Emergency Intercom - somebody broke into our house and watched drew sleep

Episode Date: June 16, 2023

Drew tells another terrifying story about a mysterious person outside his window, enya does some investigating on the backstory of vines and oh also its pride month  Visit https://BetterHelp.com/INTERCOM today to get 10% off your first month  To get 25% off your first order, plus free standard shipping, visit https://MeUndies.com/EMERGENCY Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Welcome to this episode of Emergency Entertment. Today is a more serious episode. Something really scary has happened to Drew.

I just don't know what it is yet so last night it was like the latest i have stayed up in a very long time like i was up till like 2 a.m 3 a.m which is like very out of character for me yeah i was shocked when you said that because you're like impeding on my time yeah Yeah. Well, you woke up kind of early this morning, which is my time. But I was laying in bed kind of just like spiraling, thinking about everything as one does. Very existential, very like, what is the point to all this? And then like I hear rain and it starts raining raining and I'm like oh thank god like I had such a good day yesterday like mentally and emotionally like thank god I have rain um to

final like to put a cap on this day like this yeah just like yeah perfect day how could it get any better yeah and so I have my window wide open and as some of you guys know or remember I sleep with my windows like unblinded like I I hate blinds I feel constricting they make my space feel even smaller than it already is I don't like blinds um so I'm like used to like having yeah whatever the elements coming in um but yesterday i like opened my window to like listen to the rain and i stayed up late to experience the rain and i'm like laying in bed with my window open watching succession and i hear this sound in our neighbor's backyard and i'm like what the fuck is that and it like is very eerie it's like

a very eerie sound like a like almost like a heavy breathing sound and I'm like oh hell no like what is going on so I like look out of my window and I can't see anything because I still have my like overhead light on and I like look out and like I don't see anything obviously I just said that but I go and turn off my light because I'm like really curious because this sound is like getting louder and it feels like it's getting closer and i'm like literally what the fuck is going on like what is this sound i was like oh maybe it's just our neighbor's dog like just breathing heavy being weird because they neglect that thing and it's really sad and they just lock it outside all the time but that's not the point of the story i look

out there and there's literally a fucking person. Oh, you going on like your tangent about the way they treat their dog in the middle of your story. Keep going, sorry. But there's a person standing in their fucking backyard. Are you lying? I'm being dead fucking serious. I even took a note because I was like, oh, that's the killer and they're about to be killed. And like the police are going to come over here and question me and look.

But there's like this big fucking dude standing in their backyard breathing heavy. And I was like, I thought you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you up and scare you. And Josh was already asleep and I was just like, I don't know what to do. So I just shut my window and went to sleep and took a note at 2 or 3 a.m. and was like, there was a person in their backyard and if they wake up dead or don't wake up dead, they were murdered by him and I'm going to go to the police and like talk to them about it but i haven't heard anything from them so they could have been murdered but there was a person just standing breathing in their backyard dude what no that is actually like that's not no i know that's what i'm saying it's like actually

scary that's like actually the killer i know it was it was giving the killer and like i don't know if he was looking at me like i don't know if he was looking into my window and I was just like oh my god like this is the first time in my life like I want blinds like it was very very eerie I can even show you the note because I wish you took a picture I was like so scared I was literally shaking in my boots and normally like I know normally I would text you and be like there's someone but i really was like freaking the fuck out like ptsd'd from like the first home invasion like i was like shaking in my boots like i wanted to come and grab we've literally been manifesting yeah for real like evil things we've been retelling you're just not supposed to talk about anything bad that's ever happened to you because you're just going to manifest more things yeah we've been manifesting

like all the bad shit but look i look 203m heard sound in neighbor's backyard and then i looked out and he was fucking standing there it was so scary god it's so scary well um i had fun on my iphone last night i fell asleep watching the muppet show and looking at cars on facebook market and then i went to sleep and then i was doing my investigative research on estate sales because i still don't think they're real and i still have not figured out how to find them but i really want to go to one before i leave town like i'm like really determined there's probably like a website that's like a state sales.com no there literally is but it was made in 1942 and it literally functions like for somebody who only reads newspapers like

if you really look at it a lot of those old websites are based on newspapers and i've never read a newspaper in my goddamn fucking life so i have no idea what to look for i like don't know how to navigate that with my eyes the only time i ever like used okay so when i was younger like lone star news would have like field trips and we would go and see how like newspapers were made. Do I look big today or something? Like why do you keep looking at me? Oh, I'm looking at your belt and I keep thinking about how I have those two belts that I ordered that don't fit me and I need to return them. And I already put in the exchange.

