Emergency Intercom - Things are changing

Episode Date: March 28, 2025

literally, nothing is changing. Just wanted to scare you. Welcome back. Have fun. Enjoy. See you next week. Get 365-day returns and free shipping on your order at https://quince.com/intercom. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at https://RocketMoney.com/INTERCOM. Get 20% off sitewide and a free travel case and countertop stand at https://getquip.com/intercom. Upgrade your selling today and sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/intercom.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, we wanted to take another break to thank another sponsor of today's episode, Quince. Guys, we're going on a trip to New York this weekend. New York! And I thought it was always going to be cold, but for some reason it's going to be 50 degrees one day and then 80 degrees in like eight hours. So I will be packing my lightweight European linens from Quince.

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Quince.com slash intercom. With the Fizz loyalty program you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. This episode is brought to you by FX's Dying for Sex on Disney+.

Based on the podcast of the same name, Dying for Sex tells the story of Molly, who is diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, determined to feel everything she can before she can't On the podcast of the same name, Dying for Sex tells the story of Molly, who is diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. Determined to feel everything she can before she can't feel anything, she decides to leave her unhappy marriage to explore her sexuality with some encouragement from her best friend Nikki. FX's Dying for Sex, streaming April 4th only on Disney+. Sign up now at DisneyPlus.com. I'm crazy about you like that I'm flying back, dangerous like a nightmare

Never forget it burns, it's a, it's a, it's a rose toy Oh hoi, oh manamanoi Tadadadada Ayyyyy Was that thing moving or what? It was really shaking, it was shaking so crazy Chat, was it moving? Oh my god, we're back.

Oh, hi guys. Welcome back to Emergency Into. Wow. Wow. Famously, famously. Oh my God, I feel like it really, it does feel like I'm at somebody's house who I used to hook up with a lot.

And then I just like randomly got busy and stopped seeing, but now I'm bored, so I'm back at their house. No, it feels like I'm sitting on the edge of the bed before I hook up clutching my purse. Yeah, literally. There is an energy, there is an energy, but we'll break through.

Well, it's because we also haven't broken in this new space. Because we went on the break kind of right when we moved in because we just needed the time and boy, did I have a time. I genuinely am like, I am so happy. I love my life. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy. I'm so happy. I actually am in like a good, I'm in a better mental state right now than I was like, you are. Yeah, I'm so much better. And I can't tell if it's your Lexapro?

Prozac. I can't tell if it's your Prozac or that you're smoking weed all day every day. Well, no, okay. It's like that must stop. That was the problem during the break because I was like, well, shit. Like I guess.

I don't gotta do shit. I guess I'll smoke. Just smoke. Which I usually don't have anything to do. But what I have found is, I've talked about this on my own YouTube channel, but I have a hard time recording myself, and I've been blessed enough to be doing a lot of deals

with companies I actually really love, but I'm scared of recording myself, so now I have to smoke to record myself, because that's the only way I can feel like a teenager where I'm like, whoa, this is fun again. It's like me taking three shots before every time we record. I'm blackout drunk. Every time we've been recording, I'm blackout drunk.

And then I leave. So the break was good for you. Exactly. I was drinking like probably like five shots a day. It's during the break. A lot less than what you usually get to. Right after we record, I go and like down a handle, a fireball.

Yeah, there's a favorite bar around the corner. It's walking distance. So I don't have to worry about anything. But damn, a lot has fucking happened since we've gone like a lot. I think a lot specifically in your life has changed and like happened. And like a lot has happened.

I'm not gonna talk about any of it. I'm sure y'all can guess, but things. I don't think anyone can guess because it's the last thing anyone would have ever guessed. I know it's something that I Famously am like no no no no never never never I can't see myself doing that But something something has shifted something something has shifted and it's probably Venus and Mercury and retrograde, but like I I'm confident. Let's have that conversation. I know, Drew, literally Drew has had a breakthrough

that has literally made him feel so happy. You know what it is? Is it, I didn't see comments about my appearance and how ugly I was for a month straight. No, that's not just it, bitch, cause you finally got a fucking haircut and I've been trying to force him to upkeep with his haircut and it's almost like,

girl, if you dress up, listen, I like to think of my body like just plain, just me. Actually, this is a hard thing to talk about because when I'm naked, I genuinely think I am like so hot, which is crazy. Me and Elsie were talking about it. I was like, we have the kind of delusion that in my head I'm like, no, no, no, just wait till you see it fully naked. Then you kind of get the picture.

Wait till I'm fully naked and I am propped exactly how I would anticipate someone to see me the way I pose in a mirror. Oh, you can't believe what you're about to see. You can't believe what you're about to tap into. But if you don't dress up that body, then you're just like a body and it's like boring. So you have to just put some pep into your step

because right now you look so sexy. Also I put this jacket on last second because I was like, I'm gonna put this on but I did not intend wearing it the whole time because I have three layers on and it's already 96 degrees inside and it's loud as fuck but. Oh this was my birthday gift to Drew.

This small little artist that like a lot of y'all probably wouldn't know about, like very small, like. Jack Warlow. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, okay. But I have a story that I wanna mention right off the rip because we haven't talked about it in person at all. Y'all, oh my God, so many fucking crazy things

have happened to me and thank God I wrote them all down okay so I me and Inya went to Missouri together to see my grandma my family out there and it was really cute and we played in the snow and we like ran around and it was it was really cute it was really wholesome energy and then she went to Miami but I road trip back to Texas road trip was chill nothing major major happened, like whatever. When I'm leaving. Oh my God. Y'all, when I'm leaving, I'm at the airport in Texas

and the first thing I do when I get through TSA is I go directly, directly to the bathroom. And I'm like, all of the stalls are taken, which is surprising because I'm in terminal D at American or at DFW. Like literally the like it's which is random for the DFW airport or terminal D. Yeah.

Like girl. If you know, you know it's like it's a massive terminal. There's a billion bathrooms, but all of the stalls were full and I like was gonna go into a stall and then like I'm waiting there waiting and then a guy very suspect like pops out of the stall and I just go in right after him.

