Emergency Intercom - Period simulator challenge

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

https://www.patreon.com/emergencyintercom join the Patreon for bonus episodes, q&a/topic submissions, livestreams, pay for ky's lobotomy Enya cancels Monistat and Ky and drew try the period simulator Spice up your life and get 30 days of full access for free when you go to: https://dipseastories.com/INTERCOM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Samsung Galaxy. Ever captured a great night video only for it to be ruined by that one noisy talker? With Audio Erase on the new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, you can reduce or remove unwanted noise and relive your favorite moments without the distractions. And that's not all. New Galaxy AI features like NowBrief will give you personalized insights based on your day schedule so that you're prepared, no matter what. Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra now at Samsung.com. Hey Why does it feel like it's been like three months since we recorded?

Where am I? You're in the kitchen Oh, okay Oh my god Oh my god, bruh No, we're in our studio, guys It's a studio Yeah, and they got rid of the Oh my God, bruh. No, we're in our studio, guys. It's a studio.

Yeah, and they got rid of the... We usually have a nice big table for me, but now I'm on the fucking floor. I was going to say that was my first topic. So we got rid of the infamous, heavy emphasis on the infamous day of my tour, actually, like low-key actually um and that table we decided was actually a cursed object it had very dark-sided energy what's fucked up is like i wish you were joking but both of us literally are we are positive that table is what was giving us bad luck it was demonic like borderline like it was very very creepy and like also like thinking

about like the store we bought it from how like it doesn't exist like we cannot find the store we bought it from and like also the it was like it was like glowing like lit up when we walked in and it was like literally the first table like in the middle of the store it was like the ugliest table ever we bought it when when we were 19 and 20. We were like, this table. It's so mid-century. This table. It was the ugliest table ever.

And every time we did an episode, it was like the mission of Drew moved it in the morning when we were setting up. And then I would move it back when we were done setting up. And it was just driving me crazy. 300 pounds. We had someone take it we had it removed and it's sitting in a donation shop somewhere in la because we had a task grab to

take it and it's yeah now i'm on the floor and i'm covered in dirt so i actually just mopped this floor yesterday okay there's a little bit of dirt yeah from you because you're so old you're dusting away let's not forget about the sand in the shoe incident actually roll that clip um i love them so much they have this square almost frog-like toe detail kai there's sand falling out of your shoe fell out of your sneakers that was a band-aid a three-year-old band-aid um it's so funny saying roll that clip and it's kai who has to insert it um so the dust is coming from inside the call is coming from inside the house the dust is coming from inside the body the dust is coming from inside the shoe

um yeah now we don't have a table and we've been eating at the counters i mean we eat in the living room anyway yeah don't eat i mean you eat in your bed i eat in the living room well i always eat in bed hello like you mean you're eating like oh you ate box munching on box and shit oh yeah oh i'm a munch munch i'm a munch i'm literally a munch y'all hashtag munch hashtag munich munch what is munich munich i think is a place in like and a tunic is a shirt but isn't that also a dude that like forcibly had his balls removed oh a eunuch eunuch yeah that's a person that's someone who gets their nuts absolutely removed i showed kaya video of this dude with really long do people have to do that like when they have a disease or something

or it was like they used to do it to boys back in like medieval times so that they could always have high pitch voices to sing really i think so and then also it was like a torture tactic too it was like oh you fucked up like we was like, oh, you fucked up. Like we're taking your balls. We got to get back to that. Ew. Oh my God. Is that what you showed me?

Yeah, that's insane. That is actually fucking repulsive. That is disgusting. We'll insert it. We literally can't. It was a man's nasty fucking balls ew ew yo they're like literally 23 inches long like it's really it's really unbelievable but when i saw that video i went on a deep dive on his account because i was like is he like stretching his balls somehow like what like how

did he do this and he claims it's all natural like he was born with it it's not a defect like all of like the doctors you've been to are like yeah you just got really low hang let your nuts hang you got let your nuts hang i mean it was personified there's like this is completely different but there is this disease that i recently found out about i don't know the name of it but it's like your body can't produce enough. No, keep going. Finish that. Just like the Inya disease.

Like if you have it, you're so beautiful. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So like we all have it. Oh, no, no. It's very rare. It's very, very rare. But it's like this disease that stops your production of collagen.

So there's this baby I saw on TikTok that their baby like looks much older than it is. And it's because it's something to do with the collagen or like the muscles in your face. I don't have enough strength to keep up your skin. I wish I remember what it was. Like super saggy. Yeah. So I wonder if that happened to that person's balls. This is possible. But yeah, I went on a deep dive in that video literally made me cry laughing because he's supposed to be like a football player and he's like a lineman and he's really insecure about

it so he's reclaiming it so he posts posts that video yeah of his really long balls i mean like i feel bad because i'm not helping because they actually made me, like, really angry. Well, you just, like, don't like balls. Like, you really don't like men. I don't like balls either, to be honest. I love balls. Dude, something, like, the male anatomy is just so fucking nasty.

Like, they could have, I don't know, there needs to be a rework. We were made in god's image like all of us we're all beautiful in our own ways and that's why i'm very anti looks max and god had bad body dysphoria he was like i'm disgusting i'm disgusting i'm gonna make this i'm disgusting and then we have men um but i love men guys love love love everybody knows that about me i don't like bisexuals i don't like bisexuals me. Loving you. I don't like bisexuals. I don't like bisexuals.

I don't like bisexuals. I don't like bisexuals. I don't like bisexuals. I don't like bisexuals. I don't like bisexuals. I don't like bisexuals. I don't like bisexuals. I don't like bisexuals.

I don't like bisexuals. I don't like bisexuals. I don't like bisexuals. I do not like bisexuals. I do not like bisexuals. Thank God I'm straight as fuck fuck or else i'd be really hurt okay well guys i know we've talked about it a bunch in the past um but there was a moment in mine and inya's lives where together we thought everything was gonna change.

I'll give you some back stories for some clarity, but basically we auditioned for this movie that we genuinely thought, oh, we got the part. We literally got the part. We were driving home listening to what was the song. You know what's crazy is like, uh, we're done. You got the music in me. What's crazy is we felt that, but I don't even think we did that good. No, we did terribly.

We didn't think we did good. That's the craziest part. We didn't walk away from that audition being like, that's the best audition I've ever done. I think it was one of our first auditions we've ever done it was my first one it was maybe my like second third one that i like actually did and i was like i want this i did not do good i remember walking i mean like we did not eat we that wasn't good we did not eat um but the trailer released for the movie. Are we allowed to even say, I'm like,

this is free promo for them. People talk about like movies they audition for. Yeah. It was Y2K by Kyle Mooney. And I swore to God, like seeing who they casted versus like what I looked like when I auditioned. Like, Oh my God.

That is like the most embarrassing thing I've ever. Wait, I didn't see it. I still haven't seen the trailer. I watched the trailer the trailer it looks okay like i was supposed to be in the movie i was supposed to be in the video supposed to be in the music video yeah i was supposed to be in the video i was just busy i was supposed to be in the movie i was just busy working on the greatest podcast of all time i just couldn't make it into my schedule emergency intercom guys today i feel like like it's going to be a wholesome episode.

