Emergency Intercom - Ins And Outs In 2023

Episode Date: January 6, 2023

The moment we've all been waiting for, Drew and Enya share their ins and outs for 2023, Enya's newfound obsession with Chernobyl and the singularity. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. I hate how like high res and like high fucking quality your setup is. Mine is just like yours is scaring me you look like clearer than you do in real life also welcome to this episode of emergency intercom thank you thank

you for welcoming me we haven't done this in like a month i know it's been a while oh here we go is it does it look like i'm looking at the camera when i'm right there no it doesn't i mean i'm looking at the camera but if i'm over here no why would it look like you're looking at the camera you're just like well no like right here i mean like is my face heading towards the camera yes yes okay okay because can you see me when you do that yeah are you looking at me yeah why are you looking at me stop looking at me because you're beautiful have you been i feel like we haven't spoken in so long i'm like breaking the ice i feel like we're on our first i met you on twitter and we're on our first like real um video zoom day uh well things are really awkward um you're a lot different um in person than i thought you were

because i'm texting i'm really beautiful more beautiful no uh quite the opposite actually and i just think like the way you communicate is like really weird and strange and like a borderline senile and dangerous um oh i i haven't said much so like i thought our date was going pretty good because we've said a total of like maybe 20 words you're a bit of a catfish i asked my siblings that the other day i was like do y'all think i'm like a catfish like do you think i look like and they were like what does that mean and i was like what and they didn't know what that meant so i had to explain to them um and they were like no but they didn't give me much feedback which kind of scared me scared you a little bit the truth so i was like oh are they like trying to tell me it looked better on camera well i think you're a catfish

as a compliment oh that's a compliment yeah yeah you're just really good at your job since your job has to do with being on camera like it just take it as a compliment yeah um is what's up with the cat behind you because it's actually freaking me the it's not real like it can't be real i've been looking at it for so long and it's so confusing it's real it's a cute little kitty it looks real but like no blinking it looks like oh my god i just saw the back of my head i don't i don't i wasn't looking because i was looking at the cap but maybe can i see the back of your head no please please i love you so much please show me the back is it bad oh i do want to start this episode off by saying trigger warning um there's size seven font um if you look where our names are vagina and in your man's or in kai newman uh just a quick trigger warning it's going to be size seven

font the whole time um in trigger warning drew phillips um yeah just wanted to start the episode by saying that why are you warning that because it says vagina or is it just like the size of the font you think the size of the font can be triggering um specifically me um well what are your predictions for the new year let's just jump right into it it's the new year girl this audition is awkward as fuck. What is going on? What happened? I haven't spoken to you in so long. I'm like, oh, I'm nervous. You're gonna be really nervous Okay. Well, let's let's do let's start it out with our ins and outs because I told you Write like a list of things that you think you're gonna be in you said write a list of fucking predictions

Yeah ins and outs and i said ins and outs yes i did outs go you did not say ins and outs predictions go look at our text i guarantee i'm gonna hit you in the fucking head make a list of predictions look up predictions you say make a list where where I said, don't hit me up again. Look up the keyword predictions. And you denounce it. They're fucking ins and outs. Well, I got a list of ins and outs. I got a list of ins and outs. Okay, trust me.

A girl like me, I can think of outs all day. I can't think of any ins. But I can think of outs all day. Should we start with ins? Let's start with our ins. Because I have a bunch like this is all in and each line is a separate new thing oh my god bitch and then this is all outs um okay so in we have selling your soul um i don't think i need to elaborate much on that. That's basically one of my predictions.

Yeah. What is it? Um, it, sorry, you froze and I got scared. You were just, Oh,

you froze a little too. One of my predictions. Cause you told me to do fucking predictions, bitch. You set me up. Is being niche is no longer lit. I have that one. I literally have like, uh,

being mainstream. That's what i mean by selling your soul is becoming mainstream i don't mean i'm gonna actually sacrifice yeah children and shit i'm just gonna tighten my shit up a little bit um i agree next uh is in 2023 we need a new pandemic um i think we need something to reground everybody um and this time it either has to be all the way and like eradicate half of the population and like we just completely kill a lot of people maybe we target the youth this time or no one dies and we just all get locked inside for two weeks i think no one should die we just all get locked inside for two weeks. I think no one should die. We should just get locked inside.

We should just like, actually, that's a lie. I don't agree with that end because I don't want to be inside. Yeah, I feel that. I'm for the streets. That's one of my ends is being for the streets. Yeah, honestly, that's like the opposite of mine. Mine is I need to slow down. But then I'm like, oh, I need to be hedonistic and I need to like

be as disgusting and grimy as possible because the singularity is coming which is in war 2023. I don't know what that means and you keep saying that you've been saying that for like two weeks and I don't know what that means. Oh my god no! Yeah what's up? I heard singularity. Okay the singularity is when my dick and drew's butt come together yes and uh creates a singularity how do i kick you how do i kick him no i can just go myself and then i'll still be i can still come in whenever i want oh okay okay okay wait no actually what is that though what is a singularity we're just gonna be one hive mind. We're gonna be a singular being we're all gonna be linked into our brains with Cybernetics we're gonna become Terminator

What you keep saying it like it's something way more lit so that's like not the Because I'm nothing like you bitches the thing is I could never be a part of a singularity is because like you're individual no it's it's like um the microfication of the world everything around us is getting smaller and smaller sooner than later we'll have quantum computers in our hands which the computing power of those things will be able to predict the future 10 times over um and it's going to be very dangerous and scary so just be ready uh it's gonna be terrifying you know what's funny is a girl like me has been living in a singularity because everybody fucking like wants to be me yeah yeah so like i've low-key been in a singularity you low-key have been the singularity yeah and it's honestly like let's talk about it it's it's

traumatic which is i think we're forgetting the definition which is kai's penis entering my butt so you're guys technically technically technically technically which is just a little i hate the zoom to say kai newman is talking and it's just him pitching in for that. Yeah, technically, technically. Okay. Okay. I'll do a couple more. Loving thy neighbor unconditionally is in.

