Emergency Intercom - Our House Is Cursed

Episode Date: July 23, 2021

Welcome back to a new episode of Emergency Intercom! It is only fitting that coming from broken homes, our home gets broken into on multiple occasions! We avoid bills, we lie, and we are sexy… what more do you want! Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm, like, so worried about my sister. Randy, you cannot marry a murderer. I was sick, but I am healed. Returning to W Network and Stack TV. The West Side Ripper is back. If you're not killing these people, then who is? That's what I want to know. Starring Kaley Cuoco and Chris Messina.

The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants. Killer messaged you yesterday? This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this. Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. Stream on Stack TV. Lights, camera, action! Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

Today, we talk about how ever since moving into this home, there has been an intrusive fear for our lives. It's cursed. This house is cursed. It's evil. There's a lot of dark energy in here, and it needs to be addressed. And I know a lot of y'all are hearing this and are extremely excited to hear this because probably for the past two years, we've been saying, wait for the podcast. We'll tell the stories in the podcast. Yeah.

And now's the fucking time. I actually do think we've slipped up and have said all of these stories at least once publicly. But now they're congealed into one thing. So you don't have to go running around. And there's new shit. There's new developments to the story. There's new development to the curse of the There umanzor philip chateau um except the new development is just kind of embarrassing on

my part but we'll get into that later we have to start from the beginning the very very very beginning which is the home invasion yeah and to so we moved into this apartment in may 2019 um and i soon after like i think two weeks after moving in i took a trip to miami yeah it was it was very quick it was very we were very fresh to this house like we uh we're still like learning our neighborhood and shit we we didn't really know where we were like at placement wise on the map yeah and um we're just chilling one night like and he's gone um it's me and josh in the house um josh had already been gone for a couple days back at his house um or his parents house just like hanging out with his parents um and he came back and i was like oh finally like not an alone night because i

don't really like being alone but i wasn't really scared before this i was kind of just like whatever like um i don't like being alone but i can handle this but then everything changed everything changed um so one night inya's out of the house josh goes to bed like really really early for some reason he never ever ever goes to bed early and it was just like it was planned by josh it was exactly i think he like called a hit on me um but basically um we were just like josh was asleep in his room or like getting ready to fall asleep and i was just chilling in my room with my door wide open and i was i can't remember if i was playing the minecraft album or if i was playing minecraft you might have actually been playing minecraft i think i was playing that era yeah i i think i was playing minecraft and like the sound

of minecraft was blasting through the house like it was it was loud as shit and i have to be like um i had to make that clear like it wasn't my computer was on full blast like it wasn't quiet um and like i'm just playing minecraft whatever and then i'm like okay i'm getting like really tired. Like I need to go to bed soon. So like, I'm just like winding down my night. And then I hear Azul like screaming, like literally yelling at the top of his lungs, which like isn't abnormal.

Yeah, because she has bad separation anxiety. So when I do leave, and we had just moved to this house. So she was on a really bad one. And even when I was here, she would like scream to be let out of the room and like wander and like learn the house. Was this pre-escape or post-escape? I think he had already gotten out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he had already gotten out.

But yeah, he was still just like in an anxious like. He was like feral. I don't know where the fuck I am. Yeah, he was like, I want out, I want out, I want to go have sex. I haven't seen my owner in like a week. I'm like losing my mind. Yeah. But yeah, anyways, there's always screeching. So I was like, okay, I'm going to go lock him on that side of the house because we have like doors separating the house.

So I like walk over there and I pass by this, the door to like the parking garage and like Enya always leaves that light on. And like when I was passing by it to go to bed or to go play Minecraft before I had turned it off and I was like, like out of, not out of spite, but I was just like, I want this light off. I don't like it on also for more chance to turn it off i leave i leave front lights and back lights on because the olden saying if you don't want your house to be fucking broken into you leave lights on so any

intruders think there's someone in the house already exactly and i didn't realize that before and now now that light is literally on 24 7 i don't think it's been turned off since um but passing by um i noticed that the light was on and i was like god damn it josh like why the fuck did you turn that light on like this is very very annoying like whatever so i like flick the light off don't notice anything different um but i in my head i was like huh i thought i turned that light off but it was on but i turned it off again walk over to the side of the house and then i noticed the door separating like inya's bedroom side of the house the stairs to the front door everything is like shut already and i was like that's weird because it was open it was like already open

because like we i hadn't turned the house off yet like i haven't gone to bed yet um so i thought that was weird and then i opened this door and i'm greeted with like the raunchiest most disgusting stench i've ever smelt in my entire life. Sorry, I left my dirty underwear before I went to Miami. Girl, I know what your underwear smells like, because I'd be sniffing the shit out of that, and it did not smell like your underwear. What? Just keep telling.

Just keep wearing it. Mom, you just leave it out, and I just smell it. Okay, no, okay, just keep going with the story. Okay, whatever, whatever, whatever. So I'm greeted with, raunchy smell. Like, I wish I could describe it other than, like, just, like, fucking pure disgust and stench. Like, gross, nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty smell. And I'm like, goddammit, Azul, like, why'd you shit?

Like, Azul shit, and now I'm gonna have to go clean up that shit because it's gonna fucking stain in his bed. And someone's probably like, oh, Azul's poop couldn't smell that bad. Azul's poop smells really bad. So it makes sense that Drew thought it was gonna fucking stain in his bed and someone's probably like oh azul's poop what could it smell that bad azul's poop smells really bad so it makes sense that drew thought it was like azul's yeah azul azul drops turds and i had no other no other idea like of what it could be and so then i like then i get this like uneasy feeling because i hear like azul knock something off in the room or something falls in inya's room and i'm like i'm like and out loud i'm like god damn it azul like stop throwing shit on the floor and i'm like uh very sussed out now and i'm like like six foot four man just like dart into the doorway and i'm like who the fuck who is this who is this and i and i'm like like literally shocked like

frozen in fear like deer in, like pure fight or flight. And my body was just frozen. Like I couldn't move. I was so petrified. And then like, I'm, we're just looking at each other, which was like, it felt like, yeah, it felt like forever, but it's probably like a split second. It literally felt like 30 years, but it was probably like max three seconds. And he breaks the silence and he's like what are you doing here and like

in my mind i'm like what the fuck are you doing here like you're in my house and so but i i don't remember if i say anything it's like literally two years old now um and so what what happens is like i like dart through our living room because like the way our house is oriented, like I dart into our living room and like my first thought was like, I'm going to grab the knife that I was cutting apples with earlier. It's sitting in the sink. I didn't do the dishes and I'm going to cut this motherfucker up into little pieces. And I like,

I'm going to stand my ground and I'm going to be the man of the house and not like, I'm going to be the man of the house and cut this Yeah, right. I'm like, I'm going to be the man of the house. You're like. And cut this bitch up. I dart into the kitchen. I touch the knife. I pick it up to stab him. This dude's already chasing after me.

