Emergency Intercom - Last episode for a while… sorry

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

Enya is going back to being a closeted misandrist and drew comes out as having a crush Also this isn’t the last episode for a while I just wanted to see if anyone reads the description Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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and actually enjoy economy. Welcome back to Merch the Intercom. this is the first time i've touched inya all year oh my god you're gonna be touching me in crazy ways tonight because we're switching positions hot and fresh in the kitchen wait literally our silly podcast oh guys honestly i have i am going into 2025 with nothing but delusional positivity i know last year i went into it with positivity and god damn it did i get rug burn on my fucking butt from being butt fucked from thrown to the ground thrown to the ground several times but also we have to recognize that simultaneously there's a yin and a yang so many good things so many good things so many great things that's what i'm leading with this year is positivity i'm looking for the good things in life and it'll find me it'll find me please fucking find me

good things please find me it is so funny being people who like prize our privacy because i feel like when we talk about last year being bad it can sound so annoying to you guys i really don't want it to go unseen that i am so grateful for the life i have like i genuinely feel so blessed and i said it in like a few episodes ago but um just no just no just no just no just um but the fun part is last year like i've been feeling like a teenager again in terms of like when things are happening in my personal life i feel like it motivates me a lot to do creative work which that you really have been drawing like drawing writing all that good yeah it like really puts that pep in my step and it makes me feel alive but that's because i am mentally ill and there's just something about a deep sick sadness that makes me feel alive

but that's not the vibe this year no no wait should we do our ins and outs to start off the episode yeah yeah do you want me to start yeah should okay how should we do it so that we don't like cut each other off should we just go down our list and then we can pick ones out yeah yeah we'll go down our list fully but i mean also just chime in like we'll just chime in and it'll be fine because love is what interrupting exactly okay i just have okay so this is what i have i have what are we leaving in 2025 i have my resolutions and then oh i just deleted all of them um yeah i have resolutions what we're leaving in trend forecasting so should i just do what are we leaving in 2025 because i only have ins and outs okay so in 2025 we're leaving heart

palpitations um yes those are canceled they're out like i'm done um feeling my heart skip three beats and thinking i'm gonna have a heart attack you don't vape you don't vape i know it's gotta be some other shit bro it's gotta be some other shit i'm stopping vaping this year i am like genuinely committed to it my puff bar died yesterday on the first and i told myself i was gonna stop i had a very stressful week y'all like i really can't get into it i cannot get into it and sorry for cutting you off but my life has been a living fucking hell for the last week so has inya's not spilling her tea not spilling my tea but just know these holidays were fucking scary fucking boots they were not a vibe at all like i'm so glad i spent it with my family and i love my parents and my family yeah i'm so grateful to have a family to go back to oh oh my god i'm literally

gonna start crying imagine i just start crying for the first time over all the shit now i've been y'all the shit going on i have been internalizing and been laughing at it for far too fucking long and it is not funny yeah it gets to the point where it's not funny. It's like so unhealthy for me to like process it this way. But like, we're just going to keep laughing. I'm going to keep shoving it down until we have some time away so I can fucking cry about all the bullshit going on in my goddamn life. But just know we're in this together.

But heart palpitations out. Heart palpitations are out. Yeah, puff i don't think i'm gonna buy a new one i do have cigarettes and this is gonna sound like the craziest thing ever that shit but i think i'm gonna like smoke a cigarette today and see if it even sparks joy don't smoke a cigarette don't do it because it'll spark joy it's seen so bad you just got a cold turkey that's like no i know i i'm gonna buy a bunch of toothpicks and stuff because for me it really is like i bite my nails i always have something in my mouth and i just like i'm constantly thinking too much and i like to chew on if y'all saw the tips of my vapes the teeth marks are crazy because i i just chew on it also like it is so like embarrassing

no it is vaping is like literally just embarrassing it's just giving like baba bink like bottle like also i just don't want us to be a part of like the testing generation i feel like we've already we've already given enough. We've already given enough of our money to that side of the world and tobacco. I feel like if we all are in this together, we can all step away from it. And, you know. Yeah, right. like exponentially less than the generations the three previous generations like the others are averaging like 24 billion dollars a year spent on alcohol gen z granted only like half of us are of age are only spending three billion dollars a year on alcohol which is iconic and if we could kill big alcohol and big tobacco bitch that's a vibe but smoke your weed though hit that car i don't know the cards are a different conversation smoke your weed do your heroin uh snort smoke or inject meth like either way like those are all those are the good ones yeah yeah but actually cocaine like all of that my only

literally my only gripe with weed is i'm joking by the way y'all yeah obviously but my only worry with weed is the memory loss of it all and i i genuinely do because i believe in science um i do believe in the idea of smoking too much before i think it's like age 24 or 5 can really fuck with your memory and your like cognitive ability um so keep that in mind but also what i'm not your fucking mom don't listen to me yeah literally okay so we are leaving eye contact in 2025 i agree it's too much it's too much pressure it's like there's too much. It's too much pressure. It's like there's too many like diagnoses that you can put around it. And I don't fall in any of those fucking categories. It's never that deep.

Like if I'm having a conversation and I'm looking this way, I'm talking to you. It is not that fucking deep. It's not disrespectful for me not to look in your goddamn eyes. And I don't know why people made it that way. But like, oh, my God, like it's not that deep. We're leaving eye contact in 2025. Also, we have to leave it in 2025 because you can't tell me. Or 2026, 2026.

