Emergency Intercom - Stinky Clowns From Space

Episode Date: July 30, 2021

In this episode Drew and Enya question life, death, and space… Who said clowns can’t be existential! We also get insight on Drew’s bed habits (it gets stinky). Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm, like, so worried about my sister. Randy, you cannot marry a murderer. I was sick, but I am healed. Returning to W Network and Stack TV. The West Side Ripper is back. If you're not killing these people, then who is? That's what I want to know. Starring Kaley Cuoco and Chris Messina.

The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants. Killer messaged you yesterday? This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this. Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. Stream on Stack TV. Hello, it's Anya and Drew from the future cutting in again. Is this our second cut in?

Yeah. We're so cutty like that. We just wanted to let you know that we talk about some really deep and dark serious shit that may be a little triggering to some people. So we wanted to put a little warning in here. We speak on D-E-A-T-H. Nice, fella. That was hard for me.

But yeah, we just want to let you know. Just to let you know. It is not for the fragile of mind. And if you're not feeling your best mentally, maybe skip out on this. And we'll see you next episode. But for those of you who are brave, not brave, sorry, I'm saying the wrong words. So people who are afraid of death, they're triggered by death, aren't brave in you. Let's open that up.

Bye. Enjoy. Hello. Welcome back to the next episode of Emergency Intercom. I don't want to say a number because who knows? Who knows? You might have filmed three or four of these and scrapped them. Don't fucking kiss me, bitch.

Okay. You can't kiss my hands, only my lips. Ew, your face when I said that is so scary you know i want to um so we we decided we should open this episode up again about our mental health i feel like we talk about our mental health in every single episode because it's such a big part of our lives it like really does center of us literally affects us um so much and people are like why don't y'all post so often it's because we are literally mentally ill um but with that being said i woke up today after being trapped for three days in purgatory like mental purgatory where like i completely feel nothing i have

zero motivation like life just doesn't have that lust that you'd expect. And I woke up today and I was like, I feel fucking good today. And then I kept just repeating, like, I'm going to feel good today. Today is going to be a good day. And I, like, affirmed that. And I feel great. I feel awesome. I mean, it's only 1.30.

It can get worse. It can take a down. No, no, no. I agree, though. Like like with that ideology i was telling drew i think i've said it before online too and i probably sounded crazy but when when i was in that really bad depressive episode in 2019 i remember i was in miami and i was texting a friend and i was like i think i literally have to wake up and just convince myself it's going to be okay. Because like every day I wake up and my first thought is like, this is miserable.

I can't believe my eyes just opened and I can like see the world and I am here. Yeah, literally me for the past three days, I was like, I don't want to. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. But no, I woke up and me and Josh talked about it briefly last night. And I was like, no, it's like fully real. So like before, even before I went last night and I was like no it's like fully real so like even before I went to bed I was like tomorrow's gonna be a great day cause like it really is like what you

feed your brain like what you think about yourself is how you're gonna feel and I just thought good thoughts and good things are happening so let that be a lesson if you're sitting around like a little lazy sack of shit and you're like I'm depressed I hate my life.

Fix it. Literally just smile. Like just smile and fix your depression. Turn that frown upside down and it'll go away. All you have to do is just stop thinking about it. No, but it actually does help. Because I remember I would be like, okay, I'm going to like point out a positive thing that happened every day, even if it was the tiniest fucking thing. Because literally sometimes you'll be so deep into a depressive episode you're like literally clinging to nothing you're like oh no but like

my fucking cereal this morning like something about it was so good like i ordered cat food to the door like i have to wake up to get that yeah i i gotta go uh run my errand or my cat will die like something just clinging to anything and if you make those clings positive you might surprise yourself you might surprise yourself no like can we talk about how that tweet um cameron dallas tweeted like 15 years ago is like still haunting him to this day it's like still the biggest joke ever which one when he was like if you're depressed just smile like that was him all that shit came from him he was like if you're depressed just smile oh thank you thank you cameron no like literally but that's exactly what i just said i was like thinking back to it i was like hmm but no it is true a little bit like

also we're speaking from our personal experience something that's helped us like it might not help everybody and sometimes it doesn't help, but sometimes it does. Everyone in the comments is like, just get medicated. Medicate yourself. Please, please go see a professional. I see a professional, but I refuse to take medication. Yeah. I'm wearing a cap today because I miscalculated my hair wash days and my hair is really fucking greasy.

Just had to point that out. Literally, I don't think anyone would have questioned why you're wearing a hat. greasy um just had to point that out literally i don't think anyone would have questioned why you're wearing a hat you didn't have to say that i just like you wear hats all the time i wanted to say if i pulled up with a fucking baseball cap on then people would be like all right bitch let's see that scalp like i know it's greasy i forgot where i was oh i went the day i wore that like elmer fudd um orange hat i was out for ice cream with mason and dante and i like took it off to talk about how greasy my hair was it was literally like laid flat like i put gel in it to your head the cap stuck to your head and that's okay because

you have to train your hair to be oily and also it's healthy and also when you get like when you get three weeks deep and like you like wring out the oil it's like actually free cooking oil i've decided i'm gonna start slapping people like imagine when you said that i just went like start doing it like i literally gave you permission to just like i okay you know those videos of oh my god i thought you know those videos of like people getting like massive amounts of like disgusting rotting food poured all over them when they're asleep or like gallon buckets of water poured on them or like mustard bottles squirted on them i gave everyone in my life permission to do that to me just when I'm least expecting it.

