Emergency Intercom - Orion's episode

Episode Date: June 30, 2023

Drew and Orion reminisce on the first time they met and were forced to kiss. Enya and Orion talk about the first time they cried together and Orion tells and awful roommate horror story This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/INTERCOM today to get 10% off your first month Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Oh, to yourself, because you went to your room alone and you fell asleep after giving yourself head. Yeah, you know you guys have a couple ribs removed. Yeah. Oh, wow. You have been looking really skinny. Yeah, I have a snatched waist. I got my ribs removed like Marilyn Manson.

Yeah. And it's actually really, really special. Is that real? Did he actually do that? No, he didn't. Yeah, that's did he actually do that no yeah that's why he's wearing that hoodie it's like covering up he has a lot of bandages and stuff so you really sensitive i'm covering it up with um this hoodie that is emergency intercom merch that is out july 7th probably we have no idea what this is too as well yeah we handmade this for orion

version yeah exactly my girls know me. Yeah. So we had to get her right. Also, we did an intro, but welcome back to Emergency Intercom. Long awaited guest. Very long awaited guest. The most asked for person by a fucking landslide by Fleetwood Mac on the episode today, which is really crazy

Orion they had to fight tooth and nail for this I know literally and you know what it is too even I like this is just annoying but I'm like I don't want them to see how well we get along I know exactly like you're getting too much of me right now

and it's terrifying to be perceived. So like keep that in mind. No, actually don't. Don't. I need a reality check. Yeah. Exactly.

You need to be humbled. At this point in my life, I need a major one. Don't ask for that because to be funny, people will be like, okay, fine. And they'll be like, I actually don't mean that. To be the top comment. I don't mean that. I actually don't mean that. Once you finish watching this,

act like you've never seen Orion and like you've never heard her voice ever again. Yeah, thank you. Have you done a podcast before? Yeah, you... Yeah, I have, but like a...

With a normal person. A serious one. With normal people where they're asking me very like serious questions. So when... Even like thinking about this, I'm like, fuck,

like here I go. Okay, well, I have a serious question for when even like thinking about this i'm like fuck like here i go yeah okay well i have a serious question for you okay was that your first love actually what why does it always have to go here like okay no go i want like well if i'm being honest and it might hurt your feelings no okay wow it's oh my god it's her i haven't wow it's and you don't understand actually no no no if we're being wow realistic here drew low-key was i was gonna bring that story up i was gonna bring that story up okay okay oh wait oh y'all talking about playlist or vidcon or something yeah i'll let you start i i go from your point of view yeah from my point of view i only knew drew from the online sphere and i never had met him in person

and he had walked in the room we were all in like a hotel like party and it was there weren't that many people no it was were enough people to be embarrassed by the situation, but it wasn't filled to the brim. Also, it was the first time I have ever seen other people on the internet that I kind of look up to. I walked into this room and I was like, holy shit, there's Ricky and Denzel in here and blah, blah, blah. These are people that I love on the internet. Yeah, that you see on the internet so fucking jarring but keep going anyway drew

walked in and he's a new face i hadn't seen him before and you just looked so shy and so don't like i was and it was a precious moment to witness and i turned to a friend and i said oh drew's here he's so cute and like the friend in question wasn't a real friend for screaming at the top of her lungs she like drew passed by and she screams hey drew oh ryan thinks you're really cute it was so awful like darted away i was so embarrassed like it was so humiliating because like it felt like drew like ran no i literally did ran and i'm like stuck in this position where i'm like uh no i i did not you're not cute you're not hot i don't think you're cute you're ugly ugly actually that's what i would say that no and then drew left yeah and like well she she was like um y'all should make out y'all should kiss right now in front of everybody.

Like, kiss, kiss, kiss. This friend notoriously was obsessed with watching people kiss. And I was like in my head because I was like, oh, I've never been in this space before. Like, I'm like petrified. And then I walk in and I'm immediately like in my head being made fun of. And you chickened out. A hot girl calls out to you. Well, then I invited her to my room later.

But we won't talk about that. We didn't tell you about that part. Oh, y'all. Okay,'t talk about that oh y'all okay well the less i know the better it was it was sweet it was sentimental it was it was a big moment it was like something that's kept between us for a reason yeah i mean now it's not between y'all i mean was it that sentimental it's probably just like like out of necessity like human nature it's not even like emotional when was the first time y'all met i don't remember the first time we hung out i don't either well in la like y'all i remember there was like a moment oh i remember our first time hanging out in la like that i remember but like the very first time we met i could not even tell yeah i couldn't tell you i think we were just

in such different worlds yeah and even it was probably at a similar situation where like we were in a group of a bunch of people passing like hi hello the reason why i don't remember is probably because it's not as traumatizing as my brain at this point only like remembers the horrible or the really good things yeah so bad i remember the first time we like had a moment where we were like oh my god we're like gonna be friends it was so good it's because and i think it was especially good because we didn't like really know each other yeah because we were being put in we were all on a social media tour when we were younger and me and orion started being put in rooms together but even then we would not interact i don't even remember like and it's not even like i was like i don't want to fucking be friends with this girl it was literally just you just

had your group of friends i had my group of friends and it was just the convenience of us staying the same it was just the two girls it was just the two guys the two girls on tour it's like they're getting the room yeah like oh you're a girl you're a girl like y'all will get along and we did accidentally by kismet drew left tour yeah you like when you quit and so it was anya and i were there left and i remember we were it was like three in the morning we were both in our separate beds and we had like our backs turned from each other like keep in mind like we didn't really know we like literally i we hadn't i don't think we had ever it was like college roommate the one time we had spoken before that was when we took that god awful fucking picture because we found out we were both honduran and we were like oh my god like i don't

have any honduran homegirls so disgusting and it's literally like we have to show the picture on tiktok like canon event that was our canon no it was like we just met at the stairwell took a photo and then it was like okay bye see you later yeah but like i was gonna say do you remember the fucking picture of you and i like the first picture we took together and it's my giant fucking nasty hair like gross fucking i remember i remember that actually like i mean just like that trip yeah i don't really. Yeah. What city were we in? I don't even know. I literally don't know.

Do you remember your last one? Like what city you were in? No, not at all. Okay. It might have been like Orlando or some shit like that. Maybe. I don't know. Or maybe it was Atlanta.

No, we literally all have brain fog because we were being like drugged and like baby fed alcohol to stay on a tour. That was like our college experience. Yeah, no, literally. But Anya and I, we, I was like crying because I was like in a relationship and the person I was dating was being really fucking mean to me. Scary. Scary, terrifying. It was, it was like actually purgatory for me. Scary. Scary, terrifying. It was actually purgatory for me. Yeah. So I was silently crying because throughout that entire relationship, let's actually just start, I was silently crying.

And I hear like Enya also silently crying. And I like turn around and she's like crying into her pillow. And I'm also crying into my pillow and i just like i think i said something first i turned to you and i was like are you crying yeah literally then she's like yeah and then i just like got up and went to her bed and like held her oh yeah we literally just know each other we didn't know each other and we just sat there and cried together and it was like i'm literally about to tear up about it like why is that so sweet that is literally so fucking cute is at the time i was like not an emotionally open person like i didn't even cry to you about it when you left like i acted all chill i was

like bye like dude i yeah i wasn't emotionally available and i fucking sobbed on the way to the airport i think it was like new jersey or something because like it was it was because i was with jake and dana and i was sobbing in the back seat of the car and they were in the front seat like giving like side eyes to me because like a grown man is crying in the backseat of this car right now. It's like hella awkward. And I was like, oh, man, I'm 17. Well, he's still 16. Yeah. Well, you just turned 17.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But no, it was like that was like the first time I was emotionally available to. But I think it was like New was like the first time i was emotionally available too but i think it was like uh new jersey yeah that makes sense because also you know what's funny is i just remembered thinking about this i remember the next morning we did start talking because we started telling each other why we were crying yeah and you were explaining your whole situation i mean you were talking about moving to la because that was before you moved to la and you were like yeah i don't know like i don't know if i like want to do that move yeah and i was just like i'm gonna do that move like

sooner than later and we were just like yeah and we were really talking about it because i had just started seeing someone at the time so we i was like telling you about that um but i just wait what were you crying over oh um because since i i was crying over you because since i wasn't gonna see you i wouldn't get to see your mom's stinky pussy her begenie I would get to have sex with her stinky begenie and you cried over me it's funny because you just said you were a grown man

sobbing in the back of a car with two other people I got bitches I cried and I got we got physical touch and it could have escalated had I had self self-control. See, this is why.

