Emergency Intercom - the scarlet letter but with guys

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

Drew's doctor is trying to hit, ky and enya went home together... and our house is hauntedSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom. We're going back to the basics today. I am not kidding. What does that mean? What the fuck are you talking about? I'm just saying shit. I don't know how to intro.

Well, what were we talking about before this? You guys- Oh, Drew's strapping you. Yeah. Okay, no. Yeah, we went to Akbar and we found a conversation with this gay guy. We found a conversation we went there hunting found a conversation and One he thought and his name was Jenga

We're gonna stick with that. Also, he's in on the joke. I'm not making fun of him His and his name is Jenga Kai's was was... I said Kai and he said, oh, Demetrius. Yeah. And I was like. Did I genuinely, I'm not gonna lie though. How did he get that? He is the funniest person because he did not hear a single thing we said all night,

but everything he repeated back to us was 10 times funnier than what was said originally. Yeah, he was so intense. Cause he literally also just like wasn't listening. Like I literally loved him. He was such a vibe. He was such a vibe. Brian, if you're out there, you were a fucking vibe.

If you're out there, like. He might have died, we don't know. Oh my god, no. No, don't say that. It's easy to kill someone. Are you insinuating you killed him? No. Drew did.

Drew was really jealous because he thought I was funnier and cuter. And at one point he did say he was like, out of the three of you, oddly enough, although I'm gay, I'd have sex with Anya. I don't remember that. Or Jenga, well he said Jenga. Jenga, sorry. He said Jenga.

Jenga. But yeah, then we also got into conversation about if me and Anya would ever hook up and we were like, no, we never would. I want it to happen so badly eventually, but it never would happen. Even if it was an end of the world situation, I think it just could literally never happen.

But we landed on me strapping Inya. That's the most likely scenario. Yeah, I would strap Inya. I think I cried laughing when you said that. I don't know that I, like, I hate that idea. Like, I don't know why. What does that even look like? It looks beautiful.

I'm sure someone out there can draw it. If anybody has, like, a creative mind and wants to draw. Yeah, where's all the fanfic? Where's all the fanfare? Where did all the like really creepy fanfic go? It's almost like people learned boundaries and were like, I almost shouldn't sexualize a friend. I feel like a year ago somebody posted fanfiction

on TikTok, but I haven't seen it since. I think fanfic is fun. I was never down for reading fanfic though. I never read it. I was never down for reading fanfic though. I never read it. I was too busy reading Hunger Games. I was too busy reading Infinite Jest when I was 14. You were too busy starting Infinite Jest for the third time at the age of 14.

Exactly. Somebody pointed out that like they love that it's still here and none of us have read it. Or have you read it? You seem like the kind of motherfucker who would like claim us have read it. Or have you read it? You seem like the kind of motherfucker who would like claim to have read it and you have not read that. Yeah, I'm on the last like 30 pages.

That's the only book you read? Only that. Well, in college I was like. The body keeps the tea. The body count keeps the score. The body count keeps the score. The body stays tea. In college I was like,

I'm not reading any of these fucking books because everyone's doing it for the wrong reasons. They're doing it for like masturbatory intellectual reasons and they don't actually want to say. They don't actually want to hook up with women, which is why you're reading. Okay, yes, exactly. He's a feminist to hook up with.

But now daddy's cracking open the classic literature. I'm almost done with the bell jar and that's a very sad, depressing, twisted book. Have you guys read? Have you read, Anya? I actually haven't finished it. I have a really bad habit that I start a few books at once and usually a book falls behind.

And I think I started that book and one of Cookie's books, like Cookie Mueller's books, and I got so infatuated with Cookie and I kind of left Sylvia. Drew's also very infatuated with Cookie. I kind of left Sylvia. Drew's also very infatuated with Cookie. I love Cookie. Oh my God. Look at that Cookie.

But no, now I am reading Henry Miller. So I'm also cracking into. I'm reading Herman Miller. The furniture designer. Is it Herman? Herman Miller? Herman? I don't know actually.

It might be Herman. I am the last person to ask about how to pronounce anything because I, now, now, and also if I mispronounce something once, it will never be corrected. So if you have an assumption that I don't know how to say the word that's about to be spoken out loud, say it out loud before me, because once it comes out of my mouth,

however my brain decides to say it, it's like that forever. It's so hard. I have some other notes from Akbar say it out loud before me, because once it comes out of my mouth, however my brain decides to say it, it's like that forever. It's so hard. I have some other notes from Akbar. And you said couch surfing guys' dicks go crazy. Well, okay, because I have a theory that like. What was that?

Where did that even come from, actually? I don't know, but you did bring up a good point that like men who couch surf probably are dropping. Oh, they have. Yeah, there is that sub genre of men in popular cities. In popular cities, there is just, cause everybody always gets on girls for being like, oh my gosh, you use your body to like get what you want,

blah, blah, blah, guys do that too, bitch. There are men out there with no car, no job, no house. There's men out there that are gay. Old bill under their mother, 32. There are men out there that are gay that hook up with women for iPhones. Yeah. Yeah.

And you know what, no shame in the hustle, but I'm just saying it should be equal on both sides. If women are gonna get sluts, men are sluts as fuck, and they use it to sleep at houses. Also, I just, anytime I have like, I just don't look at men and think they'd be good at sex, and anytime I hear of a man being good at sex, he usually has no ambition.

It's because he doesn't need ambition. He's got that dick on him. He's got that fucking dick on him. And then there are just like, yeah, there are women who are really down to just fuck. And then there's guys like me that have that dick on him, but still work. He's a munch.

There's guys like me that have that dick on him, decides not to use it and just eats. Sorry. I immediately regretted saying that. Oh my God, me and Kai went home together the other night. I for real thought y'all were gonna bang. Wait, is that actually something you thought? I was like, there's something sinister brewing here.