So I'm getting sent these other belts and I'm probably just going to get charged for these belts. It might tell me you hurt. What? But we would go on field trips to like see how newspapers were created and it was really sick and really exciting for me because it was like giant rolls of paper like fucking massive and then the other time i've ever read a newspaper was when i took silly putty and you would put silly putty on the newspaper and you could create a stamp and lift the ink and put it on the thing and I did that I think I did that with my newspaper

I did that with my newspaper article about me winning the art show because I was like oh I'm so like I'm so different like I don't you are different you're like doing collage shit other kids are like outside playing like and enjoying life and you're inside like doing mosaic playing with ink that probably had lead in it i did mosaic one time the one and only time i did mosaic um i like was cutting the tiles and like i was making this like design i don't know what the fuck to call it and there were tiles like all over the floor and there were tiles like cut tiles all over the floor and like i was moving around on my knees and i sliced my knee open no it was bad it was you have like jeans on at least no it was shorts it was to the bone i was i was literally like 10 years old why were you doing mosaics and playing

with glass at 10 years old because i was just an artistic honestly no it goes to show what like where were your parents like actually why were you having no guidance no actually where were my parents no mom where were you no she was helping me um well it's funny you went to a newspaper factory because the only factory they took us to as a kid is we went to krispyreme. Back at it again at Krispy Kreme. Back at it again at Krispy Kreme. The fuck? Why did you nod now? That's not it, right?

Oh my god. Well, that is it. Is it? Yeah, it's that dude who's like, back at it again at Krispy Kreme. Oh, for some reason I thought it was a different franchise. Because the whole funny thing is like, does he do that all the fucking time like why is he in there flipping one of the i think that is like magnum up is fine for me my favorite vine is that one specifically because of the amount of questions you have after that one and i bet you thought we wouldn't steal a bus we stole a bus and i just recently watched like a dissertation video on

that video and then i found out that she made a video telling the story oh i need to see that it's really sick but yeah i also need uh k and collie come get your juice but i don't know their names that's my biggest thing come get y'all juice that's my biggest thing is like i don't know what the names are it could be like kim and colin like k and colleen like it literally could be like so many names but because i can't see them i literally was uh gonna do this thing during covid i don't know if you remember i was uh like writing down a bunch of vines that i felt like had so many questions to them and i really wanted to be on my investigative journal shit and hunt

these people down and know what happened after like how did that happen why did you do that what whom had the idea and all these things but um i have the brain of a mastermind no i have the mind oh uh what the fuck was i gonna say um i don't know we need to bring them onto the podcast one. But what was I starting? Oh, the thing about the Krispy Kreme video is it never actually happened. Why do you keep looking at me? I'm looking at your shirt. You're making me insecure about my body. You literally have the most graphic t-shirt on that you've worn in like the past four months.

And I'm just looking at the design on it. It's also the same shade as your skin. So you kind of just look naked. Looks like you have a huge nipple on the front of your chest and also your hat is like the same oh my god kai you're going in can you leave me the fuck alone sandy shoes sandy fucking bottom soggy bottom bitch why do we have to bring up the shoes you're a dusty saggy soggy bottom i really can't believe there's video of your shoes like actually turning to dust on camera the sand spilled out it's really really jarring it's really really crazy um it's not bad it's just you look naked and i think it's a good outfit but you look naked okay and it's not bad that you're a soggy dusty bottom i never said that was a bad thing okay um but yeah we went to the crispy cream

factory that's where they took it took us they didn't take us to like a newspaper factory a magazine factory or something no they fucking literally took us also it wasn't even the factory it was the crispy cream store that all of us had already been to in our life and they took us there and they had the windows and had us put on little hairnets and go stand outside of the window we didn't even get like a vip experience we got the same experience you got when you went to this krispy kreme because this was one of the krispy creams that had all the clear windows so you could see the machines making them and everybody making the krispy kreme donuts so they literally just took us to fucking crispy cream and had us pay 15 to the school to take us to fucking damn that is crazy do you remember going such a scam because everybody

like someone made a really funny tiktok where i was like um i wire plane tickets so fucking expensive bitch you're already going that way just let me get on like stop being fucking stingy and that's literally how i feel about the fucking field trips every kid like 50 kids don't have to give you 15 to cover the bus charts the buses work for the school the bus that same bus is taking me home after school like it's all i'm already getting on the bus like why are you taking 15 and you have to bring your own lunches and shit i know it's insane at least feed me and then like the stress of having to get your fucking um your paper sign signature i would i would fake the fuck out of that i was never brave enough until i was like in high school like i wasn't brave enough to like forge my parents signatures i think as a kid i didn't understand that like forging a signature

was not only immoral but a crime but in my head i was like why am i gonna have this conversation with my parents like no and i would just sign it also i would always forget like i would constantly forget because if i turn my head from something it no longer exists if i'm not like having my eyes on it so i would always forget and then the morning of the field trip my teacher would be like or like the day before the day of the field trip she'd be like all right last call like who has your field trips and then i would just um forge my my dad's signature that's lit that is lit yeah that's really lit oh my god okay like he don't sound like you think that no it's just like cool that you would just commit a crime like that like fraud but like whatever i was

like i didn't realize i don't know i just don't find that shit cool you know what's crazy is I um when I was like 14 or 15 um there was like a vine made of me um so I had just gone to a rave that night um I was like 50 I would know I was 16 because I I drove there um and I went to this rave in Dallas and I snuck out and then I was not supposed to be there and my mom and my parents like knew I was going to these raves but they didn't know what I was doing at this rave like I was always like good at like being like they thought you were just dancing yeah they thought I was just having a fun time but no I was doing molly at 16 and ruining my brain don't fucking do that it's the worst fucking thing you can ever ever ever do to your brain and I'm not kidding don't do what I do

