Emergency Intercom - Popup world tour extravaganza & marriage counseling

Episode Date: November 17, 2023

drew pitches enya and ky his new app idea which sounds suspiciously like another very popular app amongs- ya nvm just watch. Drew locked enya out of their apartment because she was being evil and another very special surprise that I'm not going to reveal in the description Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Camera's rolling We're about to make Musa Movie Magic Musa Movie Magic

My name is Enya Umanzor And my name is Drew Phillips. You know why I was named Drew Phillips? Why? Because my dad was like, when he walks up to the plate when he's batting in the MLB, it's Drew. It just sounds so much better than like... Joe?

Yeah. Kai? Drew Phillips. Kai would be mad. He'd be like, Kai. Like, what? They'd be like why why are they saying why kai welcome to emergency intercom we're here we're here we're here in our house yeah nothing nothing weird is happening there's no strings hanging down over there that apparently y'all hate

the last episode somebody commented i love them but fuck these damn strings and it was like this cute little light i have that has a bow on it but only the strings were in frame sorry sorry we're not we don't have set designers and it's just like run by us and we're like doing all this like labor it's all grassroots something it's all grassroots yeah we're from the ground up like Like, we're just, like, really committed to making, like, something that'll make people happy. And apparently that's not good enough. So I'm just like, I'm going to fucking kill myself. Yeah.

Period. Huh? Well, let's take out these iPhone notes and take a look at what I have written down. Okay. I was eating a banana that one episode that someone got pissed at me I have written down. Okay. I was eating a banana that one episode that someone got pissed at me. Oh, it was bread. Bread.

You were macking on some fucking bread. It was crazy. It's because I was so hungover that I felt like if I didn't get anything in my body, I was going to like keel over. There's a trend there. It seems like you're hungover every single episode in some capacity.

I'm hungover. I'm fucked up. I in some capacity. I'm hung over. I'm fucked up. I didn't sleep. I got so high. I'm not going to tell you what I got high on. Yeah, exactly. Do you know World of Shirts? I know you know World of Shirts, Josh.

Someone made a TikTok account because Josh was like, oh, I'm going to slow it down. Thank you for calling me out. I am going a little too hard with alcohol. Respect, because he is, it's like diabolical um but he immediately fell back into it because that it's just not you can't just quit alcohol like that and someone made a TikTok account going through every single one of his TikToks that he posts and getting a time stamp and like recording and records like the amount of alcohol he's drinking so like from like starting at like 11 a.m he'll have like a tall boy of like uh mike's hard lemonade and then at like 4 p.m 11 a.m yeah and then at like 2 p.m he'll have a beer and then at 5 p.m he'll

have like another mike's hard lemonade and then taking notes yeah like and share take notes like and share me about literally like and share take notes like and share me about literally like the worst thing that ever happened to people alcoholism like okay yeah but so that account is pretty interesting but i'm also like y'all are preying upon someone why are you pocket watching my boy yeah y'all are pocket watching alcohol watching him bro like leave him the fuck alone but yeah they also like we're tallying up how much he spends on alcohol a day but i'm just like y'all need to stop lol cowing this boy he's like literally a person like it's so bizarre so guys you might find that the people you are making fun of are people you might find that

exactly exactly they might be real they they could be real they could be real people with real feelings behind them behind that iphone yeah well i came up with an app idea and a lot of a lot of people a lot of people would be scared no a lot of people will be using it yeah a lot of people will be using it um and it's i think it's genuinely a billion dollar idea like i have to say or just like blah blah blah blah blah my, blah, blah, blah. My name is Drew. I just say stuff and I don't like it at all. Oh, wow. Oh, my name is Drew.

My name is Drew. I just had this good idea. Ever thought about writing a book that's not real? I had a good idea. Dude, that is still one of the funniest moments. Oh, my name is Drew. When I greet Kai, I leave my hand on his lower back. Oh, my God.

