Emergency Intercom - Our life is a movie

Episode Date: July 5, 2024

We opened two gifts this morning (our eyes). Yup that’s right this weeks episode is all about being grateful. Start growing your business today. Sign up for a $1-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/intercom. https://www.patreon.com/emergencyintercom join the Patreon for bonus episodes, q&a/topic submissions, livestreams, pay for ky's lobotomy instagram: @emergencyintercom @emergencyintercomclips tiktok: @emergencyintercompod Produced By TMG Studios, Enya Umanzor, and Drew Phillips Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Offer ends March 3rd, 2025. Terms and conditions apply. invest with RBC. Offer ends March 3rd, 2025. Terms and conditions apply. Invest with RBC today. Hi, guys. Welcome back. hi guys welcome back we're almost there almost there hi uh this is true and i'm crazy and i'm in yet and i am so crazy too and you're not as crazy as me everything is crazy we are so crazy everything is crazy we are so crazy look at me and i'm so crazy because you think you're the crazy girl but i'm the craziest girl because you're not as crazy as me i'm the crazy person i'm the crazy person hey i'm the lazy person as you can see we are still in new york we are back in the stray rats office using their space for free as we should be. Let me just tell y'all something.

I just got a sneak preview. Of the next like drop? I think so, is that true? Is that true? Yeah, it is. And that shit goes fucking hard. It goes so fucking crazy cause I'm so fucking crazy

who the fuck is the baba duke i already said that in the last episode or in one of the episodes we filmed but seriously like where does actually that was my problems i didn't look up where the baba duke came from but like that was cracking me up in bed the other day the baba duke is like i feel like i'm so late i never saw the movie it's the greatest name of all time for any character it's literally booby alla like bagabilla shout out booby alla if y'all know anything about booby alla it's that it's my dream vacation spot with orion one day we'll end up there but it's a port city in australia so it's like a concrete jungle similar to new york without all the buildings and fun it's really just a shipping yard but i really want to visit booby yalla because that

name is so fucking funny bro the babadook only like was originated in the early 2000s to me the babadook has a name that rings back like to the 1700s like old saint nick like yeah like to me the name babadook is like when humans first realized they could make up words and they were just kind of going crazy and going just making sounds like that's what brings me out about like so many words is genuinely how did we get there like and i know i could look it up i'm sure there is a very in-depth demonstration of how like words just started happening but imagine the first human to hear their fucking voice. Were they just silent?

I don't know. It freaks me out. You should take a page out of their book before language is invented. And be silent? Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Finally.

I haven't had a moment of silence in years. The old ball and chain is always in years the old ball and chain is always talking and the old ball and chain fuck what was i gonna say uh it was piggybacking off of baba duke and boobie oh my halloween costume y'all i really need help i really really need help do you want to say what okay also this is july i know well i've been thinking about it since january y'all like it's really important to me that i have like an advanced costume what's crazy is it's not like it'd be one thing if you were like stassi baby and like those like girls who really go in for their outfits like they

commit and they like go in and they get like a full custom beat and like fit and everything but you just throw you the fuck down you order something on amazon like a week before yeah i'm eating disorder off amazon no y'all it's really important to me i've just set the bar so high several times i basically invented outfits um for people to do and they copy me now which i am fully fully down for i'm like yes i guess gay little monkey and the pain eating grandpa yeah a pain eating grandpa is pretty huge harry styles was a good one yeah damn you have had bangers they're all bangers and i'm having a fucking conniption fit thinking about my next one well the problem is if somebody recommends an outfit

like an hallow Halloween outfit to you, you're going to be like upset that you're taking somebody else. Like you're such a brat. They're going to like give me. Yeah, well, it's a brat summer, duh. We got intel the remix album is coming soon. I'm lying. I don't actually know if that's true.

Yeah, the remix album is coming soon and we're going to be on it. For real this time. No, but it's very important to me so should we tell them my ideas or if i tell them it won't be a surprise anymore the thing is one of your ideas you cannot do like one the i'm so crazy oh the bag of chips on the head y'all see that's a banger like gluing a bag of chips to a headband and walking around like i'm that girl in the grocery store like i got a bag of chips i can't take her anywhere she's so crazy isn't it like she took the picture of herself she put the bag of chips on her head and she was like

you can't take me anywhere i think that's what there's something about you you're something like you can't take me anywhere it's like you're not that crazy like you're not that crazy. Like you're just not that crazy. She's crazy. I'm going to look up. Bag of chips on girl's head. Crazy.

She's so crazy. Love her. Okay, wait. Oh, so her friend did post it. You know what I'm thinking of? I'm thinking of like the girl who's doing the regular selfie and then she's like like sticking her tongue out like making a funny face i don't know what i'm talking about where she's like it's like her like smiling normal and she's like do you know what i'm talking about i vaguely remember but that just reminded me of

a stabbing today a stabbing today dude there arebing today. Dude, there are so many beautiful moments that the internet has given us. It's actually unbelievable. Also, we really need to stop quoting random memes and stuff. Oh my God, with Devin last night. Bro, last night we were at dinner with Devin after the Marc Jacobs thing. It's just so small that I forget

that like we do it like is that weird to say like I just just so regular. No like our life is a movie like our life is actually a movie. It's a movie but it's regular for us now. Yeah we've gotten so used to it. It's basically a documentary at this point like it just gets boring by the end.

