Emergency Intercom - Our Last Episode

Episode Date: May 6, 2022

This is our last episode, Enya moved to New York and is moving on. Enya is paying Devon Lee Carlson to take her place while she pursues her own podcast in New York, and tries to cancel Ky and Drew. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. so i'm like actually really fucking pissed off right now and like i know this is a terrible way to like intro the episode or whatever but inya has not turned on her mic for the last 15 minutes or her camera for the last 15 minutes and it's like actually starting to like

piss me off so I'm just gonna uh welcome to this episode of emergency intercom like I can't oh I guess and yes I'm so sorry welcome to the podcast you guys today sorry guess and yes mic is on um wait sorry i'm late you literally actually are not in you like you're devon um devon why are you here do you not see the name no i i see the name and i see the room are you in my fucking house? Yeah, because it's Enya. Oh, my God. Well, that's literally so strange. We just start the podcast. No, because we're not going to start the podcast because you're not Enya.

How did you get in here? What is this? I don't. I'm a little confused why you think it's not Enya. I mean, you are literally like, I don't know why you're going down to that level of like comparing yourself to Enya Devon because like you're gorgeous. You're beautiful. You have your skin is glowing.

Enya is constantly dehydrated and her skin is literally cracking like it has like fissures in it and it's crazy. And like, you're just perfect in every way. and I don't know why you compare yourself to her I'm Enya Enya is perfect Enya does have perfect skin I am Enya Enya is like so perfect and funny and amazing and I'm just like how could I not be Enya does Enya have a gun to your head Devin? Do you actually need help because I can call the cops? No I this is Enya this is Enya I'm in my room I'm sorry I'm late you're deflecting but she's gonna kill you is she gonna kill you if you say no? No it's me it's me. Okay if if you're in you, let me play with your boobs. And you let's be play with her boobs all the time.

Let me just squeeze your knockers. I'll come in there. Oh. Devin. No, I'm not doing that. No. Devin, let me play with your boobs come on i'm literally i'm done devon let me play with you oh

um that was actually really weird i don't don't know where any is what the fuck um okay well i guess we can just get into this episode it's the true cast now hey the truth is literally spreading tap in the truth is oh what the fuck was that what was that what are you talking about what was that like you forced devon to come on to the oh i forced her i forced her I'm so sure like yeah I've oh I'm forcing people to do things what are you talking I've been here the whole time that was not you

the background's different the skin it's different the allure the luster the mystery is different Devin has all of these qualities that you just don't have like I don't know why you're trying to compare where you do not compete actually I think you would find that a lot of people say me and Devin are really alike I actually think not a single person has ever said that once literally no literally you've been lying to me this whole time so how are there two of y'all on the screen explain explain that it's so funny i mean you guys love myself literally is she trying to kill you devon i don't think i was supposed to come back in yet like i got back in because i was like oh are they done i'm gonna leave so no it was we finished and then you came in perfect it like and then

devon coming back in was perfect fucking timing so I'm gonna go so thank you so much you lied to me and we need to get to the bottom of this no no it's okay Devin thank you so much I love you my twin my twin flame I love you sis yeah people say that sometimes when me Sydneydney and devin are out people think like sydney isn't a sister like i'm devin's sister that's what people say all the time they're like oh are you sure you're all three related because i thought it was just devin and then yeah that's what usually i've never said that yeah i don't know why you're stooping down to that level okay it was so nice meeting you drew we literally

i swam in your pool um that was weird that was such a weird start to that yeah why were there two of you if if it was just you explain that it was just me no devon popped in and it was devon saying she was you and i'm actually worried about her safety because i haven't heard from her since she left and i'm scared you killed her to keep her saying oh yeah i killed i killed my twin that's literally my twin that's what i was saying is that like why why is your name devon oh um that's my twin that's my twin like everybody always i get so many comments actually like you guys have to stop commenting that like i get a lot of comments that are like oh my god i thought this was devon like oh my god you look so much like devon right now and like she gets them too

and i'm sure that's like kind of annoying because like just like to like get comments about someone else's name like people mistaking you all the time for someone else like i don't think that's ever happened once no it happens it happens in if there's no paper trail on the internet it happens in real life um so that's that's the the weird thing i asked to play with devin's boobs and she left. That's why she fucking gave up? Yeah. Dude. Oh.

What? So you admit it, that it wasn't you. Okay, fine. Literally, since you want to bully the fuck out of me. Okay, fine. No, here's the truth. Here's the truth. Actually, I found out that I could make a lot more money without this stupid stinky fuck on screen so i have moved to new york i am starting my own podcast the studio is being set up right now i actually vacated a whole building

for it um it's already being set up this mic like see like we don't have these back home it sounds like shit yeah that's what i would say if I was your competition too. So I just thought, okay, like I don't want to kill emergency intercom because like I could still make some money off of that. You see, Drew, you get where I'm coming from. So I thought I could just replace myself with Devin since everybody thinks we look alike and that we act the same and that people, people, I love her so much.

I honestly, people kind of like me more, but that's like, that's it. No, that's people i love her so much i honestly people kind of like me more but that's like that's no that's that's me that's me being like me huh no yeah anyways um i i told her i'd do a wildflower case if she replaced me but she did say that she wouldn't take um that treatment from you like you're trying to like she wouldn't take like you try and have sex with her i just tried to play with her knockers it's devon lee baby you would jump at the chance to if you had the chance to touch devon's boobs you would also would you if you had yes yes Yes, yes.

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Anyway, welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. My name is Enya Yemanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. How come we never say our names i feel like um no we just assume people know who we are and i hate all of the formalities that come with like having a podcast i literally like hey i'm in your you man's and i'm drew phillips and this is our show. Leave it against my back. Hey, I'm Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And this is our podcast where we get a little silly.