Unless they're a freak bitch, which is a caveat. But, like, I think we should all just be a little more loving and loving each other. I think clowns are in this year. Like not like, oh, bitch, you're being a clown, but like literally a clown like balloon animals and shit. I think you're going to make a big comeback in 2023. Me getting buccal fat removal is in and Kybella in a very big way. And I don't give a fuck about these core core videos. Oh, where's the cheek fat go?

Where did it all go? Bitch, I hate my cheek fat and it's going gone. And I'm going to become the beauty standard. And I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I thought you were the beauty standard because you've already said that that's like a really hard thing you struggle with. Yeah, I tried to kill myself oh my god i did that was the most like boozy tube ass shit ever to like just say like casually um okay i think roller coasters

um i think roller coasters uh specifically euthanasia roller coasters the one that's like 13 loops that get smaller and smaller and smaller as they go are unfortunately not going to be in but they should be because i want the option to kill myself on a roller coaster um reptile rooms and like reptile halls on youtube are in in a big way um like people showing off the reptiles that they own that they breed and that they buy um getting high on nutmeg um is in we should all eat a teaspoon of nutmeg and like hallucinate and she the see the shadow people a little bit more um i think standing up too fast please don't do that yeah no i'm gonna do there's like at least one 14 year old who's watching who would be like oh okay yeah it's literally gonna happen like

yeah you can get stuck in psychosis for the next eight years of their life it'll ruin your life don't do it um standing up too fast like in a surprising way um like getting high six times away by standing up too fast in um i think like we need to recognize that that's fun most of your ends sound like medical concerns that you just need to get checked out yeah i did swallow a bunch of dye yesterday my stomach has been cramping all night um i actually got all the dye out of my mouth except for my teeth so they look like a little bit wider also i just realized i have like um ankle biter teeth on the bottom row you know what i mean like i'm looking like these here you have like a bit of an ankle biter mouth like you look like you kind of look like if i got

into an argument with you in walmart i would like look at your mouth while you were yelling at me and i'd be like i need to chill i need to get away i'm gonna i need to run um and then i think carpet is in in 2023 not like a carpeted house but a carpeted bedroom no you know what that's also something i've been like thinking about like i've been thinking about that because i've been thinking about apartments in la i'm always like ew why the fuck is that carpeted but then i'm like wait why can carpet be a vibe but then you really start thinking about it especially in an apartment i'm like i know y'all squirted on this carpet someone at some point squirted and squooshed all over this yeah i've come on our green carpet in our living room climate change uh is in

i don't want it to be i don't want it i agree i've like i agree i've like kind of come to terms with it like there was a moment where i was like oh my god like we need to do something about this and then i've come to peace like the thing about me is i will make peace with what i can't change and one of those things being climate change also um for my ends like this is kind of like similar to something you said i was gonna say my ends are over so you can you can tap in okay so the being niche is no longer lit duh coachella is dead that's actually an out unless but it comes with like girl you can't say new words about me because i'm like it comes with a caveat belligerent caveat a gnarly belligerent caveat

uh is unless frank plays oh yeah no i'm not sick i just did a lot of coke last night so i like i think i like burned my septum a little bit but don't do that don't fucking do that oh that's one of my ends is me having a drug um issue actually i support that surprisingly i support that um i'm with you on that one to literally no matter what you do support you endlessly yeah especially for the drug habits but unless frank ocean plays if frank plays this year then it's in if he doesn't then literally if you go to coachella i'm sorry loser town you're over you're over you're over you're over but that's also we talked about this one coachella i know we talked about this one coachella happened that know, we talked about this one Coachella happened

that I'm just like a hater-ass bitch and I just like couldn't, like something about it, just whatever. No, well, I will be attending Coachella. Ivor Comby is in for the summer. Okay. Specifically for the summer, spring and summer. Did you, I think we are referencing the same thing.

Did you see that girl that was like doing all the 2000s with the she has the hair extension and all her shirts were so lit yeah all the shirts were so lit also like i've been on that shit actually i was on that shit last year micro shorts and abercrombie i've been doing that for like a while now so i mean everything i do y'all you were wearing micro shorts yeah but everything i do y'all do three months later six months later do you have a picture and preferably a video where you pass your phone between your legs and grab it Micro shorts? Yeah. But everything I do, y'all do three months later, six months later. Do you have a picture and preferably a video where you pass your phone between your legs and grab it from the back?

