Emergency Intercom - stink portal

Episode Date: April 11, 2025

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It's a Big Deal event. Nice. Now the offer? Lease a 2025 Escape Active All-Wheel Drive from 198 bi-weekly at 1.99% APR for 36 months with $27.55 down. Wow, that's like $99 a week. Yeah, it's a big deal. The Ford It's a Big Deal event. Visit your Toronto area Ford store or Ford.ca today. Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Bring back my girls. This weekend is Coachella and shocker to nobody

and nobody gives a fuck but we're not going. Couldn't be me, Coachella's ran through. Oh, daddy's going. If you go to Coachella, you're ran through, you're a piece of shit, you're ugly. Yeah, such a piece of shit. What were you saying, Kai? Daddy's going.

Oh. That lines up. That tracks. No, you saying, Kai? Daddy's going. Oh. That lines up. That tracks. No, I actually like- I'm kinda jealous. I'm genuinely jealous of people who can be in big crowds and not be terrified and petrified for their life. Like that sounds, I guess you're petrified.

I get scared. So what are you doing there? I get scared. I'm gonna try to do it sober this year cause last year I drank and I'm scared it's gonna be really scary for daddy. Yeah. Can you stop saying that?

What? Coachella? You're annoying. And then talking about you being daddy. Oh, why? Because that's like the farthest thing. I mean you do get daddy, you are really daddy as fuck. And I give office siren but we can talk about that. I wouldn't rely.

My mom liking your Instagram. Kai put on his story office siren and it was a selfie of him and my mom liked this No, but I'm not kidding I I've been thinking a lot about the fact that I'm not going because I'm jealous Cuz I'm gonna go the thing is it genuinely, it sounds fun, but my brain just can't. I can't, I can't. Don't back up. Oh my God, that was real. Well, since Inya yells at me right now,

she destroyed my brand new bed. Fucking destroyed it. Oh my God, I'm in a fucking river. I already replaced his fucking sheets. No, no, no. He called his mommy this morning to tell on me. And I, yeah. So we've been painting a bunch.

We, that's funny. Oh no, no, no, I've been painting. I've been painting, but Inya used red oil paint in a painting and spilled it on our hardwood floor in our new house. And it has been sitting there for about a month now and every single time I'm in there I'm like oh watch the oil paint watch the oil paint and I was like maybe one day she'll clean it up maybe no it gets all over my socks

I track it through the house I clean it up. Look at me look at me I don't give a fuck that's me rolling my eyes rapidly if you're listening and you're not watching I rolled my my eyes, look at me rolling my eyes. I don't give a fuck. And every time I'm in there I'm like, oh, and you'll watch out, don't step in it. Well, she stepped in it yesterday and got it all over her sweats and her socks.

And I was like, oh, be careful, be careful. Whatever, she changed those socks and the sweats. Everyone hates the freedom of an artist who goes with the wind. She changed those socks and sweats. Well Everyone hates the freedom of an artist who goes with the wind. She changed those socks and sweats. Well, then she put new socks on. And I don't know when she stepped in a chunk again, but she stepped in a chunk. Also, it was me, Inya and Josh in my bed.

And we were like watching this like person that I found because I famously love finding like weird people on the internet and absorbing all of their life force energy and making it a part of my life. But she was sitting in my bed and like, I saw red marks in my bed and I was like, oh my God, she got oil pan on my bed. But I'm in a good place mentally. So I didn't crash out. I just made a little joke and you did replace it within three minutes. I'll give her that. But Josh was in there with us and the way he literally thought you free bled on my bed, he thought I fully started my period because he was out of bed.

Yeah, he jumped back and he was watching me and Drew interact. And we were like just being annoying, like Drew just doing exactly what he's doing in front of you. Oh, my God. You ruined my bed. Like, I mean, I literally don't give a shit, but I know. But it's literally just the way we talk to each other. And Josh was watching. But it seemed like I had my fucking period on my bed to him.

And I wonder how we should ask him what he thought because I'm sure and he said he was like damn no the way she gave a fuck the way she or the way he jumped out of bed and stood like 25 feet away from you because he thought it was your period and you had her stinky fucking period in my bathroom this morning dog surgery 2.0, no last night, like, Inya, I have her periods in my brain down pat. Like I know exactly when Inya's starting her period. Eww, you like snapping. Yeah, no, he supports men supporting women.

Yeah. I don't know that that's supporting women. Wait, there's not enough support for men. There's not enough men randomly in your day to day life being like, I think you're gonna get your period soon. Like that's exactly what this is. But I will say, Drew is good. I'm in tune with your bronzing.

No, it's not my bronzing, it's my fricking toot. I've got a little toot on me. There's not enough male speculation about female Yeah, female infamous emphasis on the female. Mm-hmm No, I'm really in tune with her uterine lining and when it spills out of her body because it's like the universe speaking through Me to you if that makes sense. It's like a week before I hate myself. I'm ugly. I'm crashing out. I'm freaking the fuck out Like I always am freaking out but oh I am freaking the fuck out and I genuinely am spiraling And then i'm always like oh you might be starting your period soon next morning like clockwork

We should get that machine out and connect it to us Again, you want to be on camera coming so bad. No, no, no, we don't i'm just saying it would be cool We don't we don't really use it. So maybe we could use it more. There is something deeply, deeply inside of you, like deep inside of you. Yeah, it's true. That OK, no. And see, that's what I'm talking about. That was sick. Yeah, I can't make it.

That was there. There's something inside of you that is terrible. Me, Drew, I'm terrifying. Drew Phillips more like Drew fills them up. Drew fills, yep. Did you come up with that? Just now, yeah. Oh.

Drew Phillips drew fills people up. People up. With joy. With good dick. With girthy dick. Ew, dude, that's fucking disgusting. Wasn't your nickname in high school Drew Dick App dick appointment Phillips? Yeah, I famously had a seizure while getting head.