Because it is an emergency. We do need to be listened to. What was that? Kai, why is your mic on? I left my mic on shut down talk that's what i'm saying she asked me a question oh oh who's she say my fucking name who is she and yeah yeah yeah can i turn my video on or oh my god you need attention you need attention so bad yeah only for a few seconds off off off off off no off off you guys gave kai too much fucking attention last time and i refuse

i refuse i refuse to give him a platform yeah you guys and you had a call with me and she said that i'm not allowed to be on screen for this episode. And I gave you a limit of 50 words. And guess what? You're reaching that really quick. And you've already spoken more than I have. So you can turn your camera on. I'm so fucking greasy. You say that this is our second Zoom episode.

And that's like the old the first thing you said in the last one it's like you seeing yourself on camera like that i think does something to your brain no it's i've been looking at myself the entire time and it's really unhealthy like i've just been picking my body and face apart it's like fucking crazy zoom is the devil i've said it a million times zoom is the devil like that you're looking me in the eye zoom is the devil I've said it a million times zoom is the devil like that you're looking me in the eye zoom is the devil like looking imagine we did the whole episode like looking in the camera so yeah so my week's been awesome um super excited for the summer isn't that like an odd feeling like I've always never been able to look at the lens when I i'm filming like a youtube video or something like i can't do it it like freaks me out

it's like i'm staring into oblivion it's like my eyes almost turn off and they go into robot mode and i'm just staring at this spot but i'm creating this like universe in my mind i don't know how to explain it very um like uh i almost said predatorial it's like are you calling me a predator no but you know like it's like very animalistic it's like i just got my eye on one thing and i'm like it's like a better word yeah but except it's like the opposite of primal looking into a fucking camera lens and talking humans have gone too far that's what i'm saying we literally i'm not kidding i keep every episode since kotel i've mentioned it but like i it's genuinely sent me on like the gnarliest spiral of like i just look around and i think wow we are not meant to do this

and just finally reaching my brain she's she's seeing the world the way i do now and now she she understands me just a little bit more and i still don't i i still don't understand you or believe you that is one thing i will never do is believe drew well that is one thing i got my gap filled was that gum it actually looks so good not you i literally look like a whore if i had these teeth that would be a slut you are a slut no but like i'd be like I'd be, like, a public slut. People would know. People know.

You're very openly a slut. No, you know what I mean. Yeah. You'd be for the, like, the people via, like, IG. Like, look how hot I look with, like, closed teeth. You look hella sexy. You look so scary. You actually look like someone I just got on a zoom meeting with for like a contract to go over

oh are you are you twitching are you oh also everybody here's my update so as you can tell i'm not in la right now as you can tell from the uh the wall behind me, I'm sure. Like, it's super easy to tell. I have something. I have something else I need to show them. I didn't finish saying what I was saying. Go for it.

Oh, you have to enable screen sharing. For you? Yes. And why should I do that you should beg me oh my god i'm gonna actually kill myself and blow up this fucking oh shit i will literally drop a nuke on new york city i don't give a fuck i'll i'll eradicate 300 000 people literally every single marvel movie be like every marvel movie literally um i think it should work now okay definitely started shit oh my god wait sorry that was the wrong thing

okay here we go so i'm gonna draw penis to body ratio for me we can't do this we have to blur that we'll blur and the people can use their imagination you only have one ball sack yes ew drew sack yeah ew Drew so you get the image right yeah

this is this is like physically accurate you're sure this is exactly what it looks like I just don't understand it's like you're sitting right now and I don't see any sight of your mummer Well it's because I do good at hiding But okay that's like all I wanted to do really Do you like roll it up

And like Put it away Oh okay yeah I was going to say you have to have like a compartment I hide it up there I hide it up there I mean I guess that is why God gave men butts So they can put their own hide the winner away true i have a similarly sized penis so i know like why like every time you

speak you lie it's a new lie that wasn't a lie that was true um but what i was saying is um i'm in new york right now oh my god you guys are like obsessed with each other's member like what is that about little dinky um so i went to miami to go visit my abuela and then i what you can you say that word abulita yeah um so i i also learned her name this is a fun fact about me i did not know my grandma's name or her age and I learned both of those things finally I thought it was about time I was telling my mom that and she was like um what like she she couldn't believe it she was like she's like how does she not know her grandma's name and then she was like wait I don't think I know my grandma's

name and I was like yeah it's like and I was like I think it's kind of a normal thing maybe but I know my all my grandma's names I didn't because like she was always just like abuela so I was just never like I was never saying her name um but so I went to go see her and then I was like well I'm here I might as well go to New York and you would think oh my god what is any doing in Nework she's probably running around every day like saying up late going to part parties um just like having the time of her life um what i did do i haven't done a lot of that but what i have done is when i left la my send me a video are you playing with yourself send me a video of that sound on and off or like i could i could connect my airpods and put the airpod right next to the action yeah okay that's all damn i'm hungry my belly just growled

did y'all hear that or no i think you're horny not hungry you've you've said the wrong word my belly literally just growled it was kind of cute your belly i love a good belly growl that's like so cute if you think about it it's like yeah you're hungry little guy we'll get you we'll get you some food soon it's cute but sometimes it just sounds like a fart like i've had a couple that someone was like did you just fart and i was like i swear to god every time someone has a belly growl around me i'll call it out i'll be like kai are you hungry i don't know you're a hungry guy also if it's like quiet in the car for three seconds, you'll be like, the energy just shifted and it's bad now.

