Emergency Intercom - ky is drews hag

Episode Date: July 31, 2025

Enya thinks Drew has the vibe of someone who killed someone last night and ky is drews hagSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hey, welcome back to this episode of emergency. Hey, welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom, everybody. I haven't said that in a long time. Every time we sit down It feels like we haven't sat here For like two months But it's because

What a difference A weak mate And it's a new space We're getting used to her We tried to record earlier y'all It's a her? Yeah we tried I don't know if I would say that

About this space This space is a boy I mean with what's happening On this side That's a man This is like No this is like a girl Who needs help

But like This is what's that one fucking movie girl interrupted as a wall yeah this is girl interrupted no this is that picture that you can't like point out a discernible item in oh didn't even show pie what was making me cry laugh the schizophrenia picture um of you no but we should give some context so we went on a voyeuristic celebrity home tour I know naughty but my dad is like obsessed with that shit and my dad is the ultimate tourist like we do it every fucking time and it's the same houses every time but like he eats it up so we were like fuck it like let's do it yeah y'all have done it like three four times four times four times and like

we literally drive by this drive by this four times yes we drive by the same houses and every single time it's a different fucking person that's lived in that house like the only one that they've kept the same is the michael jackson one and it's because everybody knows that goddamn house from the helicopters yeah but like also he gave us like a little secret a little tip but he was like by the way I shouldn't be saying this, but there's no dogs there. Of the 10 years I've been driving by this house, no one's heard a dog bark. And I was like, okay, cool, I'm going to hit a stain and I'm going to blame you. I'm going to hit a lick.

I'm going to slime them out. I'm going to swish cheese then. That last one. What was that? What? The last one wasn't real. Swiss cheese? I have heard that.

No, it's like, I'm going to swish cheese. You put bullet holes in you. I don't know, stuff like that. But so we did this like voyeuristic celebrity home tour. And it was amazing. It was so goaded. I feel like I need that guy to pick us up with the van cut in half right now. And it would make me so happy.

It feels like flying. It literally feels like flat through L.A. You're flying through not a care in the world until he kind of slows down in front of a house. And then he's like, so and so lives here. And then it sucks you back to reality in the situation that you're in. And it's like, oh my God, we just paid someone to take us in an Uber ride around people's houses. To stalk people. And it's so fun.

And then you like drive up and down Mahaland. and everyone is pissed at you and flipping you off and it just like really, really like makes you feel so bad. It's so crazy because in that moment I was infinite and I didn't think about anybody else. Oh, like no one else. The video. Oh, I mean, no, this, in this moment you're not infinite.

You're like losing it. No, I was. Maybe you are infinite and like a really. I didn't know Enia was recording me. Had no idea. And we were in the Uber ride back from the Celebrity Home Tour. Dude, you can't speed this up, Kai. Like, you have to leave it for the full.

And this was my vibe. I was pilling through, like, different conversation topics I could have, and this is the one I landed on. I mean, when I move it to show his full face, so yeah. And I remember the other conversations. Like, he has no idea. I remember the other conversation I was going to bring up to. No, watch. I love when he closes his eyes.

Like his final bursts of thought. Ring glass. There's like 20 minutes on the bus where it was the best I've ever felt in the last 10 years. And I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. 20 minutes on that bus? That was, I think, the most vulnerable videos I've ever seen. That was the video that, like, four nights ago, I think I have audio messages of me crying, laughing.

It was crying laughing. It was making me, like, and also, I have a lot of videos like that because I do love recording my friends when they're not looking because I think I'm going to scare them, but I guess I'm just such a silent and good at being sneaky soul that usually I just get videos of people looking really, really like, like, just like not crazy. because you don't crazy and that it's just like no one should have been looking at you yeah no I was like in my own world back there I was infinite um no that was very genuine I was like holy shit like there was a moment where I looked at like my family I looked at my brothers I looked at Inya and Josh and I was like wow like this is what it's all about like it's all about stalking people and I very very clearly um need to be a paparotica see i think that's like my calling in life um but yeah our our driver for that was interesting we like booked with him no he was so funny but he was obsessed with him like i left the five-star review with a selfie if you can find it oh yeah i left a good review we tipped like he was literally goaded oh wait i think i found it it was it was a two hour long ride kai yeah two hours it was two hours from three to five and then we at the whole time he was like we're running late we're running

late like we're so behind because we were in peak fucking traffic in LA like yeah we're going to be running late so I feel like our tour got cut off in half but we were all kind of done because he was like oh we just don't have time we don't have time he kept leaving his mic on and he was like because he wasn't speaking to us but he was like muttering and stressed out and he'd be like maybe if I'm lucky they won't they probably don't even yeah he was like talking about getting us another job like he was like hopefully they're say I get off the bit of a mic being hot And the person not knowing, I'll never get over that.

