Emergency Intercom - Sinister Energies

Episode Date: December 31, 2021

Today we dive deep into our psyche and discover where our true morals and ethics lie by answering some 'would you rather' esque questions... you may view us differently after this.. seriously sinister energy 😐 Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I've been getting these insane... Wait, have we started the episode? Yeah, we've started. I've been getting... We started, right? I've been getting these insane fucking spam calls that are, like, actually the scariest thing I've ever gotten, but I don't know if it's going to work.

Um, also welcome back to this episode of emergency. Yup. Actually. Yes. Wow. Who was stealing from you? Which one of you was stealing from me? I haven't stolen anything as of recent.

Fire! Everything. Every demonic attack. Every person that rose their tongue up against you. Every person that tried to bring you down. And every demonic attack. Y'all praying for my downfall. They're praying for my downfall. I need you now to begin to shout fire. Fire. I need you to shout and scream fire. The fire.

Fire. Can this apply to me too? Fire. You can join. Fire. You have three seconds to clear it now. Fire. Fire. Fire. Can this apply to me, too? Fire. You can join. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire.

Fire. Fire. Oh, my God. Wait, I got money for shit yelling fire? Okay, that's enough of that. But, yeah, I just want to let you guys know that I've been getting the most absurd fucking phone calls ever. Like, y'all wonder why I'm not okay? It's because I get shit like that that triggers, like, some schizoaffective disorder in me where I'm like, wait, oh my fucking god, like, are people actually trying to attack me?

Are people actually stealing from me in my day-to-day life? Like, because why do I believe them? Well, welcome back to this episode. And maybe that's a good leeway into what we're going to talk about today, which is our morals. Yeah, we wanted to talk about our morals and our ethics. Are we good people? I would like to think I'm good when I need to be. Ethically, I'm a good person. Morally,

no. I don't know if you can be ethically good and morally bad. What's the difference between morals and ethics? Ethics, I think, is how you treat people business-wise. I might be... No, because that's business ethics. It's like the things you

do and the rules you follow and morals are like... But I feel like morals are kind of the and the rules you follow and morals are like but i feel like morals are kind of the same thing ethics and morals relate to right and wrong uh while they've been used interchangeably they are different ethics refers to rules provided by an external source i'm a fucking genius codes of conduct worth workplace and principles morals referred to an individual's own principles regarding right and wrong okay so yeah morally i'm like a little corrupt like my morals are a little out of whack but ethically i'm a good person ethically i'm corrupt because i don't believe in following the rules that people give me i think that's stupid you don't tell me what to do i will

punch you in the fucking neck morally i am the most amazing there's a few things there's a few things i can think of kai most amazing person ever. There's a few things I can think of. Kai's laughing his ass off. There's a few things I can think of where I'm like, yeah, like society's right. Don't do that. But you disagree with those things? Well, not everything. Like, shut up. You're like, I fuck with murder.

Actually, that's like low key. Yeah, I'm like, I'll be damned if I go to court if someone kills a family member of me. No, bitch. Eye for an eye. Like, come on. Come on, come on, come on. Me and Call of Duty, an eye for an eye. I literally killed so many fucking people.

I've killed so many people. Before we get into this episode, I just wanted to state right off the bat that it is official. I'm 23 years old. i've decided to stop breastfeeding i thought you were gonna age regress and like i thought no i've decided i've decided i'm i'm too old to be breastfeeding it's just a little weird right see that's what i'm saying no but that's no but that's that's a good moral. Like, it's okay to breastfeed because you just want to stay close to your loved ones and suck on a nipple. Exactly.

Like, there's nothing morally wrong with that. I need to be clear. I'm not sucking my mom's boobs. Oh, I... You thought I was sucking my mom's boobs? Yeah, and to me, that's normal. Why are you sucking the teat of another woman? I am sucking my mom's boobs.

Okay, let's get into these. The thing is, like, your mom listens to this. I know, she's, like, the biggest fan of the podcast. Hi, mom. Hi, mom. Shout out my mom. Ew. Also, you started this before we started.

Drew was like, I'm just not feeling good. Like, I'm not mentally okay. See, that's what I'm saying. You cannot act mysterious in front of a camera because the second it turns on all your brain can think about is like what can get clipped exactly no literally my brain is a fucking clip oh my god i'm sorry that literally freaked out that didn't even scare me i'm so sorry i like had to let that i was like bubbling like um yeah the consequences of your own actions okay that really just threw the vibe off like incredibly that like really ruined the vibe like you just you know what it was you felt happier

than me and in that moment i knew i had to take you down like i had to take me down with you like no one i should be i am so miserable but i still need to somehow be the happiest girl in the room i need to i when i walk into a room i want the vibe to just change immediately to no you used to do that like and not in a funny way and like like you weren't doing it to be funny you genuinely were a vibe terrorist like you were fucking awful and i'm good at it i know how to fucking just ruin the vibe for everybody and now well now we know i'm very anti-empath like if you're an empath and in my vicinity i will destroy you that's not true you're just fucking annoying and i think i'm an empath it was like it was like a childish thing

of you you don't do it anymore because now we all know you so well that we're like, just let him throw his fucking fit and ignore him. Exactly. It's like a little baby. No, see, that's the thing is like I need my space. When I'm in my element, I need my space. When you're in your element. What the fuck are you talking about? I need deodorant so bad.