Right, right, right. No, right, right, right. See, this is why men don't cry and shouldn't cry. Because I cried and it was embarrassing. Yeah, yeah. It's funny you consider yourself a man. Oh, wow. I was a man last night.

I was a man last night. It's funny because I thought you were a man but uh you're just a little boy girl what and hunger and hunger hurts like oh hunger really does fucking hurt should we talk about those little escapades a little bit not into detail but the pch moments oh our pch vibes yeah but i'm like what is there to discuss other than like crying crying despair driving up pch listening to literally made all three of us so much closer and also like me and orion i feel like without covid would not be this close y'all are the scissor sisters yeah we were we were hanging out consistently but i think there was like this emotional level that we couldn't break

past yeah um because there was just honestly just so much thing surrounding it there was like shame and fear and it was just like awkward yeah and we also I mean I've had really close female friendships before but I hadn't yeah so it was like navigate like trying to navigate that with you was honestly it was hard but then like you came around you know what it was too I think yeah it's just I didn't have a lot

of I still don't have a lot of close like female relationship you're definitely the most intimate female relationship I have in my life yeah neither do I yeah cause you get no bitches but that's like separate besides the point but yeah i think because of that it's just i didn't know how to do it also i don't think i was like super emotionally open with the whole friend group either like anybody yeah until like late 2019 early 2020 because i just had reached a point

where like i was going to therapy so much i could talk also i was like a fucking annoying bitch like you literally couldn't talk to me about anything without me being like actually yeah you literally you had it right yeah i was literally like i was just kind of a an annoying brat and then life happened and that's what happened i do feel like i am probably the only person in your life that can like argue against oh my god i literally can't i know what you're talking about i'm not gonna bring that up no we have to bring it up we have to bring it up but that will argue against you but you'll like actually listen to me yeah like more so but so oh my god no literally so like we went to Texas like for Easter to like see my family and like we got a hotel room and we were just like there's nothing

to do in Granbury so we were just like mobbing around hanging out with my family and then like going to fucking Walmart and shit and one of the times literally I don't even know why we went there just literally to Key because that's what you're doing. I'm bored. Like literally. And like we are like, I don't know what y'all are butting heads about, but Enya and Arash. Dude, we were arguing over the dumbest shit ever. The dumbest shit. Yeah, and it's not even worth it. I'm not going to mention it.

It was literally just semantics. It was like, it was solved with a Google search, but even the google search proved that enya had to be right i still am like i'm right but that's okay we like no we moved on we moved on and but they were fighting like i've never seen anybody in their group you know what it was we were like literally debating we like it was more of a debate yeah fighting it was genuinely like you would have swore one of us was gonna walk away with a fucking nobel yeah no something about me like i literally like debates like walking with his head down behind us like really like so small you was you felt so fucking small it was insane crazy and i was trying not to laugh throughout the whole thing

because like i'm like i'm like looking at you oh i was laughing yeah you were like drew is so uncomfortable right now and i was like i'm so scared at you oh i was laughing yeah you were like drew is so uncomfortable right now and i was like i'm so scared my girls are fighting awesome is that's also why we were like wait okay we gotta cut this because like this motherfucker is literally freaking out yeah yeah literally making our child in the car uncomfortable like have to choose between which divorce parent he'll go with no no but genuinely it was for me so comical that i kept laughing because drew's in the corner of like my left eye like like a sad puppy and any is on this side like debating me and then eventually y'all are like master debaters though like y'all are like really good at master

debating you have like two people who have like such strong opinions who think they're like more like their morals will change the zeitgeist of the fucking millennium crazy it was really crazy and like it was exactly like exactly no literally when you get two dumb bitches in the room saying exactly to each other our thing more is like no literally no no that's what i've been saying this whole fucking time yeah like and i'm so glad you met me there because like I was here. And where were you? And you and Ryan could be the most wrong about something anybody has ever been wrong about.

And if one of them agrees with them, it's they're the right person. They're doing the right thing. And we're going to agree. At this point, we are going to agree. There was a time where I was like, no, just like, no. But I've taken her moral compass and matched it to my moral compass and even if you put the two together it still wouldn't be right yeah exactly no no no like it is though no it is like i'm unironically some of the shit like y'all like

are wrong right about i'm like no like y'all are right about but it's probably because y'all have skewed my moral compass as well but like okay so let me put it on paper from only my perspective and then we're all like yes yes that is so true um but that's i think that's the only like real argument we've gotten into yeah and it wasn't even real heads over other shit but like we never argued over it was just like like i will say like one thing i really love about our dynamic is that there isn't room for arguing like if i'm upset you will text me like a dissertation to be like i don't know what i did but i'm sorry or like vice versa yeah 100 where like i can't even like get to the point of arguing because it's like what's the fucking point y'all are communicators yeah we. We're women. What did you say?

We are master debaters. Yeah, debaters. No, we're master debaters. Yeah. Minus the D. Yeah, exactly. Whoa. The Wingbot girls. Let's talk about our Wingbots.

Let's talk about the Wingbot. Like, the creator of Wingbot is here. You are the founder of Wingbot. Yeah. I don't know how it happened, but it just did. It felt right right you know like it's literally because i went to your house one day and i saw and i was like i literally have that and then you were like oh my wingbot and i was like that's what you call that and i was like

let me give you the full name it's wingbot junior 3000 yeah and i haven't shied away from her since i know she's been going strong yeah literally 2017 yeah no she's gone strong. Yeah, literally 2017. Yeah. No, she's like built I have another, she has a travel. She has like a buddy and y'all use that shit. What's her name? She doesn't have one. WBJJ1000? Her name is Manama Sandra. Oh Manama Sandra. Manama Sandra. Yeah. In the episode with Josie we were like in the car trying to almost explain that.

And it probably sounds like the craziest audio. Wait, like the whole, like the whole lore of our character? We didn't go into it, but we were just like, well, Manama Sandra started dating Wing Lee. And then that was a problem because she was with Pilot Jones for so long. I thought she was dating my Mama Bertram. No, no, no. Mama Bertram and Pilot Jones are dating. I see.

Yeah, but then Pilot Jones got with Manama Sandra. Okay, but let's talk about Harley Davidson being a homewrecker. Who? That's the tea. Harley Davidson. Oh. See, I don't really talk about her that much. Yeah.

Yeah. Some things happen when we talk about her. Actually, you know, I don't ever talk about Harley. Yeah. That's like she lives in your world. But like I respect her. Yeah. I brought her in and like I really regret it.

Like she's really toxic. Yeah. I mean, that's probably why we just actually stay away. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what do you got to say? You got all those notes. Well, I was just going to talk about.

Come on. So like did y'all ever have teachers that y'all thought were like extremely hot like really really bad okay like specifically was it a history teacher with those goddamn khakis and bulging the fuck out because they knew what they were doing they were pervy

bro they're pervs they do that shit on purpose like they know their bulge looks fucking great in those jeans and they're like always like the basketball coach yes or like mine was the baseball no mine was the basketball coach the other one was the baseball coach yeah but like i it was real it was visceral and i loved them they're also always too nice and we need to like put them in jail now i actually agree with that because one um oh my god i had a lot of weird experiences with like male teachers actually yeah like i had a math teacher who he was like it was like airport syndrome where he wasn't hot but like he's the hottest person at the school by proxy by because

he's you know a man and yeah but it wasn't weird like that let me step away but he would let me cheat on all my math tests i'm so bad at math so like he would let me get away with things but i remember like the day before graduation i'd like maybe i was enabling this girl but you were a child you were a child him on on a social media platform and he never followed me back. But I never said anything about it. But the day before graduation, I was like walking to my car, and he was just like, after graduation, I can follow you back. The day, oh shit, sorry, the day of graduation, after I walked that fucking stage, followed

me. Oh my God. And then the best part is a couple of years ago i made a joke on twitter is going to do yeah i know he's going to show actually um i made a joke on twitter where i was like uh the best thing about i i don't remember what it was but it was something along the lines of like the best thing about twitter is i mean not twitter the best thing about tinder is that you could get free dinner or something of the sorts and he dm'd me the tweet and was just like i just don't find this really funny because like men like really take oh my god

i thought he was gonna rizz all over you but he's being a fucking loser i just don't take this like he still see even post high school no fully no but it was like in a way where he's just like respect men because i take i take this serious and like i a way where he's just like, respect men, because I take this serious and like, I go here to find people and like, whatever. And I was like, listen, it was a joke. And then he responds. He was like, but for the record, I'd swipe right. Hello?