Yeah. I have really good vibes today. Really just baseline average episode. We will say nothing negative. I think I already did, though. You just yelled I don't like bisexuals. I screamed I hate bisexual people. Yeah.

That's not negative. That's true. That is literally an unknown thing by everybody in the world that's more just like an objective observation exactly exactly um well i have been getting this ad on tiktok that is really freaking me out and you've been scrolling no not even that somebody is capitalizing on that and was like, instead of doom scrolling, you should start micro learning. And it's an app. I don't know what the app is. I subscribed to it.

What is it? It's Impulse. What is it? It's like a brain teaser thing. Are you learning facts and stuff? I don't know if it's the same one but it's like uh it's really hard to explain it's just like brain games well the ad i got looked like an ai person on stage doing a ted talk like i couldn't tell if it was a real video did you save it no i wish i

did but i bet if i look up micro learning i can find it but i just can't wait what was it it was like stop scrolling and start micro learning i'm gonna take my macro of knowledge right now are you fucking kidding me i personally feel like i'm always learning something even if it's fucking stupid could you teach me something intelligent from a macro what macro am i gonna get of knowledge like micro learning what mic like microscopic piece of knowledge can you give me that's gonna make me feel better about being on my phone?

Okay, the T is, is like, why are we micro learning like math and micro learning reading and micro learning new languages? What we should be micro learning is how to love one another and how to be present in the moment and grateful for everything that we have yeah and really like using perspective to our perspective to our advantage yeah and really using it to our advantage to like um yeah just love ourselves and each other thing is i do feel like i learn a lot

from tiktok but even last night there's this weather channel guy who i watch i think you you watch him too wait let me make sure i think you've seen this guy he's like the drew gooden of weather the drifts were so high additions weather box no i've never seen him what this guy uh no no dude i'm obsessed with him because he talks about um weather phenomenons but he goes into extreme detail like showing maps how to read maps like every time before he gets into like footage and stuff he goes on a deep dive of like the maps and like what the meteorologists and everybody were seeing as it was coming in and as the forecast was being developed my favorite shit but then i had a moment last night where i was looking at him i was like

he could be saying fucking anything to me right now and i would just believe it like he's never been like yeah i have a phd and blah blah blah like i went to school for this and i but i do believe him and i do think he knows what the fuck he's talking about but i was like it's kind of how sometimes i just say shit on here without second guessing whether it's true or not. And then I'll see a comment where like, damn, she really is dumb. She just repeats everything. I'm like, yeah, it's because I just see stuff on TikTok and on YouTube and I repeat it.

I'm literally Dunning-Kruger effect personified. What is that? It's like where you like hear one thing about like a topic and then you think you're an expert on it much grateful very thanks much grateful very thanks bro so the uh run the gauntlet dot com was a website that was like gore coded that you would like see a video and it would be the most gory thing and that's level one and then once you finished it you got to go to level two and it was just really really like the bottom barrel like darkest most like gore-coded shit ever it was horrible nasty dark-sided evil energy

and vibes well the website like sometime recently made like a cringe version of run the gauntlet so it was like run the gauntlet but it's like cringe videos so it was like to get to the next level you would have to like watch this cringe video all the way through and me and ania started like playing it last night and like it's not that hard to do because like nothing phases videos aren't even cringy. They just make me really sad. And I'm just like, oh, like, I don't get that feeling of like, oh, there was like one video. But I've seen clips from this.

It's like this really weird fucking TV show host for a game show in the 70s who, like, kept trying to kiss the, like, young girls who were on it. And that I've seen on TikTok because I've seen a lot of people talk about how common that shit was even in the 70s whatever whatever that was awful to watch but the rest of it was just sad it was like kid pranking his dad and his dad like not reacting yeah like throwing a water balloon at him but there was one where buzzfeed literally went on stage and had like one award. A Webby. Yeah a Webby award and there there was five of them

or four of them or something and they each said one word and it was much grateful very thanks and that was their acceptance speech. And then just walked off stage and said nothing else and me and Drew were like Was that like a doge? Much. Was that like a doge? Yeah yeah like was that like a much it's like a dope yeah yeah it

was like very like it was like so i say much you say grateful much grateful oh y'all no you pointed at me and said grateful i know much grateful very thanks like that that's really sick that's how it went except there was a fourth person that's pretty dirty but that's our new inside joke it was really really bad like yeah there isn't like it wasn't like too intense but there were a few videos on there that like were really cringy like creepy bro the thing is like i can't think of anything that really makes me cringe like that anymore what about that video of me with doula peep no that just makes me laugh really hard that doesn't make me cringe even when i first saw it i don't know if i cringed at it as much as i was just like this is amazing like i cannot believe this like seeing you in the background like didn't we all send it in the group chat yes that was evil that was a bit evil but like it was just too funny

also who got it on their timeline was it me or josh i don't remember i think we all did separate like it all got on all our timelines so they wanted us to see that and that's an amazing video okay sick like honestly yeah i'm low-key proud of it well somebody played my remix of everything is embarrassing at a club oh i saw no fucking way i'm trying to find it is that what you wanted to show me a couple days ago oh my god that is so fucking lit someone literally played it how'd they get the full one i don't know like i think somebody might have taken it from the episode and tried to like discern like our voices overlapping it because that like full cut of it isn't out yeah unless did we like upload it somewhere no we never uploaded it because i'm like people like it but like it

something about it embarrasses me like i'm like oh my god i can't believe that it's like the take a diss track like i understand it's like we did it because it was funny and we were trolling and whatever but it became such a staple in our internet lore that when i hear it like it does something to my body oh that's like i'll never ever ever hate take a diss track or your no i like your part of it but hearing myself i'm just like oh my god like no it's like it's forever forever it was really fun and it's crazy that we made that because i just got stuck in texas like i wasn't that wasn't supposed to happen i was on a layover from LA to Miami or vice versa or something.

And I got stuck in Texas because of storms. And then I went to your house. And we proceeded to make a smash fucking hit in my bed. Yeah, we made history with Apple headphones. Fuck, wait, wait, wait. Inspired a generation. that it was somebody like trying to sing. Oh, it was a part of that cringe compilation. Somebody had somebody had a cheese see like this stuff isn't cringy

to me it's like this girl made a version of fancy by iggy azalea but about cheesecake factory i'm like that's really cute like they were bored they just made it for the franchise like it's sweet but the way she was rapping over the beat literally i was like drew this is what you sound like when you first get on a beat and you're trying to like figure out your spot on it yeah and then also trying to like repeat like melodies that people feed to me it's like literally impossible that is literally like the worst thing for drew if drew was in a situation where someone had a gun to his head and they were like all you have to do to be free is repeat exactly what i'm about to say to you back to me with the same tone he would add 18 words yeah it's impossible it's impossible and i can't read out loud it's because you're

so original yeah you don't believe in saying other people's thoughts i'm different i will say on your uh charlie remix you like fighting the beat is honestly kind of advanced no it's whore like that's the thing is i'm i'm different like i did my own fucking it's kind of like a scammer flow hello like yeah i was off beat on purpose like what is it blue face baby yeah it's very similar dude i wait what was it was like the red the email part like i fed you like i was like oh you could say it like this and you're like okay okay okay and you did it and you added like three words words so you overlapped where you're supposed to stop and then for the next one it was so hard for you to like you're like oh i'm gonna keep that and then to hit the next line you had to jump in so fast if you kept doing it you're like that's it fuck god fucking damn it damn it

god damn it damn i'm gonna fucking lose my shit that's also the funny thing about you is like i know you well enough that when you were like uh frustrated with something when you like yell fuck like that it's not coming from a serious place like it's not real anger but you are so quick to do something you'd be like fuck oh my god oh you did the other night because i almost killed those we saw alien oh wait were you talking about in the car no i was talking about when we were going to the gym yesterday and i like pulled out and almost killed us, bro. What's up, Spotify? This is Javi.