So I'm going to stand up and get deodorant, but explain what we're doing. Okay. So on TikTok, i saw this one tiktoker his name is tall i think it's tall psychologist um and he does like these moral dilemma polls on tiktok and i thought it was so fucking funny so i decided to pull a few moral and ethical dilemmas and just like ask me and anya these questions and see where we lie morally and i just know it's going to be so gnarly and it's going to be so there's going to be real arguments and we're going to disagree on a lot of things and i know i'm going to piss you

off literally last night we talked about like why me and kai think like circumcision as a baby is a little weird like that's just a little weird like and and you just had to have the different uh different opinion um sorry i i forgot this is the drew podcast so i'll just i'll just keep talking i'm so sorry but like i'm gonna interrupt because i got this gift i set you up to yell at me i i'm so sorry i just got distracted because i got this gift made and they. I set you up to yell at me. I'm so sorry. I just got distracted because I got this gift made. And they made it in like five hours. That's really cool. I don't know how I feel about the top.

The little like nipple. Like it kind of looks like a little dumpling bun. It looks like my mom's breasts. Oh, yeah. Are you talking about last night when I literally got into like such a deep conversation with Kai? I felt so bad about that conversation with you. No, I literally thought it was a debate. It wasn't like...

I just feel bad sometimes when I'm so on the opposite end of someone's opinion. And I just like... Because I can literally go on forever. I can talk. No, we saw. And I can push it forever. But I feel like Kai could have gone on forever, too. I feel like y'all were both just hashing ithing it out and then drew kicked us out of his room

because i was like girl it's 1 30 in the morning like take this argument somewhere else we can't have talks like that for that long because it gets very like because you get bored of talking and instead of just backing out and being like okay like i actually don't want to talk about this anymore your stubborn annoying ass says some shit to piss me off. And then I start going deep and like digging deep until it starts. I was doing it last. I was doing it last night. I was like,

Oh, like I'm going to get under his skin a little bit, but no, I thought it was like a good conversation and points were made on both sides. Um, it was, there was the conversation about like circumcision, which was just kind of like funny

it's like which i do believe that it is fucking weird like why are we doing that as a society like give me my foreskin back i will take pills to regrow it if i have to that's another another fucking um and i don't believe men have the like hygienic intellect to take care of foreskin like i'm about to just be like like get in get into this one but then also they had like conversations about like nfts and crypto and just shit like that which was like an actually fascinating conversation and i think y'all should have that debate um yeah me and kyle are gonna start our own podcast and then sooner or later it'll like grow past this one and we're just gonna shun you yeah and then i expect that i expect to be shunned out of this group i

mean the guy on the phone told you i know that's what i'm that's literally what i'm referencing you didn't y'all are constantly praying for my fucking downfall you didn't yell fire loud enough i know in private i exclaimed that shit really fucking loud that's the first one i've gotten where he's asked me to interact with him which is crazy normally he's like press one now press one now you look he should like turn to god and start doing that no literally y'all don't y'all do not want my religious arc like you do not want it they coming soon our religious homophobic tyrant are coming soon coming real fucking soon i like there's so there are way too many influencers it's literally like the child star theory like there are too many influencers who started young

and then all of a sudden got like religious and homophobic yeah like the amount i can i can think of three off top of my head big nick sorry that i'm we need to talk about that he gets a pass because he literally has been threatened with death all his life so like i like get that one but some of you bitches just be bored like no he's like the checks start drying up and you're like he's spreading misinformation okay that is true he is like literally spreading anti-vaxxer the vaccine has like the devil in it and abortus aborted fetuses in it and it's like really evil which like again like i'll allow him to spread that misinformation like i'll allow it i'm sorry he deserves that i love him i genuinely we've hung out before it was great but i just people change you know it's true people can change can you get

on with it like with the topic you're gonna go on a big nick rand for like you're like it's like when you were like and i guess that just says a lot about us like a whole lot of does say a lot about us okay so i have a couple um loaded up in the camera roll right now from this guy's page the tall psychologist page um so okay this one's a gnarly we're gonna start off gnarly right off the beginning okay would you rather die happy now like right now die happy or live a long happy life but post-death people think you're a serial child abuser um you know what the problem is is i was like i'm dying happy now i'm dying happy now just because like i get to be put out of my misery yeah but also there's like an argument

where it's like okay but who the fuck cares i'll be dead as fucking yeah i'll be dead as bones i don't fucking care like i'll literally be such like dust that like that will actually not actually i'll take the long ass happy life like are you kidding me? Like, because in my head. I know deep down that I'm not that. Yeah. I'm not an evil person. So I'm like, what? Oh, oh, at my funeral. Like, are y'all going to like start talking about me?

Like, I don't give a fuck, girl. I'm not there. I literally don't care. Yeah. And then also just like the promise of being happy. Like, that sounds kind of awesome. I know. That sounds like, that sounds like there's no.