Something sinister is about to happen. Well, something sinister did happen, but it was me being like really paranoid. Woody, we got an Uber and me and Kai are talking. I don't remember what the fuck we're talking about because I'm like half in the conversation and I'm really dialed in on the Uber's driving because of personal reasons,

I have a lot of trust issues with people driving me late at night and I will be watching your driving style also because I'll be watching you Wait what song is that? I'm rotted today. Oh happened I Just thought about how dishes are never actually really cleaned like they're never clean if you use a sponge because that sponge Was used on a thousand dirty dishes before it dude Using a sponge is disgusting

Sponges are the like legitimately the scariest thing I ever have to interact with Bacteria is oh yeah, there's so much bacteria in those little pores. It's that and the strap. And you're just rubbing it into the dishes. The strap. And honestly, I would probably say that this sponge is more filled with bacteria than the strap. But yeah, you can't finish with the sponge.

I just can't imagine, like I'm imagining how I was raised to like interact with the sink and wash dishes, and there is no world, y'all are washing the sink right. And I know that because I live with you and you are a clean person, but you and Josh, if you clean a kitchen or something, you're not cleaning a kitchen. You're like man cleaning a kitchen.

How did this become an attack? A personal attack on me. I'm just saying, you guys are going really hard on sponges, but sponges have been around forever and they're not that dirty. And everyone in America has a sponge in their sink. It's a societal oversight. I think we all collectively don't think about our sponges

enough and I think that sponges are just dirty. I kind of like wash, I wash a sponge before and after I use it on dishes. Oh same, but that bacteria is deep in there, deep in those sponges. But we have a dishwasher, a dish washer now. Oh my God, I had never had a dishwasher before this, and I cannot believe those exist.

That is an oversight, that is a societal oversight. I genuinely think the people need dishwashers. Wow, it's so much time, I'm not kidding. Literally. dishwashers. Wow, it's so much time. I'm not kidding. Like, because I grew up. Okay. First of all, I'm also like really obsessed with this guy on YouTube who Jay Guapo. I love Jay Guapo. Jay Guapo is my go. I love that he's becoming such a thing. It's awesome. But I miss more content with his mom, but I guess maybe it is good because he was pissing his mom off. Like, he was literally like,

what he does to strangers now, he used to do to his mother. I'm like. Yeah, popping balloons on strangers' heads is crazy. Like that is really, really, really like crazy. And like, it just makes me look at New York in a different light where I'm like, wow, you really just can do this

and it's okay. I think it's really okay. I think a major city like New York, New York is the only major city I have personally spent enough time in and then I'm like, yeah. This needs to be like boot camp. When people graduate high school,

I think not all at once because we already have too many people but like I think Throw them to New York to figure it out Yeah before like a kid graduates real they should like put them into groups of six with a random adult to be there to observe Them but just have them walk around New York all day And have to feed themselves. I really I actually because I genuinely think that would jumpstart their reality. Throw them to the fucking wolves. Like this is really what, this is real life.

New York! I love New York, but I don't think I would ever be able to live there because I am bitch made. Like, I'm so bitch made. In Miami, you just don't have to interact with that many people like ever. I had a pretty bad thing happen to me the last time I was in New York.

I told you about this at the subway. You got slimed on. I got slimed out in New York. I know, I got slimed out. What are y'all even saying? I was at a subway station in Bushwick. It's your worst nightmare, by the way. And this is bad.

It's really bad. I was on my phone and then all of a sudden I felt this massive warm, viscous liquid hit my forearm. And I look and it's bright green. It's neon green. It's bright green, which is the second worst color that that liquid could be. The first one being a pearl white,

if you know what I'm talking about, at a subway, in a subway station, you know what I'm saying? Okay, cause guys jack off on people. Well like a little yellow, a little yellow. Oh, I thought you were gonna say like spit, like what? No, that's like a whole thing, people getting cummed on in subways.

That's a thing? Yeah, there's, yeah. That is not a thing! Is that not? That's a thing, there's like a whole genre of like video. There's like, it's like a fetish for like a fetish. Like marking your territory. Yeah, it's like jacking off on a thing. There's like a whole genre of like video. There's like, it's like a fetish for a fetish. Like marking your territory. It's like jacking off.

Ew. I know. Oh no. I am never getting on a train again. I'm not kidding. That's like never crossed my mind that that was even a possibility. I've never seen it happen either.

I've never done it either. That is so crazy, bro. I can't believe it. Now we have iPhones. I know. It made it worse. I know. Like it literally made it worse.

And it's gonna get way worse with VR headsets. Yeah, augmented reality. When men can goon on three different floating screen, whatever. I was at the subway station and then a bunch of green liquid fell from the roof of the subway station Onto my arm and it was like warm and I looked at my because I was like fuck I can either walk to my apartment or the apartment that I was staying at which would be a 15 minute walk or I could

Wait 11 minutes For a one minute subway ride because I like miss my stop anyway Why'd you miss your stop um he was too busy getting fucking slimy nothing none of this would have happened if you just weren't paying like if you were a paying attention on your phone do you guys know what victim blaming is do you never heard of it what's the first fucking stupid victim victim you don't even know what that means. What is that? What is a victim? Anyway, yeah. Wait, me.

This should've gone on my own. Oh, wait no, there's not more than us. Guys, time blindness. No, we're the victim because of guys' time blindness. He was 30 minutes late today. Yeah, that is actually true. And then because of your time blindness, it shifted my perspective and reality,

which made me. It's perspective. Changed my perspective. This is crazy. Which had me cultivating in my room and ruminating. And then I came back down here. You really need to stop ruminating, ruminating. Now doing it feels like I'm like making fun of Amaya from Love Island and I'm really not.