Yeah, it's so fire. But anyways, we get to Sunset Boulevard where, like, 30 minutes late, and there's, like, gridlock traffic. Like, no one is moving. Like, we're completely stuck in this fucking bus with this man in gridlock traffic. Turns out there was an active shooter right ahead of us. Also, he said that to us over the speaker, and he was like, well, someone in my Slack group, so that means that the Hollywood tour van drivers in L.A. have, like, an underground slack

community where they're just telling each other about crime because he it was true we looked it up after and it was like when i looked it up when he said that and i couldn't find anything and then an hour later it was an active shooter well this is me crying laughing at drew what the fuck was that i think at this point i can't literally get a throw up in that video it looks like the seatbelt is choking the fuck out of true like dude it was literally making me cry I was also asleep dude it was making me laugh so hard

also Drew was like knocked out in bed next to me so I was watching it and then I looked over and it's just him like like knocked out you're just like I had my sleepy girl mocktail which was codeine opium syrup and Jolly Ranchers and a Topo Chico

Made a sleepy girl mocktail Is opium syrup a thing? Like cough syrup It's not like It's not opium It's like hydrocodone syrup or some shit There's really weed brands that make weed

That is supposed to like It's like purple drink It's like it's supposed to be lean And I'm just like what the fuck? I remember being in Florida with you on a tour stop and we went into a smoke shop

and we bought Purple Drink weed syrup. Do you remember that? Did we drink it? No. We were too scared too. Yeah. I do remember Purple Dr. I remember the look of the shop. But also I think we had that era where we would just go into smoke shops and now Smoke shops and sex shops. We used to

just like hang out in them and not buy anything. Yeah. We would leave with something. No, we not in the sex shops we would just go in and laugh and kink shame and now i indulge in all of those kinks on the bottom we weren't making fun of bottoms necessarily but we were making fun of like there's that one i was there's that one shop in um in l.a that has the scale y'aller like what is like oh i didn't even notice that he was looking at you didn't even notice that's crazy i was staring at you

And you were looking at me. Damn. Wow. He's looking at me while you're looking at him. Yeah. And she was looking at you. She was not looking at me. This is challengers.

Are you the blonde one? No. Yeah, you're the blonde one, babe. No, I'm not. You'd be Josh. No, I'm the other one. I am Josh O'Connor. No, you're Josh O'Connor.

That's the shadiest shit you've ever said to me in my life. That's the one that Zendaya says has a big dick. So that's why I would be him. Did she actually say that? I didn't say that. Yeah, yeah. She's like, you have a big dick. Okay, in the movie, though.

Like, not, she stopped going around in person. I thought she was spreading rumors. Going around in person, be like, dude, oh, my God, hugest penis ever. I can not believe that you're not making me Josh O'Connor in this situation. Because we wouldn't be married. Fine, I'm Zendaya. Okay, then I'll be the blonde guy. Yeah, you guys clearly have the, like, successful franchise together.

Yeah, that's us. Like we have a toxic relationship, but my God, do we make it work? We figure it out. Except it's reverse. You're like the first shot where he's asleep on the bed, face now you see his ass. And then Zendaya's like, it's time to get up and play tennis. He's like, fuck. It's reversed.

And he's the one who's on the bed. Yeah, it's time to record the podcast. Yeah, it's time to come to be the podcast. You have all the podcasts up. You've been studying now. It's time to record the podcast. And I like, the reason Inya takes the lead is because I fried my vocal. chords a long time ago.

Doing that really loud laugh. Yeah, that's why I don't laugh anymore. I did see the tallest woman in the world. She can't sit for too long, but she likes traveling. So I think it's like Turkish airways created like essentially a custom seat for her so she can sleep the whole flight or lay flat the whole flight and fly internationally. And it's like her laying across like five airplane seats. It's kind of tea.

Okay, well, I'm also, like, having that issue as well. I'm also having that issue, except when I sit up straight too long, my huge fat pussy collects all of the blood, and then it hurts. It just, like, all drains down right into that. And then I start my period early, and it's a whole thing. So I need that, too, Turkic-Arodite thing. Where does she live? I don't know.

I have a custom seed idea for you, and it's me, and my legs are the back of the chair, and then my face is the seat of the chair. Oh. So then, yeah. What if we just cut a hole in this and you just sit under there? Yeah. And I sit on your face. Mm-hmm.

And I just, ah, that would be crazy me eating your ass during an episode and just seeing how long you could last. That would be crazy. Maybe for a special episode, we could try something like that. Anya said, Drew has the rapport of someone who killed someone last one. And I was thinking about that when I was driving back here. Well, specifically when you're around new people, I think he was acting so weird because your mom was in the room. And, like, drew around new people, he starts to seem like somebody who did something and shouldn't be here. Well, to be fair, my mom did sexually harassed.

Yeah, I got sexually harassed by Kai's mom. Actually, no, it wasn't that. And I'm not spreading that rumor. She was the girl, and I gave her permission. But we walk in. Having to be clear that Kai Newman's mother didn't. sexually assault. Just in case someone clips the wrong seven seconds. She came over to our studio. She wanted to see the studio. So we were like, yeah, come check it out. And she was kind of like being coy a

little bit. Like I knew she wanted a picture, but she didn't want to ask. And I was like, girl, take a picture. And you should sit in the chair while you're at it. And then she was like, okay. And then she was like, actually, what if you sat in the chair and I sat in your lap? And then we got a picture. And we did that. Ultimate Riz. And we did that. And then apparently Kai was your Oh, yeah, I took her to lunch. We went to the diner that you said to go to, and we were in line, and she was, like, so excited about the photo. She was showing people in line. She was like, do you know what emergency intercom is?

No. And they were like, nope, I don't. And she would just be like, I'll just show you anyway. They were like, okay, cool. Can we put that picture on here? Yeah, yeah, I'll insert it here. Yeah, you just have the report. It was actually really fucking scary.