And like the other night I fell asleep when everyone was still awake. And like I heard Kai mention he was like, we should like mustard. We should do it to Drew. And I like I like actually like got so fucking angry inside. I was like, I swear to God, if they try to do that shit to me right now i will freak the fuck out i know every time you keep saying like y'all have permission to do that to me we literally like you can't make noise around you when he's asleep he will fall asleep in the middle of of all the fun and then be like wake up and be like or like you do this

thing where you like toss around really angrily instead of saying anything. Like everyone will just be in the living room like chatting it up. And then I'm like, I just doze off. I fall asleep. And then I get actually angry when people wake me up when I'm the one that's sleeping in the wrong spot. Like it's actually like so wrong. Like I'll storm out of the room. But it's just like grumpy.

I'm not actually angry. It's just like I'm fucking tired and I'm like woken up. No, I'll storm out of the room. But it's just, like, grumpy. I'm not actually angry. It's just, like, I'm fucking tired and I'm, like, woken up. No, I feel that. When we went to that waterfall thing, I, like, I was falling asleep and I was having one of those nights where, like, for some reason. I think usually I'm pretty good at that. Like, if I fall asleep around people, I, like, usually don't make a fuss or say anything about it because i can literally sleep through anything but in on this like in big sir i was falling asleep and they we all fell asleep watching something on the tv and i was like turn it off turn it off like and josh was being really nice because we had to share but he was like do you like is it the light or is it the noise i was like is it like both turn it off and i was like turn it

off turn it off and then christian was on the other side of the room eating chips oh god i was trying so i know those chips stink like no actually before before the chips him and lucas were whispering to each other and all I hear was like, Ew. And I was like, all I fucking hear right now is stop. Like, and I said that and then they like just kind of laughed, but then stopped. And then I couldn't hear Christian eating his chips and trying so hard to be quiet. Because it would be like, like, And then he would just be be like like of the bag the worst type of angry is when you're like

actually angry and then like the people you're angry at just laugh at you literally me to you in miami i was gonna i was gonna mention miami like dude that shit was actually diabolical that was rude i was drunk it's okay it's it's okay i was drunk it's chill now but like literally i was so mad i snapped it was like my breaking point like i snapped like i was asleep peacefully in the room and you know ryan had like gone out and i was like i don't want to like go out to a club tonight i'm like good just like hanging out and like going to sleep early whatever and like and you know ryan stumble in like three hours later i was like dead asleep And they are just like literally the loudest I've ever heard them be in my entire life. They were like, it felt like they were like, let's be as loud as possible to piss off Drew in particular.

What's fucked up is I don't remember thinking for a second about the fact that you were sleeping in there. Like I was just on one. And I like, I tried my hardest. I really did. I like covered my head with my pillow. I did my thrash. I thrashed a couple times like as a warning sign it's like literally me like warning y'all it's like like i'm about to snap if y'all don't shut the fuck up and then i just snap i don't even remember what i said you were like this is literally the meanest thing anyone's ever done

to me like i mean i just laughed it was so mean and i was like wow I've like actually was like really angry like it was like in my heart angry like uh seeing red um but yeah it's okay because Orion and Josh got and you I think got payback on me the next night because when I slept over the next night you might have been asleep but Josh and Orion were literally talking over my body and like face apping pictures of each other and flash photoing each other over my dead body dude there's like really funny videos from like when it was just me and in or me orion and josh in the room of us literally just being fucking like rambunctious children like just jumping from bed to bed and like it's ridiculous dude i'm not kidding getting a hotel room with your friends is so fun like double beds like all bunking together it's ridiculous. Dude, I'm not kidding. Getting a hotel room with your friends is so fun. It's so fun.

Like, double beds, like, all bunking together. It's, like, actually way more fun than an Airbnb, in my opinion. Yeah, I don't fuck with Airbnbs, but that's also because I'm literally, like, banned on Airbnb. Yeah, I'm fucking banned, too. Because of y'all. Not because of me. I didn't stay there. And I didn't dye my hair at your Airbnb.

It's literally because of he who shall not be named. I won't air him out like that, but someone had a little fun dyeing their hair at an Airbnb. Someone dyed their hair in an Airbnb that I booked that I wasn't able to stay at because I was exposed to COVID. And so I was like, whatever, y'all can just stay there, like have fun. I was like devastated, like internally, but I wasn't going to project like whatever y'all can just stay there like have fun i was like devastated like internally but i wasn't gonna project that onto y'all and then like halfway through the trip or i mean the trip's over and the next day i get an email saying like the room was destroyed the towels were stained the tub was stained like all this crazy shit with like red hair dye and i was

like who the fuck dyed their hair in my airbnb and she gave me a terrible rating and now i can't book anywhere on it was not me. But it's chill because like it originally was you booking all the Airbnbs on your account. I know. And then my shit got. Your shit got fucked up. And then now it's me. And I was like, fuck, I hate booking Airbnbs on my account.

And now anytime we book an Airbnb, it's not on us. We're going to put it on someone else. Literally the someone else is Orion. Orion's the only, only other party event planner in the group. It's me, Drew and Orion. We're like the fucking trifecta of events.

Yeah. People just don't appreciate the events we put on. We're like, people don't appreciate it when our friend group literally raves about it for the next like three weeks. And that's why we keep doing it because we get like, we get so much serotonin from them being like i just had the best night of my life and we're like yeah i'm sure you did we did that um but yeah that wasn't me i like hotels though and

i don't fuck with airbnbs they're overpriced they're kind of fucking creepy i don't they are creepy like okay bleep this out in post but shane dawson was onto something with that fucking video with all the spy cameras and shit like that had me paranoid still that still has me you didn't say anything crazy shane dawson bleep out his name shane dawson derogatory um that motherfucker was a fear-mongering monster dude i like was looking back on all of his videos recently and like like it was literally just like conspiracy theorist nut job like alex jones like weird chaos agent yeah chaos agent weird shit like sending fear into everybody and literally everyone sat around their tvs and big groups and watched that fucking

show together that chucky cheese shit was so fucking funny I don't give a fuck if they reuse slices. Chuck E. Cheese pizza is so fucking good. They better reuse slices. That's probably what makes them so good is they sit out and get all the little kids. The little crust on them. Exactly. And also it's like wasting less food. Like, hello.