That was a rumor they started about you, huh? I didn't have rumors like that. I got asked if I was a lesbian in front of my class. That was the kind of shit I was gonna go to. Well, I also had that because I decided to wear fucking overalls, short overalls with a pastel geographic undershirt, my glasses and Adidas superstars

and I wondered why people called me the F slur. You looked like a mother brother who didn't play about a Rugrats free vlog. No, I really did not play with my aesthetic vlog at all and I wondered why I got called the F slur. I mean, yeah, I was wearing ripped skinny jeans, white Doc Martens, a flannel around my waist, and I had long red hair that I only wore

in a side braid for a full year. And it was a ginger color, it was red, so I'm not really shocked that anybody had questions, because I had questions myself I was quarterback as a football player. Yeah, I was the quarterback superstar with his letterman jacket every day He still wears his letter jacket today Like he's wearing your high school varsity. That was like 20 years ago. Who cares? It was fucking sick Everyone was obsessed with me in the town

There was he's athletically very impressive. Yeah when Kai goes back to his neighborhood literally there's a parade more like gayborhood Okay, well I forgot about that I Forgot to talk about this last week. That was a really good transition. Thank you I forgot to talk about this last week. That was a really good transition. Thank you. I'm like. I would wait, see. I forgot to talk about this last week,

but someone came into my house. Someone came into, you are not coming to my house. And. Sorry, see I can't drink this Topo Chico because I'm about to get really burpy. Sorry, keep going. And mopped our floors and then poured the mop bucket floor water

down my 200 year old vintage sink. Not too much for my girls though. Like they were having fun, no? They poured the mop bucket juice down my sink which I'm like, oh, I love them. We key, we get down. But like that was a mistake that they should not have. No, I think they did that at the old apartment too. What we're talking about is our old apartment, we would get it cleaned by our landlord's friend because she employs all her friends. So everyone who comes to work on anything, I don't know them. I know them through my old landlord who like loves us.

Mind you, we would get it cleaned like once every seven months and they would always yell at us. They would always be like, you need to do it more often. Because this is... It's dirty. It's nasty. It's dusty. But I think they always put the mop stuff down the sink because all of our sinks are always fucked up. Permaclogged. Yeah, every sink is clogged.

And I don't think the three of us together can make that much hair. Because I've yelled at Inya, I've yelled at Josh, I've yelled at myself about shaving in the drains, just shave on the floor and then vacuum it up. Turns out they were just pouring mop bucket juice down the sink. So it was just like all of Azul's hair

that stuck to everything on the floor is just like in the sink drain. So we have fur lines sink. Yeah, the point I'm trying to make is they destroyed. They destroyed that sink. Like it was so bad that a plumber came in and was like, what happened? Like how did this

happen? He had to take my entire sink out of the ground. Like take the whole thing, the whole unit out of the ground to unclog it. Well, he said that. I don't have a picture of what was inside, but he said that he was taking my sink out of the ground. But based on this video, I'm thinking he was doing something worse, something far more sinister to my goddamn sink. While trying to fix it. Yeah. Let me find that. He was fucking the sink. He was fucking the pipe.

Well, no, literally. I'm not kidding. No, no, no, no, no, I swear to fucking God. Where's this goddamn fucking video before I crash out on a bitch? Like I'm literally don't like that. I really don't know. He says. oh, yeah I mean I'm telling you he fucked my sink in there and we don't have enough men like that on this planet anymore That's a real passion for cleaning pipes and this probably is fixed. Yeah, I was gonna say that

Oh, yeah It's probably from getting a big fucking furball out of your sink and feeling the joy that knowing you'll be able to brush your teeth In your own bathroom and the sink is fixed and I don't ask questions about how he got it done But I am pretty positive. He had sex with the pipes of my sink. That is insane I know I feel bad for clowning you but it really does sound like he's giving your sink the work Yeah, the the sink had to wipe its It really does sound like he's giving your sink the work. Yeah. And the, the sink had to wipe its, uh, butt crack after he was done with it. He gave the sink the type of head where it had to wipe its ass after.

You guys are fucking disgusting. Wait, Drew, are you okay by the way? Because I mean, I don't know if you heard there's a trade war. No way. Yeah. Trump started a trade war. No, like actual, actual trade. Like my trade on trade. Yeah., like actual trade. Like my trade. He's putting tariffs on trade, yeah. How am I gonna afford my trade?

That's what I'm saying. Well, the good news is you didn't have much to begin with. So it's kind of like if I started caring, it's like, I don't have trade in the game. You have trade. Or no, you don't have enough trade in the game to care. I'm genuinely like not okay. Like my trade, like what am I gonna do?

Yeah, there's 104% tariffs on trade now. No, how am I gonna do? Yeah, there's a hundred and four percent tariffs on trade now No, I'm how am I gonna paint trade? How I need to paint trade it's like a part of my life. I have a gay father We know this I've talked about this before Grew up. We know this we know this he's famously been married to Drew's mom 25 years 27 years 28 years. But he grew up, Rocky Horror picture on the screen the whole, our whole life. He also loves Broadway to a degree

that like not even I, a gay man can enjoy. Oh yeah, I will say, he comes to LA and the one thing he wants to do is go to shows. That's all he does in New York too. He's not coming to LA to see me. He's coming to LA to see the goddamn traveling Neil Diamond Broadway show because it's the last show. It's the last time I'll ever see it, which I'm like I did see that show and it was actually really good. But like, why did he see it in New York twice in Dallas once and now he's coming to LA to see it a fourth time like that's a gay man like I'm telling you that is That's all he does in New York too. Like I don't hang out with Drew's parents when they're in New York because all they're doing is going to fucking plays They go to like two a day. Yeah, but I love my gay dad And like one day he'll be brave enough to come out of the closet to me

This is why men can't enjoy anything if you like theater now you're gay. Yes. Like actually yeah. If you take selfies as a man you're gay. If you like theater as a man you're gay. If you have friends as a man you're gay. Yeah. What if I'm like feeling myself and I want to take a photo and post on Instagram? Why would you want to do that though? That's the real question. So other men comment sections saying you you look girls are not about to be like you look so good. You know, it's going to be your boys in your comments. Like it's not going to be the girl is always Mason. I know Mason is going to hype both like even the way y'all hype each other up men hype each other up in the gayest way ever. It's such a joke for girls because girls do it too. But I'm like bro, we're like men the way y'all compliment each other up in the gayest way ever. It's such a joke for girls because girls do it too. But I'm like, bro, we're like men.

The way y'all compliment each other is really freaky. I was doing my laundry while they were like in here before we got to the episode. Wait, Kai, do you do laundry? Yeah. Gay. Yeah. Do you do dishes?

Yes, I do. I enjoy it. Gay, do you eat kiwis? Yeah. Bisexual. I don you eat kiwis? Yeah. Bisexual. I don't like kiwis. Do you sit out in the sun? Sometimes when I'm cold.

Oh, that's straight. That's really straight. That was straight. That was straight. That was borderline geriatric. Yeah, that was like too much. That was too much. Like, I don't know how to describe it.

Like, you should be going in the sun because like it's fun and the sun is going to make you happy and it's going to bring some color to your life. Not because I realized that I haven't moved all day and I'm cold to my bones. My bones feel cold. The thing is, even if that's what it is, you need to lie to yourself. I've been lying to myself a lot and it works so well. It works like a charm.