I hugged him and then I put my hand on his. This is why we need hr because you are attacking him yeah you're accusing me of things i never did he would never do that what i didn't see you guys for like three weeks and then i see drew and then he hugs me and squeezes my love handles and goes i needed this well he was and it's my fault it's crazy because if i show love to the people around me i'm deemed evil but if i don't i'm deemed evil so there's no winning like if you didn't touch car like that he'd be like i miss your touch you're a warm and tender touch so what do you really exactly um but anyways the app idea

so i was just sitting there thinking i was like damn there needs to be an app for this but not for me but for other people obviously But I'm thinking what needs to happen is there needs to be an app that like, okay, it tracks you and like the location you are at all moments of the day. And like all the other users. It's almost like a social app. It tracks all the other users and their locations.

And what we could do is hyper specify that app for gay people so gay people can meet each other and like hang out and go on dates and like love each other. And do things like that and not do S. Like avoid S at all costs. I like, what is it called? Yeah, what would that app be called? I'm thinking about calling it like Diner or something like that.

Like you go eat at a diner. Oh, you could call it like Finder. Like, oh, I'm finding a friend. Like Finder. Like, oh, you could call it Frender. Yeah, Frender. Frender. You could call it Backshots too.

Maybe. I just said it's not for sex, bruh. Oh, sorry. I just said that. And then there's another app idea that I can go into about like posting pictures online. Sorry, they're like scrubbing the fuck out of the window and it's like so violent. But we could also like make an app where like it's like a social app. Like I don't know if this is a thing yet, but like you can post like pictures of yourself online

and you have like a profile where people can follow you and you follow people. And there might even be like a discovery page and like a place where you can message people privately. And then there's comments and likes and stuff like that. Wait, that like we have, that's Instagram. That one we have. The other one, the other one I was on board with you because we don't have that. But I was thinking the other one we could do it for straight people because gay people

get everything now. Yeah, you can call it front shots. Oh. Missionary, we'll call that one a missionary shot. We'll call that one missionary. Gay people will call it finding love and peace. Cool, did I miss a spot? Yeah, I'll pluck those.

I'll tweeze for you. Oh, did you do it to contour your jaw? Yeah, to make my Kyai bella why have we never talked about talked about that kai bella kai bella whoa that is crazy yeah and it's like kai bella that's the vibe it's just something i've been thinking about that's really interesting i'm like fucking tired of this set i hate this set i hate sitting here what are we gonna do about it i'm just gonna move should we just move like this boring we should just move to the living room or something like i just like um that might be hard but sure no dude like watch it'll like literally like kai can cut

it like it'll take like three sec seconds yeah it'll take like three sec yeah it's like three seconds oh yeah i was just like sitting in that fucking chair like how did you build this so fast that was weird it was pretty easy honestly like you'd be shocked what women can do when they put their mind to it oh we let we let Kai sit in camera. So if you start to feel uneasy and you're like, there's a presence in the room. I don't know. Kai, if you can, just like swivel so your whole back is turned to the camera. Just like, yeah, I don't want you to be like. We have other chairs in the room, too.

You don't have to be like. Let him sit there. You're sitting like the most straight up I've ever seen any human sit on a chair how do you sit cool like love yourself you're supposed to man spread take up your space you deserve this space just as much as everybody honestly thank you we want to see an aura ominating from your

balls ominating what the hell is ominating I actually don't know how to sit it's not the best chair i when i was building it i was like this doesn't feel like the most ergonomic chair but i didn't have to you know i i had it was crunch time this in this chair it really does feel like i'm giving you like couples therapy you know let's try it out let's try it out okay uh how was this last week guys i'm fucking horrible she's a bitch i hope she burns and how i hate her dude okay cool how do you feel about

what he just said i mean i'm shocked and i'm taken aback because i thought we had an amazing week we made love every single night and he it was difficult to keep going he had many moments where he couldn't keep it up but you know oh there's pills for that now and i've been going to my church group yeah i've been going to my church group a bunch on the grinder app yeah well no on finder finder app wait the craziest thing no i'm not even gonna get into have you guys talked about just as your therapist have you guys talked about the fact that drew's gay and maybe that is what is oh we pay you to sit here and make up oh my god oh my god i'm sorry could you please come back can you they come back please i don't know what i said we could keep going oh my god me i'm just i'm trying to help you this is like an existential

problem in your relationship no honestly now he's still going he's still going you should leave the sound that the mic made when i hit the ground although i wanted us to cut and i wanted you to come back and like vote back in that would have been crazy um yeah so to get back into it um in the last episode to get back to it, in the last episode... Okay, to get back to it. Okay, perfect transition. Can I fucking live? Can I fucking live and breathe? I don't know if I'm allowed to. Okay.