Hello. Hello. Chuck E. Cheese is doing what's supposed to be done. I am like the next topic is on the forefront of my brain, but it's like touchy. Which one? The bussy debate. Oh my God. The bussy debate.

Okay. So I don't know why. A little bit of history, a little bit of lore. Let's start there. So there was a moment where I think you were super obsessed with saying pussy. Like, I think everyone went through a moment where like three to three years ago. Yeah, where pussy was the word. And then one time I referred to my own pussy and Drew got very angry.

It was like, girls can't have pussies. It's a boy. I don't like saying the word. It's a boy pussy. Okay, but it could it's a boy i don't like saying the word it's a boy pussy okay but it could also be a butt pussy like i just don't think girls have pussies that's all i'm saying and here's my argument i'm like you'll have buttholes who is the originator of the pussy woman so we have every right to come and send a cease and desist to the word bussy because the half end of it is literally us but who

was the one that created the word bussy gay men exactly and i'm not trying to take anything from gay men god bless but if i would like to refer to my fucking homophobic it just sounds homophobic you're serving homophobic if i would like to refer to my butthole as pussy i've every right to but it just it's okay so realistically i would never be like oh my pussy like i would never actually say it but like i just like the idea that if i would like to reserve a place in time for me to refer to it as my pussy i can say it my only argument in this situation is boy pussy that's all that's the all the ammo I have. And you have your rebuttals and you can argue forever about it.

I guess. Yeah. When I think of pussy, I do think of boy pussy. But like, why can't I have a boy pussy? You want to be a part of the fun. I just like want to be a part of the moment. And like, I don't I don't want to be. I want to have a pussy.

Well, too damn bad. It's probably my internalized misogyny coming that's what it is that's the real conversation that needs to be had you want a pussy so bad that you denounce women from having a pussy um but that was that was literally it like we just debate about this pretty often it's like it happens maybe once every six months like when the baddissy thing started happening on tiktok it became a topic of conversation again like it happens once every six months where we get into this little scuffle about it and then we bring other people in and we're like can girls have pussies and it's pretty like, it's pretty even. Like people like either agree or like strongly disagree.

Like it's like, it's an even argument. So like in the comments, let us know, like can girls have pussies? Guys, can you please let us know if like I as a woman and capable of obtaining the metaphor of pussy, like may I have, may I please have a pussy? Debate in the comments. Debate pussy in I please have a bussy debate in the comments The bussy in the common when you say debate in the comment I literally think about people like with swords and fucking like knives like shanking each other over it

I mean, that's what it will come to we just love creating this we literally not no one was having discourse I can literally we thought we were like, whoa, we're about to like downward spiral're about to set the world on fire nothing absolutely nothing because no one cares about us um that's not true it's actually not true well billionaires are going to space i don't like that okay but we've we oh actually i think redacted episode yeah on one of the redacted episodes we talked about this so should we open this up Because it kind of falls into the same. Yeah, we can open it up. But I've changed my mind on it fully. Like, I fully think it's whack now.

Like space travel? Yeah. Not like little commercialized space travel. I'm like, oh, like, why? What's the fucking point? Like, yeah, we have airplanes. Like, we're kind of doing enough. Like, why do we need to capitalize fucking space

like so basically in a redacted episode that might be on a patreon or if we might start a patreon i don't know we we do a lot of things where we say things and we don't do them should we start a patreon because we're operating in a negative deficit and we are making no money and it's like starting to hurt my bank account a little bit would you like to assist us um but we have an episode where we talk about that i am anti-space travel i just don't get it i'm like why do y'all want to go out there so bad like i don't get it i'm here like i'm grounded in reality my reality is here i'm about to be fucking kicking rocks on the moon like if you if everyone on the planet earth decided like any is the one going to the moon, no, bitch, I'm killing myself. I don't want to fucking go to the moon.

There's no one there. There's nothing there. I would wholeheartedly, I would accept that fully. Like if someone was like go to the moon, I'd be like, yeah, I'm going to the fucking moon. With a guarantee I wouldn't explode in space. Like I would fully go. No, I don't want that. I want like attention for being like hot and funny and like creative.

You'd be the hot, funny, creative first. No, I'd be the fucking nerd on the moon. No, you'd be the first funny creative first no i'd be the fucking nerd on the moon no you'd be the first hot funny creative girl on the moon if i could okay if i could go to the moon with my tits out i would go to the moon but you can't in this hypothetical you can okay then yeah i'm going to the moon yeah i'm convincing you to go to the moon like you can have your tits out if you want you literally can't like i guess if they built a suit with like a shell around my well they will free the nipple in our lifetime like the nipple will be free i believe that you shut your fucking mouth like just think before you speak

um but basically i don't believe in moon travel drew has also i guess commercialized i don't fuck with billionaires going to the moon we need to kill these motherfuckers there i said literally you're wendy williams oh damn to all of them death death to the billionaires literally though wait did you actually say that no she didn't say to the billionaires you like really gave a show of it i was like no i agree though like kind of i don't think like we should kill them but we should figure something out where they like suffer. No killing people. I don't know but like Girl, we need to lock you up in a cage Like we need to put you in a corner it is so unethical to have that amount of money that makes no sense Like what are you doing with it? And I understand the whole argument like well, Jeffrey Bezos doesn't actually have that money

It's all tied up in stocks. Well well like fuck off like i don't care he shouldn't have the like capability of like pulling that money out yeah if that even makes sense like but like literally it's kind of crazy because if he did he would destroy the world like if he was just like one day like i want to liquidate amazon and sell all my stocks like it would actually destroy the world for a little bit because like we are so amazonified after the pandemic like i know if i would have to like go get my cat food that would destroy me yeah if i had to like leave the house the house but yeah um billionaires going to space is stupid and i would have loved to watch one of the rockets blow up.