I just genuinely, I'm like, today's gonna be the best day ever and it could be the worst day ever, but I'm like, wow. I have been going on a lot of walks recently and y'all bitches were not lying about walks. Like every, like I'll be like having the worst day ever and I'll go on an hour long walk and come back home and life is good, God is good. I've avoided my cardiologist for three years,

dodged all the calls. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, still dodging them. I'm not even kidding, they still call me every once in a while. Well, cause also- They're probably just gonna tell me I have a fucking heart murmur or something

and that I'm fine, but like just be careful. And I'm like, no, they're just gonna try to get me to stop fucking vaping and I'm not doing that. You say your cholesterol is too high, eat healthy, no. I mean, yeah, I will say all the advice I've gotten from doctors that I could think about, although I felt stupid, it was good advice. I'm just tired of going to the doctors

because they're so annoying. I'm always there because of the bugs in my skin and then also, well, my roommate is a battery and I feel like I could probably... A battery? Yeah, he's a battery and he's always like recording me and stuff and then he'll follow me like he's recording me out there and so I'm always like telling the doctors like he's a battery like he's a circuit board like he's a part of like a larger computer and he's the power. And they're so annoying. They're like, please go back to your room.

Please go to the hospital. The real reason I can't like, cause I feel like you're really good. He's a battery. He's a battery. Calling a person a battery. He's a part of the motherboard. Wow. That was like the hardest

I think you've ever made us laugh. Like, congrats. I think it was actually. No, that was so. And you're sitting back like made us laugh. Like, congrats. I think it was actually. And you're sitting back like, I'm going to. Yeah, I feel good about that. I'm going to put that into the YouTube episode. Like, honestly, I gave you permission because I was funny as fuck. Hey, guys, we want to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, Shopify.

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That's rocketmoney.com slash intercom today. That's rocketmoney.com slash intercom. Fuck, what the fuck was I gonna say now? See, now I take it back, bitch, because you've thrown me off my trail of thought. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I tell them I got diagnosed with low vitamin D? No. Yeah.

You got peak output on a crazy. I got put on a mega dose of vitamin D, which is just a doctor coming over here and railing pipe and giving me back shots three times a day. You have a at home doctor who just comes here to fuck you? Yeah, no, I literally went to the doctor, got my blood work done, I do it every year for my birthday. Clean on everything.

Clean on everything. I have syphilis. No, but get my blood work done every year. I accidentally, oh my fucking God, wait I can't believe I forgot to tell this. So we all know that about a year ago, I went to a doctor and they just somehow lost my fucking blood.

Like they sent my urine for urinalysis, but the blood they took just vanished into thin air. And I never got the results for my blood. That's actually how a lot of movies get their blood. Write that down. Write that down. No, I really think they cloned me. And I think like something sinister or dark is going on.

I think they sold my blood to the black market, but they lost my blood. Well, I booked an appointment and then when I pulled up, I was like, oh my God, this is the same fucking clinic that lost my blood. Well, I clocked their shit. I was like, yeah, last time I was here, they were like, have you been here before?

And I was like, yeah. And they were like, did you get your blood taken? What was the results? And I was like, I did get my blood taken. Y'all didn't give me the results. Like what the fuck? And they were like, oh, well, we have the results right I was like I did get my blood taken y'all didn't give me the results like what the fuck and they were like oh well we have the results right here you're negative and I was like yeah fucking right don't lie to my fucking face right now but whatever they took my blood everything

was chill except I had high cholesterol and low vit- violently low vitamin D like like a scary- how many milligrams did you get put on? Cause they gave him like- I, I, well, first they were like, oh, like, they, they were like, your vitamin D is so low, you can't just take a vitamin for this. Like you have to take this prescription strength vitamin D. Haven't been taking it by the way, because like- Oh my God.

I'm scared of it like destabilizing me. No, what's destabilizing about it is you are like, you don't have any vitamin D one time drew out these vitamins Because he doesn't leave the house, which is like whatever no No, I don't like it too much on you But one time he got into taking vitamin D and he stopped taking it because he said that's just not normal It made me feel like so happy for a few hours and then I crashed I'm like, yeah

It's because you were fucking like you don't have sufficient amounts of vitamin D to keep you fucking stable, ho. Yeah, no. So you should take your vitamins or I'm gonna start taking them. I go outside enough. I wanna know what ODing on vitamin D is gonna do to me. That's kind of my- Oh, I can show you that.

Come on, that me up. You're lucky I don't know where the fucking bottles are. I thought they were right there. No, they're gone. Come on, that me up No, they're gone I got rid of them But yeah, so I have low vitamin D and I don't know where I was going with that story. Oh, I started taking walks Oh, they said they said okay Like take this vitamin D and then go outside in the Sun with 80% of your skin exposed so I've been going on walks with with 80% of your skin exposed. So I've been going on walks with like 30% of my skin exposed, but really, really like they're,

they weren't lying about those walks. Like I feel after a walk, I'm so high, I'm so up. I'm like, I'm just baseline, but I just function. Yeah, I function at like a level that's below low, just day to day. So when I get that good vitamin D, I'm baseline and I feel good. But I think I'm gonna start taking the vitamin D. But also I don't feel like I even need to because I get I feel like I don't need to because the sun

in my room literally sunburns me. I know I will say now I don't know if that's gonna be I mean you should just sleep with no sheets on and sleep the other way so your whole body is covered in sun. But I've been sleeping in Drew's room every fucking night. We actually haven't, we haven't, we've slept together more than we haven't slept together. Yeah, ever since we moved, we've been, especially ever since you got a bigger bed,

we've been sleeping together every fucking night. Love that. And I always accidentally end up cuddling Inya. Or vice versa. There's no accidents here though. I did cuddle Orion on accident. I just think if I'm sharing a bed with somebody, just be open to that because that's gonna happen.

Also, we have been doing this thing recently where I make Inya hug me for 22 seconds because it promotes oxytocin and a bond and it like makes you feel good. I just got sent this thing today that was talking about how- Or a seven seconds kiss. Your choice.

One's gonna be faster. One will feel better. I kind of think thes. Your choice. Yeah. One's gonna be faster. One will feel better. I kind of think the hug would feel better. I'm famously a good kisser. Famously, I mean, famously. He is really good at kissing. Ew, you guys are fucking disgusting. The way that I left a snail trail

the last kiss you gave me, a male snail trail. Anyway, I read this thing that was talking about how if you cry in front of somebody during like a vulnerable moment, it releases a bunch of oxytocin. Oxytocin. Oxytocin. Yeah, I've been taking a bunch of oxytocin recently

to like promote confidence. I just can't stop taking it. I just can't, every time I stop taking it, I like break out in sweat. And I shake. I shit out of my ass liquid. My bones feel like they're rattling inside my pain. It feels like a hangover that never ends, but also it's like break out in sweat and I shake I shit out of my ass liquid my bones feel like they're rattling inside a hangover that never ends but also it's

like a hangover but I accidentally did like a k2 yeah and I see like babies crawling on the ceiling like a hallucinate bad so then I just take it and I feel better it's like really crazy actually guys I went through opium withdrawal at one point in my life, suck my dick and balls. Like literally, actually. I mean, opioids are lucky they haven't seen me coming because y'all will lose me. You don't never want to lose me,

but you never want to lose me. Wait, Drew, do you know the guy, you know it's like this bald guy with a beard that says crazy shit about like his penis? Oh, his stink portal? Yeah, do you know what that guy's name is? I wanted to pull it up. No, I don't know what his name is.