I did not know that was a thing until Madeline and Steven told me about like, if there's like ology at the end of the word, she says it like funny. Again, I can't get on her because there is enough of the podcast saying the wrong word saying it wrong mispronouncing it's crazy how when like niche or gorgeous very nice woman who the world loves does it it's cute but when this evil haggardy bitch of a cunt does it I'm stupid And you're niche niche niche you used to say niche

Okay, and then guess what all the white people around me bullied the fuck out of me and guess what now? I know the word niche Who do I use it with? White guys That's who I use that word with bitch what like what? Like, that's not a word I need in my usual life. Nah, Nisha's pretty cut now. I'm gonna say something kinda crazy. If you say you kiss boys,

I'm gonna beat the fuck out of you. I'm not kidding. No, nevermind, I'll save it for later. You're so annoying. Oh, back to my story with, wait, no, you finish your story. Yeah, I just got green slime all over me. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. And it was really scary.

I didn't know what to do. So you called daddy. I called Drew. Wait, you called Drew? Yes, I called Drew. Do you have a picture of the goo? I have, so I flung it off. It was like a non-Newtonian fluid,

so it kind of all sloughed off of my arm. But I do have a photo of a little bit of it. Guys, it was the Ninja Turtles. Whoa, wow. Let me see if I can find this. There you go. I love you, I seriously do. I missed you.

I know me and Inya weren't talking yesterday because we didn't want to talk about things we were going to talk about on the podcast today. Because we have the best conversations when you guys aren't around. You don't know how much we put into this. We ignore each other for 12 hours. We abuse each other actually. She didn't sleep in my bed last night for whatever reason. And it felt abusive. I felt really bad. Just really quick. This was the color of the goo. This was after it all came off.

Ew, that is fucking disgusting. Is it like bird shit maybe? It's definitely shit. It's like shit and nasty gunk and mold and all the nasty. Have you ever seen duck shit? All the grossest things you can imagine right there. And in the summer in New York, I know your pores were open. They were open.

I was wide open. And then, you know what? The duck shit makes... It had like an aioli kind of a... Stop, I do. Wait, also, wait. I think that's fucking disgusting. This is something else that's been heavy on my mind.

Something else. This is something else that's been on my mind. Mayonnaise and aioli. They're literally just the same thing, except they charge more money to call it aioli. They're literally just the same thing except they charge more money to call it aioli. Isn't aioli just mayonnaise with garlic in it? Some bullshit like that. I don't fucking know.

Just call it mayo. That feels wrong. Let me check. Any white sauce is like a white sauce. Like all white sauces have their purpose and like both of those have the same purpose to me. You couldn't tell me those were different. So yeah, I guess I do agree with you.

But again, aioli, like I only ever get, I only interact with aioli. That's a lie. Guys, I'm so smart, what the hell? Yeah, it's oil, egg yolks and garlic and maybe lemon juice. But mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, I think. They're the same fucking thing. Eggs and oil?

They just charge more to call it aioli. Yeah. And sometimes, honestly, a chipotle aioli will ruin a whole meal for me. I fucking hate. I hate a chipotle aioli. I hate an orange sauce on something that never needed a fucking orange sauce.

Also, I'll go there, I'll go there, I'll go further. Truffle does not need to be put on everything, bitch. I fucking hate truffle, it's rancid. I like real truffle, but the truffle y'all are eating in your truffle fries is truffle fucking oil. Also, we are straying too far from God. We're putting truffle butter on food. That's disgusting.

Kai. That's gross. I. That's gross. I very, very like- No, no, it's not truffle butter. Vividly remember the day I learned what truffle butter was. I was in YMCA after school and I was like picking up and I overheard, I was in sixth grade and two seventh graders who I was friends with-

Is that Pivotal Woman? Talking about Drake and like, I was a fan of Drake and we were all like, I was just kind of like lingering and listening and they had access to music I didn't because they had a laptop so I would listen to them talk about music and they started talking about it

and one of the guys was like, his name was like Antoine or something. Like I know it started with like an A because he had this stupid fucking shirt he would always wear with an A on it, which like I do now. Literally you. Yeah, I do now so here I go. You with an A on it, which I do now. Literally you. Yeah, I do now, so here I go.

You with your E-shirts and E-things. Well, doing it in school was, to me, like, we wore uniforms, but he always had, I don't remember if it was a necklace or a shirt, but he always had an A on him. Anyway, he was explaining to this kid what it was, and I remember I broke, I chimed in, I was like, that's fucking nasty, bruh. I said something like that was and I remember I like broke I like chimed in I was like

that's fucking nasty bro like I would like I said something like that I was like cleaning and picking up like papers and stuff cuz it was we were like always the three last kids to get picked up cuz our parents worked so late was the scarlet letter about a girl being a slut like a harlot yeah I think it's that she wasn't a slut but she got treated like one I think she just like banged one person and then she got. I'm just thinking about that. That's a whore if you ask me.

I read that book in school. Isn't that kind of crazy? I read it in school too. Like in high school. I didn't read that. I've never read that. That's kind of. I saw it easy A though.

They're pushing straight agendas on us very fucking early on. Straight agendas? Yeah. Exactly. How would you have liked the book? Should have been gay dudes. What? Sounds way better.

Should have been gay dudes. Or gay girls. At a K-Spa in LA. I have a link in my notes app, and it's an Instagram link, and I have no idea what it is, and it's a topic that I apparently wanted to talk about. So we're gonna open it together and see what it's all about.

Oh, it's literally just a Justin Bieber. Like it's literally just Justin Bieber lies. Once Justin fell out of a seat on an airplane and he was so, or he was too lazy to get up so he slept on the floor. Me when I lie. I melt when a girl kisses my neck, even a kiss, I just melt, quotes, he said that.

March 1st, 1994, 12 56 a.m. on a Tuesday, St. Joseph Hospital, second floor, room 126, seven pounds, 14 ounces, AB plus positive blood type, Dr. Bexleham. Oh, and it was raining, friend, when was I born? Me, I don't know, what am I, your mother or something? Is that like a, like, his birthday. You're a huge fan.

How do people find out people's blood types? Cause I'm not kidding, hearing you say that genuinely, I want to see my face if it changed because my mind went to a scary place. Why? Like, oh my god, no, we really are so far from God. Like, why would you know the blood type of a man whose songs you like? This one actually like really resonated with me. I'm not even joking. Like this one legitimately, like, I was like even joking like this one legit yeah I've been there as real as fuck I've been there can somebody draw me like that yeah me like that with y'all oh um should I did you fart no what I thought you farted but I think your chair made a sound like what sorry your fucking chairs made out cheese. I don't fart anymore.