And then I'm like, in my head, like split decision. I'm like, I'm the biggest fucking pussy in the world. Like throw the knife back into the sink. This guy's coming after me. I'm like, okay, like I'm fully not fighting at this point. I'm flying away from the scene. Like I'm getting as far away from you as possible rightfully fucking so and i'm like bruh like josh is still in the house like i can't just leave josh in the fucking house with this dude like what type of person would i be and then also in my mind i was

like like after i thought about this i was like oh like like I know I like are like I know I care about y'all but I was like literally like this is like family to me like that I would like put my life I think about that all the time because I'm like the the shape of the house is so small that one I was just thinking this if that man actually wanted to hurt you like he would have done it but obviously he was fucking freaked out too and he was like dude I straight up thought there was no one here yeah um and he was probably just like on this side of the house freaking out being like oh my god i'm gonna go to jail yeah and also like it's so sweet that you were like could have just ran out and been like i hope josh wakes up and like is okay but

you were just like standing in the doorway being like yeah i was like standing in the doorway like screaming for josh i was like josh wake the fuck up someone's in the house like please wake up please please hurry hurry hurry and josh was like drew this isn't a funny joke like why are you joking like i was dead asleep and i'm like josh no i'm not fucking joking like wake up get over here we're leaving and josh like eventually realized like i wasn't trolling because like it's also so funny when you tell this story i like always have to remind myself like this probably whole event took place under like five minutes no it literally took place in less than two minutes like it was like it was like a two minute ordeal like for me but it literally felt so long and then like me and josh eventually comes to the

back door i'm already fumbling with the door because for some reason it's locked already and like it just it would the door was locked whatever we unlocked it like literally out of a fucking horror movie like fumbling with the lock like trying to get it open and y'all already have a hard time at the back door like i already know what it looked like yeah it was just like so absurd we like dart down the stairs into the backyard and we can either go left into the parking garage surrounded by six foot spike fences or we can take a right and go they'll have to jump a fucking fence jump like a four foot fence but like it's not as dangerous as jumping a six foot fence but for some reason we decide to go into our parking garage and jump the spike fucking fences and uh we do that josh like his ankle gets stuck in between the spikes it like cuts up his ankle he literally face plants into

the ground like like hits his cheek really hard he had like a bruised cheek for like weeks after this i jump and i fall and like scrape up my leg and like it was just really pathetic and then we're both barefoot and we sprint to this gas station about like a quarter mile up the street and call 9-1-1 and that's kind of the story of like the home invasion and um this motherfucker um jumped in the exact same spot we jumped in um to get away and like out of like a cartoon like all of his clothes got ripped off like he like all of his clothes were on the fucking pants his shirt his jacket his boxers literally everything that could have gotten ripped off his body except

for his shoes and his socks got ripped off so he was like running through our neighborhood away from the cops like butt ass naked which is fucking hilarious you know what's also crazy i wonder if he made that decision on purpose and took off his clothes and left them behind because he didn't want to be recognized for being in the house based on what he was wearing yeah interesting that's possible and then the cops got here they like searched the house um front door was locked back door was locked um he like was in the house for at least 15 minutes like while i was in here which is like crazy and um i just didn't notice and then he as i said i was sick also right before i left so i had those like naked which also now that i think about it i'm like okay you really do grow a lot as a person, an adult, from the age of 19 to 21.

All right? Because I'm 22 now. So it's like, whatever. But at this time, I had just turned 20. So from 20 to 22, at the age of 20, I thought something good to put in my body when I was sick was a fucking naked juice. Like, that is not good. That is so much sugar and like all the bad for you but that was like something i had like gotten while i was sick you're like this is gonna cure

me this green i need some green this green sugar water is gonna cure me so gross yeah he chugged that girthy ass drink he uh went into the fucking shower in our boiler room in our laundry room and dry shaved his pubes with my razor um and just like i don't i don't i don't understand like how you can do that like that is like the most icky feeling in the world to dry shaving or using someone else's razor dry shaving long ass pubes like long long pubes like with a not even like a yeah no no it was like a fucking yeah and he just razor and it was that's like a bad place to like do that i just meant like hair and like yeah and then he went to our living room like collected some gadgets he got some keys um he scored a car he scored some cameras oh yeah he like put our all of our keys under my pillow in

my room oh yeah also he slept in my fucking bed he laid in my bed and there were pubes all over all over everything and i i still don't know okay he definitely went through my like shit yeah but i had like my room kind of messy because i we just moved in and then i had packed but he went into my closet and like there were underwear everywhere so i think he was going through my underwear for sure because there was like underwear like on your like uh fireplace like there was like it was strung everywhere and then he like he was like a little having a little party he was like me like smelling your underwear what the fuck are you talking about do you smell okay i'm not getting into it it's not weird it's natural anyways and then when drew called me i was in miami and my first thought was does he have my keys he's gonna steal my car

yeah yeah i was like is azul still in the house did he steal my keys and then you'd like and you was like when we called in yet and told her she was like where's azul like is azul okay and she didn't even like give a single shit okay because in my head i was like, when we called Inya and told her, she was like, where's Azul? Like, is Azul okay? And she didn't even like give a single shit about me. Okay, because in my head, I was like, obviously they're okay because they called me and I'm hearing both of their voices. I was a little offended by that. I know. When I look back at it.

But like, also you were talking to someone who like, I've like had so many like, literally like the year before I left the house, we were all sitting in my house and a guy just like came through the front door and was stealing bikes. And then he thought the door was open and my dad walked out and there was just this guy outside of our house, like stealing shit off of our lawn

and like about to walk into the house. So like, again, not to like, I'm not, in my head, like this- You're making my trauma a competition. In my head, this was like normal things that happened in life. So I was like- No, never once never once happened to me but i did i did end up apologizing and i was like sorry that i was like concerned about like all my things yeah i remember just like like calling you like on a high like like i was just like fucking attacked like all this shit and

you're like is this all okay like where's this all okay also like azul just got back so i was like yeah this fucking cat is gone again i'm gonna like i i don't blame you like for freaking out because like he could have just like yes i will defend my behavior to like any lengths and that's what we're learning today yeah um but yeah i did not have the best response i had also just woken up at the ripe time of 1 p.m in miami and i was like so my car is getting stolen and my cat's gone again yeah um but yeah they ended up finding the keys under my pillow because then i begged them to um to throw my shoes away because i literally could i already have issues with my bed being dirty yeah so the fact that he would do that to me thank god i wasn't home drew says all the time and i like always

think about that like if i was home i don't want to think about what yeah no he was on a good one i would be in prison for murder yeah no i don't think i would have gone to prison but after that like i was like i want to get a gun like i want a gun and then like i'm the motherfucker who like gets a gun and it gets used on me. They like shoot me up. Like everyone, everybody talks about like getting a gun for their house and self-defense. And I just don't believe in that because I'm like, yeah, because bitch, you had a knife. Like, no, you if you weren't going to use a knife, you weren't going to use a gun.

Even though like I get it. Knife is like close range content. I think it's a different thing. Okay, but I told you this the fucking other day. I was like like you're the type of motherfucker that if you had a gun in the house he would have came in the house saw the gun been like damn this gun isn't gonna kill anybody it's like a weak gun i'm gonna go to the pawn shop get a better gun and come back yeah i mean there was enough time in between like him being in his house he literally could have found my gun he literally could have uber eat something to our house and that he kept going yeah but so suspect um actually a weird development to the story that happened at christmas

um was they like found the dude like based off a fingerprint christmas miracle yeah they they called me on like the 23rd and was like yo we found the dude like do you want to come in and like um tell us if it's him or not and And I was like, yeah, I'll do that. And then I was like, just call me back when I'm in L.A. And they never did. And they kind of just, the case was closed. It's also like, whatever. It was Jeff, just like a homeless dude who didn't mean any harm

and just thought, he was like, I literally just. He just hit the lottery. Yeah, he was like, I just found an empty house. just found a empty house like i yes i'm sleeping i'm like living here and i'm squatting and i'm grooming myself exactly this is i'm marking my territory no if i was in his position i would have done the same thing yeah what the fuck like 100 um so that happened and then continuing the cursed house saga yeah so i come back from my miami trip and i don't where do you go i think you went back to texas yeah i probably was like i need to get out of this house yeah drew ended up going back to texas when i came back and by this time it was like

oh i guess it was a month later because or whatever basically it was the day after fourth of july no literally where were you if it was fourth of july i was in texas we didn't spend fourth of july here though i feel like we did it with josh's family that year i i was i've never had a fourth year i've always gone back oh okay oh i went to josh's house for the fourth of july and i came back to the house it was like a day later and um i was just here solo vibing um i was sitting around all day and then i just was like okay i need to like shower and do something because i've been on my fucking iphone all day so i got up to go racking up them screen time hours literally i so i got up and i was like i'm gonna wash the dishes and like take a shower. So I went to go run the shower and the water didn't turn on.