And it makes it a lot worse, honestly. I don't say the energy shifted, it's bad. I just say the energy has shifted. Kai, are you okay? You do say it's bad sometimes. I think it says it's bad sometimes. I've literally never said it. Why are we putting this on me?

I said it was bad when you came into my house and started fucking bullying me on the couch in my own house. I wasn't bullying you. Oh, beef, beef. The girls are fighting. I was like, it's bad now. It's funny how I leave LA for like a week and y'all are fighting. That's how you know you need a woman.

The thing is we're not fighting. This is Drew's like delusional perspective. We weren't fighting at all. He's fighting with himself. He's fighting his own demons. i wasn't even at the apartment he was just talking to a voice in his head i just didn't know the lyrics after that dude you look like nothing but like a head like you need to sit up no because if i sit up i like get out of front see you're holding yourself up you're not that tall oh basically i need to finish my thought i went from a level 30 to what is it i think i'm like 68 no but now i'm like 69 because i kept playing when i got

off with you last night so i see i have control this is fortnite by the way um i have control and when we got a win i was like i'm gonna end on a win baby and i ended on a win and i slayed that game how many kills did you have in you i only had four no i think i had five in the game we won oh my god no i don't think i had any kills you had one but the game before that you had like eight kills but yeah just you know what the thing is with trios it's like it usually is one person is like slaying the house and then the other ones are just kind of like assisting because i had a lot of assists but i didn't have a lot of kills the one we got third in when i had that jet pack i was slaying out i was on track to have like 15 or 16 kills fortnight is so good it's fucked up i got reached out by a company almost immediately

for my fortnight usage wait what do you mean like a company reached out with like um like a brand deal and they mentioned they were like we know you like games we know we know you're a big fan of fortnite and that was like kind of their opening line and i was like oh my god um that's top tier secret kai you have to believe this he said test you text me it is it the same one that reached out to me? Oh, maybe. No, I don't think so. It was... It's a shoe company.

Why would a shoe company mention Fortnite? Because they're doing like a gaming thing. I don't know. But I like their boots. I was about to say their boots lay. Yeah, their boots do serve boots. Kai liked that. That got Kai laughing.

That got Kai giggling. Kai can't do that. Yeah, I can. I can grow out a very thick masculine beard i have a photo of kai with a beard too i have a photo of when we first met like within maybe 10 minutes of us meeting you're that's weird you're on your weird shit you meet someone to take a picture with them 10 minutes later no that's i didn't ask somebody like came up and took a photo of us i forget who it was but yeah i'm also not weird it was us on the balcony of the chateau yeah yeah any of the chateau story like of us with the guy of the company like really high up at the company that we shouldn't name where he's at and we climbed all the billboards have we talked about that because i don't think we never did have we said that on

the podcast yeah i feel like you've alluded you've alluded to it but i don't know if you ever told the story okay well i literally want to tell the story because i don't think we've talked about it and i've always been like forgetting to say it um but like basically there's this hotel in LA called the Chateau we've mentioned it 3,000 times um and like it was like a good night we were partying our asses off we were climbing billboards and shit um and then we went to like one of these bungalow rooms that like was connected like there was a stairway that connected to the roof. And then right above that roof was a billboard. And so me and you, and it was Christian, right? Yeah, it was.

Me and you and Christian climbed this billboard and we're just up there like goofing off because we love getting on billboards. Don't do it it's really dangerous and honestly i'm surprised we survived that because do you remember how rotted out the wood was india dude yes it was like crumbling beneath us it was crazy i was like we're gonna die up here well randomly this dude i think i've told this before we've told this before because randomly this dude um or maybe we said it in a youtube video or something uh but this dude like an older

gentleman like i'm gonna say like 50 something maybe 60 something who works for like one like the biggest company in the world i think he has the biggest market cap in the world and like he's like really like lead designer at this company um am i mistaken no he he literally he was like holding credit to making like something almost every american uses like every day yeah it's like the craziest shit ever um well his old ass was like i want to feel young again and like there's like i'm gonna get i can get rowdy with the kids i can get ready with the kids so he after smoking hella weed drinking a lot of alcohol um climbed up on the billboard with us and like we were just goofing off up there well um we're like scared we're gonna get kicked out so we like get off so we like climb down the

billboard we get on also he he helped me get down or am i tripping or was it someone else no it was him no it was someone else i think it was uh greg i think okay that's what i was gonna say i was gonna say it was someone who was really tall so it might have been greg i think greg helped me get down because i was like i'm gonna break my ankles yeah exactly so we get down it's like i'm not joking it's like what a nine or ten foot drop from up there like it's it's pretty high up no this the greg is literally like what it's like six foot like he's tall as fuck and even him still i had to like kind of like jump yeah like from up here and like help her down well we're getting off and the the gentleman thinks he can do it by himself and he like goes to like get off and he like climbs down a little bit and you know

when you're like a kid you're like hanging on to the edge or something and his feet were like curling up under so billboard right here hands right here his body was like curling up underneath the thing and he was just gonna like drop down well he lost his grip and fell 10 feet directly onto his back onto a stucco roof like one of those like like classic like shingle roof yeah like the the red like um like glass clay shit yeah like uh and he he fell and like broke like 20 of those tiles like crazy it was like this it basically made that sound um but he like all i heard was a scream i thought it peaked but did it not peak it like kind of did but it

zoom tried to make it quiet it sounded like you actually got attacked like anybody who's just listening to the audio it sounded like mid-conversation someone came in the room and like pushed you off your own balcony it sounded like big conversations someone came in the room and like pushed you off your own balcony it sounded like a stock like a stock sound for a man getting attacked oh oh i scratched my headphone with this and it was really loud um but anyways he uh fell like was groaning on the ground like moaning like and like everyone was like oh my fucking god and then he lifted i'm not kidding i didn't see him again after that no i never saw him again i'd like i went in there and he sat sitting on the couch like with a blunt and a beer in his hand and he was like

trying to cool guy and i just felt like really just so bad for that man like dude because it was like him like 50 late 50s early 60s something like old ass man hanging out with a crowd of like the cool kids of la not calling myself the cool kids it was just the cool kids of la and me and india there like it was yeah it was a very interesting crowd and I would have been like really embarrassed had that happened to me. I would have passed away. No, I, that ass would have rolled off the roof and fell, fallen another 13, 30 feet into the concrete headfirst. No, I would have climbed back onto the billboard and run.