Have you been silenced or were you silent? I think it's were you silent or were you silenced? Because if you ask at the opposite, you're kind of just like. Guys, House Republicans blocked the release of the Epstein files, which is great, right? Wait, that's so good. Wait, oh my god, wait, so no one's gonna know anything about it?

Yeah, it seems, well. I want that goddamn list so fucking bad, I want that list so fucking bad, oh my god. It's really insane, that's fucking crazy, cause yeah, Democrats voted to release it, and the Republicans blocked it. And wasn't it a whole Democrat, like wasn't it a fabricated lie by the Democrats

if they didn't want it relieved? Yeah. Girl, fuck all of them. No, no, that's, no guys, you guys are looking at it wrong. They're just like, guys, we seriously, we see how mad you're getting. And like, we just don't wanna like, we know there's nothing in there.

Like we know, but by the off chance that there's something like random in there, we just don't want you guys to see that, like that'd be fucked up. It's so crazy that they can just be like, oh well there's actually no problem, everything's fine. So there's no reason to show you. Well the Insane Doctor Saga continues by the way, y'all.

You're into him, you're into him. No, no. This is your kink, This is Drew's kink. Yeah, my kink is doctors. No, y'all, it's fucking crazy. Drew wants someone to be kind of creepy with him. So, they don't know any of this, but my doctor, Tuesday, 9.32 p.m., texts me. Hello. I say, hey.

Why does he have your number? He texts me back I say hey why does he have your number he texts me back hello I don't know I don't know like was that was he trying to hook up with me at 9 32 p.m. like is that because why is he texting me that way and why is he texting my number why is he texting my number and then two days later at 1230 a.m. he says, Andrew, do I know you question mark? Kindly, Dr. M. I say, yup, I'm a patient of yours. You gave me your number on Tuesday

to keep you updated with my symptoms. 6 a.m. Please do, how are you? Sorry, these political groups are sending four texts per patient text. And it's throwing me off a bit When you are awake, please let me know if I can be of any help kindly. Dr. M My god, I didn't even see these Taking the meds you gave me hoping that helps Yes, but what meds? Help me here, please.

Name first, last name, date of birth. Thank you, literally, literally a minute later. Thank you, diagnosis question mark. What meds did I give? Thank you, buddy, Dr. M. Why is my doctor texting me? At 9.32 PM. Doctor is playing around with his prescription bad, and he's on some freaky shake Like literally what the fuck

Like it's getting to a point like can you please befriend him and take one of those pads? I'm not kidding like I'm not kidding No, I really like one of my dreams when I was younger was to steal the prescription pad from a doctor And just write a bunch of opiate prescriptions to myself I'm not even joking. I would literally fantasize about that. I'm not kidding I would literally fantasize about a doctor seeing that my mom was showing up completely Blacked out and had just driven her three kids to pick up more meds because she was withdrawing and they wouldn't give it to her But they would give it to her

and she'd throw a bunch back in the car and we'd go home. Oh my God. You fucking reaction. I would think about hitting my finger with a hammer or shutting my hand in a door to get perks. I want them so bad y'all. I want them so fucking bad. I wasn't even like physically addicted to them yet either. I was just like, it was purely psychological addiction.

I was like, I want that shit. That was me when I met y'all and you were all already addicted to like jewels and stuff, but I still hadn't had an affinity for nicotine and I would still smoke it because I was like guys I'm just like them I love my jewel but I never had a head rush or anything it actually made me like gross out. Also our house is fully haunted y'all we haven't talked about this yet. Our house is legitimately haunted. Actually yeah I don't think we even started from the beginning. Yeah. From the beginning of the story. I think we did, like, to fill y'all in, we moved into this house the day, like, the LA fire started.

And we were in evac zones when the LA fire started. So we moved all of our shit into this house, and then that night had to put all of our shit back in our cars and evacuate and stay at Orion's house. But, Inya being Inya was like, I don't think we really need to evacuate, which we ended up not needing to evacuate,

but I was just like being better safe than sorry, let's do it. So we would be talking. Also to clarify, we were in an evac zone that was really further off in the perimeter And we were like on top of our shit like watching What's that app called watch? Firewatch?

Watch duty or something like that Yeah, watch duty like we are keeping up with everything and I also at this point We moved in and out like three times No, literally four times Literally four times we moved all of our shit in then moved it out moved it all in moved it out It was crazy. It was really crazy And then on your birthday a fire started like literally three seconds away from our house, and we were like oh great I Thought it was over

But anyways that's That's a part of the story because when we were sitting in the living room We just started talking about like oh how funny how funny, like, of course we move in and this house is gonna fucking burn down, like, are we gonna die inside this house? And then we have like a metronome in our living room would randomly start going off, like just randomly would start going off.

And we were like, wait, what the fuck? Like anytime we talked about dying in this house, the metronome would start. Yeah, it would start going off, but it was usually when we were saying like, this house isn't like this, we're not dying in this house, the metronome would start. Yeah, it would start going off. But it was usually when we were saying like, this house isn't like this, we're not dying in this house. We're not dying in this house. And then it would go off.

So I've convinced myself I won't be dying in this house. I'll probably stay in this house forever. But also, I genuinely do think I think our ghost is a woman. No, it's a girl. It's a girl. I think we vibe. She's a girl. I think we vibe. She's crazy, but I think we vibe because we're both crazy. No, I really do think she's just like

playing little pranks on us. Like I don't really like actually believe in ghosts. I don't think like the older I get the more I'm like, oh, I don't know. I probably have said I did, but like, We're going opposite of each other. Yeah, yeah. But that's also because I'm spiraling

into spiritual psychosis, and I feel like ghosts is kind of my starting ground. But there was also, we have this wood room in our house, and there's dimmer switches on the light boxes or whatever the fuck, the light switches are dimmer, the ones you twist, and those, the first two weeks we were in here, like in the dining room specifically,

these light switches would literally just fly across the room. Like they would pop off and fly across the room. And we were like, oh, like there's like an explanation for that. Like the first time it happened, maybe it was just tight and it just like popped itself off. But then the second time it was on there, like super loose.