Bro, why not just be like, let me take you to dinner. Like, that's how you like win. Like, let me take you. Let me take you to dinner. That also doesn't sound right. I was a student. Well, he's going to jail. But to drill you about your joke and then be like,

but for the record, I would still take you to dinner. For the record, I would, yeah, do that. And I don't know where he's at today. He's in jail. We need to find him. He's in federal prison. We're going to find him on my Raya account one day. We play Raya. Yeah yeah i love playing right that's like the best game ever is like to get on my raya account lay in a circle and we all giggle about the people on raya everybody's like dude everybody

cheats these games like these apps like a game it's not a game literally what that man was saying and we're like yeah and it is literally like it's so funny it's and like you know what actually at that time i had no money so yeah i was going on tinder to get free dinner you were like genuinely had you were like were you in atlanta because you hadn't eaten in 48 hours i was still living in georgia and my rent at the time was like i think like 300 dollars but like all i was making at the time working at American Apparel was like $300. I was going to say we need to talk about that era. So all of my money was going towards rent and I didn't want to ask my parents for money

because like they didn't have any fucking money to give me. So I went on Tinder and I went on a couple of dates. That's honestly such a little bit of way to save money and i did actually tell a guy um i it's your little soggy bottom i did tell a guy um i was like you know like i am on this for dinner and then he just like kind of laughed it off and i like laughed it off and i didn't say anything because i was like being serious and i was starving i was being and i was starving i was like please you literally are shaking getting ready because you hadn't had your like proper i hadn't had a proper meal i was broke and i lived with a roommate who was actually i was gonna say

i was gonna say if we can talk about that you should talk about that literally we won't mention names but like I yeah literally just dive in it's literally fucking hilarious it's the craziest shit I've ever heard like to preface the story Orion had like a nightmare fucking roommate and like I know what you think like oh like overdramatic but like no like y'all like literally psycho boots like dangerous like the killer behavior but like so i met this girl okay i'm just like clearly like i said no moral compass because there were multiple reasons as to why i should not have moved in with her in the first place and yet i still did it because i granted forgiveness but i met her through an ex-boyfriend. He was dating,

or his roommate was dating her. Long story short, they broke up because she was lying about her age the whole time. Like he was like a grown man and she was lying about her age. He found out on Facebook because her dad posted like, well, no, she, I think like three months and she told him like i need to like tell you like i'm not 23 i'm actually 18 and he's like fucking shell-shocked by that and he's like whoa um i think he was like 24 at the time or something and he was just like okay this is really weird but like uh i guess and then they kept dating i think like only for like a couple of weeks. And then her birthday rolls around and he sees on Facebook, her dad post on her wall,

like happy 16th or happy 17th birthday or something like that. And he was like, fucking like what? And I was like, oh, but she was cool. She's the girl. She's chill.

She had to do what she had to do. No, she was like so cool. And so eventually like that, like I was no longer dating and that person. So I became friends with her and it was this like strange way. I felt like me becoming closer to her felt like, I don't know, we both were dating roommates and they both broke up with us. Yeah, it was almost like you guys won something in the end yeah exactly it's that tv show of like the two husbands leaving their wives for you love mentioning this yeah grace and frankie yeah exactly so it was like this gorgeous

moment of a crazy person who i tried to look past um behaviors. And so she was at this time like 17 and I was like 19. And she told me, we like sat down for lunch one day and she's like, oh, can you, my mom's coming. Like I got this guy to like get this lease on this house. Can you lie to my mom and say that you're moving in with me and that like you basically are on this lease. And was like yeah totally so we go to this house to see it it's this beautiful house and I'm like oh my god wait actually can I live here like I'm not kidding like can I live here she's like yeah you could take any room you want $300 a month like that's whatever deal as I'm moving in it's my birthday we're going out I see this guy from across the room i'm like in the most heartbroken state of my fucking life i just like got over a devastating breakup and i see this guy

who for the first time in a long time that was i ever attracted to anyone else and i was like this guy over here and she's like oh um i thought he was cute too and like i wanted to get his number and i was like not on my fucking birthday dude but i'm also not gonna have this conversation with anyone yeah exactly that's all yours i don't care and she's like no i don't want to i don't want to long story short i ended up seeing this guy she i came home and i told her about it i was like you know that guy that we saw i ran into him at a coffee shop um and we're you know we went on a date she's like that's so great i'm so happy for you and like it was like this moment where i was like wow this girl's like she's just as forgiving as i am yeah she's a grown up

so mind you i wasn't fully moved in yet i went to go stay at my mom's house and i wake up one morning and i had a missed call from her and i had a missed call from him wait did she go see him at the time her only like form of social media that she was really active on was facebook and same with him he didn't like have an instagram or anything so my first instinct i have a missed call from the both of them this is really weird and i think he texted me like we need to talk about something i went on the first thing i did was go on facebook and went on his facebook and our we had all of a sudden one mutual friend and it was her and we had never had any mutual friends and i was like you don't even need to tell me what happened like i know what happened yeah anyways i give him a call and

he's like so she invited me over to y'all's house at the crib y'all are staying at the house that i was living in what the hell and she's like i invited or she invited me over and like well and like he was like beating around the bush and i was like i invited or she invited me over and like well and like he was like beating around the bush and i was like okay well did you guys have sex like that oh that's all i need to know because i hadn't even had sex with this guy yet and how long were we all together she got bones before you know fully uh we were seeing each other for like about a month but we hadn't like like i said it was very sensitive time for me. I wasn't ready to be, you know. Respect. Promiscuous.

And it turns out, as he was about to answer that, there was a prolonged silence. And I was like, no. I just hung up the phone. I drove my ass to that house as fast as I could. I opened up the door. I hadn't spoken to her all day. Because she knows that she did something wrong.

And I busted the door open. And I charged upstairs. I started packing all my vinyls back into a a box tumblr vinyl she's like i'm so sorry and i'm like why would you and we're just like yelling at each other and then she convinces me and i don't know if it's so much convincing me because like i knew deep down that like this wasn't the case but like i just wanted to forgive her you wanted to just not like it's like a friend and you live with her and it's like way easier just be like whatever and she she basically twists the story being like he's doing this to us look at what he did to us like he's playing the both of us like this man is like terrorizing our lives so i was like okay word so i ended up moving in

that was where it all goes downhill and i don don't know how it already did go downhill from there. I didn't know that happened before you even moved in. Yeah, I thought that you were already living there when that happened. That's crazy. That all happened before I moved in. Oh, my God. The first thing you moved in was your fucking vinyls. Yeah, girl.

Girl, she was working at American Apparel. And she was famous on Tumblr. All of your vinyls and you would sit on thelr. all of your finals and you would sit on the floor. She was the Tumblr girl. Right. Thank you. I am so jealous

of the fact that you worked at American Apparel. That's so sick. That is such a lit, like, I mean, it was awful, but like,

it's historically amazing. But like, was it though? Like, actually, were you, were you a good worker or a bad worker?

Um, both. I was just saying, because there's some stories you've told me. I mean, I'll go into it, but let me finish this roommate story really quick. Oh, yeah, because there's more. No, she's, I'm trying to make this as short as possible. Like, I'm, also, I heard that you said that I was a Scorpio, which is blasphemous. I know, I know, but see how I corrected myself immediately.