Right, right. Okay, so in the New York episode, I posted a picture of my screen time. And in that screenshot, at the very bottom of it, I didn't crop it correctly. Wait, what was in there? Actually, it's not even that fucking big of a deal because it's the Grindr app and it's fucking for churches. And y'all should be praising me and thanking me that i was on the grinder app for 13 hours 12 hours whatever you were dedicating a lot of time to god it's because you had a hard week you needed some relief some stress some pleasures and you find pleasure in god you can't do anymore bro

you can't live your life i feel like i'm attacked every day for being a Christian. Yeah, I mean, it's hard. Like, we're just living in a day and age where it's more normal to follow your zodiac sign and not God. It's like, what are we even, we're headed towards dark times. And my friend can't even use the app that finds him peace and love and fills him with so much joy. Fills me. Like, fills me deeply with joy getting stuffed with joy yeah well should we talk about how drew locked me out of the house drew actually we had a bad week because he fucking locked me out of the house because he fucking hates me now i was over um i wait no we need to

preface this because this space in general has been like very stressful for us and i was falling asleep very early but now take it away okay so if you haven't noticed we're in the pop-up space uh by the time this episode comes out we're headed into the last weekend of it being around so if you're in la you should oh my god you should pass by um hopefully by then there will be throw up and piss all over the floor from the fans and if you little fucking rodent steal something we have armed guards that will shoot you Motherfucker, so don't touch shit. I see all your little snarky comments by the way guys now that I'm on camera I am on my phone, but I'm taking notes like I'm working. I'm not like mmm. I'm not like on Instagram I mean playing we're gonna

zoom in he's on friender too that app is spreading really quick um the truth is spreading really quick anyways we've been here every day like we've been planning this for a really long time but then like once i had to go into motion um i don't think we took into account the stress that it was of like setting up a space moving everything we are freaks and we have control issues so we were like we need to do everything on our own because we're freaks and we need help and we should maybe take medication so our life is easier but that's neither here nor there and we've been going home and knocking the fuck out and going to sleep super early and yesterday i had committed to going and meeting up with somebody for the first time. I was like, I need to just do it because I need to make it so that I can hang out with this person in like normal casual settings.

And it doesn't have to be like the big scary thing that adults do where it's like, yeah, let's get dinner and like meet for the first time. Yeah, no. Never that. Never that. Meet me. A.T. Give me your meat. Sit with that.

Oh, I am. I did nothing wrong. Oh, I feel good. I love myself. But my dinner with this person ended really early. Like earlier than I thought. Thank God it ended earlier because you would have actually been fully comatose by the time i got home on the way home i realized i didn't have my keys because we had to go drop off a car but drew just had my fucking car he had my car and

my car keys because he doesn't let me have my own car on fridays because he knows that i'll go on the street and i'll get my shit ran through and he doesn't fucking trust me anymore so he hides my keys so i have to sneak out my window and take an uber but getting back inside is the worst part and it's really difficult and how is this my fault because you're taking my fucking keys you've proven time and time again that you can't handle having your car on the weekend and this is what happens well i didn't even do anything i met up with like one person one okay five there was five involved and it was on video and she's lying again and we're posting on ig stories today so make sure you go and interact ask questions about it and tap the fucking anyways i fucking started heading home at 10 15 and i called drew his shit

went straight to voicemail because this motherfucker apparently doesn't pay his fucking phone bill actually it's because he uses his goddamn iphone all day and then he if he doesn't put on the charger it's not gonna be useful and i headed home i think i called drew 40 fucking times whoa whoa don't touch tuna box on camera oh my god fuck off motherfucker that's her name everybody was always like what's her name. Everybody was always like, what's her name? Well, no, that's her tuna box. She doesn't have a name yet, but that's her tuna box. What the fuck are you talking

about? Gilbert Godfrey. Personified. This is Gilbert. This is his gunk. Yeah. Does it have a penis on that one? Why don't you take a look? You don't want to know. You're going to be very frightened when you take a look. It is to size. Watch your fingers.