And like, if it was gonna fall, it would have just like fallen down, but it literally like shot across the fucking room. It was like really bizarre. And we were, you were in there. Yeah, I was sitting in the living room, where I was like, I was right next to that room, and I heard it, and it was loud as fuck,

cause also I have one of those switcher, things in my room. Oh my God, also while you were talking, I took the biggest gulp of Topo Chico and had air in my mouth. It looks really small actually. Wasn't like that big of a gulp. Well, that's cause you're like this huge fucking creature

and I'm this like very dainty girl. You're a big oaf. Yeah, you're like this like very, very like. Imposing figure. Yeah, you're like this very, very like... Imposing figure. Yeah, like, whoa. Whoa. Creature. Your guys' house is haunted

because it feels very haunted. Yeah, it does. But I really like that about it because I feel like our last place felt very haunted. It was really spooky, creepy. I need that. But the light switches were flying off in this dining room That's also there's a point to be made there girl chill. Sorry. I literally can't

into the mic and do it But like look see see where times are headed like it used to be like oh you're one of the boys if you're like a girl Who burps we like with that and now it's like oh my god you Disgusting bitch have some manners like go to the bathroom. That was very hands-made Yeah, I'm sorry Far into the mic if you want to And you know we could even set up a mic that's dedicated to your farts, and then I could create a database of your farts, and then we could, whatever.

Wait, what were you saying, Drew? What were you saying? Oh. What time is it? How many? I'm not kidding, that like, Yeah. Oh, like I literally keep swallowing so much air I'm gonna throw up.

Okay, go. But anyways, like I was home alone like two weeks ago or something and I was just all the way in my room and I didn't know I was home alone. Like I had just fallen asleep I actually took like a two-hour nap and I woke up and like it was like Getting dark or it was it was like nine actually and just like, oh, Anya and Josh are probably home. And then I hear sounds on the other side of the house, footsteps in that dining room.

And I was like, oh, weird that they're in the dining room, but I guess Josh got back or something. Literally did not think a thought about it, but it was steps. I heard shuffling and steps. I was like, whoa, that's weird. I'm getting chills, y'all. And then, mind you, the dining room

is right behind this wall. But anyways, I'm like chilling in my room and then I hear the front door unlock and open. And I'm like, oh, it must have been Inya in the dining room. And then Josh is just getting back or something or vice versa. And then I just hear Josh walk through our kitchen, that little middle area,

and I hear him just go... I heard legitimate fear in his voice. He was like, hello? And I was like, yeah, I'm here. I'm like, kicking in my bedroom my bedroom whatever and then no response back and then Josh like Walks back to my room and he's like literally pale He's like pale white like clear like see-through and he was like were you just in the dining room? And I was like no why and he was like well when I was walking by

The door in the dining room, it slammed shut. It didn't like fall shut, it like slammed shut. And then I heard knocking on the other side of the door. He heard like six knocks, like that. And then he was like, are you swear you're not like pranking me? And Josh was like, he like opened the door fully expecting to see like me or you or Josiah

like playing a prank on him. And I mean, he was petrified. And then I didn't immediately tell him that I had heard fucking footsteps over there like 30 minutes before, because I was like, I don't wanna freak him out even more. But then I literally just ran out of the house and went to the gym and it was like 10 p.m.

Cause I was like, I cannot deal with this shit. But now every time I walk through that room or walk by that fucking swinging door, I get like full body chills, like full body tea. Like it's crazy. But yeah, I literally am like, oh, maybe that like little room is like haunted. I think the house in general is haunted.

But if you look at that room. Like all the doors on like near my room swing open and close all the time and it is not wind or a sea. Like I trust and believe I look. And sometimes I am like, oh, this is just like because of the way the house is built and it's really old.

Like there are certain doors when I open it, I know like the door across is gonna like shuffle. But fully at night, there have been times where I think Azul has crept into my room because I leave it cracked for him. And I look over and my door has, in the middle of the night, no windows open, no anything, no AC on.

My door will just swing open. And I will always get up because I look to see if Azul's there, because I can't see him from when I'm laying down in bed and there have been times I it's no one. I just heard it sound in that fucking room a little boom. But anyways I forgot to tell this part of the story. I go to the gym, work out, get back home around like midnight. And normally Josh is in bed by 11 because his like sleeping is so bad. But he was just chilling in the living 11 because his like sleeping is so bad

but he was just chilling in the living room because he was literally petrified too. And I just like go. Leaving him home alone is so funny. Well no, I begged him to come. Like I was like, please come. But I was like, I literally am not staying here. Like it was so freaky and Josh was like,

yeah, I might be like leaving too. He was like, I might be going back to OC. But, and I was like, if that's the case then I'm going to spend the night at Mason's house. Like girl girl fuck no But anyways we get home or I get home and I'm just like chilling In the living room with Josh and we like kind of talk about it again And then like we just started talking about other shit, and I'm not kidding like 10 minutes later

Or no, it was probably like 30 minutes of us just like talking in the living room Or no, it was probably like 30 minutes of us just like talking in the living room We hear a fucking door creak and I was like, are you fucking kidding me and Josh? I mean Josh didn't say anything to each other and then I was like you heard that right and he was like I heard that and we went over there and that fucking door was shut again But it made a fucking creaking sound like a door creaking sound and we were like was that was it any of these other doors? So I go to every other door and test if they were creaking, and none of them fucking creaked, dude. And I was like, why was there a creaking sound?

Why was there a fucking ookie-spreaky creaking sound? It might have been my door. No, it was for sure. From like that area? Yeah, it was for sure over there, and then me and Josh were like, okay, that's our cue, we're going to bed. So I went and locked my door.