You feel like you're already it's like a docu-series where you're like okay I watched three episodes I kind of know what's happening yeah exactly exactly and you already had it leaked three years prior because the story already happened whatever um but we were at dinner with devin um and me and inya like in unison both go saturday saturday because we were like what day did you get here and she was like the 29th and i was like oh that was saturday and me and drew go saturday saturday for saturday but she the thing is she said it back so she's like oh saturday for saturday and then come to find out i thought she'd seen the video and i was like oh my god this is like a once in a lifetime thing where we quote something really stupid to somebody and they know what we're talking about and then we were

like oh my god you've seen the video and she was like what video and we showed it to her and come to find out that her sister sydney and their friend drew they have a friend drew too yeah because it's like everybody a lit thing everybody needs a drew in their life um they quote it to her all the time but they've never showed her in the video do you mean everybody needs a drew in their life no um i was just saying that because like i don't know i like had to fill up this the rest of that sentence usually when i say something nice it's because i had to fill up a sentence it's not coming from my heart it's not genuine no i'm actually very complimentative and i mean it because i'm a bad liar so if i meet you and i don't give you a compliment that's a bad sign yikes that's

also a lie because i don't want i don't want anybody to meet me and then i'm not like you're beautiful and they walk away and they're like she thought i was ugly no i'm not even just joking when i say this every single person that's ever come up to us to say what's up at like whether they knew us from online or like whatever like has been gorgina grande yeah like and i'm not just saying that for like brownie points like genuinely believe that with my whole chest we only attract pretty it's kind of crazy but it makes sense attractive attracts attractive yeah it's like we're mirroring hey that was all attractive attractiveness no no attractive attracts track fuck attractive

attracts attractive okay okay but if fucking edgar allen poe or whoever the fuck said that it would be on every fucking poster in the world somebody the other day who was it i think it was like somebody was like oh like edgar allen poe wrote it like you know like shakespeare or something and like they were saying that edgar allen poe was something that shakespeare wrote and for the first time i was like damn i'm really not that dumb because you just said the craziest thing i've ever heard edgar allen poe more like edward allen poe ho fuck edgar allen poe more like edgar allen poe well we need to talk about the epidemic of like staying up on the phone all night with like your first like crush or like person who you like when you're younger like did you ever do that no it's cute but it's so

embarrassing like girl hang up that fucking phone that's just gonna explode next to your head your bill is crazy like electricity you're wasting for what just to be on the phone also i feel like always i would wake up and the phone would call would be done like somebody would always wake up before me and then hang up the fucking phone i never had to do i never had that i've never had that that tracks like the fuck do you mean by i just i don't know i can't imagine anybody like meeting you and be like oh i'm gonna stay on the phone with him all night i got hoes okay i actually i do believe you i got hoes stay up on the phone all night hoes hell no hell no i would stay on the phone with you all night but actually no i wouldn't because i would rather just hang out with

you yeah no we would just go to each other's room also i've been doing i've been doing this bit recently where i'll call in yet like 2 a.m and then just be like hey hello hey are you okay i miss you we were staying in the same hotel but in different rooms and i'm not kidding the second i walked into my room i had just checked in or walked away from drew and the second i walked in he called me and he was like hello and she was like what what's is everything i got scared i thought something was happening i thought someone was in his fucking room or something or someone followed him to his room like i actually got really scared and he was like i just i miss you and then i was like girl

fuck you and i hung was like girl fuck you and i hung up well we're doing wing stop night tonight y'all oh we're gonna eat wing stop i'm so fucking excited i won't be specific but there are certain haters in new york about wing stop there's ops there's ops over maybe that's who the fucking um therapist or whatever the fuck she is the girl that read my aura yeah that's who she was talking about that is who she's talking about she's talking about the evil entity who has a problem that we eat wing stop the thing is like don't yuck my fucking yum period bitch i'm getting my protein i'm having my fucking chicken like oh if oh but but if i was eating boiled fucking sad rot in me with like broccoli on the side everybody like oh my god oh my god like yes

my queen my healthy queen wing stop is just that but happy exactly it's happiness it's pure like i don't think y'all understand like no drug yeah no drug on earth can give me the same feeling as licking the lid of a ranch cup from wing stop like that shit like really shifts shifts my like whole night like i could be having the worst day of my life and then there's a wing stop cup there i'm licking that goddamn lid and it's literally giving me giving me molly euphoria okay i will say though as much as i ride for wing stop i'll ride for you wing stop because i ride for you wing stop um i don't know that i can have it and someone's gonna get mad because i've been seeing people in the youtube comments being like and you're trying not to mention being high impossible

challenge like just mention it without saying I was high. Like I would never have wing stop sober. That's what I will say. The two things that will stop me from having wings up. I'm so sorry is the sun. And being sober because I did that combination once. I had it when the sun was out and I was not high. Whoa.

