Emergency Intercom - Mr. beast is coming on the podcast

Episode Date: October 13, 2023

Drew and enya discuss meeting Millie Bobby brown, mr beast flying too close to the sun and our iPhones slowly lobotomizing all of us This episode of Emergency Intercom is sponsored by Better Help. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/INTERCOM today to get 10% off your first month. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm, like, so worried about my sister. Randy, you cannot marry a murderer. I was sick, but I am healed. Returning to W Network and Stack TV. The West Side Ripper is back. If you're not killing these people, then who is? That's what I want to know. Starring Kaley Cuoco and Chris Messina.

The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants. Killer messaged you yesterday? This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this. Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9, Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. Stream on Stack TV. Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Are you ready to have absolutely nothing of true intelligence spewed into your ear for an hour?

Like, I genuinely don't know that people walk away from this podcast learning anything, but maybe they learn to love. No, that's what i was about to say they learn to love themselves because they look at two people that have loved themselves a little too hard a little too much a little too much no i think the point of loving yourself a little too much and i'm drew and this is in ya i was gonna say i think the form of loving yourself a little too much is when you get to like a Jake Paul Logan Paul level like a pure oh speaking of YouTubers Mr. Beast last video he's a danger he's an actual danger he is actually going beyond like he is fully performing squid games like yeah no he's it's really really it's actually dark like the the ending of that video was actually dark like i literally was like almost tearing up i felt so bad for that guy also i found out he is a friend of another mr beast type

creator that eric guy who was in eric's really early videos and i wonder if there's some like drama or beef there because he left eric yeah yeah to do the mr beast thing but he was hella athletic i know i was gonna say that has to just be one of his homies who is like very athletic because if you haven't watched please go watch me please go watch yeah um but it literally is so fucking odd the water scene made me so anxious and also just like him losing and then picking him up i mean like come on buddy and you think he would hug him and comfort him but he just puts him on the platform and shoots him down into a pit like no we we've i mean we said this for the last six months like he is flying really really close to the sun and then he like posted about like a new video that he's doing where it's like this sterile

ass white room also the fucking budget has gone up insane like that was like a five million dollar video with like the sets he was doing and then he built out another set that's like super techy like could be in space odyssey 2001 like type shit like very sterile white room like high advanced like future shit whatever um and he's locking people in there for a hundred days and if one there's two people. If one of the people leaves, they both lose the money. And I think it's like a half a million dollars or something. Oh, my God.

Half a million to split or half a million per person? I have no idea. I think I would assume to split, but it's probably knowing Mr. B. Yeah, he's probably just doing that. But people were like actually upset with him. They're like, damn, like he actually is like becoming like a rich super villain watching people like brawl for money but like then that there's like the argument well like isn't every game show ever like making people who need literally a lot of money like make fools of themselves like that's the whole point of a

game show it's always been around so like why is it a problem now that mr abuse is doing it but i don't know he's just taking it to a level that like that was just so sad it was literally just so sad the ending of that like i feel like with game shows but i guess he still walked away with like a good amount of money so boo fucking who it's just crazy because also like i was saying drew in that like video he had to just keep going because or else like mr beast even made a comment about it he was like or else i just won't have a video so he literally kept pushing him towards the end of the video to keep going through the trials knowing that he wouldn't win yeah and even

mr beast was like okay like this is there's too much money on the line like do not do this next one and he was like don't fucking convince me to do the next one and then he did it anyways and then flopped hard but then it sucks because that's like the worst trap they made i know it's like the bunkus trap because it's literally just a squid games game squid games um would get eating my sandwich watching squid games also last night i was freaking the fuck out because i was just scrolling through tiktok and i stumbled on a live and it was like we'll insert the picture but it was like just this screen and i didn't recognize the app at first but i could assume it was uber and you could see the guy was in denver he was like driving around and it was

like two minutes to picking up hannah and he's talking to the camera and like just talking but like he did it in a way that it doesn't show the exact directions like you know on the uber map it'll have the map and like the line but it won't show like where you're going um because he probably has another phone it's connected to for the actual map but i was watching i was like there's no way this man is about to stay on live and get a passenger in his car he fully did and he like interacted with her and tried to make conversation but it was like late at night she didn't really talk to him and that was freaking me the fuck out because how insane is that that this uber driver is just live picking people up driving around and there was a point where uh he showed a part of the map when she got out of the car he didn't move

and like he zoomed out and you could see the lyft and uber app open at the same time and on the lyft app it shows like street names and stuff and that i'm not gonna insert but i was looking at it i was like if i was actually but this is also me just being extremely paranoid and fearful because I'm a woman and I like swear this is going to happen to another woman and it scares me. But if I was an insane person living in the Denver area and I saw that and I wanted to kill somebody, like a random person I had no connection to, I literally could have found that girl's cross streets very easily, gone outside her house, yelled Hannah. She probably would have come out and been like, why is yelling my name and i could have killed her and then that's what was freaking me out last night because i was like oh my god like literally it is such an invasion of privacy

and then i thought about it because i get an ubers and if i'm with a friend i say all my fucking business like we'll be catching up in an uber i'll be saying all my fucking tea like i say literally everything that's happening in my life imagine getting into a fucking uber and you're like on tiktok in the back seat like talking to a friend and scrolling through tiktok and you just see a live stream and you're like oh like there's an uber driver live streaming and you click on it and you fucking hear your voice and you're literally like without your knowledge being broadcasted to a thousand that's like my biggest fear coming true like i literally think i'm being recorded at all moments of the day yeah me and kai talk about it literally all the time where we're just like it feels like there's like a camera on me all the time like even

in like safe spaces i just like i don't know it's it's fucking bizarre but my favorite genre video ironically enough that you brought that up is right now watching Uvu Javers kick out passengers out of their car for being psychos. And, like, it's so funny watching these people be, like, tyrants in the back and then, like, get humbled when they're like, get out of my fucking car if you're going to act. Like, I think you're forgetting, like, this is my car. This is literally my vehicle. Yeah. forgetting like this is my car literally my yeah and like i've i've seen somewhere like people in the back are like lying and like we'll call the cops and say he's trying to run me over and they're like they have like the camera footage and it's just him sitting there like just being like why