And it was interesting to me because there was no toilet flush. It was interesting to me. Also Josiah's in the room because Kai left town because he doesn't take his job seriously. Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck about that. He doesn't give a fuck about you guys, so remember that. Remember that. He's got his own little things. We came back. We said we were going to come back

and we're back. Kai, on the other hand, wants to go do other things. Classic straight man behavior. He just wants to go out and run. Oh, you want to go run around and party while like literally we have a job. The Mrs. and Mr. are home, let's talk about this. This job is so important. This job that we do and difficult and very hard. And we do all of this heavy lifting. And like the fact that like I would just sit back in like I edit everything and post it and stuff like seriously, you weren't even there for the struggle of making this art

and like really being important, important to like culture. I'll say it. But anyways, I have where this habit was born of running straight to the bathroom was vaping. I go into the toilet in the airport and hit my vape. And so when this guy came out of the stall that I was going into and didn't flush, I was like, I was sus. A thought popped in my head. I was like, that was weird, but he might have just been vaping, been there, done that. So then reactively doing it. I'm like chilling in the stall because I hang out in the bathroom. I know that's fucking weird, but like I chill in there. I know, Drew spends a lot of time specifically in

the airport bathrooms, which actually after this story genuinely has me thinking because you go to the bathroom all the time in the airport. Like, and most of the time when we're in the airport, we get there early and Drew's in the bathroom the whole time hitting his vape. Yeah, so then I'm like chilling in there, hanging out, doing my thing on my iPhone, playing my videos loud as fuck because I literally don't care. Not shitting, I don't give a fuck. I don't chilling in there, hanging out, doing my thing on my iPhone, playing my videos loud as fuck because I literally don't care.

Not shitting, I don't give a fuck. I don't shit in public. Yeah, I'll play my videos out loud and I'll shit. I don't give a fuck. No, I don't shit in public. And y'all are gonna smell it, hear it. Ew. Like I'm gonna activate all your senses right now, girl.

It's the opposite of a sensory deprivation tank. If you want the opposite of a sensory deprivation tank, sit next to Inya in a stall. Specifically in an airport bathroom. Yeah, so then I like do my thing. I go back to the gate for a second and then the airplane's about the board and I actually have to pee this time.

So I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go back to the same bathroom. And y'all. Because you like the vibes. Yeah, because the energy is nice. There's, every airport I frequent, there are specific bathrooms I like to go to And y'all, the energy is nice. Every airport I frequent, there are specific bathrooms I like to go to and that specifically MIA has the best airport bathrooms ever period. Okay, continue.

So she, or so I head back to the same bathroom, head to the exact same stall I was in and the door was unlocked. I pushed it open, y'all. And I see a man with his pants down to his ankle up against the wall like this. Pants down to his ankle, ass up against the wall. Dick and balls through the fucking toilet paper dispenser. Dick in balls through the toilet paper dispenser. Wait, balls included?

Yes, dick in balls. All the whole thing. The whole thing. Ball is crazy. Ew, you just saw his appendage, like where the skin meets the body. I didn't see it. You saw where the crease meets the body.

I didn't see his dick in balls, but I saw him leaned up against the toilet paper dispenser with his pants around his ankle immediately I was like gay man cruising duh, and then he like sees me whips around Turns bright fucking red I've never seen someone turn that red in my entire life Rips up his pants and like freaks out and then I shut the door and I am like Cackling like I am laughing so loud outside of the stall.

And then I was like, oh, bitch, I'm waiting right here. There were other stalls available. This is where the crazy behavior starts. I'm waiting right here. I guess to be fair, He just sexually assaulted me. He just assaulted you also. Like it's a public offense and it's a felony

because it's literally in like a government building. Yeah, so I'm standing there. I'm standing there waiting so they can see me so I can see them. The guy that I caught walks out. Oh, no, no, no. The guy that was blowing him or giving him a hand job, I'm not going to assume, was in the- You better be giving a hand job in a fucking airport stall now.

You don't know gay men. That is Girl, you don't know gay men. That is disgusting. You don't know gay men. The other guy comes out first, straightest, passing, rugged, rugged cowboy hat, whole fucking fit on, blue collar worker guy walks out, head down. Was he hot? Freaking out. Yeah, he was straight.

And walks out, doesn't wash his hands, mind you, or his face, and just walks straight out of the bathroom. Then the guy- Okay, yeah, getting on the plane with like dick spit in your face is crazy. And your beard is crazy. I don't even see, I don't even take that into account. That's- Yeah, really chopped.

And then the guy that I caught comes out and like head down, looks up me scurries away also doesn't wash his hands nor his dick and balls but anyway crying laughing at this point and I cannot believe that of all people that would happen to me but thank fucking God it happened to me because if it was any other person waiting in line or any other person going to the bathroom, they would be in jail, they would have literal charges. If it was a child, like, God forbid it was a fucking child that walked in on that, like, holy shit, crazy fucking vibes, but it doesn't stop there.

So I go into the stall, obviously, because I was gonna investigate, because I was like, what is going down here? Me when I've been wearing that trench coat every day for the past few days, I like, because I'm always like, that's great. Buttoned all the way to the top. Buttoned all the way to the top.

I walk in, so I find out that the toilet paper dispensers in the airport, like that are the big silver metal boxes that have like keys on them, you can open them all the way and it opens to the other side which is creepy as fuck but they're just randomly unlocked so like guys test the theory out and then I waited there I got on sniffies and I downloaded the app and I hit that guy up that was in the other stall and he came and gave me sloppy toppy before my flight. What? Wait, what? You did not tell me that part. Did you pay for it? No. Oh my god. He serviced me and

worshiped me. Just kidding, obviously. But no, I was like really, I was like how does this fucking work? This is crazy. Well, like I do my thing in the bathroom, go back to my gate, guess who's fucking on my flight back to LA. Of course he was going to LA, the godless fucking country or the godless city of LA where all the evil gays exist. He is on my fucking flight, also no shade, biggest fucking ass I've ever seen in my life. That's not shade, that's like, he's working it.

No. He knows exactly what he has, that's why he's getting service to the DSW airport right now. I've never seen someone. Wait, was it the guy who was sucking or getting the service? Getting the service done.

I've never seen someone that anxious in my entire life, by the way. Like pacing on the phone. And also like I was like on the phone with Inya at the time cause I was putting my. Drew has his phone on speaker in public. If Drew calls you, couldn't believe it. Drew has his phone on speaker in public. If Drew calls you, don't fucking answer because he has the phone on speaker in public

and he was in public with his phone on speaker talking about this man 10 feet away from him. That just committed a crime. I don't give a fuck. I really don't care. And I was like, should I take a picture of him? So I took like three pictures of him to show Inya. I guess, yeah, you know what to be fair

This is the best outcome is some random motherfuckers talking about you completely anonymously We are not crazy enough to put any pictures, but like I know what you look like actually I fully forgot what he looked like I remember he was wearing like a light color pair of pants like maybe white pants. Yeah, and he had a huge ass That's all I remember. Oh, he has a huge ass like he's like him. Like a big fucking stinky butt that's full of poop. He's got the trunk and the trunk. No, no. It was head. I mean, I don't know what happened. To wear white pants and be playing that game in the airport bathroom, I don't think he was getting fucked. Josie was asking if we think he got fucked in the bathroom. But also Tia's, I was like, maybe this is like a part of it,

like a part of the taboo for him, like leaving the door unlocked and people catching him because I know that's like a thing, like people like being watched or whatever. Well, I mean, that's essentially what like couple accounts have turned into is like, it's just the average American has now been taught because of how much media we watch to like low key be into voyeurism question mark.