I remember this one time we're on tour. We didn't have any guitar picks and we didn't have time to go to the store. So we placed an order on Prime and it got there the next day ready for the show. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. It was so scary. And I was like, I'm going to lose my fucking shit. It was not a fast enough road that we would have died he pulled out because this car randomly pulled out at the same time and almost t-boned us and

drew freaked the fuck out and i don't even remember what you yelled i said i'm gonna lose my fucking shit i'm gonna lose my fucking mind i'm gonna fucking kill myself but it's not real i know it's not real but i was talking about after alien romulus um, we were all trying to figure out like how the characters were related to each other. And we all had our own theory. So Drew went into his room for like an hour and came back. He was like, OK. So like me and Josh was like, OK, I know. I know how all the characters are related.

So we're standing in the kitchen with him and he's like going on and we keep butdying and we're like, wait, are you talking about this character or this character? Cause we also don't know any of the characters. I don't know their fucking name. We don't know any of their names. So we're all trying to like discern what Drew's saying to us. And at one point he goes, Oh my God. Oh my God.

I'm going to have a fucking stroke. I can't do this. I literally can't do this. I'm going to go, I'm going to go back to my room. Oh my God. I did like a stop. Please stop.

It was more like, Oh my God, I'm going to have a fucking stroke. I need to leave. Like now I need to go back. And he ran to his room and I went, he was just standing in there like this. I literally like had a fucking stroke i need to leave like now i need to go right to his room and i went he was just standing in there like this like i literally like had a fucking stroke bro you were rebooting bro i literally lost my shit and it wasn't funny until like three minutes later because i was like

it's actually so frustrating when i can't like verbalize my thoughts which is like 95 percent of my fucking life it drives me insane but i understand you get me you get me we get each other exactly exactly well my i was talking to my mom the other day on the phone and like i've just like never like heard her dating history which like i was always curious about because like my mom was like a baddie when she was younger like she was a heartbreaker um she still is still is like i cannot believe she's what 60 i think she's 60 72 actually your mom's not 70 yeah she's 72 and she looks that good she's like eating down um but no she um was like a little heartbreaker and she's told me one story that always like cracked me up but one of them was like she was on a date with a dude that she really really liked like it was

like one of the first times they were meeting like he had like a brand new nice-ass truck and like he was just gorgina grande they like went to dinner they did the whole thing like it was it was a great night and on the drive home she watched him pick his nose on both sides and pull out the biggest fucking boogers and then wipe them on the side of his brand new truck seat and when she was getting out she went over to his side and looked at the side of his seat and it was covered so she immediately like cut it off but this one was a new story that like literally had me crying fucking laughing so basically i was like talking about josiah and like how he's had a lot of stomach pain and she was like oh my god like i once like went on a date with a guy and they like went to

the dinner like they had a good ass fucking meal and they go out to the car and he like starts doubling over in pain because like my mom didn't know why. And she like he was like doubled over, like about to throw up. He was sweating and he was super pale. And she was like, what the fuck is going on? Like this went on for like three minutes. And then eventually, like he got so embarrassed and he was so embarrassed to tell my mom this. But he was like, I have IBS. My mom literally was so cringed out at a guy having IBS that she broke up with him.

It was like, no, like I don't want anything to do with that. That is so funny. Also, so awesome. Like how quickly she decided not to be involved with a man off of some shit like that. Like, ugh. That is so... IBS is... If you have IBS, like, you're gross. Like, you're nasty.

I will say, like, I guess that would tap back into the thing of, like, if I was with a man and he always had a stomach issue, it would annoy the fuck out of me. Because, like, I'm the one with the stomach issues. Yeah, my tummy's supposed to hurt. Like, my stomach hurts. My stomach hurts. I don't know if I to hurt. My stomach hurts. My stomach hurts. I don't know if I have IBS though. That is so funny. The boogers one is even grosser though.

The IBS one is just funny. Her being like, no. Also, okay, I know IBS is like hurts, but to be doubling over like that, is IBS that serious for some people? Some people, yeah. Also like IBSbs i need to clarify is gay it's a very gay thing to have and if you're a man with ibs come out of the closet is that one

of the signs yeah oh i didn't know that don't you have ibs nope i just have constipation babe there's a difference there's a huge difference. I still don't. Oh, is it irritable bowel syndrome? Ew, dude. The word bowel is so fucking rancid, bro. My fucking bowels are hollow. My rancid, stinky bowels.

My bowels have a turd lodged in it. My full bowels. The twink belly. The twink pouch. That's how you know they have a turd loaded in the chamber see if they have that little pouch dude i hate that so much um well i've stayed up late enough for the past week that i've seen people starting their morning routines on tiktok like it'll be like 4 a.m my time and I'm watching somebody upload like three seconds ago and it's somebody who I see in the daytime usually and it's like two days after they upload

and I see them freshly being like I'm gonna make my coffee before I go to school and I'm just like but it's not time to go to bed there's also this one girl who I think she lives on the east coast because it always happens around 4 or 5 a.m Our time she lays in her bed and is like on live stream talking like doing like an early early morning live stream And it freaks me out because i'm just like dude. I cannot believe that for her. She she's been asleep like she actually Cares about herself and went to sleep early And has the will and the lust for life to wake up early and get on live stream and just be up with the sun. I don't think I'll ever be somebody who wants to wake up early.

I love waking up with the sun. It's just not. It's too many hours in the day. Because then by 3 p.m., I'm losing my mind. Yeah. Do you guys ever get the live stream of the guy with the huge belly? That's like a spherical big belly. Oh, I think so.

All the time. And he starts drawing all over his body with marker like the names of donators it's so dense it looks very hard i want to know how they get that because it's definitely like shit that they're eating like they might it has to just be alcohol like every time i see a belly like that stiff and like beer belly vibe oh like it just looks like it hurts yeah it's definitely like a feeder kink though it looks like a four belly yeah yeah he likes getting big and filled and stuffed why do beer bellies are like why are they so stiff and like dense what is the science there

is it like calcium buildup on your fucking lining i don't know like that's what i imagine it's like your body is like your stomach lining is burning constantly from the amount of alcohol you put in it and your stomach is like something to do with like retaining water and like your body just gets super saturated with water so i'm gonna become a feeder y'all you are no i'm gonna become one where i feed oh you feed other people yeah until they die that's do you have someone that you want to feed yet? Yes, you. I want to get you nice and big. I would love that.