I thought you meant the sun exploding. What? Like when you said the only thing that will stop me is the sun i thought you meant oh no no i meant daylight like that is a nighttime if okay i will say like i love wing stop to death i've never had wing stop in the daytime you are diabolical unless it's like a cold bite out of the fridge but like ordering wing stop at 1 p.m uv9 you're literally going to jail you are crazy something is wrong like there's and the outside is cooked yeah there's just certain foods that should not be had when god is watching when the lights are on outside and god can see you clearly and doesn't need to use night vision there's just certain things you shouldn't be eating and wing stop is one of those things i also feel like that about like most fast food for some reason in my head fast food in general

is for the night time having it in the daytime night time my time literally night time my fast food time if i was pregnant and i had quadruplets i would die baby if i if i if i if i you know what song is that i know what song what is it if i if i if i lose you if you lose it yeah you were so bad at singing songs back it's crazy wait no what was the song you were singing i think it was a steve lacy song you were trying to sing the other day and you like were singing it to us it was me and rain i think and you were just singing it and we were like what song are you singing i don't remember what it was oh my god no was it the valley guy with the nails and his hair okay the valley guy with the nails and his hair you know what i'm talking about shoulder pads tiso yes oh yeah no it was a tiso song fuck you were the valley because he has a

song about like a valley doc i've already we've already had this conversation okay a valley doc i don't think he talks about that what his new song that you really like, it has four parts to it. Come on, girl, I'm outside. Hurry up. I'm leaving. He was trying to sing that, and he was like, hurry up. I'm outside. It's freezing.

Giving me a reason. Come on, girl, I'm outside. That was good. Wait. Oh, you sounded really good. Holy shit. See, I was using my vocal inflection. I was using my diaphragm to push the words out

instead of screaming them because every time someone's singing around me i can tell they're screaming the vocals but like me it just comes out naturally and i'm enunciating the vowels i'm dropping it i'm dropping it down i know a lot about singing y'all you really don't were you in like choir or anything growing up uh no i was too or i was in like a church choir up until like fourth grade when going into fifth grade i dropped out no no i was in it in fifth grade going into sixth grade since we were moving to the middle school i dropped out um but you had to do like an audition in front of the whole class oh hell and i had so much social anxiety i was friends with literally everybody

because my school class was so small, but I had so much anxiety, performance anxiety, that I literally, all of my friends took the class and I was the only one that didn't. And it was so fun and I had FOMO all year because they would go on choir trips and all this shit. And I wasn't allowed to because I didn't do that fucking performance in front of everybody.

But in grade school, like, young, young school, I was, like, elementary. I was in church choir. Do they take you on field trips in high school? Because I don't remember going on any field trips in high school. I think they might do them for, like, certain clubs, but I don't think. Yeah, I did, like, speech and debate trips. Like, those. Debate? What are you debating

penis i'm trying to get a good one that was a good one that was really good dude my favorite video will always be the video james charles and somebody like added him like doing an explosive fart to the toilet um yeah the mark jacobs show we didn't really talk about that y'all we did it again um did it again we pushes pushed boundaries saturday saturday sunday um it was fun uh we spoke to cardi b oh my god she was so nice was crazy um i'll let you talk about that moment um so if you don't know mark jacobs just did their show i still am not really sure if it oh no i think it was the fall winter show um i'm pretty sure or maybe it was spring summer who fucking knows definitely fall winter yeah um they did their full winter show and it was freaking amazing um we're talking about us though we're not talking

about that brand we're talking about us here but we usually go and they'll have us like this is our second time going we go and we like interview people and talk to people which is very fun but also nerve-wracking because we basically have to chase after people and like hope that they're not mean to us and we'll just like let us ask them a stupid question most people are very nice cardi b was so fucking nice uh we Alex Kansani is literally like I know y'all see who she is online but like in person like she's like angelic like it's crazy she's so fucking funny too like she's so witty like quick like it's even like comedically intimidating for like me i know it's rare to get around somebody and like i feel

like they make me feel quiet but alex always makes me feel like a quiet person like she's so quick to a point where i'm like fuck okay like also the second you get into a conversation with her she can like drop a funny thing especially when the camera is around she is like so quick on her feet she is so born to be an entertainer it is actually insane she's one of those people and like barbie is one of those people yeah barbie is like so witty and so quick that around like someone like barbie too i'm sometimes i'm like fuck i'm like not fast enough like i'm literally not fast enough to keep up with you um but alex like um if she wanted to she could drop modeling drop the internet everything and pick up stand up and genuinely be so good at it yeah like the way

her mind worked although her mind her mind hermione Granger. Hermione Granger. Spoke to Alex. Spoke to Mrs. Cardi. I'm trying to think of who else we spoke to. That was like a key. Oh, I went up to Anna Wintour. Yeah.