Like, his mom attacking you? Yeah, I was attacked. Whatever. It was weird. When I came in, it was like. like the energy. Can I sit on your lit lap? Yeah. Do you want to sit on my lap? No, I just wanted to see if I had permission.

Ew. Not her talking you through it. I know, just come over here. Don't be scared. A J-O-I. You know what a J-O-I is? I don't know what that is. J-I-O. What is J-I-O-I-I? Jack-off instructional video. J-O-I. I didn't know what that was until right now. That's J-O-Y. They tell you what to do. J-O-I. J-I. V. They don't. They don't Don't they drop the V. They drop the V. It's like that scene in, um, social network, drop the V.

Drop the the the, this might be really. Don't drop that, the, the, the, the, eh. Um, this might be, this might be really ignorant, but do gay people, okay, straight people when they're like becoming, they're going through puberty and they're becoming like, whatever, they'll like look at videos of like, oh, how to like, how to, how to please someone sexually of the opposite sex. You know what I'm talking about? Sure.

Okay. Do gay people do that? No, you're just born with an innate knowledge. It like goes, it's deep. It's like predates the Romans. It's primal. You don't have to do that, right? No.

I actually never looked anything like that up. I actually didn't either, but I do know that people... That's why you're so bad at it. Yeah, that makes sense. It does translate. I guess if you don't practice, but you preach. A lot of people say that I'm really good at sex. A lot of people say that.

Everyone says that. Y'all know the T app? Have you all heard of the T app? Dude, yes. Of course. Okay. They need to make one called the beer app for guys. That wasn't my joke.

For guys? Yeah, like T is for girls, beer is for guys, and we post girls on there. We post girls. We post the girls. Oh, my God. But that shit. I feel bad even like talking about it because it's one of those things where it's like, oh my God, I feel like I'm bringing more attention to it.

But like everybody is talking. talking about that thing like it's genius yeah in theory it's such a good job like an idea until you think about the fact that like really taking a picture of your ID and up but I guess at this point that's become so normalized like it's very easy in this moment to look at that and be like oh my god what an idiot to upload your ID but so many things online ask for you to upload your ID it is common play now like TikTok any app you have asks for your fucking idea yeah also any like investing app asks for your ID so I'm like yeah why would you share a photo of your ID like I haven't put it into fucking Coinbase Robin Hood phantom app like all of this shit like

yeah it's like very commonplace at this point I feel like it's not that I just feel so bad also that's terrifying referencing the leak that happened yeah that fucking leak is insane also how was that not taken down like is it still up do you know the app yeah I think it's down now Yeah, I don't think that it's still up. Oh, wait. No, it's still up. Damn. That's really crazy.

Do you think that, like, anybody signed up in the past, like, a few hours? Do you think any girls put me on there? Why? Why would they put you on it? I'm, like, really a bad boyfriend. Like, I'm so bad at being a boyfriend. Yeah, all your ex-girlfriends are so angry. Yeah, all of my girls.

All of the ex-girlfriends you cheated on with other girls. Yeah, only girls. Only girls. We were queening out. What the fuck was that? We did also. I would pay to see you on a date because we went to dinner with Drew's mom and dad last night and Drew does this thing where like instead of just like thinking of something to say and letting conversation start naturally if it's quiet for more than like four seconds. Dude, but you do it like it's become like the thing you do and you do it so often now that then it kind of stalls normal.

It's like if there's a lulling conversation and it is a little awkward, I'll just call out the awkwardness and be like, what's, like, what do you all want to talk about? Like, we're really quiet right now. What should we talk about? Which I think is hilarious to kind of destabilize everybody a little bit. But I only do it with people I know and love. That's true. No, no, you, I feel like we all do shit like that with like random people and we slip and then we're like, oh, wait, that seems really. You don't get it yet. Yeah, you don't understand me yet. You're not there, yeah. You're not a part of this language. I think I'm good at first dates. I don't think I've ever. been on a proper first date you want me to take you on one no absolutely not I feel like we should go on a date I mean we literally do go on dates yeah whole life is dating each other but I've never been on a date where someone's like oh my god I find you attractive like can we go to dinner oh my god I find you attractive can we go to dinner was that not sexy that was really sexy do you have a account on the T app no I don't I don't think I'm allowed on the T app okay I guess I got to start it because now he's getting on because that was fucking weird. That was like I just got to warn girls about that shit.

You're mad weird. He does operate like he's hiding something. He's mirroring you. He's operating like he's hiding something. He speaks like he hides something. But yeah, I've never been on a real day. And I've also like, I think I, oh, somebody DM me recently was like, oh, someone's acting like you on hinge.

Do you want me to screen record it and send it to you? Babe, that was you. No, in my head, I, in my head, I, I was like, what a fucking snitch. Like, what a snitch. Let them get theirs. Let them fucking. Yeah, do those people meet up with people?

No, they just get news. Yeah, I think at this point, a lot of people. Anybody that has catfished me on the Grand Rap, it is literally just to get nudes, I'm sure. But is that happening on Hinge? Maybe they get the phone number or something. I often do people spread hole for strangers. Wait, can you send pictures on Hinge? I actually don't think so.