Oh, I do have one of my gooch and balls hanging out on my micro shorts. Can I move the sliver of jean to the side and give you rug burn, friction burn while I move it to see your taint? Yes. Yes, please. But yeah oh yeah everything I do y'all do five years later um me you say that I'm like oh no wait you don't have a tank you you have but in is smoking cigarettes um I just think it's in like especially because now that like puff bars and stuff and like i do understand like part of me was thinking this because one of the things i wrote down like i was low-key being dead ass because i have a new paranoia and fear and i'm gonna talk to you about it in a second but i was like gonna say something i was like wait i look

you need to remember that like i do have influence and i can't fear monger people and like like i have like not that i think anybody's like i think the majority of people who watch us like find smoking cigarettes repulsive which i've learned because you bitches love to tell me you think it's disgusting that i like occasionally she smokes like a cigarette once a month actually the last week we were in la you smoke you would be like you would come into my room and be like true can you come outside and smoke a cigarette and i was like no just and you were like can i smoke it in the bathroom i know you were like i don't want to go out there you know what it is before i left i was doing like my dinner

catch-ups with everybody and then i would always get like two to three drinks and like Two drinks and I'm going to smoke a pack of cigarettes. No, it's a duo but Yeah, smoking cigarettes is in and Why do we low-key need to buy iodine pills? Iodine pills. Yeah, why do we look like the yellow ones no iodine like yeah the end of the world yeah no we should buy like why does loki everybody needs to stock up on those

iodine pills are in iodine pills are in wait you know what's in you know what's in actually i just remember this is me writing the song of the summer i think i just wrote the song of the summer we should make a song when i get back like we need to make a song but yeah iodine pills are in for sure like we're popping iodine pills all 2023 to prepare for nuclear war um also i stayed up really late last night because i just found out what chernobyl was um and i wish that was a joke like okay let me clarify i knew it was like a nuclear like accident but i thought that shit happened in like 1830 no like i thought you thought we had nuclear power in 1830 girl i don't know anything you don't know anything and then i thought chernobyl was just a random show that people were saying it right scary um am i yeah no i'm just saying because chernobyl yeah you're saying it right i'm just saying like i say yeah

i can't say anything right also the fact that i couldn't say like iodine when i was watching the show last night and they were like iodine iodine iodine like whatever why did that shit happen when my dad was 13 years old yeah why and that's why it's crazy is because everyone experienced it also what's insane i dude i literally drew i what did i just say what did i just say you said it's crazy because everybody experienced it um but like pause why is no one talking about chernobyl no chernobyl is the pause of this century. That shit is sus as fuck. Also, like, no, Drew, if you saw the way I was acting last night after watching one episode, I was freaking the fuck out. Did you watch the docuseries or like a documentary or like the show?

I'm watching like the docuseries where they just the HBO one. No, that's like, is it a docuseries or is it a show? No, it's a show i actually every time i say docuseries i'm like oh it's a series where people are like doing like a true base story but i don't think that's the proper i think it's like this show where they like it's the show where they like acted out what happened um yeah it's like one of the best shows of all time and i could not get through the first episode but i will say i did have a chernobyl arc where i was like watching youtubers like go there and explore the radiated lands irradiated lands and seeing all

the critters running around and all the fucking deer that have foreheads and ulcers all over their body and the people that refuse to move out of there and now have like an eighth limb um yeah that's the crazy thing i was like this shit happened in like at least 1920 something um but it scared it like literally sent me into a bad like freak out and i was like damn maybe i do have like some sort of like anxiety-based disorder or something because the way i genuinely i immediately it's like my obsession with planes and then i immediately i'm like that is going to happen to me there's no way it's not gonna happen to me um yeah i'm the same way i get hyper fixated on like how i'm gonna die and then i just like

theorize ways i'm gonna die over and over again and then i find a new thing type i don't think i'm gonna die in a plane crash anymore actually i never did i thought i was gonna survive the plane crash i was supposed to but um yeah i literally i immediately was looking up how to buy like iodine pills peels i can't say you can't buy iodine peels they're pills and then i was looking them up and i was like oh my god what's the proper one to get like i need to stock up and then i was looking them up and I was like, oh my God, what's the proper one to get? Like, I need to stock up. And then I was like getting actually really upset because I was like, dude, I got into an argument with a friend because we were like all watching it. And then I was like asking everybody, I was like, oh, like hypothetically, if something like this happened, what would be your first cause of action?

And one of the friends was like, oh no, listen, they were like, oh, like I would just like hope that like my government has like a good like plan of action to like go forward and i would listen i'm like we're watching this shit not happen right now and that shit happened did we see the way the pandemic was handled oh my god i went i've been playing basketball at the gym and in gran, the Y. And I played two days in a row. And yesterday, it was a five on five. And we were running half court because I was like, I'm not playing full court. You're not getting me to run up and down a full court right now. No, absolutely not. And I swear to God, I thought I was dying. I'm not even exaggerating. I tasted blood in my mouth. Like I, I taste,