examples of that because like just look at me and i'm it's like whoa gorgeous really grew into that brain then look at him and it's like whoa um something went very wrong no there's definitely holes in my fucking brain i don't know if that's real but the fucking molly worms milled into my brain um millie millie walked into my brain what the fuck were you saying where's the story okay so i went to this rave in dallas and i did molly at the ripe age of 16 and it was the worst thing i've ever done but um we still had to get home and i was like the only one that could drive because everyone was also twacked out and I was just like fuck it like I'll do it and like drove an hour and a half an hour and 45 back home like I was driving hella slow very safe it was I'm genuinely saying like this isn't me trying to

be cool like this is not chill this shouldn't have happened do not do this like it's the one of the worst things I've ever done but then I got home at like midnight and one of my neighbors were throwing a party. And I went to this party and in the bathroom, like me and my homies like went to the bathroom and they started doing really, really bad things. And I was like, okay, that's where I draw the line. I'm not going to do that. And while we were in the bathroom, they were banged, like cops started banging on the door and busting the party. And like they filtered out the house and they didn't go into the bathroom

we're like oh we're good like we just have to camp out here for like another hour and we're good and then they started banging on the bathroom door and they were like get out of the fucking bathroom and all this shit and we were like no like we're gonna stay in here and then um my homie like threw the bad shit in the toilet and flushed it and the cops were screaming like don't flush the fucking toilet why are you flushing the toilet like all this shit and then we all three like came out and they were like what the fuck were you doing in there and we were like oh we were just like chilling like we were we were hiding we were just like trying to get away from you guys well this was a party of a bunch of minors with alcohol,

but I had just gotten there and I wasn't planning on drinking because like, I know like the reactions that that causes in your brain, it's just not good. It's very neurotoxic. And I was like, if I'm going to do one neurotoxic thing, I'm not going to fucking do two and ruin my brain even further. So I was just like, I'm going to chill. Well, the cops took all of us outside. There was like probably 40 of us out front and they put us in a big circle and it started to rain and they started breathalyzing each and every single one of us, like all in the circle. And I was the only person that blew zeros because I didn't fucking drink that night. And the cops were super sus about that. And they were like, why did everybody else blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah and i was just like i didn't drink and then like as i was blowing the second time around a kid was recording me and uploaded it on vine of me blowing zeros and like everybody in this circle like celebrated and was like fuck yeah like just going crazy and that's kind of my story and then the cops when they were going back around reading everybody they're like breathalyzer numbers um they switched mine with this girl and they said that i blew

numbers and everybody was like he just blew fucking zeros like why are you trying to like and they were like fighting and then i was like i'll blow a third time if i fucking have to like i didn't and it was just like this big deal but then he was just like okay go home and i just got in my car and drove home or no we walked there and i got in my car and walked home um yeah so that was your victory story but it's funny because you still did drugs so like if i was there i would have snitched on you drugs are cool drugs are really if i was there and i was drunk and i knew you did molly i would have been like yeah he blew zeros because he did fucking molly and then we would have never been friends no like the thing was was like you know the story uh the show euphoria that was written about my life i was actually in the

writers room oh my fucking god that and that's why i'm in the third season yeah that makes so i mean like being in the third season and being the janitor that's like in the background at the school like i don't know that like i i wouldn't put that on my like imbd or anything but it is still a feat to be on camera with some of the biggest stars in the world i just don't have um lines you don't have lines but like i'm still on screen sharing this screen with sydney sweeney that's what i'm saying like that's cool but i don't know that i would brag about that okay yeah you'll you'll be saying that once i get my royalties check of three cents yeah three cents a month for the rest of my life but we were talking about that yesterday um that like we're actively witnessing like the robert downey jr the leonardo dicaprio the scarlett johansson's

of our generations i was gonna say you better name a woman because you're counting up on that. Oh, no, I got the girls. Yeah, okay, okay. The girly, the girls. Yeah, we're literally watching the Hollywood Renaissance happening where all the, like, stars we grew up on are just, like, moving on

and kind of moving out. Maybe not by choice because they're all, like, obsessed with still being famous and it's like, dude, if I had the money you had, I would, like, shut up and never be on camera again

because, like, I don't want to watch you on screen anymore but that's just my take um so you're and i'll probably have a different take by the time that like i like if i ever get to be on camera like that i'll probably do it till i'm like 88 because i love attention at that point so i should shut the fuck up but um it's crazy like yeah seeing all the new faces and it's crazy. Like, yeah, seeing all the new faces and it's crazy. Like I'm one of those faces because I'm actually in the idol. Um, oh really? Yeah. I'm on, I'm in, I'm the big finale.

I shouldn't be saying that. We have to cut that. We have to cut that. I'm the big finale. It's just me. I don't play a character. Okay, well I'm also in Stranger Things. It's Lily's character is like decompressing and like, she's like, whew, hard day being a pop star.

And it's her in bed and she's watching my YouTube videos. Yeah. Nasty. Because it's her comfort. It's my old vlog. Her comfort video. I don't know if I would want to be tied to that. I mean, that's what you say until you see my royalties.