are you literally lying right now it's like it's really really advanced level um shit to like bring up but yeah we've definitely gone too far we've said it a million times like i was scrolling through my tiktok feed the other day and i was just like watching live streams of just like the most bizarre shit i mean you saw it yesterday i don't want to mention what it was but it was just literally like people dying on my live stream and like people donating gifts like it was so fucking weird yeah it's like gone so far what you can see on live stream like it can either be like you're invading someone's privacy or it's just the most random person ever which actually i will insert this woman who was doing karaoke on her live to like 30 people with like the eye contact filter on and i watched her for so long like i was just so mesmerized because i was like

damn dude she's literally just at work and she's passing the time and this is awesome but then you scroll another one and it's somebody like going around on the streets of la i watched this one for a long time because last night was a really nice foggy night and i was actually so upset that i was high so i couldn't drive around um because i don't believe in driving while you're high even though i feel like some people do that and i'm like you are literally actually insane you're still under the influence like get a life and like grow up but um i was so upset i couldn't drive around but he it's the dude i feel like some people do that. And I'm like, you are literally actually insane. You're still under the influence. Like, get a life and, like, grow up. But I was so upset I couldn't drive around. But he, it's the dude, I feel like you've seen him. He's, like, OG live streamer on, he has, like, a police radio.

And he literally goes to scenes that police are going to. Which is, one, dangerous. Two, also invasive. Like, he was yesterday, this was freaking me out. He was at the crime scene where someone had gotten shot. And he was yesterday this was freaking me out he was at the crime scene where someone had gotten shot and he was just on live stream and then also like that's a whole other thing because then i was like dude the 24-hour news cycle has gone gone to a new level where citizens are just partaking in it and like i don't know it was like last night i was literally

freaking the fuck out i was like this is so insane that I'm just sitting in my bed and I can see everything happening like everywhere. Everything, everywhere, all at once. Do you remember like two or three years ago, like when TikTok was getting really, really huge and like it was just like it was breaking through like the mainstream and like they just wasn't like chronically online people on TikTok anymore like everyone was on the internet like in the pan early pandemic and we would see like glimpses of like different cultures like like for in China for example like the most beautiful person you've ever seen like live streaming in like a cardboard cubicle underneath like an overpass like bridge and it was like hundreds of these girls just live streaming and i remember seeing that and being like dude that is so

dystopian like i cannot believe that is happening like what the fuck and now i like scroll down my tiktok feed and like literally that's essentially what like everybody on live in america is doing it's just like fully just like i don, like, and it's all selling something. Like, it's so bizarre. Like everything is like, and I mean, I'm like even guilty of this,

but like everything I see on my fucking feed is like selling something. And it's just like, it freaks me the fuck out. Like, like, I don't know, like late stage capitalism vibes for real. Like,

I'm like, also like on TikTok, I bought one fucking thing off the live store or the TikTok store. I bought like,'m like so also like on tiktok i bought one fucking thing off the live store or the tiktok store i bought like this is so embarrassing oh my fucking god i bought pokemon cards and it was crazy i bought pokemon cards for a guy to open them on a live stream and show me what pokemon cards i got so you paid a live disappointment yeah no exactly actually i did get a hit like it was actually fire i'm gonna go but that is so insane what is a hit what does that mean like he got a good card oh oh oh well they're all wrapped up yeah um but i paid for them on the live. I spent, I think, like $10 for him to open and ship the card,

and he opened the pack live. And then now all my TikTok store feed has been is Pokemon related, and I'm like, damn, that algorithm is, like, fucking vicious. Like, literally, I guarantee I could scroll down my feed right now and find, like, one fucking Pokemon video within 10 minutes. Or 10 seconds, I mean. It's so insane. So fucked up.

Our timelines are so different. It's, like, unreal. Drew, didn't you buy something else, too? There's so many things I want to do and see. Like redoing the basement without having to do it all myself. Or doing absolutely nothing with a spectacular waterfall view, of course. So I'm starting here, investing with RBC. When it comes to reaching your goals,

personalized advice and performance matter. And now you can get $300 when you invest with RBC. Offer ends March 3rd, 2025. Terms and conditions apply. Invest with RBC today. Oh, you bought food. Dude, stop. I think we need to talk about this.

No, hold on, hold on, hold on. I literally, oh, look, two videos back to back. I told you. Of Pokemon, yeah. Yeah. But on the TikTok feed, I was, or on the TikTok live store. I literally bought. So, OK, OK, like literally give me fucking like props because like if you know, you know, but. Yeah, I partially understand this, but buying this online and non-person is the crazy.

That's what makes this a crazy buy. I know it is. It is. Tell them what you got, Drew. I got a hot bowl, which with queso-flavored ruffles and a Coke, like a Pepsi. Like, leave me the fuck alone. Like, buying the Pepsi on top of all that is just so insane to me because you have Pepsi here. It was a bundle? Yeah, it was a bundle.

It was a bundle ruski. What was in the hot bowl, Drew? It was boiled eggs, red 40 red 40 like hot and sauce like it was sausage and like nasty i literally i'm not even joking i did not have a bite of it because it took two weeks to get here like and by the time it got here it fucking reaped and you actually had a bite of it and it wasn't bad i am like i grew up eating hot sausage and pickled eggs so i was like oh this might be good but then when he told me he ordered it online, I was like, that's going to sit in like, this person transferred this to a container from the original container, made this mixture,

put it into like a random container they bulk bought and sent it to you with like no preservation of it. It sat in a hot truck for two weeks. You did eggs that were in a DHL van. No, literally, like, smart boiling. I think it flew because the Pepsi, like, was almost exploded. Like, the end of it was, like, bulging out. Like, the air pressure had fucked it up.