It bites. Watch your fingers. No, it literally does. It has a mouth. Okay, sick. I will look at that later. Once the camera's off. It's like Five Nights at Freddy's except the private parts of these dolls eat the people.

Oh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah. Because we believe in punishment for pleasure. Totally. We're very Catholic over here. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, Drew's building an app for people to go to churches. I love that. You should actually make it and like it could just be like a really low rendered out app. But it should be Churcher. You would get in so much trouble. Churcher. app but it should be church or you would get in so much trouble um anyways i called drew 45 fucking times probably like that's my assumption i called him so many times he wouldn't wake up went through none of them went through on his phone so my phone just makes it look like a crazy

person i literally felt like someone's crazy ex waiting outside after going out for a drink and being like let me in this video is literally me to do but she um called me 75 times but like please just let me have sex one more time that was me to drew last night trying to get into our own house but like in the most unlucky way my phone i never let my phone die for some reason and my phone died last night right before i went to bed so i put it on the charger and iphones if you put them on the charger dead they don't automatically turn back on so my phone was just off. And so you called me 150 times. I literally called you 25 times. Yeah. Crazy, crazy girl.

I called him from 1015 to 1045. And I think what woke you up, like this didn't wake you up, but I got a video of it. And like, we're going to try and crop this so that people don't see the front door so they don't kill us and murder us. I got this awesome picture of me sitting at the front door because I was so cold. And I also had to eat and I was so fucking hungry. I was cold.

I was hungry. I was scared that I was going to get killed because the murderers come out at night to play and kill me. And I think what woke you up subconsciously was I had a huge brain moment and I connected to my home pod and the TV and I blasted Iced Spice for like 25 minutes. Not 25 minutes, but I blasted it for like 10 minutes on and off and I kept starting it over and over again because I was like, this has to wake him up. But he says that's not even what woke him up. I really, like what happened is I got home

and like, even in my head, I was like, fuck, I need to go to the gym because the hot water at our house is being shitty right now. It's only hot for three was like fuck I need to go to the gym because we're the hot water at our house is being shitty right now it's only hot for three seconds so I need to shower yeah and so I was gonna go to the gym and like it's big it's our own fault but ironically we pay our bill for the first time in two years and we don't have hot water like our shower is broken but we've been too busy to get it fixed so every day I subject myself to a cold shower before bed yeah it's hell and then now it's like 63 degrees in our house when we wake up so i like had to take

a cold shower this morning and like i swear to god my nipples like almost like fell off my fucking body like they were so hard they could have ripped through like a shirt but um what happened is i just like no wait he had something to say about that i was just like like how hard were they like how hard did they get at their hardest like how hard did they get diamond diamond have you guys experienced any like dopamine boosts no no well joe rogan says that like your dopamine just like skyrockets i have never been so much closer to death i literally i close my eyes and in my dreams i'm battered and bruised wait i'm so confused by this conversation right now oh because of cold showers they say cold showers like like lift your spirits no no literally like when i get out of the shower i actually for like

five seconds contemplate killing myself because i'm so cold like i'm just like oh it'd be easier to be dead literally gets down to like 62 degrees we just started running the heat finally but we woke up one morning and it was 62 degrees in the house and we were like this is no way to live yeah we must turn on the heat this is crazy crazy. And then it had the cool hot air smell that kind of fills up when it burns all the dust. It's like, oh, it's finally time

to get cozy again. Oh my god. Have you ever been comfortable? Have you ever felt comfortable all the time? Look how comfortable I am right now. You were saying

what woke you, your nighttime plan for locking me out of the fucking house. I fully entered REM sleep. And I was only asleep for like max an hour. Max an hour, that's my drag name. That's fucking bad.