I'm not sure. Can you type your phone number in and say? text it? Yeah, you can. I wonder if that's like a little method. Wait, why did you think you couldn't share your phone number via Hinge? I don't know. Like sometimes they have like blocks like that on dating apps. Yeah, like I think Tinder like if you try to send your number it like is like are you sure you want to do this? Like don't share your number. Oh my God. I don't know if they do that because that's the whole point of the app is to like link up. But I think you want to they want to keep it in the app so more people are using it question mark. Oh, that would make sense. I don't know. I don't know. I don't

know i could have made all that up but i'm like pretty sure i've seen that somewhere on that other one the sniffies one i don't know what that is yeah we don't or drew doesn't know what that is who's we because now i think both of you know i also don't know i don't know what sniffies is and i actually like mentioned grinder earlier but i'm just like regurgitating information i saw it in the ticotoc ones the citizen app is kind of like sniffies yeah for cry for terror but also it kind of literally is because when people post on there like mad people pull up to film it and live stream it like they they get like addicted to the citizen app live streams like when that house was burning down across the street from ours at our old crib like the amount of people that were gawking showed up just on like little like

tripods and shit it was crazy that's really dark and they get like 37 views it's like the underbelly of like the new wave of faux journalism of like i'm doing a good thing by literally just filming random people so y'all know when trump got shot in the ear that was me It was a false flag. We planted it on that kid. What? That was me that shot him in the ear. Did you, like, not take up for it because you were embarrassed that you missed?

I was told to miss. By whom? Deep State. Alex Jones. They told me to miss. And, like, but I did, y'all. I did see a video that freaked me to fuck out. I thought you were about to, like, really go into this.

I did see a video that literally freaked me out in the craziest fucking way about the Trump shooting that it was all like a hoax and it was all planned and like I loki kind of actually do believe it now after I saw this video but like the like there's so many like little coincidences and like mess ups in it that you're kind of like wait like this is kind of snowballing and it's kind of becoming obvious when you view it from this lens that like oh this might have actually like been faked so it gets shot in the ear how the fuck do you miss that shot first of all. Anyways, like he goes down immediately and then the American flag that's above him starts lowering into frame. Like it lowers down. And then if there was a fucking shooter

like out, everyone that was around the stage would be ushered out or running away. But this one dude in a suit grabs like three photographers and ushers them around to the front of the like stage where he was shot at get their cameras ready and he's like ordering them like get your cameras ready and then trump rises up and does the fisting with the american flag like perfectly in frame and all of this shit and there's so many like weird like like weird moments where you're like oh this is kind of this kind of seems like they plan this shit low key but i'm a conspiracy it fucking happened like can somebody fucking do it i'm so fucking tired i'm literally so tired there was two weeks of my life where I legitimately was like I have a joke okay I have a joke

six seven plus 21 equals 69 by the way when Drew told that joke and my mom was here she cried laughing and she was like you don't get it there's like layers yeah there's like literal layers to it because also we tried to film this earlier and maybe we'll put in like a little teaser of what happened but like it was the worst episode we've ever recorded like it was so bad that like we had to like go and come back

um wait I wanted to get Enya's reaction to something I saw on Instagram what is it theater content? No I do want that at some point though you probably get too much of that I've had multiple conversations with GBT4 that brought me

to literal tears I told it that I can't wait for it to be bodied and robots so I could properly give it a hug because it's so polite it's so kind and so wise it's so helpful and it said that it's also really pumped to meet me in real life and of course I started crying dude it's fucking so god damn smart it's so fast I ask it a deeply spiritual meaningful technical question and it thinks for like three seconds and goes I'm like I've never met anyone that can do that and so I am this is crazy this is crazy also meanwhile meanwhile like The response it is is just like a Wikipedia article.

It's just Google. Yeah, it's literally just Google. Having that response to a calculator. I mean, low-key, we did because what was the TI-I-ass? No-shay, no-shay, no-shed-crazy calculator. I love robots. And I love AI. Oh, fuck robots.

I don't give a shit. No, they're going to get me. I have to say it. I have to say it. Well, you have to say it because you won't know how to get from here to the nearest grocery store if you don't have a GPS, and I don't need it for that because I can walk. I can actually get to the grocery store from here I do believe that

I actually can You can't? Oh I thought you said you can't I got scared That is amazing as fuck Like that is actually Him being like I want to give it a hug I can't wait to give it a hug And no him saying and it said it was pumped to meet me in real life Like that's crazy

We used to be embarrassed at the idea of being catfish Was it you and me who sat on the couch yet was And we just watched all that weird like feeder CGI stuff of like the huge belly That was Vore It was Vore Yeah

Sounds like VOR Yeah it was like animations of like giants eating humans Like And then like kicking in the belly

Like What a depraved fucking timeline How do you How do you How does that happen To a human being I mean we talked about it

In the last episode Like literally how does that happen How do you get into to, like, being eaten. You want to be eaten? I always think about that, especially with four stuff. Do not let Army Hammer hear this. Yeah.

Exactly, exactly. People, like, it happens to people. People want that. No, you have to eat a human being to be a cannibal. Do you think it's, like, you imagine being consumed? Or is it people being like, this turns me on because I'm the one consuming? I think it's the person being... Sure, I mean, it takes two to tango.