Oh, you said Virgo. No, yeah, because after I go, oh, my fucking God, she's a Virgo. She's going to be so mad when she hears that. I, fucking god she's a Virgo she's gonna be so mad when she hears that no I yeah that's trifling and that's blasphemous

and and yeah that's fucked up why would you do that I was thinking of someone I had sex with I was like oh I want to have sex with a Ryan

and I was like fuck dude I thought of the wrong right I respect that yeah the stars are pitting these two beautiful women

against each other right now like they're doing something demonic to you yeah right it's tearing a little heart it'll happen it'll happen anyways i have the ability to turn like the shortest story in the world into a fucking again dissertation um because you're a writer she like didn't have any friends period so i was kind of her only friend but i had other friends so i would start hanging out with other people and she would get really upset and like text

me and be like, why didn't you invite me? Or like, why aren't you hanging out with me? Oh my God, she's literally the killer. And like just became like really angry anytime I wouldn't involve her in things. So keep in mind, this is when we start going on this tour and I'm out of town. And she also, she was just filthy. She let her dog shit all over the house. She would leave like cereal bowls filled with like- Dude, talking about india this is me talking about josh yeah

it was humiliating they could invite someone over and there's dog shit on the floor and like a ferret running loose like and that fucking ferret would slip under my door in the middle of the night like it didn't have a cage and ferrets really stayed and she told me i was like i will move in if i could bring my cats and she was like no no she was like no that's perfect that's totally fine i can bring my cats all of a sudden she's allergic to cats and i have to keep my cats in my room with the litter like everything all my cats are being locked in the room a week later her mother gives her mother like three cats that she found off the street okay and so we have three other cats like it was i was living in a hoarder

house like it was insane and anyways we go on tour and um this other roommate comes in and he moves and they get really close and i was like you know what fine like thank god like she's kind of off my back and like with this guy and then i'm like like, he's going to come around, though. He's going to. I started seeing her crazy. I'm like, he's going to come around and see it. And she. Oh, my God.

So many moments when we went out of town. I forget really what was the like. The kicker. The kicker of what it all. But she would just name a few. She broke into my room because I had a deadbolt on my door. She broke into my room, stole my lingerie. I my door she broke into my room stole my lingerie yeah that's my favorite and like being down so bad that you don't have time to go just pick some shit up from goodwill you're busting open this girl's door the worst thing about it is i found out about the lingerie because one she posted

instagram photos of her wearing my lingerie like i I follow you. Dude, like literally insane. And two, I came home and she, like I said, very filthy, would leave her like dirty clothes on the bathroom floor. And I'm just like using the bathroom and I'm like looking and I'm like, my panties are soiled on the ground right now. Like what the fuck?

Girl, you're just lying and you soiled those panties that's the crazy thing is i hadn't it was like nice lingerie like i had no business wearing lingerie in this like moment in time and she was just like denied every part of it like fully denied and then honestly there's something so awesome about somebody living like that because how like at one point she was like i didn't know these were yours they weren't they were in my drawer yeah in the room that you broke down literally broke into um god what else she i the day that i moved out i went on i went on a live stream to talk about her but I never said her name and no one knew who I was living with.

And like no one was really on this live stream, but she was clocked in. I don't know how the fuck she was clocked in. I know. She's literally the killer. Keep going. I'm sorry. No, you're fine. And she I had a friend over and Katie and I are in the room like and I just hear the front door open and then the front door slam.

And I hear her barging up the stairs and I look at Katieie and i'm like this isn't good because i have no idea what she's about to yell at me about and she she does like she's like quintessential white woman where they when they get mad they go um can i talk to you for a second can you open the door like i just want to talk to you and that were you still on live stream no no no i've been off and um she basically opened the door and was like why are you online saying that i'm a horrible person and i'm like i just like had to like laugh in her face like like i maybe under like situations where i'm in arguing with people i'm arguing with people i like have to laugh because it is because it's genuinely hilarious yeah it's stupid um and i'm like listen i never said your name i never said anything bad about i'm only like telling the truth i said something really her mom was behind her the whole

time actually i forgot to mention the fact that her mom was behind her and i was being really respectful because her mom was behind her but it wasn't until her mother said something and her mom was like well maybe if you learned how to pay rent on time you wouldn't be getting kicked out and i was like oh so this is the lie oh yeah so she's telling her mom she's telling people that i wasn't paying rent so therefore i'm getting kicked out and um i did something really horrible and i said something about her life that her mother does not know about i you know what and actually i don't feel bad for this because she was literally terrorizing and i just said well how about you ask your daughter how she makes her rent money and then i didn't say what it was i just said just ask her about it and

she's fucking god damn it orion and slams the door in my face and then katie katie's filming this whole thing also like laughing. And I'm like, what is, and she's like, that night I just packed up everything and I left that morning. She literally would have fucking stabbed you in your sleep. Another reason why I don't feel bad for saying that is because a year later she texted me and was like, I just wanted to reach out and apologize to you for everything I did.

So I wasn't technically the bad guy for saying anything. Was she pocketing your rent money? Isn't that what was going on? So she also was, didn't have a steady job. And so she was pocketing my rent money. She was pocketing my roommate's rent money. And then was asking us for more money, being like, oh, we actually need money for the security deposit. Babe, we've been in this house for six months.

What do you mean we need the security deposit right now? So crazy. She's like, hey, the security deposit fell through, so we need more. Just to make sure we're safe. Oh, and one time when I was out of town on a press play, it was Halloween. She threw a Halloween party at our house, and she invited over my ex-boyfriend, who I was so devastated over, who she knew I was devastated over. And he came probably think, I mean, for the hopes, I'm hoping that he thought that I would be there,

but he went to our house. And Oh, also the guy that she ended up having sex with, who I was seeing before, um, she told him to not be with me or to not date me because I'm like, I'm so emotionally unavailable, which like, she might've been been right about that but also y'all have known each other for like two days yeah it was also she literally went after somebody who you were actively seeing like that is so insane she's a marvel no i really mean that i'm like it's literally like brave people who live that lifestyle and genuinely can do it fearlessly are genuinely soldiers so i i have the utmost respect for her in the craziest way because she has managed to live her life this way and like even like i moved to la and a year and a half into moving i get an email from someone who's living with her at the time being like um i live with

blank and i need pointers she told me all this about you i believed it now she's doing the same shit to me and she's taking me to court like blah blah so taking me to court and like she like needed a witness and i'm like babe i i'm so sorry you're going through this but i'm not yeah i'm evolving myself with this um yeah she was a piece but i respect it because at the end of the day she ended up getting everything she wanted and in her own way she is she is a girl boss yeah so insane like i also since we've lived together and with josh it's crazy i'm never gonna have a crazy roommate story because oh that can change like that that will change oh you know what it's funny that i said that because behind

your back i'm always like i i'm like my fucking roommate yeah no it's not really wrong to call you my roommate i know i hate it it doesn't feel like when people are like my life partner that i live with no i literally say i live with my friend. Yeah. I can't say roommate. It's disrespectful. I'll say roommate and then immediately go, he's my best friend, but we live together. That's why I call him my roommate. I remember that turd you found on your floor like two or three days ago.

Yeah. And we thought it was Azul's. Yeah. It was actually me shitting on your floor. Oh, why would you? It's so sweet. And you let me clean it. You watched me clean your shit. Yeah, because I was- what did i do to you for you to do that i just

you didn't do anything i just like get off on that like it's just like this thing drew has this thing yeah so i have this thing yeah he's so awesome he's perfect but there is one there's this one he loves shitting on the floor he loves watching people clean up his shit it's really charming i don't think i told you that i woke up and azul had pooped on my floor because the turd got stuck to her butt and i think before she got on the bed she like shook it off and then jumped on my bed slept right next to my fucking head and i had taken a bunch of nyquil because i was like i've been super sick and congested so i went to go get off my bed and i wear slippers in the house thank fucking god because i stepped on the show and

then the next morning because i'm so congested i didn't smell it and drew was like oh it stinks in here and i was like does it though because i don't smell anything yeah i mean it's because your nose is like immune to the smell of the litter at this point i know literally she always makes me sleep on the other side of the bed closest to the litter and i have to like dude and sleep like this when you sleep in inya's room like azul for some reason takes the loudest stinkiest grossest shit smelly shit someone else is in the room because when sabrina was staying here it was the first night i walked to go shower and uh sabrina started freaking out because it started to smell so bad in my room because azul just immediately the second i left the room ran into the litter box it took a big shit panic yeah he literally he's learning some traits from drew yeah exactly he

watches his dad he gets some anxiety and he has to like let it out how about this well she has scarlet fever yeah i literally have a scarlet fever cough sorry sorry sorry sorry right sorry right coughing like that is so embarrassing it's really humiliating um what else you got going on right not much you got something special working on the devil loves idle hands that's why i'm here guys orion has like something seriously wrong with her and like she found out about it like was it yesterday found out about it yesterday yeah and i'm self-diagnosing by the way it's really sad it's major i think i'm dyslexic i'm so serious i found out that i have been paying taxes to the wrong under the wrong

social security number it's funny because you've definitely you're committing fraud and you're just trying to like cover it up with the fact that you're just like yeah sure but like i might be in federal prison next year like no one's talking about that you can't go to prison because then i have to go to prison so hang out orion's federal prison are yeah yeah well okay i switched up two numbers on accident and i'm working on it but then i was like this is a serious problem because i was so convinced that that was you know my social security number is it like you just remembered it wrong and you would yeah what is your social security number can you say it out loud should i should i yeah is this a safe space okay cool um anyway i it was just i was doing it right for years.