Like it's been trained on to us because one thing the US will do is it will employ the most mid average looking usually white couple you've ever seen because Americans eat it up. And it's like all that shit where it's like I smacked my girlfriend's ass to see how she would act. Or it's like, I bent over in front of my boyfriend while he was playing games. Do you remember when we got the iPhone controllable vibrator and we went to- In public? Yeah, and did that. Yeah, that was fun. It was so fun.

Where was it, Buffalo Wild Wings? I was tweaking when it was inside of me. We did it on me first in my butt and then we did it to you I was tweaking when it was inside of me. We did it on me first in my butt and then we did it to you. And then you put it in my undies. In your bajinis. But thankfully I wore black underwear so there was no like evidence that it had been in your butt already. Yeah we gotta shut the actual fuck up. But yeah I caught a guy cruising in DFW and I'm not gonna lie. DFW stands for don't fuck women apparently. I'm not gonna lie.

That was a very exciting moment in my life. Yeah, I don't think anything that exciting happened to me while I was gone. Well, a lot of shit has happened. A lot of shit has happened. A lot of things. Well, someone hit my car today. That's something that fucking happened, actually. Someone hit Inya's fucking car. This is the second time my old car never got hit.

I finally got to a place where I was like, you know what, I can have like a nice car that would impress my parents and all my friends and also has the best sound system ever. Within a month of having that car, somebody hit the side of it and now someone just hit it again. So like someone knocked on our door this morning and like I'm not going to be mean but like Ozempic face down like melting off his body like and also like y'all think like like you the nicest man ever yeah yeah but also y'all think like ozempic face is like some molecular thing no it's because

people think i have a big face because i became a woman that literally like ozempic face because you do ozempic i'm tired of i'm tired of sitting behind this fucking lie this fucking lie Inna does tell a zympic she does more Grow up, grow up She does enough ozempic to kill an elephant That's not true, that's not true Stop being ignorant, you're ignorant People think I did ozempic and they're like she has ozempic face

No bitch you've been looking at me since I was pre-pubescent Like I literally am just like I'm in my mid 20s Don't say that Do not say that I was pre-pubescent. Like I literally am just like, I'm in my mid-twenties. Don't say that. Do not say that. for and you pay $12 a month for it and then you make your account and then you're paying the subscription monthly monthly monthly and you only use it never because you would never use an app like that but you're still paying $12.99 a month for this subscription you forget about it but then you're charged over

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Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash intercom today. Go to rocketmoney.com slash intercom today. That's rocketmoney.com slash intercom. Rocketmoney.com slash intercom. Hey guys, we wanted to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors. Quip! Okay, I went to the dentist recently and I hadn't gone for like two years and I'd probably been using the quip for like what like four or five months now?

Yeah. And the way they told me I had beautiful stunning gums, stunning gums. I wasn't there. I believe it because of the toothbrush but I think you're like you're making it more about something you did and rather than actually just getting a practical good toothbrush that like does the job. Well that's what I'm saying the toothbrush did the job but the the hygienist was really bizarre but she said I had beautiful gums and I think it's because of no it is never never gotten a compliment on my fucking gums before as somebody with a receding hairline and gum line literally this has changed the game because

I'm not kidding a toothbrush that stops Doing its job when I'm doing a bad job is exactly what I need every time I'm putting too much pressure It just turns off and it's changed how aggressively I brush my teeth I'm not that aggressive anymore, which is like a actual huge stone for me the quip 360 literally revolves around you No, but it literally It it actually compared to my old toothbrush

I wish I could show it but I probably am not allowed to. My old toothbrush is literally like boar hair and like four inches long and like barely fits in my mouth. So I was not getting the job done. This. Also it erased my gag reflex. I don't know. Fuck. Sorry.

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No, I love it though. I love it. I love it when you eat it. I love it when you eat it. I love it, I love it when you eat it. Oh yeah, so he comes up to the door. I ignored the doorbell because I thought it was Josiah and I was like, Drew can get it.

Yeah, I know. Everyone decides to ignore the doorbell. It makes me get it because I'm the furthest away. We had already set up and I had to get ready and get all beautiful for my girls. That's true. It was honestly perfect case scenario though because I'm glad that happened to me

and I dealt with it. But like, he was like, hey, is this your car? And I was like, yeah, it's one of our cars. And he was like, well, I just hit it with my rental. And I was like hey is this your car and I was like yeah it's one of our cars and he was like well I just hit it with my rental and I was like oh no worries like he was I could tell he had like really sincere energy um well he like takes me over to the car and he's like yeah I actually like built the house across the street and da da da and he's talking about it all well I mean I guess I'm really sharing much information he in a RAV4. But like, that's how Ellen saved so much money. Yeah, the editors, the editors in spray on bitches to as well.

Yes. Um, there's not much to say to this story. The point of the story is this fucking video of Drew. Yeah. He was taking a video of me. Or he was taking a video of the damage and then he sent it to me And it's I was not I was not prepared to be on film like I was literally not prepared Lights, camera, action, Drew Phillips! Yeah, you play, you pay, right? So a little car that I accidentally hit Me saying exactly

Remember correctly. Okay Left front damage and I've offered to this gentleman. What's your name? Yeah, I showed him immediately immediately like Me one first of all me saying exactly no idea what this man is talking about. If you play, you have to pay to play. Yeah. What does that fucking mean, bro? You were looking at your iPhone going down a suburban street and you hit a car. And he was also making it very aware to me.

He was like, I have money. I'm a doctor. I built this house. I live in Park City, Utah. He was making it, he was like, please. But also, I don't think he wants to go through insurance because he was like making it, he was like, please like, but also I don't think he wants to go through insurance because he was like, whenever you take your car to the shop, just call me or have them call me

and I'll pay for everything. Bitch, I wish he hit my fucking car. And it fucking exploded. No, I'm not happy he hit my car. I don't own that car. That's not my car. I'm paying for that car. Like's not my car. I'm paying for that car Like of course the one time I'm like cuz my last car yeah, I'll flex on you bitches I was paying to own that Ford

Eat it up. Yeah, and now my parents have it and they've already wrecked it three times So imagine how I can also your eyes are the other car that you bought Oh, yeah, sitting in a lot Ford lot. It was a black car and it turned green. No, it was a white car and it turned green. They called Inya's sister and was like, oh yeah, this car, it used to be white, but it's green now. How does a car turn fucking green?

Bro, because my family doesn't respect me. I met someone with veneer breath. I really did. And you know who it is. What is that? Is that just stink? Oh my God. Wait, so much has happened in my life.