Or 2024. Yeah, I'm leaving all of this. You can't tell me like to make eye contact with somebody because I take it too literal and I just stare people in the eye. Yeah, and then I like overthink it. Yeah, I overthink it and i'm like yeah i'm like okay am i like creeping them out do they think i'm falling in love with them it's also interesting because i feel like with people i'm comfortable with i don't think about eye contact at all like i feel like i stare my friends in the face when i talk to them yeah like i can't even look at you because we're talking

about it but i'm i think we can like have conversations looking at each other looking at my fucking eyes bitch literally um okay we're leaving irony poisoning in 2024 um ethel kane said it best we are in a sincerity epidemic um no one's being sincere anymore and i am at the forefront of the irony poisoned movement and if you see me being irony poisoned and making uh sarcastic remarks and jokes for all of 2025 don't say shit i'm trying and i'm aware of it and i want to be more sincere with myself and with y'all and with all of my friends and family um because i realized i was like really thinking back and i was like okay i'm in tune with my emotions like i i know what I'm feeling and I like control, can control my emotions. Like four years ago, that was a different story.

But like, I can't verbalize like what I'm feeling. Like it's, it's, it's like a weird thing. Like in my head, I know what I'm thinking and I know what I want to say, but then there's like this like blockade, like that I just can't get out. And I'm just like we gotta i gotta work on that shit and that starts with being sincere i feel like you're really good at it when we're talking about things like i never feel like you're not good at just you know what it is is like comparison is a thief of joy because you are so good at it like you are like every time i

hear you talk about like your emotions or like talking about your feelings about someone or anything like that like i'm like damn she's really good at like she's just really in tune with her mind and even like on the podcast she'll go on these like tangents I'm like damn she's like just really good at it and then like I just am sitting next to you and I'm like yeah I'm sad because my family and like that's all I can get out I really do think i feel like with me you're very vulnerable so i wouldn't it really is just comparisons the thief of joy also i always try to remind people not only am i batshit crazy and ocd so i can't not think about every single waking move i make but i've had six i think now seven years of consistent therapy. So it really is.

I, I doing that once a week. I tell that to everybody. I was talking to my sister and she was talking about how she has such a hard time verbalizing how she feels, but she knows how she feels. It's very similar to how you'd say, but just like my sister,

like when she talks, I'm like, no, you don't have a problem talking. You're really good at expressing yourself but it is just i because i've done so it's like i've taken a class it feels yeah like an acting class yeah for emotions um i have a few but uh i'm leaving them off because i wrote this list when i was sobbing on the floor of my bathroom and we'll get into that we'll get into that in a second um

but the last one i'll say is unwarranted guilt i feel like i am a very guilty person for things that i had nothing involved with or like just i feel like i carry around a lot of guilt for things that literally do not matter or that I had no involvement with. And I am just leaving that in 2024. I am living a guilt free lifestyle. I'm moving on like I'm apologizing if I did do wrong, but like I'm not holding that guilt over me. And there will be no more shame, no more shame, no more shame. You know, what's funny is my top two are admitting you're annoying slash wrong and vulnerability, which I feel like kind of plays into that. I was just being annoying in the way I wrote it.

But it really is that just if I'm wrong, I am wrong. I feel like I've started to realize because I am a people pleaser through and through. And that is such a selfish and self-absorbed act. I don't think i do it that way on purpose but it does get to a point where it's okay all of these things and all of my guilt comes back to me and how i feel like i'm going to be perceived for the thing i've done and said yeah so it's such an ego thing and i feel like it really didn't start as that it comes from our fucking childhood and like being like the younger or like middle siblings whatever whatever but i feel that i i can carry literally i will have

nothing to do with some shit and i will say sorry 18 million times you gotta stop apologizing i say sorry oh i give out sorries like i'm mr beast giving out fucking a hundred dollars chocolate yeah like i'm giving out feast bitch oh my god i found out mr beast received millions of taxpayer dollars from the pentagon to get kids to fucking enlist in the goddamn military because we are in a military crisis like because no one wants to fight a fucking war like no like everyone is just like over okay whatever because what the fuck does that have to do with me i don't even believe in the shit y'all are trying to put me at war for like literally leave those people alone leave those people the fuck alone oh my god pissing me off i want to throw like i think an end for this year is throwing tomatoes like i think we need to bring back like tomato

tomato because i feel like so much of our society is reversing into these crazy ideas that feel very old school. So, OK, I'm going to bring back the old school retaliation and I'm going to start. Y'all better start checking my back for tomatoes. Bitches are getting tomatoes and stones. Like, we're going to start stoning people. Like, we'll throw tomatoes at people where we're like, this guy fucking stinks. But we'll throw stones at people that commit heinous crimes yeah i think mr beast is getting a tomato with a rock inserted in it so like a dirt log a dirt log yeah so it's like not going to cause

permanent damage there may be a cut have i ever told you about my dirt clog fight era i'm not gonna i'm not gonna lie i don't know what the fuck a dirt clog is it's just like a really hard compacted mass of dirt like it gets wet and then it turns into like almost a stone where you can pick up a clot of dirt um and we would on recess we found a big pile of them like for like three days and we would just have like wars where we kept throwing them at each other and they would hit you and like hurt a little bit but they would burst into dust and it was just like really fun well one day a kid accidentally picked up a literal stone and launched it at a kid and gashed his fucking forehead open um and no one like the the parents of the kid that had his forehead uh gashed open were like we're pressing fucking charges but the kid was like mom like that's

gonna make me so fucking lame like make me a loser. So nothing happened. But, yeah, I was almost the kid that threw the stone. The first stone at the dirt wall. The first stone at Granbury brick stone wall. Yeah. Brick wall. Brick wall. Okay, I'll say my other ones, but just know that these are back in.