That would be fucking awesome. But then what would happen? Who would take over his spot? Probably some, I, Jeffrey Bezos stepped down like a month ago or some shit like that. Like he stepped down from like, I don't know. I don't care at all, truly, but he stepped down as a position and I had a theory. I was like, the rocket's going to blow up up but he's not actually gonna be in the rocket and he's gonna fake his death and like live his life out on some like not you talking about the fucking shane dosification of conspiracy

theories and then sitting here talking about jeff bezos faking his death he would though like if i was there i would like and then it sounds you would. You don't know this man. Yeah, I do. We hang out. This episode is brought to you by Samsung Galaxy. Ever captured a great night video only for it to be ruined by that one noisy talker? With Audio Erase on the new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, you can reduce or remove unwanted noise and relive your favorite moments without the distractions.

And that's not all. New Galaxy AI features like NowBrief will give you personalized insights based on your day schedule so that you're prepared no matter what. Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra now at Samsung.com. Also, no one commented on in the first episode when we fully lied about us hanging out with Timothee Chalamet and people like just kind of didn't even address it at all. Because we weren't lying. I forgot we weren't lying. Yeah.

Oh my God, it was at the Chateau. Yes. Like you were just drunk and you forgot. No, that's a story for a different time. But like actually though, like me and Elon Musk like hanging out at Burning Man. That was odd and I wasn't there and I'm glad I wasn't there. But yeah. But it was cool because it was like his camp.

Like it was like it was campy. He was serving camp. He was looking camp directly into the eye. No, but literally all billionaires should like be set on fire ethically. What the fuck using these big words ethically and sustainably we should deconstruct the capitalistic ideology i have such a high iq like it's actually dangerous how high my iq is and like you have like a really high eq like an emotional talent like that's good to have but like for me my high iq is like really. Honestly, it makes it hard for me to even exist in a world where everyone is just less smart than me.

I'm not kidding. I actually am fucking putt-fuck stupid. I say that shit all the time and people are like, no, you're not. I'm like, girl, I am stupid. You're not, though. IQ is not like, it doesn't tell you how. You have really great intuition. That's kind of like a backhanded comment. I know. You're like, no, girl girl you might be stupid but like that gut feeling but it's true like i would rather have like great intuition and i'm like it's not that i'm stupid i'm just like kind of an airhead like when people talk to me i'm like

but maybe that's my attention issue yeah that's not when people talk to me and explain things to me i'm literally like you might as well be doing backflips right now oh for an episode we should get like professionally done um iq tests and finally like see like what it is because like like i genuinely don't know i've never taken an iq i've taken those bullshit online ones that tell you you're like an actual super genius when you take it but like i've taken um the gifted test to get into gifted did you pass yes but that's okay though because i also was kind of against it like they didn't have to do it and i want to do this i could say i'm gifted but like the gifted class in my school was literally like eight people yeah and i was like y'all are fucking nerds losers and then bookworms yeah four eyes actually

brace i think i took it i got in and then that was in fifth grade like when i had just started fifth grade and they were like oh also if you want you can skip to sixth grade oh hell no and then my parent i wanted to skip to sixth grade but my parents were like no oh, also, if you want, you can skip to sixth grade. Oh, hell no. And then my parents, I wanted to skip to sixth grade, but my parents were like, no, you shouldn't be hanging out with like older kids. And also, thank God they did that because like I had all my fucking homies in elementary like me and my girls. So, yeah, I'm smart as fuck when I was eight. No, I feel to i feel like everyone

was like if you if you're on the internet now and like you absorb internet content like when you were like seven eight nine ten eleven twelve like you had a higher reading level than like your grade and now you're like actually stupid as shit and brain rotted i was gonna say also the internet is so big the dumb bitches are on there they've migrated maybe in 2014 if you were like cuddy it was like oh my god i'm so crazy like i'm different but now it's like everyone's on the billy joe bob is live on tiktok at 3 a.m i love those tiktok lives so much mine are just so different because i i go on if you ever see me i'm trolling but i go on tiktok on my main account on people's lives and it's like always my tiktok always gives me like

men trying to be sexy and i always go on there and troll them and i'm like oh my god your voice your raspy voice you're so fucking sexy you're like so like is it wrong to say i'm horny right now oh my god and then oh one time the a guy like read the comment out loud and then he like screenshotted it and i was like actually please stop i like please delete this i have a boyfriend and i like kept saying that and then all the comments were like damn bitch like get off this live yeah like i'm telling on you and then he didn't address it he just laughed at it but um why did he screenshot that also? I think because he touched my account. He was like, 292K, what do you do?