And I was like, what the fuck? Because we don't cover the water. Yeah. Our landlord covers. Yeah. We do power. Whatever. Yeah.

They do water. So I was like, what the fuck? And then I came to the kitchen and the water wasn't working in there either. And I was like, huh? Okay. Again, this is at the ripe age of 20 as now a 22 year old i would have been like i'm calling my fucking landlord and i'm gonna be like what the fuck is happening with the water but as a 20 year old i was like it'll fix itself i'm sure

yeah and i was like maybe they're working on the pipes like well i don't know what the fuck that would mean but whatever so i go to my room i'm working on your pipes now what if i slap the fuck out of you bitch i'm sorry i'm sorry now everyone listening is like oh my god did she slap him oh so i go to my room and it was like summertime so my windows were open and beautiful summer breeze let the summer breeze in set no literally like our house is an oven and i'm like please if i could just get one fucking gust of air into my room i will like convert to pure religion they know our house is an oven based off of how my fucking face looks right now i am sweating you don't look like you're sweating at all you look beautiful stop really you look pretty too i know i look pretty shut up okay so um i'm in

my room i'm on iphone again back to iphone that's maybe the universe that day was like just stay on iphone so i went back to my room i'm on iphone again and i am nosy as fuck and i hear my neighbors on the phone so i turn off iphone and i start listening and the neighbor under us was like yeah i smelled this burning smell and like the water isn't working and i don't know last time this happened like i didn't say anything and i and i feel like i should have i regret which yeah she was like i regretted it and i was like okay first of all what the fuck happened in your past life two times this is the second time this happened to you but then i was like oh okay and right after she's off the phone i get a call from my landlord she's like is the water working in your house and

i was like no i assumed like y'all were working on something and she was like um no i'm just laughing because like our water being off is like a normal occurrence to us because we just don't pay our bills like it's just like it's just like funny because like we don't pay our bills we have well no not the water being off but like the heat going just like all of our shit being off all the time it's just normal to us because like we don't have any bills on auto pay i don't i don't believe in auto pay you shouldn't be taking money out of my account i should be giving you money don't take money from me exactly let's wait till everything turns off and then i'll think about giving you money. And then I'll beg for you to turn everything on quick.

We literally have a $3,100 bill that we haven't paid in 18 months. Don't fucking expose this. Oh my God, that's why my credit is bad because that's under my name. Is your credit bad right now? Yes, and I've been paying everything and i was like okay i'm paying all my bills why is my credit so bad what is it at i don't want to say it publicly that's embarrassing sign it and we're literally on video wait sign it back here sign it back here oh my god

that's why today i was like what if we just paid it no we need to pay it now i didn't know it was that bad i'm over here suffering in silence you literally need to yeah we need to i was like why is it so bad and then i was like oh maybe it's a medical bill and i went this isn't sponsored i went through credit karma and i was like let's see what it is and those medical bills i think got like either absolved or like they're they just don't show up because they're from like private like health collection agencies yeah um and i was like it's not that yeah we need to pay that literally today because that's like not fair that's not true that's not chill at all but we and then we also have another bill for 500 and today i got so excited i was like fuck yeah like they have salt like they just washed the bill they like took the

three thousand dollars away they were like you know what we'll give them a break like it was covid like and i thought i finessed the fucking system i was like they're not gonna come for their money like they're just making us pay this new bill that was also $500. But it's just a different bill that was just as expensive. And now we owe like $4,000 to LA government. People are going to think like we're really fucking stupid. And we are. But like the way it started was me and Drew were like sitting in the kitchen like this time last year with a friend of ours. And we opened the bill in front of him and literally

our reactions were like at the time the bill was like 1600 yeah and we had been paying the bill but i think from josh's ac unit and us running the ac for the first summer ever the bill just skyrocketed it was like a thousand dollars in one month in energy or some yeah it was like insane and we were like we opened it and we literally go like it was like an actual like jump scare like i needed a trigger warning like i should have fucking sued the government for not putting a goddamn trigger warning on that bill because it was so fucking hot it that bill triggered my fire flight and then um again we love the reaction of people and he was just like our homie was like oh my god what and like we showed him and he also was like oh my god i've never seen that in my life and we were like wait wait we need to get it higher we need to get higher and

like something we do like on very unhealthy and very stupid and very bad obviously now we know for our credit or any credit um is uh we just like rack the bill up and we see how long we can go without paying it like it's just like fun like it's a little game and also it's like it's like okay that's not a me right now did you break your nail i just fucking broke my nail. You're so annoying. That scream was so loud. I don't even remember it. You're so fucking annoying. This chair is so uncomfortable with these shorts. Stop, because they're like getting shorter as you move up.

Okay. But yeah, we just love the reaction we got out of our friends. We were like, we should keep doing this. And I did it today. I was like, I want to see something crazy. Oh yeah, we got a good ass reaction out of Mason. Mason was like, oh my God. And that's like the best part of it.

But we should do that. I just don't believe in bills and I don't believe in medical bills. I shouldn't have to be paying for anything medically happening to me. And I'll carry that. Comrade. A medical debt debt that's a debt i'll carry till the day i i'm like clean my teeth no yeah i'll pay you later wink wink i'll pay you no i got you i'm gonna be like do the surgery oh do the surgery on me oh what are you gonna you're gonna make what are you gonna take it back you're gonna undo the surgery yeah try to undo the surgery um while we're exposing our while we're exposing our medical wheels i want

to talk about my gynecologist this one i actually have to pay because i have to go back to the gynecologist but um i can just do it for you yeah just spread me open girl we could use some tongs no no that's all you have to do is just like make me uncomfortable back like we play the sus game but like the straight sus game that's like the sus game did you just make that No, that's something like if you said that even six months ago to someone that it would make absolutely no sense to them. Like actually it makes no sense now. You just said it to me and it made no sense. It made no sense at all. Okay.

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Last bill I'll expose is, I went to like the the gynecologist like six no dude it's almost a year ago now i went to the gynecologist because i was like i need to just go get my coochie checked on because something funky is happening down there this discharge looks a little funky funky town is getting a little too funny and honestly honestly like her discharge did taste weird like funky town was violating some of the clauses in their bill um but yeah it was itchy itchy stink stink ah that's the scary part. It didn't smell different.

That was what was scaring me, actually. But basically, I found out that I had bacterial vaginosis and a yeast infection at the same damn time, which is pretty common. We made sourdough bread in that oven. What the fuck is wrong with you? But basically, when I went, they were like were like oh that was a bar they were like you have to get tests to know if you have bacterial vaginosis and they were like well we have to test this swab um and that the lab tests are gonna run you like 500 because i also don't have health insurance and then I was like okay and they were like oh but you could just pay $250 now and we'll send you the $250 bill later if that makes you

more comfortable well like when after we get the test results back we'll give you the rest and I was like yeah I'm gonna do that because like one I don't want to spend $500 right now and then two how the fuck do I know y'all are actually gonna give me those results um so I was like okay and I spent the $250 and I was like okay yeah I even had the voice memos that i sent to you when i was like i just spent 500 for my pussy to be fucking swabbed um but like the fact that that's a voice memo on my phone i need to find it um basically not too long later i get a pretty little bill in the mail and i'm like oh this is the 250 io i opened it and it's 1600 and it doesn't they gave me an itemized bill it doesn't have any late fees on there or anything that's see that's why you bitches should have kept your fucking

mouth shut letting everyone letting everyone know that we need i like i wish there was a way for everyone to know that you needed to get an itemized bill without the people themselves knowing like the people who will give you itemized bill because now they know that they're like bitch don't ask any questions we're gonna send you the itemized bill you can't even ask for it yeah um but basically i haven't paid that back and i'd literally rather my fucking pussy shrivel up and fall off my body than to go back like because i die i'm not giving y'all any more money we're literally just airing out like us like breaking the law like we are literally criminals and fugitives because i have a medical bill that i have insurance like i have insurance and for some reason they keep