See, I have real royalties. 17 cents uh should i read the crazy thing that i wrote that i don't remember writing yesterday or like this i remember this is um i said this into my phone so also siri is fucked up and could never understand what the fuck i'm saying so this probably has a million typos but it's a really long paragraph that i just like went on a tangent over i said there's no better feeling than derealizing for five hours on the couch to any media I can get my hands on to, whoa, to any media I could get my hands on to overstimulate me for that time. And then after those four hours getting up and realizing I can move my legs and

like move my whole body. And it just gives me this insane adrenaline rush because it's a reminder that I am alive after being gone from this planet for six hours. So I blast a song I really like and I dance around for like two minutes. And then as the song's coming to an end, I start realizing that I have nowhere to go to to dance like this. So dancing like this in my house is just not nearly as fulfilling as being out in the wild or being out at a club and dancing with other people. And then going back to overstimulating myself because I just can't get that kind of joy that

I had for two minutes and that I'm seeking in this moment because it usually happens around 3 p.m. anyways, which is brief, which is brave of me to even say because that would insinuate that I wake up at 9 a.m. or something. But I haven't woken up before 11 p.m. in like nine weeks and I think I'm going to kill myself. So I said all of that into my phone last night alone in my bedroom. Something is seriously wrong with you. Yeah. Like there's something really wrong. I mean, someone out there knows exactly the feeling I'm talking about.

No, I fully relate to that. So it's like something's actually something's wrong with you because I didn't even i wrote that for people like you i don't have those feelings i just wanted to monetize and profit off of people weird people like you who have that feeling yeah mental health is sexy yeah yeah yeah it is like a thing that you can sell now so yeah and it's weird yeah mental health is weird the commodification the commodification of mental health the ossification of mental health um okay well this is one of the notes that i have um i can look at a guy or girl we don't we we you know what i'm saying like we don't discriminate here oh okay okay and i can look at a guy and a girl and know if they have stinky private parts i can just tell it's like a sixth sense i really can just like look at you and know like if you're

like a little stinky down there i would agree but i would even say that it's kind of hard because some of the most like clean and well-put people i've ever met you find out that they have really not lit hygiene um what it just knows i know someone yeah like you can like you get down to the bottom of it and it's like damn i would have never thought that if i saw you outside it's like but that's that's it um and then there's a lot of people who like fake practice good hygiene they don't got that they don't have that i don't fake it you yeah because you just don't do it yeah so well i wait you did something crazy oh my god drew showered twice yesterday something is happening i showered at

the gym and then i showered last night because inya was smoking cigarettes and blowing it all over my body and it was in it was in my sebaceous sebaceous glands and it was just like i could smell it faintly and it was just awful awful awful he'd rather smell like fucking methamphetamine from his puff bar yeah cigarettes yeah i literally i've never smelled meth but some of those puff bars is what i assume the smell of someone doing math josiah smells like cat piss like unironically smells like cat piss and like i'm not the only person to tell him that and when he smokes that like i can what flavor does he have uh i don't know what it's called is it the red and orange one yeah Yeah, I can find him in the house

based off of the scent of cat piss following him wherever he goes. Drew is sipping on watermelon sour peach today, if anybody was wondering. We should do your flavors of the day. Yeah, watermelon sour peach. But I guess that's going to end because since you're quitting.

In a week. Oh, I think when this episode comes out, you will have quit already. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. wow which is very big very big news um and we also yesterday watched or two days ago watched the apple vision unveiling um and i wanted to get your tea on that um i wanted to know what your thoughts are my thoughts it's annoying because like we just have such like not such opposite thoughts but i think everybody knows that as much as i rely on technology and social media for my livelihood i just have so many grievances with it and

disagreements with it and i don't know I fall in this in between place. I remember I got into a really crazy argument with my ex over surveillance and how I just don't care for surveillance. And I kind of still feel like that, but there are certain things that I think are crossing the line. And once it starts to feel super inhumane the idea that i'd be wearing this thing and it can sense another human like looking at me and coming up to me to talk to me and then giving a recording of my eyes it just feels weird like i don't know i i i'm in between i think it's awesome because specifically for a plane like i would love to have that thing on on a plane flight like on a flight on a seven hour flight that would be awesome although it only fucking lives for two hours so i don't i just saw that in a comment somewhere i don't know if that's

no marcus said it did really oh yeah we love mkbhd in this house we stand i literally i genuinely I literally, I genuinely love him. Like, hi, Papa. No, it's literally giving. We're like, Papa. But yeah, he said it lasts for two hours, but you can plug it into like a fucking port or something and like keep it going forever, which I think would actually drain all the power from a plane and crash it because the machine shouldn't be plugged in in a plane. I wonder if they're going to make like different size battery packs. Yeah, I mean, I would it would be beneficial to have like a bigger battery pack just so that it can live longer. Because he made a good point in his video, too, that a huge thing they're trying to sell with it is this interactiveness in terms of watching movies and like um josh just passed away and his ghost floated out of the house i hope you could hear that this immersive experience of watching movies so why the fuck would the battery only last two

hours most movies are either two hours and ten minutes or like oh my god you're like fading away oh my god i know sometimes it's like scary like you're there's like an energy coming from the camera yeah sometimes it's like we're talking and then it's like oh you're here oh wow no i didn't know you were actually gonna come so it's like i don't know it's weird um but yeah the battery life is weird but mainly how i feel about it is i just believe that i don't believe in the progression of technology and whatever people can argue that i understand there's pros and cons there's pros and cons to everything. But in my head, I'm just like a lot of it is scary. Like, I don't know.