And bothered her, which that's what I'm going to say. All I said, all I could get out was thank you for everything. Thank you for like, what did she do? Thank you for what? She was probably probably like who are these fucking psycho tweaks i was terrified that like i don't know i thought she was gonna like spit on me or something damn um but yeah we also spoke to tara yummy who was a fucking key she's the girl super nice she's really sweet we sat next to her on at the show too she was she was a vibe i mean i didn't think that she wasn't gonna be a vibe i've only heard like good things about her but she was a key i didn't realize how many fucking likes she got on ig you were so stuck on that

girl that shit blew my fucking mind i was like okay she's getting like literally 600 000 likes like i don't ever pay attention to that shit literally ever but for some reason you met a superstar and you didn't even notice you made me feel good about myself because i'm so not tapped into like anything i'm just like in my own world and focusing on my own craft and my own arts and i'm doing this for me that like i'm not trying to appease like other people you know like because when once i start trying to like do it for other people it becomes a job because it starts becoming like monetarily incentivized and that's just no longer creative or fun um so what i try to do is i create

things for myself in peace and in solitude and that's where i find the most uh cathartic releases yeah yeah but you were amazed by tara yeah i know she was so sweet yeah she was really really nice i could dunk on her too yeah she's the smallest person i think i've ever met yeah i could like dunk i could jump over her standing she like reminds me like of what i wanted to be in like high school when it was like a braggadocious thing to be like yeah my feet are tiny like that's like to me tara like when you're like yeah i still like in high school and middle school it would be like yeah i still like my jordans are i wear a size four so wait look how small my hand is what's up spotify this is hobby i remember this one time we're on tour we didn't have any guitar picks and we didn't have time to go to the store so

we placed an order on prime and it got there the next day ready for the show whatever you're into it's on prime this episode is brought to you by samsung galaxy ever captured a great night video only for it to be ruined by that one noisy talker? With Audio Erase on the new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, you can reduce or remove unwanted noise and relive your favorite moments without the distractions. And that's not all. New Galaxy AI features like NowBrief will give you personalized insights based on your day schedule so that you're prepared no matter what.

Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S s25 ultra now at samsung.com wait that's actually crazy and just handed like dwarfs mine do you have giant ginormous hands or do i just have a little baby don't say that about my hands that was crazy did you see that but yeah we met tara she was super like sweet and funny it was also hilarious because we were like filming intros and stuff. And we kept saying to the camera that we... Because Tara had gotten there. We were like, our friend Tara is here. So everyone on the Mark team thought we already had met Tara in person.

So then they went up to her and they were like, oh, Drew and Enyra are here. And she was like, oh, cool. And they were like, you guys are friends. And she was like, cool and they were like you guys are friends and she was like uh not i don't know them they thought there was like beef yeah we accidentally like made everyone curious but no it's because we give actor we give actor boots yeah 100 like it's just hard we're just like quick on our feet we're actresses act trees what else oh i was supposed to meet little uzi vert but that didn't happen but we're gonna make that happen what else oh i was supposed to meet little uzi vert but that didn't

happen but we're gonna make that happen one day yeah i have a bit planned with little uzi and he said yes to it so it's gonna happen yeah so just be prepared for that it never happens yeah people like in five years are gonna be like remember when like drew phillips randomly said he was gonna like hang out with low zeber well it's not shocking because like sean mendez justin bieber jacob alordi all twins of mine by the way are all really close to me and timothy chalamet like when he was filming bones and all like he was really method acting and like he was trying to eat my fingers and shit and i was like bro we're like friends like you can't eat me you don't know him my biggest dream is that one of those people somehow

stumble upon a clip of drew just being crazy and publicly saying that they're friends i mean i did meet sean mendez we'll insert the clip i don't know that i would consider that a meeting video. No, that was fully meeting. Considering me standing 45 feet away from him. In a public grocery store. And him like hiding from the cameras. We should start saying that every time we're in a room with like a huge celebrity. Be like, oh yeah, I've met them like three times.

It's like literally bestie. I mean, we got tea, but we can't say it out loud. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah oh yeah yeah it's so crazy it's so crazy yeah the show was very fun um the looks were gorgina um we chased after mark after the show humiliatingly did not want to speak to us but we were literally forced like animals to chase after like clowns to run after mark jacobs and tell him that his show was amazing and he had his huge box mod in his hand and he just looked at me and those long ass damn ass nails mark fucking nails bro people are obsessed with the nails

you were already on the nails though yeah i was on the foot nails like before everybody like like it's not that shocking to see like a man in long nails we want to see them on your feet show your feet show your fucking feet like let me see your fucking feet like i'm not kidding let me see the fucking you know when uh lady guys i show me your teeth like show me your feet dude the video of rihanna highest fuck at coachella like watching lady guy gonna be like show me your teeth why did i sing it like it was so spooky i don't know i also got blisters from wearing those kiki boots. So that's a thing. Oh, bitch, my picture of me in the Kikis.

Oh, the scary video of you in the Kikis? I was tearing up the runway, y'all. They almost let me wear them. Actually, I decided not to wear them. Yeah, because your fucking toes were curdling. Y'all, I'm not kidding. My pinky toe is like my thumb right now. It was curled underneath.