Are we starting today? We started months ago. That's why you're so big right now. I was wondering about that. I cannot believe feeders are real, dude. Like we have gone too far. There has to be an end to possibilities there just has to be an end we've like made it past the point of like people

just making up new fetishes that are really fucking crazy and weird and like harmful and we need to go back we need to like backlog and also i know this is a constant joke online where it's like oh men need to go back to doing construction and like no more podcasters, no more this. But nobody talks about we need more whimsical jobs. Like where are the shoe cobblers? Where is like who's a shoe cobbler? Yeah, like I want stuff like that. Like, oh, somebody who goes into the forest for a few months and watches for fire.

Like we need more whimsical jobs. No more like, oh, like industrial, like go build a house. Like, OK, no, I want something whimsical jobs no more like oh like industrial like go build a house like okay no i want something whimsical like i need to meet somebody who i'm like wow your work is whimsical like making flower bouquets yeah yeah yeah like a florist i think that's actually one of the things i wrote down was like for the whimsical jobs i think people need so y'all feel free to take this oh like a chocolatier like no i don't no like i'm a chocolatier have you seen that one fucking creepy ass chocolatier i think he's like the garadelli like lead chocolatier or whatever bro he is so horny oh oh the freaky like european guy

no no i fuck with him that makes like the big like i don't like no that shit is mind-blowing and it's structurally like, it literally blows my mind. He's too smiley. Like, it feels very like. There's something that feels AI generated about those videos. That's what I'm saying. It's in like a pure white room. I fuck with him, y'all.

Like, he's rich from building chocolate. Wait, who are you talking about? The Ghirardelli like lead chocolatier. He's like the new guy. He's like the young hot guy on the block. Oh, no. And he is so fucking horny there's like a garadelli like museum where like there's 40 foot screens of him like making chocolate and like

licking it all sensually and there's like commercials of him like literally fucking chocolate on like the tv it's like crazy garadelli chocolate you're not talking about him right no i fuck with him i love him that's what's his nuts uh he made the dubai talk chocolate you're not talking about him right no i fuck with him i love him that's what's his nuts uh he made the dubai chocolate you're talking about him this is the guy i don't know i fuck with i hate him he's advanced he is freaky he smiles too much no he's advanced fuck i really wish i knew who you were talking about because the person you're talking about doesn't exist and you made them up i can't find them either i can't open tiktok you mean lint yes this guy oh it's lint lint it's not gara deli it's lint y'all he's like he wants to like literally it feels like they hired him like it doesn't feel like he actually be like like he's around making chocolate yeah

he's like the face of it or some shit like an ambassador yeah yeah he he's not bitch he's not a chocolatier this isn't his life he's like hey you're rising up the chocolate yeah no he's not really about it i don't like the smiley guy though like the guy who makes all the big shit he like oh it freaks me out it gives me the same feeling as like the people who throw the balloons full of water onto spikes like that's who i imagine is behind the camera is that guy like i imagine he's the one like throwing all the glass bottles those channels are making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year like by rolling bottles of dye off the roof.

And I'm going to start one. I want to watch them all. I don't care. I used to follow an account that used to post it, but it was a re-upload account. So I got scammed. Every time I would see their fucking videos on my timeline, it'd be the same three videos intertwined with one new video.

And they would get me every time because I would watch it. Yeah, that shit is advanced. Right. Right. one new video and they would get me every time because i would watch it yeah that uh that is advanced right Jesus. let's break the silence um okay so i've been talking about it for like the last three weeks but i cut my phone out of my life like for the most part and i did really good about it i was like logging i went from like logging 10 hours a day to like two and a half hours a day on my phone. Like I went absolutely ballistic and I have like a like 20 day fucking streak on like opening TikTok less than five times,

Instagram less than five times, YouTube less than five times, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Y'all, my life literally like mentally got exponentially worse without the internet like truly i'm not kidding like i really fell down like this like i i don't know if i was just like going through withdrawal and i was just like losing my fucking shit but the second because on sundays i was like this last sunday i decided that i was to like let myself scroll on TikTok as much as I wanted to. So I could like, um, just come up with topics. Cause like a way I do that is like,

I'll scroll through like TikTok, Instagram, or Twitter and just like, so I'll see something that spurs an idea so I can talk about it. Well, like I've, I've talked about this before, but when I cut soda out of my life like nothing changed like literally nothing changed other than the fact that i wanted soda like and i was like sad that i didn't have soda in my life like i didn't feel healthier i didn't feel like more cognitively cognitively aware i didn't feel less cloudy like i the only thing that i noticed is that like i soda was missing from my life it's literally the exact same thing when I cut like TikTok, Instagram, YouTube out. Like nothing changed.

Like if anything, like I became exponentially like more recluse and like I had nothing to ever talk about. So basically cocaine phone. That's that's basically what I'm saying. It's like there's kale phone, cocaine phone that's that's basically what i'm saying it's like there's kale phone cocaine phone kale phone is like it's literally just for texting and phone calls cocaine phone is like you utilize it to its fullest potential use every fucking app all that shit so that's my vibe is cocaine phone i've decided yeah i just don't know like i'm pretty sure i'm sure the rumors about my phone being bad for me

are true i believe you but i don't believe you i literally don't care i just i don't it's like people who cut out caffeine okay like you're fucking better i guess like what i just if it's something i've been doing for this long already i'm used to where my brain's at like getting rid of it i don't think it's gonna make me happier also it's like I've been doing for this long already, I'm used to where my brain's at. Like getting rid of it, I don't think it's going to make me happier. Also, it's like that ongoing joke you always say is like, oh, I'm taking less time with my phone so I can focus on my other screen. Yeah, no, literally. Because that's all that really happens is like you focus on something else. And yes, you can read because we are readers.

But I'm going to read a book all day, every day. No, no, no. I'm not a reader. I'm a breeder. I breed day, every day. Damn. No, no, no. I'm not a reader. I'm a breeder. I breed. I breed people. You breed animals? No, I plant my seed.

Oh, yeah. You're going to make a huge disaster. Wow. Make a rocket. There's only three wheels on this. Wait, if you let go, is it going to fall? I don't know. No, it's still stable. Are you sure go is it gonna fall i don't know no it's it's it's still

sure yeah you're but do you see how i like i spring into action to fix a potential problem that was like dad and very masculine yeah that was very masculine like it was it was like uh no one could see on the camera but i athletically like jumped to go grab kind of slow because the fall was a little slow it was actually very quick and athletic. It was actually very quick. Well, with you saying that, it made me think last night, I decided that we need conspiracy theorists to start working on the opposite end. The base of your conspiracy theorists can still be that the government is against us. That can still stand.

Actually, no, as I'm saying this, I'm realizing that this does exist, but it does more harm than good but i was going to be like instead of people saying like climate change is going to kill us blah blah blah blah we need to do this this is that why isn't it the opposite of like microplastics aren't real climate changes are real they want you to buy more ac and they want you to buy reusable bottles and they want you to buy all this stuff and actually we're all fine and it's all good but it's not all fine it's not all good it's not all fine and it's not all good well we saw alien romulus and that movie was lit i literally loved every goddamn second of it

and it feels like we're so back definitely by far and large the best one since Aliens. I'd say it goes Alien, Aliens, and then Alien Romulus. It's my top three. I liked it, but I decided if they made an Alien movie where the alien was coming of age and deciding how its actions affected other people and got close to the humans, then I would like it. We need a low-concept A24 Ali would like it we need a we need a low concept

a24 aliens i need like a francis ha of aliens like i need like the alien alien am i going to college what am i doing after college the perks of being an alien yeah like i need that because as we were watching it i am not like a big sci-fi person when i was younger i definitely enjoyed that like side of movies more because I had like an older brother who liked that stuff um but I just like it doesn't capture me and capture my heart and soul and I'm like I'm not a suspense person I'm realizing because the movie was really good but it's like with action movies and just things of that nature like I don't enjoy the suspense. If anything, I'm like,

oh, learn your lesson already. Like get to going, like get moving. Like I need to see character development in the next 30 minutes. And then you need to write a book. Why don't you write a book? Like write a book in the movie. I want to see that.