Sorry, I'll stop interrupting you. No, no, no, no, no. You're good. These are back in. No, no, no, no, no. You're good. These are good conversations. We're leaving showering in 2024. Are you going to substitute it with something? No, I think our human bodies were not meant to be showered. I mean, I already left it in 2023, but I'm saying everybody else is going to start joining.

I literally think the only time I quote-unquote showered last year was when we went to the river. I guess I went to the ocean with Mason and Zamar and swim. Like, but does that make it like, no, because you're not using soap. So it's technically not a shower. You're just like getting wet. I'm confused. Like you, you go in the bathroom all the time. Yeah.

I just hang out in there. i know yeah i i make it seem like i'm showering i'll maybe wash my hands because we're also leaving that in 2022 where i left it like wash but there's like like sicknesses and stuff going around that's i'm building my immune system babe oh okay honestly i feel that i feel that also i just realized we can cut this off if it's like too much but it's not even it literally has no details to it i've realized because both of us love hanging out in the bathroom and i genuinely think we like hanging out in the bathroom so much because we both grew up in huge families that we had to share all these spaces and the bathroom was the only place you got to be fully alone because i was just looking at you thinking about you hanging in the bathroom i was like i don't do that and i was like wait yes i do

every night when i get ready for bed i am in there for like two fucking hours it's chilling it's a vibe it was stairs i love being in there it was the stairs and oh best believe under the table were you under the table oh no that's weird i was hanging out under the dining room table because we had this table i hate under the chairs would block it and there was this little center area with a glass piece that would shine light in there and i would just literally i would bring clay under there i would bring shit under there and i would hang out under there and i have the best memory from when i was a kid during like the house the fridge is about to explode at the first house i lived in we had these huge windows in the living

room and it was a crazy thunderstorm and i was under the table like i had an ipod touch i was like 14 i was under the table and orange is the new black wow just came out and i was having that watching that and playing with clay and i remember like going to the kitchen and like putting it to bake and going back under the table and waiting also actually before i forget i almost set my fucking parents house on fire in miami because my dumb high ass was like playing with clay with my siblings which was so amazing loved it so much um made the cutest character i made that thing we've been working on i made it out of clay and it looks really good do you have pictures of it no because i put it in the air fryer instead of the oven because i was like same difference i was like same thing bitch i natalie came in the room and sabrina was

there and she came in the room and she goes there's a lot of smoke in the house mind you no one else noticed my brother is sitting in the living room literally and i had to go and run and open all the windows and fan out the house um and i went and told my dad and he just looked at me he was like you were so dumb and i was like yes we know and then he was like did you get the smoke on i was like no and he was like okay and he got up and he just started doing it you mentioned oranges and new black and i don't think that show gets the credit it deserves for making netflix what it is today because that yeah that single-handedly changed the trajectory of netflix forever like they were making like little dinky shows i think they had uh who was the murderer that like

docuseries or whatever like making a murderer yeah um but like orange is the new black really revolutionized i mean streaming in general which i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but it's really convenient but it also costs so much money also it's yeah it's more expensive than cable i miss cable like i, I don't like decision making. It's we're all being played like pawns. I don't, I guess actually it's like a very cheap mentality to just want decisions made for me, but I don't give a fuck.

Why do I have to think about what to watch? Sorry, keep going. Cause I'm like literally going to go on a cruise. No, you're good. You're good. This episode is brought to you by Samsung Galaxy. Ever captured a great night video only for it to be ruined by that one noisy talker? With audio erase on the new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra,

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Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. Stream on Stack TV. So my other one was not crying. I don't cry enough. We're leaving that in 2024 i'm gonna be an emotional baby i'm gonna be crying all the time trying to cry i can't be the only girl crying yeah and also i feel like it is like a really useful skill to have to be able to cry but um i'm just joking just manipulate yeah just just manipulate. Okay, then we're leaving crushes in 2024,

but I redacted that one because I wrote this when I was crying on the floor of the bathroom, but I got a text back, so we're cooking. Things are looking up. We're cooking, but I'll get into all of that after Enya's list.

Oh, my ins? My ins, I already said the first two. Admitting you're annoying slash wrong. Vulnerability. Not caring about text backs backs which is crazy she just said that but i mainly meant that because i'm sorry i'm not a good texter it's never that's only for you yeah it's never gonna happen please know i love can i show you the way we text i'll show you later but like you tell me if i'm like over reading things no it is bad every time i open a text with anybody i love i'm like holy shit i suck dick and balls but i just can't good you know what it is too is like this is so annoying but i genuinely i have decided i like giving so much

time and attention to someone and i feel like text is a barrier i can't be fully like i can't be as fast enough because if you look at our texts or like me and orion's text and our group chat text we're all just talking at the same time like we're not really replying to each other because the way we all talk is we like to just be in each other's face i'm like blah blah blah i can't do that over text and if i see you in person and you're my friend and i am fully present you should know i love you a text back is not going to change that yeah that's a good one and I need to also get on that wavelength yeah I just like I feel like also being a bad text backer or whatever being bad at replying to text also is like remove the anxiety