Is there true happiness? No. I genuinely don't think there is no i think i i'm not kidding i think like the idea of happiness is over like saturated so that people feel like they have to like work themselves to the bone which in the end is only like profitable for like the people around you and corporations and like capitalism blah blah but i think like it literally is like this like grand ideology that like most people are incapable of having the happiest no never mind let's move on you have to say some fucking stupid

shit yeah i bit my tongue i bit my fucking tongue okay this is a good one this is a good one poor people get 10 better lives but the rich people get 1000 better lives do you press the button that's like activates that yeah you do wait i wait i guess now that i think about it well because i'm just like i mean it's kind of the same like right now yeah it's just like doubling what it is yeah like what does that even mean um yeah i'll press it i'll press it for the girls i'll do it for the girls you know i'm that's just me doing my part for the people i mean that's literally what happened in the pandemic except the most is it good oh yes no i was like that's a good point oh yeah like the the richest got like even more

richer like seven trillion dollars richer or some crazy fucking number. I'm pretty sure most poor people got poorer. That's what I'm saying. Except also the poor people literally got even more poor. So we could take poor people back 10 percent up. Yeah, I'll do it. OK, but would you make poor people 10 percent more poor? Oh, wait, wait.

Is that what it's asking? No. Oh. I misread it and I'm happy as fuck to slap the button because I think it'll make it. And y'all are like, oh my God, what? Damn, she's evil. Okay, let's see what this one is. Oh, I screenshotted the same one twice.

Okay, I have to go down this list and find some some so just talk for a second um i don't know oh you know what i i went and got and i it's actually fucked up that you told me to talk for a minute and it took me one second to think about that i was like if you put me on the spot like that i literally would have nothing to talk about and like i just have infinite dumb shit to talk about um today i realized that i am like kind of fucking stupid one it was so beautiful out and it was like raining and i was running my errands and it was like so sweet and i was like walking around in the rain and it felt so good and then i was um getting really paranoid because i was like oh my god um i don't know if my immune system can like handle just like being cold and in the rain like this anymore.

But I also don't believe that I'm like someone who will ever get sick by any means. Like I just don't think my body does that. Are you talking about the booster? No, I was just talking about getting sick in general because I was walking around in the rain today. Oh, I really want the booster though. They won't let us have it. Yeah, they won't let us have it until it's been exactly six months, which is so annoying. But I can get it i'm

gonna get it does johnson and johnson need a booster yeah right i don't fucking know um yeah you're about to go get a booster and fucking like die because you're not even paying attention anyways when the fuck are they gonna change the eye but you know when you go and get your eyes checked and they show you that little fucking house at the end of the road once one i want to live there yeah it's like the most magic i want to live there so bad and two why the fuck are eye tests like literally ye olden machines like why are you blowing air into my fucking eyes like what is that doing for you like you're just embarrassing me you're actually embarrassing the fuck out of me right now makes you cry because i'm sitting here and i'm like like jumping in my seat and i look like a fucking pussy um what a fucking pussy and also i got a new prescription of eye

contacts today and i think it was the wrong one but i was too scared to ask more questions because i felt stupid for taking so long because i was trying to explain him i'm like my vision is blurry that like things like bleed out and are blurred out but it's not like I can't see it's just like things are like really like like blurred out and then I was too scared to ask questions his job is literally to answer those questions

well I was too scared and intimidated and I walked out with the wrong prescription and my left eye like does not see as good as my right eye and like I can't change it and I already spent $300 on contacts and then I was too nervous to be like yeah i ordered them off an illegal website because like you can't tell that to your like optometrist you probably could um yeah he literally was like i lied to him and i said oh i just get my contacts my friend has the same prescription as me and she gets them from her company don't lie to your doctors craziest lie and i was like and then he just looked at me he's like yeah you know if you get them from her company. Don't lie to your doctors. I made up the craziest lie. And I was like, and then he just looked at me.

He's like, yeah, you know, if you get them from a third party website or anything like that, too, we could just price match it. And then I was like, OK. But I was too embarrassed to go back on my extravagant lie I told. So I just spent way more money than I needed to. So you didn't learn a lesson, though. No. Don't lie to your doctors. And I'm going to keep lying. They're there to help you. help you no they're fucking not they're there to take my money doctors

are there to take my money and tell me i'm sick when i'm not exactly exactly my anti-doctor propaganda um okay here's a good one the trapped mining crew so this is i guess a moral dilemma um okay heather is a part of a four-person mining expedition there is a cave or there is a cave oh my god oh my god i can't read i can't read there is a cave in there is a cave in and the four of them are trapped in the mine okay i had to zoom in so I can follow the words. A rock has crushed the legs of one of the crew members, and he will die without medical attention. She establishes radio contact with the rescue team, and it is learned that it will be 36 hours

before the first drill can reach the space she is trapped in. She is able to calculate that the space has enough oxygen for three people to survive for 36 hours, but definitely not enough for four people. The only way to save the other crew members is to refuse medical aid to the injured crew members so that there will be enough oxygen for the rest of the crew to survive. Should Heather allow the injured crew member to die

in order to save the lives of the remaining crew members? Well, can't the medic, like, medicare isn't even getting to them in time anyway so the motherfucker's gonna die well okay so they can choose the injured motherfucker to die or i think the more moral thing is to just let whoever runs out of oxygen first that's what i was gonna say like this is not my business i didn't set this up like this is god's plan and like whichever one of you motherfuckers dies because i know it won't be me because i'm about to be sucking the fuck out of the yeah i'm gonna be sucking up that air i'm about to be taking big ass gulps for the next