I just can't win. No, I was asleep for like maybe an hour total. And I think what woke me up was, one, being, like, hella fucking cold. Two, my TV show was really fucking loud. And three, right before I went to bed, I, like, ordered Burger King because I wanted the orange burger. Dude, that was the most jarring part is getting there and standing outside realizing not only am I locked out But I'm hovering over the stinkiest bag of food and I was like it was the orange burger from Burger King Can you actually blame me? I didn't know they had one. I was texting Sabrina

I was like bro. I'm literally fucking locked out and like this is the worst day. I'm like so tired. I'm so stressed out I need to wake up early This is a nightmare and then I was like I just feel like I'm like going through it I was like, but I'm not alone because drew ordered burger king so that motherfucker is in a bad place like to get those postmates earlier early enough in the day that your options are endless it was like 8 39 yeah you have to look up burger king because burger king isn't like you don't open postmates and burger king's at the top like i just wanted the orange fucking burger and the chicken fry what is that is it orange flavored don't open Postmates and Burger Kings at the top like I just wanted the orange fucking burger and the chicken

fries what is that is it orange flavored or orange color no it's orange color with black sesame seeds all over the top and it's supposed to be like spooky Halloween and it's ghost pepper and jalapeno oh anyways I think subconsciously Christmas time

um I keep cutting you off I'm so sorry this is the last time but when we were at the concert i keep cutting you off i'm so sorry this is the last time but when we were at the uh the fake concert and me and josie were getting a drink i did my fake laugh and i finally got a real reaction out of someone oh yeah and like hit josie and he goes oh and i was like what is there something wrong with my laugh and he was like no it's like it's almost like an alarm and i was like that's a rude thing to say about someone's laugh and he was like no it's like it's almost like an alarm and i was like that's a rude thing to say about someone's laugh and he was like no come on like i was like okay i'm just never gonna laugh again and then he just was like laughing and i was like something's wrong with you yeah it was a really jarring moment and also at the faye webster concert i was moshing

we'll insert the video here Oh my god, you need to stop. wonderful moment uh so you decided you hate yourself so much you were gonna get the spooky burger on november 15th yeah yeah yeah so i wanted a month after they're expired it has like jalapenos on it all that shit ordered at 5 30 it said it was gonna get there at like 9 10 actually we can check what time it got there um but i think said consciously in the back of my brain i was like fuck i need to eat dinner and this is like my dinner so i need to eat it sat outside for like an hour i still ate it but for some reason i took one bite of that fucking burger and then just like vomited for like five minutes and in you wasn't home at this point she had gone back out to

do whatever the fuck cheat on me or some shit like I don't know what the hell I gotta get my line but I was like throwing up and I texted and I was like dude I'm like so sick like I don't know if I'm gonna be able to go tomorrow woke up fine after I threw up I felt like literally the best i've ever felt in my life ate the entire burger king meal and then i ate an entire salad or not like half of a salad and then a little cup of mac and cheese so i ate two dinners last night oh my god lucky you at like 11 you know what it was it was because your stomach you were on that app that you shouldn't be using anymore and you threw up the gay demons so that's why you felt so good after because you were back to being my man my man my straight man my man my man my man but yeah drew fucking locked me out and i literally i was like this is

pushing me i feel like that's what dogs push me to the edge they like all my friends are dead they'll like be really sick and they'll throw up, and they'll be completely fine, and then eat the vomit, and then continue. That's what Drew did. His Burger King clothes, and he really wanted that fucking burger. I love vomit. I have a bunch of notes. Before you go into the notes, do I look cool right now you look epic um in camera you look probably like scared really somehow no no you look good bro okay

i look you're killing it because i'm kind of trying to like have like one arm back yeah you're trying to be chill it's a vibe you're like your legs are a little stiff how do you sit at dates how do i like do you get like extremely conscious of your like fully like like this just staring so you'll be the killer at your dates no i'm being present when you like that like being up in their grill and shit overly present in your own body so you can't even hear what the person is saying oh my freaking god you're so fucking beautiful like oh my freaking god i would love to make you smile all night long because that smile freaking crap like seriously like holy freaking crap okay but you would look better without makeup can i just say like oh my god like literally what the

hell like sorry to interrupt you but you holy crap you look amazing tonight oh my freaking gosh i need to sit down i am sitting down already i gotta call the waiter over here to get a picture of us together i need to remember this night for the rest down already. I got to call the waiter over here to get a picture of us together. I need to remember this night for the rest of my life. I got to show this to our kids. Kai's an incel. No, I'm not. I'm not. Yeah, he's an incel if your name was Cell because he's all up in you.