trying to get me to pay 260 and i'm like evading that bill like fuck y'all I'm not paying that like come for my credit I don't even have a credit score because I will never ever ever ever get a credit score I swear to god girl you say that and so we need to fucking get our own apartments and how the fuck are you gonna move in you're gonna co-sign for me I will I do that for all my

friends thank you I was thinking about that last night I was like now how the fuck am I gonna get a car in an apartment I was like i'll just have someone co-sign i literally would co-sign i co-sign for all my days i'll take the l because i don't because i don't believe in that shit anyway i'm like a credit score i don't know what the fuck you're talking about like no i'm like you can see my credit score but i don't know if you want to believe that kind of stuff like they say all sorts of lies these days no no no um but yeah we need to pay that bill because like i'm actually suffering so no because you're not gonna we're not gonna be

able to get our own places yeah i know my credit score is not budging i'm just gonna have to be like please look like believe in me put some faith in me have a little trust in me we should wait until the stock market crashes the housing market crashes because it's just been put afloat they've been prolonging 2008 for so long and then we should just buy houses because there'll be like literally pennies on the dollar like i will buy a 3.1 million dollar home for 1 million dollars and i will get rich in four years off that house baby that's my i don't know anything about that anyway let's get back to the topic of this fucking podcast yeah we went from our house almost being fucking destroyed to uh we were broken in oh and then okay we haven't finished that yet

my coochie aside we're back to 2020 my coochie was in good faith at that point. Coochie's in good faith? Dude, I'm sweating hard. Yeah, me fucking too. Anyways, sweat is natural and it's okay. And if you see my sweat stains, like... You're lit. It's chill.

It's because I'm too lit to quit. I just made that up. Anyways, so she calls me and she's like is the water working and i'm like no and then she's like okay um we're gonna come check it out so i'm just again i go back to being on iphone i'm doing my thing and then she calls me again she's like hey can you come downstairs and i'm like yeah i'll come downstairs and we have like a love hatehate relationship with our landlord. Oh, no.

After last night, I fucking hate her. I despise her and landlords are fucking evil. And now I fully believe in it. At first, I had good faith because any older woman, I'm like, you're mommy and I have issues. So like, I love it. You're my mommy. But now I fucking hate her the way everybody hates. All landlords are evil.

Yeah. At the end of the day. So go downstairs and at the side of the house i don't know why this was never locked off it's if it's like facing the public and very easily accessible but again our landlord fucking sucks actually and the access to the water pipes was open-faced unlocked to the fucking sidewalk like on the street it's a busy sidewalk yeah i didn't realize this until like six months ago when you were telling the story again i didn't realize it was that water no yeah it's like on the side of the house that's not gated off so you would think

she has it's locked off now so if you're planning on fucking killing us you can't bitch and i won't die by the hands of anybody and i have a gun now we don't have a gun but um okay yeah sure we have a gun um we have like rockets and like so many guns and stuff yeah and a knife and a pocket knife and a butterfly knife and rockets and c4 i'll blow up my house and i have a supreme knife so i have the gucci guilty ghost knife bitch Yeah. There's a goddamn story. So I go downstairs. I go to the side of the house. And they're like all standing around this hole in the wall. Like everybody in the building.

And I'm like, you fucking old haggardy bitches. What are y'all doing? And I like pull up. Pull up hoe. Pull up hoe. Literally. Okay. We did not get through one story story i looked down and she's like

oh yeah very casual about it she goes oh someone turned off the water on y'all side of the house and tried to set something on fire under there and i was like huh and i i like crawl under and look in and lo and behold the water is turned off on our side and also there's like this pile of burned shit like not human feces but just like garbage like someone ripped up newspaper like very intentional and like took time someone ripped up newspaper there's like a coke can i was about to say and there it looked like fabric in the photo you sent yeah like someone shredded like flammable items and put them down there and like half of it was set on fire but i think because it was like surrounded by dirt it just went out really quick

thank god or it's just our guardian angels shut your fucking trap um anyways and so i was like oh this is attempted arson we need to report this this is we literally live in the most flammable city in the fucking world we need to report this and literally the neighbors old haggardy people who don't fucking care about their life anymore apparently i'm like i'm young and i have a long life to live you don't care about your 40 year old life anymore but i care about my life i have 20 years to be sad like you yeah i got 20 more years so i get there but they were like oh no it's not that big of a deal. And I was like, am I living like I feel like I'm pretty chill. Like I'm a chill girl. She's chill.

But I'm like, someone just attempted to literally burn our apartment complex down on top of they probably thought they turned off the water in the whole fucking building. They wanted us to have no chance of putting this fire. Yeah. Like real evil shit. Yeah. And they were like, oh, 4th of July was yesterday. It's probably just some kids playing around. I was like, oh, yeah, they were like oh fourth of july was yesterday it's probably just some kids playing around i was like oh yeah no just some kids attempting arson yeah like what do you mean just some kids lighting fireworks under like oh and they also had like

a weird fucking explanation they were like oh some kid probably lit a firework and it just like shot under the house and i was like how is that fucking possible literally a pile of flammable goods under here but basically no one wants to do anything about it. And I was home alone. And I was like, what the fuck? And they turned on the water. And they were like, it's not a big deal. And our landlord was like, I'll just lock this up so no one does it again.

And I'm like. It wasn't locked before? Yeah, it wasn't. Like, what? And she was like, no, yeah, we'll just lock it. It's no big deal anymore. And yeah. And then I came back upstairs.

And I was like, I'm going to report this. Because, like, again, attempted arson in the most flammable city. Like they tried to burn our fucking house down. Like it was like, it was like a planned attack. They turned the water off. Yeah, I know. So I called the non-emergency line and I was like, hey, I want to like report something that happened. And they were like, okay, is this in a house or a building?

And I was like, oh, it's in like an apartment building. And they were like, oh, if you're making a report on something that happened to like a property you don't own, you can't file it. Your landlord has to. So I called my landlord. I was like, hey, can you file this? I would feel comfortable if this was like on record just in case anything does happen and our fucking house burns down. It's like, oh oh this should be looked into

like someone's tried to do this before yeah and she's like no i don't want to and then she just never did yeah and also um our the when our house was broken into we like asked our landlord we were like yo can you like install cameras and like ring doorbells? Yeah, because like we were like this, it's just not very secure. Yeah, it's not very secure. Like this is weird. And she was like, no, we can't do that. Sorry. And then that was the end of the conversation.

Yeah, we were like, you can't do anything for security purposes. She was like, I don't want to. She changed the locks and that was it. Yeah. Like, okay. Like, thank you. But so then that happens. so wait keep going and then like two weeks later we're all very uncomfortable in this terrified like literally i can't be alone

like it's actually sad because like i would go i'd like start falling asleep in my bedroom and then i'd hear something and i'd be like inya can i like come sleep in your room oh yeah drew literally had to sleep in my room for like months i could not sleep alone like i couldn't be alone in this house and then um oh like just some weird incidents that happened in between like i was home alone for the first time i was like excited to do it like it was i was like yes like i'm doing it like i actually feel kind of comfortable like i'm not like scared shitless i mean i was scared shitless i like had knives with me in my bedroom and i my i was locked up in my room the whole night um and i'm like getting ready to fall asleep it's like 1 or 2 a.m and then i hear these like loud ass bangs on my front door like yeah and it's like glass so it's like fucking like

yeah it's just it's not even like that it's like fucking loud it's loud as shit and i'm like oh my fucking god and like literally i've never like experienced like that amount of like fear and dread and just like like even in the moment of like the home invasion no because now you're having your body at first you were feeling shocked but now your body's like oh i know this yeah i know the situation like i freaked the fuck out i was like shaking like panicking i didn't know what to do i was like planning on jumping out of my balcony um door like onto the cars below and then i was like i was freaking the fuck out so i called india and i was like yo like someone's banging on the door someone's trying to get in like they, they're breaking in. Like, I, like, started hiding in my closet because I was just, like, so petrified. Like, I wish I could, like, get across, like, the fear.