Because he's always talking about going in the sun. I've been liking all of his posts on IG recently. Let me look at this. And actually, you know what's so funny? Oh my God, is I'll be scrolling through my Reels on my side account that I follow him on and he likes literally everything. Like he likes every video ever.

It's like really crazy. That's kind of amazing. I want to get more into liking things. I'm not even kidding. Like liking things on Instagram and TikTok because I'll see something that I like, but I don't like it. And I want to just get into liking.

Guys, we should spread the love and go and like all of my IG pictures right now. It's Will Blunderfield. This is him, right? Yeah, I found his IG. Oh, I just had a beautiful release of hummus. Ew, I hate this guy. It smells so mushroomy. EWWW! I actually that makes me so mad that's fucking disgusting like that is disgusting that fucking repulsive

Every once in a while a picture of his will pop up on my feed and it's like him playing the piano naked on stage In front of like 500 people 17 years ago and I'm like, what is his life? But he talks about his stink portal and that guy should- That is disgusting. Is that what he's calling his fucking weiner?

His butthole. Oh man. And he thinks guys should like hook up more often because it promotes masculinity. I mean, yeah. And like getting another man's semen inside of you is like the most masculine thing you can do and it promotes-

Calling him hummus is crazy. Yeah, getting his hummus inside of your stink portal. I mean like honestly to each their own But I can see where he's coming from on that idea. What do you got in your notes, babe? What do you got to say crazy? Yeah, I need to know what you got to say. Okay. Well first of all I need to acknowledge my fucking name the elephant in the room like my nails I need to talk about these nails I haven't had nails for so long and I did not intend on getting nails Let alone fucking aquamarine cat eye shiny nails that are coffin shape, which I don't think is my or almond shape

Which I don't think is my shape. I see I like that shape on you. I think Well, I like I don't hate them I'm actually really glad with the decisions I made. I got French tiptoes and aquamarine ass, fucked in nails. No, actually, I literally hate that shape on you because like when you're playing with my butthole, it like literally hurts so fucking bad. I'm not kidding. Don't look at me after you say that.

There is no amount of money you could pay me to go anywhere near a man's butthole. Even mine? No, no, no. Really? No, no, no, no, no. My stink portal? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, I honestly, I'm not gonna push back on that because I agree. It's just disgusting. Buttholes, dudes, hooking up with dudes is so fucked up. Okay, no, girl, I didn't mean it all like that. That's just not my cup of tea. That's fucking disgusting to me personally. I would

just never go near a man's fucking butt.'s fucking nasty I just like I think naturally I think men are dirty but I just always like felt that in my I we men are nasty and dirty yeah stinky but your nails oh I was taken but I bite my nails really bad and I just can't stop unless I have my nails done. But I just can't stop coming. I just can't stop coming. But my nails were really gnarly. So my friend took me to get my nails done.

My friend being rain. And I was like, okay, I'm just gonna go in and get like a regular mani-pedi. And I went in and then I was just kinda like. How did this happen? Bro, that's what I'm saying. I think you asked for these and you're trying to cover it up. No, no, no.

OK, so here's how it went. My nails were really fucked up. How the fuck did this happen? My nails were really fucked up, bro. And I don't do nails anymore for my own personal reasons, whatever, like decisions, decisions in this life, I'd rather have short nails. But.

Why? Did you get those nails? Okay, thank you. But yeah, I went in there and I was like, honestly, I would like a longer nail. Like I haven't had long nails in a while. Like I'd be down for a long nail, but I usually get like a coffin shape.

And then I showed my nails to the girl and I was like, oh, can I get extensions or just something short? I was like, I want something really short. And she just looked at my hands and she was like, no, almond. And I was just like, what? And she was like, I think for your hands, short almond shape.

And then I was like, okay. And I just let her do it and she just did it. And then I was looking at the colors and I was looking at some glitters and then she pointed at this one or a really bright red version of this. And I just was like, oh, I don't know. Like, I don't know.

And I couldn't decide. And she kept asking me. So then I just pointed to the blue and I was like, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do that one, I guess. Like that, that's a good one. I don't know and I couldn't decide and she kept asking me so then I just pointed to the blue and I was like that's what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do that one I guess like that's a good one. I don't know, she told me to do it so I fucking did it. Like I'm really easily, I'm really like it doesn't take much, I'm just like sure, I'll go with the wind.

And honestly like I knew when I said yes, I had like 30 minutes to back up on that decision but I was too much of a pussy to be like actually I don't like your idea. I don't want to do your idea I was wait wait, can you not use that word? It's really degrading towards women. Oh What which one the P word? What word did I say I don't you said pussy Kai watch your mouth Sorry keep going I'll allow you to keep going. And thank you for calling me out.

I'm not allowed to say pussy. But fuck, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. And then I just left and I felt fucking insane because I've never had a color like this and I've never had French tiptoes. And I'm just like, I feel bad shit crazy, but at least it's going to be sunny this week. I know it really is. The sun is out. The sun is out. I was like, damn sunny this week. I know, it really is. The sun is out.

The sun is out. Even that nail salon, I was like, damn, this is how I know, I've kind of gone un poco loco because this is never something I would have done, but I'm kind of into it. I think I wanna go get them replaced with French tip. Why don't you just paint them a different color?

You know nothing. That was the craziest thing you could have ever said. You know nothing. If only it was that simple. If it was that simple. You are small. You are fucking weak. I could destroy you.

Idiot. You're an idiot. Inya yells at me like that. She calls me small and weak. Oh my God. Oh, now I'm the bad guy. What? She says, you're small, you're weak.

I'm so mad about that. She says, you're small, you're weak. She says, you're small, you're weak, your jaw is too wide. Your haircut is fucked up. Wait, Kai, how do I look today? Really good. Oh my God, your hair looks really good and your skin looks super clear. Also, you look beautiful as well.

I haven't washed my face in three days, just with water. I've decided that I wanted to stop you. That is literally a lie. I washed my face in three days just with water. I've been uh, I've decided that I wanted to stop you. That is literally a lie. I washed my face last night. Never mind. I'll take that back. You know what's fucked up is I know what road you're going down and that's why I'm saying like it's okay if we're crazy people because this is just what it is. I know. Because I recently, I have for the past few months been in a mental state where like I am not buying anything for my self care. That's a whole other thing. I have body soap right now, cause I took it from Drew.

