Emergency Intercom - Kink shame episode

Episode Date: September 13, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Calling all sellers, Salesforce is hiring account executives to join us on the cutting edge of technology. Here, innovation isn't a buzzword. It's a way of life. You'll be solving customer challenges faster with agents, winning with purpose, and showing the world what AI was meant to be. Let's create the agent-first future together. Head to salesforce.com slash careers to learn more. Come here. Come here. Ew ew come here ew your long fucking nails we're gonna scratch the insides come here you freak ass hoe hi guys welcome back to emergency intercome. Yeah, welcome back, welcome back.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Guys, we're trying to get into it. We're not really feeling it today. Yeah, I feel very lethargic and crazy. If anybody knows me, you know that waking up early is a miracle for me. It is a godsend. It's not my usual. And this morning morning i woke up eyes bursted open at 8 52 a.m and i looked down and no don't clap you're good it's not good because it's not good i woke up from a dream where me and drew were witnessing a category
Starting point is 00:01:37 i literally hate it like i feel like last night there was a moth attacking my phone up in the middle of the night and that is giving me the same feeling where i'm like i have to like guide it away and then just like like catch it um i woke up from a dream where me and drew were witnessing a category four tornado in the middle of bumfuck ef4 oh sorry i was thinking hurricane yeah you're so annoying um you need to turn that off you're freaking me out like why do you just have that on for fun i it unironically feels good to me like when i put it on my like these two muscles it like feels so good like it's almost like a massage yeah okay and i also want to try putting it on my wrist but i'm scared that it's gonna like
Starting point is 00:02:31 uh okay now it's starting to hurt actually um i woke up from that dream and i looked at the time and i thought to myself it is early enough i can risk going back to sleep because i need to get back to that dream and I wanted to go back to seeing the tornado so bad that I went back to the dream and I actually successfully got back into the dream but the weird part is it was like that dream kept going without me so like when I left I came back and things had kept happening while I was awake and I didn't have time to put on an alarm so i woke up at 11 and said and it was really sad dreams i also woke up and i wake up every day with the gnarliest neck pains because i don't know how to sleep correctly and i by miracle not only woke up early woke up with no neck pain felt fully rested but wanted to get back to that dream so i fucked it up and then i woke up
Starting point is 00:03:20 and my neck was all twisted up and my fucking shoulders hurt now dude i've been waking up at like the ripe time of 6 a.m like writhing around in my bed and i cannot get back to sleep until like i stand up and then for some reason after i stand up i can lay back down and go back to sleep but like literally like writhing around in bed because you like stand up and you almost faint every time oh my god God. That was another thing. Sorry. I keep talking about my fucking dreams, but the night I was sitting in your bed and we were talking about like the medication thing. I had also seen that like a side effect was getting really dizzy and nauseous. And then so as I was going to bed, I was knocking on every time I knocked out. My body was like putting myself in this dream scenario where like I was standing around
Starting point is 00:04:04 in random places in the house around you and like other friends and I kept like I was standing and then I would get really dizzy and like know I was gonna faint and then like my body it felt so real and scary because what was happening is I was just falling asleep and my body was fully going like knocking out but in the dream it felt real like I was just standing around and like fainting and then I kept waking up and I woke up like four different times while I was falling asleep and I kept begging you guys and being like please please please please help me like I keep fainting I keep fainting like I like I've never fainted before like I always said I wanted this but I'm like scared now I don't
Starting point is 00:04:37 want to faint and you guys were laughing at me because you were like girl you're so annoying like go lay down and I was just like no seriously and it was because like as I was fainting in the dream I kept knowing I was gonna like knock out and faint so I would lay on the floor and then pass out but then when I passed out I would wake back up in real life and then get back in the dream and then I was stuck in this cycle for like 20 minutes before falling asleep and then I was really scared because I thought I was dying and I was like I when I woke up the last time I was like my heart might be failing right now and nobody will know and my dream is trying to tell me to go to the hospital but i'm just gonna go to sleep and then i knocked on my door and i was fine
Starting point is 00:05:13 actually do you mind if i get a little bit more relaxed for this episode and put my yes of course like just lock i mean you yawn you get on your phone you lay around every time i get on my phone i'm doing i we established this in the last episode i'm actually writing notes and looking at pornography you need pen and paper for now on no more technology a quill um dude i got an app like yours drew where it shuts down all the social media the good apps but there's this thing i have to scan on my refrigerator to unlock them that's a fucking, it's called a brick. And it says you're bricked up.