But the craziest thing is it really did take two weeks to ship because TikTok has, like, the TikTokiktok shop like if you don't ship your order out within three days of getting the order the order is canceled so it like promotes like um fast shipping and like fast turnaround and processing times so that means she shipped it out in three days but it took 10 days to fucking get here they probably stopped it through the fucking postal service and was like what is this like they had a bowl of soup like like a lukewarm bowl of soup with like jalapenos boiled eggs sausages and like onions in it yeah i wish i took a picture of it i don't think i got a picture which is like one of the biggest regrets it tasted really fucking nasty

no no i think ind of it did anybody taste the egg no because even as somebody who eats pickled eggs like at least pickled eggs i know that like pickling foods is an old-time process but this wasn't a pickled egg it was literally an egg she boiled and threw in that fucking random ass bowl of like but that's the kind of shit like tiktok convinces me to buy like oh the best white T-shirt you'll ever have. Or, like, oh, a lip stain. Like, blah, blah, blah. And Drew's like, oh, my God. Do you want to see my cart?

A literal bowl of fucking acid and Pokemon cards. I need that. And slime, actually. He's bought slime. Oh, yeah. That makes a hell of slime. That's, like, a normal thing. All right.

Let's look at my cart right now. Dude, I have a really good video actually of Drew looking at slime on his. Oh, fuck, dude. My cart, everything's sold out. I really do want the pickle. Chamoy Skittles, Axolotl Stress Ball, Chamoy Gushers. And oh, I saw I was looking at these Rice Krispie Treats, like the Rice Krispie Treats on TikTok shop go hard as fuck.

I think I've said this before, but you know know when you go into a store and you're like, why did Reese's or like Hershey's or all these brands, what is this new random ass candy they made? Like, why are they doing that? Or like chip flavors and shit. And you look at it and most normal people walk into a store and they're like so weird. They go for the thing they were there initially for and they keep it pushing. Drew will try anything like your mouth is literally a garbage disposal you will put anything in that mouth yeah

oh anything literally yeah yeah we know yes you will yeah we know i'll put anything in this mouth yeah also guys sorry that my voice is fucked up i was screaming at the top of my lungs i was locked in a room i was trying to get were you in the mr beast video yeah he's actually mr beast's newest victim he's literally like developing logan paul syndrome because that kid in that video like cut his fucking leg open it was like dripping blood down his leg and it's getting really close to him accidentally beheading someone and i'm just waiting for the day like when David Dobrik flew his fucking friend around that fucking whatever. What is that thing? A ski duper?

The tractor thing. Tractor, what is it? I don't, girl, you're asking us what that machine is. A crane. The crane, yeah. Crane's in the sky. Mr. Beast is getting really close to being David Dobrik. Yeah, really flying too close to the sun and literally just like.

Mr. Beast is going to just like put people in cannons and shoot them into the into the ocean and literally he's like we're gonna see if this guy can go over three school buses via a cannon we made and it's like

they put like just only a helmet on him and then a Mr. Beast merch wait actually no this is they would cover him in the chocolate bars and be like

this will cushion your fall yeah literally um this is actually a really good idea that I think Mr. Beast should do more oiled up twerking booties in the video that's what I'm saying like this will cushion your fall yeah literally um this is actually a really good idea that i think mr b should do more oiled up twerking booties and that's what i'm saying he wants to reach an algorithm you made such a good point like mr beast wants a billion views on a video so bad like that's his dream i can i feel like he has like some videos that are like half a billion

i don't think so i think the most is like 280 000 squinch games squinch games i think got almost a billion no no i think it's i don't even think it's at half a billion yet i think it's 280 million but it's like it might be 400 but no yeah 500 million oh wow for squinch games wow he wants a billion views so bad but then i was thinking about it i was like how the fuck does he secure budgets like this but like of course some venture capitalists would want to be a part of this like he's getting more views than like any tv show has ever fucking gotten ever like it's it's unlike it's unprecedented it's unlike anything we've ever seen before like i wonder what so sustainable too i wonder what the like gdp impact what state does he live in south carolina

he run he dude he bought part of the charlotte hornets basketball team like he like is running shit like in fucking bitch he's running for fucking mayor oh my god he needs to run for mayor he he would win he would have a well no because most of his audience is too young to they're all like 12 they're like too young well Well, like 12-year-olds and 14-year-olds run the fucking internet. So like we're getting to the day and age where like 14-year-olds might be able to vote soon. Yeah, in four years. I mean, they already technically do because they like swing the decisions of so many fucking voters in different directions. Wait, what age can you vote?

18. It's 18, right? Yeah. I mean, Mr. Beast definitely has... Like a handful, yeah. A good amount. I mean, we are literally three mid-20, late-20-year-olds sitting here talking about Mr. Beast for 15 minutes.

So he definitely has 18-year-olds. I feel like he will win. If he runs for president, he will win. Yeah, we were talking about if Taylor Swift ran for president, it would be like a third party, like Republican, Democrat, Swifty. Like she would literally win. No, she would get those votes. That shit was real, right?

With the diapers. What diapers? You know, there were like photos of like seats at Taylor Swift concerts covered in shit. Are you kidding me? You didn't see that? No. Yeah, it was like people walking through like cleaning up after the the concert and there was like shit stains on the seats i'm pretty sure this is real where they can i pull up a picture i

literally need to see this so why is it because people like even during intermissions like they didn't want to i guess it is like the longest concert ever too it's like three hours that is so fucking funny performing for three hours like people wearing diapers and then it like going out of the diaper having a blowout like i know like when babies sit in car seats and have like liquid poop but they like have blowouts up their back like that's literally what was happening to taylor swift fans as they were having they were sitting in those damn seats for too long it was like they were like camping out and they just had like a backpack full of loaded diapers and then they just like had to empty them somewhere but they didn't want to go to the trash can maybe i made this up because i'm not

seeing it but it might have been scrubbed from the internet uh people confirmed wore diapers though and you know people were shitting in the diapers yeah 100 i mean that's like one of my dreams like i want to pee and poo in a diaper. Like, I want to piss and poo. You say it like it's not like an attainable dream. Like, you can do it. I think your body just won't let you. It is an attainable dream, but like, it is so like, you know, like internal homophobia.