actually no one knows it's on the injured motherfucker for getting injured like don't get injured in my vicinity like literally like you know who i am like see how the person i am there's four of us now how the fuck did that happen to you and only you you wanted that okay but out of me you kai and let's say josh who are we letting you you exactly like you know and you say that because you want to hurt feelings i have to let kai die what the fuck i've known y'all i was gonna let myself die i was gonna sacrifice myself for the people oh my god you're so evil yeah literally you're so fucking annoying um i just set your ass up well i'm also very like squeamish with injury anyway so if i saw one of y'all with broken legs i would just kill myself yeah literally anytime i'm like i don't want to see that like drunk you're like no like you have

to take care of yourself and i'm like yeah i literally can't like i cannot take care of well one you're a man so why the fuck are you looking for help in you literally leaving me to die on the fucking concrete yeah roll that real quick i mean we could drive him to the hospital. No, I'm not going to the hospital. We could just drive to the hospital. It wouldn't cost $4,000. The thing is, Mason last night was literally

throwing up like four times in a row. We did take him to the hospital, so I'm like, why do we have to take Drew to the hospital? Look at him. He's way worse than Mason. This is like Project X. Yeah, I worse than mason this is like project x yeah i know what if this is like you're so annoying because that what like went like got around on tiktok and there were comments being like this girl is like whether it's his best friend or not i'm like how about this i'm gonna smack the fuck out of you you dumb bitch

you don't know our relationship like you're fucking stupid and i fucking hate you and you know what if i saw you dead on the floor i'd leave your ass too i'd actually like exponentiate your death i would do something to make it faster i just like i i'm like so annoying because obviously i understand that like there are gonna be people who come across us on the internet and don't know us or our dynamic and make comments on it but like how about you shut the fuck up if you don't know what the fuck you're talking about yeah don't comment and that that's the other thing is every if everybody just shut their mouth minus yeah i will say because

it is like that's no that's the difference like i do this because it's my job you do it for what like to get your board read read a book like if you're that bored. Like, literally watch a movie. God, my hair is fucking disgusting right now. Okay, the life insurance policy. Mary is in the hospital lounge waiting to visit a sick friend. A young man sitting next to Mary explains that his father is very ill. The doctors believe that he has a week at most to live. He explains further that his father has a substantial life insurance policy that expires at midnight.

If his father dies before midnight, the young man will receive a very large sum of money. He says that the money would mean a great deal to him and his family and that no good will come from his father living a few more days. After talking with him, Mary can tell that this man is in desperate need of money to feed his family the man asked mary to go up to his father room and smother his face with a pillow should mary kill this man's father in order to get money for the man and his family yes i would do it i would do it if he gave me money if i'm on my deathbed and I have an insane life policy. Yeah, kill my ass.

I'm like, put me away. Like, put me under. I don't give a shit. Like, what's three more days on this earth living in this fucking hospital going to do for me? Make me more depressed? Like, I don't need that time to, like, spiral and freak the fuck out. Kill me. But I think, does she have a moral obligation to do it?

Absolutely not. Yeah, no. Why doesn't the son do it since he wants it so bad? Yeah, like, yeah, literally. Why is Mary the one having to do it? not yeah no why does the son do it since he wants it so yeah like like yeah literally why is mary the one having like who is mary mary's just there she's like i'm literally here for like a sinus infection i know like you're she's like my mom is up in her room dying right now um uh just for the fun of it i'm like mary kill him yeah i'm like mary don't be a bitch like literally if she was gonna get bread for it too like go ahead like do it wouldn't the doctors just give you the well he's on life support he's

like not talking like this hypothetical makes no sense because don't you have the option anyway to like yank that motherfucker out i don't know i in this hypothetical that's not stated well in this hypothetical that's what i assume and i wouldn't even use mary i would just ask the doctor and be like yo like we can't afford to keep him up for seven more days like kill his ass i don't know if that's how it works i think the doctor like comes to you and is like it's just like too expensive to keep him going yeah i'm gonna if the doctor hasn't said it yet i'm gonna keep hinting and be like oh like i really can't like i don't have my pockets pull the plug right fucking now and I'll give you twenty five grand in the morning. Please just pull the plug.

That's me to the doctor. Sorry, dad, but I'm pulling your plug. My dad has always said, though, this is so morbid, but he has said to us so fucking often. It's probably why I'm very morbid about the idea of getting old and dying. But he was like, I don't want to be a vegetable. Like, don't fucking play with me. Like, are you dumb? Like, are you actually dumb? Like, if I can't talk to you, why are you keeping me? Like But he was like, I don't want to be a vegetable. Like, don't fucking play with me. Like, are you dumb? Like,

are you actually dumb? Like, if I can't talk to you, why are you keeping me? Like, he's like, he's, he's always told us like,

let me go. Don't like play with me. Real. And I stand by that. But that's like a lie. Everybody who gets in that situation, like can't do it. And I keep my little old decrepit dad.

I'd be like, you better keep pushing girl. I want to come play. I want to come see you. I'll meet you in the afterlife Okay I don't know what this one is But the title's insane The title The Mad Bomber

Dude this episode is just fucked up Like what a way to end the year Just people watching me correct the fuck up Well no you're seeing our morals like we're laying we're showing who we truly are as people dude like the mad like someone writing that was like it's like the mad hatter but with bombs like yeah they all have really clever titles um okay insurance policy a madman who has threatened to explode several bombs in crowded areas has been apprehended unfortunately he has already planted the bombs and they are scheduled to go off

in a short time sounds it's it is possible that hundreds of people may die there's someone out there why do all of them have to deal with death like why are they just like fun ones like oh do i spit in someone's drink or not like yeah exactly all of them are so incredibly morbid it is possible that hundreds of people are gonna die the authorities cannot make him divulge the location of the bombs by conventional methods he refuses to say anything and he requests a lawyer to protect his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination. In exasperation, some high-level officials

suggest torture. This would be illegal, but the official is sure that it will make him tell the truth in time for you to defuse the bombs. What should you do? Torture the motherfucker.