Starting point is 00:05:46 I'm not even joking. Damn. So I'm currently bricked up. Wait, did you have to print out the QR code? No, they send you this little gray box and you put it on your fridge. How much is it? It's 40 bucks. But it's worth it because I'm so productive.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Bitches got no control. I could code that shit for you. It is really dystopian though because every time i want to check instagram i have to stand in front of my fridge and it's like a reward system for your like eight brain like the banana smoothie and those like uh trials where you're like yeah and the worst part is all of the all the cookies and candy are in there so i'm also tempted with that you keep your cookies and candy in the fridge you fucking monster have you ever had a frozen sour patch kid i don't like sour patch kids those are disgusting i have these uh true fruit things that are like frozen grapes covered in sour powder and it's
Starting point is 00:06:34 the greatest thing i've ever had in my life i still have like never fully digested one like for something about them feels like unnatural they are extremely unnatural it's like it's like how post-covid we don't talk about one of the biggest consequences we face which is like cheetos being crushed up and put onto everything like that is a consequence of covid that would have never happened if we weren't that's a consequence of social media like that's a consequence of food trucks like like it is um no that shit is exciting and good that stuff's really good i blacked out one time eating those yeah when i came here oh yeah kai literally was like dieting like crazy kai was in ketosis and he came over and gorged like a whole bag to himself and
Starting point is 00:07:20 like left like dizzy and filled like stuffed oh are we gonna talk about what we were watching yeah i was about to bring that up so the other night andy and i were just like chilling on the couch and we all know like what a feeder kink is like we've we've been privy to it for a while it's been thrusted into the mainstream with certain tiktokers and da da da da da but some backstory like feeder kinks are like people that um like making other people eat a bunch of food and get big bellies there's the feeder and there's the feedie the feeder likes to feed them the feedie likes to get big um for the person and like a lot of it is like stuffing food down people's throats like crazy fucking vibes
Starting point is 00:08:05 y'all one of the videos we found was literally these two girls one of them that's the one i was referencing and she put like a funnel a funnel down in this girl's mouth and poured like a chocolate smoothie in her mouth it was crazy it was like the craziest thing we also while we were doing this we like we do this often like where we go down these rabbit holes of kinks that are like like no one's like naked leather fart kinks there's a bunch of like leather um pantsed women farting playlists on youtube if you ever just want to tap the fuck in like i'm sure we've showed kai before like it's a it's a great pastime it's either you forced me to watch yeah it's either beyonce music videos or leather pants fart like it's some odd
Starting point is 00:08:53 like abstract kink that gets passed on youtube regulations which is actually fucking ridiculous because the fact that we get like partially demonetized for some of the shit we say when i can get on my fucking apple tv and watch a girl like roll around and fart and like shake her ass and like moan her there's one that's so good she like starts working out like we have like a solid five that we always revisit and my favorite one is when she's like on all fours on the bed like twerking the fart out it's so you know what i was thinking when i was watching we were watching that it's because like we watch it one because we are making fun of it sorry
Starting point is 00:09:29 to each their own but it's public i'm king shaming it's crazy but part of it is like us watching and really trying hard to like understand we're like psychoanalyze what about this like what about this like could i ever be in a place where i'm like oh that's like hot like we're like really watching it and we went so far down this rabbit hole that i was like this is pushing it like we might as well be watching we were watching feeder porn together and enjoying it no the craziest part is we were doing all of this on the apple tv not only that but on josh's youtube account so if you go to josh's watch history on his YouTube account, it's like feeder kink, like 70 videos of it.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Cause we went, just went down the playlist and we're like, Oh my God, we have avocado. Yeah. It started with Nikocado avocado. We'll get into that in a second. Cause we have theories. Us never talking about like pop culture things, but we're like Nikocado avocado though.
Starting point is 00:10:23 Theories, theories. So then Kyle, you'll enjoy this one the obvious graduation from feeder kinks is vor so i put any on the vor and there are crazy and kai loves vor like that's that's my thing everyone knows that's his thing. That's my thing. Everyone knows that's my thing. Kai's thing is Vore. So I put Enya on to Vore and like we went down like the darkest rabbit hole ever in the videos on there on YouTube. Like some child was probably just looking up like Elsa and Anna like compilation videos. And ended up on that side. And ended like elsa being eaten by anna and like literally just like her feet sticking out of their mouth because they love they're obsessed with the feet hanging out they love it literally there has to be a huge connection to vor and like
Starting point is 00:11:16 the foot community like they're fucking bubbly guts like the sounds and like it did get really dark because then we started finding videos of just like random women who these freak leaks were taking and then adding gurgling sounds over and it'd be a girl just like dancing and having fun on tiktok but they're adding like like the the gut sound like that is fucking insane noises well then we're doing this we're watching those videos um and that was like actually so loud randomly no no i literally don't care i forgot what i was gonna say it like fucking hypnotized me out of it like i was entranced by the vore conversations um but no we like post those videos oh wait were you gonna talk about the the like big accounts we found
Starting point is 00:12:05 oh no but we should talk about that so like we started like we i mean y'all we did this for like an hour straight no it was at least an hour straight and i started like deep diving because like on a lot of these videos like it would be like insert name as like a water stamp i'm not giving like a water yeah like a watermark for like the person who created it. And there was this one that literally, like this person created like 70 of the most popular Vore kink videos on YouTube in this playlist.
Starting point is 00:12:34 So I look him up and I realized he has a Patreon girl. Like over almost 1,800, or was it 1,500 or 1,800? It was like 1,500. Almost 1,500 patrons subscribed for Vore. And I was like, oh my God, they walk among us. Like we've literally like actually probably met people that are into this. And like, I really need to know,
Starting point is 00:12:56 like I'm kink shaming a little bit, but like I need to know like if there's anybody that watches here. The thing is y'all would lie. Y'all would literally just lie. Like, yeah, I'm into that. Just to say you're into it. But, like, I really want to know, like.
Starting point is 00:13:09 What you look like. It just comes from, like. Okay, like, to kink shame is one thing. Like, it's easy to kink shame. But this one, it feels so fucking, like. It's like cannibalism. Oh, it's like cannibalism. It literally is.
Starting point is 00:13:21 Oh, this is what I was going to say. They get, like, the girls. Like, they eat the girls. And their bell their bellies get like nice and big and stuffed. And then like the person that they ate is like trying to punch out. And that's a big thing for them is like trying to break out of the belly. And then like in a split second, they like digest the person and their boobs and butts get bigger. Like it's like the person goes to their boobs and butts. Like all of the like nutrients goes to their boobs and butts like all of the like nutrients
Starting point is 00:13:45 just fills their boobs and butts and then it's like always like the jiggliest hugest boobs you've ever seen like it is so insane and then we were trying to find it for men we were like oh yeah all the videos we were finding it also mind you all of these are fucking animated duh but all of them are like all of them are like animated duh and then we were like okay we need to see if we can find this for men and we couldn't but we did find like these accounts of like these dudes literally just like chugging beer together and like rubbing each other's stomachs and we were cracking up because we were like dude first of all all of the videos are like 20 to 30 seconds and then it's like watch the extended version on OF
Starting point is 00:14:25 and me and George is literally dying laughing because like one of them like went to go like eat a burger together and like make out with the burger between their mouths. Oh dude like food like making out like that shit like gross. It's so gross but yeah we did that for like an hour. Wait should I show them this? Yes. I've been using them. I know, literally. That's all you get. That's all you get.