No, it was pure fear because I was sleeping over at a friend's house. And I got that call. And I, like, literally immediately got up and put clothes on because I was like, oh, my God. Something's happening. Yeah, I was genuinely terrified. And, like, I don't want to, self diagnose or anything but like for like a long time i genuinely think i had like real ptsd like from that's literally not self-diagnosing because ptsd is literally when you're you've rewired your brain now and like even like the slightest chance of like danger, you go into full fledged mode because your body or your brain cannot like identify a situation.

Whether it's like, oh, this is like worst case scenario or not. Like your brain is just like, we need to protect because last time we weren't ready to protect. It was just so gnarly. I was freaking the fuck out. And then like, like I'm freaking the fuck out. And so I'm like, okay, I just i have to go i have a knife i have a knife like i'll be safe so i go to the front door and literally it was a fucking postmates driver um and orion accidentally ordered postmates to our house at 2 a.m which like

just at the wrong time yeah like like the worst possible time like if in you was here would have been okay or yeah i'd probably have been like who the fuck is that and just like because also mind you like even after last night like i don't have a lot of fear in this house but that's also because like i have like actual fucking boiled wine brain and i'm just like real shit to be afraid of yeah i'm just like i spent too much of my life afraid of something's gonna happen something's gonna happen which is a lie because i did get very scared but whatever um yeah but yeah and then i came and got drew yeah they came and picked me up and then i went and slept at that friend's house because i could not be alone and i ruined the night

no it was a sleigh we weren't doing anything we were literally vibing i don't like when i do my sleep i was like i like i'm in for i like there's no sleeping at the over there's no sleeping till it's over um okay and then so two weeks after the fucking fire incident the arson yeah the attempted arson me josh and drew are all at home and we our sleeping schedules are pretty bad at this point like i was staying up till like 6 7 a.m and everyone else was and we were like fuck okay let's just fix our oh let's just fix our sleeping schedule and and so we just like literally just eat a bunch of sleep aid like not a bunch like a normal amount but we're like let's get our sleeping schedule back on track like let's like do this like let's all wake up at 7 a.m tomorrow

and just like start our day and have a good day so like we we take the sleeping medicine and then i go to my room and also at this time if you know my room my room was originally the living room of this house so i didn't have like doors like there's a two entryways to the to what what is my room now but what was supposed to be the main living room there's two entryways there's like a like glass door that you swing open and then there was just a an empty space so at this point i still didn't have a door i still didn't have anything to cover up that fucking glass door i was living in a fucking in a viewing room in a literal like living room yeah like literally covered in windows there's a balcony couldn't use my wing bot someone could have easily what was that just a random tiktok started playing um couldn't use my wing bot

couldn't do anything i wanted in my room because i didn't have a room i was living in the living room wing bot junior 3000 yeah i couldn't explain to the people what a wing bot is they don't know oh i don't want that to be public information fine okay me and orion call our vibrator we have the same one and we call it wing bot because it looks like a little wing it looks like a little chicken wing yeah okay um so yeah you get the juice no privacy my room is empty and also the house gets really fucking dark at night. And I was honestly so freaked out because it was just pitch black in my room. And again, we're in summertime.

I had the windows kind of open because I want the breeze to come in. And we all take our sleeping medicine. We're drowsy. I go to my room and I'm watching YouTube videos. And I hear a child scream. A screech. Like a scream. A screech. Like a scream. Not a scream,

like a blood curdling screech. And at this point, it's like almost 1 a.m. So I was like, that's not normal. But you know, one scream. Okay, I can let that pass.

And I keep watching and I'm also drowsy. So I'm like, I can't like rate my reaction right now. I don't know if I'm overreacting. So that one scream, I'm like, whatever. And then I keep watching and I'm also drowsy. So I'm like, I can't like rate my reaction right now. I don't know if I'm overreacting. So that one scream, I'm like, whatever. And then I keep watching my video and then I hear another scream and it's like getting closer to my room.

And I was like, this is not okay. Yeah. And my windows were open, but like the blinds were down. Yeah. So I like kind of go and peek and I don't see anything. And I'm like, this is so fucking weird. So, so scary. And so then you like text me and you're like, anything and i'm like this is so fucking weird so so scary and so then you like text me and you're like drew there's like a kid screaming outside my um outside my

window right now and i'm like oh it's probably just like someone getting home late after a road trip blah blah blah or it's probably our neighbor blah blah blah like let's not put too much thought into it and then it like keeps getting worse and i'm like no please come and listen because it keeps like it was going on forever yeah and then he comes to my room and he hears it and we're just like like when i tell you like instant like like again blood i mean blood like flushes out of my face like i become like pale i get goosebumps like i have like shivers on my body like it was not like a normal scream and literally and you have like a recording because this is this is the second time actually i have both instances on video but the other one's on my phone other phone this is the scream but

this is like a year later like this scream happened again but it's just like terrible like what is that like what is that also i remember someone was like it's a coyote i'm like have you heard a fucking coyote yeah that's not a fucking coyote that is not a coyote um so like our we don't live in an area for coyotes we live in like the city the middle of the city and so we hear that we're both petrified inya is like or i'm like okay like let's go investigate like let's like let's go see what this is i want a story like i want to like bust the the case of it and i'm just like there's a kid being killed and i just want to make sure that there's no kid being yeah so like i just want to see and make sure we both wanted to like investigate we were like let's like figure this out like we but for different reasons like i wanted i wanted clout um but and then so we were but we were also like dude i we're so drowsy off this

sleeping medicine this feels like a bad idea but i was like okay we're not doing anything crazy i was like let's not walk down the street because god forbid there's like danger which again is ass backwards because we were like drowsy off sleeping medicine but we didn't take like fucking we weren't on like a downer we were literally on z-quill it was like i could i could sleep if i wanted yeah um but i wasn't like delusional but basically i'm like let's just get in my car we can drive down the street and like turn our flashes down because if it is a kid i don't want a kid to be like scared of my headlights and be like and like hide or anything which i don't know why i thought that but it kind of

makes sense delusional off the sleeping medicine yeah so i was like i'm gonna turn off my headlights and like drive down the street i was all for it in the moment yeah yeah no definitely like this even now i'm like it kind of makes sense but it really doesn't but whatever we're cruising down the street now like looking out our windows like trying to see if we see this kid anywhere and like there's nothing and mind you this is within like 30 seconds of the kid screaming so like he couldn't have or they couldn't have gone far at all Like if there was like a kid like in danger out there. So we're like cruising down the street looking for like this child. We see nothing.

And then like we pull up a little bit further to this like house that we thought was vacant. Yeah. Because like no one has ever been there the entire time we've lived here. Like there's never been a car parked in there. And randomly there like a car parked there it's like 2 a.m behind the gate behind the gate with the trunk up and there's three women like just unloading like giant bags giant bags of just like we don't know what yeah and you can assume they were moving in because also like they had their blinds open and it's such a weird like memory to think of because like the lights in their house were like fluorescent like white bright lights and the walls were all white in there and it was empty.