I don't really care that much when someone doesn't text me back because I don't even remember I sent the text if I'm being honest like I send a text and I leave the app and I'm just like living in my own world and then I'll be like oh shit that person never responded to me that's crazy like I actually don't give a fuck about a text back I will say crazy shit in your text and I'll give a fuck if you don't reply because I know you saw it like because I know I see everything on my phone so I know that's what drives me insane I'm like bitch you saw it and you didn't respond like because I see everything like if I don't text you back it's not because i didn't see it i saw it but i was scrolling on tiktok and i don't have the capacity and wherewithal to exit the app put the energy into texting you

and then sending and then going back to the video i was watching like i just need to be in perpetual rot state because if i break that cycle bad things happen i start thinking thoughts i start having thoughts inside of my head your own thought yeah and i can't have that i really i really cannot well that's why this year we're going to dedicate more of our free time to using our hands because the idol uh what is it the devil loves idle hands yeah i mean that's one of my resolutions which i won't get into yet um making coffee at home i already do this all the time but i mainly wanted to say it for y'all like invest in a little setup it's like a self-care thing i love like as much as i would love to just lay in bed and order

a coffee one i can never get myself to do it because i'm like that's awful and a waste of time and also a waste of money and the idea of somebody going in their car and getting me a coffee and leaving on my front porch makes me feel absolutely batshit crazy but also it's like a self-care ritual if you have the time make a coffee at home like invest in your little setup it's like doing your makeup or skincare or whatever the fuck it's like it's a moment to yourself yeah it's like i think that's why matcha also became so popular yeah because it really it's like a ritual like rituals are very important guys we need to tap back in that's an in is rituals like little rituals for yourself like not like not like big things like little like every morning one of my rituals is making my bed tidying my sheets or opening the curtains you don't have curtains but like opening my curtains

it's like i i wake up before everybody else i clean up a little bit like that's a ritual like little things like that that's so in yeah just little things for yourself you don't have to do your big one every day that's like absolutely ridiculous watching the movies your friends recommend but i have to wow i have to immediately follow that up with one of my outs which is recommending movies you already went to see in a theater without me and you didn't invite me okay that is also for me too yeah because i i didn't get invited actually granted i was in either other countries or states but y'all saw all of the major motion pictures without me and i'll never see it barbie barbie bitch i'm telling you you're not missing shit with barbie like i i am so sorry i just like internalizing that saying that shit wait because y'all saw

something without me too but you were in another state you see hella shit without me you see how the shit without me should we kiss no i'm gonna shove this banana up my ass so you hit me and then you say you're gonna shove a a banana up my ass? And you're going to like it. A new in, too, is playing. Like, not enough friends want to just play. Like, I'm taking inspo from Rain.

She's really good at getting her friends together and playing games and just not watching TV. When I go to Rain's house, it's rare we sit down and just, like, watch TV. We just play with our cat. We play with little things. We get, like, little kits to make fucking what's it called? Those, like, pop and cook in. Like, I want to to do more of that i want to do more playing with my friends i want to go run around with my friends i want to find a field and like chase each other and play in person like i want to play and a second thing is that like that is dressing up and being loud i feel

like i really like my style it's become very diluted and basic. But I think it's just been easier for me, especially with how busy I've gotten to be more simple. But I want to be more playful with my outfits. I want to be like more of a presence. And that's a whole other thing. But yeah, I just want to have more fun with my expression with my clothing and my hair and things like that. And I'm trying to figure it out i inspired you you actually like kind of did i'm like oh damn like getting a fun haircut is a thing like it's a good thing my rat tail i need it rebraided the the rubber band fell out yeah this has been braided oh you have to take that out and wash it because you probably have like scalp buildup at the base of that braid oh no i like get up in there and scrape it's really loose at the tip oh that's it and that's honestly it for my

ends like i have other ends but they're more i guess resolutions for myself should we do outs uh i did my ins and outs at the same time oh shit i'm dumb as fuck outs is doom scrolling because i really want to get off my phone this year i don't think i don't agree with the idea that the internet and everything is the worst thing you can do to your brain because i genuinely do think it's such a good form of connection information whatever but i do think i have an addiction to my phone like most of us do and if i'm sitting around anxious i'm like i could be doing something i just want to move my mind somewhere else even if that means to a bigger screen and watching a movie that will be done yeah one of my resolutions this year is when i'm bored i'll read when i'm

overwhelmed i'll write or draw um instead of scrolling on iphone but like you were saying i'm a huge proponent of the iphone like there's kale phone crack phone i want crack phone give it to me let me utilize it to the greatest of its abilities like i want it to consume 90 on my day but at the same time i know i have life to live because i'll only be 17 once oh wait i thought i'm so confused i thought you were 18 because I'll only be 17 once. Oh. Wait, I thought, I'm so confused. I thought you were 18. Wait, let me do the math.

What year were you born? 2010. Damn, so I'm only 15. You're so annoying. Well, I'm 14 in like nine months. So I guess I'm like technically 16. You're so well i'm i'm 14 in like nine months so i guess i'm like technically 16 you're so annoying um another out is holding your pee that's kind of just to me i have this really bad habit especially because i'm always with my friends i will just i i hate leaving a room from you guys because leaving a room from the people i know means you miss 30% of a conversation and you come back and everything is completely different.

It's an inside joke. Everything has happened. There's something being repeated that you don't understand. But I really don't want a UTI. Avoiding the doctor is another out. I want to go to the doctor. Yes, that's one of mine. I am privileged enough to have access to doctors and I want to use it.

I want to take care of myself. Let's get those executive physicals y'all there's these physicals granted they're so fucking expensive like ridiculously expensive but you can do them in mexico city for like 700 but there are these physicals where you go in and it's like three days of testing we should just do that because i want to go back to mexico i love mexico i love mexico i literally i'm not playing i love me oh my god the fucking shout out mexicans like y'all ate the food is delicious y'all's city is gorgina grande like oh my god i love mexico so much and every time i go back i'm like damn like this might be my favorite city i've ever been to. It's so good. It's so nice.