Starting point is 00:14:58 That's literally all you get. I love the Drewmojis. Drewmoji coming soon, y'all. I literally have it on my phone and I keep texting it. At the end of Orion's birthday, text I sent one. That's the best one. That's my favorite one. Guys, Drewmoji is in beta testing right now. It may never see the light of day.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I don't know. If y'all want it bad enough, I may release it. But I don't think y'all care. You just want people to beg for it? I don't know if y'all want it bad enough i may i may release it but i don't think you just want people to beg for it i don't think anybody cares honestly i have a bone to pick with people who sit on their phone okay you have a boner you have a boner like to pick out of your wedgie kai threatened to give me a wedgie today and you come back please come please come back and yeah it's not the same without you
Starting point is 00:15:47 it's actually not even close to the same it's completely different the whole dynamic changes um i don't fuck with people who do parallel play on your fucking iphones with me and you laugh and you don't go to show me what the fuck you laughed at and you you wait for me to be like what what what i hate i hate asking what it dehumanizes me like it literally made me ask what i've done that before i've done that before not like intentionally but after the fact i'm like why didn't i just show like i could have just shown but i feel like that's a universal like experience of being the person to be No, I'm a sharer. Being the person to be like, what? I'm a sharer of my laughter. If I laugh at something out loud on my phone,
Starting point is 00:16:28 I immediately run to go show somebody because I'm like, this laughter must be shared. But that's just me. I'm just empathetic. And I'm like, I have that in my DNA. Also, this light being on is really freaking me out. I just realized it and it's freaking me out. Do you want me to turn it off?
Starting point is 00:16:42 Yeah. I like the control of it all. Now it's freaking me out. Do you want me to turn it off? Yeah. I like the control of it all. Like I like, I like. Now it's weird. I like people begging me for more. Like they want, they want to see. You've worn this outfit for three days in a row. And it's been a hundred, it's been a hundred degrees every day.
Starting point is 00:17:00 So I know his ass stings. I can't even get on you though. I wore the same outfit for like four days but i washed it because i have some self-respect but i've been wearing these shorts for two weeks ew i know they have like a layer of mildew like just on them they i'm not gonna lie i wear them and i get itchy i feel like i have to wash them because there's like kai i'm just kidding about that last part no No, that sounded too real. It sounded like too real.
Starting point is 00:17:27 But that's kind of masculine to wear the same thing over and over again. No, that's like the worst part about men. Not really care. But isn't it cool when guys don't care and they smell shit? Men's hygiene is actually so fucking repulsive. Like having to tell a man to shower before touching you is like the craziest experience a woman ever has to endure. And that's like a common experience like most women have experienced at least once and then having to get in the back and forth of like yeah you know like i don't want you to fuck up my ph
Starting point is 00:17:53 so can you please just do it it's like oh my god well no woman has ever had to have that conversation with me well you've had sex maybe three times in your life so i'm sure you were really prepared for it yes i was prepared for all four times and i had my male douche on the ready sorry drew i'm scared i'm with kai too long oh now this outfit isn't enough this is too much much now. Where the fuck did you get them? You just got back from Burning Man. Where did you get these tights? I've had them forever. I love them. Okay, so every fucking outfit I put on is a fucking problem with y'all.
Starting point is 00:18:39 You know that this one's ridiculous. This one is good. This one is eating and y'all know it well i'm i'm trend forecasting i think i'm gonna like be ahead of the bring those back yeah like the girls that listen to like crystal castles like snow strippers are gonna be wearing these yeah i actually see that oh there's a huge galaxy on your left butt cheek why are you looking at my ass i don't know i should reevaluate yeah i'm calling hr which again to remind you is me where did you get these that's all i could think about are they off amazon
Starting point is 00:19:11 when uh like three weeks ago i've been meaning to wear them as a bit but like i always forget and then we did like the hotel room episode and then we had other bits planned so wow they're like actually kind of amazing me i just don't feel like they should be on like this image should be i feel like these are illegal for some reason i don't know why it feels like for some reason they have lead in them like they just yeah they do you know how you see old like plates and you're like i just know that has lead in it that's how I feel about stuff like this. They literally did. Because this kind of vibrant pattern shouldn't be able to be overlaid onto clothing.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Oh, well, I almost got fucking murdered last night, if anybody cares. No one cares. No one gives a fuck. Literally, no one gives a fuck. I was merging onto the fucking highway. I'm just going to still say it because y'all are being fucking mean and I don't care. I'm used to it. I'm used to men being mean. used to, like, men being mean.
Starting point is 00:20:05 I care, actually. I care. Drew does not speak for both men. The thing is, there's no winning with me because if both of y'all did the bit you did, would you be like, oh, my God, I, like, want to protect women? That would piss me off, too. Like, there's no winning. I just want y'all to, like, be normal.