I don't know if I know who it is. So much has happened in my life. This one I specifically can't talk about for a plethora of reasons. Veneer breath. Oh, ew, ew, ew, and you were in that mouth. No, I was not. Don't even say that about me.

I mean, there's no evidence to back that you weren't. Don't say that shit about me. I'll let my imagination tell. Like the thing is, if you're not gonna be a fucking kiss and tell, well, why the fuck did you tell me anything? Because now my imagination is running wild and I think you and whoever the if you're not gonna be a fucking kiss and tell, well, why the fuck did you tell me anything? Because now my imagination is running wild and I think you and whoever the fuck you're talking about

did the nastiest shit I could think of. Because if I think about sex, I'm like, oh, me and my girls get pervy, so. No, I'll tell y'all one tidbit of the story. Okay, pervy, consensually pervy, come on guys. Should I tell them the one detail out front of the gym or no? If it's not the bottle, it's the No, if it's not the bottle, it's the phone if it's not the bottle. It's the phone. There's one moment that I'm like debating telling

Because this happened before a break actually Whatever we're cutting all of that. Um, well I was lucky enough to go to Italy with my friend rain and It was so fun. But one of my, like, actually the day- Italy more like literally, more like literally. Wait, why am I literally in Italy right now? Literally. Why am I literally in Italy? Literally.

But my most memorable moment from that trip, there were so many things that were really funny, but I was sitting outside by the pool and I didn't have a lighter and I wanted to smoke. So I went up to this guy who worked at the hotel. I think he was a bellboy. He was it was one of those hotels where, like, everyone's dressed like it's a fucking Wes Anderson movie and he was a bellboy ass. Fuck. But I went up to him.

I was like, oh, do you have a lighter? And he was like, oh, yes, I have a lighter. Like, how are the fuck you do in Italian accent? I really can't. Like, I literally can't. Like, how do you do it? Like, yes, I have a light. Hello, I have a lighter. That's better than what I did.

Oh, hello, I have a lighter. Dude, you know, is really good at it is fucking rain because me and her on one of the days We went to this like island where they sell glass and a glass company sent a boat Y'all had a blast while we were in Italy While we were in Italy we went to this event and Added it was like a bunch of mutual friends and me and Rain had gone off and like smoked. And then when we came back, I said this, I don't think I repeated this to you, but to

like a bunch of random guys about me and Rain, I go, yeah, well, we just had a party of our own. So I don't even go fuck about this party anymore. And with the way like I just present myself or maybe I just like think everyone thinks I'm gay because I'm scared of the fact that I am gay Whatever. Wait, we have to unpack that. No, so then Everyone was like We just went had a party of our own I literally just had the best time of my life I could go home now

I'm so sleepy. Like I said something it literally made it sound like we went and did a bunch of coke and had sex. But that is not the thing I was going to say. Essentially this guy, I'm going to insert a picture, but we're going to have to blur the fuck out of it. This bell boy was like, oh yeah, I have I have a lighter. Also, we had to go back and forth because I said matches and I was like for smoking like fire. And like I was like doing the whole sign thing because like neither of us knew what the fuck we were talking about.

Also, every time I spoke Spanish, he just like confused and escalated the issue. So I wasn't doing that. And he's like, oh, okay, lighter, lighter. And he goes like this, mind you he's carrying a huge water jug because he's going somewhere. And I'm like, oh my God, this is the worst thing ever.

Cause I thought he'd be like, yeah, I'll be back with matches. Not like, try to like tend to me in the moment. And he grabs this lighter. Did I show you the one he sent me or gave me? Bruh. I think he just like had one of those moments where he's like, oh yeah, I have a lighter. I can literally feel it in my tight ass fucking pants right now. And he didn't think about the lighter that was in there and he pulled it out and it was this one. Oh my God. He pulled it out and like he like he had this water drug. So he's like, oh, yeah.

And he's like holding it and going like this. Mind you, he's like around my age, like maybe like 24. So he's like this. He's like, oh, yeah. And like patting around for and I'm just standing and like kind of trying not to look. So I'm like, dude, just it was like a lot. It's a key. And he goes to give it to me it to me he goes oh I know you don't have to use this one like he like literally like pulled it back was like oh no and like started hiding it and he's like I'm so sorry and I was like what and I like saw

it and I started cracking up I was like dude no that is perfect thank you and I like exactly and then he was like oh and like like had the bottle and was like going to walk away. He's like, I'm so sorry. I'll like, was basically just like, I'll come back with matches. I was like, it's fine. I can use this. This is perfect.

And he felt so embarrassed. And he, I was at that hotel for three nights. He did not look at me once. Like he was so embarrassed. If only he knew how like chic that was. Yeah, that was like a moment. But like honestly, good. Because a straight man should feel like

he's actually attacking you. Yeah, like that's very pervy of a straight man. Yeah, so it's disgusting and I'm actually gonna call and I'm gonna have him fucking fight. Yeah, get his ass fired. No, I thought we were gonna key after that. He brought me matches after and when I gave him back, I was like, it was perfect, thank you so much.

He was like. And like ran away. Yeah, that is hilarious. Oh really, because it doesn't seem like it is. No, that was so funny and yeah. Yeah, it was a really long story where it was like you kinda had to be there. Yeah, that was hilarious.

What? Oh, cool, cool, cool. I'm just kidding, that was actually awesome. I did not know the lighter looked like that. I know, also in that picture, I'm covering her whole vages out. So I think that's why it's not just like a girl with boobs. It is a completely butt naked woman on both sides.

And I wish, I've been saying this, I think I'm gonna buy the Ray-Ban Meta glasses and just start filming everything cuz my interactive. They're all imagine. I got the cruising on video No, not in like a pervy way so y'all could see it No, I would watch it back later Well I would watch it back later. No, please no. No. Well, last night we were talking in bed and you sleep in my bed almost every night now. I know it's a problem. No, I love it.

We got a new big bed and it's amazing. Wait, did I know? Do they not know about that? I think you got it after. Yeah, I got a giant, I got a king size bed y'all. It's major. And it's the best investment he's ever made because literally I just can't stop sleeping in it.

I just can't stop sleeping. But you're not gonna be able to for long, I'll tell you that much right now. That bed has been christened. I know, which actually grosses me out but I've never had to sit on your bed and think about if you've done nasty stuff on it and then I was like, ew.

Josiah. And I think he lied to me. I asked him if he washed his sheets. I know too well that he's not. I swear to God, I swear to God I washed my sheets. And then right after I washed my sheets, Azul got eye boogers all over them and stained them. Oh my God.