Cause it goes over the street and just jumped onto a car. Exactly. Just run me over. But yeah, iconic. are exactly just run me over but yeah iconic also you you you just did something that sometimes you do like oh when you scratched your headphone and made that noise you do this thing sometimes where you like have like a visceral reaction to something and like it's not that you're embarrassed but like you try to like explain it before it looks too. And all I could think about was in the episode of Field Trip where you almost fall out of the trailer. That would have not been show.

I'm going to give you all a little tour of our setup where we'll be sleeping tonight. So, yeah, actually, I'm just going to walk in through the front door. Oh, my God. imagine i just fell out that would have not been chill but anyways okay it's like we were in this trailer dude that was literally the funniest it just doesn't it does not read it doesn't translate i i think it was just like genuinely one of those moments where you had to have been there but like i remember no dude it died it still is so funny on video because like drew almost falls out of the trailer and then like tries to like make it funny it's like oh whoa like goes to

fake fall back again and then it's like oh that would have been bad and that had us cracking up and then no i said that would have not been chill and that's what got y'all like the wording of that also you just recreating it like whoa like you did that and then right after the farmer guy like comes to go into the trailer so he scares the fuck out of you immediately after so you just had like boom boom planted that they had to have so good like she did she was definitely like go like go check on them real quick oh for sure do not check on me i am fucked out as i'm gonna be recording um but yeah that was hella funny also i i already posted this on my story but like i was talking about this other day it's like with a group of friends i was just like

oh i like love that i have the like ability to like cry laughing over almost anything like jealous it's very easy for me to like kind of get there for the most part like I don't know I just find like certain things so humorous and they will push me there but one and I was just trying to like think of things that like the last thing that made me cry laughing I don't know if we could insert it but the our neighbors smashing into that gate wait what oh the kids yeah i don't know if we can insert it but because it's just like oh that's like a little like i don't know i'm not about to like put some like literal children on blast those are not my children can't read that you can there's no way you can see their face because they're actually going at month 12 like they're literally going 80 miles per hour it's crazy um but i don't know if i i want us to put it in so i'll just explain it basically and

it's not going to be nearly as funny but next to my window in my room where i do my makeup um we have a neighbor who has a child who's maybe like what like like 10 or 11 like they're super young i think yeah he's just a super young kid um and one day he had all his friends over on like a saturday or a sunday and i was doing my makeup and i just hear them screaming and running and laughing and it's like cute and then drew comes into my room you're literally so cute oh oh kyle you're cute i'm not kidding i like him thank you drew i think you're cute too no i'm not kidding i'm not getting like yeah what is she saying does she know that her mic's on so should i just know who the is she talking to? This bitch is schizophrenic.

Ah! Don't leave me alone! And yeah. Dude, I think she just collapsed. No, I think she's being abducted. sorry i got a call because i'm going to the mat after this by the time this comes out i'll already have gone to the mat um yeah i don't know why else isn't even now. The Met Gala isn't even now. Like, what?

Are you kidding me? Wait, is this going to be out on Mother's Day or by Mother's Day? No, it comes out right before Mother's Day. Okay, I can't say this then. Yeah, don't say that. They need to make MILF stay. They need to make MILF stay. Turn your camera off and your mic. Yeah, turn it off.

Time out. Three minutes. Inya. Yeah. You know how there's Mother's Day? Yeah. They need to make mills day are you kidding no for real i'm sorry that's not fair that's literally my joke i'm sorry who is

that who who got in who got into our zoom oh my god did you leak it's me address i think i accidentally leaked how do you guys not recognize my voice who is this this man is scaring me honestly it's me look i'm back get the fuck out get out get out of here get out of here lock the door motherfucker you look like you need help motherfucker all right you can come back oh wait actually okay so speaking of um mother's day when i was in miami i saw this mom in her like early 40s and she had like a like a cap and gown on so like like this isn't the craziest thing to see like it's pretty like it's funny how you don't believe in women like like pursuing i believe in women anyway i saw a mom in like her early 40s she had like a cap and gown on she was with her three kids

who were like older teenagers and they were out like celebrating i guess her graduation i'm assuming she got like a master's or something because she was like old as bricks oops oh sorry um master degree evasion degree um anyways but it got me thinking because I was like, oh, my God, when my mom was in her early 40s, we did something like that, except we put her in a box and then everybody stood around the box and then we just like never saw her again. But it was kind of similar if you think about it. What are you referencing a funeral? A what? That's like a funeral. And yeah. What is that? What are referencing a funeral? A what? Yeah, that's like a funeral, Enya. What is that?

What are you talking about? I think you're talking about a funeral. No, they put my mom in a box and then everyone stood around the box. People seemed a little upset about the box in the room. Yeah, because she's, Enya, your mother isn't alive anymore. No, it was fun. We brought the espresso machine so i got to have a latte wait did you know your mom's not alive in you my mom was what

no my mom's chilling alive and you know wait they put her in the box to bury her or burn her burn her. Burn her. Yo, I gotta show y'all something. Hold on. Actually, never mind. Don't. Not yet. Not yet?