It was completely empty. Yeah the home was empty so like you could assume they were moving in but what they said to us was so fucking weird. So suspect. They were just chilling out there and we we we pull up to like talk to them so we like i was like here let me like see if they heard anything so i rolled down my window and they're like oh do you live here um and we're like what we're like do we live there like do y'all live there like y'all are parked in the parking lot because they were like do you live here do

you need us to move our car and we were like what what do you mean and so instant red flags like i don't know about any but my heart started racing i was like this is very very weird like what is happening so then i'm like i'm just gonna ask them like did y'all hear a kid screaming like did y'all hear that kid screaming like less than two minutes ago and they were like no like it felt like almost defensive it was just weird yeah like no we didn't hear anything we haven't heard anything yeah so we were like huh and i was like how long have y'all been outside and they've they were like oh we've been here a while yeah like i don't know it was it was just so suspect and we were kind of like um me and inya instantly were just like weirded the

fuck out so like we we turned the lights on. We get the fuck out of there. We like drive around the block. And I was like, don't pull in to. Irrational fears just started taking over. Yeah, we just started freaking out. I was like, don't pull into our driveway. Like I don't want them to see where we live.

Just pull around the block and go the back way. Because I don't want them to see that we live in this house. So they can come and attack us. So like we drive around the block. And then I way because i don't want them to see that we live in this house so they can come and attack us so like we drive around the block and then i'm like you know what i'm curious i want to see if they're still out there so like inya like pulls out and then we see this like fucking scary ass man like stumbling down the street like like if you've seen attack on titan like running like one of the titans like just like fucking weird as shit and we're me and you're staring at this and we're like it looks like he's coming like right at us like yeah and then it also looked like he had a kid on his

shoulders again just like our brains were going like everywhere yeah so we were freaking the fuck out at this dude just like charging at us and we were like oh my god like he's gonna attack us like he's like what i don't know what he must be the titans because they're gonna attack me i haven't seen the show you're not the titan he's the titan oh yeah yeah dumb ass don't reference shit you don't know especially if it's like a really good anime i'm a girl yeah girls don't watch anime but yeah so basically we got scared and then we drove around i drove around the block because i didn't want him to see where we lived and we finally got home and then i was so fucking scared shitless me and drew slept in his room and i said yeah we slept on the opposite side of the house because we were like if there's a kid out there screaming like i don't want to hear it again

and like looking back we probably should have like reported that but like literally we had just already reported like yeah something and i was like yeah two things and i was like i don't want to the other thing like other than the home invasion was literally like a homeless dude walking down the street like maybe less than a week after the house i think this one happened after the scream oh really yeah i can't remember yeah whatever but basically we um i was already asleep so i'll let inya tell this story me and josie were hanging out in my room and we were just like no yeah this was after because i think i think i had a door at this point because i remember we locked my door yeah so this was after the scream.

We were finally settling back down. We were like, okay, life is okay. We can live here. And me and Josie were hanging out in my room at like 1 a.m. And then we hear yelling and we're like, we stop our phones and like any music and we're like, what is that? Like, like, like that type of like that what was that what was that that's literally me and jessie like hold on what was that um so we hear like fucking mumbling and screaming and then we're like frozen in fear and like listening yeah a grown-ass man and then we just hear glass shattering and our front door is glass and it

it well after we realized why it sounded like it was fucking at our front door but we heard it at our front door and me and josie are josie ran to drew's room and i like was looking out the window to see if anybody was around which again like i'm brave as shit in these events i'm just like let me put my whole fucking face in view so they know that like a woman is in the house. Like, like so dumb. But Josie went to go wake up Drew and Drew is like panicking. I like, I was deep asleep at this point. And Josiah like shakes me awake.

He's like, Drew, Drew, like glass is breaking. Like someone's, someone's here. Like wake up, like wake up. And he has a knife in his hand. And I'm like, Josiah, this is like the worst joke to play on me ever right now like i'm literally so scared i'm already asleep like i'm basically crying at this point freak the fuck out still like ptsd ridden from the fucking home invasion and josiah's like i'm not fucking joking again i go into this fear mode my heart's racing like yeah every we all like run to my room and lock it and we're like

all in there and like and i like call the police and i'm like i don't know like i hear glass breaking and like also last time when that guy broke into our house he actually broke the neighbor the downstairs neighbor's doors uh windows first so i was like dude i don't know if it's like our windows or their windows but like something just broke i heard glass shatter and like a man screaming and rustling around, but I don't know what's happening. The return of the intruder. Literally. And then the police show up fucking forever later because that's what they do.

They're like, that doesn't sound... No one's dead, I guess. Yeah, fuck. So they show up finally. It takes fucking forever. Remember, I actually had to call them again because I was like, no one's here still yeah um they're like they're patrolling the block i'm like girl shut the fuck up patrol my ass um and then they come and they basically laugh in our face and they're like what it was just a homeless person who threw a glass bottle at your front doorstep at your door

and there was glass everywhere and they they're so fucking stupid they were like did you do this i was like yeah no i did it in my drunken stoop i just broke glass and then called y'all yeah we did it so annoying um but basically they laughed at us and they were like well there's literally no one around and i was like yeah because y'all took an hour to get here bitch um but that was that and then we were safe for a while like almost a year yeah a year of nothingness other than when you got high and freaked out you thought i got high i got like i don't get high often but when i do i get high people really don't believe the like paranoia yeah no i get like high, like paralyzed in fear high.

And off of nothing. Yeah, like it was like two milligram weed drink that I like got absolutely blasted in the outer space. And like I go to my room and I'm laying there and like my room has a bunch of windows and like you can see into our backyard and into our neighbor's backyard. And you can see where it was like trash day. And so all the trash cans were on the street. And I was like, like I was hearing rustling around and I was like oh i'm about to see like a raccoon like fun and then like i like hear our like our garbage cans like open and like there's like digging in the garbage can and i look over there and i'm like i'm like there's a there's a guy in our garbage can digging and he called me and i was like oh yeah i was like people do that because

they like get the cans and you were like i was and you were like but he's in the backyard yeah i was like so scared like irrationally afraid and then i like see like a white figure like dart through our bushes in the backyard and i'm like they're in our backyard like they're coming they're gonna break into the house like and like inya's like like comes into my room and like calms me down and i'm like but it was literally probably just a raccoon the entire time yeah like there's a chance i wasn't even a human yeah but like i was terrified but that was the only time i was other than that it was a we've had a very calm year and i despite everything it's my luck because i haven't like actually experienced like seeing another random stranger human in our house and like had that kind of fear.

Stranger human. I haven't seen like a stranger in the house, so I don't have that kind of fear. But I was, I'm chill alone. Like I enjoy spending like time alone in the house and I like to claim that I'm like not scared of anything. But actually that's a lie. I'm not scared of ghosts and shit because I don't believe in that shit, but I do believe in fucking scary-ass murderers who want to kill me for no reason.

So last night, we invite Mason and Orion and Zamar, who ended up backing out, which I wish Zamar was here because Zamar's reaction would have been so funny. So me, Drew, Orion, mason watched the bachelor last night so we're having a little bachelor night and we're sitting there and we're watching and whatever and drew ends up like going to sleep because we had a long ass day and we stay up and we finish and then we're like we stay up even longer and we're watching like tiktoks on the tv and just like you know doing

what like young people do yeah just chilling like a hard chill hardcore chilling um and then it's like midnight and mason and ryan are like all right we're gonna leave and i was like okay cool and i go downstairs to walk them out you're like okay finally y'all overstay y'all's welcome every fucking time y'all are so fucking y'all smell like shit um but i'm like that's perfect 12 30 we have the podcast tomorrow i need to go to sleep anyways um so i go to walk them out and i like i follow them downstairs to lock the door and like to hug them by so like i hug them by and they turn around and they both turn to me because we were talking about like going to a bar or something like this week um and they were like and orion turns she's like oh just hit me up like whenever

you're free and you want to do that and i was like okay and then she like looks to the side and she's like like orion's shocked face is the best funny she's like oh yeah she goes oh and but she she goes oh um and like pushes me back in and mason's like looks to the side i was like oh my god and is like also scared and she's like your neighbor's door's just fucking wide open and it's dark in there and i was like what it's like 12 30 yeah it's like 12 30 and this is like an old couple so it's not normal behavior at all so i like close the door behind me because azul's like roaming the house and i don't want her to get out um again my main worry through anything is always azul's like well-being because she's literally my child she's helpless um she's fucking stupid that's what she is oh little azul

we need to have an episode with azul we need to enter an interview yeah we could just fucking put her in a kennel here and she'll scream for an hour that would actually be hilarious that's our day off okay um and then i like i i start laughing because when I'm nervous or like uncomfortable, I start cracking the fuck up. So I'm just like cracking up and I'm like, stop, stop. And I like start laughing my ass off. And then we, I was just like, okay, let's just like stand outside for a second and see maybe they like, like left the house to go grab something out of their car.