Cry me a river. Okay, we were laying in bed last night talking and I realized I can look at a person and based off of like the distance between their eyes or the distance between their nose and their mouth or the distance between their ears, like bone structure, bone density, I can tell how much of a freak nasty they are

based off of just the structure. Not more on their personality? No, just strictly off of the way they look. I can read them to Phil. Oh, also Safiya, that YouTuber. What's her name? Safiya? Yeah, she and her husband hate each other. I actually don't believe that.

I don't believe that. The girl from Buzzfeed, I don't believe that. I think they're actually really normal. I think they are shockingly so normal because to me. No, they're not living like it's like a Mr. Beast thing, except I would never compare them to Mr. Beast. They're like actual like chill people. No, they're lit as fuck.

Don't get me. Oh, no, but they hate each other. I don't think they behind behind closed doors. There's a little. Oh, no. Yeah, I think I I think she doesn't play about that damn job. I know that's that's why I'm such a D like on defense of her, because one thing about me is I think to date me is essentially like going to boot camp. It's like, yeah, you're going to meet the best people ever and genuinely like love the Colonel, but the Colonel is evil.

And like the Colonel has a lot of issues that used to be in war. The Colonel doesn't play about her job and I'm the Colonel. So I think she's kind of like that. It's like, yeah, like sometimes the Colonel wakes up and you don't have to tuck your sheets into your bed as tight because she's just gonna be like, yeah, that's a good made bed. And then other times she's gonna see a letter picking

from under your pillow and read it to the whole courtyard or wherever they fucking sleep. I mean, they make them all sleep in like, oh, you lost me. Oh, I was getting I was writing a story. I was actually all your senses. Yeah, literally. We were doing imagination exercises. I've been trying to do that so I can like expand my mind and really like

I've been trying to world build. I'm building a world of my own. You're fucking tweaking out. But like, for example, Josiah, not a freak nasty base up of unstructure in build I'm building a world of my own. You're fucking tweaking out but like for example Josiah not a freak nasty based off of bone structure. Inya let me see. I'm not I don't think I have a freak nasty bone structure. You have freak nasty bone structure. Me I'm not a freak nasty I don't have a freak nasty bone structure. Yeah girl we saw the video. You might be wrong. Drew Phillips. Wow. You have to pay to play and I'm here with Drew Phillips. Wow. Wow. You have to pay to play and I'm here with Drew Phillips.

I was so scared when he flipped it up to me. I was like, oh my God, like, but I'm so glad he sent it to me. I almost asked him and he was like, do you want me to send this to you? And I was like, yes, please, please, please. Like, you know what you're watching? Chapel Rome, not a freak. Who the fuck is Coco? Who the fuck is Coco?

Yeah, who the fuck is Coco? We need to bring her on the podcast. I really need to know what her life transpired to be posted. We need to make like the Marvel universe of people like that. It's that girl. It's the guy who kicked the abortion,

like Turkish, Juan del Dingle, Turkish, Juan del Dingle. I don't know who that is. I don't know what that is. Yeah, you do. The group leader. They were singing that Kanye West song. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Nina, Nina fell off quick. Oh, that bitch is in the gutter. You guys. Bitch, you know who else? Oh yeah, no, she is like, ooh. Like she should have been, if Balenciaga really wanted to hard launch their esoteric weird comeback, they should have put her on that one too. Her sitting next to Devin, that's what I want.

I want Nina and Devin in a camping. I want to see Nina and Devin interact, period. They would have a key though. I think, I kind of think Devon is the kind of person that like you could put her in a room with anybody and she will walk out and they will have each other's numbers, like that woman just has a charm to her that. She's perfect.

Down to the last minute fucking detail. She would survive the Colonel. But you know who else fell the fuck off? You know who else fell off? Greta Thunberg. That bitch is in the gutters, bitch. Like, sorry, bitch. Like, literally fell off.

Why didn't LaWewe use her? Like what? Also LaWewe, LaWewe. Like what? Don't even get me started. I have beef with LaWewe. They stole from my girl Ali Spagnola. They put it on the runway.

Ali Spag, we're spaggots We're all fucking spaggots. She did it first with the chia seed Tuxedo then like four months later LaVe put it on the runway The chia seed tuxedo when she went to the wine tasting Girl I'm a spaggot through and through like don't even don't even try it When she went to the wine tasting on her jet and took the bus back. Mm-hmm. Give me your hand.

I love you. And you're so special to me. I love you too. And you're gorgeous. Oh my God, thank you. You look really good today too. Josiah, you're there. I love Josiah.

We haven't been hanging, it's actually annoying. Josiah moved closer to us and he doesn't come over anymore and that's exactly what we thought was gonna happen. We predicted it. We literally were like, it's predictive programming. It's predictive programming. And now he's like, oh, he's trying to sign that I've been gone and I've been working.

I've been working for the fucking family. Yeah, and he's been putting food on the- I've been working for the fucking family. Putting food on the table, paying your rent. We pay Josiahiah's rent Josiah doesn't pay rent we said I get no money he's saying I get no money well you get no money no bitches no swag no swag no bitches no swag that's in ya I know also you're signing like this it works actually um but what was I saying oh yeah Greta Thunberg fell off bitches in the gutter her legacy being Lisbon and

Lisbon lesbian and I shouldn't be up here is the thing is so like so perfectly what's wrong with everything in this world because like she literally was that girl she was like fighting for climate change. The thing, her saying she shouldn't be up here up there like you're right you should be in school and your parents kind of suck for not letting you just go to school and be fucking normal. I shouldn't be up here. Like go to school be normal and then you can like uh but poor girl she was fighting for a cause that she felt so strong for. But like- I think she's still fighting for it. But in like 20 years, she'll probably be president.

Fighting where? Cause I don't see her. Wait, can she be president? Can she? I think you have to be like a certain age and you have to be born in the U.S. to be the president. She just didn't want to go to school. That's why she did all that.

Yeah, she was skipping class. Just, I said she didn't want to be in school. She's, she did all that. Like me faking sick to get out of class, me faking to be a climate change activist to skip class. But that's low key a method. Me claiming to be a martyr for a cause after finding out about what's her name.

The one girl. KC Anthony. No, the one girl who she learned how to read and it was illegal. And she actually, she never, I guess she kind of fell off. Who was it? Malala. Malala.

See, actually no, Malala Loki never fell off. Like Malala is always that girl, Greta kind of fell off. Malala. Malala. See actually you know Malala Loki never fell off like Malala is always that girl Greta you fell off because seriously what the fuck are you talking about like we like don't fall like what? No I support everything don't get me wrong. No I do but like you know what I mean like she literally was in school she learned about Malala she was like wait there's a method to the madness I really fuck with sustainability let me just see if this will get me out of class and it works skipping class by net spend I'm 27 years old and I love that no and you're doing the right thing it's actually very smart where you're

doing no actually what you're doing here is actually really smart what you you're doing right now is really smart. Did you have roaches growing up? Yes. Oh my god, we had fucking roaches that would fly around and like attack and shit like no they would literally come at water bugs, water bugs. They would attack the fuck out of us and I didn't really, I wasn't scared of them until I saw my mom petrified. If you bring a roach around my mom, she will literally like cut off an arm to get away. Well. Did you have roaches?