Not yet. Yeah, your mother and my brother and praying mantis are all just living it up. You forgot about Gumpy. Dying it up. I don't think the bug and my grandpa funny how you're invalidating one of drew's very harsh losses i think if drew had to say okay i'm gonna make an educated guess which was the hardest wait we'll say it on three one two three bug yeah really are you? If I had to choose between my bug being alive and Kai being alive, let's say it on three. Bug. Bug. Really?

You couldn't even wait. Me and Drew are connected in a way that not most people are connected. Probably because of our intimacy in bed. I would straight up kill for both of you guys, okay? I would do whatever it took. Yeah yeah how about yourself oh my god and yeah i think you went too far did he do it did he wait but he went too far

i've got the power did he do it though apologize oh i'm sorry oh i'm sorry kai oh is that good is that enough apology thank you you took that kai that apology was good enough for you you took that it was good drew showing us his call of duty right now and it's lagging hella yeah are you trying to play a round of call of duty while you're doing the podcast oh i didn't even literally know y'all could see that sorry guys are you trying to show us like you get like just right in call of duty should i continue this round or no like you should do your job any pilot jones and laurel dude this is honestly super disrespectful we're like we have to work yeah we yeah yeah i have to work too wait now you're trying to boss us around and say we have to work no i'm saying like i also have to work with alongside you guys working and making the

decision to work also drew it's you fucking suck at this game yeah and it's hella lagging like and you're cheating honestly i've been thinking a lot about this and i just like want to say it if if all of this like fails i'm just gonna um off yourself true jesus oh my god no i was gonna say i'm just gonna like change my career path to being the vibrator to being a vibrator a vibrator no the vibrator like i'm like gonna rate vibes and maybe sometimes um pulse on a woman's uh clitoris if she would allow me so it's yeah it's like a double it's like a double um edge sword because that's a lot of responsibility very manly thing of you to say

oh you're leaving oh a bag of uh garbage no no i recently went camping in utah and i it was a good getaway it was an escape i needed to uh reconnect with earth i needed to rebalance my life a little bit. And while I was out there, we went rock hounding for a lot of minerals. And for the first time in my life, I found some fossils. And I just wanted to show the visual people the fossils. We found trilobites. Whoa, that's cool. And that is actually so cool this is my favorite specimen

because it's a mama with the baby on the top you can't really see it that well we can insert pictures too yeah and then also in my wallet i have a trilobite always with me at all times because i found a really cute little baby one i have oh wait we'll show you what i got in my wallet i got a piece of obsidian um a trilobite a key and an apple air tag that tag er kai gave me but i wish you could see it better oh you can kind of see him there but he's like he's out of his matrix so it's literally just hit the trilobite whoa yeah and then i found a bunch of geodes and we like um damn wait what is the what does the shell look like what is the shell just look like a rock on the outside oh yeah damn so sick it's like this

specific and this is my favorite one hold on let me grab it so you went digging for rocks when you have an iphone yes yeah drew why don't you just play like video games or something yeah or fortnight because like you that's cool but like you need some help motherfucker motherfucker fucker um okay we need to address something the nepotism rumors are going too far um my parents aren't rich and famous girl why are you lying that doesn't need to be public information you guys are like really going in like why can't i just be myself it doesn't matter that my parents like have been hoarding millions through the like ancestral line like it clearly doesn't matter are you really like don't who do you think made we're moving on no stop it why are you doing that okay why are we doing that why are we doing that in his mother

i literally didn't drew didn't your dad make grinder yeah oh didn't he make it for you didn't he make it for you because he was like oh you're not getting any bitches much bitches so he was like let's yes let's invent something where you can i don't know how much grinder would help with getting bitches though really because my friend is literally viral on grinder are you saying that only women can be bitches and men can't be bitches very not feminist of you kai oh shit i didn't even think about it like that i'm so sorry what's funny is kai like wants so badly to be a feminist he even has the glossier hoodie on like he wants he's one of those freaks he is doing a good job at it kai is one of those freaks he knows his big three

he like knows like he knows too much wait what's the big three you don't know what that is true i'm not like these other bitches. You honestly, at first I thought you were like a low life, like slut with no self-respect. But now I think maybe you kind of have a little bit. I actually don't know what that is either. I don't know. Big three, like big five sporting goods.

Like you're talking about a store. He thinks it's a sporting team. And yeah. Yeah. See, I don't know what that is. Because you're such a man yeah because you watch sports and stuff yeah is it rupaul's drag race the top three in rupaul's drag race yeah yeah that is actually what that means

can you hear that what is that um they're working on the studio my podcast studio what my new one i don't believe because i've said i signed for like a really big amount that honestly like y'all knowing that my parents have money and then then knowing that like i get signed for like crazy deals would make like a lot of y'all feel bad so i won't say it give me a number let's just say it's a double digit but the word that comes after those double digits changes a lot that's all i'll say so seven dollars seventeen dollars 80 million 80 million i got signed for 80 million million dollars you Okay. Well, I want to say congratulations on you for getting signed for 80 million. You don't have a job. You're I'm not hiring you. And like, you're like, I know that's what you want. And like, you're not like, I'm

leaving both of you behind because I think it'd just be better for me. You guys are really toxic. Bitch. I don't. Okay. Well, I'm actually fucking, fucking i don't i am not happy that you have that money and i hope that honestly i hope that your fucking studio burns to the ground i would i would literally build a new one that's fucked up because it's in the new world trade center thank god you know we need to do more things like that to make kai just like kind of like like go back into his shell and like enjoy some silence like more silencing you know silencing of the lamps that was maybe honestly of the kai that was like top 50 funniest things I've ever said I think It was very referential But to even like

Make the Like ground that you have Said 50 funny things is like a lot So I think we're going to say top 5 Look at the podcast clips I think Drew said over a million Funny things I'm getting signed for

100 million dollars and you're still not on my team oh okay also i can host oh let's go let's go boys podcast we need more of those yeah we need more white guys um doing like duo podcasts together yeah yes talking about sex and depression dude this is gonna be awesome and all women do is cheat a woman can't sleep with another man and it be considered like women just fall in love too easy it's different like i can sleep with as many women as i want to and it'll still be like this like just it's this primal thing and I can come back and wait wait wait back up back up back up you said sleep with what other women that's are you speaking for other men or I'm'm straight, girl. Oh, okay. It's only cheating.