Like, I have like internal diaper phobia. Like, I literally like, I'm like like i don't think i can do that like i don't know like if morally i'm allowed to all over my butt luna's standing up huh luna is standing up what really yeah isn't that that happens that fast bro no she's just advanced i swear to god she's like the most advanced not as advanced as that baby that we saw on tech talk that was two-year-old reading this guy was no that's scary his two-year-old baby he was like just found out randomly at this pet smart that my two-year-old son can read that's scary and it literally is he was holding his baby looking

at the fish and the baby just looked at the label and read it and was like uh like zebra fin and he was like what and he was like what and he's like zebra no he was saying like words like tetra and zebra and daniel and i was like bitch if i looked at that shit i wouldn't even be able to read it it's like dead ass some like glitch in the matrix like stream of consciousness like you know like give my baby away like i i always say like if you have an idea act on it immediately because there is like this thought ether that like everybody's inspired by the same shit and everybody's getting the same stream of information. So if you think of something, someone else will think of it because you had that thought. So act on it immediately.

But it has to be like something like that where the kid tapped into like a wavelength that we like can't even understand yet. The crazy shit. Because how do babies learn how to fucking stand and walk? Have you seen the babies that like flip through TikTok filters and they'll choose it and then they'll stand back and they'll like yes dance dude luna is like it dude the the iphone terrifying the iphone is literally like so evil and wicked and like it is literally harvesting of all us of all of our fucking juices and energy and money and like all of our time and energy like it's fucking crazy and it's so good at doing it and it's so like scientifically dialed in to like

activate every fucking chemical in synapse to fire in our brain all at once that like when luna sees this phone she has no idea what this is she's not cognitive enough she's never even used one or like been able to understand what people are doing on it but when she sees this fucking screen light up she crawls to it immediately like it's like and she has the biggest smile on her face and she like knows like what this is and it's just so fucking weird like it literally is so scary it's and it's because she's around every human she's seen with cognitive abilities has held one in their face and like smiled at it and laughed at it so she is immediately programmed to be like that's a good thing like i need that too so also babies just like

nowadays are growing up like i saw this funny picture but it was like baby's first time at disneyland like from their p or from our po, it's like us taking a picture of the baby. But from their POV, there's just like a black box in everything they see. And it's just like literally like so real. Like babies are going to grow up with like. With that being said, me and Drew will be waiting in line for the Vision. Apple Vision Pro. Yeah.

I'm going to suck and fuck my way to the front of the line. Yeah. I'm going to spend seven grand on the attachments the battery the vibrator whatever it kind of sounds like you're talking in two times speed right now does it actually yeah like you're the way your voice sounds right now i'm trying to compensate for the fact that my voice is fucked up so i'm like pushing kai your morning voice is fucking sexy. Is it sexy? Ew. Really? Is it actually? Do you like that? I have like a nice fucking morning voice.

All right, we're going to get demonetized. Ew. When is that coming out? Like what? Is that actually coming out? I think it's coming out next year. Yeah, next year. I'm pretty sure.

Why the fuck would they announce that shit so early? To revolutionize the game. Like I don't think y'all are understanding. It's literally just claim it's like we're doing it we're doing it we're doing it exactly i know it looks bunk as fuck and it's probably not gonna be that good but like do we remember what the first iphone did for the world like now we cannot live without a device with a touchscreen in our fucking pocket just imagine in a few years when like they figure this shit out where they make it smaller it's the size of a glass and then in 20 years it's the size of a fucking contact like we will literally be living in augmented reality like it's very very real like

we are on the precipice of like becoming borderline fucking cyborgs right now but yeah me and kai are waiting in line at the apple store for it just to feel something because like i just want to feel happy i just want to feel good i know and it's it is it does feel good to wait in line for something like it's like line like your obsession with lines is like very like real like because like if you think about it like there's such a big reward it's like it's not about it's literally about like nation it's about the journey no literally it's like so much fun can about the destination, it's about the journey. No, literally. It's like, so much fun can happen in a line

if you're with a friend. You can make some of the best conversation you've ever made because you're literally struggling to be entertained. Heads up by Ellen DeGeneres. You're like going through

the ups and downs. There's moments where you feel defeated and you're like, fuck, why did I wait in this line? Why am I in this line? This is so stupid. I feel like an idiot. I could have done better things. And then there's moments where the feel defeated and you're like fuck why did i wait in this line and why am i in this line this is so stupid i feel like an idiot i could have done better things and then there's moments where the line picks up a little speed and you're like oh my god like i'm getting

so close this was worth it i'm so happy we waited imagine we didn't wait like look how long the line got now like imagine we left and came back like we would have been fucked like there's so many things that happen in the human brain and then you finally get to the thing and you have the biggest peak of dopamine or serotonin you've ever had in your life and then it immediately drops because the thing you waited for was not as tantalizing and that's why foreplay is so important yeah yeah no it i feel like everything i've ever gotten has not lived up to the hype i've like wanted it to be like ever it's never ever nothing is ever good enough i'm not good enough i'm not good enough i'm not good enough i'm not good enough i was gonna say i'm right here and you got me why not the best no you're really scary actually

um well i'm not tapping into fucking augmented reality because i live in the real world and y'all are fucking weird and also um why does breastfeeding but organizing the milk sound i can tell you um breast milk is really good in florally tasting florally floral like it tastes like flowers it tastes flowery yeah like flowers have you had breast milk no you haven't yeah i've had hella breast milk i fucking love breast milk i don't know why you're buying that shit off etsy bro oh it's good protein no you buy't yeah i've had hella breast milk i fucking love breast milk i don't know why you're buying that shit off etsy bro oh it's good protein no you buy it off the tiktok shop we're like two seconds from people selling their breast milk i bet it's on there because they sell like weed