Yeah, but we had like the baby ones that like, I saw a TikTok recently that was like, the tiny roaches are a sign that like the nest is huge and it's like a huge infestation. Growing up in our first house, we had roaches and like there is a certain kind of terror you carry after having an infestation of roaches that never goes away. Because I feel like were the roaches getting in your house or were the roaches there to stay? They were there. We had roaches and mice.

Oh yeah, we had hellerats. Like I know the smell of a dead rat, a dead rat and a cracker. A dead rat and a cracker. Like to me it is. That's all. I don't know what I'm referencing. No, the girl.

The girl who gets hit in the throat? No, she's walking by the pile of dr peppers and her friend Oh a fake rat on it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I have a black toilet and I don't know who thought that was okay Because I haven't seen like anything that's come out of my body and now when I go to a toilet That's normal and like not a black hole of despair Um, and I go to look in because you're supposed to be looking in the toilet to see if you're healthy.

It's literally terrifying. I bet we could ask the plumber today if we can change it. I think I need to because it's very, very, very decentering. It's destabilizing. Yeah, to wake up in the morning and poop. I don't know my health because I haven't seen my poop in literally two months. Yeah, you can't see anything in it. I don't know the color of my pee. I don't know when I start my period like I just have to guess

Let's have that conversation. Inya took a piss in my toilet like three nights ago. It was it was the Darkest urine I have ever seen. It stank like fucking shit. It stank like bacterial vaginosa. Yeah fishy fishy Oh my god, that's not true. That's not true. Fishey, fishey. We actually don't need to start the rumor that I'm like one of those dirty nasty girls because I take care of myself.

Like I like literally like, there's maintenance. There's maintenance, there's weekly maintenance. And sometimes, you know what? I'm in a bad place and it's not getting the work it needs. Woo! and sometimes you know what I'm in a bad place and it's not getting the work it needs. But the bridge is back down, the people are re-entering the city, it is bustling, it is alive, my body is back. No, and it takes care of herself, but she just had one day where that urine was black. No, it's bad. I haven't been drinking as much water because all of my...

That's not my company. Those fucking binks. That's not of my, that's not my company. Those fucking binks, that's not my company. That's not my company, that's not my bottle. Don't yell at us about the fucking prices. That's not my bottle. They played their cards right, that's not my bottle. They used me, they used me, and I'm gonna come after them.

Not actually, because I don't give a fuck, but like that's not my bottle. They just sent me the bottle for free against my will, against my will. They found my address and they for free against my will, against my will. They found my address and they sent me things. And I'm so happy about it. But that is the only way I drink water is if I have one of those big stupid bottles in my hand.

And I've been traveling and working and moving around a bunch. So all of my bottles have collected in my car. And last night I was brave and I took all of them out because seeing the color of my pee, I was like, guys, I'm going through it. Actually, no no I'm coming out of going through it because I was you're coming out she had no idea that song would be huge with gay people

or she did and she had no idea it would be huge with straight people no I think uh she had that song written she had that song given to her right she had that song written. She had that song given to her, right? She wrote the song. Have y'all ever accidentally seen my balls and not said anything? No, because I would scream. I would be fucking disgusted. Really? No. Okay, just needed to know that. I have a dear friend of mine who is starting an underwear business and I've been helping her kind of get her groundings and Immediately when we start talking about website building I thought of Shopify because Shopify makes navigating all the information that you are about to be Thrown at or I guess thrown at you into one place where it's super easy to navigate

You can literally be home of that number one check out on the planet and not so secret secret with ShopPay that boost conversions up to 50%. Love ShopPay. Shop, Shopify? More like a shop, I'm a guy. Okay. But seriously, any website I've ever built, I use Shopify.

It gets the job done. It's super easy, super simple to navigate and really just makes running your business so much simpler and also assists in growing your business. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Aloe Yoga uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash intercom, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash intercom to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash intercom. Oh, but basically I was thinking about how I've seen yours and I've seen your bejeanie. Yeah, you've seen me. Yes, they fell out of your boxers. Morning. Oh, you've seen my prickly pear because I don't give a fuck when you see me naked.

And yes, and yes, got a furball. I coughed up a lot of fucking I felt like a cat. Inyaz got a fur ball. I coughed up a lot of fucking, I felt like a cat. Years ago. Yes. Oh, whoa. Ew. Well, Catching Fire Hunger Games and Chipmunks, Chiprectunks, Chipwrecked were filmed on the same beach.

Like that being, is there any other slides or is it just that scene? Just that scene. That's like, I wish it was more. Like why didn't they all film in the same jungle? Cause what happened in Chipwrecked? I have no idea. I don't remember that movie at all.

I really want to rewatch Shrek 2, which sounds like the most like Shrek ass thing ever but Shrek 2 was the best movie and it was the gayest Shrek movie and it was so good musically and Musically and I saw screenshots of like the fake rodeo they made and now after living in LA this long I'm like damn I really need to see this because the best part about living in LA is now a bunch of movies. I rewatch I'm like Because the best part about living in LA is now a bunch of movies I rewatch. I'm like, oh Yeah, I literally like when I first moved here was like I've literally been here in Grand Theft Auto Y'all better not play GTA in front of me because I already can't shut up about the fact that I'm from Miami

It's actually a lot smaller in the game than it is in real life. It's huge, you wouldn't believe it. And then you get there in person, it's not that much bigger. Something we don't talk about enough, and I wish Kai was here to get berated by us, because we don't talk about this moment enough, and I saw it the other day. Is it Bruno?

San, whoa. Was that not good? No one caught that, Like, okay, I guess it was bad. We don't talk about Bruno. Yeah. Girl, that month did damage. We'll get back though. That was good. You guys are sleeping. Oh, but when people are commenting Bruno in the comments, then y'all are gonna feel left out. But something we don't talk about enough is sand literally falling out of Kai's shoe.

Like he lifted his foot up and like a pound of sand dusted out and fell on the floor of our kitchen. Yeah, like it literally, it was like Thanos snap, like, but with his toes. It really was also because it was was that his toes it did feel like in a movie when someone starts disintegrating because it always starts from there Yeah, it just like see what's he even at the beach? Why and why were those your shoes at the beach? Why where did all of that know we really need to have a conversation about this with him the next episode? And he's gonna listen to this and he's gonna try to defend himself

But don't even don't even listen to this and try to defend his honor don't even try to text me about it because we're gonna talk about this next week um mickey 17 worst movie i've ever seen in my life have you seen it yes oh i didn't know you saw it already you see you see everything without me you fucking hate me worst fucking movie i have ever seen It is a satire that happened five years too late and the dick riding I have seen for it is, it makes me feel dumb and stupid in my head. Dumb. I love him. I love the host.