Like I want you to little woman this movie right now. And I just like girl stuff. I like shopping movies and like clothes and kitchen and stuff where's product yeah tampon i was gonna post this on my story the other day but i hate when i post something being ironic on my story and some bitch replies thinking they fucking ah ha me like are you come on i said i'm for real the devil who wears prada or whatever they say now and i wanted to say that on my story but i'm like someone's gonna reply and be like don't tell me you haven't seen devil wears prada bitch no we're 12 literally 12 steps ahead came out we're 12

steps ahead in every the uh the aliens are really sexually attractive in those movies i think we were talking about this last night, right? Yeah, no, I literally want to have sex with a xenomorph. They look good. Unironically, I would bang a xenomorph. I'd let it stick its mouth, head, tongue deep inside my gullet. Secondary mouth eating your butt. Yeah.

I'd feel fucking crazy. Well, Monistat, count your fucking days, Monistat count your fucking days monistat monistat you are going to hell monistat something's fucking wrong with you we need to take that off the shelf but also it works so i guess whatever it's a small price to pay your baby's gonna burn that's literally i experienced that was you i was burning your kitty was burning to catch you up monistat is a yeast infection medicine oh i know i know all about monistat by the way oh because you put it in your butt i don't put it in my butt i'm just i'm very up to date as far as like what women are if someone made me mad next time someone makes me

mad i'm gonna be like oh do you want me to make you a matcha with like a cold foam on it and i'm gonna put the monistat cream all on it like cold foam and sprinkle matcha on it and give it to them that's a good idea it wouldn't kill them though because if i'm putting it in my hole it can go in your mouth i have no idea like i feel like you could it's probably edible like yeah it must be it must be in the end of all times wait what's your beef with monistat bitch i got put on fucking antibiotics for my mouth and i had no idea that antibiotics lead to an increased risk of yeast infection so i woke up randomly itching burning itching burning itching burning and i was

like oh my god my life is gonna end because i've had bv i've not had a yeast infection or uti my prayers go out to any woman who experiences chronic yeast infections you are brave you are like you are you deserve a nobel peace prize because i think if a woman is experiencing a yeast infection she has every right to shoot someone in the foot who would like ask her a stupid question. Because you can't ask me a stupid question. Wait, you had a yeast infection? Literally my primal hole is burning. It's on fire.

Did you, you had a yeast infection? Dude, yes. I fully, oh. Gross. But doesn't Monistat help with that? Stay away from me. No, this is like, it was so funny funny like watching inya go through what she went through dude she was texting me at like 4 a.m like i thought i was gonna die i literally thought i

was gonna die so basically i was like okay i could go to a gynecologist but there were no gynecologists available like in the next fucking 24 hours or whatever and i was freaking out because i i am not somebody who handles being sick very well and at any sign of a risk like that when it's like a visible and physical like reaction risk i'm like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die my pussy's gonna like shrink up and fall off and like fucking fall off my body and like i need that i need that i need it to stay on me so i was like it's so hot i hear someone's vagina fell off it's on the floor um so basically i started to look into it and i was like okay monostat i can use that like that's a thing like cool i start looking it up and thank fucking god i looked it up on tiktok because it is common knowledge so they have a one day a

three day and a seven day treatment i was like i just want this shit to be over um i was like oh i'll do the three day treatment because i just want to get this the fuck over with thank god you didn't do one if i do the one day i think i would have killed myself actually bro the research i was doing because i was like damn like she might be having like a chemical like burn situation going on in her bronson but like every single person on like these subreddits that i was reading down like everybody was like the one is the devil like it's literally like putting hell up your pussy like i cannot believe it is legal to have that on shelves because there has never been a human who's gone online and been like actually i experienced no burning i was chill like it was fine no bitch that shit was literally like it is chemical warfare on the shelves of a walgreens a cvs a ride aid like it is literally

like that is it felt like i inserted mustard gas into my hole it was crazy so basically also it's just the craziest thing ever i thought about not saying this because i hate the whole like in my head i went back and forth because i was like oh my god i hate the whole like i'm so gross well but like we must this is raw and real like guys seriously like normalize period that's your platform like seriously let's normalize normalize the yeast infection bro we looked up like what a yeast infection looks like on a penis and it is the nastiest shit i've ever seen in my life like also you like like pee like cloudy like discharge and shit like hell no oh my god so gross get that shit away from me so i get the monistat i get the three day because i was looking up the one day and

everybody was like first of all it's like an egg you insert and like your body temperature melts the wax because it's supposed to like try to like alien Romulus because it's so it's so potent but I think the idea is that it like melts over time and like doses you like through the night and you have to do it at night

because basically what you have to do is you lay on the floor and you have to insert like like cream into your vagina so i was every night for three nights getting into the bathroom laying on the floor and inserting cream into my fucking hole and then running to my bed so that i didn't leak and fucking slip on it and die so the first night i'm not thinking it's gonna like feel like anything i hit up one of my homegirls and she's like oh yeah she was like do not do the one day and she was like do the three day or the seven day i would recommend the seven day and i had already bought the three day

so she was like oh then you should be fine and i think she was just trying not to like fear monger me oh what was that oh i stink yeah i. It smells like really bad in here. It's been smelling bad in the house for three days. And I did not want to do this on the episode, but you're asking for it. The Bronson, it's the tuna box. The Bronson is going crazy. No, it turned into the sardine can. Yeah.

No, it's the mussels. It's the oysters. It morphed into the mussels with like lemon juice and olive oil and like balsamic minus the lemon juice it's just balsamic and oysters it's ranch it's wingstop ranch it's canned muscles dipped in wingstop ranch but anyway oh my god it's garbage i'm thinking it's chill like josie was over and he was freaking out because his stomach started hurting. And like Josh was like, fuck it. I'll take you to the ER.