I think it started in 2020 is when I checked my W2 and it was like things were swapped. And I'm like, oh, fuck. And also, I just like, I have a hard time phonetically sometimes. But all the best writers in the world are dyslexic. Well, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Yates, you know, they're dyslexic. You're basically them. That was the first thing I looked you know, they're dyslexic. You're basically them. That was the first thing I looked up. After taking a dyslexia test.

We'll insert the screenshot. After I took my dyslexia test online, which I think I need to get tested in person because I don't know. You and Drew should go together. We should. That's what I said. I was like, we need to go do that together. And then I looked up writers with dyslexia.

And then, you know, up came a bunch of articles saying that. And your name was there. And you were like, hello. And my name was there. And it was like, they are the most brilliant writers of all time. They can craft a story better than anyone who doesn't have dyslexia. So even if I don't have dyslexia, I'm going to lie and say it. Yeah, just write it out.

Write it out. Right, exactly. But yeah, me and Orion are going on a slaycation together. don't have dyslexia i'm going to lie and yeah just write it out right now right exactly um but yeah me and orion are going on a slaycation together and it's gonna be awesome it's gonna be awesome possum the girls are gonna be scissoring on the beach yeah we're gonna be tripping and scissoring on the beach is scissoring real scissoring is not fucking beautiful scissoring on the beach weird but fucking beautiful is that the album snow on the beach taylor swift it's like snow on the beach yeah it's actually a riot oh yeah is that on your riot as your song yeah that is literally so funny also uh i told them and inya and everybody in my life about this but i don't know if you know about this but like

around the same time we first met taylor swift wrote a song about me oh really yeah drew looks at me smiles is it like unreleased no no no she actually does say drew yeah literally looks at me i fake a smile so he won't see that was me at the party when you walked in. Exactly. So actually, Taylor Swift notoriously writes songs about, you know. Other couples. Other couples. Jackie Antonoff, Lena Dunham.

We did sign an NDA. But like, I think it's expired. I think it's like expired now. It's way expired. I will say, I told her all about that night. And you're a legend because of it. What? Yeah.

Okay, fine. Yeah. Oh my God. And me. She wrote like love story about us. You know what I should give you is the letter I wrote to you in 2020 for your birthday. Cause it's in my room. Right now?

Cause I don't know right now. No, not right now. Cause it's, I like read through it and it was it was before right before we cracked the code of being really intimate yeah um because we were close during covid but i feel like the end of 20 by the end of 2020 we were like inseparable yeah no totally because it was for your birthday 2020 that i wrote this and i still didn't know how to like write something out to you and be like emotional and be serious but I bought that for you and I have the Florence vinyl because I got you the Florence vinyl and that but then I never gave it to you because I think I got embarrassed because I read the letter

I was like this like I'm like not being fully real here like it's I'm still like have all my shame on my morality scale that I can't move fast like no it's so bad I feel like anytime we've written each other a letter it's like it just ends in crying. Like last, this year on your birthday. Yeah, my birthday. That was major. Yeah, and then Drew watches in the corner. Yeah, then I'm just here watching. I actually

tell Drew first what I'm going to get you and then Drew's like oh, she's going to cry. And then she cries. And then she cries. I am also a crybaby. I feel like we're both crybabies. No, we're both crybabies. If you sit us down in a table with two glasses of wine in the topic of death, it's fucking over. It's over. It's done. Just sit y'all down at a table with two glasses of wines and y'all will tell the same story y'all have told for the past six years to each other.

And love and eat it up every time and like it's usually like the same stories that we still need to rehash because it's like i'm not done there's yeah it can never end it's like i can dig through the same story there's so many words in the story we just have to get also like psychoanalyzing the people involved it's just really great recently it has been about like youth yeah and it's been bad like we went to the chateau and we had a couple drinks and on the uber ride home we were hysterically crying about what like actually i have the i think i have a picture i'm gonna see if i can show you we'll never be this young again and like wait it wasn't even we'll never be this it was like it was it started to stem off we were talking about how scary it is to think that we are so comfortable in the life we have now and it feels so good like the mundane we have now feels so good

even though sometimes it's tiring yeah it feels so good and i think what started to trigger it is we were sitting in the car and i was just thinking of all the times we've been leaving the chateau and going back to like this apartment to like sleep together and that started freaking me out because i was like dude one day we won't live here yeah so and it was i remember really this has like kind of just been like on my mind lately it's it's i'm not so much like worried or afraid of aging like i think obviously it's like a privilege to age and i'm really excited to see what that looks like for myself but you're literally gonna be so hot i know you're gonna

be the sexiest lady ever i hope so it's gonna be really bad because i'm gonna like be like fuck i can't have sex with her no you can't sister no she can't yeah maybe when we're like older we'll just like have sex yeah no that's literally what i think i'm just like someone's gonna have to have sex with each other in this group and ruin it and it might as well be y'all it's i feel like we could at this point i feel like we could live past like if it's gonna be anyone it'll probably be me who does it um anyways but i feel i think i just have this like vision of of I've had this face for as long as I can remember. Even as a child, I don't know. I'm used to looking at this face.

And at one point in my life, I'm going to look in the mirror and it's going to be a different face. And that is so, lack of a better word, scary. Yeah, it's terrifying. I think about that a lot too and especially with like I don't know if y'all ever saw those videos of those people using like that filter where it made like the younger version of themselves and they would be like sobbing and that's like that was really scaring me because I was like then I started looking at old pictures of myself like from like four years ago and like seeing the change and i still see myself as that person and then like then i like have to re-get comfortable with this version and i know in four years i'll like look back and be like oh my god and then

also i'm just like so hard on myself like with my appearance and like my body and everything and i'm just like why can't i in this moment just love what i have because in four years, it's going to be even worse. And like, I'm going to be like, I wish I still looked like that. I don't know. It's just something I struggle with. Yeah. I mean, and it's also just the phenomenon of like, you look back at photos from four years ago and you're like, oh, I look so great here. But in that moment, you didn't feel that.

Yeah, exactly. But also like, yeah, I don't know. Like, I'm not so much like it feels arbitrary. Like I'm not so much worried about like wrinkles or like, you know, the signs of aging. Wait, this is an amazing photo. Ew. You look like the girl from the chess movie.

It's literally us like saw Anya Taylor-Joy. Yeah, you look like Anya Taylor-Joy. You literally do um yeah i'm not so much worried about i think it's just yeah something to get used to and thinking of the girl i used to be like i will be i know like i'm technically a woman right now but i feel so much like a girl i still feel like a girl and well you are the girl i'm the girl yeah the girl um so i don't know i was reading which you need to read annie or no she's i'm reading um a girl's story right now and she talks about um this summer in her life of this like love affair that she or like yeah this love affair i guess and she keeps referring to herself as in the girl of 58 of the year 58 and she's like i don't know how to write about this like it feels

like i'll give myself more freedom if i refer to her as she rather than i and it's like i'm like reading this in real time while thinking these thoughts of like oh my god yeah like she there's this version of her that exists that was so important that is no longer her because she's older now. And so she feels so disassociated with it, but still so attached to it and wants to write about it. But doesn't know if she'll, you know, like grant herself more freedom to

if she refers to that version of herself as, you know, a third party. Yeah, 100%. It's also insane because I think we're all at the age too where we definitely could do that with our teenage selves yeah because all three of us suffer from like nostalgia that's so bad in a way yeah it's like debilitating all you can do is look back at yourself and think about the way you felt the thing the way you saw things the way you understood and perceived the world and you but i i'm hoping that the way i feel about my teenage self translates when i'm like 50 i'm thinking about myself in my 20s where it's as much as i have this craving to go back and like oh my