That was like one of my first favorite movies ever. I remember watching it over and over and over again. So I understand like he has an obsession with like creatures, but like, how do you go from parasite to that? Like, girl, like. I want to watch it, but like I sometimes I hate that for creatives because when somebody makes something that good, I'm like, it's impossible. No matter what you do next, people aren't going to be happy.

And I went into it expecting not the best movie ever, but not to be satisfied. Yeah, like I expected not. I did not expect Parasite by any means. I expected like a super Americanized version of like whatever, a creature film. But like because I saw like videos about it. But like, damn, I did. I did not resonate with me at all. Like there were points in the movie where I was like, oh, I might actually get up.

Well, because does every movie need to be about like some gay fucking like a person with an iPhone yes wait what because you said it just like didn't like maybe you just didn't feel like you were being shown in it so I'm just saying like if is that what it's gonna take what it's gonna take. I'm not fucking gay! Ew, do the hell that you're doing. I think. Help!

It sounds like you. Help! Help me! Wow, that was just... It does sound like you. Help! Help me! No, show the video

Pull up the evidence y'all I got a hotel for two days because I was Expecting a crash out. I thought I was gonna like literally be sad and I was like I don't want to taint the energy of the new house with sadness He fully did crash out and he crashed out over not getting a text back and he literally was the craziest I've ever seen him act. Yeah. And he was tweaking out and he couldn't hear any positive reinforcement. So like literally the three of us were just sitting and we were like watching him lose his mind and it was amazing. But that's good. That means I just have to get a really nice camera. So like for your big crash out, oh, we're making taxi driver to literally also you have the video on your phone

And you're not gonna see it bitch Yeah, I got a hotel room for two days to crash out because I was like Dark darkness darkness darkness. I didn't want to take the energy of my new home and I did exactly that and then Mind you I get to this hotel room and I'm alone and I go directly to the hallway closet, shut it behind me and sit on the floor of it for an hour just like in the darkness. Not crying, not being sad, just like sitting in the darkness. It's a nice hotel room too.

I should have explored a little bit. I should have gone by the pool. No, that was nice. I think the way you little bit. Should have gone by the pool. No, that was nice. I think the way you did it was perfect. Sitting in the closet. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck, I set myself up every fucking time, bro.

I know. I just like screamed my voice away, by the way. No, you've been losing your voice over the past three days. Should I like scream really loud and completely lose it? Would you lose it? I think, yeah, I think so. And I think like people with raspy voices are so sexy. Like imagine like meeting all the people in New York

and I'm like, hey. That would be kind of cute. Like. Yeah, Mickey 17, bunk as fuck. We, I saw Barbie's movie. I have to see it. It is so fucking good. And like, I know I've only heard people talk about how good it is.

It is the most like, wholesome like feel good movie like cry at the end like it was so good and Barbie's performance was legitimately like one of my favorite performances I've seen I need to see it in the last six months like she went fucking ape shit and like not that I didn't know she had that in her but like to a certain degree I was like I was genuinely shocked I was like oh she's acting her fucking boots off like dude I'm so excited for like all Bob Trevino cuts hair but my media of the week it next time somebody pisses you off just set them up to give you head like the exact day you stop bleeding like on that day that you know if you did a few jumping jacks you would like launch out like the last membranes just make sure

someone gives you head right in that like radioactive state of disaster. And that to me would be the best revenge. Cause what you're gonna be like, the worst case scenarios that person walks away and they're like, dude, her pussy tasted like fucking ass. I'm like, yeah, I was on my period. Like what?

Her pussy tastes like butt. Her pussy tastes like a butt hole. Well, they are very close. That's so gross. OK, the last thing I'll say is going to hurt Drew's feelings. Wow. But OK, actually not really, because I don't feel this way about yours. But you know those wine bottles with the like the ones you have in your room with that flip cap, those at a restaurant make me feel so fucking nasty

for some reason. Like I just feel like a bottle shaped like that does not get cleaned the amount it should be cleaned. And to the extent it should be cleaned for everyone's nasty hands going in there. And I just think about like, when someone has their earrings in for too long and it cakes up and gets fucking disgusting,

which is the nastiest guy trait ever. And I'm so fucking tired of men taking like a feminine trace and doing it and you're doing it fucking nasty. You're getting a manicure of a color too dark, but you can't see that there's dirt under your fucking nails because you're a fucking animal and you're not somebody who's scrubbing your fucking nails before you touch people, nasty fucking monster.

And that's how I feel about men with earrings because they always get their ears pierced and they eat it and then they never take it out. And it smells like fucking ass crack of Notre Dame. It's so fucking nasty. But that is what I imagine for the wine bottle like things at restaurants is like, it was just all that fucking gunk from now

the motherfuckers who go to restaurants and they don't wash their hands and they touch everything and everything is fucking nasty. And I hate those. And I hate, I know it's sustainability. It is the ugliest fucking thing ever. Stop cutting glass bottles in half and making them cups because it's not a bottle cut in half. And I hate those cups and like the bottom of wine glasses is so the bull ugly ugly the nipple Like if I wanted to suck on a nipple, I'd get on my come to me and make it happen. She'd come to me And if I wanted to suck a nipple, I'd be sucking hers

And well, that's so gross to think about Me suck guys my boobs deflated and I just have skin sacks and when I bend over it literally like I look like the woman from Barberry. You know those like punching bags where you go boom boom boom. Yeah that's what I'm getting. That's what I do to. And I'm not going to do anything about it honestly like for a long time I was like I'm gonna get my boobs on I'm gonna get my boobs on honestly there's something like crazy about

that for what? Literally for what? Because I'm the kind of person who I'm so fucking in my head that I, everybody I met, I'd be like, I got my boobs done. And then like, it would be like a useless conversation because I'm just like weirdly insecure. And I'd be like, did you tell I did something to my boobs? Cause I did something to my boobs. You would make it interesting

cause you're very interesting. Thanks, but I don't want to cause it's like too much work. Also, I genuinely think if somebody cut me open and I woke to that I would kill myself Well, that's what I'm saying the drainage pipes afterwards like I don't think you could handle that's fucking disgusting I don't I don't mean it's disgusting like girl if you get your shit done like kudos like I just can't because something's wrong With me and every day Wait my waking up my whole existence feels like the like I'm paralyzed I'm paralyzed I'm paralyzed I'm paralyzed

existence feels like the like I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed. I was just paralyzed. Every day the reason I think I smoke so much is because last year I became so just like disconnected. And I think about how often I called myself stupid. It was fully just because I know too much and I don't want to talk. I literally don't want to talk about anything. And every day my existence has felt like at least one moment I wake up and I come to and I'm like, apparently, apparently, I'm flushing bones, I'm flushing bones, I'm flushing bones, I'm flushing bones. That is what my existence feels like.