What if you know that the bomber can withstand torture himself, but would talk if they were... Oh, this is... It got crazy. Okay, what should you do? He's actually into torture. What if you knew that the bomber can withstand the torture himself, but would talk if you were to torture his innocent wife instead? Oh my god. I'm ripping that bitch's nipples off.

I'm literally, I'm ripping her nipples off. I'm literally peeling her fucking fingernails up. I'm beating the shit out of her. I'm putting her on a bed of bamboo, and I'm going to let the bamboo grow through her, because it grows really fast, and it's really gnarly. Yes, I don't know why. I'm going to put a rat cage on her stomach and and starve the rat so it has to it starts eating

through this stomach have you seen that somewhere did you just make that up like i don't torture people that way i'm not weird um yeah i beat the living shit out of his wife like are you kidding me and then next question and then oh my god and then i would get a nobel peace prize for beating the shit out of someone i think it would just be like i guess no i would be like yeah i did it like do you know what i had to do to save those people i had to give this woman two black eyes um kai what are you doing um i would give the bomber a really good head and then well no in this hypothetical you can't make yourself like good at something so like you can't all of a sudden be good at giving head so it's like how would you like we're thinking of real life she's making points so you're you

would probably give like mediocre like but closer to like really gnarly, almost scarring head. No, it would be really good. It would be really good. And it would be such a good head that he would call off the attack. He would call off the attack and turn... Actually brave of heart. He would call off the attack and switch the bombs

for fireworks and start the pride parade. It becomes his coming out party his coming out youtube extravaganza the robin hood robber on to the robin hood robber like i'm so sorry that all of these are just so funny because like like us immediately laughing at someone planting bombs like that's all you need to know people about us that's all you need to know no the idea of someone like writing that like you are so fucking bored you're literally bored like in what world is that ever i mean that's probably happened before no i don't know if it's like i don't know that just all of these are funny because they're all written so

that someone can be a superhero yeah like all of them are like i'll i'll take the i'll do it like i'll take the l for the team like okay i don't know what this one is you witness a man rob a bank but instead of keeping the money for himself he donates it to a local orphanage you know this orphanage has been struggling for funding and the money will allow the children to receive proper food clothing and medical care if you report the crime the money will be taken away from the orphanage and given back to the bank what should you do um keep my fucking mouth shut wait wait say it again i'm so sorry i'm not reading all that again basically a man robs a bank you see it but he gives all the money to an orphanage do you report the crime yeah why would i report that fuck them kids yeah i'm a narc like wait wait oh wait i i misheard you i thought you said no no no you're right let them keep the fucking money oh yeah you're saying

that he like robbed the bank but like gave the money to an orphanage yes yeah why would i say anything actually i would be like can i get a little bit too i'm hungry yeah i'd be like i go up to him and say give me 50 of that money or i will tell no i'd be like i'd be like hey can i get like 50k like you're robbing a bank you're you're walking away with a lot of money i'm like can i get 50k please i wonder how much how much is like the average bank robbery because i don't think it's a hundred grand or more than like half a million dollars there's no way they're holding that much money look it up um there's no way they're holding that much money like because we have it's probably i feel like the average bank robbery is like four thousand dollars max what oh my god dude the average bank robbery netted about $4,333 in 2006.

That is so sad. That is so whack. Account for inflation. Account for inflation. Isn't that like a felony also, like robbing a bank? Yeah, that's like you go to jail for 15 years, 20 years. That is so depressing. For $4,000.

Yeah. Like, that's embarrassing. Get a fucking life. Get a real job. Just kidding. Okay, then I guess, yeah, yeah like have the fucking money to the orphanage they're gonna like literally feed like three people i was about to say you're not feeding an orphanage off of four thousand dollars i'm yeah so whoever made this one is just like not really thinking logically they're just missing the market more about being a superhero okay um there's so many of them okay these ones are like more fun i think telling a secret oh telling a secret do you want to read this one yeah um is this a fucking

google doc wait why is this on texas.gov i don't know i i switched to this website telling a secret your friend tells you that they committed a crime. They explain that they are having trouble sleeping at night and feel you're the only one they can trust with their confession. A few days later, you read in the paper that someone has been arrested for your friend's crime. Do you go to the police and tell them what you know? B. Encourage your friend to confess and warn him if he does not do so, you will tell. C. Say nothing because you will not betray your friend i'm shutting the fuck up wait but someone went to jail for your crime yeah someone went to jail for

your friend's crime it's like a random white dude went to jail for your crime i'm like whatever like i'm like tit for tat there's a white dude out and there's a white dude in unless it was like it was like if it was a poc i'd be like all right girl come on like i'm like listen like this is i mean regardless of the person i'm sending your ass to jail i'm gonna say i'm gonna say i'm literally i literally just told you i wouldn't send you to jail if it was a white dude to get arrested see that's that's the thing our morals lie in different places maybe you are morally corrupt no i am morally correct bitch like that's the correct thing to do um it's to send a random white dude to do instead of my random white dude yeah you're right you're right like you're gonna

tell me if like a tana mojo ass motherfucker got arrested for my crime you're not gonna just let her go to the slammer like let her go in that case like sure yeah like if it's like a bad person like it's like dexter he like kills only bad people it's true like dexter kills like imagine okay if bryce hall got arrested for your crime like we're going and having a key tonight like we are celebrating a key um yeah that's that's how i feel i wouldn't snitch because I'm not a fucking snitch Well no I'm still sending you to prison You just want to send me to prison for fun Yeah It depends on the crime also