Dude, that's so funny And I was so scared. I don't think I've had like anything necessarily paranormal just happened to me that I can think of. I just like, I feel her there, bro. No, it's a girl and she's chill. But Kai also thinks it's like, there's some energy in this house. Well, to be fair, there was a window.

We have like these windows that you have to like push open because they're, again, it's an old fucking house. And a lot of them are like stuck with old paint because it got like that kind of treatment. And there's like this door that you have to like push open. And we did wake up the other day and it was like not a windy day.

That's never happened with that door. Or that's never happened with that window. Like it's never just popped open and at like 9.20 the other morning, we woke up to the scary alarm going off and it's because that window just like The fuck open like it was oaky spooky And then I thought as well was like the perpetrator and he wasn't he was scared and hiding which is good He hears the alarm and runs and hides

Josh set the alarm off this morning. We've done that a bunch this week. Yeah, I thought we got used to it But we'll never get used to it, But I get the notifications on my goddamn phone. I do love setting the alarm though. But no, literally since that invasion, like I call it an invasion, but since like that dude. I mean, yeah, somebody came, that's an invasion. I literally like. Came into your home.

Literally, I've like never been able to be in a house alone like comfortably, like since that moment. And actually having a security system has legitimately changed my life. I'm able to just chill and not be worried about it. Oh my God, also it's just, again, it all goes back to it being such an old fucking house. I don't know what fucking speakers.

Me getting fucking chased through a goddamn house, me. Me getting fucking chased. That's crazy That is so fucking annoying, but you're getting Through that I'm staying there for six years I know we and like we were like we should probably move out, but we didn't have the money We literally because I remember my dad got so fucking mad because I had told him about that I was in Miami when that happened and then we came back and somebody tried to set the apartment on fire. I called my dad and he was like you need to move and I just had to be like dude

We barely made this move. Yeah, we barely made this happen. We barely had this happen like I can't no I'm staying here and if here is where I die here is where I fucking lie bro like And I love it and I love that. I love that spot. I miss lie, bro. Like I'm saying. Real as fuck. And I love it and I love that spot. I miss it a lot. Aw. I had a ghost encounter when I was in high school. I was at home alone. What, did you look in the mirror?

Ah! No, that'd be if he had a monster encounter. Ah! Oh yeah, I had an encounter. So I was at home alone and then I went pee and I was peeing and it was like a summer night so the door was, or the window was open to let the cool air in at night.

And I heard a woman's like blood curdling scream from, and it wasn't like, there was no reverb on it. Like it was pretty close. It was probably like seven feet away. That's what it sounded like. And I freaked out, I ran into my room. And then I pretty quickly went around the side to look through a window to see into my backyard

because I was like, I don't know. And there was nothing there. And then my printer printed out my Facebook page. It was really weird. Whoa, what the fuck? Yeah, my printer turned on and just printed out my Facebook page. So you saw that paper?

No, ah cuz that was that's crazy That's that paper cuz I would have fucking launched myself at the printer and ate the paper No, we had something similar like that happen. That is so fucking scary, bro. I'd kill myself. I think the most realistic explanation is that I was getting pranked by someone, but. Your sister, have you ever spoken to her about it

or was she not living there at the time? She did not do stuff like, like I'm sure I told her about it, but there's no fucking way. I also think that's when she was in college. How old were you? I think I was like a junior, but there's no fucking way. I also think that's when she was in college. How old were you? I think I was like a junior in high school. Ooh, fuck.

Yeah. But I'm like, maybe someone, I didn't live near anyone who went to school with me. So weird. We also had something like very similar, like that Chi happened to us at our old apartment. I mean, we've talked about it before, but like blood curdling,

like children screaming in our front yard, we had just taken sleep aid. And then like we go look and there's no child out there. But a family moving in, like a family of only three women with duffel bags. Giant fucking bags, bro. Oh yeah, you sent me like an audio message with it. Yeah. I remember.

Oh yeah. It sounded insane. Yeah, it was fucking creepy an audio message with it. Yeah, I remember. Oh, yeah, it sounded insane Yeah, it was fucking creepy. We if we can find that we should play it cuz that shit was Terrifying We were like in my car like oh no, no, no, like we can't turn down the street We have to go like around the block because like if they see us, but that dude was literally chasing us Okay. Yeah, I will say we also just lived in a busy area That was like a huge intersection of like drunk crazy fucking people and there was a guy Who like we stopped the car because we were trying to look down the block

To see if we saw anything and we saw him and from far away It looked like it looked like there was a kid on his shoulders But really it was a bag and then the closer he got he saw us looking at him and he started running at the car Yeah, you literally ran at the car, bro. Like what the fuck? Oh my gosh And then like also like people would just throw like wine bottles and glass bottles at our house in the middle of the night And it would be the scariest thing you've ever fucking heard It's fucked up because at one point I literally just got used to it. Yeah

Like I used to be scared but also there was just always People screaming outside the windows like there was just always people screaming on that street. They just can't stop screaming I just can't stop screaming I'm back. Sorry guys. I had to pee so bad. My belly was full of piss But now I'm empty that was a very demure pee demure pee. Sometimes Kai doesn't pee demure. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes you piss like a racehorse. Like you're frying pork chops in there.

But that's cool and masculine. You guys were talking, so I was like, let me bounce it off the side of the bowl. Is that a thing? A strong stream? Yeah. Men are supposed to be loud and like disruptive and horrible.

Burping and farting. Yeah, but if we catch you doing any of those things, you're done, right, Drew? Yeah, you're done. Just had to make sure we were on the same page. I could beat the fuck out of both of you. Honestly, yeah. Yeah.

Who would win if me and Kai fought? We were kinda talking about that. I think Kai would win. Well, what we landed on is I think I could overpower you, because I have before, you know this, obviously. We're not friends. We're not friends. But, I do think that Drew has more of a dog in him.