I have an open relationship, but I'm the only one that's allowed to explore. Because if the girl in the relationship explores, she cheats. It's cheating. But when I do it, it's not cheating. Yeah, I feel that. Like girls are like kind of sluts.

I don't feel that way. Oh my God. For the record, I don't feel that way oh my god for the record i don't feel that way oh i'm so sure i'm so sure yeah i would i would never even use that word you don't feel that way because you like men okay okay oh my god i was so close to turning off my camera but you just decided to face your truth be who you are for your pride don't hide guys sorry to interrupt but I did have an

announcement to make guys what is it he thinks he can interrupt with announcements so it's too far fuck my name is still that how did that happen yes what is it all right he thinks he thinks he can interrupt with announcements now yeah so fuck my name is still that how did that happen it's okay all right so um i am having a procedure done next week it's a brain reduction surgery so i just wanted to tell you guys because i'm really excited about it oh yeah reduction surgery brain reduction apparently it's too big what's the likelihood of um it going wrong and you passing away 99 but you need that no you need that you need that surgery you need to tap into that like

i mean do what's best for you i really trust this guy because he did my um penis reduction surgery so he's super good so he works with penises and brains yeah and he said it was one of the biggest penises he's ever he's ever had to reduce and also he said my brain is the biggest brain he's ever had to reduce um is there a chance that he's never seen another human he is a vet and he works on animals so he works on like small dogs oh okay then that makes a lot of sense oh yeah yo drew check chat are you looking like wait is this chat wait just look at your screen like i think when i put on chat yes we do okay yeah wait we need to drew are you seeing are you seeing my chat it's right here yes what's the chat say um wait one more thing dude yo it's right here do you see it drew my message to you no i've seen all of them oh okay yeah

yours i agree with yours it's cool that zoom has chat in here so we can like talk to each other wait i can't see that al gort opening it yeah it's not showing up for me guys oh no it's a secret chat that it shows up on me and your screen who is al gort it's like al gore but it's al gort it's the first name that comes to my mind every single time i like think of i have to think of a name you don't think of your own name when you think of a name you should have some self-love erica badu or al gore it's like really in my brain it's so fucking weird um also i use the word belligerently correct and i will stand by that i fully use it correctly because belligerent just i don't know if you do i don't think you do and I don't think you do and I

I allow you to say it because I'm done correcting people and I use words wrong all the time but you don't use it right and you do use it four or five times an episode or 10 times a day I think you're belligerently fucking stupid that's what I think I think i belligerently love you and want to hug you see a belligerent just means aggressive like to like isn't it like to do something aggressively i'm a belligerent drunk i'm an aggressive drunk i'm like overtly drunk i'm belligerently sexy aren't ready for you yeah that's all and aggressive a bull-necked belligerent old man yeah i'm belligerently horny is it right no i am belligerently horny it's true like it works i think it works in that context for sure your kai is belligerently annoying like sometimes when he speaks like i get a belligerent headache

drew is belligerently smelly sometimes when i'm around him i know his hair is like belligerently recoil back up into my nose like it works it works yeah kai's dick is belligerently big vagina oh shit that's just see that it doesn't work it doesn't sound like it's not rolling off the tongue maybe it's you like you shouldn't use that my god it's like my thing fucking ugly no you're not you're belligerently beautiful you're bb you're so bb okay so i have something to show you guys it's really important and i honestly it was kind of hard for me to do. It took a lot of like, I'm getting a raise. I'm getting a raise. This is so exciting. I'm raising what way I'm right.

No, you're, you're an old man. I can't raise you. You've been raised. What do you like? No, I mean like a, like a financial. You're literally making no sense. So like I was saying. It's actually kind of scaring me too.

Yeah. Like what? You stuttered a lot yeah it's like scary um so this was like came from a very vulnerable place and i hope you guys can just like like understand what the fuck is this so i've just been thinking it's oh true true you got to tie back in drew fuck you oh my god it's just I'm sorry like this is just the way it should be and I have can you please hear me out can you just hear me out

through maybe we should just hear her out like I'm saying like me an equity bitch maybe she's gonna she's gonna buy you out or something yeah maybe most likely not don't put those ideas inside oh so why I think emergency intercom should be

just and yeah also i know everyone's gonna be like this is a beautiful um it looks like it looks like shit yeah i don't think anyone's gonna say that but yeah well we'll just move on um starting off simple drew is ugly and and this me out. It distracts the viewers from Enya, who is super sexy and funny. Sometimes it's hard for viewers to feel good and safe when Drew is on camera. Your skin is cracking. Okay. I would say that if I was...