Starting point is 00:20:19 But I was merging onto the fucking highway last night and I didn't put my blinker on. Girls driving, am I right? That's going to get clipped and we're cooked. It's actually cooked for us. I'm over. I'm so over. Doing that in those funky ass tights is also crazy. It's actually cooked for us I'm over I'm so over You doing that in those funky ass tights is also crazy
Starting point is 00:20:48 Bro no I'm dead serious I'm wearing these like not as a fucking thing I'm wearing these like Dude also your socks being under them is what's making it worse to me Is it supposed to be over? Like when you wear tights you're supposed to put your socks over your fucking tights Like it's so weird that they're just like under there. Oh, your capris.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Oh, I guess as a capri. You know what's crazy? As a capri, it's not too bad. Like as a capri, I can almost get. I have to sit a certain way, by the way, guys. So that your fucking weiner. Giant penis. Giant.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Anyways, I wanted to tell you about this last night but i was like oh is this where you podcast i like was quickly turning because it was a stupid fucking section in la that like all the highways here suck balls because they're like the first like experiments in america of highways so all of the entryways suck balls i hit my blinker for the first next to um what's that fucking dumpling spot no no it's not like in highland park this one is like uh you turn off of like vermont or something it's like how are you in vermont but in la kai did i eat yeah you ate that whatever i had to do a quick double turn to get onto the fucking highway and there was this
Starting point is 00:22:14 like funky ass fucking car that was gonna turn too and we were both turning at the same time there was a car that was on my ass and i was like fuck dude i can't hit my brakes and let this guy go also this guy was moving hella slow because i think he saw my car start to turn so i was like oh he's gonna give me the right away so then i start to turn and then he speeds up and i was like oh now we're fucking fighting so bitch i sped up and i just like cut in front and mind you this was not on purpose it was a common miscommunication i was like oh that's so embarrassing but i just had this sinking feeling i was like the motherfucker who i just cut off i can tell is crazy oh it was a car make and model and the foggy ass headlights growing up in miami i see that car they're yellowing yeah they're
Starting point is 00:22:56 yellowing i was like i see that car i run so i already i know wait you have to say which car because it's everybody like it's a nissima. No, no, no, no. It's not Nissan Altima. This one feels very Miami. Mind you, my family drives this car. So maybe like I have like a bias against this because like someone in my family has this car and they are awful driver. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:23:14 It's like an old Chevy like Escalade, but it was like from 2008. Oh, like the big. Yeah. And it's like it reminded me of like this one family member I have where they keep this car very clean, but they can't, they never change the headlights. And I was like, I already know your vibe. Like, I just have a feeling. I was like, I have a feeling the motherfucker behind me is crazy.
Starting point is 00:23:33 So literally before he even got a chance to do what he did, and I knew he was going to do this because he just gave me ooky spooky vibes. I was driving on the highway and literally he, i see him speeding around to get next to me and i started like before i even saw that i was already putting my seat back so i literally was like i don't want him to see me i i was genuinely convinced he was gonna shoot me bro that's my biggest fucking fear so i literally like put my seat down and i was on the highway like this so if you looked in the mirror you couldn't see anybody who's driving so confused literally but he's fucking crazy he stood he like mind you we're on the fucking highway he has slowed down i'm going like the normal like uh speed which nobody does in la so i think the speed limit on
Starting point is 00:24:18 that highway is like 55 miles per hour i'm doing 55 everybody else does fucking 70 so i am technically going way too slow to be on the highway and he is speeding around the other cars drives up next to me and stays next to me for a solid minute and i was literally just like i'm not gonna look i was like i'm literally just not gonna look and he stayed next to me for so long and i was like i feel like if i lifted up my head right now he would shoot me like literally, I just like had this gut feeling and then he just like honked and sped off and then slowed down again. And I was like, bitch, fuck you. And I just got off the highway
Starting point is 00:24:51 because I was like, you're not going to kill me right now. Like I'm not getting killed by your fucking funky ass. What lesson did we learn? Nothing. I didn't learn anything. I learned people are fucking crazy and you need a fucking therapist if something's fucking wrong with you.
Starting point is 00:25:02 Actually, you don't need a therapist. Road rage? Your knee's broken. No, literally literally road rage is like the most terrifying thing ever and anytime inya is an is a very aggressive driver she is not passive at all she does she owns the fucking road it's her road and i respect it whatever but every time we're in that goddamn car i literally have like vivid like like almost like that's so raven-esque like visions of like the people that you cut off or like get in front of or whip around or like honk out or whatever like them like pulling up and shooting me in the fucking head to be fair that makes it seem like
Starting point is 00:25:35 i'm a bad driver i'm a very good driver guys never gotten into any car crashes Why does your car have a dent? Okay, a valet driver fucked my fucking car up. I have a bone to pick with the valet. And we're going to have to bleep that because I go there often enough that I don't want to get in trouble. But I think they fucked my fucking car up. They did. I was dropping off a friend at the airport and I got out of the car to help them with the bags. Somebody fucked my car up and I look outside and there's a dent on my passenger door and i'm like that's fucking funny because if it's i who did it i would have documented it and laughed about it
Starting point is 00:26:10 even but i didn't do that so who the fuck did that and it really made me actually sad i was like sick to my stomach when i saw that because there's one thing for me to fuck my car up but to get it i like i felt so violated and i was like oh my god they need to like do something with cars like i i i hate that my car can't tell me what happened to her like who did this to you like she can't just be like i was i was hit today like she can't be like i was hurt someone hurt me my car can your car could blow up i like can we manifest this guys i think if we literally all get together and manifest my car exploding with me inside, but I don't die. I just lose my arm or something.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Would you rather lose an arm or a leg? Leg. Leg. Leg as well. Yeah. I've got three of them. I can spare one. Oh, because you're a huge fucking dick.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Ew, I hate the D word. Sorry. because you're a huge fucking dick. Yeah. Ew, I hate the D word. Sorry. The D word and the V word. We also went to the Claro concert, which was iconic. There was an interaction we had before the concert that literally, like, like, sent me into, like, a psychosis for, like, until I fell asleep and woke up the next day.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Like, and you needed a puff bar before the concert. Oh, i needed a puff bar it was all on me yeah it literally was yeah okay it literally was i don't know why we're looking at each other it literally was you okay right um well we pull up to this vape shop, and we are going inside, and Enya gets catcalled by a young teenager, and Enya's like, thank you. Like, oh, my God. Like, thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Okay, that was not my reaction. It literally was, and I was genuinely so shocked. You were like, you were like oh thank you okay i will say i was really nice and when young guys who were around like 1920 he because i felt like he was being like it felt like he was genuinely shocked by my beauty and when i feel that i'm like oh you're actually being nice when i mean we always say is when like like some people do in a really creepy way where they're like like it always starts with like oh my god like it's always like this weird like back of the throat cat call where i'm like you're the killer you're gonna kill me um but so i'm like yo chill chill chill chill like i like very nonchalantly i'm like chill like you gotta chill
Starting point is 00:28:43 bro and i took up for my queen like i literally like protected her and like it was a vibe right like yeah i like had your back i was i was a bit shocked i had your back when i heard you go like i will say like i accepted the interaction but he was a very heightened person so that adds on to it like i feel like girls know how to navigate those things of like i was just like oh thank you so much like because he was being nice because he did he wasn't like you're sexy he was like oh my god you're gorgeous or he said he said like you're beautiful so i was like okay i can take that compliment that's a nicer compliment than being like you're hot fuck like when it's that i'm like oh my god like please leave me alone but he as they were driving
Starting point is 00:29:21 away he put down his window and kept talking and And then that's when Drew was like, chill, chill, chill. And then, so we, like, go inside. And that interaction was, like, enough to, like, put me on edge. Because I was like, oh, my God. Like, what if, like, he, like, comes inside and beats the shit out of me. And, like, I have to, like, live with that. And I actually have to fight for my girl's honor, like, period. And my, like, queen.