And every step I took took i would have to like arch my toes like this so i didn't literally rip my pinky toe off i could feel it like the fibers connecting my toe like ripping it was really scary boots um wait scary boots we'll insert the kiki video, though. No, you're walking really, like... I don't think you should wear those. Oh, my God, my stomach. I don't know why it pisses me off so bad when I smile and wave to a baby

and they don't smile and wave back. Like, something about that pisses me off so fucking bad because you're not better than me bitch you're a fucking baby you can't even walk you have to get pushed around by your fucking parents and i'm going on my way to smile and wave at you fucking smiling that's character growth that's character growth for them and it gets you're giving that hi and hello to them to like grow their brain and they're just not reciprocating that energy and i just i feel like it's like really toxic no it is it's them being like how are you a fucking baby and you have such a big ego already like you need to grow the like you're literally not better than you're a fucking baby but you can't even fucking walk like and i'm gonna wipe

your ass i'm literally gonna push you over and you're gonna roll around on the floor like a fucking water bottle i need to start wearing diapers again. Because it's been like five years. I can't believe babies just piss and poop in their diaper. That shit probably gets so cold. I want to pee in a diaper still, y'all. Ew. I want to stand in the shower and pee in a diaper.

Not in like a gross like sexual way, just to see what it feels like. Wasn't there a time where we were like bored as fuck during COVID and we were like low-key we should get diapers and just all piss in them sit on the couch for four days they had us bored as fuck we were like what if we all just got shitting and diaper no dead serious anybody else during covid just really want to piss in a diaper for some reason the weather during covid was like gorgeous but it's probably because there was less outside yeah there was less emissions. You weren't allowed outside. Yeah, there was less emissions from all of our cars on the road. There was no pollution dome over LA.

But if that happened again, I would be pissed. Well, the Dan Gay virus is happening. And no, it's not. No, it's July. So that's not. No, the dan gay virus there are 12 confirmed cases in miami or in florida and that the mosquitoes are there drew your dad being gay is not a virus dan gay you can't just say oh dan gay virus like that's fucked up that's actually too i didn't

even think about that that is really toxic i actually really didn't even think about that but i add so many fucking words that are so unnecessary like i'll be like literally actually i didn't actually literally think about that it's like so annoying you're like verbally no really i i really actually literally didn't even think about that um wait but is like is that a virus that's been around for a long time or is that a new one because i saw somebody on tiktok here i don't know if it was false information but there was like a mosquito that if it bit you it made you allergic to meat oh yeah there's 12 cases in florida right now and it's from mosquitoes in florida it's not like a traveling case like someone

travels somewhere and gets it and then comes back like it's happening here and then there's also probably hundreds more because a lot of the people that get the virus wait don't show symptoms is it not pronounced dengue dengue fever dengue i heard gay when i was watching the video oh it is dang gay dang gay girl of course the dang gay virus happens right after pride like you like hey you you people can't just like take what you get oh my god um the dang gay virus is transmitted to humans through the bites of infected female mosquitoes so it's the slut mosquitoes the slut mosquitoes fucking women of every single always always being bloodthirsty fucking scary animals succubuses fuck you both take take take fuck you both oh my god wait josie literally had fucking dengue fever he might have abdominal

pain or tenderness lethargy or restlessness laboratory finding of increasing hct concurrent with rapid decrease in plat okay platulent count girl the fuck persistent vomiting okay do you die from it yes or no i think so the mortality rate's like pretty gnarly less than one percent oh that's the mortality rate yeah oh girl maybe i'm thinking of zika or some shit you might be thinking of zika virus wait no there's zika malaria i'm thinking of malaria yeah so dengue isn't even that bad girl it's not even that fucking fucking sick yeah like you're good but imagine everybody gets it one person in the world gets it and dies that's crazy um all right y'all i'm so fucking sad lately why just sad what's making you sad do you want to talk about it on our podcast to like a huge audience no

oh no y'all know the fig tree what oh oh gag gag gag gag gag gag um y'all we were in time square on a billboard yeah we were on a billboard in time square the time square and it wasn't in some bunk ass spot a street over like it was in the thick of it all it was there yeah and we went we took pictures with it and everybody was staring at us and like also it's so funny because our the billboard said drew and enya instead of like emergency podcast emergency podcast i just want wing stop so bad i know and then we have to go hang out with 36 people. Yeah, we have to go hang out with a bunch of friends because we're so popular. But I'm not kidding. Wingstop does something for me that's like really good.

But I won't like bring the conversation back to Wingstop because we already went on a tangent for like 10 minutes. Okay. But yeah, we had a billboard and it was freaking awesome. And I waited till the last five minutes of it being up to go look at it. Yeah. I have a good video of me like doing the Thailand dance in front of it. Something is wrong with you.

The fact that your mom filmed that is like what's so crazy that he's fucking talking about my mom filled me that's like a kai joke he fills you with milkies milkies mama milkies i want milk wait but why have you been sad i'm confused i'm confused tree what about your fig tree like all the fruit on it going to rot off because I can't make a fucking decision on what I want to do with my life. Oh, you mean that fucking quote about the fig tree? I really, it's got me, it has me fucking thinking. I even wrote down a list of everything I want to do in my life and I'm like, cool.