Yay. Hey. I saved you with that. You did. Kai's got Riz, unspoken quiet riz I have riz Actually speaking of this Relationships are so fucking funny

Because some of y'all look so goofy standing next to each other Like sometimes I just look at couples and I'm like look at you That's not I don't claim this bitch You look goofy because your husband's gay Tell him you're not. I'm not gay. I'm not okay.

Yeah. Okay, I believe that. I'm not gay. I'm not okay. I am not okay. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh.

That was good. You're wow. Okay. Oh. That's good. You're a nasty man. I'm a nasty woman. But yeah, I saw a picture of like a couple. With a president who looks like he bathes in Cheeto dust. Wait, what is it? Obama's not my president. Oh.

Fuck. Oh, but I would vote for him. Like is that girl from Canada who she like made a rap about obama whatever i have no idea you're flopping right now i don't know what the hell you're talking about well i stumbled upon uh pimple chicken and cum chicken all in one night if anybody wants to see what that looks like wait what what are you even saying come chicken okay so what are you talking about watch also where can i get some tell me that's not pimple chicken okay so it looks good right it looks like delicious and

it's like okay like what's he gonna do is that butter listen to the way he says butter right because i'm gonna be using this ingredient, butter. Butter. Look at that. Oh, like popped pimple chicken. And then. Okay. Actually, I was like, what the hell are you saying? You're exaggerating. But no, you're right.

It's nasty. It's quite literally. Pimple chicken and cum chicken. Because I'm going to be using this ingredient butter. And to run this experiment it's pretty simple. I'm going to be injecting as much butter as I possibly can inside of this chicken breast. The more

the better. To be specific a whole pound of butter. Not being cheap. The more holes the better. I kept poking until there was no way I can add more i'm determined to make this chicken breast exciting i want the second one the second one so bad um okay something i've been seeing a bunch of is like these like videos that like are obviously fake like the most fake shit ever it's almost like they're they're recorded on sets

they're paid videos like they pay these people to make them and they're like of like situations like um surprising his wife um coming home for the military early or something and like things like that and like or like teacher yells at student and like they scream at each other and like the teacher or the student takes up for themselves and like it's just like that and um sorry what was i thinking true your hand is like what the i was like i was like i can't do i can't put my hand anywhere i want to put it and now your hand is going to stink all fucking day because tuna box perma stenches

like instinctually just went back to the pussy part of the doll the pussy part of the bird they put the pussy part of the bird in KFC I swear to fucking god

they put the pussy part of the bird in KFC and Chick-fil-a gay like they did they did something different with that chicken what was the second one Chick-fil-a

oh okay I heard you say something else he still has his hand there dude he's cold you can't just let him get a little fucking warm damn oh my god i thought you'd be on my side what the fuck was that you like you looked so scared yeah what else is new i'm filled with terror. What was I saying? Oh, the fake videos. So there's, like, hella fake videos online. And then they have, like, millions of likes. Like, not views, likes. Tens of millions of views.

Millions of likes. And then you go into the comments. And every single comment believes it and has, like, 50,000, 60,000, 70,000 likes. Everyone's got something to say. Yeah, literally. Like, shut the hell up challenge. but every comment like believes it and i'm just like damn dude like misinformation like really is like going to be the fall of the american empire like this is crazy that like it's not even like going to see a movie empire since when are we calling it that it's tea it's literally the tea of the situation and all of that but

um yeah it's like the acting is like busted yeah they're beat as fuck like it's she'll be like oh my god but then you think about that and then like these are people who can't even communicate to their friends and be like hey what you did hurt me so it kind of makes sense

that like they see them they're like dude i've never seen somebody had to cut off another fake bitch like that's their vibe is like they're like i have to cut this bitch off no speaking stand bitches who lie yeah like she cheated on my her partner with my boyfriend like fake bitches i think that's like kind of a valid one though like you're one of them you're one of them me having sexual relationships with your mother has nothing to do with me cheating on you you told me i was allowed to do that because i'm keeping it in the bloodline and as long as it's your mom or your sister i can do it that's what you said and you said especially if it's your

sister because it's just like you but a girl help your guys's relationship is beyond toxic i've never i my other clients are will smith and jada pink i was gonna say because we're brutal like they say they call they call themselves like i think brutal like it's brutal and beautiful logan paul jake paul rupaul the Jake Paul, RuPaul The Paul Brothers Where did that come from? You just said RuPaul And I thought of RuPaul's stilt skin Rumpelstiltskin RuPaul's drag race It came to me

Someone made a picture of that And it just deepened my fucking psyche For some reason Well I can't stand bitches who drive the speed limit It literally it pisses me off it should be illegal to drive it really no it needs to be illegal to drive the speed limit if you were on the highway and you were actually doing 55 i'm gonna start throwing rocks at your back windshield speed limit in fact i'll go 54 i can just in case i get a little tired and I accidentally, you know, accelerate. Oh.