Starting point is 00:29:42 In those pants. Yeah. like period my like queen um in those pants yeah um so uh they're still backing out and like they just stop after that and they're just like waiting there and i'm like oh my god like this is it like realize they had some yes they stopped fully and i was like oh my god and drew was like still like kind of jarred and i was like oh because i wasn't like i wasn't able to like hear any conversations you were like saying at me like i felt bad because i like literally couldn't respond because i was literally like okay like what am i gonna have to do like it like da da da da da like if this actually goes down and i start like spiraling like this like fight is gonna happen and like i'm such a fucking pussy
Starting point is 00:30:18 like i'm a little bitch like i can't fight like look at my fucking tiny little my baby little tiny little tiny little wrists like they're so small and petite. Like, do you think these could throw punches? Like, no. Let me see. I'm so small. Oh, yeah, they can. They can throw punches.
Starting point is 00:30:35 What? No, they can't. Yeah, you're good. Oh, my fucking God. Dude, we were sitting in bed and we were like i was like the most fucked up thing ed twitter and all these things like guys literally that shit makes no sense stop fucking watching with these like the weird like i don't know if you ever saw for girls like the headphone trend of like putting your headphone over your waist and i i still i don't understand what the
Starting point is 00:31:01 point of it was like i don't understand at one point is it like oh my god you're so skinny like because it's just you're putting fucking headphones on your stomach like i don't understand and it's like that trend and then the wrist touching trend of girls being like my wrist like girl no you were very frail and if you pulled open a steel door your fucking hand would be attached to the door would break off but whatever but we were sitting in bed and i was like imagine how fucked up it would be if like some evil motherfucker went up to girls who she was meeting she was like oh my god and like went to grab their hand and would like go like this like oh never mind like never mind oh my god wow oh fuck you're huge you're ginormous that's literally what watching my tiktok timeline feels like of like people
Starting point is 00:31:45 always having a comment today where i'm like i've never looked at myself like that wow okay um so like i see them stopped and like inya and i are like trying to have a conversation but i literally cannot engage because i'm literally like okay like i what i'm gonna do like if something goes down like i'm gonna jump over the counter and grab a fucking galaxy gas container and beat the shit out of this guy with a galaxy gas container because container because my fucking baby little hands like they're not throwing punches like this is me fighting in these i'm imagining this interaction happening in this yeah it would be so fried for me but anyways um he stopped there
Starting point is 00:32:26 and i'm still thinking and he's like telling me a story and i'm like i'm sorry i'm literally not listening i'm like actually terrified right now and then this the fucking kid or i keep calling him a kid he was like a grown-ass man yeah he had been like 21 yeah he like runs out of the car and is like really sketchy in the store and i'm like oh my god like i'm actually definitely on something because he comes he's like yo do you still have my tab open oh i need a lighter i and is like really sketchy in the store. And I'm like, oh my God, like I'm actually- Yeah, he was definitely on something because he comes and he's like, yo, do you still have my tab open? Oh, I need a lighter.
Starting point is 00:32:48 I forgot a lighter. And it's like kind of like bouncing around. Like tweaking out. And me and Drew are now like- Oh my God, this is actually happening. Like I'm actually gonna have to beat this guy up to defend my queen's honor. And he really showed you
Starting point is 00:32:58 because he skipped you in line. I know, he fucking bodied me. He literally mogged all over me because Enya like bought her uh vape and I was like about to buy a pack of chips hello um and a pack of chips yeah a pack of chips you're buying your candy that would knock you out later that night exactly exactly um and the guy like cuts in front of me and like does this whole interaction i'm like honestly i'm gonna let him do this shit because like i'm not gonna check him twice because two strikes i'm out like he's gonna
Starting point is 00:33:29 fucking kill me um and then he just was super sketchy and weird and ran out of the store but that interaction like actually put me into fight or flight for the rest of the night like i like was really trying fucking very hard it made us both feel really weird because i already had like a really anxious driven day and on the way to the vape shop i was already tweaking and like feeling very overwhelmed then we had that happen and like me and drew have this bad habit of like if one of us is feeling one way we absorb the other person's like energy and then we both become like this synthesis of like awful energy oh my god then i did something so embarrassed that i like embarrassing that i can't say like in front of the venue i can't
Starting point is 00:34:12 wait what no nothing no i like did something that was so embarrassing and rain was there to witness it the gum no not the gum thing no it's nothing it's nothing it doesn't matter it just embarrassed me i think you know i know what you're talking about i know what you're talking about girl i was like is she fucking okay um no yeah it was a really odd scenario but then we saw the concert and the concert was fucking awesome and then movie yeah that was a good button to try to resolve that feeling but i still felt crazy all fucking night. And I felt so scared. I literally felt scared.
Starting point is 00:34:49 And then I saw a video of me running and I was like, I look scared. It is such a good video. She like rolls her eyes at either me or rain and then darts off up the stairs. And it's like literally the funniest video I've ever seen. You got to like watch it frame by frame though to get the full to get the full effect to get the full effect but yeah that was our night and it was really scary and i'm scared but the concert was fucking lit like claire yeah i mean by the time this is out we'll know if i went again d strikes you're out. Well, shit. I want to talk about something that I've just been thinking about for a couple weeks. And I've been working through mentally.