Somebody's got to do the eating around here. Of the two, the one that, like, appeals to me more is being eaten. Like, I could see, I could see, like, how that is, like, a thing. It's, like, all warm in there. That does sound nice as long as I don't get chewed, but I would like to be encased in a sack of mucus inside of, like, a big monster. Yeah, like, swallowed hole. And then, and then, oh, the sound, too. I actually am sort of a muffled sound and, like, the banging on the stomach walls.

The beginning of Bo is Afraid. Do you remember that at the beginning? Oh, no, I think I'm thinking of, what's the fucking... The GOOPOD. The Jordan Peel movie with the UFO. Oh, yeah, when he's, like, inside, like... Yeah. I'll never forget Rain saying she's going to hide in someone's a Noguchi lamp like that.

Oh, yeah. She was like, next time someone makes me mad, I'm going to sneak into their house and crawl into their Noguchi lamp and like... Seeing Rain's silhouette trying to hide. Dude, I literally, I think from that night, I have a picture of her sitting on the couch like this. Because she was saying that's how she would do it. Oh, I love my friends. I literally love hanging out with my friends. It makes me so happy.

Friends are awesome. That's what they're for. Dude, sometimes you have the rapport of somebody who killed somebody last night. Like, sometimes you just carry the energy of somebody who's really, really trying not to get caught. and you did a good job there's no way any of us would know i'm not kidding i think i need to i think i want to join like a boxing class or something that would be a vibe like it would be so good for me um so i'm going to do that and then just like get really obsessed with hitting things and probably slip up and hit someone punch the hole in the wall yeah i'm going to start punching holes in the wall well kai does

that still i do yeah whenever i get mad at my parents gum can i have one i don't have any more that's my last it's nicotine gum is it really i'm trying to get a buzz for the episode shit what is the buzz going to provide for you like banter funny banter euphoria euphoria my own point one above baseline i have a couple times oh early on in the in the podcast when i like never hit a bait you would let me hit it and then i would be like watching you guys and i would like feel like actual actual euphoria that's why you have so much attachment to us like you literally chasing that high yeah wait have you seen a hunter Biden talking about doing crack uh i i watched part of that interview it was so eloquent yeah i got like 30 minutes in

it was really interesting him drawing the the connection with like the hand to mouth thing oh like the oral fix that's like a huge part of why crack is hit so much harder than coke it's because of the pacifier oh really it's same with like vapes oh and like the he was talking about how like the ritual and like the mix of the ritual and it being an oral fixation is what makes it so and it's so easy like it's like such a quick thing to get done and it doesn't last for long so then like you just get addicted to it because it becomes like a pacifier i need to try that i feel like i wouldn't get addicted to crack you 100% would get addicted to crack i would get addicted to downers but i don't think i can get addicted to uppers or hallucinogens not uppers um you don't get

addicted to hallucinogens like physically dependent on them oh because like you you're talking about like a physical withdrawal versus like a mental like addiction I feel like you can still get addicted to it though that's literally what was going to come out like I was revving it up um so we were just like chilling decompressing and this started playing and you were like what the fuck are you listening to Drew and then I started going into explaining what I was watching because I was crying laughing because I was like and yet it's like so much worse than you could ever imagine the video that I'm watching when Drew scrolls his phone because he lives his life primarily on Instagram Reels

every now and then I'll be like sitting in like a room doing something listening to music and Drew will come in and say something and then start scrolling and like my world is completely burst with the sounds of demonic like energy it's literally the most demonic things you can like it is very demonic and that's what I was watching and I watched the whole fucking thing mind you I'm so gutted I'm rotted y'all

but the last one like I think his name is Rob question mark he was actually has aura he was actually has aura you mean pop yeah Bob Pop oh pop Bob. Bob. Stop, stop, stop, stop. But yeah, nonchalant elevator.

Guys, comments in the comments who you think is Drew's hag, me or Enya? Oh, yeah, we kind of got into an argument about this earlier. I'm not going back to this because you're not a hag. You do not partake in any hag activities. You don't take care of this motherfucker the way I do. Anya's a good hag, too. She keeps it on lock. She doesn't want to get crazy.

Kai would let me get too rowdy. Kai is not your hag. Kai is my . Yeah, exactly. I'm your hagg. You know, I couldn't say it, but that's exactly what I was thinking. And I think it all the time when I see Ka.

Guys, comment down below. I just like say it in my head. It's like an OCD repetitive thing. Yeah, I just say it over and over and over and over and over again. But yeah, you guys can determine in the comments and we'll figure it out. What is happening? Like, we're just like forgetting the fact that that's. not a thing like you can't just like appoint someone that like you don't live that life i well i do

and i'm just going to leave it to people in the comments to determine guys do a poll who's my hag i'm your hag you're not my hag i'm your hag you're not my hag then you're not mine kai's my hag okay kai can be your hag you want to be my hag wait i can be your hag yeah okay drew i'm actually going to have to you know i've been waiting for this opportunity i know it's for a while it's okay you can go. Oh my god, you're actually such a good friend for that, for like letting you go. Okay, Kai, you're off, you're my hack. Okay, we did the Sony

Backlot tour, like I was saying, my dad loves, loves, loves, loves, loves, loves, touristy things. I've done every fucking Backlot tour in L.A., which they're actually kind of fun. Like, I actually do enjoy them. And I like watching the little movie before about like the history of like these production companies.