chocolate on there i've seen people selling psilocybin chocolate oh my god i signed a psilocybin thing yesterday i can't believe i've done this i literally can't believe you've done this i like can't believe it but fuck what was i gonna say what did you just say about oh the apple the apple glass one last thing and then we can move on from it and then we'll give in the breast milk but i mean i'm done with it i was just gonna say organizing my breast milk sounds fun i think it's like a nightmare is that like when you wait wait let me say this wait a bunch of bottles yeah a bunch of baggies to save okay okay so this is the last thing i'll say about like apple glass and augmented reality but like literally look around we are living in like a suffering dystopian society like it is a literally dystopia and like we are finally getting

like the good things of a dystopian future like fucking apple glass augmented reality yes i want to fucking escape this shit like okay we're seeing like the big sphere in las vegas like it's really scary and big but like buildings are like animated now like we're about to have fucking like this is the one thing you consider that the the good part that's that's what'm saying. Nothing is good in dystopia except for augmented reality and buildings that fucking are covered in LEDs. But they literally destroyed everything around us to force us into that. That's what I'm saying. Like, thank God we're getting the good things finally.

Like, Kai gets what I'm saying. I'm so against all the fucking... Thank God we have the TV sphere that we can like- Like literally- Watch an emoji on. But also we're like two steps away from, you've seen the drone shows where they like send up the drones. Those are going to be Coca-Cola advertisements in like five years. They're going to be floating above the fucking SoFi stadium turning. But all right, let's get back into breast milk.

I'm just so against that dystopian ass future. Like, and I also don't believe in it. Like I literally don't believe in an augmented reality. I don't believe in it being fulfilling. I believe in it, like, to me, it's like the same ideas, like cryptocurrency and stuff. Where it's like people who are going like a little too ahead because they wanted so badly to be the martyrs of a cause just to turn around and be like okay so that didn't work out but that's okay because that's just the first run and we'll try again next time and it's like yeah you gotta fail to succeed i feel like i will suck and fuck my way into the front of the line

for the apple store but i do agree with you 100 i feel like it's net negative like we're just creating bigger and bigger problems like the ai shit we're just creating like the matrix goo pod. Like we don't need that. You know what I mean? And I also, the theme of my thought process over the last year has just been like, I wish I just didn't know like any of this shit. I wish I was just. Ted Kaczynski, let's move to the woods and blow up the fucking, let's blow up every technology ever. I'm not like pro blowing stuff up, but I am like, I'm pro like not knowing. I just said he was pro blowing things up. i am like i'm pro like not knowing i just

said he was pro blowing things up no that was a weird thing to say because drew was testing you and i passed it 21 21 that's where everything went wrong like that was the end of everything like to me the furthest technology has to play in my life is the fact that we can sit and re-watch the same youtube videos and laugh like that is as far as i need technology to take me and like posting my fun little pictures and doing this and then i just don't need it anymore because it literally is so weird it is last night i'm not kidding i was like freaking the fuck out in my bed like i was trying to sleep but i literally couldn't because i was just being bombarded with how scary it is that like just 24

7 surveillance and i used to not care like when i was younger i'd be like who gives a fuck bitch like watch me through my fucking macbook i don't give a fuck and now i'm like what is there on this planet for me and just me nothing because i also won't shut the fuck up so like that's that's a different okay but back to breast milk um can i has your breast milk please i'm i'm forcing all my friends to drink some of my breast milk when i have some uh you're not gonna have to force me i'm gonna be drinking along with that fucking baby i'm gonna make everybody oh my god i'm gonna be the first person to do a breast milk infused smoothie at air one oh wow i mean breast milk is hella good for you like if you have like psoriasis or some like inflamed eczema on your skin like pour a cup of breast

milk into your bath water and like that shit will fix it i need madeline to give me some for the eczema around my mouth it's it's yeah it literally is because there's women whose babies have bad eczema and psoriasis and they'll mix like an oatmeal oatmeal bath because like oat is really good for dry skin with their breast milk and they're like it is insane how like quickly it changed it because they used to just do like oat baths and like all these medicines but a lot of the medicines that you use for eczema and psoriasis are literally like because it's not necessarily necessarily curable but a lot of them have steroids in it to make it seem like it cured your situation but really your face becomes reliant on it because that's literally what's happening to me like i have really bad eczema around my mouth and the

cream i use i'm 100 allergic to like it makes all around my lips like overly sensitive and like warm and like feel really weird and it burns my eyes like you're just like treating the symptom yeah you're just like treating the symptom and you can't cure it but breast milk does like eradicate the fuck out of it so i need some of madeline's breast milk for my face yeah and i need her to just squirt it directly onto my face though oh that's my fucking sister okay and that's my girl well me and kai and inyo were having a very serious discussion and they fully agree with me on this and like this is borderline they're saying but they agree that women should stop breastfeeding in public because

it's nasty and you're a slut what oh my god i don't i don't think we said that oh now you're saying i was actually saying the opposite i was saying you know how like there's kiss cams. There needs to be tit cams in public places. So if a woman is breastfeeding, the camera goes on to them and then it gets displayed to everybody. And actually, it's like really fucked up and like weird. And I don't know why I'm admitting that. I think that's OK. It is really bizarre that like women can't freely breastfeed in public because people like Kai are there. Dude, what are you talking about?