Starting point is 00:35:34 And it is Drew's obsession that he alluded to earlier of control. And how he is constantly manipulating me and fucking up my life. Yes. And has such an omnipresent level of this control that i actually can't escape from yes because when i was flying home from visiting my parents i was flying out of a very small rural airport you don't have to bring this up i do have to bring this up because people need to know no people don't need to know this aspect of our life like people don't really like people don't need to know this i'm gonna bring this up because people need to know no people don't need to know this aspect of our life like people don't really like people don't need to know this i'm gonna bring it up
Starting point is 00:36:08 because people do need to know and what the fuck are y'all talking okay well i'm just literally gonna edit it out no you're not because i control the file whatever if i can say it whatever i was getting on a plane a very small plane that like there were maybe like 30 people on and i get a text okay i get a text as i am walking down the hallway like you know you're like walking down between the seats to get to your seat actually the aisle not the hallway the aisle i am so sorry i get like embarrassing there's not a hallway in the plane like oh i get a text of me from an unknown number and it's a photo of me from 10 seconds prior wait an unknown number yes and actually we're gonna cut for one second because i'm gonna pull it up you have to cut this shit fucking out now like i'm dead serious because
Starting point is 00:36:59 if this shit gets out like it'll actually be like a fucking thing. Dude, I have their eye line with Drew's fucking butt right now. Don't be afraid. It's going to come out at some point. If you say this, I'll slap the shit out of you. Again. Ew, Drew, you look really fucked up. Well, let's keep in mind, Kai has suffered from depression for a long time so if he suddenly dies nothing to do with us exactly we tried to help him you guys are very lucky that that's the case
Starting point is 00:37:33 um okay i'm walking down the fucking aisle of the plane and i get a text and i'm gonna insert it here because it's very fucking scary and chilling and it says i'm just proud of you i want you to know that and it's from a number that is actually an unknown number but it's from the area code where i was born and my hometown okay like that's not that i think that that's yeah that's like a local friend yeah yeah like a high school friend i don't know the number okay so i ask questions i say who are you tell me now he says can you feel me i can feel sorry i'm like thinking back on this i'm so scared oh my god i was a little bit freaked out because i only got like three hours of sleep before but he said i can feel you
Starting point is 00:38:15 and then i said reveal yourself and then he sent me this photo which was really fucking scary and disabled okay wait did you see that and could you recognize who it was or no i didn't i couldn't i don't know why this is funny because this has i don't know why this involves me nothing to do with drew that's not drew well that will be revealed in a moment and then i started asking more questions and they said just wish we could have met under different circumstances. I think you would have liked me. And then started sending me weird photos of like prosthetics, facial reconstruction surgery.
Starting point is 00:38:57 And then he said, goodbye, Kai guy with like a sad emoji. And then for the rest of the flight, I was in hell emotionally. Wait, did you actually never realize through the flight who it was no because i was afraid to turn around what's fucked up is i fully know about this like and the second it started drew showed me and i was like dude that is so fucking funny i was genuinely like if i turn around i'm gonna make eye contact with i guess that is kind of terrifying stop at least it wasn't this guy girl that's me as walter white bro like okay like you have to you have to understand that i give in that photo like i'm giving body body is tino
Starting point is 00:39:38 oh my god why does it look like it's like why are we laughing it looks good it looks like eerie also why is your nipple hair do that on that it's like a target i don't okay so did you ever find out who yes i found out who it was long story short i got out of the uh airport and it was casey and i walked up to him and he like, he was just staring straight ahead. And I was like, it was you. It was you all along. And then we like talked about it and he was like, yeah, Drew put me up to this.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Drew is constantly trying to like fuck with you. Well, you have to read our text messages. Oh yeah. I was texting you and you said, I can't find it, but something along the lines of i have eyes everywhere yeah i was like i'm omnipresent like just know everywhere you go i go like i follow um and just you can't get anything by on me like i i know everything that you do every movement you make i'm always being watched by daddy and that's crazy or by drew sorry no i love control i love control even said consciously i love control consciously
Starting point is 00:40:52 said consciously it's all about perspective y'all are tweaks i can't think of any time i've been on a flight with somebody who i like vaguely knew or like was like a mutual friend or anything me and flavor flay like we go way back we were oh yeah we were on the same flight together i forgot um well um i haven't like well i brought up like uh i don't know if i brought this up but there's like a new tick that just dropped that causes meat allergies so like if you eat meat you get allergic to it you're still on that shit bro like shut up bringing up the meat tick like you're not gay look at your fit you don't exactly i'm not gay so you don't need the meat tick so why do you bring up the meat tick i just didn't know i brought it up before damn you did because you humiliated me publicly because you brought it up and i was like
Starting point is 00:41:49 like i didn't do the bit with you and i will never do the bit with you i just want that picture of you on a fucking billboard i literally if i could get it up have you seen this man yeah if i could get it up there i would hold on let me go grab my phone oh my god yeah let's just take a little break let's center ourselves i'm trying so hard to just you know help the vibes of the show you're scaring me okay i'm back um well i think google needs to stop doing those fucking drawn banners they are so fucking tired like when i go to google something and it's like it's a s'mores like it's google the word but it's a s'mores cake like literally you're so tired do you know what i mean when google like will be
Starting point is 00:42:37 celebrating something oh at the very top yes and it does like a funky like okay like what the fuck does this have to do with anything? It's the day this s'mores was invented It's National S'mores Day at Google like fuck you bitch It reminds me of like when apps will be like like Duolingo I had to delete it off my fucking phone because it like actually I don't even think I deleted it Yeah, I saved it for this it made the bird sick and I was the idiot It was like why is the Duolingo bird sick on my phone?
Starting point is 00:43:06 Like, fuck you. It's so tired. Stop fucking changing things. You're so tired. Like, I hate you. I hate you. I don't want to see it anymore. That's it.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Oh, fuck. Email rage. I didn't. Yeah. Do you listen to Fiona Apple? No, no, no, no, no. Beat the shit out of him. Oh my God, Enya, that's too much.