Like how long are you going away for Is it like 30 days No I think it's supposed to be like murder No if it's like a robbery I'm like go to jail I'm like go to jail Or like go to court you're white you'll be fine You're like a white guy white you'll be fine you're like a white guy like you'll be good true um this one's called sarcastic friend your friend has a great

sense of humor however sometimes his jokes involve making fun of others in inappropriate ways you will point out a physical flaw or look for something odd or a different amount of person and make an unkind comment you feel uncomfortable when you're close no i know do you say something or just laugh i laugh like what yeah i'm laughing like you what like like it's a safe space it's behind closed doors like also like that's not your friend if y'all aren't pointing at people and making like yourself feel better in a situation like what the point of the morally correct thing to do is to correct your friend but like i said in the very beginning i don't give a shit like if i'm if you're not like going up to that person and making fun of them who's it hurting like blissful ignorance i'm sorry yeah i'm not saying like people should make fun of people in

their face do it behind your their back like a normal person like that's what most people do guys we're joking i'm not i think everybody needs to be made fun of i get made fun of so why can't i make fun of other people hit and run late one night you are driving home in a bad rainstorm a drunk reels out in front of your car and you try to stop, but you hit him. Nobody sees you. The guy looks and smells as if he is homeless. Wait, where is this going? I thought a drunk driver hit you. That's what I thought.

You've never even had a speeding ticket. Oh, wait, you check to see how badly he is hurt and realize he is dead. You've never even had a speeding ticket and are an upright professional with a family and a are well known and respected your community do you make a report and honestly confess your crime or drive on home and forget about it knowing no one is going to pursue the death of a homeless drunk whoa this one's really targeted um i'm reporting it anonymously and i'll i'll live with my demons. That's enough punishment for the crime. I literally, I would kill myself. Like, that's what I would do.

I would actually kill myself. Simple. Also, like, also, like, the description of this, like, the guy looks and smells as if he is homeless. Like, that is not an upstanding citizen like to go to him and be like ew like after you just literally hit them with your car um yeah i'm reporting texan in nature so it makes sense that it's on this website i'm reporting it anonymously. What are you doing? I'm snitching on myself. Aw.

Because I'm going to kill myself in prison anyway. So I'll let the family have satisfaction in throwing me in the slammer, and then I'll kill myself. But that's the point. No one knows that he's going to. There's no family. Then I'll still kill myself, just for for fun i'll still do it for fun um so dark we have to normalize talking about no no we do not um this these are so fucking whack you buy a pile of clothing items on sale at your favorite

department store when you get home you realize one of the items is not on the receipt. Do you go back to the store and pay for it? Fuck you! Wait. Reread that? You buy a pile of clothing items on sale, which I don't know why they're, like, saying that. You buy a bunch of clothing items on sale at your favorite department store. When you get home, you realize one of the items is not on the receipt.

Do you go back to the store and pay for it or just let it go? Just let it go. Absolutely not. Like, literally, are you fucking insane? You have to be a fucking psychopath to go back. You're a fucking weirdo if you go back. You're such a freak. You want, like, an award or something.

If I was working the counter and someone was like, oh, like, I drove home and, like, I noticed that, like, you didn't charge me for this, I would be like, you're a serial killer and I am going to charge you three times as much like for this product because you're actually dangerous and you're like i was like having so much fun sitting here on my phone on tiktok and now you're like you're ruining my fucking day okay also you know what i just realized these are 28 top moral dilemma questions by the oxford dictionary like these are like according to like this is literally a government document that it Like, these are, like, according to, like, this is literally a government document

that it's, like, these are the, like, ways you know if someone's good or bad. Yeah. The shopping one. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you actually kidding me, that being on here? Also, the government of Texas talking about a homeless person and saying

they're so stinky. Morally, you should go and get it back. No, i think that's ethically you should know at the bottom there's ethical dilemmas so these are morals and then at the bottom it goes and that was an ethical one i think yeah that was an ethical one the shopping one wait what are ethics again ethics are like rules placed by society kind of so it's like a rule of thumb for societies you bring it back yeah um like another ethic i guess it's kind of both like morally are you like okay enough to like yeah i guess because it says ethics are defined as moral principles that govern a person's behavior when conducting in a certain activity um oh well like this one says you receive a package at your home that was delivered to the

wrong address the shipping label indicates it is a favorite item that you cannot afford to purchase yourself do you keep it i fucking keep it i keep it because i'm a normal person and i know that the person who actually ordered it will just email and be like hey my package was stolen like this is so fucked up i paid a lot like or like my package never arrived and they'll get i think i think in that case i'm gonna try to find if it's like if it's on my street or literally next door i'm like i'll just give it to it depends what it is i can't lie i'm taking it i'm bored it's the new mu mu puffer coat and i'm taking it and i'm wearing it every day in and out of the apartment and the neighbor's gonna be so jealous and think that i got mine first really i stole theirs a friend gives you a gift for your birthday unfortunately is the type

of perfume you're extremely allergic to do you say something and ask for a receipt to return it or keep quiet if that's your friend why wouldn't you just be like girl this shit makes me itchy like i know literally switch it like stop playing exactly how ethic? Also, how is that ethics? I guess, again, yeah, because it's like on a societal standard, the manner driven thing is like, oh, if you have manners, you just stay quiet and you like accept the gift. But me and my dumb fuck friends don't act like that with each other. Yeah, we tell each other the truth. If it's burning my skin, like I'm not. I'm not wearing it.