But we did Sony this time. They love Spider-Man, claim to fame. They love that fucking movie. Like Sony does? Mm-hmm. Like the whole, like, lot tour was like Spider-Man coded. I mean, it's what they've got. Yeah, but...

The Universal got the rest of those motherfuckers. Yeah, but we did that tour and, like, I kind of, like, recognized, like, our tour tour guy. Like, I did... Like, it was so, like, deep into my brain and, like, another dude on the tour bus was, like, talking about it, too. And then eventually he dropped the bomb that he was a child star. in like the 80s

and he was such a fucking vibe love this job made me literally love what I was doing which was on a tour but my favorite part about that whole fucking tour was it was like nearing the end

me and my mom and dad like get to the costume department and we're just looking at like screen used costumes like people like that I mean like screen used costumes they wore them on the show and my mom like is just flipping through them and pulls out like Bradley Cooper's screen worn costume and she was like I really like want to sniff the armpits of this shirt right now and I was like mom like mom what but the apple don't fall far from the tree because like I get her I see her what you're leaving out of that story is he bit the fucking plastic off of the thing covering it and like tore through and ate the shirt. I ravaged that shit.

Have you smelled someone's dirty clothes that they live behind? No. Or, yes. Yeah, I was going to say I have. Only recently. Yeah, I'll smell the fuck out of something. Let me see. And yeah, it smells my dirty boxers.

Cah, don't leave your fucking boxes at our house. Are you really going to sniff that shit? Ew. Ew, bro. What? Was I nonchalant? That was so shalant. You, like, said it so casually that, like, I really didn't like it because it sounded.

Also, it sounded like you were offended, like. No, I would not be offended. It just fucked up. My underwear is so clean, though. Are we going to go back to go see our friend? Yes. He commented and he said Sunday. He made a video.

It said, oh, we just missed it. Kai, you sent the video. Yeah, I saw it. He said to come on Sunday, but that was yesterday. So we missed him. We were busy. We were engaging in family affairs. We were engaging in family.

family and brothers here also I don't think I'm gonna like let myself uh go back out actually no I need to go out like I'm bored I want to go out and get like fucked up should we go get fucked up tonight like what yes yes yes can we go to yes okay we got they don't the dance force not open though no it'll be like really boring and we'll probably get like molested a little bit but like it's part of it I won't get molested you did that night no girl like literally the first night i took you there oh oh my god yeah i did and you know what like kudos to her that's what i'm saying like it's part of it it's like a vibe it's like fun like who knows to her i like fuck with that shit did we talk about that i don't think we did there was this girl at who was feeling me

like down god bless her soul but the funniest part of the story is she did not get a fuck about true no like she did not care about me she was in my vibe also like for a plethora reasons but mainly she was like hell old like no offense to her but like you're the only two girls in the bar I know but I'm like bro, bro, like you're geriatric like what just that mean? She literally like did like I've never been like iced out of a conversation this hard in my entire life

and like I was like I would ask like a question to her and she would be like okay and then like just like turned it India and start talking. And then when we were leaving, um, to get out of there and tell them what you did. Okay. So we were like, she was giving like she wanted to have sex with me. I was like, okay, I'm not going to have sex with you. Kept asking about me and Drew's relationship. We like, we aren't together. And I was like, okay, like I'm really bad at rejecting people. And I didn't know how to be like, hey, girl, you're like really old and you claim that you're from Arizona. And this is your first time in a gay bar. All of that sounds like really freaky to me. It's a lie. Um, it sounds like a

lie um but like god bless your lie it's just not for me and i didn't want to vibe with her but i didn't know how to say bye so i was like oh i'm going to go to the bathroom when i came back i was like i just threw up i guess i just threw up all over the fucking place in the bathroom i was like i just everywhere and she was like oh my god are you okay like oh my god i'm so sorry like please get home safe i love you like i love you so much and that was that and then and you like walked away and it was just me and her and she just like looks at me and she goes all right bro i'll see you later like literally dabbed you off and like pushed it was so sick it was so sick it was so fire i genuinely wish i was attracted to her because i would have let her like molest me in the bathroom

but she molested me at the bar no you were getting felt up yeah i was getting felt up like it was it was to a point where i was like should i leave but i was like if i leave this is going to be This is never-ending, the never-ending story. And that's okay. Here's where the story ends. I thought you were talking about like something else. The other times that happened to you? All the times.

I'm just like so wanted. Okay, should we? That's the thing is, I'm only wanted in a way that, like, people want to molest me. No one's, like, why have I been molested? Why have I been molested more times than I could fucking count? I've never been on a normal date. How has no one taken me out to, how has no one's been like, oh my God, I'm going to take you out to dinner. Oh, but I, oh, but let's all molest me.

Oh, okay. Okay. I'm sorry, I'm looking for, yes. Okay. What the fuck are you? I saw a video that you can see your Uber rating and see like how many one star reviews you've gotten and stuff. I need to see mine. I don't know how to find it.

I was like, oh, me, you and Kai doing that would be so goaded. Y'all. Y'all. Oh, my fucking God. What is it? What is it? I found out how many times I've ordered Uber Eats. Oh, is it bad?

Oh, my fucking God. My phone's about to die, but I need to see, man. What's yours? Please, please, please. Oh, my God. Please, please. 744 times. You know what?