So they're like freaking out and figuring that out. And I felt bad. But I was like, dude, it's already 2 a.m. I need to just like put my fucking medicine in my hole and go the fuck to bed. Oh, my God. I feel like I have such a high pain tolerance. I was in bed literally like i was like like i literally felt like somebody released fire ants into my pussy like it literally felt like it was the most insane thing it felt like somebody poured baking soda into my hole like

it was so insane and i spent the like i could not fall asleep i took tylenol it wasn't helping i stayed up for an hour and a half in excruciating burning pain and it didn't help that i was looking on all these reddits and they were like yeah like so casual too which is crazy like it's become so casual for people to like talk about this i'm like this is not normal and yes it works but at what cost people were like yeah you know it gave me chemical burns but it's okay because i ended up going and getting antibiotics for that too and like i just have to like put a vision on my burns like some people are allergic to it and there's no way of knowing until you use it so i couldn't tell if i was

allergic to it and having an allergic reaction but the last thing i'm gonna do is go to the fucking er at 3 40 a.m with like cream in my hole like that's not happening i'm reading our messages because we were talking about josiah and then um i sent her like an article of like what i think's going on with josiah and then and you said i'm gonna start reading but i'm finally knocking out with my burning vagina also look into monistat because this shouldn't be legal i'm not kidding ha does it burn bad for everyone like the burning is so fucking bad it's literally like if someone was rubbing salt in an open wound but the wound is my vagina yes dude i said hell no bruh it gives some

people chemical burns how the fuck is this elite or legal um and then we just keep going and i started i i was like did you take one day or seven day because like for the love of god second you look it up everybody is like do not for the love of god don't take which is crazy because that means some people are just like oh i have a yeast infection like it's like their first time and they're like fuck it i'll just do the one day that's easy and they don't look it up or anything i And I was like, damn, honestly, respect. Like you are so above everything. Like you are above the law to go into a CVS and not even look it up. But I guess that makes sense because it's a medicine on a shelf.

So you don't think it's going to actually. Dude, it was it was like a nuke went off. Like it was literally like it was insane. Oh, my God. Did it get better with other doses or did the other days didn't burn like that like it was just the first day and i'm like oh my god yes it worked like i will say it fucking worked but at what cost then it might be worth it to just do one day get it over within one day since you don't even feel it the next two days that's what that's my platform

ladies do the one day no because everybody who did the one day was like i woke up and i couldn't walk like like they literally were like i was in so much pain like i couldn't stand up me after bottoming me after bottoming okay me after bottoming everybody was like oh yeah the next few days were awful like i was just in pain and every time i thought i was gonna die um so yeah that was something I had to deal with this past week. And I can't believe it. Like, I literally, we must do something. There has to be another way.

And I know there's obviously like oral antibiotics you can take for it. Sorry. There's what? Feet? Oral feet. But I just couldn't because i couldn't find a gynecologist and i had already like decimated my fucking hole so i was like at this point i might as well keep it going like i already started it just felt like um you know how sometimes when you have a like a scar or like from a cert when you have a scar from a surgery and some people will go back and get the scar like recut open so it can reheal that's what it felt like i had done to my like it was like i basically just burned my insides to kill any bacteria it literally felt like drano

like bleach like it literally felt like mustard gas there's no other way to describe it that's what i would assume mustard gas feels like if i made it and I had a cut on my hand. Did you ever make mustard, or did you ever make Drano bombs or the works bombs? No. Me and my brothers would get like two liter bottles and pour like an inch of the works in the bottom and then make a bunch of tiny tinfoil balls. So it's like increasing the surface area

and pour those in there and then throw it in our backyard. And it literally made like a bomb. Like it made, it's like increasing the surface area and pour those in there and then throw it in our backyard and it literally made like a bomb like it made it's like the chemical reaction like goes fucking crazy and it's like loud as fuck like we got like the cops called on us because we detonated one in our backyard no wait did i talk about this already when when i was at a new middle school there was a very popular kid that was like oh like he decided he wanted to be my friend and i was all excited and then we hang out i'm like oh this kid seems like very normal and cool like he's gonna introduce me to people whatever this is exciting and then he's like dude let's make bombs in my backyard and then he started i think he did that's literally me he made the fucking drano bombs and i was like i have to

leave dude this is genuinely very scary i was the kid making bombs like i would take apart fireworks to make like bigger fireworks and launch them in my front yard like i love and i would like never mind i'm not gonna tell that one but wait so if you have a yeast infection what did people in like uh olden times dude they died i i the vagina the vagina would fall off the vagina would just leave the body i wonder if like it would just like go away over time i don't know i'm not like a pro in it like they probably were doing some crazy shit with leeches or something dude they were probably rubbing fucking poison ivy on their cooch like that's literally like i

don't like i don't know maybe someone try that poison somebody try that yeah dude but also when i was looking into it i want to do more research but i'm like there has to be a better way there had there there must be a better way because all the comments on reddit were like yeah it hurt really bad i just went like dude it hurt so bad for some people on reddit they were talking about how they went in the shower and started clawing it out like Like it was so gnarly what I was reading. And imagine me, I was in bed and I was just like, I was writhing around in pain. I don't think I've ever felt that before.

Yeah, Drew was like, take it out. But it was already an hour and a half in. And I was like, honestly, at this point, it's finally, I wasn't even tired from just being naturally tired. I was tired from my body having to like, like, like just like tense up and like get ready for like more pain i don't understand how people had vaginas before computers like how did you care for a vagina before there was like you know modern technology i don't know

but i mean some people are still just buying monosat off the shelf without looking it up so they're still just doing it like i don't i don't know i don't know i wish i just i wanted to scream so bad it was really painful but i made it and now i'm back to normal and i hope that never happens to me again and i still have more days of my antibiotics so i'm terrified i am literally just like waiting got healthy i wish me and drew could take that pain from you no literally i actually do wish like see that that's a moment where i'm like if a man was experiencing this he would like the ers would be full full of men with monistat and their coochie women we make it work we get in the shower and we claw it out. And we like, I saw some people being like, yeah, I just took like an apple cider bath, like hot bath.

Like we make it work. Drew, we should put some in our ass in solidarity. I'm down. Or put it like, isn't like the tissue inside your mouth the same tissue as like this vagina? Yeah. Like what if we just put it in our mouth? But the thing is, I wonder why it burns. Like, why does it burn?

Your baby's gonna burn. No fucking idea burns like why does it burn your baby's no your baby's gonna burn that's all i could think about is like that was like this is like my baby's gonna burn my baby is burning um well the amount of people in the last episode i asked people to submit their like stories slash videos of them destroying bathrooms from when they were kids um the amount of people that listened to this fucking podcast and destroyed the school bathroom oh really there's a pipeline here like from bathroom destroyer to emergency intercom fan because i'm not kidding there was like a hundred emails from people like with proof of them like when they were 11 12 13 years old destroying bathrooms it

was un-fucking-believable and i was gonna like y'all are the monsters no literally i was gonna show some of them but i was like that's like a violation of privacy so i don't want to but there was this one girl that literally like cracked me the fuck up because she was like like you wouldn't even guess that i was the kid doing it and i was like no babe you are the exact archetype phenotype of the kid that i expect to throw toilet paper in the bathroom like also the fact that it was happening it was majority girls like yeah but i mean it's like i think we have majority majority girl audience but i don't know that like men let alone straight men are like exactly what I want to hear is girl.