I don't give a shit. I'm like, oh, let me go get some good shit that i like the smell of get rich your friend offers you an opportunity to make a great deal of money very quickly he has arranged to set up an offshore account for your profits he will not tell you exactly how he's making this money but you get the impression that it is not exactly legal. He only wants an investment of $500 and promises you that you will have enough from your minimal investment that you will never need to work again. Do you A. Give him the $500, deciding if you don't know how he is making it, you're in the clear. 2. Demand to know the details before getting involved.

3. Decide you want no part of this as you trust your instinct that the offer is shady and you might even get in legal trouble. I'm shutting the fuck up and giving you $500. Yeah, run me my fucking money. Yeah, I'm like, well, I didn't know what he was doing. We're going to get scammed by fucking cash app scammers. I know. Like, give us $200 and I'll make it $4,000.

I'm like, what? How the fuck are you going to do that? Like, actually.4,000 I'm like what how the fuck are you gonna do that like actually okay money isn't real because how am I sending you rent over my phone how am I sending you rent like that makes no sense like how do I give you like I literally like type in my phone like it's a

calculator app and then I get to live here start paying me rent in bitcoin I know like what I don't even know how you would do that like i genuinely like if you put me in a room and you were like you can't google it but you have to figure out how to like figure out bitcoin i would like just crumble i would like have to kill myself same actually same no what did i ask though just now yeah i asked a question but then i did not hear you ask a question you were talking fuck um oh well it doesn't matter we'll listen back and it'll be there and it'll be unanswered

forever oh this is insane a difficult choice yeah you and your family that that's underlined by the way i'm gonna like say i'm gonna emphasize what's underlined it's only two things you and your family love the beach and decide to spend a weekend in an isolated beach cabin your teenage daughter often gets bored on your getaways so you make plans to take your niece along. You have a difficult choice to make do you save your niece first as she is a poor swimmer and will not be able to last as long as your daughter or b save your daughter first because although she is a strong swimmer swimmer it may be able to last longer for you to come back after saving your niece you cannot stand the idea of i'm saving my daughter i'm sorry like what but if the daughter can swim better like i'm that doesn't mean swimming i've been in rough currents same she could swim like she could swim all she wants

like if the ocean wants her it i'll um i think i'm gonna save the niece and then go after my daughter but also i'm answering that as someone who will most likely never have kids in his entire life and i kind of don't care and i'm also a narcissist so i just am like i'm saving my fucking daughter are you kidding me that one's mine that one's literally mine but like also imagine like going to your sister and being like your kid no i'd save my daughter and kill myself duh oh my god's it's the quick fix um these are the rest of them are like so fucking whack oh wait oh is this the insurance policy one you read maybe you have worked years to be successful in your father's business you felt you were

obligated to take over as he worked his whole life to build the business left to him by his father however the large businesses in town have seriously cut into profits and for several years you and your family have just managed to scrape by. Your father's health has declined and he has been hospitalized. He has a substantial life insurance policy that expires at midnight. If he dies before midnight, you will inherit enough money to pursue a career you've always dreamed of and provide adequately. Again, killing him. No, listen to what the government wrote. Do you, one, pinch the oxygen line, making it impossible for your dad to die or smother him with a pillow

making it impossible for him to die oh making it possible for him to die b tell your dad the problem and let him suggest a solution and go by what he says c do nothing you cannot imagine living your life if you terminate your dad terminate i just say pinching the oxygen i'm pinching the oxygen i'm fucking pinching the shit out of it i love you no like actually personally because like in this hypothetical like obviously it's my dad i would talk to my dad and he'd be like you know what yeah you're right no yeah you're right let me try um but yeah the government government saying pinch his oxygen to making it impossible for him to die. And then using the term terminate your dad.

Terminate. Terminate. I'm looking to see if I have anything else to talk about because I feel like we did that for enough time. But I have nothing else to talk about. And I've talked about everything in the last two weeks. I'm all out of topics. You're up to two minutes. I'm all out of topics. You're up to two minutes. I'm all out of ideas.

Well, I think that's it for the episode. Yep. I'm trying to think of anything else I want to say. I know I gave my big sappy speech in the last episode because I miscalculated. And actually, this is New Year's Eve. I was wondering why you did that in that episode. I was like, girl, we still have one more episode. Because I was like, okay, it's Christmas Eve in five days.

In seven days, it'll be the first. Like, I thought this episode was going to go up on the first, but I miscalculated because I forgot that there's 31 days in December. You're 31 days. You're 31 days in December. Why isn't there the same amount of days in every month? It just doesn't make sense to me. I'm driving on nine.

Looking for a shotgun. My daddy's got a shotgun. You sing it right. I sing it wrong. What? I sing it right? Yeah. Yeah, I know.