I'm like, bitch, TikTok. Like, we're both on here. Like, what do you mean, what do I do? I do everything. I dabble. We really do dabble, though. I would rather live a life of dabbling than a committed life of... Literally me with YouTube. I dabble. I dabble in my main job. I life of um literally me with youtube i dabble i dabble in

my main job i dabble i dabble i dabble i i always bring this up to india and i've had a change of heart recently um that's but that's the name of this episode a change of heart but um i always bring up this hypothetical i'm like india if i lost the lower half of my body like would you take care of me and from jump i've always said no and it actually like hurt my feelings i know when i first said it he like actually got so fucking upset i got like quiet like i got quiet sad i was like he also you asked this while I was taking you somewhere to run an errand like I was like bitch I'm you already I'm already playing mommy no I I used to think like well like you're like my best friend like you should be willing to give up your life to like wheel me around

in my like half hemi state where I don't have legs and then I was like would you change I was like okay all the legs should aside you don't have to take And then I was like, would you change? I was like, okay, all the legs should decide. You don't have to take care of me. Would you change my colostomy back? And I said, fuck no. And I was like, girl, I would change your colostomy back. And actually on top of that,

I would eat it like one of those applesauce. Like I would eat the colostomy because that's just how much I love you. Well, I love you with all my fucking heart, but that's not my goddamn job. Would you come visit me? Yeah, I would like hang out three times a week yeah that's nothing i bitch i see you 24 7 like i would the thing is i am pretty traditional that i believe one that's a partner's job and even at that like i wouldn't expect that's a romantic partner to do that

yeah that's a parent's job i'm like bitch i'm putting you in a fucking u-haul and chipping your ass back to texas you're strapping me you're throwing me like a football bag realistically if i'm ever in that predicament and i'm in a coma and they're like he will live if we cut off the lower half of his body fucking kill me kill me i don't want to live that life i'm sorry i'm sorry my dad says that shit to me all the time he's like i don't want to live that life i'm sorry i'm sorry my dad says that shit to me all the time he's like i don't want to be a fucking vegetable kill me exactly okay bitch because i won't be the same i will be bitter and angry at the world and i will hate everything actually it would be so funny i know like i'm like girl we if our podcast is doing well i'm not cut at the floor plot me

plot me in the chair make a chair like this in that. I'm knocking on that skull and being like, hello, are you still there? Hello. But yeah, I just, I can't do that taking care of shit. Like, I like to think I already play kind of a mommy role with my friends. And this already is too much. I'm like, I'm already too much of a mommy right now. Mommy. Mommy, I need milk.

You don't give me milk. You claim to be mommy, but you don't give me milk. Do you want my boob milk? Yes. I'll make that happen for you. I'll get pregnant and then like eight months in drop the baby so I can still be producing like breast milk maybe. And I'll give you the milk and kill the baby.

Okay. I'm down for that. I'm actually down for that. And we could like use it stem cells to like regenerate our youth is that how that works i don't i just i don't want to be fucking young forever bitch i want to be 30 because you want to be 30 sexy like 30 is a different sexy like i don't want to be 30 because i'm like i want to be older i literally only want to be 30 because i genuinely do believe like not to say i can be kind of sexy now but i think i

still have kind of is the key word there literally kind of like i think still when i'm like on my sexy shit it's like kind of funny because i'm like still a little young yeah like i'm not young by any means but like i don't know i feel me and orion talk about this all the time like orion said this year she finally feels like a woman and like she's turning 25 and she's like i finally am feeling like very womanly in like nature and i still sometimes i'm like i'm a girl like but i think that's because like i i don't know that's like also just my self-perception i'm sure i know one looks at me and thinks oh my god that's a girl i people deaf looks at me and thinks, oh my God, that's a girl. People deaf look at me and are like, that's a woman.

But I still feel like, but that's also because I'm like a honky tonky dumb fuck. Like I'm just like kind of like airheaded. So I'm like. Yeah. I think it's like, I think like for guys, it's like completely different. Like the older you get, like the creepier you get. And it's like really scary. And you start balding and like, it's like completely different. Like the older you get, like the creepier you get. And it's like really scary. And you start balding and like it's gross.

It's really scary. But I am excited to become like older, maybe. I'm excited to become older because I think I'll be so hot as like a 30 year old. That's something I've been struggling a lot with recently is my age. Really? You're sexy. I was, I've been looking at everyone in the group. I was like, everyone in the group i was like everyone in the

group is aging really well we're literally becoming like hot like younger hot people like it's awesome yeah i know we're like we're definitely all in our 20s yeah like we're all in our almost mid 20s josiah like has it's actually crazy like how like older Josiah has gotten I know every time I look at videos I'm like oh my god he was a child he was a child but even like for myself I look back at like when we first all started hanging out and I was like dude what the fuck I still had like baby face yes and then then I was like oh my god like I look so old in the face but like like me now I'm like I'm an old fucking hag like I haven't been getting ID'd as much. And that's how I'm like, oh, yeah, people see me and think I'm a woman. That's what makes me think.

I'm like, oh, yeah, I am looking like a woman. A womanliness. But yeah, I want to be a sexy 30-year-old. I think I'll be hot. Well, this conversation makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to age and I'm scared of it getting older. I'm so excited to get older because I don't know. I think it's very graceful. I've realized everyone I've ever looked up to,

for everyone who I look at, I'm like, damn, your shit is all put together. You like, everything you do is so awesome. They're either very late 20s or early 30s. And I'm like, oh, that makes actually a lot of sense. Because I used to be like dude I don't have my shit together like I'm about to be fucking 23 I don't have any of my shit together and then I look at like a 30 year old and I'm like oh yeah okay yeah that makes sense I um

like hanging out with all of those people I was just like oh shit like I still have so much time like like like I think like when I don't I I don't know how to explain this, but basically I'm like, holy shit. Like I'm 23. Like I'm getting older. Like I'm like hitting that point where like I'm about to start leaning towards 30 and I'm like, oh my God, that's like the most terrifying thing in the world. But then I also have this like combating thought where I'm like, dude, seven years is so much