But there was genuinely like a week. What? You said the beaver? Well, he's not going to say the other word. Out of respect. Sorry, keep going. Yeah, Inya actually had- I had soap, I had bars of soap.

Inya has not been buying anything for herself. For the first time in my life, I felt, I feel like what it probably felt like for you when I didn't buy anything for myself for like a year. And you would just take my shit? Yeah, I would just use your shit. Yeah, because that's what I've been doing. I mean, I don't give a shit.

Like literally zero part of me cares, but like it is hilarious. But within that like spiral that's been happening this whole year, because it kind of started at the top of the year, maybe even later. Like after the holidays, like I just. Oh, doh.

Doh. Doh. I'm sorry, I haven't been buying that shit and genuinely there was a passing thought where I was like I was standing in my bathroom with looking and I was like fuck dude I need to make a list of things I'm missing because I'm at the point where like I just have all these expired creams and I'm like, I hope this works out I hope it pays off this time

Inya's wearing a skirt, what the fuck was that? Oh no, I didn't. Kyle. And my toes are out, which is crazy. What the fuck was that, Kyle? I didn't even think about that. Kyle. That was just a bitch.

That, oh no, was the realest thing. I'm reaching out your face on camera because you look so like. Kyle, that was so funny. Yeah, Kai you're really fucking weird. I was just trying to do a creepy bit, I don't know. I mean it wasn't a bit, it was just. It kind of just worked out in the end.

No Kai, that was hilarious. That was amazing. I'm glad you did that. You are so brave and bright and I love that about you. Dude, I immediately backtracked the second I thought, the second you were like, oh God. Fuck, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I went through the delusion

that I literally was like, maybe I was meant to be a more natural person where I only use one soap on my whole entire body and it's the same soap for my hair and my body And like my like maybe I just like stop doing like it literally was me going into a world of like these things are too worldly Like I was like standing around I was like No, that's good. Moisturizer is too worldly. No, I mean I've been doing- Moisturizer is not too worldly because we're kind of being sold the idea to stink because I think I'm going back to like the OG deodorants and shit.

That's kind of where I landed. So I don't. No, I was gonna say, I've been looking at my products recently and that's why I took like a small little break because I was like, what am I putting on my skin? What are these chemicals?

Like they're absorbed. Like this is my biggest organ and I'm just lathering it in fucking Kim's and cybernetics like literally what is going on I stopped buying all I had a for you to get hit from a vape before I hit my vape and drink that's why I like reeled back in my delusion because I was like this is too worldly and then I'd be like okay where's my weed pen where's my vape I'm gonna put both of those in my pocket. I think actually there's an argument that vapes and weed pens aren't of this world.

Oh, it's alien technology? It's either alien technology or it is God. It does feel like that. I kind of believe that technology is God. Like these cables are God. I'm certain to believe that. It does feel like some sort of foreshadowing to the singularity or something,

seeing somebody plug a vape into a laptop to charge it and then they inhale. I actually charge my computer with my vape. That's actually how I access all my memory. So you should quit while you're ahead. Yeah. Anytime I forget something, I just plug it into my laptop and I hit it

and I'm like, oh shit, I have texts to reply to. I just got all the notifications in my head, sorry. Drew, what happened? Something happened. He started thinking about technology. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. He literally, I already know that though.

That's why I had to break it, because I was like, dude, you guys are going down a path where Drew's actually gonna get scared. Like, he can't reel it in like me. Like, I can get a bit cuckoo and I'm like, okay, un poco loco, like, let's back up. Drew will go. He's gone. I just want his eyes dilated.

I literally got so scared. Drew's version of like his brain is that song that's like wild horses and instead of- Wild horses. Not the Sunday's one the fucking other one Prince one there are not the prince one and not the pre frap pre fap the AC DC one whichever ones on fucking tick-tock that y'all are going outside and recording to Drew's brain is that but wild horses is playing and it's literally like Ideas of horrors and robots taking over mankind. Yeah, it's less about robots and it's just more about existentialism.

I can just turn that off. That's what I do. I'm so jealous of that. No, I'm serious. I really, I can't. Of thinking? Of being able to turn it off. I was really starting to think like, oh, like meditation for me is broken.

Like I try to meditate and my brain runs free and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. I don't know where I was going starting to think like oh like meditation for me is broken Like I try to meditate and my brain runs free and da da da da da da da da. I don't know where I was going with that I Lost it Wait, I was gonna say something Dreams dreams Dreams My law across the land is what were you saying? What time did you charge you were like three baguettes?

Like you kept repeating to him your in and out order and you kept doing it like a prince and I could never like redo the voice you did. I literally have no idea what you're talking about. I want to ask Josh. I don't remember if it was you or Josh. It might have been Josh because that sounds way funnier coming from Josh. Do you remember? I think it was your birthday,

where we had this like fucked up order at In-N-Out. It was like 30 burgers or something. Yeah. And then you rolled down the window as like a girl who like knew about the podcast. Yeah. You were like fuck I can't order that shit. I felt so bad, cause it was like 400 burgers

and it was like for like 30 people and it was like. 30 people was also put, like it was our whole front group. Yeah it was like 30 people was also put like it was our whole front group which is maybe like 10 people. Yeah and then I got everybody burgers, paid for it with my card. Oh my fucking. And I didn't even get my fucking burger, someone ate my burger.

Oh also I went to In-N-Out, I was like you know what, like I'm gonna eat as fuck, like I'm gonna eat down. I haven't really been eating good this last week, like I'm gonna eat as fuck, like I'm gonna eat down. I haven't really been eating good this last week, like I'm gonna eat as fuck, like I'm gonna go crazy. And I have my order down pat, I get a double, I get a double with cheese, whole grilled onions, and then I get a Flying Dutchman with the grilled onions on the outside,

and I get cheese fries, and I get a Cherry Coke, and then I get three things of pepper. And what's your cholesterol at? Cholesterol and no vitamin D. Yeah, I have high cholesterol y'all, it's really bad. It's not. This was a night ago. It's not technically high cholesterol.

It's like 0.2 points above normal of this like protein or some shit that is attached to high cholesterol. So I don't have high cholesterol, but I claim I have high cholesterol because it's funny but I also get three orders of peppers because you can bite the tips off and squeeze this spicy juice on your burgers and fries and then I get two packs of spread. Well I did my whole order came home checked the bag no fries no cheese fries didn't give me my fries gave me a regular burger No cheese whole onions not grilled and then gave me just a slice of meat with a melted piece of cheese on top I

Did get my cherry coke no peppers What is this about? I get my cherry coke, no peppers. What is this about? Honestly, my vibe if I worked there. Literally, I would just be going crazy. I would have a pen in my back pocket and I would just be high as fuck making whatever the fuck came to my heart.