What is it you want to do that's going to take that much time literally everything it's embarrassing to say so i'll tell you in private but like i want to i want to make like a fucking cartoon but like animation is too hard nick inexpensive um i want to make documentaries because i have a bunch of good documentary ideas you're only 26 you have like more than enough time to do most of the things you want to do but like i'd have to commit to one of them now well and i picked the the that's what i'm saying and like start working on it on the side all of them are difficult documentary is hard because you would have to like dedicate like a lot of time so that would have to be way later y'all i have such a good documentary idea and it's i already got a yes

from the dude um that i want to make it on but i just know it's a can of worms i just know once i go in there like it's gonna end up me being me josh and lucas filming it for like three months but also i'm just so bad at interviewing people. But like I know like the Werner Herzog method is like to get them to do like 30 different takes and like like them delivering it like they were angry, like or like they were happy or like they were sad. So then he can like go back into the edit and like fully contrive the story how he wants it to be um but i don't know we'll see i feel like you could do one like the cartoon one i guess actually yeah a lot of it does take a lot of time but specifically a lot of it takes a lot of time and money and you wouldn't be able to do like other work but you know what it's not that deep because you were literally 26

if you live up to 75 you have so damn i do have 69 years i'll have 69 you're not 17 you're not like you have to come to terms with the fact that you are and you're not pretty man and i'm okay with that you you're saying you're going low because i'm trying to bring you back to a reality and help you confront something that is upsetting you and giving you my reality is my reality okay real reality um but yeah i feel like you have a lot of time to do stuff but also you're talking to somebody who has like an empty brain and not a lot of wants so i can't relate to wanting to do anything no i think the main one i'm gonna pursue is our tv show yeah that's the one that was it sets off like a domino effect to do like other things in the creative industry tv show coming

soon y'all we're manifesting we're claiming that energy we'll see we're claiming that energy just everybody claim that energy for us please knock on wood knock on wood sorry universe i'm not cocky i'm literally like genuinely just so grateful for everything that you've blessed me with thank you universe what do you want to do with your life literally nothing that is the dream like my dream is to be at a point where i can like sustain and like help my family and then disappear that's what i do this for remember when i used to say once i get seven million dollars i'm gonna disappear mind you not even relatively you haven't even chipped you haven't even chipped the

first step i literally said i said if i don't have a million dollars by 25, I'm killing myself. And look at you alive and well. Without a million dollars. I just like got fucking mental health. Dude, I actually don't know. Like, I don't know how people are supposed to make like that much, but we don't need to get into it. Yeah, we don't need to talk about talking about all that. But yeah, I don't have like i don't have like any extreme wants

especially like as of right now like there's certain things that i like would like to do like at one point in my life i i don't have anything that's like necessarily career driven like you know what i think it'd be cool to act in something like that would be fun for me like yeah and we'll direct it yeah but also i kind of want to be in like someone else's thing that's but i want to be in like a small thing like i would like to be in like a small funny like like almost indie vibe yeah like an indie thing just to do it just like i really just want to do it to experience it because the things i have been able to be a part of i'm like wow this is insane like it's cool to see the

inner workings of the machine that makes content of that form girl we literally were in a movie an indie movie oh yeah daddy yeah go go check out addy daddy me and yeah josh and lucas were in it and lucas and inya's characters were so funny um but yeah i i would like like to do something like that but i'm not like hell bent on it i um eventually would like to make music but like in my head i want to make like cute sweet music when i'm like 40 or something lap steel guitar bro yeah i want to make like well you know what you could do is start a pop career right now because everybody won't shut the fuck up about your song like i didn't have one i know kai and drew are low-key jealous like y'all are making them jealous no low-key i'm high-key no i'm i'm literally just joking i literally feel bad i i literally feel

bad because it was like kai's idea to like make girls and stuff and then everybody was talking about mine so much and i was like damn i feel like i like intruded on something no one gives a flying fuck me and kai don't but um no i've been like such a big advocate for you singing for so long like and you know that i've been telling you for the last five years i know every now and then when we're in the car we'll be like why don't you just make music and then I'm like oh I don't know and then I keep singing my little songs all right I think I'd want to make music just like later on in my life but like yeah I don't have any like goals that are like I need to do this to feel fulfilled because they're not like the problem I'm like waiting I'm waiting on like I feel like I wait for things to come to me and then i accept them i'm not like searching for any kind of thing to for fulfillment because the things that are

going to fulfill me is making sure my family's good yeah also like having like financial and material things in your head that are like these are the things that like once i get i'm gonna be good and i'm gonna be happy and then you get those things and it's just on to the fucking next and it's like a perpetual evil cycle of wanting more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and you're never truly happy once you realize what you got and what you have in front of you and around you that's true true happiness because like we are all fed we all got roofs we all got family and we got like great found family friends like that's really all you

fucking yeah i'm like super grateful for where i'm at so i think that's also why i'm like i don't really need much else as of right now like of course i could always like want stupid shit but the new prada bag um the new collection wouldn't hurt i saw a fucking comment that is the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me and not only was it the meanest thing anybody said to me 10 000 people agreed at least girl the comment was like why every time i see drew he gets wetter like he just looks wet you're moist you're moist as fuck that's moisturized that's fucked up because that's like a huge insecurity of yours you were literally being like do i look oily do i look i hate my oil on my fucking face but it's