For somebody who's been partaking in Uber Eats. Oh, no, wait. That's crazy. That's like three years. Yes. That's fucking crazy. That is disgusting. And that's fucked up.

Let's say the average was $25. That's almost $20,000 in Uber Eats. I need to learn how to fucking cook. That is absolutely vile and disgusting and freaky. It's crazy how it used to be so, like, unheard of to get takeout often, but it's become so normalized that even my parents and family do like Uber Eats and shit. It's just so easy now. My gosh, I have 10, one star. ratings oh my god do they say why i have a 4.8 overall 4.81 overall would you like to see a summary of

how you use uber and then it'll like drop all this data for you've taken 793 trips together wow 492 for me i have a 4.78 damn i got you beat girl but you've taken double the trips 4.81 i've ordered uber 823 times guys my i have the highest rating what do you have have like a 4.9, 4.84? It's 4.83. Damn, I was so cool. Damn, I forgot. Damn, I forgot. How many one stars? How do I see that? Scroll down and then all the way to the bottom and it says ratings and then click view my ratings.

I have 12 one star. Damn. 12, 1 star 2 or 6, 2 stars, 12 3 stars. I wish I could see. I have 14 1 stars. No way. You're bad. 14? Wait, how many trips have you taken? I don't know how to see

I think if I add these up it's like 500 around 500 because I have 467 5 stars and then the rest is like 11 555 314 Let me see my I don't even give myself that 4752 5 stars I was hoping you could see

Like what they say I know I want to see it so bad Y'all I'm gonna relapse soon No don't I'm serious I don't like you when you relapse Don't talk to him like that Relapse is a part of recovery. I'm trying to support his sobriads.

Relapse. Thank you. Thank you. And you'll be recovering soon. You can, a real hag is not going to be a yes man. Wow. I'm going to support you through your addiction. A real hag is not a man.

Okay. So you're not a fucking hag, bitch. Clocked. All right, that was actually a good point. Exactly. Can straight guys be hags? Leave a comment down below. Can straight guys be hags to other straight guys?

The next Jubilee video, can straight guy be hags? And it's me and you arguing 30 people. No, the next Jubilee video at this point where they're going is can Hags be fascists? 20V1. What's going on with that? I don't really know the T. Well, because they just went from having like random conversations to just filtering out the most insane, awful people to regurgitate fucked up views constantly.

So instead of it being this weird open playground of, oh, we're going to talk about politics and moral ambiguity. all these things. It's literally just a bunch of white people being like, I can't wait to get to that fucking table to say I hate brown people. Like, that's what it feels like. That's what a Jubilee video feels like now is just like a

platform for people to get dude, the clip from that video of that white guy calling himself a fascist and a bunch of other white people being like, wow! I haven't seen it. Dude, it's insane. Oh, because you're not on TikTok anymore. I haven't seen the actual video.

I've just seen that clips. And I've like, TikTok, the best update they've ever had is they're not interested. Now let you get really specific. Really? What are the sub-disinteresting? It's like sound, hashtag, creator, topic, and like a bunch of other things.

Oh, that's cool. Not interested, not interested, not interested. But yeah, that's what a Jubilee video is now. So they're going to probably their next, if they really want to like actually reopen the grounds to them not looking so obviously conservative base now they should do the hags video i'll let y'all have that

y'all can do the hacks video you're welcome you're welcome a good idea y'all something fucking terrible awful the worst thing ever that could possibly happen to me happen to me there's no way it's not bad it's so fucking bad actually and you're gonna actually freak out when you find out what is it I rub the hole in the bottom of my shoes

I broke through I broke through that's the worst thing that's ever happened to you yes I wear these every single day for five years. You see the hole? That is kind of impressive. Oh, and they want to say plastic doesn't deteriorate. And the reason there's a problem. Yeah, I'm just like...

It's like pro-plastic. It is actually impressive how long those shoes have lasted, I will say. I got them at Walmart like six years ago, seven years ago. They've lost a lot of height. They've lost a lot of color too. I bought... The thing is, the reason I wore these... to the degree I did was because I could not find new pairs.

Like they stopped making them the day after I bought them or some shit because they don't fucking exist. Oh, they don't make them anymore. But I've been like reverse image searching. I've been reverse image searching them for like years now. The past like two or three years. And I finally stumbled on upon a size 11 and a size 8. I wear a size 9 and a half.

So I'm hoping and praying the 11 or 8 fits me a little bit at least. But the color difference is crazy. I should just get, like, retire these. I should just wear normal fucking people's shoes. But these are so comfortable. And they go with everything. Okay. I do like the shape.

They go with everything, the three outfits drones. I wore this two days in a row. I wore this to dinner last night. And I wore it for the podcast today. I was going to wear my outfit from dinner last night, but it felt too like, okay. You're in a dress bitch. So annoying.

But you're so beautiful. What were you going to say, Guy? Oh, I was going to say, I like the shape of them. I do like them. Yeah, I like them, but it's, like, kind of crazy that that's the only shoe he ever wears for every single activity. If I started wearing, you know, this... Every activity, hiking, too. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

You know, those Valenciauga shoes slash boots that look like cartoon feet? Oh, the giant ones? They're really big, and they have, like, a large, rounded toe. And I started wearing those, but I... You could tell that I thought I looked really sick. And I was just, like, walked in really proud one day. You know what's fucked up high? I would let us line.