Also, I'm sorry, like, Latin America is just goat. I really want to go to Honduras this year. But my family is, like, boring as fuck. They're Jehovah's Witnesses. Like, I want to go to Honduras to, like, go do the shit I did as a kid, which is, like, go play in the river, but my great-grandma is dead. And she's the one who lives by the river but like what why i don't want to go to church but maybe loki would be interesting because oh my god when i was in honduras when i was a kid don't get on me for my pronunciation i'm sorry i like i can't i can't do it um

when i would go as a kid they would drag my ass to church three times a week that's i don't want to go and you know what i would always do my cheat code for getting the fuck out of the church is i'd be like i'm thirsty i'm thirsty so my mom would give me money or my grandma would give me money and i would run outside and go find a lady who was selling water because they sell water in bags and i would just like go and sneak into my aunt's truck into her back bed and i would lay there and like drink my water until my grandma came out looking for me she'd be like and yeah because she thought i got kidnapped um but really i was hiding because i didn't want to be in fucking church we listen and we don't judge every time i find money in

the washing machine it becomes mine oh same it's mine every time i don't care that's just that's something i thought about and then um i don't know why i just said that but you just had to admit your sins that's the part of your in you're being vulnerable yeah i'm being authentic um my other out is staying up too late i am a night owl by nature i want to get better at actually sleeping i just want to get my sleep in tune because i'm really really. You do need that. I'm like a heavy sleeper, but I sleep wrong. I don't really invest in like good pillows and stuff. So I have like really bad back problems.

I'm so excited to get a new fucking bed. I know. I just want to like, I want to just splurge. And also with that, not staying up too late. I want to do more sleepovers in bed, is why we're we're planning on getting bigger beds so we can sleep with our friends and that also is partially within but i don't want to stay up too late with y'all like i wanted to be better at us waking up and having a day together and then going to bed early together because we always have nights we never have days but we're also like

we always say like okay we're gonna go do this this and this tomorrow and then it like comes time and we're like working, working or some shit. I know. That's what something we need. I need a schedule. But sorry, keep going. Okay. This.

Okay. I really have to explain this one. This isn't out. Public misandry is out. But let me explain. This is interesting. Let me explain. I will always hate men.

Point blank period. Always. Do I have men in my life I love? Yes. There is a balance. Am I the strongest misandrist? No. Not by any means.

Because yes, I saw a baby girl. And... You're straight again. Let's just say... Don't let me in that room don't let me in that room i literally that's how i feel with nosferatu i'm like don't let me in that goddamn coffin because i will be eating the maggots off his dick like oh my god true his rotten fucking member um that's in calling a penis a member no it is a member it's a lot but i'm like i just think men are too aware of it and i am tired of them getting to go online and say the right things or just in person say the right things it's like straight men yeah i feel like straight men are just seeing that and they're

getting to manipulate it if you're a straight man listening to this be who you are be you yeah be who you are i'm not hating on you publicly um but yeah i i feel like i can't even go into detail like just the girls are together no actually see even saying that like i just don't want to be a public misandrist because i like the shock value of men coming up to me and then me being like but just know that there is a rhyme and a reason i just don't want men to know what we're up to like men shouldn't have the right like they we have to start treating it like a secret society um the illuminati of misandry yeah and that's that and then my last out is mystery i'm enough it's done it's tried it's boring it's over like yeah like enough

with the mystery of it all i think i've been thinking a lot about my you yes literally i've been thinking a lot about my age and my perceptions of what it means to be a woman i kind of went on a tangent like this on the live stream the other day but just my ideas of what it means to be a woman what it means to grow into my womanhood and like how i am perceived in public and all these things and i think i had a lot of ideas of when i grew older i would become more calm and within myself and be a little more like restrictive of the things i say and all these things no no because that is a ploy to get my ass to shut up and one thing you're never gonna do is have me fucking shut that literally is the patriarchy like locking you down no that's what i feel like

because i'm like oh yeah when i'm older i'll be just like this sexy woman and like people will turn their heads actually no i realize that i don't like i literally don't i don't want to shut up i don't like yeah i want people to fear me and i don't give a fuck actually just don't don't it is scary i am being perceived as scary but i'll tell you later okay so uh trend forecasting for 2025 i came up with a few um changing underwear daily is going to be in for 2025 like the thing is you keep saying a lot of hygiene based things that actually make me a bit worried for you yeah no you like i feel like all of us we you like everyone involved on my on your soul we're all like not changing underwear daily sometimes we go four or five days without it and that's just like saving no i'm not on your soul

on your soul we we all of us um are not changing you're like manipulating me now i'm really thinking about my underwear consumption yeah you're you're washing it too much you're wasting too much water like did you know the amount of water in a washing machine could fill an olympic size pool one wash that can't be true that can't be true yeah so every time you wash your clothes you're filling an olympic size swimming pool like i actually can't tell if you're lying to me yeah i'm being dead serious so like just keep in mind yes um see you can't say anything to me because i believe anything anyone says yeah so changing your underwear daily is in i feel like we've taken it too far and we just got to come back to it i think we should just

banish underwear yeah like i i'm low-key pro and gray sweatpants on big hairy men no underwear oh my god uh um okay i feel like sambas are gonna be sambas are i feel like jeans are gonna be a vibe blue jeans blue jeans white shirt firemen have more fun on the earth okay um okay cheetah print you're so annoying i actually was so curious i was like damn you wrote trend forecast like what are you gonna think that is how it's gonna be it's like bambi print is in we know it's been in babe um nike is gonna be in for 2025 um this is a very real one, a very authentic one. Sincerity is coming back.