I, I had metal in my mouth and today my heart is literally sore. Um, just needed to get that out there. And it's from the Johnson and Johnson vaccine. It gave me fucking blood. Your sister fed you red, uh, blue 30. You know what it is? It's literally because i eat talkies and smoke puff bars all day it tastes it tastes like all the puff bar oil had settled in my lungs and i was just like breathing it up because i was breathing hard and it was like it was crazy i got popcorn lungs that is like actually nasty i really am so curious what the effects of that are going to be wait did they actually stop selling them in la do you know have you heard from the people i i mean from the last like four smoke shop owners like that's it january 1st it's

over but since either way it's over for me because josiah and lucas stopped too wow that's big i know it's it truly is over but yeah i was last night literally i was like oh my god we're because you know what was scary too is like i feel like it hasn't been long enough since like and the first like big nuclear accident happened so i'm like it will only happen again within the next hundred years and we are going to be alive for that because humans don't learn anything and then i was actually freaking happen so i'm like it will only happen again within the next hundred years and we are going to be alive for that because humans don't learn anything and then i was actually freaking out smiling because i was like dude we literally have become like numbed i have have you become numb to the idea of like nuclear like threats like i was about to say have you looked so and so like

threat and so and so for with nuclear threats i'm like like i don't give a fuck have you looked into the cuban missile crisis have you looked into the cuban no don't tell me that bitch yeah that shit was real everybody thought they were gonna die is that new wait did that just drop no no the cuban missile crisis was like a while ago um i think it was in the 60s or some shit like that. It was just like threat of nuclear warfare in the world ending. And like it was so close to happening. And just world leaders figured it out. Like because once the first nuke is sent, like once we send a nuke at Russia or China or whatever it is,

the world is ending because everybody's just going to launch all their nukes all at once. And it's just like over. And that is why we should make love and not war did i just did i just make that up did you make that up i think i just made make love not war up no you had to have just looked that up and No, no, no. Look, my phone is still open. No. Wait, look it up. Look it up. Wait, let's make sure.

I just made up. It's not a thing. Love not war. Wait. Wait, what is that? That's it. What is that? I think we can call it like a Pisces or some peace sign

peace sign. Make love not war baby peace, like world peace. My god, you literally just kept saying things that I've like never heard and they like make sense though. That's the thing about me is like I said, I'm five years ahead of you bitches. Like, off-white. I'm five years ahead. That's the thing about me is I'm five years ahead. Like, off-white and shit. But, yeah, that's what I spent my night doing.

Just literally tweaking the fuck out and freaking out because I was like, I was like, damn. It's all over. I gonna die from and just think about it just think about it in our lifetime we'll have quantum computers that are run on nuclear power in our iphones and these will explode in our pockets for the first five years and it's gonna cause just micro nuclear incidents all over the world and it's just gonna irradiate little small blocks oh bet you want to bet i just i think the thing is like i genuinely think we could stop here like we're done oh yeah we could but hello capitalism says hi i know but like imagine capitalism wasn't a thing like what more do we need we don't need anything else

we've honestly already gone kai needs pussy kai needs pussy well straight up he's always yeah but you know sometimes you don't get what you need if you don't deserve it well i think i deserve it can i guys can i do my uh ins and outs really quick oh my god just super quick i'm in and out of your mom. My in is into Kai's butt and then his cock is coming out. That was literally the first one. Okay.

Ins is wearing a black Glossier hoodie. Another in is wearing a brown hoodie. And then two, you're going to name your whole wardrobe. It's literally going to take like three seconds.

So just, he already did. He already did. It's over. Okay. So another in is two letter names. Oh, like hi.

Yeah. When you're low key, so minimalist, like short name, no clothes, no swag, no bitches. You don't have anything marie kondo is actually my ex which is crazy okay um having this is that the girl that made all the

made you organize your house and shit throw away all your stuff she's my ex she had a netflix show i just have two more so another one is having this haircut and then the last one is girl don't make an end that you won't have for very long time is ticking the last one is uh drew's dick in my butt is the last time yeah yeah yeah that's going in there for sure um i kai you dated um what was her name uh marie kondo i dated chloe ting no way i did chloe ting uh ab workout girl 483 million views on her ab workout video you know how much money well did she have abs in? No, she was bloated as fuck and on her period every day. It was nasty. Oh, this is something I've been thinking about, actually.

So we've discussed it before, how 70% to 90% of our diet came from nuts and berries, right? Mm-hmm. From the women gathering the nuts and berries, and they would send our dumb asses out to the woods to like hunt and fuck off and probably go play with each other's private parts because we realized it felt good and it's okay um it wasn't stigmatized back then and all the while the girls were in the camps like um taking care of our children like playing with well why wouldn't the girls

be playing with each other too oh just wait they were playing with their boobs and like fingering each other and taking care of our children and doing witchcraft in the fire and like um shoving leaves up their because their periods you know what's crazy is actually like i bet the first fingering happens like really early on in human nature because like someone's gonna put a finger in that hole like yeah yeah you're right like fingering definitely happened before fucking because like a girl was probably like um what and like what it was like, oh my god, there's more in there you think Dude yes, she probably had sex first in our animal DNA I've never seen a gorilla figure another gorilla

monkeys itch that no cuz monkeys like it it's their fucking butts and shit and you know a finger slipped like Yeah, disgusting like actually ew that looks like this photorealistic you know what's nasty is i know there's dirt under there and drew sits there and like picks with it and like rolls it up Oh, no, I do something worse I do this. Hmm That's how I build my Scrape it out with my keep your sodium intake up when you don't have chips as you fucking eat the salt and like dirt From under your nails. I actually withdraw from talkies and McDonald's is really dangerous actually and it's funny I actually haven't had McDonald's for like three plus weeks