time. Like I feel like I've been in LA forever like like for the longest time but I've only been out here for like three years and like that's double the amount of time until I'm 30 and like even then like you're still so young when you're 30 yeah I know that's still like in the eyes of like a 50 year old it's like girl you don't know shit like it's really funny to think about it's also just easy especially in entertainment because entertainment especially influencing like yeah there's not only an expiration date but like within social media

the groups have only gotten younger and younger and younger so it's easy to look at the fucking 18 year olds who are like okay yeah i just bought like a five million dollar home and then to look at myself and be like i am nowhere near that like i can't even fathom that like what the fuck and then be like jesus fuck i'm almost 23 like why can't i fathom that that person did that like at fucking 17 yeah and then you look at like 30 year olds who are like i don't know maybe i might buy a house and you're like okay never mind like that's just that is the normal that is because capitalism yeah and that's not my fault and in the boomers our parents stole all the money from us and all the houses all the billionaires buying up the real estate we're about to live in a renter's economy we'll never own a house again thing is like everybody is so mean to the billionaires but they work hard actually t

they work for their money yeah that's what was that i was just riffing i was just coming up with my own thing oh but speaking of old age our other topic no billionaire we should keep elaborating on like why billionaires deserve their billion oh okay um they're cool they're kind of lit they could buy me things if i knew them personally so i don't want to talk bad on the billionaires because what if one day maybe i knew one of them yeah and are the chances of that so extremely low yeah maybe not really i know a few i'm gonna punch you in the fucking mouth um but yeah no that's our take on billionaires we don't fuck with them um also sometimes i'd be like oh i wish i had a billion dollars no the fuck i don't i was talking about that in the car i was like bitch if i won a billion dollars do you see the way i handle my

money now it would be bad i'd be like i just give everyone i know like a million dollars to be like i don't know what this means i don't i don't need a lot of money like i used to think that is also something i want to touch on briefly change of heart my yeah like i used to be like i need all the money in the world like i need all of it and now that like this is gonna sound so fucking stupid and i hate saying this but now that i have a little bit of money i'm like i'm perfectly fine with where i'm at and i don't care if i don't have millions later in my life um but a billion dollars that's ridiculous no that is so unnecessary like yeah i because even like anything over like fucking 20 million i'm like what do you do what do you do like you're bitch you're still waking up every day and eating eggs like yeah

what we all okay we put we hate billionaires so much but we still put our pants on the same way every single day we put our socks on and our shoes on one leg at a time unless you don't have one one of them hopefully my wiener hasn't been showing this entire time um but speaking of old age we this is kind of a morbid conversation uh no but there's okay there's some funniness in it i remember this time last year i was talking to a friend about this a lot and it was like one of our first conversations it was like really funny and it was the fact that i do not believe that anyone will kill me or that i will die by accident we've talked about it before on the podcast yeah but like we have to go in

detail because again i don't want it to be like a scary thing it's more so like i have like pride too much pride i'm like bitch if i if a murderer was coming into this house and i knew i was not going to make it in their face i would kill myself and i'd be like boom now you look fucking stupid and you're going to jail you're stupid and going to jail yeah um for me like i guess the the question at hand is like, how would, if you had to choose a way to die, how would you want to die? I want to be like, I don't know. I don't know.

I'm like so scared of death. I'm scared of the process of dying. I don't care about what happens next. Like literally we either like are a simulation and you wake up and you take off the vr goggles and you're like that shit was so real and you freak the fuck out and they're like you made it to level 27 good job like age 27 yeah and then you freak the fuck out or we experience real reality i've so many times i've wanted to slap you um no so i'm just like whatever happens after death i don't give a shit but the process process of dying like scares the shit out of me

yeah same like i don't like the idea of it happening but i don't like the idea of anybody else or the universe getting to have a hand you either kill yourself or get killed that was like the most that was the most prolific thing ever like it's like the it like actually resonates resonated with me very deeply yeah it's so real like it's really real no for me i think like i know we said like fuck all the space shit or whatever but like being launched in the outer space like with no helmet on would be kind of sick to die like it'd be like iconic like he he was like launched into space bitch that is so whack or like your little limp body like floating around i guess it'd be like really pretty and like but oh my god it would be so scary oh my god imagine sorry like imagine like having the helmet on and you have like two days of oxygen and food in your whatever and you're just floating off into space i don't well why

would you want no that's what i'm i don't want that i'm just saying like imagine that that's the scariest shit ever um i used to as a kid because i was just like grew up at the beach all the time and was like little Miami mermaid vibes. I used to want to die by drowning. That was like so fucking that was a full belief of mine. That is so wrong. I was like, I want to die by drowning. I love being in the water. Like I love this so much.

And then I got older and I like started to learn really what that meant. I was like, that sounds so painful. You were like, I'm going to become a mermaid. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to drift off into the sea like nori bitch you know my remains would be tore up after i like had the worst most excruciating death ever like how fucking awful no oh also when i was a kid this is like the craziest thing ever but it really shows that my brain has been fucked up since the moment i was born um i remember with my like birth mom she was like taking me to school and i from a very young age this is so fucked up and like i don't know if it's okay for me to say but this was like my

childhood thought i literally was like because i've always wanted to be a radio host that was one of like the main things i wanted we're here we're like there your childhood dream is coming true don't touch me except i'm literally in my fucking kitchen and it's really hot it's 91 degrees in here um the fuck was i saying oh i and this actually kind of makes no sense because i was like i really want to be a radio host but i also had the thought that i was like if i had to work a desk job i would kill myself and that was a genuine thought i had as like a seven-year-old and i believed in that um which doesn't really make sense because being a radio host like you kind of live at a desk for whatever i meant like typing in my head like i was thinking of those big monitors and like

looking like like coralline's dad at a fucking computer all day. Literally everyone listening to our podcast at their desk job right now. Working from home, though. Slang on the Zoom call. But yeah, that's why I was like, I don't want it to sound rude, but this is my child brain. And I remember I said that out loud to my mom and she just turns to me and she's like, killing yourself is illegal. And I remember it scared the fuck out of me. I was like, oh my God.