It's like that club penguin game or that cake making game, the pizza making game in Club Penguin. That's what it, but no, yeah, it is a complicated order and it's like whatever and In-N-Out has ran through and I really do feel bad for those workers every time I go through it. Because I don't know.

It is the most packed establishment on the fucking planet. Like I'm not even kidding like, like this saying they're braver than the Marines, like they literally are. Zamar worked at In-N-Out for a few years. Yeah I remember. And then he worked at Trader Joe's for a second too, after that.

Or maybe I'm tripping, I'm pretty sure he did. Well I'll just have like some almonds throughout the day and I'll be full. Yeah, I eat a couple ice chips. I'll have some water with ice. Kenya, you eat... I kind of eat whatever my fucking heart desires. Like I literally, like if something's around,

I'll fucking eat it out. I know. And I'll make fun of it and I'll eat it. You're in my era, like my garbage disposal era. I'm in my eater era. And I'm in your feeder. Yeah, you are my feeder. Drew always gets me food and then I just eat his scraps.

That's actually, I guess I kind of have been the garbage disposal this week. That's been my duty. As anybody who has food left around, I've just been eating it. One, two, three, four. Yeah! Riding a bike in the Ride to Conquer Cancer is like being part of humanity's greatest.

The money you raise, the time you spend, the energy that you give is helping people live, is giving people hope, and that's just so beautiful. Care of the fire for cancer research. Join the ride at ridetoconquered.ca. And also, I think if I'm gonna die from some freak accident, it's probably gonna be food bacteria or like something. Yeah, like botulism or some shit, because since I was a kid,

my biggest fear is putting something that's warm in the fridge too soon, and then I don't know really what happens. I just know people die from that shit. And I can't get myself to look it up because then I will think about it every waking moment. You're not supposed to put warm stuff in the fridge, you'll die?

If it's in a hot container because condensation and like it'll like speed up bacteria growth. It's like the temperature stays in the sweet spot for bacteria to grow longer. So you're supposed to wait for it to get room temperature and then put it in. I don't believe that. But also I grew up with a family who would make big tubs

of soup and leave it on the stove. And the way we kept it good was you would heat it up every day until you ran out. I mean, that makes sense to me. Yeah, you kill the bacteria. You're burning it. And that's why my immune system is so strong. Have I told them about the crows yet? Oh my God, no kill the bacteria. Yeah, you boil it. You're burning it. And that's why my immune system is so strong. Have I told them about the crows yet?

Oh my God, no, don't. There's been so many crows. Don't say that. Around this house. That. Like, and it's starting to feel like when I thought people were filming me through my window and the headlights were speaking to me.

There are so many crows around the house. I think you should definitely just look into the... I also got a picture of them. The, what's it called? I think it might be us in a past life. I'm a good omen, so I wouldn't worry about that. I think it also in that- Also it's famously spring and they might just be literally moving.

Oh yeah. I got a picture of them and I honestly think it might be us in a past life. Where is it? Or it might be us in every life. So the evil omen is the crows that have been following you around and you saw two crows and that's us.

But I saw them this morning. I saw them all day yesterday. I can't lie. Can we go bird watching? That sounds fun. Literally, please. Are you kidding me? I would Can we go bird watching? Literally, please. Are you kidding me? I would love to go bird watching. Everybody right now, I'm gonna put this. Oh, wait, no, those.

I didn't see anything else, but. You're so in a way. But no, I'm gonna put on this app that my mom showed me. It's called Merlin Bird ID. You put in like what, like area you live in or what area you're visiting. And you have to download bird packs like specific to like the region you're in.

And you click the record button and it listens for birds in your area and then based off of the bird call that the app hears it tells you what bird you're hearing and it's literally so that every time we go to Big Sur I like can identify all of the owls and the birds flying around. It's like sniffies for birds. What's sniffies? Yeah you're gonna have to explain. What's sniffies? No. You guys know what's, you know what sniffies is.

You especially. Is it like a Febreze thing? Like an air? No, it's like an app. Oh, it's if you're sick. No, it's like a, oh, it's like a tissue brand. It's like a food congestion. Oh.

Oh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, keep going. It's just, he's getting it. It's like this map. Wait, is my mic good? Sorry. I'm sorry. No, keep going. It's just he's getting it's like this. My mic good. Sorry I just like hold the cable. It's like this app where there's like penises and then you can like Go you can go suck them basically based off of like your radius. This is what I've heard. This is what you've told me But apparently pointing to me. So I'm just saying like we've talked about this one time off largemont

Do you know what is it's like burger lounge? I think. Um, I was really depressed in like 2018. We know this, but I would like go in there all the time and there's this really cute girl that worked at the cash register. And I was always like, she's really pretty, but straight up couldn't even make eye contact with her. One time I was there, when it was like pretty late, I was like the only one in the restaurant. And then she came up and was like, hey, like, do you want a free lemonade?

I just like made this if you want it. And then I was like, thank you. And I just like got up and left. But I always think about that whenever I, whenever I pass by the restaurant, I'm like, where is she? I fucked up, dude. You fumble. She fucking quit. You scared the fuck out of her. She was like, this guy who comes in here all the restaurant. I'm like, where is she? I fucked up, dude. You fumble. She fucking quit. You scared the fuck out of her.

She's like, this guy who comes in here all the time, I finally spoke to him and he took it and ran away. He's gonna come here tomorrow and fucking kill me. Yeah. No, that's sweet. I feel like that's one of those things where it's like how things sound when it's from somebody you like versus somebody you don't know well.

And it's that fucking TikTok we were cracking up. It's like, dude dude his weird ass drove 15 minutes out of his way to give me a fucking coffee like he knew my order and if that comes from someone you know it's like oh like that's literally so sweet. If someone drives 15 minutes to give you a coffee at work and it's someone you don't want it's if somebody does anything for me I question it because I have issues. But that's just me. Everything and nothing to me. Well, you should go back there and stalk her, I think.

This was years ago. She's probably like a CEO of some company now. Yeah, she's probably wild. And she's like, remember, she's gonna make one of those pictures, it's gonna be you. And it's gonna be like that time that I gave this sad guy, the lemonade that guy.

He's a motivational speaker now. And it's like the lowest point of her life was when she was attracted to cut. It was rock bottom for me. Also, you're such a tweak because I'm sure you could have spoken to her and I guess maybe all weren't meant to date. She probably found like a guy who could like build a table and stuff.

Yeah, she probably got a guy that can. Better days for her. Protect her and shit, which is fine fine I'm happy for her whatever. Every single night and every single night and every single day every single night in bed I grapple with the idea of if I should go to sleep or if I should spend $60 in bed every night. I guess, yeah, I mean, using your phone now is literally like, fuck, I really hope I use this and I don't buy something stupid.