Well, you just shouldn't be driving tired anyway. So, actually, you're a fucking menace to society. Everybody gets a little bit tired. I don't fucking get tired, sis. Never that. I stay up. Never that. Nah, you'll never catch us tired.

Oh, me and this girl, we don't get tired. Never. Drew just ate a burger and passed out last night. Yeah, if Drew has any morsel of food he will pass out i watched him take a small bite of a banana because he was scared that if he ate the whole banana he would fall asleep this motherfucker needs to go to a doctor like it's like actually and he was also he was eating the banana secretly because i we were in here like filling it out and doing like our shit.

People don't need to see me eat a fucking banana. Oh, I've seen you eat more than a banana. What? Now you're... You're actually pissing us off. You're actually pissing us off telling us we're toxic. You don't need to leave! You guys hired me. You guys hired me, okay? Do I look cool now?

Now that I'm more relaxed? I'm going to fucking fire you and throw you on the street. I'm going to go in your house and throw everything out the windows. It would be cool if you just threw me through this window. As like a performance. There's like a few people I could like fully pick up and throw out windows. Like people underestimate how strong I am. Yeah, well, women are super fucking strong.

I'm a bad bitch women are beautiful and strong like unironically women are beautiful as fuck and vaginas look good too guys right dude pussies look amazing don't say that word damn you got up there that sounded good all right well wait wait wait i'm fucking done no i'm not talking anymore i'm done i'm done for the episode i let out my last cry my last cry for help and nobody fucking listened per usual i'm always like help me help me oh fuck i can't believe i literally forgot about this but on the way home from dropping off the truck last night we had to rent a truck for this shit and it was like three hours away and it was hell on earth and we had to like drive there and back like 18 times it was just like the worst fucking vibe ever but on the way back i

dropped in you off at her little dinner with her friend because she's not allowed to have her car or her keys and he has to make sure the friend i'm seeing i'm not having sex with i have to vet them every time. That's crazy. I dropped her off and literally five minutes away, I see a dead body in the middle of the street. And then I see a police car going this way and a police car going that way with lights shining everywhere. I'm assuming looking for the person that did it.

But I literally saw a dead body or what I'm assuming to do be a dead body because no one was helping this person they were just lying the killer was passing yeah yeah i was revisiting the crime scene yeah i was revisiting the crime scene because he it's too it's too hard to get to central park and like dig up the bodies that he always talks about central sea park why did you choose central park i've always kind of wondered that because i love central sea oh i didn't think about that i mean yeah that makes sense i think you started that before but i guess in a way you predicted it no i've been like a really early central sea fan like before all you like i've just known him different. Since he was like in like Europe or wherever the fuck

he's from. Like eating chips. Fucking beans and tomatoes. Yeah. I love, I literally love that joke so much that like the British eat like

their Germany's still flying overhead dropping bombs. Like their beans and their fucking tomatoes and their blood. Like they just eat blood every morning. Like you're crazy. Oh yeah, it's like a sausage filled their blood. Like they just eat blood every morning.

Like you're crazy. It's like a sausage filled with blood. Yeah, it's crazy. Honestly, I ride for that breakfast. I think that's a good breakfast. Really? Both times we've had it together, you were like, this is gross. Well, because I feel like we've only had it at the worst places ever.

Like we had it with Elsie and she was like, this is like a worst example of it. But I have had it once and that it was good at one spot. Can you please never touch me again? It was in Paris, guys. You just have to go to the root of the food you want. Paris food sucks dick. Yeah, it does. It really does.

Dude, what the fuck? Stinky short strip. Beans on toast is too lit. Like I used to eat refried beans spread on toast. That shit is so fucking yummy. Oh, look. Kai's on there. Am I on there?