What are they going to do? Bury you under the jail under the jail no i'm not kidding this is so fucked up in my head my brain literally imagined like my dead body handcuffed in like a jail cell like and i was like oh my god i don't want that like i used to um think that like 1000 with my whole heart 1000 the way i was gonna die was in a car crash you remember that yes and i fucking hate it i fully believe that and then also like at the same time i'm like going 130 down the freeway like i don't do that that was a lie i don't do that are uber going 130 with us in the fucking car the other night okay as wrong as it is i instigated it but i didn't tell him to go 100 and fucking 30 miles per hour you're a fucking uber you shouldn't do it i was like we're all

drunk in the car like i was in the front seat like singing clero amoeba like trying chopping it up with him trying to get him to like say something and he completely fucking ignored me the whole time and then i was just like go 100 he like, his face lit up and he went 100. And then he didn't fucking stop. Yeah, he went to 130. He kept going until he hit 130. And we stayed going 130. We didn't slow down.

Yeah, I know. We were zooming for like probably three miles going 130 miles per hour. And like in my drunk brain, I was having like the most fun in my entire life. I know, it was so fun at the moment. And then we woke up and we were like, um. We should have died last night. And Kai was with us and he was like, I was genuinely terrified. I was scared for my life.

I literally was just like, I was just like, huh, this is happening. I was too busy listening to Claire. That new album, like, come on, Miss Claire. Her new album, that's my media. That whole fucking album. Come on, Miss Claire. But yeah, going 130, I'm like, bitch, you're an Uber. I love it. Her new album. That's my media. Is that fucking album? On. But yeah, going 130.

I'm like, bitch, you're an Uber. Like I. What if I told you to fucking shoot someone, you would have also done it. If I told you to jump off a bridge, you would have done it. You probably would have crashed on purpose if we asked him. Yeah, he was bored. But I get it. It's a boring job, baby.

Me. I'm like, I can understand everyone's side like i'm just like an empath like i get his side that night was fucking insane literally the most chaotic i was on full-blown demon mode like i was evil that yeah we talked about this before about how we that it was a purge like the reason why I was like in purgatory mentally for the past three, four days was because I've been like hungover. And this is why I don't drink often and I can't drink often is because like my hangovers last forever.

Like they actually fuck with my brain chemistry and like make me like a zombie of a person. I guess that's literally fucking everybody. Like I'm not special, but it lasts for days and days and days. But oh my God, I i was i was on one i literally didn't have a hangover because i'm a slay you are a slay i literally after drinking i will come home shower wash my face go to bed wake up eat slay when i come home after a night of drinking, I find rotten watermelons. I break them on the floor of the kitchen and put my feet in them and play in it. And that's not a joke. We'll add a picture and some video.

And then I go to the most expensive house in LA and try to sneak in and almost get my ass beat by the security guards. And then I tell everybody pulling up to the party, like, don't there they're having demon blood orgies like it's really evil sinister shit like don't do it and um yeah it's just like really really dark shit like i don't know what goes on in my brain when i'm drunk but i'm like i'm like i'm a different person i i think i just didn't get that drunk like we had we had free bottles of Azul. Like I was like literally chugging that shit. I know. Dude, ew.

I like, I don't, I get like the idea of like people like pouring shots in someone's mouth and it being like a sexy thing. But literally I am not sexy in that way. I'm like, don't fucking do that. I'm going to get acid reflux. And I did. Yeah. I literally got acid reflux.

I was like, like about to throw up and i'm like thank you oh my god like literally like no offense but i was a super spreader that night like i like was pouring that bottle into everyone's mouth luckily you were first and like denzel was second but like i was pouring it into like everyone's mouth like anybody who like oh my god i need to talk about this but if you have like a bottle in the club like you actually get like harassed like i was touched in ways i can't describe and it was wrong it was wrong in every sense of the word i don't blame them they also tried to kick drew out because he was wearing short i was wearing these fucking shorts it was a

fucking bar a walk away from the beach and literally everyone around me had shorts on and they targeted me in the photo booth and was like hey you have shorts on like get the fuck out of here and i was like but i look sexy like what do you mean i i look good and like he walked past like three people with fucking shorts yeah and then he was like how'd you get in here and i just went i was like we were standing in front for fucking 20 minutes like what do you mean they let us in yeah um and then i was being a cunt to him because he was pissing me off and i started recording him with my um handy cam and it has the brightest flash ever it was awesome he was like stop recording me and then he just walked away he was like you know what like you can stay but i

will say he came up to me after i closed out the dj set with all the scary music i dj'd for like 15 seconds. We just go to parties and we harass people. So I guess it's only fair that Drew got harassed back. Yeah. My new thing is taking, I wanna take flash photos with everyone. He came up to me after and apologized.