Monistat vagina. Monistat vagina. But yeah, Monistat count your fucking days. You have monopolized, monopolized an industry of burning vaginas. What would it take for you to yell at a server like at a restaurant? Like I genuinely like I don't know if there's anything a server could do to me that would like make me let me let me yell at them like they would have to bring me like evil soup or something like dark like soup that makes me like i don't know like seriously

no if you're the kind of person who you take out your anger on a service worker you're gonna burn in hell like you're literally like what i felt in my vagina from monistat you're gonna feel that for eternity like it's literally gonna be burning all over your body like you're going to hell i think unless a server hit me i don't think i would yell even if a server like hit me that's what i was thinking i was like they literally could like physically assault me and i don't know if i would yell at them like i really i'd be like honestly respect you probably had a really bad day like i'm sorry well if they like brought me if i asked for a pepsi without ice and they brought me a pepsi with ice i am going to the kitchen and taking the oil vat and pouring it on them like and i'm fucking ruining their life like don't fucking play with me with my fucking food for real like you're over sis like tip gone first of all tip gone second of all if you have bags under your

eyes as a waitress or a server sis you're over like i want my waitress to be pretty and put together dude what's crazy is i literally i like because there are breeds of people who it feels like they go out of their way they go out to restaurants for the good time of yelling at a server like that's what some people it feels like their mission is to go to a restaurant it's just a room in a server drab boring sad lives like or they're like frustrated at their husband or frustrated at their wife and they just have to take it out on like somebody who's just trying to live their fucking life you are just like evil and rotten and dirty and like disgusting and fucking

filthy animal boots if you yell or like get mad at a server but i also never have bad experiences with servers and it's probably because i treat them like fucking people like i think that's the other thing is a lot of people who are rude to fucking servers you go in there already thinking you have this power dynamic oh you think you have the power because you walked into the tgi fridays bitch fuck you like literally you're such a fucking loser um but i don't tip though i don't believe in tipping yeah tipping is evil that's it extra yeah we don't tip i over tip because my mom is a server and she comes home and she talks shit explicitly about everybody who didn't tip her and now i have um an intense fear of the person turning around and being like this stupid fucking bitch oh so we got it we got the pregnancy contractions machine kai do you want to show your abs to the

camera is this your app review i can't show my abs actually i guess i could if it's for if it's to benefit women yeah it's so we can understand their pain a little bit more wait don't we have to put it on anya first to calibrate it yeah that's true so that she's like oh this is that's true and you said she didn't want to put it on Enya first to calibrate it? Yeah, that's true. So that she's like, oh, this is the... That's true. Enya said she didn't want to do it on the episode, though. Well, because I did it and it kind of tickles. And then it feels a little perverted.

I mean, we don't have to do it. No, that's okay. Let's give it a shot. So this is a TENS machine. Normally, I put it on my wrist and my hand goes like this. Or there's a mode where it literally my like wrist and my hand like goes like this or like there's a mode where it like literally makes me able to like finger really good it like it's the two middle fingers i think i don't know if you're supposed to use it for that the thing is i will say too

is i rarely get cramps so do you even yeah you don't really ever i don't i don't i don't get cramps i get like bad boob pain and like back pain and then it feels like somebody like it feels like a professional boxer went like this to my vulva and then it's just like sore and it feels like somebody like ran past me just went like dude the word vulva is gonna make me cry laughing every time okay it's on so i never know if it's going it's going wait do i have it too high up i don't know you tell me i think I have to put it lower. Really? Where are your ovaries?

I thought they were like here. They're here. Why? I thought they were like up in the guts. No, that's your belly. Well, every time I see like a graphic of a uterus and like. You get grossed out. Yeah, no.

It physically repulses me. No, it literally like for some reason I imagine it being like from the vagina all theses me. No, it literally, like, for some reason, I imagine it being, like, from the vagina all the way up. Oh, much larger. Yeah, the rib cage. It might be that large, dude. I have no idea. It's tiny boobs. I actually have no idea.

It just, like, starts to kind of tickle. Yeah, like, after, like, I think 15, that's when it starts, like, hurting down bad. This is just, like like somebody just made the ultimate scam of doing this with like a cool sculpt machine and convincing people it was gonna give them abs because all it feels like is like it's like tensing up the muscles in my stomach so i'm at 15 now dude i'm getting nervous i'm fucking scared it goes up to 50 i think it dude it just it really starts to just tickle.

I want to go up to like 30 first try. Damn, this shit's pulsing. This is low-key just a vibrator. I don't know if my stomach is doing that. So you're at 18 with literally no reaction. Okay, that's good to know. 19, 20. It's just kind of shaking.

Does it flex your abs? i'm at 21 i think it might only go up to 30 does it hurt dude 21 sucks really does it feel like a period yeah um i was saying to drew like from the times i have gotten cramps i am like a bad candidate to say but like from the times i have gotten cramps it I am like a bad candidate to say. But like from the times I have gotten cramps, it is similar. But like the weird like it goes like and like goes up. And that's not my experience with cramps. It's just like a dull like the dull pain you feel behind that like buzzing is real. Also, it like goes down to your legs, which I haven't had. Is there like an equivalence of pain, though?

Like getting stabbed with it. Yeah, yeah, because it is like... Okay. It is like doing the squeezing thing. Yeah, just put it at whatever... Yeah, 21 is like... I don't know that I want to go past 21, but I'll try 22. Did you just fart?

No, that was my phone. I'm just trying to go as high as i can so you guys have to go high okay that's it that's it so and you got to 20 i got to 23 all right i'll try oh my god it's like i got to 23 23 hurts but also this like it it shoots into your legs which i've never had that before but i know i do have home girls who like their period cramps are that bad. Like I have friends who get debilitated for like two, three days. My mom was like that. What?

Just imagine you like putting it on your dick. I made that joke. Okay. So Drew's at zero right now i wanted to control it but that's mean all right one two three four okay i'm starting to feel it dude it hurts so bad oh just shoot it up to 23 shoot it up to 23 what are you at right now wait what are you at what are you at i'm only at 10 wait this is actually crazy i want to see if you guys could get it up to 23 23 is when it started really this i don't know if this is good because it feels like it's like spasming my colon, which is

full of like turds. Like that's. Dude, I'm afraid I'm going to shit, honestly, when I'm up there. It doesn't hurt. It just is very abnormal. Wait, is this like what you were feeling? I can't tell. That is.

Yeah. Well, I had it lower. You have it kind of high. But I think, I mean, you don't have the parts in your body that I have. So like. I think you're fine to just have it there is it making your stomach like jerk yeah dude you're like shaking oh what are you at only at 14 bro okay let's get you to 23 oh it's like burning bro wait i don't know i think that's my colon

it doesn't hurt get to 23 please please please oh wait i feel it in my balls like actually i don't know if that's safe i felt it literally in my balls, I don't think it's like unsafe. What do you got? He's at 20. Shoot to 23. Shoot to 23. Ah! Wait.

Fuck, dude. Oh, my God. It hurt my balls so bad. Dude, that actually hurt my balls. Wait, did you get up to 23 permanently damaged my fucking scrotum yeah like right above you like next to your hip bone almost okay so it's on but you probably won't start feeling it until i'm scared i'm gonna shit like do you feel it yet like a little tingle a very small one hold my hand please

do you want me to control it yes please oh okay fuck that feels kind of good actually you should just shoot it up to 15. Oh, my God. Wait, you're squeezing the fuck out of me. Oh, fuck. Okay, okay. You want to keep going?