My take on it is I think Apple Vision is going to suck. I think the first generation product isn't going to be what we want. But like four generations down the line, it'll get smaller and cheaper and it will be sick. I'm still getting one might get a second one yeah i mean i still want to get one just because of the it's important it's like a huge step in technology even though but i also probably won't do that because i won't touch it yeah even though vr has like been around for so long like i do think this is like the genesis of like the new frontier that we're going to explore like the iPhone was.

Like I do think it's going to be something that's like adopted widely. Not at first because they're even limiting it to an American audience, which is crazy. Oh, I didn't know that. That's insane. Like a user database like to do that. Like, I don't know. Maybe it's because our data laws are so much more loose here that they can consume. Just scan our retinas.

No, literally. I wonder if that's it it's because it's like also an american company so that's most companies are probably like we don't want you fucking collecting data here bitch but my ultimate take on it is like i'm excited for i'm excited for the future and like we've been living in this like weird dystopia for like the last like 10 20 years where it's like all of the bad things about the future are happening and we're not getting anything good but like we're finally getting like the good part like one of the good parts which is like something you can just like immerse yourself in and like escape all the bad parts what's like it's a product of the

environment like it's not gonna fix the problems but like at least it'll make it a little easier. It literally, this is the corniest thing ever, but I watching Mark's video, I was like, damn, I need to rewatch Wally as a full grown adult because it is so real. It's coming soon.

We really are just like headed towards the inevitable end, which I won't be alive for, which makes me happy. And if it does start i will simply kill myself stop fucking playing with me um but yeah but that's also i just have the tendency to think very pessimistic and also i do nothing but envy the lack of technology yeah i'm just falling though i'm obsessed with technology because it like runs my whole life but yeah i'm just falling for the psychological operation of the apple vision like

i recognize that but like but you also in general just usually you're like way more invested in like the future of technology than i am i am like i just like to see the good the good and everything i just try i try hard scares me really bad but that's also why i was like i i'm like where does this conversation even go because it's just always me being like no that's a no from me uh-uh because i just it freaks me out also it shouldn't take pictures like that like yeah that was the craziest thing i've ever seen was being like, oh, like you can watch back your memories. Yeah, you can watch back your memories like a Black Mirror episode.

But then like they showed how it's done. And it's this dude with this fucking mask on his face taking photos of these children. Like, it's weird. It's like the dad with the 14 foot fucking giant camera at the birthday parties when they were younger like it's an eyesore it's weird it's not natural which even that i wonder if that felt as unnatural because i think it's one thing to have this like thing because already with iphones it bothers me like i genuinely don't believe in recording everything but then i think about how i am so jealous of people who have these tapes. There's,

but I don't know, there's something so different about it being like a digital phone where you can upload it and immediately rewatch it. And this, for some reason that really bothers me. And I feel like with like tapes and digital cameras, even like before, before the year 2005, it was a big thing to record a few minutes of something and then kind of like drop your phone and keep it pushing. But I don't know, maybe I'm just being one of those annoying people who's like, it's so different now when it's kind of been the same. People have always wanted to record and document things that are happening because memories have always been such an important part of not only history, but human nature. People love to preserve ideas and feelings because we're so obsessed with feeling good. and a part of feeling good is being nostalgic blah blah blah so there's that but something about it being on

your fucking face it's like i think that is so crazy that's the killer like yeah that's like unanimous like it will only be adopted when it's a chip into your brain like widely and i will be getting that chip immediately i don't give a fuck but you should look into the work of Ted Kaczynski. I think you'd really like his work. Listen to this factoid. 295,000

people..00037% of the population holds 33% of all wealth on earth. It's pretty crazy. I'm not kidding numbers like i i have no idea what you just said and i really tried to listen like i was like looking at like a blank thing because i was like okay he's saying numbers i have to listen but numbers are so hard for my brain to grasp that i have no idea what you just said so you have to repeat it or i'll read it point zero zero zero three seven percent of the population holds 33 percent of all wealth on earth so insane that's literally what i was thinking of when i watched that keynote

yeah like because i remember i watched him what the next day i drove over here to do the podcast. And I was like, the roads in LA are so fucked up. Like, I want healthcare. Like, I don't want to strap a computer to my face. Especially when, like, the people that are in that fraction, they make passively, like, a million dollars a day. Just from, like, what they own. Also, they're so fucking old and like yeah it's all these old people who are just giving it to their fucking greedy little fucking mongrel

families fucking nasty fucking kids who are gonna just do the same fucking thing because they are gonna grow up and be like my life was fucking awesome why would i suffer when you don't have to suffer you just don't need to hoard it's literally a fucking disease like you have a fucking disease you were a hoarder yeah no dead ass it's weird it's scary and diabolical and i just wanted to share that factoid with y'all because it is very interesting it's fucking very very much which brings me to my next point that my most ideal life is starting a small business and packing the orders myself and selling little trinkets and plastic goods out of my bedroom in my house in upstate New York. That sounds really nice.