I look away immediately if i notice that shit is happening i actually will sprint away so you hate women's body it's weird it's so weird like why is that a sexualized thing i know it is fucking insane it's like that baby literally needs its food and you're gonna force this woman into a pod like the airport pod i'm like this is too crazy it's so crazy that like in the airport there's literally pods why can't this mother sit at the gate and feed her child without people being fucking freaks people are just weird and nasty and like women will never escape the cycle of being sexualized and it is so upsetting and awful and i think men should kill them maybe we give i agree i agree men should kill

themselves i agree can i suck your boots now um wait i actually just taking that 10 seconds well i hate when you're standing in line for the bathroom which i don't feel like y'all would know this experience but when you're standing in line in a woman's restroom and like the line is filling up and there are people who just like cut through to like look to see if the bathroom is actually full. You, if you do that, you piss me the fuck off. That is so you coded though. Why the fuck do you think? No, because-

I'm just fucking with you. I was literally about to get so upset at that. Because why the fuck do you think we're standing in line in a public restroom right now for fucking fun? The line to the tampon machine. Like what the fuck do you think we're in line for? I hate when bitches do that. And then they'll look and they'll be like,

have you checked if the stalls are open like are you dumb right now bitch you want me to fuck one of the greatest inventions ever um i see it at airports and bathrooms are the green and red lights above the toilets in the parking spots like that's co-country like that's we ate with that like if their light is green it's open if's red, it's occupied and you don't have to walk up to it. Is that a thing? Yeah. I don't know if it's in bathrooms. Yeah. I've been in airports with those.

Wow. Yeah. It's really it's really. How does it know? Is it because of the lock? Actually, it might be. I was going to just say some bullshit that there's like a sensor in there, but it probably is like the lock. But those, you know, those cameras on the toilet that

like the sensors are actually cameras looking up your vagina and your i without fail always think that and i will never not think that and i'm like it's like how ever since i saw the video of somebody taking the thing out of an atm or like a gas station pump like the card oh i do that every time ever since like i saw the video of somebody committing fraud and like they rip it out they're like dude they were scanning everybody's cards i look at everything and i'm like that is fake and it is a replica on top of the actual thing to surveillance me right now it is literally tracking me it's gonna be augmented reality in a couple years you're so annoying um but yeah uh i only even said the bathroom thing because we were in malibu

at this restaurant and this woman came in and there was a regular restroom and then the employees only restroom and she was like what's that and then we were like it's employees only and she goes well we can just go in there and all of us literally said nothing because we were like bitch you need to fucking kill yourself because she went and wiggled the handle and tried to open the employees only bathroom. She was like, why don't you one of you go get the key to like ask one of the employees since the line is so long. Why don't you? I know. And we were like, none of us said anything.

But I know all of us were like, bitch, why don't you fucking do that? And she just got in the line. She's like, this is ridiculous. And we were we've already been in the line for 15 minutes. So, bitch, why the fuck are you getting in this line and like trying to like start conversation with us like shut the fuck up and then the man she was with got behind her was like oh now i see why it's taking so long because you girls you girls just take so long in those bathrooms and no one said anything and no one said anything and then one girl was like yeah i need to go in there and do my blowout like like

do a like a hair blowout her back out yeah with what well she had her she had a rose toy in her hand which i was like wow level three rose toy level three what is what was that dude that was like not what was that i'm easy i'm an alien i'm extra hey see there's levels to this bar shit that if you get it you get it but like you gotta read between the lines motherfucker hey you're shaking i'm not it's just when i like my tendons you You have no dexterity? No, I got that. Because you don't be fingering. You don't be fingering? Yeah. Look at this.

I got too much dexterity. You're literally shaking so bad. You're like trembling. Drew, look at your nails really quick. Look at your nails. Okay. What? Were you seeing if he was going to go like this?

What? You know, the fucking was going to go like this? What? You know, the fucking gay test for middle school? Yeah. I never saw it. I just know it. I did. I failed that. And I actually remember it in seventh grade.

And everyone was like, oh, you're gay. And I was like, that doesn't make sense. I remember, like, not knowing what it was in seventh grade and someone doing it to me and me passing as a straight man and like literally being like like i literally am straight but like i'm not hiding anything yeah i remember that like actually kind of like being like determining for people like for that week oh i guess maybe i am questioning sexuality i'm queer questioning i wonder what like if that that has to still those antics have to still be a thing in certain areas like probably gotten so much worse like i guarantee like the pendulum has fucking swung like yeah young kids are really scary they're evil like i'm literally scared every

time i walk next to a kid like like, or a fucking 17-year-old. I'm, like, terrified of 17 and 18-year-olds right now. Like, y'all are scary, and I know you're watching this. You scare me. You know too much. Wow. Yeah, I don't like seeing groups of teenagers out because it really upsets me. Also, where are your parents?

Like, I don't know. Like, when we went to Halloween Horror Nights, there were there were so many like groups of teenagers hanging out late at night and i was like literally where are your parents like i can't believe your parents left you here alone also why is it legal for them to be there alone like i don't know why i just it felt so so odd like we're in a place where they serve alcohol like why are you here alone like it feels really not normal no it's like a vibe i remember going to six flags alone for the first time and it being like i'm like a grown-up now like i can do things like this but my mom was just waiting at the denny's across the street like they're there but halloween horror nights was fucking lit like it was so funny like i was like i'm not scared as shit like nothing scares me and then

like when those motherfuckers with the chains shit like nothing scares me and then like when those motherfuckers with the chainsaws like came up and blew that fucking exhaust in my face literally gave me carbon monoxide literally was like and like blowing the exhaust my face i was like bruh like chill i can't breathe i lost brain cells i was actually scared i'm just like so i've realized like oh my god okay yeah um sorry i've just realized like i'm not i'm like not easily scared like that but more than anything like i'm just so embarrassed like i'm so easily embarrassed by like the antics of it and i understand that's just me being a bitter person a bitter hater i know i know trust and believe but like i just like couldn't like i i couldn't like i just would see them and i'm like ew you're literally in a costume trying to scare me right now bobby brown's residency like in the stranger