god i would literally do anything i was like even though i was fucking miserable sad like upset confused i want to go like part of me wants to go back but i don't think i would if i could because it was such a tumultuous time that it literally is terrifying to me at this age and i'm hoping and praying to god that by the time we're in our 50s that's how i feel about my 20s but i feel like our 20s are literally so fun girl no our 20s are like we are living like such an incredible life like i literally have my girls here and what freaks me out so fucking much is like you kind of touched on it but there's going to be a time when like we don't see each other for months at a time and it's and it's so

i genuinely like when we talk about like i've seen it as a joke, but like I genuinely believe that at some point in our lives, like we will literally live on a compound together and we will have our own spaces with our own families with our own land. But like we'll be a golf cart right away. Like that's what I need. And I believe it. I mean, like I cannot imagine not being a drive away from you guys and like also we've talked about this too and it's hard i think in the sense of like because we both we think we want children yeah and like i think about having like in our 20s are so fun and i'm sure our 30s are going to be even more fun i know that's the problem is especially now as we're getting

older i feel like all of us know a lot of people in their 30s yeah who are still like running around they don't have kids they don't have this like stable life that we were all taught that would be the imagined life for our 30s and also as we inch closer to our 30s it becomes more prevalent that realistically in four to six years none of us are going to be like yeah i just have to be home i want to just really yeah i also cannot realistic i can realistic i can see us having children and like having a life like a outside of a friendship like a with a partner whatever that may look like but i don't see us as the type of people to just like live in that. Yeah. Just stay in it.

It's not, it's just not realistic. It makes, it's no same. Like it literally makes no sense to me that like, I mean, it's different for me than y'all because like literally like, and this isn't like me being funny.

Y'all have like a biological clock and that's just like scientific. And like, that's why a lot of people in their 30s are having children at that age but like for me it's kind of different like i can wait until my late 30s to have children like i'll be an old fucking dad but like i don't know that's something else i think about a lot because i'm like also who the fuck am i gonna have kids with because like literally i've literally yeah no like i genuinely like beg one of us to just do it like no it's for real like i want kids and i will probably be raising them alone because like girl i've never been in a

long-term relationship that child god if you are raising a child alone drew guys no i'm like a good person no no i'm just kidding they'll get Red 40 for lunch. It's kind of amazing, though. I've thought about that. I've thought about the fact that, for me, a peaceful life also sounds like getting a sperm donor and having a child on my own. And just being like, have you ever seen Matilda, Miss Honey? And she's raising Matilda, basically. That doesn't sound half bad. And also, literally, all men fucking suck genuinely. And that's literally how it is. Kinnkeeping, babes. No babes no for real cannot partake for real cannot partake you know what it is to tell the girls about kin keeping is so kin keeping is when you have a child with a

fucking disgusting god forsaken man and every man loves to be like i want to be a dad i want to be a dad until the dadding has to start dadding the dad is not dadding yeah the dad cannot function without the mother who is literally building the foundation of this home whether that be by like cooking cleaning caretaking caretaking not only the kids but the husband making sure everyone's fed making sure everyone's clean and there are like little things with that too i saw this tiktok of this girl being like oh me and my husband we split our chores like he does the dishes and i go grocery shopping grocery shopping requires thinking about what you're gonna buy

planning for dinner like there's like so much that goes into just grocery shopping versus doing the fucking dishes you know what i mean like yeah like it is so insane and yeah you just end up up keeping a whole household all on your own without realizing and then the and then the dude is like well i provide for this family i go work and i work eight hours a day and it's like girl it doesn't fucking matter what men are providing i know they are making there's no there's no real men no real men are left phones build a fucking house and i very seriously mean that no and i was saying get back to the fucking uh steel beams in new york city like get back on those and start welding that shit back together you want children but you don't want

to like literally making tiktoks yeah that's what the thing is at this point i genuinely like god bless whoever i if i end up having kids whoever i have kids with i genuinely also suffer from if it's gonna be done right it's going to be done by me and i i just don't see a world where anybody could raise my kid because that's my fucking kid let's get that fucking right and also you are so protective over like your creative babies that like i literally think like if you have a kid with a man like it is your kid it's not that yeah it's literally no question it's like get the fuck away from my child that's my child and i i don't know it's just like literally get away also but when you were saying how we don't oh wait you finish up

I was just gonna say also it's different because like girls can twerk fuck you and that's the first thing I'm teaching my daughter yes she has to be able to

I'm gonna make an honest woman out of her if my kids can't dance that's gonna be really embarrassing but that's just something I thought about like them going to a party

and not being able to dance like why does that sound really embarrassing like not knowing how to like just like have fun like that's just something i thought about like them going to a party and not being able to dance like why does that sound really embarrassing like not knowing how to like just like have fun like that's really embarrassing you need to like raise your children somewhere that's like in miami basically yeah literally so that they know how to like run around and like have fun but um i think the reason too although we are all like i, whatever, we have so much fulfillment in our friendships that it is really, really, really hard to imagine a life with not only a partner, but like just, just imagining a whole life where our friendships aren't so coming first.

I was going to say that. Literally, no matter what relationship I will be in, my top priority is I'm like, that's cool. But how am I going to be able to have my friendships and maintain them? Because they're so like, of course, any romantic relationship I get into is going to be important to me. But you're not my fucking girls. Like you are simply not my friends. Like there is no one else i want to just sit on a couch and watch random youtube videos and screenplay tiktoks with more than my fucking

friends like i just wanna it's so different what we should do it really is we should all have a child together i would say we should all find one sperm donor yeah me hello yeah actually drew is the sperm donor let me impregnate you oh my god could you imagine drew is a twin imagine we got drew's sperm and both of us had oh we can do that we can arrange that we can do that like let's do it right now let's do it i don't think we should do it like with a doctor like let's just go to your room yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah money yeah exactly like why would we and i can do hands of a medical professional? Yeah, I mean, you've proved it for sure. Yeah, right. But what were you saying?

I forgot. Oh, I was, at the same time, I was having this thought when I was washing my face. Because this is our second year in a row we're doing a Sleighcation. Yeah. And it's so fun. And I thought about it. I was like, aw. Like, it was a sweet moment where I was like oh like in 10 years

like imagine us like bringing our like little toddlers with us and it's just like and then that also got me on the the next thought where I was like the fact that I'm thinking of planning a vacation with my friend and her baby and my baby and and there is no like my partner is not involved in this whoever I end up with like I'm not thinking about us having a family vacation like I'm thinking about me my friends it would be way more fucking fun if we were in our home which we're making our home away from home exactly our vacation home if we like had that with our little babies in that kitchen like running around exactly like and then we should why would a man be there why would a man be there no it's actually pissing me off oh my god it pisses me off why would a man be there why

do you want to be there like you're literally in my fucking space like oh my god i'm literally gonna freak out i'm not kidding she's out oh my god no you're kind of like in my business no you were literally oh my fucking god like there is the killer in the house like i'm gonna call the police no and like i think we should also like arranged our kids to get married so we could be like mother-in-law that would be lit if like to like our kids y'all would be related yeah we're gonna like arrange the marriage we'll make it happen yeah well okay we'll keep them like friends growing up and then let them date around because we have to make sure that like they get together in like their 30. So it's like, okay,

I'm like, I'm really down for this. And we'll just, when we'll always break up their relationships and then be like, oh my God, have you ever thought of?

I think what I'll do is if I have a daughter, I'll just raise her in my hometown and make her believe that she has to be abstinent. Just like I thought. And then she'll save, I'll let my daughter save myself i think i'm gonna

i think i'm gonna raise my child um my able-bodied child in a wheelchair and you know what's crazy full of chemicals and shit okay first of all you want gypsy rose yeah yeah oh we need her on the podcast so fucking bad i know she comes out of jail this year i think yeah and like the end of this fourth quarter we should have a party for it i'm not even kidding like we need to go to the prison the thing is we need to go see her she's the girl like for real like i genuinely think like she did nothing wrong and i don't give a fuck yeah free her i actually agree like what an insane scenario she literally like what would her life be if she didn't do that she would literally still be held captive yeah no fully

and she would probably be dead but yeah she probably would be dead from being like pumped with medication she didn't need but you know what's crazy before i knew gypsy rose was a person i literally made a joke to my brother we're probably gonna have to cut this where i told dante like we were literally i think i was like 14 and this was my humor i was sitting in his room and i look at him i'll go if i have kids i'm literally just gonna have one of them stay in a wheelchair and convince them they can't fucking walk and never let them have friends over and never let them out of my sight so that they never attempt to walk and really convince them of that and then one day i'm gonna let them have a friend over and

i'm gonna leave them in the room and i know the i'm gonna let them have a friend over and i'm gonna leave them in the room and i know the friend's gonna be like have you ever tried to walk and it's gonna come up and the kid's gonna stand and i'm gonna walk into the room and see the kid standing and i'm gonna have to break its legs oh my god oh my god you're scaring me something's like i thought this was gonna take a positive turn like this is a bit yeah it was all the joke and yeah um right right after you sobbing help yeah something's wrong i mean i literally did just start crying about the idea of a man being next to our kids um while we're on vacation so maybe i do need help no it's no but you're like it's real though because i don't even want a man there when we don't have kids i know like

the thought of like the only man that's allowed to be in my presence at that time is that sweet little old man putting treats at the front door for us. I know. He's so lit. Like I love him and I'll do anything for him. Really. Truly. I think I would.