You need lotion. Yeah. Okay. You can be defensive. You can be defensive all you want. This is a real quote from one of our viewers. Zach Smith is not a real person. That's true that's him he's literally i literally like he's here well for we wanted to keep everyone anonymous because we know drew will attack them so it is an alias name but we just know drew can get a little aggressive scares me i listen and watch for india but sometimes it's

hard yeah i hope i fucking scare you zach smith i'm gonna come to your house and fucking murder you and your family and kill your dog i heavy on the dog i'm gonna rip your dog's fucking neck off why is zach talking about his dick drew is a liar okay this one's true we have been waiting on drew moji for five years yeah um that's true like why is that a bad thing because of the next slide he hired me to develop the app without credit or pay the whole time drew has spoken of drew moji he stutters sweats and even nervously laughs because of the dark truth do you have anything to say like genuinely do you have anything to say about this contacted my drew moji developer i mean i was just seeking the truth and

they made this comment yes and i was just too they'll burn that's your response it's on me yeah they're gonna die soon i just wanted i was excited for the app and i just wanted to know like what was happening and i found fake religion drew has coined the truth as a way of life when really it is the end to normal living the truth is spreading yeah like a disease he has brainwashed millions into joining a cult he speaks often of writing a book with stolen practices to gain from this lie financially i literally don't see a problem in this like the truth is real the truth is spreading and sure i may need to make a little bit of money along the way to survive and to feed my members i love everybody like that's

my thing like i love everyone and everyone means so much to me and like especially like if you're in the truth like like if you practice judaism like you're lit like i love you are you turning my my anti you like powerpoint into an ad for your fake cult? It's not my fault that the truth spreads so easily. That you can try to hit job me. The truth. Okay. Fuck you.

Oh my God. Would you like to read it for the audio listeners? He has ran through one of many Grindr the audio listeners like he has ran through one of many grinder notifications it said he has ran through um keep reading there's more on the screen that people need to know and they need to hear it should just come from you it should come from you because it's the truth hold on i'm not reading that um he has no self-respect he is a slut there is there is anything wrong with sorry yeah yeah but he is a slut and also has sex with kai yeah that's true the last part is true that's but that's the only true part oh of this whole thing oh shit what what what was that

it was like a grinder notification there was like three that just went off how do you know what that is it doesn't matter how I know what that is I used a template I don't know what this is alright I'm done I don't know what that is

be respectful you just fucking dissed me the entire time. The Drew, the Judaism, they're going to get you. And they're going to, I don't understand. I don't understand why him being ran through has anything to do with whether or not he should be on the podcast. And I don't understand why you're not afraid of the Drew because it is coming.

They're going to get you everybody go comment. The truth on India's news you everybody go comment the truth on inya's news instagram post the truth i'm gonna get you removed from that app for bullying and harassment and i'm gonna come in your bed like where you have to like you're gonna go into my bed or like stand over it oh my god um well the thing is like i'm just i one emergency intercom doesn't stand for men who are sluts um i just don't think men should have that kind of free will. I think it's like a bit

disturbing. I think you should be like settling down with one person and building homes and working in the workforce, preferably war.

Huh? in the workforce preferably war labor huh what did you say what did you say okay he's losing it see what happens when the the truth is exposed i think he's sending out like a um a message to his followers to attack yeah i hate how good you are at that drew I read that. Drew? Oh. Yo.

What was that? Like, actually, what was that? What was what? You just, like, said some weird incantations, and then your eyes rolled to the back of your head, now you're back all of a sudden yeah what do you mean yeah that's weird that's very fucking weird behavior the truth they're coming who's them like you three schizophrenic people i wouldn't worry about it one of my authors just just reared its ugly head

stop doing that to your hair when you were talking about being ran through and you're like no because i'm like um i'm hella i'm hella gucci based drew what is your what's your plan for your hair slash beard is it just gonna keep going or no i thought about it and i was like planning to be up there are you okay what happened what happened buddy buh buh

buh buh what are your plans for your hair you didn't even answer Kai your ass my ass I can't say I'll tell you in private but there's there's big things coming oh you have you have like a whole thing planned out for it no legitimately i've told you before

and yeah you're gonna make it a whole thing to to get attention yeah yeah you know that sounds right yeah jr how has the week been without me fucking awesome oh i did some crazy shit i really i can't talk about it on here genuinely you know what we did um it's probably better left unsaid but it was a fucking blast um let's just say i laughed my little butt off is that like a real smile of yours no I had I've been having fun I've been like like as every single time you go away like I just lock myself inside and do nothing for the entirety that you're gone and it's like great like I love being a shut-in and it just reminds me that when i am dolo i will never leave my house it's crazy but it's yeah we got to try this thing that we've been wanting to do where i put drew on my dick and then i spin him around like a top and then we fly away yeah it's called

dreidling i don't think you needed to say that like that's probably something that could have been kept like kept um to yourselves okay you need to keep yeah well yeah my week's been good i've just been shut in vibes i uh uh have been eating like i don't know what else i've been like literally i've been constipated so without me you're like life like is the quality goes down awesome i'm no like it's i you know i hate socializing and now i don't have this like overlooming thing of like socializing FOMO because I don't have to go out simply. Because you don't have anyone near you going into having the time of their life. Exactly. How's your week been?