I don't really have a dog in me. What does that mean? I will see red. Yeah, Drew will see red. I see red. I see dead people. Yeah, I think I would win. Well, my buddy said I would win, so.

Yeah, and he better have. So that was the right answer. Yeah, and I feel like if we were fighting, it would be like, I was doing something in here, and then you were like, why are you still here? And I'm like, I can do whatever I want. Are you about to turn this into a scenario where you guys have sex?

Oh no, I was just, no, not at all. I'm just saying, I would do something to piss him off, then he would grab my hair around the back. Okay, okay, okay. What were you gonna like? Oh, I'm gonna completely- I'm describing a fight. Okay.

Anyway, Kai saw me freak out when we left the other night because we got in this Uber and I was really, really observant of his driving. And he was going, we were leaving an area that had like a lot of bends and turns. And one, he was like kind of whipping the piss out of this car and it's like a bigger car. And I just didn't like that.

Unironically, we were going around like the reservoir and he was just whipping the piss out of this big ass car. And I don't fuck with that because I'm like, I'm not your friend. I don't fucking know you. You're supposed to drive like you have common sense with two strangers in your car. And I was in my head tweaking out and convinced. Also, it was really late. And that is another thing.

Like, I do become very observant late Ubers because I am so fearful of somebody like overworking themselves and just everyone in fucking danger. They're like playing with their phone. Yeah. And they're doing the most dangerous thing. Oh, well, that was the other thing. His phone, he didn't have something to carry his phone and he didn't have the map up here. He had his phone and his cup holder. So the whole fucking time he is driving, he's whipping the piss out of this car. And the whole time he's like. Yeah, he wasn't. He was probably looking at the road like 40% of the time.

Bitch, are you fucking crazy? We're gonna be on this road for two miles. Like, why do you have to keep looking down? If you have OCD bitch, I got you with the Prozac. Like trust yourself, I'm in your car and I don't wanna be in in it anymore so I literally was just freaking the fuck out in my head and I was kind of just like yeah I was just having like a bit of an OCD like freak out and then I just was like laughing

yeah Kai and Inya left together oh yeah Kai was in the car the whole time. And then I slept here. I woke up here. I got home three hours later at 5 a.m. and Kai was here. And I thought he left. And then I wake up at like 10 and I hear Kai's voice. My sexy ass voice is the first thing you woke up to. No, he slept in our cot. It's cute. I love that we have a cot. Apparently Josh walked in and he was like, there's an ugly person on the bed. Wait, you went to the art studio? There's an ugly white dude.

Yeah, I slept in the art studio. Wait, why did he go there? He went in there because I brought all the aluminum foil in there to do clay figures and he needed aluminum foil so he could stink the kitchen up by cooking his salmon that he puts no ingredients other than salt and pepper on. Josh cooks salmon and broccoli and it is the smelliest thing I've ever smelled. Kai, every time he walks into our house, it smells like actual dog shit in here.

In the kitchen. And it's broccoli. It's literally because he's like, he's good about it now. One time I was like, you need to shut all the doors and open windows and air it out. And he does it every time now. Well, you guys also have this base. It's like a very yeasty dairy smell. Yeah.

It smells like spoiled milk. Kefir, kefir. Yeah. But old. It's in his coffees in the sink. It's all my moldy cups in the sink. Yeah. Sorry guys.

Like, oh my God. Oh, but basically, yeah, I made a stop. I asked if it was okay if I changed the stop to the Uber and he was like, okay, and it was really close. And he was like, are you okay? And then I just lied and I kept saying, I felt like I was gonna throw up because I was nauseous. And then I just got out of the car

and he was like waiting there for another ride and I felt so bad, but I was like, I'm not getting back in his car. I just literally feel unsafe in his car. I can't describe it. He kind of reminded me of a cousin I really don't fuck with. Like I just know his everything about him.

He was just a bad driver. I just don't believe. I felt in my soul that if I stayed in that car and it was gonna be a long car ride and we were gonna have to get on the highway. And I was like, if I feel unsafe with you on the fucking street where no one else is alive and around, I don't trust you on a highway with other

more fucked up people on like a Saturday night. And you got corn nuts at the gas station. I got home. Corn nuts and sour strips. And we saw that in the kitchen and it was the most shocking thing I've ever seen in my life. I need that so bad right now. I know, I'm like, I'm gonna go fuck them up. I think that's the first time I've seen a bag

of corn nuts in a decade. Yeah, at least 10 years. And Drew put me on. Yeah, I put her on the, did you get the ranch? No, I got Mexican, period. Me and Kai made it home by the way, Kai called. Made out at home. When I find a good parking spot,

it's legitimately spiritual for me. It's like, when I see a hummingbird When I find a good parking spot, it's legitimately spiritual for me. It's like, I like it's when I see a hummingbird and I find a good parking spot, it means I'm on the right path. Like you're on the right path to a store. Yeah, exactly. If I go to the store or go to the shop and there's a parking spot right out front,

God wanted you to go in there and give your money. Yeah, it's meant to be. I'm stimulating the economy. Like if I'm laying outside and a hummingbird flies above me and kind of floats for a second, it means I'm on the right path. It's like whatever decision I'm mulling over in my head is the right decision. I agree with you because a lot,

but the problem is a lot of things for me become signs that aren't supposed to be signs. Yeah, it's really bad. Like it's literally, like it's really bad. But I need that because I need constant reassurance but I don't have or trust anybody to give me reassurance. Cause I don't trust anybody. I can literally like, if we're about to like go out and then something like happens inside the house

and we're like, I don't know how to describe what I'm saying, but like, I take anything as a sign and I'm like, if I would have gone out, the party would have gotten shot up or if I was gonna go out, we would have died in a car crash. No, we do shit like that a lot. Like we'll be like, oh, should we go do this in 20 minutes

and we'll be getting ready and like, we're like, all right, like we, oh my God, we somehow got ready in 20 minutes and then we like can't find the car keys or something. We genuinely convince ourselves. It is a sign that God is trying to keep us in the house to keep us protected from evils outside. And it's really bad. No, yeah, it's really bad.