thing she does how much is she getting paid to do that only like 60 bucks a day what yeah she did it because she loves her fans jimmy bobby brown fell the fuck off no but she ate the girl at the end i was like like the theatrics of it all was like yeah that's the thing is like so at halloween horror nights there's a bunch of themed houses so there's like Stranger Things Last of Us like an evil dead one like there's all these themes but the ones that are like show based like the Last of Us they have actors in there like playing scenes and this is so fucked up and I like feel so bad for saying this but there was this one part where Elle's character whatever her fucking name is from Last of Us like the character also like it's just so funny to see like obviously they cannot hire a 14 year old to play a 14 year old it has to be an adult playing a 14 year old but

all the adults playing the 14 year old like looked 28 they were just short they were just like really short girls and there was this one scene where like walking through she's like behind the gate and she's like um this is awkward is awkward, and, like, moves, and I really wanted to get it on video, so I stood there trying to get it, and it was dark, and I stood there for way too long, and she saw me trying to film her, because it's literally her behind the gate going, oh, this is awkward,

and I'm moving to the side, and I got a video. It was so sad. It was literally so sad. This is so fucked up, and I'm so sorry. She started hiding from me she literally ran away from the camera and she missed her cues like because it also like thinking about how halloween or like uh haunted houses work it's just him repeating like the same motion over and over and like it has to be on time and they have to like know it on time but like it was just playing

on the speaker and she wasn't like banging on the glass well this is awkward like she wasn't that was her line dude yeah that was her line because dude if you watch the show like some of that girl's dialogue sucked so bad so it's literally dialogue from the show and some dude some of the shit they made that kid say i was like what the fuck is happening but that's like she was like 37 in the show or like in real life that's a 37 year old woman the girl who played the girl no she's literally fucking like 37 you're so not you scared me I was like dude damn she looks really young she looks great but yeah I got a video of her like hiding because I couldn't see like at first because I was just

in this like loud room I was looking at my at first because I was just in this like loud room I was looking at my phone and I was like where is she like I'm not seeing her on camera I was like oh maybe it's just too dark so I turned my flash off and then I realized like I was like oh wait she's literally hiding from me and you can vaguely see like through the cracks she's like at the side like waiting for me to move so she can keep doing it she's to be blinded by your flag. But I felt really bad. And if somehow this crosses your page, I swear I'm not making fun of you. It was just funny to me that this is awkward in this like haunted house. And I'm really sorry, but it's cracking me up. What they need, like a really actually scary haunted house, like one, like the scariest

thing I can imagine and that this would be really easy to do is just a um a haunted house where there are no oiled up twerking booties like everywhere like imagine a world like imagine a world like where that's not happening like i can't even imagine you coming out shaking and crying like sweating like i'm withdrawing from opiates because i like need it i had a i had a question uh would you guys still let me be the producer of the podcast if i was a worm no yeah you're you're barely making it now you're barely making the cut now i'd squitch you all right when you say worm the thing is like this really goes see like goes to show how i

view you because when you said worm i was thinking more like maggot larva like this like i wasn't even thinking like you weren't even like an earthworm yeah in my mind i'm an earthworm i was thinking of you like as a fishing lure like yeah like a caterpillar that's about to turn into a butterfly and metamorphosize into something great okay all right we i got the answer um okay yeah i mean don't ask the tough questions that you don't want the tough answers you're actually hella right also i stopped watching plane crash videos and murder documentaries and i am no happier than i was before like if anything like i was saying like i just need to like tap back in

like drinking cokes or stopping like it's the same idea like when i stopped drinking a coke like stop drinking sodas and like doing cocaine and shooting up heroin and smoking meth like you didn't get happier worse like i feel worse so i just fall back into those habits like like it's like the people who are like i cut out coffee whoa i cut out coffee like ah like i feel so much better one no you don't two you're lying to yourself three you're fucking boring four is coffee bad for you i think people because it's like if you take melatonin a lot you are depleting your natural chemicals that like make you sleepy can i just say one thing don't talk to me until i've had my fucking cup a cup of coffee okay exactly just don't even speak to me until i've finished it don't talk to me until i've

macro dosed porn yeah y'all are on that micro dosing shit with porn like don't talk to drew until he's gooned for seven hours edging and and gooning session. I don't know what that is. Honestly, that makes me so happy for you. I don't know what that is. You know what edging is. I know what edging is. I don't know what gooning is. It's kind of the same thing.

Edging is good for you. Yeah. Promotes testosterone. Makes you last longer in bed for the ladies. Oh, we all know those 30 second and over guys. Whoa. I met Five Nights at Freddy's. I literally did like i'm not even fucking you're like literally on a crazy tip how do we get

invited to the premiere of five nights at freddy's like i feel like we could make that happen i think we did no yeah i think oh no no no i got invited to the premiere of i'm not gonna say that i'm not bragging um okay well one last thing i want to talk about before we move on to media and drew siop corner is uh y'all have you seen the insurrection of mojang no mojang minecraft mojang they are the community is finally i was thinking of uh the restaurant mojangles i thought i thought that's mojangles mojangles yeah it's mojangles oh i thought you're talking about a restaurant no i'm talking about minecraft the community is finally like uniting and rising up against minecraft and all their crimes against the community like every so often

like there's a voting system where you get to vote for like a new critter to be added to the game they could add all three like why don't they add all three and they make us vote and the community is like just add all three of them. You already had all three of what? The critters, like the new animals, like the bees, the cows, the horses.

That's what this is about? I thought it was like they were taking money from like developers. I always imagine like a January 6th event on Notch's house. They know they are. What?

But it's over the critters. We need to do that for Fortnite and get rid of the fucking chickens and all the animals that attack you because it's so fucking pointless. Like the amount of times I've been on such a grind, but I get caught in the fucking storm and then I get out and a fucking chicken is attacking me. Like that's the last thing I need on my plate. Do you remember the wolves in Fortnite? Dude, yes.

They were so fucking annoying. They were so annoying. We had such a domestic like last few nights together that it was literally cracking me up like when we were sitting watching love is blind on the couch and we were both in pj sitting there i literally was looking at you i was like oh my god this is literally what married couples do like we ate dinner and then we were sitting and watching tv and like it felt so funny like it was just cracking me up and then we made dinner last night yeah sometimes we fall into such a like yeah we literally made dinner for for Orion and she came over.