Yeah. But a man on vacation with us? Ever? You know what's annoying is then it's like it's going to be like a situation where he's like, oh, like, let's go to dinner. Like Orion is going to stay. I'm like, why is Orion staying home? You know what it is too? At the end of the day, it's because we won't be able to share a bed no literally that's exactly

what it is because the house that we stay out on vacation has six fucking bedrooms and we managed to sleep in the same bed are we gonna pick a different bed this night maybe yeah yeah that one was a little it hurt my back a little bit yeah those pillows were mad uncomfortable dude the beds they're literally i don't think humans actually sleep on them they're like for looking but yeah wow what an what an episode we've been at it for an hour yeah um gorgeous well well i have one more thing to say um orionia yeah that's the name oh is that our ship name yeah orionia but i um uh had a dream last i had a fortnight dream last night i'm not kidding and it was a nightmare actually let me listen to the audio message i sent because i don't remember it but i sent it

to josiah at like 4 a.m. I thought I ended there. jump let's jump get on my back so i got on one of the rainbows back they were younger than me and we dove off the mountain and like 10 seconds passed and we had to play bear shooting i was like what the fuck and then we splatted on the ground it was so scary okay so you jumped off a fucking mountain i jumped off a mountain in fortnight and splatted on the ground that's the dream what in the, were you like a Fortnite character or you were real? I was a Fortnite character. It was like the Fortnite map. Right.

I had a Fortnite dream with Bella Hadid in it. Oh, my friend. After I really started, yeah, with your girl. Yeah, that's my friend, guys. Bella. I know Bella. Remember my dream where I thought, or I had a dream that Cardi B posted a photo of my cat on her story?

That's so stupid. I feel like you had like a crazy dream recently. There are multiple. Like if I ever had access to black tar heroin, I do not know where my brain would go. No, that's mean. I'm so, wow. Girl, we need to try H go. No, that's me. I'm so, wow. Girl, we need to try H together.

No, you don't. My brain terrorizes me in the astral realm of dreaming. What would I start speaking about? Actually, I don't know. You would start pointing at the stars and communicating with the stars. Probably. Okay, that's something I did think about.

The first time i like uh heard about astrology was through you like you were really obsessed with it and like back then i was like girl this shit is bullshit but like i'm gonna do it because people like are really into it and like there might be something to it and i still like never ever fully believed and then i started thinking about it and like girl like look at the fucking moon like the moon literally controls like giant bodies of fucking water like makes waves like lowers the tide raises the tide we're made of like a lot of fucking water so it's just like giving like it has to do something to us like the lunar cycle has to also my i hate the thing

about astrology astrology is especially australia australia is when you start like especially oh my god this is just like a anti-men episode but like the multiple times that i've like started seeing a guy and been like too afraid to be like when's your birthday because i fear if i ask him what his birthday is he's like oh well you're gonna guess like what my stars yeah you know what i am but you know what i also do i sit there and i fucking pretend that i like whatever goddamn sport is on your mind i'm like go ravens go dogs whatever it is like i'm pretending i'm lying and you can't like lie lie to me that like i'm having fun with you are a whatever. What's so annoying about it is why don't you just take it as a fucking compliment?

This person is so interested in you that they like want to look they want to read about you. Like literally it might come from a place of insecurity. Like if it says there y'all aren't compatible that like you'd leave or some shit. I don't know. But I am a pisces gemini what do you know about that um you're emotional and well i guess like pisces would be like very i mean i'm not i'm not a fucking expert on this but like what i do know about pisces is that they're emotional and gemini men are very wish-washy from my experience.

Or like, not only- Is this in the context of like relationships? Is that what everybody bases it on? Kind of, yeah. But not also like, no. Like Pisces are notoriously like emotional creatures, I think. I'm not an expert. I like, I'm just self-absorbed.

Oh, you would be an astrology expert. Like, I'm sure you know a lot about astrology yeah i'm self-absorbed and the only thing only about me though um well before we end the episode i actually do have two serious questions that i thought of last night one is are you writing right now which i feel like you already answered in your you know i was actually thinking about this on the couch where i don't know how this thought got popped in my brain, but I am writing, but there is no like book that there is like an active destination like theme. Yeah, like I'm writing towards something, but like I don't know what that something is. Write about Inya and your escapades.

Well, what was crazy? Well, that's. Trust and believe. Trust and believe. what was crazy well that's trust and belief hello um as crazy as i think like i used to write so so so much and i think it was mostly because i didn't have anyone to tell these things to whereas like now our like our relationship has become so emotionally like there it's just so strong that like i don't fear telling you anything so like the thoughts don't resort to paper anymore they almost resort to you i was thinking about that the other day because i i was like i had this notebook that i started writing in in january and

i haven't written in it since and it's literally because i've been telling you everything so then when i go to write, I feel kind of silly because I'm just thinking, okay, I've just explained this. Also, it sucks because we get into these like really deep conversations. I feel like what we're saying, I'm like, oh, I wish this was like

written down somewhere. And then when I, like when you get to a paper, it's like, am I about to repeat myself to myself? Like what am I? Literally. But I don't know.

I feel like we went to Big Sur and we all row. And that was like the first time in a long time where I was just really like writing towards something, which felt really good. And I don't know. I think that for the first time in my life, I can like confidently say I'm genuinely proud about what I'm writing about.

Because I see that I'm getting better at what I do. Which is super nice. Which is also strange. Cause then I'll read back some things and I'm like, it almost feels like fake. I'm like, did I like make that? Like,

did I like plagiarize this? Like it's actually kind of good. And like, it doesn't like, no, like, which I've never, ever,

ever had that with anything that i've written before um yeah you've read i remember even like 2021 when we were in well where were we for christian's birthday you read something that you had written even i was shocked because you haven't read anything you've written in a long time and it was more of like a personal essay it was right next to fucking mount baldy or whatever the fuck and you read it and you didn't tell me it was yours and you read it and i was like dude that was so good what is that and you were like i wrote that and i remember being like obviously i like your writing but that was like a moment where i was like oh there's just like an obvious like growth yeah it

was like a huge jump and then my second question is what is your ideal writing setup that actually works like when are when is that where are you because i feel like for a lot of people and just like this goes to any like creative work in general there's this idea like drew and me have like our desk with all our pens and papers and all these things but how often do you actually sit there and like use all those things in that space you've gathered what is your actual process set up like do you feel like you have to set up the moment or does it just usually it usually like i feel like on a day-to-day things will pop in my head and i'll like jot it down and whether it's my notebook or like my notes app and my phone um but if I'm like really wanting to write I try not to sit at my desk because or I try not even

to be home period because there's so many distractions I mean like literally when I was finishing film for her I went to Paris at the time I didn't know anyone in Paris and I was like there is nothing to distract me here because I'm you know you fucking text me and you're like let's go to whole foods and i'm on my way yeah like any little thing i'll go to um so it's usually not home my desk is more reserved for like revising and putting it into something um but if if i am writing at home it's usually at night in my bed before i go to sleep just to kind of like wrap up the day yeah that makes sense who are your favorite authors i mean right now i've said it before i love annie arnaud right now um sylvia plath i love uh annie snin also that's another thing i've realized in the past like two years i've not read a book written by a man i read one i literally haven't either no i've realized in the past like two years i've not read a book written by a man

i read one i literally haven't either no i've literally read like one book that wasn't lolita um and that's it like it was written by a man yeah and you know actually it was his first he's russian and um russian is his first language and lolita was the first book that he wrote in English, which is why it's like genuinely so, like such an intense book because the verbiage in that book is insane. Like even somebody whose first language is English, like a lot of the words that he is using is like,

what the fuck? Holy shit. Like you are insane. No, I read a book of his called mary but no everything i've been like uh patricia highsmith is also really good uh god what's her name she wrote the price of salt which i couldn't finish reading for obvious reasons the way like i was gonna say you read david uh weight of the, but that was like three years ago. Oh, damn.