We're just like. We're just Hermes, bro. It's like, our OCD comes together, but like it's okay though, cause I'm safe. Look at me, I'm safe. Wait, did I tell you guys about the hot bar girl at Erawan? No. I went to the Erawan and it's the one on Beverly,

and I was in line and I ordered a... Steak. I ordered steak and like double buffalo cauliflower. And the girl I think is like, she was to the podcast and she was just like, well, this isn't a very bottom friendly meal and then everyone next to me was like what that's so That is Somebody in public it was like perfectly delivered to this isn't very bottom friend. Yeah, the people next to me the people next to me were like, what are you talking about?

Did you just say that? Yeah, it was so awesome. Dude, that's so advanced. That's amazing, I feel like they should say that to more people. Like they should just start... Just quips about their meal. Well, I was sobbing.

I was like literally crying my eyes out. Like I was literally sobbing down. Like I've been very quick to tears recently and I was just like in my room, everybody was gone. It was just me in the house and I was just like in my room everybody was gone it was just me in the house and I was like crying and I was like boohoo crying I mean like boohoo cried in a long time and I was like boohoo crying and then I see a text on my phone saying I'm here like can you come open the garage and the door for me and so I I'm like, okay, yeah,

I will. I didn't really realize who it was, but then I realized it was the fucking plumber and I was like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. So I like quickly like wiped my eyes, I like wiped the tears off my face, I like like sniffled and I like tried to like make myself presentable. My eyes were like bloodshot red and I like tried to like make myself presentable my eyes were like bloodshot red and I like walked and opened the door for him and like he looked at me and like He could definitely tell that I was just crying and he wanted to so badly be like, are you okay? But like we don't have that rapport relationship yet, but he was very gentle

Yeah, how often do you want him to come over? Oh all the time, but he was very gentle and sweet with me Which is not the guy who fucked the sink last time? It is the guy that fucked the sink last time, yeah. And he fixed- So he does aftercare. He fixed my pipes. He really, like, he really fucking- Put the work in? He put the works in, he rearranged my pipes

so they drain better because- Did he give you audio, like, stimulation? Oh, I do have audio message of him working in my room because it was the loudest sound I have ever heard in my goddamn life. How do we always choose to rent a place that has the worst plumbing? Oh, mind you, I'm trying to cry.

I'm trying to cry and then this is happening. Ah! Ah! That sounds like war of the worlds. Yeah it literally did. And like my whole floor was like vibrating and shit but now I have a sink that drains and it was never really my fault. Someone did break a cup in my sink, shards of glass down the pipe,

and it clogged really quickly after that. What cup was it? I don't remember. And I literally don't remember. All of my cups, the first nice cups that I ever got, all of them are gone, because they were like, so the Jade and like emerald. No, it was clear. It was like glass

No, I don't know fuck no, I trust you I believe you I love you It's probably just the ghost and it wasn't even me the greatest joy in life is going school supply shopping Oh, I miss the smell I miss the smell and the anxiety of knowing I wasn't gonna get like a good folder Should we like cosplay it like and go to like a store and go get school supplies like in August No because we're both pushing 30 so it's like 30 No, I just need to experience that again like I really I'm like oh like fuck like the school supplies list like oh my god The list of things you had to get you should have you should join Kai Senates next

You should have, you should join Kai Sennett's next streamer university and then that could be a part of your like, sheer rollout before you go to school, is going back to school shopping. Can we actually go? Like I would love, actually no, I would die. I would feel schizophrenic. Anybody who is a streamer genuinely, wow, kudos to you. I can't imagine, I live my life in fear of being watched

every waking moment. Like what do you mean you put yourself through that? That's amazing, I love it. Should we do media? No, yeah. The social network soundtrack, I listened to it all day yesterday and it was sorry. It's sorry good, it's sorry good.

Oh my God, it's so good. Dude, these texts with your fucking doctor are so funny. Desperate Youth by Santa Gold. I love that song. What song? Desperate Youth by Santa Gold. I don't know. And then,

Theme of Q by Object, or The Goose That Got Away by Object. Theme of Q by Object or The Goose That Got Away by Object. Mine is Daisy Jane by America. I also saw Eddington and it was awesome. Oh, I need to watch that. It was hilarious. Virginia by Eclipse. Eboda on the new Eclipse album is so good.

That album is so good. I literally went down a crazy rabbit hole yesterday and I spent my whole Sunday watching Eclipse interviews and listening to their albums. And their Tiny Desk is so fucking good. I love Tiny Desk. And yeah, that's my video. I saw the girl making a model

of the Tiny Desk music thing, it's really cute. That's awesome. And I watched a movie. Oh, me and Josh watched Seventeen again. Again, I used to be obsessed with that movie and that was funny. And then it actually was funny. It was like such a good movie still.

And I watched Belly, finally. That was like a movie I still hadn't seen somehow and that was good shot well very cool great soundtrack yeah I feel like Eddington like he just wanted to film this like chase scene and he like reverse engineered the script to like make it makes that make sense I think I'm gonna see it tonight I'm really excited yeah it was it was it was goofy oh my media is I'm sorry baby it tonight, I'm really excited. Yeah, it was goofy. Oh, my media is I'm Sorry Baby,

which I don't think we talked about. Oh, we didn't, yeah. It was me and Drew saw that together, and it was really good, and the woman who made it is a first time writer, director, and actor. Yeah. Damn. She may have acted before, but like in her own thing.

It was so sick. It was really good. It was like, and that was like one of my favorite performances I've seen in a long time and just like the way they handled the topic Just mmm chefs kiss. I really wanted to cry like I wanted to sob like I thought it was gonna make me cry but it didn't even like I Mean I got close like a couple times but like It was just done. So good. It was just like done great.

The perfect edging experience? Edgington. Edgington. All right, well, bye! Bye. Bye! This is an iHeart Podcast.