But yeah, I really hate those restaurant nasty bottles. They're so fucking nasty. I also hate like a restaurant dispenser, the plastic ones that like have the spring that they really don't work. And you know that whoever touched it last because you're about to do the same fucking thing is dig their hands in there. And I just think about how dirty so I never use the top napkins because also those top napkins are rubbing against all the plastic. So like if I use napkins from something like that, I'll make sure to use the center of the napkins from the ones laid under it because the side ones have already ripped across and wiped down this fucking plastic contraption.

You know what I hate is the soap dispensers that you have to go. You have to touch. Yeah, you hit them. You or you hit it with your palm and it squirts it out. Those because every once in a while my fingers will graze like the mechanism underneath and it's like dried cake up like soap that's been there for months if not years it's never been cleaned and it'll flake into the palm of my hand.

I hate that. I hate that. Also, I hate wet countertops more than anything in the world. Like literally a wet sink will make me lose my fucking mind. Like oh, because all I can think, ugh. Is the germs residing in the pool. Yeah, like, ugh. The pools, the body of the water,

the body, the body's a water-hold bacteria, the body's water-hold bacteria, the body's water-hold bacteria. The brain, the body keeps the score. You ever think about that? Think about that. But yeah, I, with all my time to myself and my brain, I have thought a lot about all the things

that I thought were normal and they're not because I don't think anybody should feel that way about wine bottles, but I'm sure someone out there feels that like- I really get it. Drusya! Corner! Wait, that a... Inya might be into bestiality fucking with a goat like me.

Okay. Um, Inya's coochie tastes like laptops. Sounds good to me BPD BPD this BPD that I want to be putting this P on his D okay that was from gray star they asked me to call them gray star enterprises that's what that sounds like like for what you're looking up first is like the face of seriousness you have the face this is the face of seriousness someone emailed me so my best friend and I went to Oaklawn in Dallas on Friday the 20th around 1 a.m. we realized her

phone was gone we were so fixated on the missing phone, not even because it was an iPhone 16, but because we had waited over a month for our emergency intercom cases that were back ordered. We finally got them. I have the Inu one, she had the Drew one, and her phone went missing. All we could think about, the phone case, is gone. iPhone 16, replaceable, the case, devastated. Anyways, we didn't end up finding her phone. We didn't end up finding her phone

and by the next morning we realized her wallet was gone too. She literally got pickpocketed in a gayborhood. Well, we should send. We should send her a case. Yeah, we should. I'm literally such a good person, what the fuck, like what? I hear stories like that and genuinely I think send her case. No, that is crazy.

Also, how did you not notice your what being so caught up about the case that you don't realize your whole fucking wall is missing. Also, I think like you are the type of person if your phone went missing, you would destroy the night. I think if my phone went missing, the night could go on. And honestly, the night might get better. I would not destroy the night. I really, if I was drunk, I would not destroy the night. Oh, if you were drunk, but you're never drunk anymore.

So you would destroy the night. Straight pubic hair scares me so bad. That is not a bush. That is a weeping willow. Right, right. I'm going to pull your pants down. I just read one that just like physically like made me cringe. Oh my God, imagine it was yours that made him cringe. Oh yeah. If we weren't Brock Hampton's, If we weren't Brockhampton stands together,

please don't say we go way back. Me when I was the Colonel of Brockhampton. I'ma fly a lucky follower out to my house to fuck them. Okay. I'ma fly a lucky follower out to my house to tell them my theories. Would you break up with your boyfriend if you found out he could do the splits? Yes.

UPS, United Penis Services. Dropping dick off daily. Okay, enough. I want to wax pussy for a living, but I'm scared of... Fuck. Oh wait, I want to wax pussy for a living, but I'm scared of, fuck. Oh wait, I wanna wax pussy for a living, but I'm scared I'm gonna eat one and get fired. That's literally me. Okay, well, my media or?

Yeah, media. Sorry, y'all, those PsyOps suck. No, that was awesome. I can't think of anything. Relationships by Heim, love that song. Yeah, I was about to say that Heim song. That song is fucking awesome. Um, no. No.

Immediately no. Okay, wait, actually, I'll just go through. The first six songs. I Touch Roses by book of love We're almost there Michael Jackson touch. Somebody loves me sister sledge Four five four and borderline by Madonna and borderline personality disorder by Madonna I really have only been listening to Salem like only. That's a

really scary vibe. I know I know it's it's like normally when I listen to it like it feels like I can't say that the reason why I listen to it but there's there's the normally when I'm listening to Salem there's a reason but I don't have that reason this time and I'm listening to Salem, there's a reason, but I don't have that reason this time and I'm listening to it just for fun and I kind of love it. Oh, that is awesome. Was it a sad reason? No, like no reason at all really.

I just like it. Asia by Salem. I'm a bit confused. Red Lights by Salem. I really like Not Much of a Life. It's not much of a life we're leading. Oh yeah. Living.

Is that Lana? Oh. Or am I literally? No, it's Salem. Oh, what? No, they sampled Rihanna. Oh, Terry Danes. I like this song, Thrown Around by James Blake.

Hell of a Ride by Nourished by Time, and then Gay Guy by DJ Assault. And just know, there was a major event that happened in LA that we can't talk about because Kai decided to fucking ditch us today. But we'll talk about it next week. We'll go into it. But just know I'm a star, I'm talented.

People wanna sit and look at me in my fucking face and tell me I can't sing. When I can get on stage in front of 1,600 people and flawlessly flawlessly Be me, be me, I'm on my Chris Breezy, Breezy Flawlessly sing kitty cat and countdown I know, Josiah's had you beat since he was eight. Since he was on America's Got Talent. Wait, I just put something together that I can't say until after the podcast

and you're gonna die laughing. Yeah. But. Oh! Yeah. But okay, thank you guys so much for tuning in. We'll never leave you again. That is a lie, we will one day.

We will one day soon probably. One day probably vanish and there may never be us ever again. But there are, fuck me. Fuck. That was disgusting. Oh my God, Drew. We may leave one day very soon. And I'm soft launching the demise of the podcast but I love you. That's not true.

That's not true. Who would you believe? Me or Drew? I bet. I bet. Who does it better? Me or Drew? Me or Drew?

I bet. Alright, peace and love. Bye guys. Alright, peace and love, bye guys! Thanks for watching!