Should I sleep or spend $60? Mine is a, should I sleep or should I actually, this wave of motivation and lust for life I have, should I sit on this and stay up all fucking night and have the best day of my life tomorrow? And then I usually end up going to bed at like 4 a.m. Have the best night ever. Chicken jockey.

Oh yeah, Minecraft moon-ry. Whoa! Okay, wait, actually have- What the fuck was that? Have y'all seen What's it called million dollar secret? Mm-hmm. You know, I haven't seen that. Well, I know you haven't seen a motherfucker I was asking this motherfucker. Why'd you look at you? I didn't want to the fucking question fine I'll just talk to Kai. Have you seen me? Okay, I'm gonna explain to you what it is

It's this reality show that from what I'm gathering is kind of like a copycat of just like a Jubilee or a mole game, whatever, whatever. The semantics of it don't matter to me. But it's basically one person has a million dollars and they have to lie to the whole cast that they're on this game show with about who has the million dollars and the last liar standing gets to walk away with it.

But the most interesting part about this fucking show is they give them these weird tasks. So they already have to lie to everybody that they know or they've just met, but they get these weird ass tasks that push them higher in the game. So like their vote will count for more. Just like they'll keep the money for longer, shit like that.

One of them was cracking me up because I was like, what? She had to mention, she had to get other members of the game to say the name Justin Timberlake out loud and I just want to know how y'all would do that because I want to know how y'all would live right now how would you get me to say that name oh I would be like what's the guy that had the DUI recently that did the press conference? I wouldn't know. Who's the guy that did like Dick in a Box with Andy Samberg, who was that?

I wouldn't know that either. Lady Gaga, that was Lady Gaga. Oh, I'm gonna see her at Coachella. I'm gonna see Abra Katova live. Wait, is she out there? Is she doing Coachella? I'm pretty sure. Yeah, she is. Saturday. Wait, since when?

Since always, that's why I'm like, we should maybe go. She's first Saturday. That would be really fun. Saturday, Saturday, Sunday. I can't do that. Just Saturday though? No, I can't. I don't think any, but like, I'm not kidding.

All of my negative projections onto the experience of Coachella come from the deep, deep truth that I just can't enjoy those kinds of things because I am actually petrified of being around that many people. Every single night. And that's why when I go to a concert I have to have like two drinks because I seriously think someone's gonna fucking kidnap me or stab me or push me or fucking kill me. This is how I would do it. Oh, what's the guy who has the song baby, his first name?

Justin. And what would you say is a tree that's by a body of water? Well the thing is you have to be not suspicious, so she had to get three, wait, what was the second part? A tree by a body of water. A tree by a lake. But what's another name for a tree? Oak.

Wood. Oak tree? Oak wood? I don't know. That's my middle school. Oak woods. Oak woods. We were the road runners.

I would say who's that guy that Drew sold poppers to that one time? Oh, Justin Timberlake. Yeah. Justin Timberlake. That is Justin Timberlake. But you have to get people to say it three times and also everyone who's playing the game with you is watching everybody.

Hyper aware. Oh. And another one of them was like, some crazy shit. It's, oh, you have to get three people to scream with you, but everybody's looking out to see who's fucking screaming. It's just such a good game and I wanna play it so bad, but I feel like I'd be like this one girl who who was just trying so hard to just like she hadn't been the millionaire yet so she had nothing to lose and she was like

I'm just gonna be like very transparent this whole game and everyone turned on her and she had a panic attack and then she left. No. It was really sad. I need to see that because I have this visceral like idea that if I was ever on one of those dating shows I would have a panic attack like idea that if I was ever on one of those dating shows I would have a panic attack on camera. Oh I could not think of a worse thing for me to be well I guess like live dating on camera dude. None of us would survive love island not a single one of them I don't know a single person that has the brain chemistry for love island like you really have to be about it

Y'all know about tradersaders? Traders, yeah, but like. It's resonating with me. I have to tap in. I just like, honestly, game shows are so good and this might be crazy, but I think I like the millionaire or what is it called again? Million Dollar Secret. I think I like it because it's the first time in a while

I have felt to my core that the producers are fucking with this game like they you every task is so pointed and like them just giving clues to these motherfuckers and you're watching everybody just like from one second to another be like Oh, okay. Like everyone is going insane and I am so curious and I also just like I love watching people lie. I love the way you lie by Rihanna. Well, if you love lying so much, you're pretty. That's to me is isn't even a bad lie because the correct one is I'm gorgeous. So pretty actually doesn't even pretty goes over my head. It's like pretty try again. And for me, I would be lying by saying like you are worthy

So I'm worthless Yeah, no, I am worthless guys today can we have an art and crafts day where we make each other motivational posters No, we need to go to the fucking gym. We haven't been to the gym in like three months each other motivational posters. No, we need to go to the fucking gym. We haven't been to the gym in like three months. So bad. You just sent me a shirtless photo in the gym. Why is he yelling at me to go to the gym?

That's the craziest part. Wow, yeah. Oh my God. We need to go to the fucking gym. That's the way he speaks to us. I also want to apologize for my radar for protecting women not going off just then. Because usually it's perfect.

And I apologize for my gaydar going off so crazy that you guys can probably hear it through my brain because y'all are so gay. Actually I hear nothing. I hear nothing and that's impossible so. Yeah we went to the Minecraft movie, well they didn't. I went to the Minecraft movie and it was lit. Okay me and Kai are gonna go see it. Yeah y'all have fucking fun. My friend saw it and she said that she had a really, really violently visceral sex dream about Jack Black. Ah. After.

Honestly, I can't even hate on that cause like I kind of feel it. I can get down with Jack Black. I would let him hit like easy. Yeah, I can get down with that. He looks good on SNL. Have you ever seen him when he's young on SNL? He's sexy.

Jason Momoa too, I'll let slide. No. But. I don't like that buff shit. The movie was fucking lit. It was really funny actually. Like I thought I was gonna be like go into it and just like laugh at how terrible it was.

It is a bad movie. Objectively it's a bad movie. But like if you let yourself love it. If you let your imagination run free. Like a Minecraft movie would want you to do. It was awesome. It was really really funny and I found out 30 seconds before the movie started that the guy that made Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre made Minecraft movie and that changed everything for me. I mean there were so many moments where I was literally actually laughing at that movie.

I need to go see it, but I just. I did wish I saw it after Saturday or Sunday. Saturday or Sunday. Because the hive mind decided the parts that they're gonna cheer at. It was a Barbenheimer moment where everyone was like, yeah, we're gonna have fun in this movie. People weren't really having fun yet.

And I would go see it again just to cheer in the theater. Everybody cheers at the AMC lady. That's like Gays People version of sports is going, is banding together over some weird ass movie and all going to the theater and screaming at the screen. That is literally the closest, that and the Fortnite shit. Cause Fortnite, they are one universe away.