I was like, this is literally so funny. Like, we have fully hit mid to late 20s. Like, we are there. Like, there's no... Wait, what? Our mid-18s. Oh, yeah, because you're 17. Are you excited to turn 18?

I feel like it's been forever. Yeah, I'm excited to finally be fucking legal. What's the first thing you're going to do when you're 17 are you excited to turn 18 i feel like it's been forever yeah i'm excited to finally be fucking legal what's the first thing you're gonna do in your legal age vote oh wow vote for joe biden that's really responsible we did it joe i'm gonna vote for marianne williamson she likes birds it's a real person she likes birds and she's really sweet and she's like oh wow well that was this episode no wait do like my name's jessica no i had a really good one the other day oh i know our other one was um my name is sadie and I like to sing My name is Sadie Sims Josiah come here

I did a really good one last night Oh wait I know what mine was My name is Sadie and I like to sing. My name is Danielle and I built Larchmont Village. My name is Steven Peterson and I built Larchmont Village. My name is Tyler and I love the Hollywood Bowl.

What is that? What has it become? My name is Jessica Bale and I've won 18 Emmys! Oscars! Is Jessica Bale not a person? Jessica Biel. Oh, Biel. Biel? Like steak? No, steak? Like goats.

I'm the fucking goat. goated hey greatest of them all yeah if we cut you up and ate it and we'd be eating veal yeah and if we cut you up and ate it uh you would be like ground sausage no i'd be like ground sardines i'd be a sardine paste fishy fishy fishy all right well media of the week is love is wine duh and my uh i only have one thing to say for song media and it's i want you the deluxe version by marvin gaye which i think is what i said last time and then i just listened to when the morning comes by daryl hall and john oats like eight times this morning and it made me so happy um mine is wonder wall by ryan adams um uh sugar ross i think sugar ross i fucking love them just listen to the music get into it yeah

um then what the fuck was that song i was listening to i was blasting it in the car oh well um y'all want to get those two what'd you say oh yeah yeah the new 10 tricks point never album y'all tap and that first song is like so goddamn good. That was gorgeous. Best intros to an album I've ever fucking heard in my life. Other than Bambi by Claro. I re-listened to Sling.

And Bambi is such a good opening song to an album. It's crazy. The whole album is literally just so cool. It's like the best parts of all of OPN's music and albums that I like mixed into one album. And it's really freaking good. Please listen to it. And Invisible Man by The Breeders. Please listen to it.

Okay, let's get into Drew's Psyop Corner. Welcome to Drew's Psyop Corner. I need a couple of y'all's ugly assass boyfriends to sit on my porch this Halloween. That's stupid. You looking for applause? Oh, wait, no, you're calling me and Kai the ugly boyfriend. Yeah. Oh.

I pray body dysmorphia is real, because if it's not i'm ugly as fuck imagine if you died on spotify rap day and your friends had to figure out what they were gonna post to their stories first your obituary or their spotify wrapped dude if my friends mix up their story with me and their spotify wrapped i would literally haunt them from the dead like you can't just wait a few days imagine if you died on emergency intercom release day and your funeral was planned at the same time and you have to decide if you're going to listen to emergency intercom or go to your friend's you just said imagine if you died die die die. All of you die.

I have one more, but it sucks. I definitely would have been stoned to death in a town square. I don't think that sucks because it's true. Yeah, it's true. Oh, my fucking God. Drake, I cannot believe I did not put this earlier in the episode. And we might have to put this earlier in the episode because I know bitches are not listening this deep. Drake, fuck you.

Fuck you, Drake. Oh, my God. Why are you doing this? He literally pissed me the fuck off. So, one, he wants to go online and say, oh, everything Drew is saying about us hooking up and shit is not real. Bitch, I have the fucking footage. Do you want me to release the fucking footage of your tiny penis,

you and Kanye giving each other back shots? i fucking will and then you have the audacity the fucking audacity to put a song about me on your album hello drew's a picasso drew is a picasso fuck you now you're calling me a work of art all of a sudden yes i have a nice body yes i have a monster fucking dick yes i blew your fucking back out how the fuck are you not oh my god i'm so actually fucking pissed you shouldn't even do like you. How the fuck are you not? Oh my God. I'm so actually fucking pissed. You shouldn't even do like you were ignoring the fact that you signed like a crazy NDA. And I don't know why you're saying all of this. Like you're going to get in trouble.

He knows if he tells me I broke the NDA, he knows his nudes are getting leaked and he's embarrassed. He's an embarrassed guy. Drake, delete the fucking song or tell him who it's really about. Have you listened to the song? Because I haven't. I haven't either it's probably like terrible the new album is good actually unironically uh the sexy red song is like the one that's the one all right well thanks for listening to this episode guys i hope you have

an amazing day um and i hope nobody had any comments to make about my scary bangs all right oh someone made a this is Drew Phillips playlist I like that cover Drew can I use the toilet no you need to go home and use your own fucking toilet can I please use yours I have to pee he's gonna get our fucking shit released

what did you just ask me what did you just ask me Drew can I please use the toilet I need to pee so bad can I please use the toilet ew look at his legs ew are those new shoes yeah these are new shoes you actually ate them up

I had to tap into the sambas just as they were exiting you're the last tap into the sambas just as they were exiting you're the last person to wear sambas you were the last person known to mankind to purchase sambas you know what fucking sucks is now the onosuka tigers are literally the new sambas and that's okay because it's such a niche bubble that's why i got i posted them first i'm such a fucking annoying ugly piece of shit you cannot be saying that kyle i said kai i like to call him kyle can i please pee in the toilet drew no okay stop cut that okay you're done you're done i'm the toilet you're saying you're gonna pee on me no all right thank you guys for listening bye Bye.