Loving thy neighbor. I feel like we've gone a little too far. Oh, did you get that text too? From the car transport? Oh, no. I got a text while we were recording. We haven't chatted for a long time. When are you free to have a cup of coffee?

Who is this? No, say right now. send a pic i'm free now just because it's a bot um but wait wait what's your actual like trend forecast i'm curious love thy neighbor loving thy neighbor i feel like it's gonna come in in a very big way like i feel like we've been doing this like hating each other thing for like far far far too long and i feel like this is the year of unity and union and like respecting each other's differences and i think it's i think it's gonna happen finally yeah i do want to be less judgmental this year but that's a i don't even sound right like a big pig internally i will judge everything everybody does forward facing that makes me sound so crazy

i redact all of that um i reject that energy um i don't have any real trend forecasts like i think um i saw someone say like sailor wear like clothing i it's really niche right now like i think for like the masses it's gonna be a thing like wearing like sailor hats and like blue and white collars and like that vibe um okay so this bot texted me saying we haven't chatted for a long time when are you free to have a cup of coffee i said who, who is this? Send a pic. I'm free now. I'm Stephanie. Haven't you saved my number friend Julia?

And then she sent her picture. And then I said, OMG, hi. I don't remember you, but I want to touch your boobs. I see. Also, this picture of this girl just on vacation. I know. Who is this random girl? Stop home or some shit.

Who is? Should we reverse image search it? Yes. Zero matches. What if she's real? There's no way. That girl does not have a brain. What if I literally just like accidentally like perked out?

Sexually harassed a woman. Yeah. You could say, I'm gay, by the way. I just like playing with boobs. Oh, isn't this my friend julia's number no i'm gay by the way i just like playing with boobs you're so annoying um okay i am batshit fucking crazy i found out over this christmas break that there is a part of me that i did not know existed never thought would exist and i have gone full blown fucking tweaker psycho like like stalker like literally stalker mode like it's

and it got to a point i guess yeah you have all that pent-up energy since you're not somebody who like casually has crushes oh yeah that yeah i have a crush this is that's what i'm talking about i have a sorry i don't know if you wanted to put that out. No, I did. I have a big, big, fat, nasty crush. And I realized, I was like, why is it called a crush? Like, why is it called a crush? It's because it literally crushes you. I never knew that. I just thought it was like a silly little name.

No, it literally crushes me, y'all. I literally, like, one night, he didn't text me back when I, like, was, like, asking to hang out. And literally, I went fucking crazy i found his family i found every one of his siblings i paid 30 to find his addresses of his old houses i found out every location he's ever lived in i found his ex-boyfriend like i found literally everything you could about and made a timeline of events in my notes apps of his life like wait you have notes i have notes i have notes like i'm literally fucking crazy notes is great

drew called me i was in the middle of talking to my family he called me he was like oh my god and because of everything that's been happening i was like oh jesus christ okay like i walked away and i ran into my parents bedrooms bathroom and i was like what happened what happened he's like i'm fucking crazy no you have to tell them you fucking how you got that information though i paid 30 to subscribe to truthfinder.com i paid 30 y'all and then it gets worse y'all. And then it gets worse. I mean, to be fair, very, very crazy situation because. No social media.

That's the problem. No social media. And no, like I. I did find his Facebook profile from 2011. But that's what I'm saying. Every time somebody, anybody who has a crush, that IG is getting ran through. Tags, followers, blah, blah, blah.

But like everything, everything. i'm googling your name i'm googling your last name i'm seeing i am i know i stalked his linkedin i am seeing everything everywhere all at once but that's great to spend 30 i can't even get on you though because i would spend oh i would the amount of money i would spend to know people's business. Y'all, I was doing really crazy things. I literally went on CheaterBuster.com. What is that? Why is CheaterBuster? You find a picture of them and insert their name and age,

and then it'll tell you if they have Tinder. That is so funny, cheater buster not because i thought he was cheating but i was just like is he like looking to date like is this a possibility also granted he might actually be listening to this right now which is also mortifying but vulnerability vulnerability for 2024 well i was so down bad i literally i'm not gonna say that one i'm gonna save that but this one i will say oh is it you haven't told me yeah i was sitting on the floor of the bathroom um hadn't texted me back all day i was like damn i really like caught feelings and this is like bullshit and i was literally crying like i never cry i was literally crying but there was a lot of other

shit going on so it wasn't just that and i was like journaling in my phone because i was like when i'm overwhelmed i'll write like that's like that's what i was doing and i was writing all this shit down and i was actually being really truthful which also something i realized is bitch i still like why do i lie when i journal like i still like i make shit up when i'm journaling and i'm like bitch this is just for me like literally i have like an actual fucking issue but well that kind of makes sense because it's i have i literally if you look at my last page of journaling i write about that because i wrote about that look yeah because it's like it's almost like a fear of you're putting it somewhere and

even the idea and notion that somebody out there would ever cross a boundary and look at that stuff is enough to keep you back from writing it exactly and it sucks so bad i want to get better at that too because there's a lot of stuff but there's also it's not like me lying like yeah it's just like i can't write it down yeah it's like not me lying it's like me like just being like like saying what i want to hear if that makes sense like something i find myself doing specifically with crushes is i'll like make like i'll formulate texts where i get the response i want in return. Like it's really fucking psycho shit. Like I'll make sure the text is like a response that I want to hear.