I'll just work for you because I don't want to do anything. So I'll just take the stuff to the post office. Well, you'll have your shop. I'll have my online shop. I do want to shop shop that's like my dream is to have a shop period i want to get i want to get a tattoo on my finger with little mustache i was gonna say yeah and then hold it like this and then ride a unicycle bacon why don't you actually mustache bacon i'm going to galaxy mustache bacon you should literally just do it who cares tattoos are literally funny I'm going to

I'm like yeah you should do it yeah you're like ruining your life I mean you're already like you don't have much left you might as well do the fun stuff you're like pushing like you're getting really old no I have many years wow I don't know if I would call four years i mean i have many years i don't know

if i would call four years many but you have some years under your belt no i'll be no i have many decades 87 no i'm not gonna be 87 what the fuck why does it keep moving on i'm gonna be working on this podcast with you guys for 40 years we'll miss you it's gonna cost 500 to buy a cup of coffee yeah and we're all gonna have computers strapped yeah it's gonna cost 500 to buy a coffee but then like everything else will reflect it because like that's just the government is good like that and like they make sure it reflects yeah exactly yeah wages will go up about two percent florida oh and by that time florida will be like number, number one state. It'll have the crown. Yes. Because they're so good. And it will be underwater.

Damn, dude. Someone the other day said I, like, was, like, we were all talking about where we were from, and they go, and he's from Florida. And I was, like, no, I'm not. Like, I literally was, like, guys. You don't claim that. I literally was, like, guys, don't fucking say that about me, please. I was, like, I'm from Miami.

And they were, like, yeah, Florida. I'm, like, um, fuck. It's not the same. It is not the same, but it is under the same scary state. Yeah. That was like now. Like, it's always been a joke to be like, oh, you're from Florida. But Florida is so fucking terrifying right now.

It is the worst place on earth. That somebody like looking at me in a car and be like, Florida. It literally felt like it was like one of those moments where someone points in a movie and then the person like comes forward. You believe everything Florida is doing right now? That's what that person is saying i'm not saying okay i thought you're trying to like put me out there oh no no that's that's between us yeah wait what no whoa i just feel like you guys are fucking putting me on the spot and like i don't think i need those are crocodile tears those are crocodile tears. Those are crocodile tears, honey.

Whoa. I think I would be happier if I was somebody who let outside clothes on my bed. I thought about that. Yeah, 100%. Because I've been so, like, not happy recently. That is, like, a debilitating disease that you have that, like, you can't do anything. It's, like, not chill. Like, I just don't like to be in my room when I'm dirty. And then I just haven't been hanging out in my room because I just don't want to be in there because the only place to lay is my bed

but i don't want to get in my bed in my outside clothes so i just don't hang out in my room and last night when i got to my room i had this thought that i haven't been in there in so long and that's probably what's been making me so sad but i think i'm just so sad because every day's been the same every day in la has looked the same i'm sure you've seen everybody complain about it i wrote i wrote that down because i was like dude it has been cloudy for 86 days in a row and i am the first person to support and rally behind an overcast day because it really is like the greatest thing to ever happen but it's overcast without rain it's bullshit and like it's starting to be really scary and it's

just also annoying because you see everybody else on your iphone out in the sun having fun and i live in a sunny place aka los angeles but where is the sun yeah it really makes you think yeah um everybody in new york posting this this episode is coming out so far after this so me saying this is so stupid uh everybody posting the like fire skies in new york it are so obviously people who have never lived in la because everybody's posting it like when people in la see a rainbow and we all have to post it because we never see rain or rainbows so we like have to post it on our story that's what everybody in new york is doing about this guy they're like it's an orange out like yeah they've obviously never grown up in texas i grew up in hood county okay i really did i know but like I'm from the trenches of Granberry.

Granberry is a place. Yes. Yes. Granberry is the worst place. They made an episode of We're Here about Granberry. I know. I think we talked. Did we talk about that?

I think we might have. We might have. Yeah, we briefly touched on it. Really diabolical vibe. Really scary. Really scary what this world has come to um and another thing that people have been saying about me recently is that there was pre-lasik and post-lasik drew and that i was a silly sillier boy pre-lasik which yeah that's probably a boy yeah that's probably true wait but i was? But I was also. You said sillier. No, I said sillier.

But I also like am like. An adult. An adult, a grown ass man with a fully formed brain. Like this is the brain I'm going to have for the rest of my life, unfortunately. And it's really terrifying. Yeah. It's like genuinely. Yeah.

I was also thinking about how like I've literally never been in love in my life because I'm not capable of love. I'm capable of love. Like I love people in my life. But like love, love, like that's never going to happen for me. And that the closest I ever got was with someone who is scared of themselves. Yeah. I mean, also you just. And they're still fucking obsessed with me.

They're nasty. Leave me the fuck alone, you freak bitch. Like, it's not even, like, hurtful at this point to get a text from them. It's literally disgusting. And I'm like, leave me the fuck alone. You're embarrassing me. It's crazy because there was... I was thinking the other day, like, there was a world where that did happen.