The universe being Steven Universe from having the broadest range of gay people to ever play one singular video game. And I genuinely it lost me for a second, but they got the Sabrina Carpenter skin, the emotes, they have Adventure Time like. There's a there's a siren being yelled out by Epic Games for gay people to unite on Fortnite. And that's what I think of movie theaters. It's kind of like when gay people put on music videos

in their living room. To me going to see Minecraft is that, and it's necessary. So I need to see it. One of my friends recently asked me, they were at a gay night and they were watching music videos and they asked for my opinion. They asked for what I should put on. Oh my God.

That's amazing. What's the Lady Gaga music video that's like a short film? Telephone. Yeah. Is it for telephone? With Beyonce? No, there's like one where it's 12 minutes. I was watching with her. Telephone's Beyonce, or Telephone's 12 minutes.

Oh, okay. It's kind of like, She picks her up from jail. Yeah. Like she does the like, like when I speed up and she walks around, you know, like there's this one part where she's like, you know, exactly what I'm talking about. Oh my God, guys, a fucking Beyonce concert later this month.

Yeah. Wow. And you know what the scariest part is? I remember when that album came out and I was like, I don't even have to think about going to that concert for like so long. It's here. Here, I think last time when we went to Renaissance, I didn't really do too much with my fit.

I actually almost wore that shirt today, the like tank top that had my boobs falling out because my boobs shrunk. So I thought they would fit in that shirt and I bent over and my boobs were out, and I was like, this shirt is literally just not meant to be worn by me. But I think I want to go crazy with like a fit. I'm just, I think I'm like kind of losing it. Like I want, I'm bored.

I want to see what the girls are talking about. All you Coachella girls who get your fits together. I want to see what all the fuss is about, because you seem like the happiest people ever. So I want to start getting like really obnoxiously made outfits for events and they're not gonna be my events. It's for Beyonce's concert, but that's my first big boom moment. The last thing I wanna talk about is how humans think they were created in God's image but it was actually horseshoe crabs. They haven't evolved in millions and millions

and millions of years. They haven't changed a centimeter, a millimeter, and that's what God looks like. And doesn't everything evolve into a crab? Eventually, yeah. Yeah, they're like the most efficient physical embodiment. And that's why now they're sold at fairs. To little kids in plastic boxes. That's why we eat them. Yeah, that's why I actually have friends in Miami who vlog going down there and be like.

Their blue blood is the most expensive liquid in the world. Blue blood? Mm-hmm. This blood is really expensive and it's good for like medical medicine. Also, also, also,

also, if horseshoe crabs start evolving, that's when we know the damage we've done is irreparable. Wow. So when's the last time we've seen one of those motherfuckers? Cause I want to check out. I want to see what's going on. Let me know, let me know.

Yeah. Cause it feels like she's changing in her sleep and we don't even notice it yet. Also, actually this is the last thing I'll mention. This shit pissed me the fuck off in a crazy way. This really infuriated me. Like this pissed me the fuck off in a crazy way this would this really infuriated me like this pissed me The fuck off I got tagged in this video Way way too many times for it to be okay. This is it was bullying. It was bullying at that point

Like that's that's crazy You're saving up and feeling so alone I'll keep raising my hand And I'll come and get my head out So please don't let me down I'm so mad that I really said I'm gonna be sorry if you never I'll be right by your side I'm so mad that I really said I'm so mad that I really said I'm so mad that I really said I'm so mad That does remind me of you. Kill yourself.

Oh. You make me wanna kill myself! Wait, Anya B. Kai, I wanna focus on this. Fuck. Ew, Kai, that's fucking nasty. Like, actually, sometimes you, you, like, no. No.

I'm sorry. Ooh, let's go through the email and see what it says. That's fucking nasty. Like actually sometimes you you like no No, I'm sorry Let's go through the email and see if I can find some doppelgangers or some psyops Blake Bennett holding it down still I'm not kidding. He sent me like He said oh wait. This is us. This is one. He said on his own lesbian grinder is called finger Fingr Potheads will find any reason to smoke damn that bitch ugly. Let me roll up What's the what do you mean you saw Yoji on I can't stand smoking with paranoid bitches fuck you mean you saw Yoji Yamamoto? I can't stand smoking with paranoid bitches.

Fuck you mean you see Yoji Yamamoto in the corner? This is just a certified classic. Some of y'all AirPods, some of y'all's AirPods look like they were in your ass, not your ear. Classic, classic. Whoa, this one's good. This one's really, really, really good. You got money for Dubai chocolate,

but didn't pay your rent that was due by the first. Wow. Damn, these Thanksgiving leftovers are still hitting. True, it's April. Day, happy Easter! It's Easter this weekend. I think I need to do an Easter egg hunt, so that's kind of where I'm at right now.

But I just want to do it if somebody puts like a 20 in one of the eggs. I want like a 20 for free that I hunt. We can do that in the backyard. That'd be fun. Yeah, should we host like a little? We don't have grass but we can hide them. Yeah, okay Some of y'all aren't queer but you sure are lgbt lying gossiping and bitching well into your 30s

I've never seen queer eye for the straight guy, but I can only assume this trio Is that but I can only assume this trio is that. Kai would eat as like the guy that got nominated. Cause what is it? Is it like a guy makeover show? Yeah, it's like you nominate, it's not specifically guy, but like you nominate a person or a guy to be made over by like three or four gay guys. And it's like therapy, it's like clothes,

it's like hair. So it's like the nice version of a one not to wear. Yeah. The non-evil version. Him, that pussy is mine. Wait, him, is that pussy mine? Me, you are for sure a shaleholder. Foul!

Okay. I called a girl's bi boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse Those were from Yaly Okay. Well that was the episode of Oh no media media. My media is rather live. I play boy card in the weekend This is my life. Shirley Bassey relationships by Heim tonight pink pantherists Relationships by Heim, Tonight, Pink Pantherous.

I've been listening to Sufi and Stephen's Seven Swans and that is the saddest album. Oh my God. Yeah, I can't do that right now. Like, do you know the lore? No, and I don't know. Oh, it's really dark-sided. Look into it. I'm not, I don't want to like mess things up but like

Someone he falls in love with gets cancer and dies Futile devices though, I Always say I always say Stacey's mom makes me cry. That's the only song that's ever made me cry and will ever make me cry That's the only song that's ever made me cry and will ever make me cry Few tile devices made me cry the other day. I've been listening to white nights by psychic TV again. How does that one go? It's like Santa Claus is checking his this go Choices project path I I love you, I give you all my life Ooh

No one I really like choices by Project Pat and Lavender Bud Oh yeah I was lying awake and thinking about the nights we spent That's a sample of April Shower by the Blackbirds Under summer magic spell And when autumn came The love did not remain and made my world a living hell

Okay, well, see you guys next week! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no