Starting point is 00:43:40 But you had the banners, guys. Enough with the banners. Enough, enough, enough. Well, getting off your phone, I realize how we all are always like, oh, I wish I could go back. I wish I could go back in time. Just get off your phone.
Starting point is 00:43:55 Did you see that TikTok? Life feels like 2005 when you get off your phone. I don't think it does. Because I'd be seeing those Waymo cars and i'm like this is not 2005 i feel the same way as soon as i see like a pile of lime scooters that are like on fire i'm like no it's 2024 okay well we talked about it in the beginning of the podcast but we didn't really talk about it nicocado avocado um guys you're serving like tea spill session um guys i'm scared i'm really scared um okay so like i thought we were all under the impression and extent he went to to like convince us
Starting point is 00:44:50 or like live inside of the bit was really jarring and like um honestly fucking i respect the shit out of his commitment to it all because like that's like even better like that's taking it even further than someone like even andy kaufman or something like that like that whole shit was crazy but like i've been seeing like what if like he record pre-recorded all of these videos for the last two years and released them slowly over two years and then he did a slow weight loss because like there's no way someone could lose that much weight in seven months and not have like loose skin that's just like physically not possible so like there that's a theory but also people are now saying like what if like he um what if he pre-recorded these videos of him tiny before all of the weight gain, and then he's releasing them now.
Starting point is 00:45:52 I don't know. There's lots to think about here, y'all. Let's dive in, should we? The thing is, when he was doing the things with his boyfriend, of fighting with his boyfriend, we always were like, this is a crazy bit, but it's kind of funny like it's an interesting idea because obviously nobody who's actually fighting with a partner would publicize that so we always thought it was fake but i will say when he like gained all that weight i was like damn maybe he kind of is descending into madness but there is
Starting point is 00:46:20 like there was always a level where i'm like he's playing up this character like everybody already thinks he's crazy because like he went from being vegan to doing this and like whatever so it's like an easy bit to play a part of yes so i always thought it was a bit but there was part of me that was like damn there might be something actually a little off about him but we always assumed it was a bit and then when he stopped doing the videos i always just thought he stopped doing it because like he was bored like he just made all the money he wanted to make and he dipped and then um he like also what convinced me for a little bit that it wasn't a bit and like even if it was a bit the whole time this is like not a bit like yeah he started doing of content um and like posting like nudes and sex and shit i just
Starting point is 00:47:07 can't stop pissing i just can't stop coming i really just i just cannot stop coming that i think yeah that was the point where we were like okay maybe it's not a bit because like to commit that far like the it's gone past a bit like you were literally diving into something fucking respect and also like even if it wasn't a bit the whole time to come back seven months later and be like it was all a bit guys gotcha even if it wasn't it's also hyper like intelligent i don't know the whole thing is exciting and like i really hope his next steps forward are like either him slowly over time gaining weight again, or like him being like captive, like held captive.
Starting point is 00:47:47 And it's like, he's been forced. Yeah. Marina Joyce thing. Real? No, no. That was like mass internet hysteria.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Like this girl just like rotted her brain with Molly and was just like a little weird. And like, everybody thought she was held captive, but the Marina Joyce era of the internet, like what a time to be alive. What a time. It was literally so insane.
Starting point is 00:48:08 I also just love saying Marina Joyce. Marina Joyce. We should definitely look into make sure that I feel like you would know. Yeah, I looked. I looked into it. And she posts TikTok still to this day. Like I found her TikTok account like a couple of weeks ago. There's nothing better than finding like a fallen soldier of the
Starting point is 00:48:25 internet like of just like finding them again and being like whoa like what are you up to and like it's so interesting all the different paths like for some reason the religious path is a big path for like former like internet scientology is mine people scientology is mine you need to stop saying that because i want no part of that like i don't want to be a part of that period all right i'll keep it to myself just religious prosecution oh i realized i have a shirt that has you on it wait let me oh is that not just drew wait let me see that's me if I got a haircut.
Starting point is 00:49:05 You in the big ass hat. I was like making TikToks last night and then I literally took it off because I was like, I know the comments are going to be like, why do you have Drew on your shirt? I mean, you are my biggest fan. It's actually like an 18th century writer.
Starting point is 00:49:20 So get fucking educated. That is fucking dust. I mean, yeah. Really dead. Nothing left of this. Really dead. Do bodies like fall apart in a coffin? Yeah, they turn to literal like fucking soil.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Ew. Except the teeth. The teeth stay, I think. Teeth and bones? Do bones stay? No, bones don't stay. Bones like wither, right? I don't fucking know. Also, your hair
Starting point is 00:49:45 continues to grow after you die. Perr. And your nails. So like dead bodies that are exhumed like seven months later, their hair is longer, their nails are like super long and scary. Cunty. Yeah, and they're really skinny. Keeping the cunt alive. Yeah. And they're
Starting point is 00:50:01 super skinny and tiny. I may pass but my cunt never will i think when i die i want to donate my box to me science yeah yeah when i die i want to donate my penis to science i'm not i'm not an organ donor is that like a problematic thing like i don't believe in being an organ donor i'm an organ donor and I regret it. Low key. If I'm on my deathbed, they're going to like fucking just let me die. They're not going to try.
Starting point is 00:50:31 They're not going to try to resuscitate me. They're like, oh, well, we need that kidney. Yeah, we need that kidney. Give me that kidney. Give me that damn kidney. Give me that damn bit sending colon. I feel like that could be like seen as like very selfish, but I just don't want bitches digging around my body.
Starting point is 00:50:48 Also to be, I'm not treating this body very well. So like, I don't think that's what I was thinking. I was like, bitch, you're not getting my lungs. You're definitely not getting my like intestines.
Starting point is 00:50:56 Like, obviously you're not getting my stomach. Like my kidneys have been like fucking ran through. You're just going to be poking around to be like, I don't want this. I know. Like they're probably full of stones right now. Should I call Timothy Chalamet?