Wait, what is that? Is it actually me? No, that's not you. It's Josiah. That's not you either. What is on here? Was it Silent Hill 2? It's really mean, but I'll show you after because it has to start over yeah it

was me being malicious i was expecting to see like i was expecting to see like a very cool we saw kai driving yesterday it was a dude that looked just like you like it was scary i tried to get a picture of it the amount of guys that look just like me, it's insane. Yeah. I get tagged every day on TikTok. I get tagged in like 30 things. And it's the same guy. It's all the same guy. Is it the perfume guy?

I'd be so fucking pissed if I'm just living my life and people are tagging this person I don't know. Dude, there's so many iterations of me on TikTok that I've gotten tagged in over the last month. It's fucking insane. Damn. One of them is this kid that dances really well well you dance good i do dance um incredibly yeah you see the butt crack that was out there's every once in a while there's just like an ass hanging out oh like somebody passed with their butt crack out like no i'm here yeah okay um all right you want to hit your psyop corner i only only have one psyop corner today, but... Oh, my God.

I'll just say this. I don't believe in babies. I think babies aren't real. I think there's only three babies that are real because I don't see babies other than the three that I see. That is true. It's rare to see babies just out and about, but I guess they're babies,

so, like, how often are you just, like, taking them to, like, the hookah bar? Because that's where bar because that's where we hang out so usually we wouldn't see a baby yeah we love hookah we're obsessed with going to hookah lounges together we get a bottle we get the girls out with the fireworks and we're like i've been like fading away slowly through this podcast like I feel crazy okay Drew Siop Corner Drew Siop Corner Drew Siop Corner Drew Siop Corner All of this for one?

Daylight savings is weird it's only 740 but it feels like I'm going to kill myself and then die alone. Wow. Can I make up a sign? Oh, fuck. Like, just freestyle it?

Yeah, go for it. Okay, okay. Every squad has an enigmatic, magnetic, beautiful queen, Enya, and an incredible ball of energy, King, Drew, and a stupid jester that should be left out in the rain and maybe pushed in front of a car no no no no like a beautiful comfortable like wears a white t-shirt guy okay confident so happy that he found it in himself to leave the house because if i looked

like him i wouldn't die in a white t-shirt i'll fucking take that i'll take that thank you guys your bravery astounds me and you will never not be seen you have so much confidence like if i had even a sliver of your confidence i'd probably be a millionaire if i had a sliver of your confidence i'd be up there wow guys thank you so much you so much. But instead, I'm here having to share space with you. Oh, my God. Thank you. It's me watching it back when I edit it and seeing what you're doing. A tear falling down your face.

You print it out frame by frame and your whole wall is covered in it. If you spin fast enough, you just watch it play. You know what Drew's whole wall is covered in? Cum. Cum, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cum. I knew you were going to say that.

Look me in the eyes. I can't. It's hard for me. All right, we got to go because I got to mack on that tuna box before we get to like. Oh my. Fuck. We need to do a media. We need to do a media.

Media of the week. I've just been watching a lot of South Park. That's like literally all I do. I started watching Jindy. We haven't hung out in a while, but I got a Stizzy and I just hit my Stizzy. That's her media. My media is I chief on my Stizzy and I watch so much fucking South Park.

That is equally super sad and super sick. Yeah, it's like I need it. If I don't get it, I will die. My media is Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Anything he's ever done. Wasn't expecting that. I've been watching Gen V. It's like a spinoff of The Boys, and it's goaded with the sauce.

It's pretty cool. I really, really enjoy it. Why do you talk like that? Oh, fuck off you talk like that? Oh. Fuck off. How about that? And then I like Interface Corrupted by Sugars.

I like this. Oh wait, why don't we do physical media? I just came to fuck, but she want me to eat that. Sam. I like physical media. Let's do that more. No. What are you doing? Oh, those are our pop-up shirts that we have in the space um but yeah thank you guys so much for watching if you're around la and you want to

come around and look at our physical media media uh help uh help uh um um fuck if you've ever wanted to touch our stuff And I don't mean our private parts Come by the Heaven Gallery We have art We have media We have love We do And

Yeah Alright And yeah. All right.