also my fault because i use that snail mucin and that's what makes me glossy and shiny and for a while i was like oh this is giving snail mucin i was like oh this is like this is giving everything i wanted it to give but apparently i look slimy like a snail's i don't think you look slimy you look slimy in a way where like i wouldn't trust you but not slimy like in a way where you like actually look oily oh you're drinking cum water yeah of course you look slimy in a way i was gonna say i got you like you're wet because i'm so sexy and you're like leaving a snail trail behind every time you look at me

because i'm attractive you are attractive you know that i literally no i'm not don't even like don't even get me started because everybody's gonna everybody's gonna leave mean fucking comments about my appearance no people always say you're hot like you're crazy you know what it is is like drew went from getting no comments about his appearance ever to being called like sexy way too often so now you're bar of what you need to like suffice i need buccal fat removal i need botox in my masseter muscles i need zyg implants. What the fuck is zygote? I think they're the zygomatic bone in your cheek. I need a facelift.

I need a haircut. You need self-love. Yeah, I think our phones are destroying us because humans have always naturally been obsessed with their looks and shit, but the vocabulary and the way it's infiltrated our day-to-day lives now is so scary. And we already had like Tumblr and things like that, that made you feel less than and made you feel like you had to chase beauty standards. And the internet was doing that. But nowok is so interesting because it's like in such

a subliminal way like it's become just modern vocabulary to make a comment about the way you look in a demeaning way and we need to change the vibe and everybody needs to just be like overly cocky to undo and swing the pendulum the other way. And everybody needs to be like, I am sexy. I am hot. I am so fucking slay. Like we need. I am hot. I am free.

I am free. I am crazy. I am sexy. Everything is so crazy. Everything is so crazy. Cause we're so crazy. We're so crazy. Should we scroll down TikTok and see what comes up?

I mean, pride month is over thank god they're ripping down all the flags like i'm tired of seeing all that around anyways like dude i literally couldn't stop laughing about the idea of like a business oh sorry it was an alan iverson edit should i go on my alan irison tangent no no it's actually really lit it's actually really basically when he was 17 he was in a brawl at a fight and every single school in the world dropped him and the only school that stayed around was georgetown he got sentenced to 14 years in prison what yes for wearing a brawl no no he was in a brawl oh i thought he got all that backlash for being seen wearing a bra and i was like holy shit we are so fucked he went to jail for wearing a bra

this was like in 1993 by the way a brawl why the fuck didn't you say fight because i have a great vocabulary like duh no because you you have that fucking weird southern drawl. So you cannot say brawl. Yeah, that is true. Because it sounds like you're saying brawl. Brawl. Yeah. Okay, so he went to jail.

He went to jail for four months and then was pardoned by the mayor of, I think, West Virginia or whatever the fuck. Of Virginia Town. And then he proceeded to be one of the greatest nba players of all time he brought swag to the league he's the dude that got cornrows side stay or like on oh he's getting his hair done oh my god literally the most iconic sick fucking moment the only thing i care about in basketball is the tNT guys making fun of the outfits that the basketball players wear that to me is so funny and then

that one basketball player who was getting like so made fun of because he was just copying a bunch of other players who and their reactions to winning yeah like

like so crazy we did it we did it joe okay well this is where my brain was at last night if you're wondering bruh me saying i was a viner would be like me saying like oh i was in silent films like that's the equivalent at this point wait what like a viner or a minor no so dude it's actually crazy that i'm a minor still i feel like i've been a minor for 26 years old you are a 26 year old man with a fucking podcast with a mustache who eats fast food every night you are a grown man don't even don't even go there because you know that's not true you know that's not true you know that's not true

um but i was saying like it's crazy because i saw this tiktok that somebody commented what is vine like oh i saw that's fine and that freaked me out because i was like oh my god vine is literally vintage like vine is a vintage decade it's a decade old old now and i was saying me telling a young person like oh i was on bond would be the equivalent of somebody being like oh i was in silent films like oh i was in the black and white pictures like i was in the movie i was on the silver screen yeah like it's literally like i would i'm so embarrassed to be like oh i was a finer i would never claim that yeah because young people would be like you were a what bitch the fuck are you talking about like even saying musically like it feels so old now it just feels so far removed so saying i was

from vine is really clocking my age in a way that i don't want to be doing so i will not be saying i was on vine i was never there i was too busy being young and fun and somewhere else and i just uh got a podcast and it just happened miraculously thank god for giving me my two eyes that i got to open today i'm not happy about opening my eyes today because i want two eyes two lungs two hearts yeah two livers you know we know we do yeah you got two of every organ you got two of every organ you're literally lying because i don't have two hearts you you literally do no i'm just like y'all just one night always together damn together damn media

media media you don't have a psyop corner I'm a psyop corner I don't have a psyop corner I don't have a psyop corner or a Drew stand up I've been ran down

worked to the fucking bone I can't do anything i don't have any time for myself and don't expect them in the next four episodes either because they're all getting recorded in two weeks or in one week i'm cooked i'm fucking fried y'all hi are you a top hey no sorry never never ever apologize for being yourself that's how the straights kept us down for hundreds of years i want to suck your dick till you nut in my mouth and your toes curl up asap who is this sorry wrong number hell no you got the right number this time dude i feel like i'm dying oh my god before we started this episode i okay i started taking chlorophyll because it makes me not stink but does anybody else have this it constipates me it literally when i take the dropper fluids

it gives me fucking diarrhea doo-doo and then when i take the pills for chlorophyll it constipates me so i guess i'm just meant to be fucking stinky as fuck this summer and the thing is a lot of people see pretty girls and they're like oh she definitely doesn't stink no pretty girls smell the worst that's the new rumor i'm starting so keep that in mind. That's true. It's a factually true fucking statement. Yeah, I don't got shit for y'all. Sorry. Y'all have also been lacking in the fucking emails, bro. Here is my media of the freaking week.