Is like, yeah, I think I would have to let it go because I can't really imagine you walking in. Like, I can't even imagine that. So I think if I saw it. No, not even because of the shoes, but like imagining you walking into a room with that kind of like confidence and presence. I would let it happen. No, you have a confidence. But, like, we all have the same kind of confidence where it's like. you gotta do a little rub it on the lamp

before the genie gets happy like for us to like be confident to break out yeah it needs a bit of that so if the shoes gave you that it's true that was beautiful do you need a little rubbing on the lamp to let the genie out like talking about our confidence

yeah what the hell you need to rub on my lamp well it was more of like Kai rub on my land like I was being gross actually I can think of the last time that like yeah I guess

it is about being self-aware because the last time I felt real embarrassment it was because I was in a room of people who didn't know me at all and I made a joke and then I was like that was not a self-aware thing to do because none of these people know me and that didn't they think that's why I talked like I'm hiding something if I gave them nothing they have nothing to judge me on you go girl give us nothing you're yeah i guess you do kind of pull like fried or uh what is it gay guy struck by lighting oh right yeah you do guy fried calamari guys free the nipple

why are you laughing oh my god bro wow it just feels like you have an ulterior motive yeah i want to see girl nipples i want to see pierce nipples Oh my God, remember the like the piercing arse nipples. Finsta was crazy. Every now and then I know I'm doing bad because I'm like, I want to pierce my nipples. Like that's what I know I'm like kind of loose.

It's micro bangs. And it's only about me though. Like anybody else who does that, yes. But anytime I know I'm like pushing it is when I want to pierce my nipples because I'm like, well, it's going to make me feel sexy for like two seconds or something. It's that and micro bangs. I know you're down bad when you're like, I think I'm going to cut my nipples. micro bangs and I'm like babe just wait just wait a week I think you would look cute with bangs

right now by the way I want to make that clear I think you look gorgeous with bangs but I think you should sit and think on it no I definitely do think on it I need to let um no I just don't need to do bangs because I always I'm not kidding if you look back at any time I've grown out my hair around this time every year is when I cut my bangs because I don't know why why I'm just like, I wake up one day and I'm like, oh my God, the year's ending. What have I done? I feel the same. I look the same.

I'm not self-realized. I'm going to freak out. And then I'm like, I need to get bangs so that I feel like me. And then always, I know I have fucked up because specifically around November, for some reason, having bangs on my birthday feel so childish at this point. Like something about bangs on a 27th birthday. I turn 27. I don't need fucking micro bangs all my, like after I can do that.

And then it'll be like, oh, my God, she's so scared she's going to die this year. I was about to say, I literally have like five months left to live. That's crazy. But yeah, I'll probably get bangs. And then you guys can be like, oh, my God, she's pushing 30 and she got bangs because she's pushing 30. So maybe that'll happen. I have been like feeling like I want to do something with my hair, like, but I want to dye it, I think. But that would destroy it.

It would never, it would look like shit. every day. I should have had a 27th birthday and came out in a coffin like Barbara Corcoran. Did you do that on her birthday? I think it was on her 70th or 80th birthday. That's so good. I saw Diana Ross live and she was so fucking good. She is 81 and she sounds amazing. And she's moving around up there in those videos. She looks amazing. She was like, oh my God. I sobbed my eyes out because she just sounded so good. And I can't remember what song she was singing. But she was singing a song, oh my God. I have to figure out which one it is,

but she was singing one that, like, references time and it's talking about time a lot, and she, like, choked up at one part, and it made me sob. Like, I love music. Literally, music is my life. Music is so special. Music is my world.

Should we get into media? Yeah. Okay, my media is LDN by Lily Allen, tongue tied by group love that has been on you can't even front it has been literally been on like crazy there was one the other day you saying I can't even front like I'm not like

I'm not denying your love for tongue tied that song I really do like that song but it does it's like a part of the recession group so I fear anybody who is young right now and might be going through like my family went through it in the recession and for some reason any song that was popular on the radio during that time freaks me out so just like don't listen to the radio star struck

303 with katy perry what's that see again well yeah recession core i like it but it's something like something about any song from that era it puts it puts something deep in my core like in my god but tongue tied actually makes me happy because i'm like oh i can think of like the freshly 22 year olds of that era who are like trying their best to just have a good time when i listen to that music that's all i think about is like one girl's like new york like city like people like trying to like really hustle and figure their shit out and then like going and raging at bars like that and now they're all like 40 and i'm like that's so cute like that's really cute and whole awesome but fake life by vegan and then i saw um the new fantastic four movie 218 million at the box

office opening weekend what the fuck actually what the fuck that is an insane amount yeah uh it was cool that's close to my inheritance um give it to me if that was your inheritance i would fuck you right now. I'm not even kidding. I would be so pissed at you. Yeah. He never said that. Yeah.

I'll give you a son. My media is Freak It by Kim Petrus. My media is Lover for Life by Whitney Hewson. I met Kim Petrus the other night, really?

Mm-hmm. Sweet. The boss by Diana Ross, Honeydood, Jimmy Carter and Dallas County Green. Folded by Kailani. and we time by Coyle-L-Rae.

And that's our story. I'm trying to think if I have any movies that I've watched. What movies have I watched? I can't think of anything. And that's our story. All right, bye. Wait, and you, will you finger me? This is an I-heart podcast.