Pretty good. I'm not kidding. Like all I've done really like is play Fortnite. Like I've like gone out and like done my little thing. But like I look at my phone and I have no photos of like my past week because all i do is play fortnight and honestly part of me is like that's fucked up because i came to the east coast to stay up late play fortnight and then wake up late but you know sometimes the simple things in life is what it's worth life is it's what life is worth sometimes that's the truth that's the truth babe that's the truth i've always i've always said that that's like literally my

quote so drew i don't know if that's your quote like i just said i think that i think that is true also still no fap by the way oh nice so drew you were constipated and then and yeah you just played fortnight yeah um that's cool i started a non-profit and um yeah so that's just like what i've been doing you're claiming you started a charity yeah i'm working on uh fixing war i'm getting rid of it so you started a non-profit for neo-nazis no i didn't i'm jewish why would i do that i don't know i mean that's just something that you said i'm not doing that do you have proof that you're not doing that i don't have proof that i'm not doing that but i'm also oh that does not look good that really doesn't look good on you like i'm gonna be honest

Drew you caught his ass you should be a lawyer Drew you should literally be a lawyer you shouldn't be a lawyer there's nothing that Drew did that proves that you should be a lawyer he just like made up a lie about me that's not what lawyers do that's a simulated court case yeah Drew get his ass

okay bitch I'm gonna rip your headphones out no no drew i'll be the judge okay drew get his ass you skinny bitch i'm gonna that's not what a lawyer does kai it's not your turn to speak keep going drew black i call blasphemy in the court from kai yep that's not a term that people use in a court but all right kai you're sentenced to time out in the corner because you keep talking while drew is defending his case all right court adjourned lunchtime objection he just made fun of my he just body shamed me and then it has nothing to do with the case so drew eat his ass up email i mean he is fuck oh fuck i'm gonna eat him out all right

eat his ass up or eat get him get him destroy destroy what is it destroy let's destroy him let's destroy him that's literally us before every single episode with Kai let's destroy him yeah that's honestly it if you guys felt like I talked too much this episode

that's because she's going through a lot yeah i'm crying right now so i'm just i can't cry the thing is no one said i looked good today you look beautiful don't i know you look beautiful today kai true when i get home you're getting the biggest spanking i've ever given you yeah i know yeah i'm gonna put you over my lap bend me over oh yeah um okay holy shit we've got like fuck like crazy people for 20 minutes um okay my media is murder man by young manny um birth of rap by little b um and oblivion by grimes and then i've been kind of going crazy

on this like new style of music i don't know what it's called yet um but k strueno k-a-y-s-t-r-u-e-n-o makes some really cool music and that's kind of like the gist gist of the sub sub genre it's like rap but like super blown out it's like kind of cloud rap but like blown the fuck out um and i've been really enjoying it and then um i've been watching this show called disenchantment the animated show that oh that the futurama dude did futurama matt goring um and i tried watching it like four years ago when it first came out um but i fucking hated it i could not get into it it literally just like wasn't good to me and now that i've like settled into my like millennial a little bit it's like funny um and i love it wait are we gonna be considered millennials no no we're like considered gen z

um but we're like also considered millennial we're like literally like right on the cusp. It's crazy. Like we can kind of claim either one. I'm Gen Z rising millennial cusp. Gen Z rising millennial cusp. My boomer is in moon. I'm a medium, by the way. I see ghosts. Oh, I thought you meant like your member was a size medium no no i'm saying i'm a medium i see ghosts that's new did that develop in the past week yes on patreon we should do a

a ouija board video. I'm done. Yeah, Ouija board episode. We have one. Maybe we speak to your Gampy and my mama. They will be playing sport game and my bug and my brother. They'll be playing with each other in a way that we shouldn't talk about. Wait, Annie, I think you have to do your media

because it's about to cancel the Zoom. Yeah, I'm about to cancel you. You're canceled. Yeah, you're canceled. Please don't cancel me. I mean, I just did have to do your media because it's about to cancel the Zoom. Yeah, I'm about to cancel you. You're canceled. Yeah, you're canceled. Please don't cancel me. Yeah. I mean, I just did it. It's too late. Okay.

My media of the week is anything by Adrienne Lenker. Adrienne Lenker? I don't know how to say her name. That whole album, Songs, is really good. I'm just like really into the like sad sleigh at the moment um also honey by marine girls i'm still listening to a lot of baby father bubble that song and then curve and light mid-air thief classic and wandering star for I said those are the songs I'll give you guys um and honestly you should be grateful and then the only video yeah I watched is I watched the Abercrombie and Fitch

documentary and Drew you should watch that because it's actually true you look uh are you frozen I think I think you froze for a second, but we could hear everything. Oh, Drew looked really scary. He was like this. I was staring into the camera for the entire time on purpose. Oh, I thought you like genuinely were tapped out and staring like that. And I got so scared. Is it about like being bad people and like all their

really gnarly shirts that they made and shit yes it like touches on that it touches on like yeah it just touches on how gnarly abercrombie and fitch really was it's like it's actually genuinely crazy that um brandy melville's low-key just doing the same thing and like no one really cares that much yeah i mean because also what's crazy is like i don't know of any civil lawsuits against brandy melville but like abercrombie bitch fully experienced like civil lawsuits completely 180 and like their wardrobe is like um for men at least it's like literally the most like work wear bullshit i've ever seen but i mean it's like perfect but yeah someone else words the company that still fully exists which is crazy

all right well i'm gonna go play fortnite thank you guys so much for tapping in tap tap tap that subscribe button and tap, tap, tap that review button and give us five stars. Why weren't we invited to... The Met Gala. Charlie D'Amelio's birthday. Because I think we scare her.

Like, we literally... I think we might scare her. She used our audio. The MLB used that audio, too. Your Honor, I'm slaying. Really? Yeah, the MLB. Major League Basketball or Baseball? Baseball. the mlb use that audio too your honor i'm slaying really yeah the mlb major league basketball or baseball baseball same difference but um okay well we have a minute 41 left so because i am not paying for zoom zoom is the devil i know zoom is insane for thinking people are going to pay for

this like why do you want to talk to somebody for more than 40 minutes yeah it's like in all of these meetings can be done in an email i know i've never gotten a zoom and been like i'm so glad we got on the zoom it could have been done via three texts yeah even this honestly like i feel like this was like actually a waste of my time it could have been done in two packs bye Outro Music