And they're like coming back. I don't know. I was just like making up things they could have been doing. Smoking a blunt on the street. Yeah, maybe like this 80-year-old couple was like, fuck it. Like, let's go grab ketamine off of our dealer. He just pulled up. Like, let's just go grab it.

So we were standing there and nothing. So I start cracking up. And I'm like, stop. No, I'm not kidding. I don't like this. I can't do this again. For more info, I just binge watched that whole JCS like criminology fucking psycho criminology account.

Like I just watched so many things about murder. Literally like 30 hours of murder. Yeah, I just consumed 13 hours of pure murder, terror, and like human... Mutilation. Deception and mutilation. So I'm... My mind is like, oh my god, yeah, no, they got killed. They got killed.

Like they're dead or... Or we're dead next. Yeah, they're like... The person's gonna drop out. They broke in there. They killed the family. And like dipped. So I'm freaked out.

And Mason and Orion were like, okay, so what now? And like, Orion's like, just fucking go inside. Like, because we were just like, okay, let's not make this a big deal. Whatever, go inside. And I was like, I don't like this. And Mason was like, do you want me to stay? Because I was like, Drew's literally asleep. And if I wake Drew up, he's going to just freak out.

Like, it's not going to be helpful. Like, I'm just going to scare him. Yeah. Like, I don't want to like, scare him so i was just like oh my god and mason's like do you want me to stay and because i can't ask anybody in my life for help ever even if i'm like in pure fear and whatever um i ignored him and i was like no you guys could go oh my god and i start crying because i'm like i fall alone like i'm And I, like, just melt into pure fear. And, like, I'm not too close to Mason, but he saw me at, like, one of my weakest points last night.

Like, because I just, like, melted into fear. And then, basically, we're like, okay, let's just try and close it. And Orion was like, I'll just close it. Like, maybe they left it open. And I was like, okay. And she goes to close it, but it won't close. And, and like there's a dead body on the other side stop holding it up she went to go close it and it wouldn't close and then we started now her fingerprints are on the scene yeah she closed it it like didn't close all the way but it was like kind of close i was like okay

and we were saying there was like it was like still a foot open though yeah no no it like held for a second and then it was like kind of windy out and it just like fully blew back up and we were like, no! And we all ran into my house and I was like freaking out and we didn't know what to do and we were like calling our friends and we were like, what do we do? Like, I was like, I don't want to fucking call the police, dude. They fucking suck balls. They're not helpful.

So then we didn't know what to do because it was like now almost 1 a.m. And I hit up my landlord and I was like, hey, like there's a situation happening. And I like said the address of this is where I fucked up. Yeah. I said the building number instead of the actual apartment number. Yeah. So she assumed I was talking about another apartment and this comes in later but i just wanted to clarify so i'm like there's a situation happening here blah blah and then um our friends on who we called were just like okay just like knock on the door like maybe they

went to sleep because i was even saying i was like dude we're probably overreacting they probably they're an older couple they forgot to close the door it's not that deep like whatever so orion was like do you want me to knock on the door and i was like yes because i literally can't do that and so she rung the doorbell and knocked on the door and we stood there for a minute and nothing and then i was like do i ring it again and we just stood there for five minutes ringing the doorbell like literally hell and it's not the kind of doorbell that like the sound is at the front the sound was coming from the back like in the house like upstairs in the house so i kept ringing it and i even gave it like a double

ring like a triple ring at some point and nothing so i was like dude there's no one in there's dead bodies in there yeah there's no one alive in there and i was like no yeah they fucking they're dead um and then at this point i'm like dead asleep right yeah and then like for some reason i can just like feel this energy like i feel this energy shift and like there's just this okay turn and so i like i wake up i wake up and i go in there because i can feel this energy shift because i like have really great intuition a motherfucking liar um he told us that he got cold so he woke up to turn off his fucking ac and then he heard us freaking out no no no no i felt this energy like no you're a fucking liar bitch um so my landlord calls me and drew pulls up finally and he hears like the tail end of it. And it's basically she's thinking or my landlord is just like, oh, they're out of town. Yeah, they're out of town.

No one should be in that unit. Like it should be locked. And that piques our interest. Yeah. That like sends me over. I'm like, stop. I fucking hate this. And I was like, OK, no.

So I'm like, I'm just going to call the non-emergency line because my landlord also sucks fucking balls and won't do anything and won't do anything a landlord like girl your job is to lord the land like and you're not lording the land you're telling one of your payers to lord the land because she was like she's like hmm what do you think we should do and i'm like why the fuck are you asking me, bitch? And I'm like, well. Get your ass over here and lock the fucking door. Yeah. Me earlier being like, now as a 22-year-old, I would yell at her, but I still can't because I'm like scared.

I'm like, what if she kicks me out? But basically, she's like, what should we do? And I was like, I don't know. And she's like, okay, call the police and have like i don't know and she's like okay call the police and have them inspect and make sure that there's no random people in the house and then um tell me what happens then and i was like sure and i hung up and she i was like she's telling me to fucking to pull a full-on investigation so loud yeah and she's like break the law real quick and then she's like or like are your roommates there like are one of the men in the house can they lock the door because i

you're literally you shouldn't do that she's like are any of the men in the house like like i'm a man like yeah i literally said to her i was like i was like there's boys in the house we don't have men here yeah and she like laughed and she's like, okay, have one of them close the door. And I was like, what? Basically, I end up calling the non-emergency. I tell them and they're like, oh, yeah, we have to send a patrol unit there. Like, it's a fucking open house. Like, we have to. There might be someone inside.

Yeah, there might be someone squatting in there. So. They send the two most rinkety dinkety like fucking bullshit cops i've ever seen in my entire life literally children also there are fucking eggs it takes two hours and i'm not kidding it takes two fucking hours for anyone to show up i had to call three times and but in between it was so funny because we would like we were standing in silence and just like okay we sat on the stairs for literally two hours basically just like listening for sounds from the apartment and we'd hear like a single like literally our old house just creak and we'd all

jump up and be like and at one point we like went down the stairs to like investigate a little more and like i like am recording i actually just got chills from the sound and like i'm recording and we're all like dead silence and we hear this like like like breathing sound from inside the apartment and like we all freak the fuck out we scream and run back inside if someone was in there we were not being good at being like we don't know what's happening don't kill us we we sounded like we wanted to be killed we were like screaming all the time and we were like good thing i have my gun yeah i was like i have guns and knives and rpgs and i'm ready to blow up anybody who tries to come into this house it's so stupid but we got a lot of funny footage out of it um

but basically i'm gonna play one of our screams actually because it's actually hilarious um also this story gets very embarrassing on my side not fully embarrassing i do want to say like i did it all in good faith like that's us after hearing like breathing from the apartment on the other side like probably someone inside the door that just fell down the stairs and broke in there so okay i before i make a fool out of myself and say what ended up happening i want to say that i did it all in good faith it's still i would like if if my home was just open all night especially like we don't live in a bad area but we live in a busy area like a lot of randoms because we live in such a middle ground between like two parts of the cities that a lot of people.