Yeah, keep going. Ew, Kai! Okay. Okay. Is that all right? Yeah, keep going Okay, I got to 23 so there's probably like a different mode where it's like vibrating Oh my god, that's what a fucking period feels like. Are you serious? Wait, go up. Go higher. Go higher. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Doing this like all day. Do you feel it in your balls or did I like cause damage? Well, what I will say is similar is like. Do you want it off? Just turn it off. Turn it off. Dude, oh my God. What I will say similar about it is like you can just be fine through the day and be like,

oh, my cramps are gone and then be out in public and be standing around and then just get a shooting pain like that and be like, oh, fuck, like they're coming back. I know that's what it was. My body was like vibrating down. Honestly, that made me respect women less because that shit's easy bro like again i am not the perfect candidate because i don't get like gnarly period pains but that like sudden like like deep dull like stabbing feeling is very i i get that more like shooting up my back so that pain that you're y'all are feeling is my version of period cramps i get the gnarly back pains where like i'll be standing around and i know i'm about to get my period because suddenly i'll have that sharp

shooting pain go up my back and it literally will just be like a dull like pain up my back i saw someone online that said it went to like 50 for them like that she was like oh it was this one oh like for them it feels like yeah yeah bro this one goes up like hella high we could like try it but i think um like it wasn't like like painful it was just like on like so uncomfortable like it wasn't like a shooting like stabbing pain vibe but even that like experiencing that randomly through the day i like i literally like kicked your like the chair like kicked your like the chair like it was like hinting my whole body up that shit was lit though i literally do know girls like i am friends with people who all hit up and be like okay we hang out they're like dude no my

cramps are like killing me i have to stay in bed i wish i had that excuse it makes sense oh my god it makes sense when you think about it because like your body if it's again back to the monistat it's like i didn't get tired from naturally being tired i got tired from my body having to endure pain and that's kind of like what a period feels like it's like it's just like draining you and depleting you of all your energy because your body is so focused on doing something and then you're just like groggy and you feel like shit and like parts of you hurt but you know what's fucked up is imagine that and your back hurts and you're bleeding profusively and you feel like shit and like parts of you hurt but you know what's fucked up is imagine that and your back hurts and you're bleeding profusely and you like your mindset is all fucked up on like who you are as a person and you're literally just depleted and the wage gap too and the what the

wage gap too on top of all that and hillary clinton not winning president oh my god don't don't even bring that i'm like actually not kidding i the pain i felt when trump won over hillary i'm like please guys vote please i can't experience that again i can't get so close to something hopeful and then watch kamala lose and then be like you know that like video that got memed of that woman like falling to her knees and like scream crying that's real that's funny but it's a part of me in 2016 i was like i do feel that that will be me in 2024 with project 2025 like literally i saw there was a comment on the last video that said this is a very brave comment kai men have daily hormone men have a daily hormonal cycle men have their periods every day so like whoa wait actually yeah i'm in my luteal phase right now you know what i think about that information

yeah what do you think about that put it in a book and sell it to somebody who gives a fuck damn all right that makes sense honestly yeah that is good information though because honestly when i'm feeling like not hanging out with the group it's probably because i'm in my luteal phase i wonder if our male periods are synced ours are for sure seeing they are because sometimes we'll start texting like manically to each other like last night our periods synced up we were freaking the fuck out i don't want to fuck the alien xenomorph all right well oh drew psyop oh yeah duh and media and media um this is the longest episode we've ever done

um y'all keep calling me pussy but y'all won't stick a dick in me oh that was it bottoms be six one talking about who wants me bitch the lakers that's from i smoke crack i don't let india turn on the heated seats anymore what you're not about to do is fry that fish in my car especially with a yeast infection so stupid girls break up with their boyfriend and start exposing the most random shit dj khaled was always saying amber um y'all gotta stop letting dudes spitting you

y'all gotta stop letting dudes you spit as lube it's flu season old corona coochie everyone is like are you far left or are you far right bitch i'm farting hey use that in your silly little edits guys as the first one and then it's like culture is like geisty shit after that with like a charlie xcx song that goes in the beginning like now you're directing it and this is like like fall girl vibes yeah fall girl video coming soon drew moji coming soon and yen i getting married coming soon and you and i boxing coming soon and new doppelganger video coming soon wow my media is alien romulus and that's it also no actually i have really good media but i shouldn't share that right what i have to share that with patreon have you guys seen janet planet oh yeah did you guys see janet no but i wanted to watch it in theaters but nobody wanted to get with me

it's good it's really good i mean it's like it's it's one of i put it in the category of like perfect days where i'm like this is one of the best boring movies i've ever seen was it like florida project vibes almost no it's like very introspective you're basically like watching like a kid in the 90s like live their life and in like the night oh the 90s is like a time period i'm literally we were all born in i had no experience of the 90s at all oh oh yeah you were born in like way after 9-11 yeah um yeah he was born in 2004 oh right right janet planet's good it is really good it's boring as fuck but it's good shut the fuck up that's serious it's 2008 now uh yeah i was born in 2008 bitch i'm

16 you're still 16 yes i feel like you're just moving your birth date like for and i feel like you're being a bitch right now oh shit well i'll watch that because I've been wanting to watch that. My songs are coming back to me. Jefferson Airplane, Where There Is Love, Patrice Ruchin, and been listening to Sabrina Carpenter. Yeah, she's a girl. Yes. Sabrina Carpenter. I saw a video of her.

She's very down to earth. Her and that chicken shop interview, I was like, oh, she gets it. chicken shop interview i was like oh she gets it she's like tap the fuck in like she knows stan culture like she's the girl and then also i saw a video of her on the street like um and like this tiktok live stream influencer had no idea who she was and the way she handled that situation was so down to earth and humble and i was like she's she's my pop girl she's my girl i love that there's been a summer of the pop girls i'm very invested let's keep it going for the fall and winter and just yeah keep making music and keep performing overwork yourself you should burn yourself out no literally my vibe wait who's the next pop girl like why do i i'm not

even joking why do i low-key feel like it's you and yeah no like in three years you might be a pop girl no i genuinely think that the thing is like i've said this on the podcast before and like the music i would want to make y'all would be like boom y'all would start tomato heckling me. Well. Oh. Yeah, someone. I don't know that like they love and respect the song. I mean, they're blasting that shit in the car. And that's a very rare thing.

Yeah. I have some some people who like the song. a lot which one and yes the remix oh the charlie one like unironically i'll tell you after it's so stupid um but yeah maybe one day one day i have to get my painting down i'm working on painting right now one day see i could i could do like a daniel johnston thing because you're fucking crazy no i have a good the fact that he crashed a plane with his dad is two hours did y'all know yeah he cried like his dad knew how to fly like private planes like small planes also his dad went to pick him up at one point and Daniel made the plane crash. So they were in a plane crash together.

Was he trying to kill them? Yeah, he was trying to like kill them. Oh, yeah. Don't get in a fucking plane with me because that sounds just like my vibe. Also, I'm not even being funny. I think it was my colon spasming. I think like it was. Oh, my God.

We just gave Drew another thing. No, no, no. I just can feel it like there's moments in my life my legs are still shaking yeah i'm like drew no wait no no no there there are moments in my life where my colon is so full of shit that i can literally see it physically protruding out of my stomach and what hurts is that exactly and literally no you can literally feel it when i'm not when i'm not flexing like if you wanted to you could feel my colon from the inside like right there i can feel it right i felt your colon

from the inside yeah of course all right period thanks for listening guys