I know, genuine like insanity, but bitch. It's so embarrassing and it's really, it's really, really jarring. But I was so beat up about it and I was like, I just need someone to talk to about this and everyone was asleep. I had a full blown conversation with chat GPT over it. Oh,

like, I wonder if the chat logs saved. I didn't save and I forgot to screen record it. Literally talk to chat, chat GPT. And it was giving me advice and it was giving me good advice okay good per because i give bad advice i was gonna say like i feel bad for drew because i'm not very helpful during these times because i am the most forward person ever drew has been the butt of that experience but if i like someone I will just literally say it.

The thing is, I'm talking to you because I want to fuck. No, literally. The thing is, is I'm like, I don't feel like I'm allowed to like him, if that makes sense. Not because not because like gay or whatever, but because like we've only hung out for a couple of times and I'm like, I feel like if I was like, oh, like I have a crush on you, like that would just be like so jarring and scary. So I'm like, what I'm going to do is just let it rock. And then when I go back to Texas and we hang out, I feel like three times hanging out is like enough to be like, hey, like i really enjoy our time that we spend together i'm crazy but not that crazy because the only time i've ever met someone in person and immediately was like oh my god i have a crush on this person was more yeah but i withheld that information for a while

because it did make me feel batshit crazy that's the crazy part is it's different when you meet someone through someone or like a friend and you have a crush in that way when you meet someone through someone or like a friend and you have a crush in that way when you meet someone random you're not expecting to meet them exactly you have a crush that is when the psychosis really kicks in because it's one thing to be searching and find something but when something just lands on your lap literally i'm like i need this i literally need this god put it here for me and i'm a little schizophrenic and i genuinely think god put this here for me like there's no other way like it was meant to happen now and I want it now I love this for you it makes me very happy I think he was born in May and I decided if you're a man born in May you're gay even if you're straight like oh my birthday's in May yeah all the gay people I know who like even if they aren't like if a straight man is born in May, like, you're gay. Yeah. Like, that's such a gay ass month.

So stupid. Well, I think it's time for me to tell this story. Maybe I have told it. But I've been thinking a lot about wanting to do my hair and all this shit. And I have such bad PTSD with anything cosmetic or, like, beauty related. Because I have had fuck ass experiences. And I don't think I with anything cosmetic or like beauty related because I have had fuck ass experiences. And I don't think I've ever told this story.

But one time when I was in Miami, it was after I graduated. I really wanted hair extensions. It was when my hair was like up to here and I wanted long hair. So I found someone and it was at Ulta Beauty where I went to go get my hair done, which is a crazy vibe. And I went and I got keratin, like not not keratin but the beaded extensions that they like get that little waxing and tip it around i served another satisfied customer do you have pictures i think i do i think i do but it's gonna take me a minute to find them but i was so embarrassed that i took one picture and i went home and this is how i'm

such a pushover i was in the seat i was like i love it i love it i paid i tipped i left i went home and i got pliers for my dad and i went in my room and i ply i like took them all out and i was so embarrassed because i had already told all my friends that i was getting extensions and they were like yes girl let me see the picture and i was like brah oh my god the appointment fell through and i lied to everyone um but i really need to find how old were you i was like 18 it was like my first like big splurge of like i'm gonna get my hair done i never get my hair done by someone else and that's why i have fucking issues um but i really want to do something fun with my hair but i'm scared i think i'm just gonna get into wigs think I'm just going to get into wigs.

Yeah, for real. Like low-key, I'm going to get into wigs. For real. That's my thing. I'm like, you don't have to cut your hair all crazy right now. You can wear a style or wear a fake bang and get a good one, spend good money on it, and see if you like the way it looks or if you're over it in a week. And imagine even blonde hair. That's kind of...

I loved your blonde hair era. I just like... But that's also why I feel like a teenager again. I do have this picture of the night we watched Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Wow. Sorry, this is going to take forever to find. Well, while you're doing that, I will talk about something else. I love you guys so much, by the way. I know, I love y'all.

I love my friends so much. by the way. I know. I love my friends so much. It hurts me sometimes thinking about everybody. And then it hurts me like thinking about not being with y'all forever. And I don't even like having those thoughts. No, that's not going to happen. I know the threshold's like seven years and we made it. Like it's like if you can sustain a friendship for seven years, it'll last a lifetime. And we're far past that so new year's

eve was yesterday two days ago um and like everyone knows that they wear diapers like everyone knows oh like at the front of like the ball drop yeah so they can like i'm not kidding i can't understand the vibe no that's, I really want their brain studied by science. Like I want all of them like before they're like, before they leave, they can watch the ball drop, but we take their fucking brains from them and study them because like, I truly believe those are the happiest people on earth because to put yourself through that, that's like the equivalent to me, like having to run like an ultra marathon. Like you couldn't, you literally could not make me do it, but like they do it and they love it and they're happy to do it but we all know they

wear diapers like that's like that's the big thing it's like oh they wear diapers and shit and piss themselves the whole time what no one's talking about is the utter fucking stench that has somebody reported on the stink i haven't seen anybody talk about it it has to stink because also all your bodies are pressed up all your bodies are pressed up everybody's sweating everybody's shitting and pissing themselves like it's literally got to be the big stink 2.0 like london is falling like literally like orb of methane gas make you diarrhea and shit crazy oh i know that new year's eve was stinking yeah oh i guess people wait in because there's performances right don't people perform so it's technically a free concert yeah