And he was like, he was like, I'm sorry. Like I, you're a cool guy. Like, I didn't mean that. Anyone who like I see on the internet a lot and I like kind of find funny, like in my head, they're a 3d render and they're not like really a real person i want to take flash photos with them yeah so far i've gotten lebron james and lele pons but lele pons was actually so fucking nice to me that i like couldn't even post a photo because she was like so nice to me and then i was like wow you know what being a bitter fucking cunty hating ass bitch is kind of mean because

you know what because people think that shit about us they're like those people are fucking whack and corny and if I came up if I saw them in person I would take a photo of their face without them knowing and like could you imagine what that would feel like i don't care i get made fun of all the time yeah it's true and that's maybe that's why i'm so we got called squid billies like that was the funniest shit ever yeah no that shit was that was literally the funniest like diss ever and it was it was like so light-hearted but then people like started taking it and being i know like please know that when people make fun of me and drew we don't fucking care actually like it's funny to us we're literal cunts we are specifically me i'm a hating ass bitch when people like make fun of like maybe like something i wear or my appearance or something

like i don't take it to heart yeah it's one bitch's question my morals that's why i'm gonna fucking fight you and show you i'm crazy. But that's different. She's crazy, but she's free. I'm fucking crazy, but I'm free. But yeah, just like balls in my mouth and like wiener and like butt stuff. What is wrong with you, bitch? What do you mean? All right.

And with all that being said, that was this episode. It was squirt-tastic. All all right let's get into media yeah i took my media down did you take notes of it no i have to start doing i decided i was like i'm gonna start taking notes so i don't have to look it up right at the end um so do you want me to go first yeah you go first um okay so my media of the week um so i have like the most like actually chaotic like dangerous playlist to like anybody's psyche made of all time currently like both of y'all know like it's oh it's dangerous like it's really evil drew came back from texas with some shit that i literally want to fucking slap him yeah but i actually like thoroughly enjoy it and it like it's like the it's like a pipeline like this is where you end up like when after you start listening to like boards of canada apex twin like this is where

you end up this genre of music um all the fucking annoying like apex twin motherfuckers can be like not not true not true yeah because you're not there yet, bitch. Just wait. But it's called Breakcore. And the song that has really just been really great for me is Spiral 2005 by Team Meccano. Just give it a listen. Give it a chance. It will be the worst thing you've ever listened to. It's kind of like the first time you listen

to like bladey or it's just like you're like what the fuck what i will say is like some break core i really do like like some of the shit dante has shown me i like but like some of it i just can't get down with because it literally like hurts my brain but that's also because like who knows what's happening up here give it a chance you might surprise yourself you might enjoy it um it's like i know it's bad to use this word but like i like controversy it's literally schizophrenic music like it's actually so naughty um and then my movie media of the week is mind games oh mind games that shit hates and i just re-watched it um actually one of the best animated movies of all time it's such a sleeper it's such a sleeper like people talk about like perfect blue or paprika or just like any if i had to pick between paprika because paprika is pretty

good like comparison i would 100 pick mind game yeah it's just so weird it's so weird i can't believe like it's just like all the music in it too is just so fucking good it's like a feat of animation like i cannot believe they were able to do it and it sound sounded good also just like when i think of like animation sequences in my brain it's always like shit that i'm like dude how would you even draw that out that sounds crazy but that movie is like the closest thing that was just like run like taking a character running and then making it into like a million things, if that makes sense. It's just, it's so mind boggling. Yeah, it's literally a mind game.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. My media of the week is Claro's whole fucking album. It is so fucking good. I literally love her. I'm in love with her. It's all I've been listening to amiibo i'd tell them cats i've been in the alley if you get it you get it if you know you know if you don't know you don't know um and then

just like individual songs that have really been touching my little heart is The Letter by Doofields. I don't know if I'm saying that right. Touch by Omarion. Superstars by Yves Tumor. That one's back in rotation. If you know me, you know that song. It's so fucking good to me. Knocks Me Off My Feet by Stevie Wonder.

That's all I'll give you. Don't get fucking greedy. I'll slap you in the face. Also also un beso by aventura like that song um i'm gonna give a couple more songs because you give good songs and i'm just gonna you give good songs too girl um in ending ascent by brian inu um just like an emotional anthem like it'll make you feel something you haven't felt before in your life pop a new guinea by the future sounds of london so good um and then i'm gonna give one more because i i love the playlist that they made someone made a playlist well you have to but you the thing that makes the media so good is you give

like kind of a tease. A little tease. Okay, I'm going to give one more. No, I'm not. Fuck you. Come back for more. Come back for more, bitch. You have to keep coming back for it. That's why I haven't done a playlist because I'm like,

do you want to hear it? You have to come here. Also, my media of the week, like visually, is Better Call Saul because I will have sex with Saul and Mike I will have sex with both of them what's his fucking name Saul do you know his name what's his like the actor's name oh wait we have to figure this out because I saw Goodman I would literally have sex with him like a hundred times in one night James Morgan McGill also known bitch that's his name in the fucking movie like or not the movie in the shows like he was he just did that movie

with nobody and he was like literally sexy hot in it what the fuck is his real name like Bob Odenkirk. Bob Odenkirk. We will have sex with Bob Odenkirk if you are listening to this podcast um please have sex with Bob Odenkirk. If you are listening to this podcast, please have sex with us.

I will suck you. I was going to say, I'll suck your balls. That's my media of the week. I'm pretty sure this man has a wife. We're about to shoot a movie with Bob Odenkirk. And that's the media of next week. That's going to go on the Patreon. Yes.

All right. Thank you for listening. Thank you for all the feedback. This is actually the first episode we're recording since the podcast has been out so now we know that we are not the most hated people in the world and that is relieving we love all of your comments all every time you like comment something like we read them give us topics something you want to hear us talk about if you think about it um what's what's the discourse you want us to bring to the forefront yeah because now we're going weekly basically yeah um so if you

have anything you want us to touch on let us know we read every fucking comment and we love it i said i'll touch on you you said it like it's a bad thing like you're gonna i'm gonna react poorly but like i want it okay bye bye bye bye bye bye Bye.