And it would have been so not good. It would have been so, so bad. So it's good that it didn't happen. I would have been killed. Yeah. I'm not kidding. You would have been so so bad so it's good that it didn't happen i would have been killed yeah i'm not kidding you would have been killed everybody has their killer and that's drew's killer i don't know who my killer is yeah i haven't like unveiled them like it's still like yeah maybe it's sitting right in front of you and you've never even noticed yeah maybe it is drew maybe it is drew i don't think it was it's true i think it's you what no no kai's too pussy to kill someone no i was saying that i'm your oh that you're okay

that makes more sense you like are not the killer like wait no i could definitely kill someone no i could oh my god absolutely i am not too much of a pussy this is gonna age like that uh that clip of david dubrick being like what if i accidentally kill one of my friends for real for real okay my other note is i think i just need to do meth and that's the last thing i thought to myself at 2 45 a.m that i thought was necessary to right now and i say that because um i don't know i need excitement in my life i actually think i'm gonna go see a psychologist um i decided last night go to a psychiatrist and get legal meth adderall y'all

are all taking meth i don't want to go to a psychiatrist because i don't want to like be given anything but i want to go to a psychologist because i want them to tell me what's wrong with me and i want to see if something's wrong with me and i will bring back my results don't you worry should we do that together yeah unless they're actually frightening then you will never hear about this again but i need to know what's wrong with me i genuinely cannot describe in words how i feel i literally feel like my brain has half of its power So me and Inya have been watching some stand-up comedy recently with Josh. And it has been genuinely scaring the fuck out of us and, like, making me think very, very weirdly. Okay, they're alive. The neighbors are alive.

Okay, good. Has been making me think very, very weirdly about comedy in general and performance in general. And it's specifically people bombing that makes me very, very uncomfortable. But like also like on top of that, like the persona, a lot of these comedians take up like as part of their like character because they're performing. Like they're that don't think they act like that in real life. And if they do, it's a character that they've got lost in um but yeah i like it's just been freaking me out all of it has just been freaking me out and we watched an episode of this like podcast um comedy thing and there was a guest judge on there or not even a judge. There was a guest on there that like he was freaking us.

Dude, it was so bad. And like it was so bad for my brain because right before we watched it, we had watched Eric Andre and we watched the first. It still holds up. It's still so funny. But we watched one episode and then I was like, dude, I'm sorry to do this, but I have never watched that show high. And I was like, if this is funny to my sober brain, I need to see how my high brain reacts to this.

So I was like, I'm going to take an edible and we're going to like, let's watch something else for 30 minutes and then we'll watch this. But what ended up happening is we watched an hour and a half of this show, which I'm sure if people watch it, they'll know what the fuck we're talking about but i'm not saying the fucking name of that show um i know i don't want to say it either i'm like no um i want to bully that little man um but nasty fucking blazer like nasty blazers we ended up instead of just watching like a mr beast video or something we ended up in this hour and a half journey of literally watching somebody go through they're like i don't even know what the fuck it was but because i was high we started it when i was sober and then right when this guy started tweaking

and fucking freaking the fuck out i was getting high and then it was freaking me out and i literally at one point he's like i'm to shut up because my edible is hitting. But he didn't shut up. He just kept getting like crazy. It was really, really dark. It literally felt like I was watching myself or something like I was like, oh, my God, have I ever acted like this? Like, this is really insane. And it was just did it was freaking me out. Like, yeah, it was just dude.

I yeah, it's just something you have to see and you'll never see and like you already know yeah it's oh my god it was so scary like stand-up is so weird and then like we watched the eric andre show so funny but then we moved back to stand-up and it was freaking me the fuck out like i genuinely couldn't understand not that i couldn't understand the jokes but it was just making me feel so weird like people gathering in a room to watch someone tell jokes is such a weird concept and like they all hold them like the comedians on such like a high pedestal and like when they don't make you laugh like you freak out and you get angry and it like just makes me so uncomfortable like it literally makes me so

uncomfortable when someone's saying a joke and it doesn't make me laugh even though i'm not there like i'm literally watching a video of this and then i think about how it's our job to be funny and i'm like what the fuck does that mean we're like oh that is so weird it was just dude it was really freaking me out like i literally there shouldn't be videos of people doing stand-up on the television for for real on the television on the telly on the telly love oh yeah i shouldn't have access to seeing someone bomb like there shouldn't be that shouldn't be recorded and put on the internet that is honestly the most evil thing ever which is brave of me to say because most of this podcast is like there's at least 10 hours of me just bombing and not doing well so brave of me to say that but like oh dude it was just freaking me out it was really

really scaring me and then it was crazy because i was thinking about how i just have a hard time lying so i just couldn't reply to you because it would hurt your feelings um but fuck what the fuck was i gonna say oh my god sorry oh it's also was freaking me out because i was just thinking about how like we're moving into this era of AI and wondering if laborers like people like who like people in my family who like do construction and like labor and physical work I wonder if they'll well I don't know that they'll be working by the time this switch happens but we've talked about this how with the uproar of AI and it's going to be able to take so many jobs, a really important job, or at least what we're assuming will be laborers, like people who know have physical talents, physical things they can create. They can do they can build houses. They can build a table.

They can do all these things. Yeah. things yeah and then because of that and because of watching stand-up i was just thinking about how being like a jester and a fool used to be such a low-grade job um it used to be this thing that was a mockery to society there's always been entertainment but like i feel like there was a point where actors and plays and like all these things and all these other forms of artistry which is again brave to call comedy artistry um to a certain extent i think it is yeah to a certain extent for sure but like because entertainment in general is art yeah uh entertainment is art but whatever that's a whole other conversation but like it used to be like oh the king's jester this fucking idiot who you

just drag into the room and you fucking they don't get paid anything they're like just a ball and chain and you're like oh you stupid fuck do a dance to think that it went from that to being people get paid so much to go on world tours where they're just on stage telling jokes was really freaking me out and then i was like damn dude things change so. And now people who aren't funny have comedian in their bio on IG. That is true. That is very true. Now people who aren't naturally funny won't shut up.