i had it for the first time last night was it lit no it burned my tongue the tip of my tongue it was like gross well i got way too high when i was in miami and i went into an arcade and i was freaking the fuck out and i wait that's literally one of my outs is McDonald's you being shocked like that bitch you wrote it I forgot I wrote it cuz I wrote so long ago how about that okay okay what what are your other outs buying the newest iPhone every every time it drops every time a new one comes out this over. Records specifically like vinyls and setting world records. What do you have to prove? It's out. It is out. You just bought me a fucking record player. So yeah, but like also world records, both records and vinyls. Gram sis is over we don't need grammar anymore um you know what this one's for me that actually was like really getting in my head the other day was when you made a joke about

having nothing to like not needing to know how to spell because our iphones do it for us and that was actually freaking me out because i was like dude there are genuinely some fucking snotty nose ass kids out there who aren't learning how to spell because they just have like word to text and just wait like they're always on their phones and that's like the main form of communication so no bitch has to sit and write a letter or anything so they're just like whatever just wait and voice memos like i was, they literally just need to know how to speak. They don't need to know how to like, yeah. Just wait.

There's going to be robots that tie your shoes. What the fuck is wrong with you? Like, literally, what is wrong with you? What are you talking about? They'll tie your shoes. Well,

basically, you can get it for $3 off. She and it's like one of those videos where the ladies have everything in their house that does everything for them. You know what's crazy is how we treat our children. We treat them like some little sub-humans that don't actually exist and that they're going to be humans one day and that they're not actually humans. They're humans going to be humans. Drinking until you pass out is out. Oh, yeah.

A philosophy is out. I'm tired of being schizophrenic. Um, I did get two books in general is like, so loud is boring. Like literally do something else. Get a, get a life challenge. Frogs, um, are out. I think they had their Renaissance in 2022. Uh, but they're over, chips candy and mcdonald's are out in a very big way for 2023. again most of the things you say are literally just like

medical related issues that you have that you just say like and you're classist and you hate poor people football see what that has to do with it but die um what football and baseball are out I'm tired of seeing it get it off my fucking pages get it out of my life oh big fucking strong men football can stay football can stay i like seeing the big boys playing with each other baseball you're done you are like actually so ill you're so trill oh that's what's in the word trill oh this shit's trill as fuck

um yeah we're bringing trill back so i had it in in and i have it in out as well uh climate change um i'm scared i'm really really scared y'all it's coming it's coming um and then after climate change i will say for christmas it was literally like 43 degrees in miami and i was like we're done it says it's over i was like it was 43 degrees that sunday for like christmas and then the next sunday it was 83 degrees yeah that's fucking i was about to that Sunday for like Christmas. And then the next Sunday it was 83 degrees. Yeah, that's fucking. I was about to say it was like eight degrees on Christmas. And then a week later it was 70 degrees in Texas. Yeah, fucking right.

That temperature swing. Jarring. Yeah. Just Texas is better than Florida. Okay. The next one change. I mean, like things changing like i don't i want it to stay still and i also mean like coins we're done where it's done it's over did you know they still make new quarters which is bullshit new coins i think i have a fear of coins like actually when i touch

them like i feel like this coating get on my fingers and it's like oil from other humans and i fucking hate it that's where they're putting the nuclear residue to kill off citizens is it think about it and like think about it yeah oh you didn't touch your because why are they making new ones i thought we were like having i thought we were having like an economic issue like why are they printing more money like i thought they were done doing that and why the fuck are there new quarters their quarters not only the new quarters for this year but i saw a quarter for 2021 yeah it's bullshit and it's bullshit like no actually like i didn't know they were doing that like why are they doing that like are they like re-stamping old quarters like i genuinely i think they're throwing i think they're throwing away old ones and putting new ones in recirculation

and like recycling them and uh i had something so funny to say i i was like oh this is gonna hit this is gonna bang i lost it um coins what was it it was coins money change um whatever it's it's done um shame is out like yeah we live in such a shameful society and i'm tired of being filled with shame and walking around with shame um for me just experiencing life um and i'm letting go of that in 2023 um doing laundry i think we should go six or seven days between laundry cycles save some water like two weeks so like you're not like're, you don't do laundry. How do you know about that? I am not kidding. I think in the time of living with you, I think a year, I see you head to the laundry room maybe once a month.

Maybe. Yeah, and I have a bunch of clothes. No, you don't, though. You don't, though. Oh, but I do. I do. Allergic reactions. don't though you don't though oh but i do i do um allergic reactions oh you know what should be in is washing your fucking sheets and washing your hands this year should be in for you no oh i remembered what it was um did you know there is a chemical that's put on receipts that alters your hormone balances and when they ask you for your

receipts it's um the uh lizard people are trying to push their agenda so don't take the receipts why did you say did you know that like that's real because that you made that up that's not true look it up it's called like bva or something like that. It alters your hormones. I need less hormones. As a man, I need less hormones. Do you know what I mean? No. What, like, because you're, like, what is it doing that's bad to you?

I don't know. I don't have anything for you you're asking too many damn questions that you don't want the fucking answers for let's just say that okay oh um allergic reactions out that's embarrassing um get over your nut allergy balls in my mouth out 2023 you're done with balls yes i honestly like i've low-key been like over balls for like a really long time like i don't fuck with balls like i think they're so fucking annoying it's gross it's nasty. Fully stopping at stop signs. I think we're grown enough to realize that you don't have to do that anymore. You can kind of just like half stop. This is a really hard one, but trees.