Starting point is 00:51:12 I'm going to call Timothy real quick. I've been thinking, you know what? I think you're going to call Timothy Chalamet. Okay. If he doesn't answer this is gonna be so timothy hey hey timothy we're recording on the podcast right now i'm just like proving that i am on like a phone call basis with timothy chalamet i know it's weird oh hey um uh yeah What's up, bro?
Starting point is 00:51:45 What are you doing? I'm filming the movie right now. Just got out the set, actually. The Bob Dylan one? Yeah, we were filming a few pickups for it. Just kind of wrapping things up. You want to come over? Oh, baby, I wish I could, but...
Starting point is 00:52:07 Don't call me that on here. Sorry, I wish I could, but I got to go to Paris tomorrow. Can I come? Yeah, sure. Oh, you got other bitches. Yeah, sure. It's not like, huh? You got other bitches and hoes.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Oh, come over to new jersey hop on the pj we'll get over there all right babe oh well i'll see you later okay okay call me tonight you call me how about that it's always me calling okay okay all right bye all right bye but see i'm telling y'all dude what's fucked up is i've seen people like in our comments be like i'm actually so confused with the famous people they do know and they don't know because every now and then i see like pictures of them with somebody so then i'm like oh wait maybe they are friends with these people
Starting point is 00:53:04 like it is also, why are you moving into the territory of saying that you and Timothy are a thing? Like, that's kind of weird. I'm not that he is. He is. I'm not like,
Starting point is 00:53:16 I didn't say shit. He was the one that called me babe. And I like, I'm not shit. Very weird. Like sounded so much like Josie. And then when he understood, I was like,
Starting point is 00:53:24 Oh, like, Oh, hello. Oh, also it like sounded so much like josie and then when he understood i was like like oh hello well i think what i need to do to clear my mind i was thinking about it i was like maybe i need to go on a camping trip and go fishing like fishing has to be a part of it but then i started thinking about it yeah but then i started thinking about it i was like fishing is actually so fucked up like i don't think fish have the capacity to keep memory space like this but fishing to me feels equivalent of like if i'm driving down the road and i see somebody running and i sped up and then slam my brakes right in front of them so i just let them think for like three seconds of their life they were gonna fully die and then was like i'm kidding
Starting point is 00:54:04 like keep running like you keep running that's what fishing feels like to me like fish like like moving around for their life in a net and then like picking them up and being like so gorgeous go back like no it's like um you gotta like he who has the pearls controls the masses me when i'm in the pearl shop on that one app filter on tiktok oh yeah me when i'm sophie and it's covered in oil um no i love fishing last time i went fly fishing though um in an alpine lake i got out of the water and my ankles and feet were covered in leeches. Literal leeches.
Starting point is 00:54:48 Are leeches deadly? That's like a quicksand thing to me as a kid where I always thought leeches were deadly, but they're not deadly. They're not deadly. Are eels deadly? I feel like eels might be. Like if there's like 5,000 eels like all shocking you at the same time. Isn't that fucking crazy that there's a fish that can just like make electricity with our body? I mean, everything is electricity,
Starting point is 00:55:06 everything is wavelengths, everything is pulses. Like everything is light. If everything was pulses, I'd be a lot happier. Ay! But yeah, it was covered in leeches and I peeled them off one by one and I thought it was gonna hurt so bad, but really all it did was give me like the heebie-jeebies like it didn't hurt at all and my blood was like leaking out like it made like
Starting point is 00:55:31 little small perforations they're like fucking like like uh evolution what you're sitting oh i can't do shit around y'all. They're like evolutionary. Fuck y'all. Stop. I'm not making fun of you. I think I look good right now. Like in my outfit. I've been drinking a lot of potassium.
Starting point is 00:56:03 I love potassium y'all. If you want to de-bloat, drink potassium. it might be a guy yeah i don't think it's doing anything for me no it works y'all i swear it works i haven't noticed any effects honestly no no on me sorry no you look good on me on me i i really meant for me because we're both doing it oh my god well i think i'm just gonna get into media yeah you should just go because he's gonna have like a fit you know that i was talking about me right bitch i don't want to talk to you we've it's really freaking true oh he's hitting himself drew psyop uh if your butt stinks through your jeans you need to go to the hospital that's all i got today y'all that's honestly a banger um well my media of the week is honestly just dance by justice that's it
Starting point is 00:57:18 that music video when i was a child i was like wow and now watching him like bro that's it that's like the pains of growing up i guess you just like aren't as amazed with anything okay poop um big poop uh it's just like poop and stuff i'm'm going to like, I wish I could grab your hat and pull it so far down you disappear into it. And then I would flush the hat down the toilet. Oh my God. I like Amoeba by Claro. I've been listening to that. The live rendition of that was so good.
Starting point is 00:58:00 I mean, by the time this comes out, she won't be in LA anymore. But if she's going to your city, you should really figure a way figure it out but i think it's a sold-out tourist actually now i feel mean for being make it work make it work um ego baby by blade belfast orbital and give me head DJ Clint. Okay. Oh, actually, the rest of my media is still Abandoned Luncheonette by Hall & Oates. Such a good album. And I used to be like the last three songs on this album suck ass,
Starting point is 00:58:43 but I have listened to the that album so much in the past year that it has just become they're good songs to me even though i know when i first heard them i was like these songs are redonkulous now they're so good they're bangers yeah now i like i have like such a deep connection to them and you've been listening to the beatles a lot all day every day you love the beatles now. No, the fuck I haven't. I still haven't listened to, other than Abbey Road, I haven't listened to a full Beatles album all the way through.
Starting point is 00:59:13 I need to get a CD and just start listening. Try. Try, try, try. Guys, we know this. I came around the corner and I'm like, the Beatles are chill. We're cool. We'll around the corner and I'm like, the Beatles are chill. Like, we're cool. We'll let it slide. We'll let it slide.
Starting point is 00:59:28 And you will let the Beatles slide. Well. Fuck me, man. We'll fly. Jesus Christ. Holy shit. Outro Music

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