Someone's going to be like, yeah. Yeah, us too. Like, yeah, I'm so funny. I just gave you an easy blow. That's how funny i am is i gave you like an easy blow a little lob um but yeah that's it i'm just feeling existential i guess today and i need the sun to come out or i actually think something really really really really really fucking bad is gonna happen to me yeah hello i'm sitting right here i'm the bad thing right here. I'm the bad thing. I'm the bad thing. I'm the bad fly.

Did you make that up? No, Josiah did. That is really good. I'm the bad fly. Do you get it? That's something like Weird Al would make in like 2003. We need Josiah back on because Josiah is literally such a hoot and holler you know i don't think people want to see josiah again but you know you have no choice it's our podcast and not yours someone said i was the katya and that india was the tricksy um and it ate i want tricksy and katya

on this show because i'm sexy and scary yeah and that's the dynamic that you call tricksy not sexy she's i didn't say she's not sexy i said she's scary tricksy or no no no no katya is hilarious but can we agree she's scary yeah but she's scary the way you're scary because I don't think either of you are real people I need them on the podcast separately we could probably do it because I think they're with the same company

it says go into the genreverse into the genreverse you go what the fuck are you saying I just got a thing that popped up um the hell was that hey the loudest notification ever just played hello by beyonce um the big dream david lynch um i chiefa dj paul let's make a stain mc mac um oh no no no i'm not giving you that one i've already given that one motion three by roan that's my media and then um i'm watching last season at succession pretty good Pretty good. Pretty chill. Pretty good.

Best show ever. Come on. I've never seen it. Watch Mob Psycho. Well, I've been watching The Muppet Show. Hello. No one's talking about The Muppets anymore. That's where I'm at.

I'm watching The fucking Muppets. And then my songs are Goodbye Again, Johnver arthur's theme christopher cross is that love todd ruddington and then um i go to rio but the muppets version i don't want to go to rio i said no no no, no. This is mine. Did you start that because of Josh or did Josh start because of you? Dancing. Josh randomly brought up the Muppets to me and I don't think he realized I was obsessed with the Muppets when I was younger. So then I was just like talking to him about the Muppets show because he was watching the Muppets movies. And I was like, have you seen the show? And he was like, no, I didn't know there was a show.

So then we went on a deep dive together of just watching the Muppets. And then in one of the episodes, they did this one. And I hadn't seen this episode. One day we'll have Josh on here, but he's a big vagina baby and won't be on the podcast. Josh is a loser and won't be on the podcast josh is a loser and won't be on the podcast you hear that i don't think he's here anymore no he's here i could hear him back there laughing and the ghost leaving his body the ghost of josh left his body because we could have him on to talk about great things like the muppets same with orion she's a big loser she's a loser you know what it is is i will say i think for most people podcasts are really scary and i understand why because you have to fill an hour with talking

and most people don't realize that it is it's annoying to be like it's a taxing thing but it's annoying to be like, it's a taxing thing, but it's not the easiest to not only talk, but hearing yourself talk for an hour straight back for the first time is really jarring because all you do is overanalyze yourself and listen to the words you say and the way you form your sentences. And it's really easy to be like, wow, I am one of the most unintelligent humans walking the fucking earth. I should never speak again again and i think most people are scared of that um but i think we'll get orion on this summer no wait actually are you sad pride when this comes out pride is almost over it's like halfway over you mean the deadly sin month pride month the deadly sin i don't know that oh i oh my god wait pride is actually one of this seven

deadly sins yeah let's talk about I mean but no a different pride a different this I mean like LGBT pride though pride month out and look in the middle you'll see your answer D LGBT BD demon oh crats all of the demon crats out there the liberals you know wait what's the name of that one guy who was like my wife is it does it get wet uh ben shapiro you serve ben shapiro when you start talking about fraud yeah i don't fuck with that crap um it's really just not that i just think it's like weird to even like talk about it like that you could just have a stance where i mean if you feel it has nothing to do with you just like let it happen and let people enjoy themselves and express themselves absolutely fucking not okay i mean you just fill your time with being hateful the illuminati hello

the illuminati is gonna get us wait i don't know if you saw this tiktok i sent you like 18 tiktoks and i don't think you watched any of them i watched them all this one is what you're serving this is what you were serving about last i watch every tiktok every single person sends me because i'm a good person you're just like on your phone like that like i am screen time at 16 hours challenge yeah try to beat it fuck where is this tiktok dude oh i think the one i'm trying to show you oh oh wait maybe i didn't send it to you. It's like that lady. Oh, this one. This one's literally you when you start talking about pride. Oh, it's unavailable.

The video is gone. Flop, flop, flop era. No, it is. Fuck. It was a lady like she was just somewhere else. And she was like, my neighbors are watching me through the walls. They're sending signals through the walls. Oh, I saw that. I saw it screaming and yelling the signals through the walls.

I saw it. Yes. That's you in Pride. And I said that was Josiah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Thank you guys for watching.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Outro Music