And our apartment complex has literally been invaded. Yeah, our apartment complex is just like notorious for like people trying to break in, breaking in, pulling up. Yeah, we're on the corner of like a really busy street, two streets and so i was just like dude even if like they're up there like i i am personally scared to one knock because i don't know if they're up there i don't know if it's a random person up there i don't know if no one's up there i don't want to like fully involve myself and put myself and my friends in danger so i'm just like i need to call someone else to like litigate this situation and like yeah it was just like a weird thing of like do i shut my mouth and close my door and like have good faith that like everybody in the world is good and that if someone walked by and saw this

door open that they wouldn't kill them yeah or do i take that burden off of my shoulder and just be like okay like i would want someone to do this for me like my door was open i would want someone to call help and be like close your door please um and also we had knocked the fuck out we were being loud you heard in that clip we were being so loud so in our head we were like either no one's in there or someone's in there and like needs help needs help or something like we were like there's someone in there just like rummaging through the crib and they're scared shitless yeah and they're like oh someone knows i'm in here like whatever so finally the cops show up the most yeah yeah the most like they were our age we literally called two people our age with like the same education as us but except for some reason they were legally allowed what i think it was is it was a minor

emergency so i think they just sent them on like a little training exhibition because yeah because they were like calling for help and they were like i don't know what to do next like they really didn't know what they were doing but like whatever so i explained the situation to them and like in my head also for more context i as far as thought, no one was supposed to be in the house. We thought that couple was on vacation because I had a big miscommunication with my landlord, which honestly is still on her fucking fault because I described it. I was like, oh, it's the older couple. The two older people who live next to us.

That's who I'm talking about. I was very clear that I was talking about them and she still didn't get the hint, but whatever. It's a miscommunication. it's kind of all my fault but it's also her fucking fault because she's a landlord and she could have just pulled up and locked the door yeah that would have solved everything she i because i asked her i was like do you have an extra key she was like yeah but can you just close it and i'll lock it in the morning and i was like no no also we tried to wiggle the the handle shut and it wouldn't close because our house

is really old and all the handles like you really have to wiggle to get closed um so i was like and i'm not doing that because if someone's in there and like thinks i'm a fucking intruder and kills me then you away with the shotgun then what the fuck do i do basically then how are we going to record the podcast i'm like you don't understand i have a podcast tomorrow like get your ass over here figure this out come on also not me saying the name of my landlord we have to leave that out um basically the cops ask i explain and they're like all right well we're gonna go we're gonna go up you're gonna hear us yell that it's like the police um and if you're rummaging it's us and we're like okay so we're all like being nosy as fuck and standing next to the wall which is extremely dangerous because our wall we share a wall with this apartment and god forbid

the cops shot someone and shot our head with a bullet yeah our wall so that wasn't smart on us but we were all being nosy and we were all like listening through the wall and we hear that someone's in the house and like we're like yes like we're like oh my god we just we just like stop we just saved the world we stopped the home invasion and then we keep listening and we're like they just said our landlord's name you're like the person who's who just broke into that house knows the name of the landlord that's odd and we keep listening and then i'm like we hear two voices yeah it's a man and a woman and i'm like oh they're kind of voice and like they don't our neighbors don't speak english so i was like it doesn't sound like their english is coming out too i'm like oh i'm staying there

and i'm like i think i just called i think i just ordered a breaking and entering by the police on my neighbor basically what ended up happening is i had a miscommunication with the landlord which again this is her fault because she just pulled up with the goddamn key and closed the door like it was her job to do i wouldn't have to get involved so heavily but she thought i was talking about a different neighbor who was on vacation and this older couple was not on vacation they were home and they just left their front door open and went to sleep with it open and we just called the cops on our neighbors who were just peacefully sleeping in their bed and now they have extreme ptsd and like they were petrified like they were talking

about it this morning still for like two hours while I was awake. Just rightfully so, dude. I felt so bad. I felt like a fucking idiot. But again, in my head, I was like, dude, their door. Drew even got it on video, which we won't show because I don't want to like show our neighbor's door. But like their door was wide open and our shit is lit up. Like if you were walking by, you could easily see that.

So I don't have any regrets in the fact that like i am like such a i'm just an empath and like i like think about people like that and i like i didn't want anything see that's your problem like you like emotions yeah and i'm hold of you and you need to like take care of that i know i need to like take care of myself and like be a little more selfish but i just can't help it because like other people you feel for other people i'm a social i'm like what's called a sociopath. Oh, what's that? Like,

I don't care about anybody's feelings at all. And like, I don't even match because like I do all the caring and you do all the like, yeah. And I don't even think I have emotions. So that's good. Like, I wish I had that.

And like, I like, cause I know, but like, actually I have, like, I have such a deep, deep,

deep care for people that like, sometimes it hurts me, but like, I just like love the idea that I'm like better than a lot of people. Oh yeah. Like, deep deep deep care for people that like sometimes it hurts me but like I just like love the idea that I'm like better than a lot of people oh yeah like I will always care for other people oh see I'm like different because like I want to see people you know that's bad so you shouldn't keep repeating it and I want people to die um but yeah that's how I made a fucking fool of myself I'm a goddamn disgrace and a mockery and i was so fucking embarrassed but life is good life is good that's the episode i'm so fucking sweaty we need to get an ac situation figured out but it'll be so loud

with all the mics what we should do is blast the ac in here before we film so we have at least 10-15 minutes of like cool air true true fill up the windows okay and yeah so that that concludes oh shit we're gonna say our favorite media but yeah that concludes our um our cursed fucking scary terrifying home that everyone's probably like why do y'all still live there like y'all have like i personally like this apartment y'all have like terrible experiences there like like literally y'all are in danger there like what's what's keeping y'all there home is home home is where the heart is and my heart is here baby home is where you piss the bed so you'd be pissing the bed here yeah i have a purple mattress oh yeah so it just gets into like it's like an ice cube trick exactly exactly but it's like warm stick a straw in there yeah it's like really

really good okay shut the fuck up let's get into media and then y'all can go on your merry fucking way and have a good rest of your day and think about how traumatic our life is and how you should care about us the way i care about other people because I am an empath. And I'm a sociopath. All right. I go first, you fucking bitch. Go ahead. So I'll give a few of my favorite songs.

I don't have like a favorite album, but I have a few favorite songs. Oh! I have Hey, Get Out of My Way by the Cardigans. Lumberjack by Tyler, the Creator. Oh, I was going to say that one. I was just about to say, actually, by the time this comes out, like the album would have been out for like three weeks. So people are going to be like, damn, bitch, you're fake.

Like you like that's your favorite song off the album is the single. I haven't heard the album yet. Yeah. So the single is my favorite. And then Smoking Gun by Magnolia shorty and then blouse by clero and those are my four songs she's been blasting blouse by clero yeah she loves that song it makes me feel sweet and sexy and i love her i'm gonna do a movie in a couple songs i think yeah i don't have a movie bitch oh actually the birdcage that's my oh yeah you've been talking about that I still need to watch that um happy pride my movie is the parent trap

watch it re-watch it um it is master class cinema it doesn't really get better than that and like you actually lose Lindsay Lohan in her roles and she's playing very very complex positions or um characters and like not enough people like talk about like how good she actually acted as like a child in that movie and yeah y'all should just watch it and watch it with like a very critical lens and like have fun watch it and then make um an eight paragraph description on litter box no you know what song i'm gonna say west coast by lana del rey oh wow listen to that fucking song again and that you know what song i was thinking of the other day was like be who you are what be proud like an american and also always returning by brian inu listen to that listen to west coast by london del rey have some fun while watching the parent trap and live your fucking life and read the body keeps the

score i'm only two chapters in but literally when you were talking about ptsd and i said all that like crazy dumb shit like that's not from my brain i learned that from that book oh but that is from your brain because you learn it from a book okay that was this episode of emergency intercom thank you for listening to emergency intercom um be back next week we'll be here and And maybe more queer. Okay, bye. Outro Music