Yeah. Whoa. Which was also really good. But it's, he's a gay man. Yeah, I know. That's not a man. He's a gay man. And he has, you know, some sensibilities there.

I like went on a deep dive of like nihilism and existentialism and all of that shit. Like right after my brother died and like it fucked me up but also like it really did heal me in a crazy way and i think like when i was like 16 if i picked that shit up and read that i literally would have killed myself it would not have been okay but like i think that shit that's like okay for like a developed brain especially when i was like so i was hurting so badly and i was just like looking for answers and like um it was just like a great those were like great guides for me to like um kind of just be like oh it kind of doesn't matter and like if there is an afterlife which i hope there is um i'll just see him there or i'll just wake up in

this exact same fucking life and like i won't even know i died or like whatever it is like there's so many different things that i think about of the afterlife but helped me a lot maybe i should revisit that because i read it and i was like it almost validated the things that i was thinking and i was like fuck like um can i like read something that redirects my brain in a different scenario one thing about you is you're going to fucking read. Like, I wish I could read. Yeah. You know, I want to read more fiction, actually. I can't do fiction for some reason.

Like, not real. Like, a fictional. Like, I mean, I guess, like, I'm trying to think in, like, recent. I read 2020. I read My Year of Rest and and relaxation, which is fiction, which I actually didn't think it was, I didn't know it was fiction because no one knew what that book was.

And I had just like stumbled upon it. And I was like, oh, fun little memoir. And I'm like, I Googled the girl. I'm like, cause like she describes herself as like blonde, blue eyed, like gorgeous, beautiful girl. And I'm like, I need to know what this girl looks like halfway through the book. I look up Otessa Moshfag,

and it is absolutely the opposite of... Like, the way she had described herself, just, like, dark hair. Yeah, very opposite. And I was like, oh, my God, this is not a real book. Like, I went into this thinking that this was a memoir, almost. Dude, I... It is so annoying.

I never finished that book because of my not-finishing-book syndrome, which, actually, I... dude i it is so annoying i never finished that book because of my not finishing book syndrome which actually i two of the books i just finished were books that i like had to finish because but what's so annoying is i fucking start books and i get like a third of the way in and then i move on to another book get a third of the way in and then once i revisit the other book to be like i'm gonna finish it you forget i'm like what the fuck is happening like i need to go to the page i've like started and then i have to restart it and then i won't finish the book but i didn't finish my year of rest and relaxation because i started it because of you and um it just reminded me of like my depression when i was not doing exactly what she was doing but to an extent just like drugging myself sleeping all day like being depressed yeah and i started reading i was like damn that was fun like why should i do this again

because i literally like you're like no taking no dumb bitches like exactly no literally no literally yeah i've been thinking it's also just such a repetitive book so like yeah yeah I could see you not I think the only thing that you've finished in recent time was um consent yeah that was like the book that was the only book that I like finished because I picked up and like drilled through everything else I like have every book I own I've gotten a third of the way into and then just recently I yeah I did it with milk fed i did it with way to the earth i still have the finished i think you just need a gripping story yeah because all of those the things i mean i haven't read milk fed but like you i think because consent was like

it was like tea you're reading like the bible like i'm like what's what's next yeah that book i plowed through but i did finish like walking through a pool painted black and david's book and then i i had to restart beljar in big sir or not in big star oh i restarted it in korea see maybe that's why maybe on our trip i'll read more because in korea i finished cooking this book and david's book yeah on the fucking plane and just walking around and like reading to myself and then i started i had to restart fucking bell jar because i picked up at like page 60 and i was reading it i was like literally who the fuck is she talking about right now like what is happening so i had to restart it and restarting a book is so annoying because like i hate reading a paragraph and i'm like bitch i know what you're about to say like

i literally know what you're about to say but i'm doing the thing where i pack too many books to bring on our trip i will be doing the same and but i'm oh but see like annie's books from what you're telling me i'm like oh that's getting done i think that you will finish her books yeah i think that like her i sorry this has gone on for so long, this podcast. No, it's so okay. I think also in the topic of even like going back, we're talking about getting older and like we'll change or whatever. Reading her memoirs, she's like in her mid to late 40s. And she has the same thought process as me in my 20s. And I'm like, holy fuck, i'm never growing out of this like like i think that i'm gonna have some one yeah revelation one day you're just gonna wake up and

be a new person so wise and so scary emotionally i'm stuck like this emotionally kept exactly but it's okay if you aren't and also i really love writers like uh chantal ackerman and annie or no who write such profound things with simple language because i think that you assume in order to be a writer you have to like really woo the crowd with yeah your like vocabulary almost and and they do a phenomenal job of making their work palatable but still profound in its own way yeah 100 it's also like then it's playing into the idea that you also are a woman and a writer and there i feel like there's such a competition with yourself in the world and the way you want to be you never want to be perceived as somebody who's lacking intelligence um so

there's it's really easy to overcompensate and want to be taken seriously exactly it's like i need to use big words i need to explain this out in like extreme like agonizing detail so that it seems like i really have thought about this but in reality it's not necessary and then you do read a book which is like very very clearly influenced by a thesaurus, and then you're like, oh, this is so pretentious. So it's like no one wins at the end of the day. But yeah. Right, right.

Well, what did we do? That was emergency intercom. We're going to do some media. We, at the end of every episode, pick out a couple songs, books, movies, shows, whatever you've been consuming media-wise. And we say them. I'll start it off. When the sun hits, slow dive. Ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in space.

Spiritualized. Lover, you should have come over. Jeff Buckley. And then show. What did we watch? watched something oh um y'all watched black mirror yeah we like tuned into black mirror the first episode and like i don't think it was for me fully like it was just giving like everything everywhere all at once like just trying to be something it's not i've seen it yeah wait my dad posted a story he's in new york working listen to the fucking song he put on his story this is like i i think i my face

like obviously we're on camera so it showed you cannot have the cup damn he's with the shit i was gonna talk about that this episode i was gonna say i literally tapped in no he's fucking i was gonna say this but i was like i'm just gonna say for another episode but since we're already here when i was like 17 um my buddy tag like knew about playboy cardi i'm just gonna shut the fuck up we'll just do media and then i'll tell in a different episode sorry got teased basically i went to houston and that's all you get but yeah because that's a long story that does need to be told um i tried to say this in the last episode or the episode with josiah but i was high and this is a song that's been sang by a bunch of people but this is the

version i like muskrat love muskrat candlelight by willis allen ramsey take control count base d wish that i could talk to you the still the silvers tick tick tick it wears off todd rundgren and hello it's me by todd rundgren that's my media um well i didn't fucking prepare for this so you guys like really suck at your jobs um i feel like i've been listening to like someone in love by bjork i wanted it too by roberta flack um valentine by fiona apple and lana's last album like that is all i've really been like truthfully been listening to respect you read anything recently that you're obsessed with um do i like media wise just book wise i'm like i will repeat it again i'm in my annie or no kick i've read like five of her books this year and i'm on my fifth at the moment and um yeah

well thank you so much for being on yeah thanks for having me i feel bad because i feel like this is me no i'd be like yes yes exactly yeah it was well that's the key why i was like hesitant because i'm like that's what's gonna happen we talked about it before and i was like no i'm literally so okay like literally i just want to ryan on so people can see her brain inside her head and see this version that we get to see and love. So I was more than happy to just sit back and chill. Also, y'all are just the girls. Like, that's what it is. I know.

I feel like that's most of our hangouts anyways. Me and Ryan be like, boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. And Drew's like, yeah, yeah, no, I thought that too. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. No, literally. But yeah, thank you so much

for being on thanks for having me I think it was an awesome episode and thank you guys for watching peace and love and unity

and respect now let's go boom ew Outro Music