But I just started going with you, so you don't embarrass the living fuck out of yourself. Let's do some Mediana. Some mediation. No new music for you guys i have one new song sagara by fabio karma caramuia caramuia um it's a great song it has bird chirps it's very natural sounding um i think that's something that i really like in music that i don't think enough people utilize is like water sounds and like bird sounds and just like nature sounds you're already column uses that a lot they're pretty good with that yeah i think that's like a really uh a lost art um and we need to bring it back and even like like park sounds like recording

like conversations at a park or like recording like out of your street window in new york city and just hearing street sounds like hearing that in a song i'm like oh i feel like i'm home um what i'm like you feel like you're home you come from like the most quiet like no i just meant like the world home is a feeling, not a place. That was deep, bro. That's literally like such a saying. Like you didn't make it up. Girl, I bet if you looked that up, it's not a thing.

Are you actually kidding right now? You're fucking trolling. Kai has something to say. That was a really deep saying that you just made up. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to disappear and you guys will never hear from me again. i'm gonna say that was a really deep saying that you just made up thank you thank you i'm gonna disappear and you guys will never hear from me again i think i don't know if i did this song before kimmy by bogdan oh my god oh okay yeah rosinski is that it bogdan rosinski um come on wig like turns up every fucking song you are insane come on wig turns up every single song

it's really great um and then i'm gonna say protection by massive attack and tracy thorne tracy tracy um i kicked a boy by the sund Red and gold by MF Doom Knocks me off my feet Stevie Wonder And put me down the cranberries And then I started watching This is going to shock a lot of people I started watching Kevin Hart's new show

And it's actually so fucking insane It's really really good It's insane because it actually did catch me So off guard I'm only two episodes in. That little motherfucker can act. He can. I know.

He's really good at showing nothing but fear and desperation and human cowardliness in the face. It's really terrifying. He's got the whole short male audience on his back. He's carrying them into the new year. He's like killing it. He can't fit all of them on there. But yeah, that's it for media. Live yourself.

Love yourself. Happy New Year. See you in the new year. Don't do that, Drew. What are you doing? What? What was that hand signal you were just doing? I didn't do anything.

Drew was throwing up Illuminati. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're going to be first. You're going to get demonetized. I just want to say 2022 will not be my year. I know everyone goes into the new year being like, this is my year. This is it.

2022 will probably be the most terrifying, terrorizing year of my life. I feel like there will be a black cloud cast upon my life. That's what I'm saying when i say something is coming see how i'm talking about me and you have to make it about you i'm saying something is coming well i something's coming for you but something bigger is coming for me no i'm saying in general in the world something is coming something is gonna happen no and i'm not talking about the world i just clip it chat clip it when the big thing happens i I'm feeling alien invasion. We found a block on the moon. Aliens don't exist.

No, we found. Have you heard about that, actually? No, because I don't fucking think about things that aren't happening in front of me. A Chinese rover that is just roving the moon found a giant, like a massive fucking cube, an unnatural shaped cube just on the fucking moon. And they took pictures of it. And over the last like four days, they've been been driving towards it they just be like putting shit there now um but i just think it's really interesting that like that's just something that happened

i'm not saying it's aliens i'm just like like what is it it's just it's cool to think about it's a fucking box it's a pr package it's an addison ray item beauty pr package that she accidentally sent to the moon look at this y'all like don't that is you were showing me a picture of fucking nothing right now are you actually kidding me true what are you kidding me give me that fucking phone right now and i'm moving up to the camera No they can see it will insert the photo I'm not that's what I'm saying. What the fuck is it? There's nothing there. It's a fucking girl you show you okay? You're spreading misinformation. I did not show you that photo. You showed me the circle which is no different this is different this is different it's literally the rover seeing another rover on the other side of the massive and no one the top down photo is crazy what the hell is the top down photo this one i think so like this one

yes what the is that literally what is that y'all are actually so fucking in a way that's wicked that looks like something from fortnite it's literally there there is a fucking yeah the bus from fortnite crashed no there was a fortnite event and everybody was like oh it's like the fortnite promotion for the new season because they did like a cube thing i don't fucking know i don't play that game but quite quite eerie it's very weird are so annoying y'all are so annoying like kai acting more interested in it to piss me off like it's literally fucking nothing it's huge though it's like absurdly, which is the other thing. I'm like, what's all this thing? That's what people say about my big honking vagina.

So, new alien invasion coming soon. Should we do another hour about the cube? Yeah, we should. Let's keep this going. Yeah, I'm so annoyed. All right, well, happy New Year's, you guys. There's no such thing as aliens. That cube is stupid. All right. Well, happy New Year's, you guys. There's no such thing as aliens. That cube is stupid.

Nothing matters. You should think about your real life and the people around you because you're not going to space anytime soon. It's about to be our real life. If it is something crazy, think about it. No, you know what it is? We're going to go up to that fucking Tesseract. I'm going to call it a Tesseract. It could be the fourth dimension, the portal to the fourth dimension. Yeah, and y'all can Tesseract. It could be the fourth dimension.

The portal to the fourth dimension. Yeah, and y'all can go in there. It could be. A huge DMT crystal. Exactly. Y'all are so annoying. Like, you're literally one of the most annoying people ever. Anyways, I'll see y'all. What if it's the moon's vagina?

I'm going to be the first person to fuck the moon. All right. Bye. Happy New Year. Be safe. Love you guys. Outro Music