I think are out in 2023. I'm tired of seeing their leaves fall. It makes me sad. they should be green all year uh carnivorous gang we should just have genetically modified trees gmo trees that's what should be in yeah yeah yeah okay that's a good happy medium i agree with that um in dyson vacuum or ulta beauty and dyson vacuums are out are out oh Ulta Beauty is fucking lit like what are you talking about it's out I'm sorry have you been in one ever no but I don't that's what I'm saying they don't exist to me they don't need to exist

so Ulta Beauty their point back system is amazing this is a an old ad all of a sudden i know literally was about to go in uh but yeah dyson vacuums too fuck dyson vacuums stop i like our dyson vacuum i think dyson vacuums are so good oh okay it's a cutout when you turned around and it wasn't blurry anymore i couldn't tell if the cat thing was like a 3d one or if it was a cutout but it's fully a cutout like when you turned around and it wasn't blurry anymore i couldn't tell if the cat thing was like a 3d one or if it was a cutout but it's fully a cutout like when you moved like when you turned around it like went like it it almost went limp not limp but it like it lost its life um well my outs are um yeah take no okay i'm not gonna keep talking until you take that off

hi i'm a little piggy stop wait why am i low-key giving nft this is what we're all gonna look like in 10 years we're gonna look lucky giving nft this is what we're all gonna look like in 10 years we're gonna look at that one virtual reality that one virtual reality babe oh sorry i'm literally getting a facetime call from my lady because a package came to my house in miami and they literally are like can i open open it? Milady, Milady, Milady. Milady. Put your

fucking mask on. The new COVID variant is out. What are the chances we get a new COVID variant this year? Oh, it dropped today. It's trending number one on Twitter today. No, it just dropped. And it's taking, it's all or 40% of all covid cases and from or it

was five percent or four percent of all covid cases on the 6th of december and now it's 40 of all so it's hella hella contagious so we're done hide your grandpa hide your grandma. They're gonna die soon. Are you being for real? Yeah, it's called, like, the IBX214 or some shit like that. Bitch, I think you're lying. I'm being dead serious. Oh, this one's horror. Loading.

Loading. Oh. No, this is old ass news, bitch. No, it's trending on Twitter. I can't find it so it's not real and you can't convince me. I don't have Twitter. And neither do you, so you're lying. I'm not lying.

I have Twitter, but for other reasons. And sometimes I'll navigate over to the trending page. What? Where'd you go? Who was that? Hello? Hi. Hello?

Hi. Where's Drew? Drew, come back. Kai, where's Drew? Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. All of you. Kai and Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. All of you. Kai and Inga, kill yourself. Kill yourself.

How'd you get in here? I'm getting in here. No. What the fuck was that? Who was that? Looks like... Oh, there you go. Who was that? I think that was... one of your alter egos.

Oh, this one's cute. I'm gonna do this one's cute oh the nice alter ego is here we're safe again world peace um there is something very very evil about your first piss of the day being not at your house yeah you know what i'm saying like there's something really really sinister about waking up and getting ready and having to leave the house so fast that you're like wherever you're going you're like fuck i forgot to pee and i really have to pee on the way to this thing i'm going to and then your first piss and release of the day being somewhere else like i think that causes like bad luck and also uh women peeing in public toilets um can give y'all stis is that true you're you're spreading false information

i was like hold on i don't know like yeah i got an STI once at Pam's, too, in Granbury, Texas. I sat on the toilet, and it infected my pee hole. That's because you used the glory hole. Well, that's because you also let your wiener dip into the water because you told me once that you liked that. Oh, yeah, it's so long that it does, and I can't help it. It's like when you would play in a pool, and you had the hose, and you would put the hose in, and you had the hose and you would

put the hose in and you saw like the water pressure dude did y'all also do this but with your wiener i was about to say did y'all also do this just like grabbing the hose and shoving it up your butthole as a kid and just like filling your colon with water and then pooping it out no yeah that he must have been like a guy thing did you ever like when you were in a hot tub you put your asshole over the jet and then you jump out and you like squirt water out of your butt yeah yeah

it felt like I was getting what getting what you guys I think I'm gonna go cause you guys are making me uncomfortable um are you naturally like that drew or are you just like it's a choice it's a choice it's fully a choice yeah i'm just curious because like yeah nurture versus nature uh neither of those are real it is fully a choice

100 Nurture versus nature. Neither of those are real. It is fully a choice. 100%. And anybody saying it's not is a liar. With that filter on. Can you take that fucking filter off? Yeah, like you. Oh, bitches are mad and so jealous that I discovered it. Being like a homophobic conservative with that filter. You like, when you put on that filter, you serve like woman who lives in the Midwest,

who's like, can normal people take back rainbows? Like, why do they have to be for gay people? Like, can I just not enjoy a rainbow now? No, exactly. I can't enjoy a rainbow. Rainbows was God first was god's first and then the gays took it and made it mean something it wasn't supposed to mean i don't think that is necessarily true

dude i heard that you said you look like an ankle biter. Like, you really, really do. Like, you really, really do. What is this? Hold on. Yeah, these are the ones. Dude, this episode has just turned into us looking at you. Like, you can't do this. Because, like, literally, if you go back to the episode, the second you started playing with filters my mind would like numb like it like literally like

something my brain mind clicked to like watching tick tock kind of brain where i have nothing to say yeah i'm in an nft it's hard to talk to a non-fungible token i didn't know that's what that meant. I did not know that NFT meant words. Like, I thought that's just what they called it. Okay, I'll just wear the beret and that's it. I'm a French cow. Well, are you going to go to Paris? Maybe. Maybe on the 18th.