Summer Breeze by Piper. Deep Blue Sea by Art Lone. Y'all need to stop filtering your picks. You go missing, we're looking for Miss America instead of Bigfoot. Savannah sent that one. We Let the Stars Go by Prefab Sprout. And then that's the end of my media. Those BBL caskets gonna look like a guitar case

that's really good I hate smoking with paranoid bitches the fuck you mean you saw the hash slinging slasher dude my favorite rendition of that is like the fuck you mean you saw Yoti Yamamoto the fuck you mean you saw Yoti Yamamoto I saw one too where itamamoto the fuck you mean you saw yoji yamamoto i saw one too where

i was like the fuck you mean you saw michael jackson message me if you eat twizzlers i need you to bite somebody's tires for me bitches be like going shopping and forgot to put the lifting at the end that's inya when she stole from sephora it's me in high school when i was addicted to i almost said smoking when i was those were from summer summer's carrying right now i need some dick filet with a balanesian sauce i need i need some dick filet with some Polynesian sauce. My favorite PSYOP quote you've ever said was bitch, I hate

anxiety. Like, ooh, no, no. What if something happens? Like, it's so real. Literally, what if? What if something happens and I don't know what's gonna happen and it still happens? So basically, this person messaged me on my business email, business inquiry.

This doesn't mean that a bunch of y'all do that. I swear to God, if it's not Psy Op Corner or stand up bits, I don't want to fucking see it. But if you're not being a free writer for the show, I don't. Exactly. Exactly. But they messaged me saying that they've been lying to their friends about being cousins with me and Inya for a very long time and they started questioning them and they asked us if we could send them a video of us being like hey cousin um hey mija or hey mijo fuck um but anyways uh we sat in the car and sent them a video of me and nina saying hello

like that's our best friend that's our cousin like come to la we'll fly you out we miss you we haven't seen you in a few months never got a fucking response yeah they never responded so don't ever try that shit with yeah so that was the first and last time i will ever be nice see because i did that shit and i was like oh this is going viral i'm joking i'm joking i'm joking no i just wanted to see the reaction like in the email or whatever i know i wanted to see if they actually showed it to their friends also i think what i'm gonna do is like i i've been having this idea because i've just been feeling like so creatively in a fog and you know i just like think oh i might be hitting burnout

and then i'm like okay so you know what would make me feel better is if i like did something good but filmed it and made a youtube video out of it so i'm starting to think i might do oh like giving you the homeless yeah or like going going to like through a drive-thru and being like, I'm going to pay for everybody in the line. Like here is like a gift card with like $5,000 on it. That's actually really interesting. And everybody today gets free food. Because you'll get a lot of praise online.

Yeah, and like I'll like quadruple that income if the video goes viral like a Mr. Beast video. That's actually like fascinating. Yeah. So you'll make more money than you give away right yeah yeah yeah that's kind of the end goal the end goal is to like give a little away so maybe not 5 000 i was thinking like maybe 50 on a gift card but never saying the amount but being like i'm paying for everybody behind me and it's insinuating that i paid for like 50 people's food

but really also my friend is going to be in the car behind me so it's my food actually that's a crazy scam like doing like a pay it forward but really you're just paying for your own meal in the back like for the car behind you but filming it and making it seem like you just like did something amazing we should try that out yeah we're gonna do that so if you see a video where it's like me and all of our friends in our own cars in a long drive-thru line And we're like we're gonna pay for everybody's don't say shit also also also also Hold me to it. I need to record a doppelganger video soon a Drew's go through the Drew's look-alike account Yeah, bully me until I do it cuz I really want to start posting on YouTube again Okay, my media

Let's just pick a random fucking playlist and scroll through it all right scroll to it oh breathe by telepop music and angela mccluskey inner voice by hoover phonic Inner Voice by Hoover Phonic. Strings of Life, Derek May. Oh, I love that song. 35 Summers, Plaid. Peace Seeker, Hymera. Love Hymera. My Goal, Wilson Tanner. And See You No Mo, DJ Godfather.

No mo, no mo, no mo dj godfather no mo no mo no mo i just had to let you know let you know let you know and one last thing forever in memory in in memoriam of the old set we had our friend leon do a painting in his style because we love it so fucking much and she lives on forever in our hearts and let's just say big things coming soon. And let's just say we're putting this on a shirt. We're putting that on a shirt. Merch drops soon. All right. Well, thank you guys so much for walking.

I almost said walking. Thank you guys so much for watching. Thank you for walking. If we seem out of it, it's because I'm losing my freaking mind. So. I'm out.