i okay i get it no i get it like it's cute but i could never yeah but i'm also just like there's really nothing i want that bad i've realized and that's why i've been trying to rest i want a compound that bad a compound for us all to live on well yeah that's the goal or like a chateau i wish no one i knew had family they loved also like i don't actually wish that but like oh i hate how much i love the people i love because my dream would be to move us all into one city like i i know i want to live in the middle of nowhere with all my friends i was talking to my friend i was talking to sabrina about it i was like oh my god if i could like build out a state so then there's like this mainland and it's like me and all my friends and then the town over that's where all our families live and then the town over is where

all their friends live that is what i want so i think we're just talking about a commune what's so bad about that there's nothing bad about it yeah like i feel like when we talk about that to random people they're like oh that's a cult i'm like that's literally not a cult and literally what is so fucking what like i'm not taking anyone's money i literally just like that's okay actually that's what annoys me about fucking billionaires is you have all that money and what are you doing getting on yachts boom boom tomato tomato you're so boring like how are you going to be a money hoarder but you were using it so boring and it's because you don't have true connection and wealth no swag no bitches like oh god i literally thought the world was i know i just hate that like millionaires and stuff's vibe is

going out and getting fucked up with strangers and getting more ego like do you is your ego not filled you're already like so famous and rich a table at a club with bottle service like what can you literally like instead of that how about you hug your loved ones no or like how about you sit in bed on iphone like i know how about you pay for a therapist and wonder why that you were trying to chase high school terms of admiration in public like it just feels so high school like like i'm sorry you were a loser in fucking high school like we all know it like we can tell like based on the way you behave now but you have a burnt ego and you're in 11 on new year's eve yeah how about you heal your inner child how about you give my child a gun oh how about you give my inner child a gun so it'll kill i literally okay i think i have been losing it because the other day i couldn't describe how

i was feeling and the only way to describe it is it felt like somebody drugged me knocked me out hid a gun and a bunch of drugs in my brain for me to like ship them to a different country does that make sense like that was the kind of anxiety i had i felt like i had a gun in my head damn okay well we're gonna do media real quick um and then we'll probably just continue this episode on patreon we're trying something new we're trying something new um but my media bitch wild robot i'm not kidding i know that might maybe we watch that after wicked tonight that might break my top four on whoa letterbox like i swear to god like i don't think it's like

the best movie ever made but it i have never cried at a movie like that ever in my life like it was like it was simultaneous like happy and sad tears and it's like I said not the best movie ever but like it just made me think about all the women in my life like made me think about myself as a caretaker for some of the people that I love like it made me think about like all the moms out there that like literally just destroy themselves to like raise their kids and like how like friends destroy themselves for their friends. And it's like their bodies are literally fit. Like mother's bodies literally physically fall apart to raise their kids.

They like break bones. They like their immune systems get shot. Their skin gets all saggy like it's so dark-sided but they do it because there's some like love that we can't even like begin to comprehend for like offspring and i don't know it just like that i'm literally to have kids because the way i love the people i love so intensely like i was having a panic attack for reasons I won't say. Also, I remember in an episode recently, I was talking about that panic attack in Mexico. And I was like, I haven't had a panic attack in so long. I have panic attacks at least six times a year.

When I was talking about that, like I was like, I never have panic attacks. That was just a really bad one that like lasted a long time but yeah I do that all the time like I literally even yesterday when I was talking to you that wasn't a panic attack but like when I'm talking about certain things I can feel my heart like start to clench and I have to sit down like I physically can't stand and I can't get the words out and I have to rush them out or else I'll have a panic attack. A panic attack. That is crazy, though.

That's how I've been feeling about Janet Planet. I already said Janet Planet last week, but I watched it two times when I was in Miami. It's been like my comfort movie. And I feel like I never have that with movies, but it's just a movie I've been putting on. And I really like the soundtrack and I really like the story. Like it's so good. My other been putting on. And I really like the soundtrack. And I really like the story. It's so good. My other media of the week is Baby Girl. Thank you so much.

Because I want both of them now. Dick and vagina. I want both now. And my music media of the week is Walk a thin line by fleetwood mac and miracle man by bob carpenter that's honestly it and still doji's tiny desk that was crazy because i still just i just will play that and listen to it um okay i'll do three psyops and then we're dipping uh inya hears party and starts digging in her dirty clothes basket shut the fuck up uh lily rose toy lily rose toy

it's probably been said because it's so easy but uh cuddling it i've said this one three times but it's just so perfectly and it literally is how i felt on crush night cuddling a twink feels like you're laying on the apple tv remote bones bones bones um okay and that's it you know how i know i'm back in my bisexual bag for real because you were showing me pictures of a man last night that you think is hot and i for the first time was like was it oh my god i get it like i literally get it like i was like i have to tell kai i was feeling a bit feral over it all i have to tell tell Kai. Well, the bad news is someone locked me up because I think I might be becoming a whore.

Yeah, I mean, enter it. But every time I've exited a ho phase, I've been like two seconds away from being 5150. Oh, yeah, no, it's bad. No, I know. I want to dye my hair and bleach it i am incredibly optimistic out of like pure survival mode and i am finding everyone sexy like so y'all better watch the fuck out and he's gonna get you um but that was that episode happy new

year everybody thank you so fucking much for tuning in um another year of emergency intercom incoming um you're all the goats you're all very special to me um and we'll just say some things are going to be changing soon a lot a lot a lot of new things are coming soon. So just be ready for that. Be excited. Please. Peace, love, prosperity, respect, health to you and yours. Sleep tight tonight.

Bye. AAAAAAAAHHHHH!