Or I'd probably leave the 17th. Well, if you come this way, I just won't go back home and we can meet up and go together. Would you want to come? Not if I have to go back to LA and then come back because I won't go. Respect. Respect. I'll let you know if I do. Yeah, I'm getting flown out to Paris.

By a brand. I'm not kidding. I cannot look at you. I'm not kidding. I cannot look at you. I'm turning it off. I'm turning it off. Well. What a way to start the new year.

Okay. Also, it seems like this is Who the fuck was that? It seems like this is the cheapest pack of VR things you can buy. It's like everything that comes with it. Paradise. That's in Iceland on my birthday. If that happens.

Yeah, as the solar eclipse happens. I don't have anything in me. I'm done. I'm done. Well done well no you have to do at least one out each then because i kind of just consumed the outs well because i didn't write any fucking outs because you didn't tell me to do ended out so you told me to do 2023 predictions yeah i just hit your ass okay a few of my outs is over consumption this is also for myself i think i can like over consume and be a little too crazy i would like to stop over consuming but that probably won't happen because it's either an addiction to drugs or an addiction to shopping

and i think shopping is better um but i will try my best. Another out is... I think I'm done being... That's just a lie. I'm done being a hater, but that is literally a lie. Yeah, fucking right. Yeah, fucking right. That is so ingrained into your soul. My out...

No, for real, I am going to try and not be such a hater. I'm going to actually try. And I think theater um i'm gonna actually try and i think the first step is to not saying my hateful thoughts out loud and then maybe that will lessen my hatefulness i think everybody has you know what it is i'm like two joan rivers within like my comedy style like too much of my comedy style is within being a spiteful hateful bitch respect i was gonna say i think everybody has hateful thoughts but we just internalize them um but you see that a girl like me speaks her mind and i need to shut up i think um you should be more womanly and stop talking and listen more.

Wow. Wow. See how it feels when you sit with that thought? That's just a thought that I've been having recently is girls, just stop talking challenge. Well, you would have to be talking to women to even have that effect. Oh, I get puss.

I slay puss. Um, and again, yeah. And out is like excessive drinking, which like I don't necessarily do that. But I mean, in general, like it'll stop like like no more like blackout culture. Like, why are you blacking out? Like, are you 15? Like, learn how to control yourself. That was a slight at me.

My last out, and I think I'm going to fail because I plan on doing this, is straightening my hair. But that has more to do with me. Most of my outs are, like, New Year's Revolution type beat. So like it's not really like true out. Dense, dense revolutions. I'm literally gonna start stealing your stuff and fucking selling it on OfferUp if you don't stop talking to me like that. No, you're not. What if I started stealing your shit on Facebook Market? My roommate sold all my on facebook marketplace for dollars

and i put your name on all of it i was like drew phillips desk and all your is on the floor the next day all right well that's my outs kai kai already did his outs he did his ins and outs together i could do a couple more i'll do one more a couple more okay i think out is being mean to me i think people should be nice to me at all times that don't even sound right hold on what the only thing that's out is me from that idea i'm out i'm not buying it i'm not buying it i just i don't know i think it'd be cool for the next year. And also- Wait, an inn?

An inn is us going to Shark Tank with that idea and watching it fucking flop. It lasted for 30 seconds. Great. Wait, why should we make the Kai doll? And it's like, it's like a voodoo doll and you just beat it up. What the fuck? I, that sounds good. Yeah, I beat it up. What the fuck? That sounds good. Yeah, I beat it up.

Drew's been beating it up for a while. Yeah. Oh my god, I just looked at myself and my eyes looked so scary. I will say, I haven't seen a photo or anything of you in a long time. But when you sent a video of me to yourself the other day i was like whoa the fuck yeah and i was like and i was like i was like whoa whoa her name was mary well looking like a star hold on we got media. Pause. I watched The Chef last night. Actually, really fucking cool.

Surprisingly, a good movie. It was funny. It was like a dark comedy. I was not expecting it. And I was expecting it to be fucking stupid. But it was like kind of targeting like cooking culture and how serious it is like when it's literally just food um and it's really hard for me to like watch like food movies or television where it's like a drama and it's like this is like the end of the world if i don't cook the best meal in the world um so it was right up my alley and then uh just watch i think is it the taste of pomegranates

or is it the taste of tea oh the taste of tea yes it's um you probably reblogged it on tumblr in 2014 without even knowing did you finally watch it yeah how was it was it kind of like slow yes it was just visually very appealing is super visually insane and interesting but it's just like okay yeah that's exactly what i was going to compare it to is it's just like house but like modernized like digitally um but yeah those are my two movies and music uh i have one song and it's by crimes uh i've been listening to crimes recently not grimes uh crimes and it's stress by crimes that's a really cool song um and you should listen to it um well my media of the week is chernobyl um because i'm gonna finish it today and freak the fuck out and have an anxiety attack maybe honestly i should get high as fuck and watch it so that I can like get so scared that I have to

go to sleep because I'm like genuinely going to believe that I'm going to be nuked. Um, oh my God, actually, I just remembered, I had a dream that I woke up and I had no boobs and I always complained about having my boobs, but in the dream it was so like dysmoric and like dysmorphic and scary for me that I like had really small boobs and i was actually freaking the fuck out in the dream and then somebody who we know was in there and i was taking like a nude and they were watching me and i was like but i didn't care whatever um it's like so funny it's super random drew mac was watching you take a nude yes but it wasn't like a sexually watching me it was just funny like he had come to the bathroom because he had slept over at my house and he was like oh can

i use it out there i was like i don't give a fuck like come in and i was like bitch i don't have tits anymore and like he was like oh my god you literally don't have tits anymore and i was like look like i can't even like i don't even know what i would do in like a nude and i was like but i wasn't happy in the dream but i think i wasn't happy in the dream because i woke up and my tits were gone like i couldn't say goodbye and it was really scary but i was immediately in the dream i was like fuck so many tops are gonna look so good on me like i have to go home like i was at my parents house anyway it was weird but yeah drew was in it and i was like he's literally like it was so weird and like he went and got me a t-shirt um from my room

because i was like we were like trying to practice how i would take nudes and he was like you kind of have to do like this vibe to like make it sexy like would you like okay i'm like i was just gonna ask was i in the dream sucking your boobs or no no you were like honestly part of the dream was so peaceful because you were like you didn't exist in that realm oh because i thought like maybe i would have been like playing with your boobs or like sucking on no no it was like it was like honestly in a weird way i like i think my brain was trying to tell me like i have the wrong drew in my life yeah

okay and you you're just here yeah yeah well well do my media of the week if you want if you want I could do my media there are things I want from you that i can't ask because i will

get in a lot of trouble well you know if you want me to do it i can do it to kind of like fill the fill the silence while drew's gone you know um i haven't finished my media so i think i'm gonna do that right 100 yeah 100 yeah i was just kind of saying like i actually haven a finish on media so i think i'm gonna do that right 100 yeah yeah i was just kind of saying like i actually haven't seen you in so long i know it's been a minute do i look do i look different um you look older yeah you look like you aged rapidly in the past like month and a half no no weird i don't think people like I knew the closer you got to 30, the more you look like an adult. But I think you would like like elderly like. So, yeah, I look geriatric is what you're saying.

Sorry, I think Drew's ghost is hanging around. Fuck, who's that sound? It's Drew lost in the ethers. It'll do like a noise cancellation but it still like breaks through. Help!

Help! Drew are you okay? I killed myself. I'm shooting myself with guns alright the noise cancelling literally makes it sound like the most like silent accident on the planet it sounds like you're a thousand miles away

could you really not hear the gunshots the whole time? No. No, it sounds like you're making popcorn in three rooms over. I was playing gun sound effects since the second I left. Because I was like, oh, it would be hilarious if I just played gun sound effects and acted like I killed myself. Oh my god. okay my media of the week is chernobyl and then i'm gonna probably finish that and it's fucking insane and i can't believe that that's real and happened oh uh super bad because i re-watched super bad to show it to my little brother and literally super bad is still so funny um made me very jealous and envious um because i want to

be recognized as a real comedian but sometimes i feel like i'm just like the sexy girl um and that's like a really hard like thing for me to carry but you can be a pretty girl and a funny girl no no you're saying nonsense okay you're a unicorn babe it's marry me material what the fuck are you saying to me it's giving unicorns you sound like if you fed an ai only the things you buy at ross to hang up on a wall like and you tried to have an emotional conversation with it it's good i'm sorry the police um my song media is bikini bottom by ice spice i also feel like i had this thought the other day like i feel like me and ice spice would get along and i'm not even kidding like i thought about it i was like i feel like me and ice spice could like really get along if we were in a room together like i could make her laugh and then maybe she would hug me party down by little beaver

in my bed by drew hill you are the one oh i forgot i made that song i'm not gonna give you guys that one i i i forgot i made that in my bed i'll say it you are the one marie angela celeste evangelist lazy conk cocktail twins unmade, Tom York from the Suspiria. I forgot I made that fucking song. You know, talking sometimes is unbearable. Sometimes you ruin my vibe. Somehow that's way more hurtful than what I said. Bitch don't kill my vibe.

Oh, don't look at me. Every time I get into a car that has a plug-in nox that was made before, like, 2017, ADHD by Kendrick Lamar is the first song to play. It's really, really unsettling and embarrassing on my phone. Ah! My admission. No!

Was that good? yeah it's peaking now i was at a dinner with some friends and i showed it to one friend on my phone on YouTube and I like played it and then like I was like weird cracking up I was like and I put it down and I forgot I had YouTube premium and my phone just kept like and I got really embarrassed because my phone just kept replaying it okay well thank you guys so much for watching. Help. Help. Help me. Help me. Are they coming for you? Help me.

Drew, are they coming? Drew? They're here. They're here. They're really quiet. They're here. They're really quiet. Stop. What? Just don't kill me.

Please don't kill me. Why is it playful? It's kind of horny. I know. Sorry, I was talking to my sister. Oh. Whoa. The fuck?

Okay, Drew. If I don't come back to LA and you don't have your hair, like, dark brown again, no more sex. Thank you guys so much for watching this episode. We'll see you next week. And I know that's hard for you to bear. Maybe if I don't die in a plane crash.

I know. If I don't die from a nuclear missile. I'll see you next week. Okay, bye. ស្លាប់បានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានប