Emergency Intercom - this episode sucks

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

https://www.patreon.com/emergencyintercom join the Patreon for bonus episodes, q&a/topic submissions, livestreams, pay for ky's lobotomy we went to big sur and it was so beautiful it momentarily distracted us from the relentless marching of time and we are going to start hitting each other Shopify Upgrade your business today and get a $1-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/intercom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Calling all sellers, Salesforce is hiring account executives to join us on the cutting edge of technology. Here, innovation isn't a buzzword. It's a way of life. You'll be solving customer challenges faster with agents, winning with purpose, and showing the world what AI was meant to be. Let's create the agent-first future together. Head to salesforce.com slash careers to learn more. Welcome to Emergency Intercom. Now introducing Drew the Great. I'm happy to be here.

And now introducing Enya the Monster. Why am I the monster? Now let's have a good show. SNL be like... Hey, guys. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. It's nighttime. We don't do this at night very often.

And when we do, let's just say things get a little freaky. It's a little comfortable in here, you know? It's like... Yeah. So true. I love you. freaking it's a little comfortable in here you know it's like it's like um yeah so true i love you i love you i want to start this episode out i want to start this episode out by saying if it wasn't for beyonce we would have nothing and i just want to make it very clear that everything we do is for Beyonce I don't stand with this and she changed our lives and honestly if we take anything away from her um she can just have my spot oh my god yeah. Yeah, I mean, it was a problem one time,

or not one time, there was talks of my remix being nominated for, it was gonna get album of the year, even though it was just a single. It was just a single. And I found out through some higher ups that that was not going to satisfy. Yeah, Beyonce was not fucking happy with that.

It actually is fucked up. She hasn't got an album of the year. I'm not kidding. It's toxic. Like I know she has a lot of Grammys, but is fucked up she hasn't got an album of the year i'm not kidding it's like i know she has a lot of grammys but come on how does she not have album of the year but i think the grammys are a scam but also when my faves win i'm like yeah i snub this shit's bullshit it means nothing like the dichotomy of what the grammy institution is is disgusting it's repulsive but when my girls win and I see that picture, I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy like I won. I'm happy.

Okay, guys. We did the big thing. We went to Big Sur again. Oh, my God. So, like, the tea is, is Enya surprised me with a trip to Iceland. But it just wasn't the right time. We had work. We just had things to do.

It was a little chilly. It was cold and snowy and wet. Also, I fucked up so bad. It's like the dream location for you, but also me, but specifically for Drew. And I was like, I'm going to be so kind. I'm going to just book the tickets. Like, fuck it.

I'm just going to do it. And then the more I looked into it, it was like, it is the most dangerous and awful time to go to Iceland at the end of October do not go literally the exact dates I had booked it was like this is the worst time you can't really go anywhere it's snowing it's raining it's like sleeting it's awful it's like there's black ice everywhere you will probably crash and die so you'll just stay in your hotel the whole time and I was just like like, honestly, wait, we should. Yeah, should we do that? We should.

Just die. Yeah, so we were going to go to Iceland. It was going to be a movie. It was going to be a vibe. We were going to record a couple episodes out there. But it just wasn't the time. It was too chilly vibes. So instead.

It was too chilly vibes instead we decided to just take a weekend up in big sir and and it was before we get into how hellish it was the entire trip as a whole was literally one of the greatest vacations i've ever been on in my entire life like once we were in it it was iconic like i got some pictures of myself and india and josiah that like literally people like travel across the world and wait hundreds and hundreds of years that got his first like real nice camera and he's like yeah i took that well no like you're about you're like one step away from adding the like putting the camera uh shot on 35 no putting the camera emoji and other people's comments like tag me no you have to admit like the pictures i got were pretty goaded they ate down um but the drive up there i'm not kidding it made me want to pull

my intestines out of my fucking ass and hang myself with my small intestine and just like oh my god it was horrible at least it would it would hold you up because it's so full of poop exactly yeah i'm very constipated right now it It is not a movie. Well, I was like, let's leave earlier in the day so we can have a night there to chill and vibe out. Well, that didn't work out. And so we left at like 9 p.m. And it's a six hour drive up. We should have just fucking flew. But it's a six hour drive up.

And the closer we got, the more we were we were like wait we're going like up and around like this is insane which that happened last time but it was right after the landslide on the pch and then this time i had used apple maps which i don't fuck with apple maps i love apple apple all the way and apple maps randomly started being like there's no roads like we can't give you any any directions up here and i was like okay that's funny like that's weird i'll just use google and then i started to use google and it was telling us we could go but then the apple thing really started getting in my freaking head and on the drive up i was like what is this something is seriously off like something's in the east i don't know it's like which is in the east a storm's a

it's like you're scaring me no people on tiktok use it for the fucking hurricanes oh oh oh it's like winds in the east the oh fuck what is the one that i like i i need that audio and then fuck what's the other one the stuck in fulsome prison like that one the johnny cash it's like just look up fulsome prison like when you look up johnny cash it's johnny cash hurricanes yeah this one yeah it's rolling around the bin like that fucking song it's canceled it's over also i decided decided what i'm starting to do is when i call someone and they don't answer my phone or i text someone and they don't answer my text back for days they're canceled i'm canceling them i've canceled like most of my friends they're all over what's crazy is i know there's at least three times

on the podcast where we've been like i hate when people just get mad when i don't text back like it's not that big of a fucking deal like who cares but it's different like it is really different because i am mentally ill and like very unstable constantly and honestly like recently i've been destabilized um very heavily you should just get some of my spinal fluid and stabilize yeah exactly the stabilizer we didn't even finish this first story oh shit sorry so no that was my bad um yeah actually it is your fault and when i think about it actually no it was your bad it was your bad because you started thinking about the witches a lot of bad things that happen from you a lot of bad things happen from you the witches are brewing their fucking potions yeah um but so we're driving we're like oh fuck like it's saying no roads but i'm just like let's

just like thug it out we'll like get up there and like whatever happens happens we'll cross the bridge when we get there well we pull up and i'm driving down this road it's the only road into Big Sur from the north. And it's like, road closed. Do not enter past 10 p.m. It's like 2 a.m. at this point. And then it's like- All these signs being like, 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. it's closed. And I keep driving because I'm like,

well, they can't just not let me go to my house. I live up there. Let me in. He was like, when we get there, tell them we live there. Yeah, well, because like, no, that's literally like the tea. that that is that is a thing and then we keep driving and we drive 26 miles like ignoring these signs or 26 minutes ignoring all these signs saying do not go and we pull up and the fucking road is closed from 10 p.m to 6 a.m mind you it's four i mean it's two it's like 2 30 and we were like no like

i bet they finished work early like maybe they'll just let us pass we go up there and we ask the guy first of all the guy looks high as fuck he was stoned out he was like so high and honestly god bless because if i was bored as fuck working on the side of pch i would get high too but he was like no you can't come and we contemplated staying at an inn but it just felt so stupid because we had paid for the airbnb that night and we were like what are we gonna do go pay for a room at a fucking inn and all squeeze into bed yeah and be there for like two fucking hours it's like monterey inn so it's gonna be two thousand dollars a night like and it's also was for four hours yeah and it was

literally like by the time we would have gone there would have been like 3 a.m 330 so we were like let's just sleep in the car like we just literally pulled off on the side of the pch and slept in the car for four hours and the only person that slept was in you. Like I got like an hour max of sleep. No one else fucking slept. And we woke up at, I woke up at 5.58 on the dot. And I was like, okay. Was it because like a bunch of cars started speeding by? Yeah, every single car in the world started driving by.

And I was just like, okay guys, it's time to go. So I just like in like a sleep deprived days, like put the car in drive and was like, all right guys it's time to go like so i just like in like a sleep day like sleep deprived days like put the car in drive and was like all right guys we're leaving and in you like woke up for half a second was like no we should just sleep here till like eight at least like we should just sleep in like and i was like in you we have a house with beds that we can go sleep in like we should go do that and she was like no no like let's sleep and i was just like no i'm literally going like you're not you'll sleep in the car there because we thought an hour of a drive left it was like two things one like it's don't talk to me before my sleep like don't talk to me for my coffee that's

me with my sleep don't talk to me when i'm sleeping like don't talk to inya unless she's had 15 hours of sleep and i just wanted legitimately did i like felt like i had entered rem sleep and then the it felt like i hate saying this but like it genuinely felt like the only parts of my brain that were awake was the part that wanted to sleep and then the part that still somehow like my ocd was activated i'm not kidding part of the reason i wanted to stay there is because i was convinced we were going to crash and die sleeping uh driving at that time and i was like genuinely convinced i was like i was like i feel it deep in my gut that we shouldn't be going but i always do that when i i think i have a gut feeling but really it's because i don't want to do something but then i tell myself it's a gut feeling because if i do the thing i'm gonna die but really i'm

just like lazy or sleepy or bored or like whatever but i do the same thing with like flights i'll be like oh this flight is gonna crash because i really don't want to leave bitch you don't want to leave because you're with your fucking family and we're hermits um yeah we're like so hermited well anyways i just drive the like rest of the way and it took us an hour it took us it took us an hour to get to big sir and then we went up and down the fucking road in big Sur for literally 45 minutes. Like, I'm not exaggerating. So, like, by the time we got to our Airbnb, we had been on the road for 14 hours.

And it's a six-hour drive. And it was fucking horrible because it was so foggy. It was gorgeous. Like, don't get me wrong. It was so magical. Like, the fucking, like, fog rolling in over. Oh, I love fog. It was, like, I got some of the best things in my life. It was so magical. Like the fucking like fog rolling in over. I love fog. It was like all cows.

Because the Airbnb we go to in Big Sur is this really secluded cabin. And the address for it isn't a real address. It's literally off the PCH. And you have to follow these weird directions. But we were coming from the other side of the mountain. And we couldn't figure it out. And also we were all running on like two hours of fucking sleep. Drew barely any sleep. Like we were all just so just so cash it took us so long to find it but god when we did

god blessed us no y'all like real real talk for a reason like we are so blessed like we're blessed to be like waking up another day to breathe and sing with god's creations like i'm talking to y'all by the way like when you wake up in the morning really start like focusing on how how blessed you are to be able to open your eyes like because not a lot of people get that this morning yeah my eyes and that's why they call it the present because it's a present yeah don't look me in my eyes yeah it's the present no literally i'm not kidding i would do anything to go back there like we were being in nature i was like this is this is where we're supposed to be like i i i am not a part of i'm not a part of your worldly wants exactly i am literally like i am not worldly this all of this i am starting to feel like it's too worldly it's giving is giving we need a creek like yeah i need

a creek in my back i don't need an iphone or a mirror i need a creek with big rocks to climb oh my god it was so fucking fun like it's gonna make me kill myself because i don't have it in my backyard oh but coming soon y'all like coming very soon and his death because we will never obtain that type of wealth. I know. That's all I was thinking. I was like, damn, to have something like this in America that you can pull up and be like, okay, like the land's really cheap. No one's out here. It's not developed to like,

I just want to live out here in the middle of nowhere and like whatever. And then slowly over time it develops and gets more like populated. And then by the end of like the decade, it's worth like $200,000. And then by the 20 years later, it's worth $2 million. Like it's worth like two hundred thousand dollars and then by the 20 years later it's worth two million dollars like it's so annoying wait that's not true though because josie bought the blue tiger club when it was oh yeah yeah the pink flamingo club the pink flamingo club pink flamingo club become a thing i just made that up pink and green spider club green needle green needle um i think i'm gonna buy a school bus that's kind of

like actually i'm not i'm not fucking playing like quit throwing things because it's actually getting scary it's like really actually wait what we were talking about the other day that we were saying we were gonna start hitting talking about the other day that we were saying we were going to start hitting each other? Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, we were saying we would hit the fuck out of each other if we dated. Oh, yeah. If we dated, we would hit each other. But I was saying the other day, like, I think I'm going to start hitting Drew.

Yeah. Just casually, like, wake him up with a slap. But the problem is you wake up at like 6 a.m. So I'd never be. Oh, I could wake you up from your naps with a hit. Yeah. But I really haven't been napping recently. Have you noticed? Yeah, I have.

Like, I'm trying. I've been noticing that right i've been noticing that um but yeah that's the big sir trip it was gorgeous um it was so awesome and i'm coming back to this apartment no everything is too worldly everything is too worldly until i'm high as fuck on my iphone in the middle of the night and then it's just as worldly also you know what i'm realizing is like the spiders and bugs and big sir like it's a they're a different vibe that's not true because they bit me the fuck up they literally attacked me they're like real spiders out there i'm saying like the spiders in our house are like fucking freeloaders they're bunk as fuck like i hate all of them like get the fuck out of my bed not to mention the fucking termites and shit like no it's the the bugs here like they they take take take take take and they

never give they except for that one that one that one eats all of our fucking fruit flies like that one's iconic but the bugs and big sir like we're intruding on their land it's like it's like if i went out there and squashed a spider that would be like me going into the ocean and beheading a shark because it ate a person is i am somebody who i will literally kill any bug i don't give a fuck about that your only crime was being small no your crime was being mad fucking annoying and you're gonna bite me because you're a bitch i don't give a fuck about bugs like that but when we were in the creek anytime there was the rocks with the spider on it usually i would have just fucking grabbed the water and went and like got it off

the wall and hung out in there but i genuinely did respect their say so i was like honestly i'm in your house right now it's like when you go to a friend's house and a lot of y'all don't do this because you weren't raised with fucking manners but it's like when you go to a friend's house and you like use their cups and stuff and you're supposed to wash them or at least put them in the sink before you leave a lot of people a lot of people don't do that a lot of people don't wash their cup out and put it back in the cupboard when they're done or in the washing machine or just simply put it in the sink a lot of people and that is just proof that you're a bad person. Yeah, you're evil.

So start doing that. And if you're sitting here thinking like, oh my God, I just got home from my friend's house and I didn't put the cups away. That makes me so anxious. I wonder if my friend feels weird about it, but just never says anything. Your friend does think that and your friend thinks you're evil. Yeah, your friend hates you. And they're not going to invite you back over. Yeah, also. We should just literally for the rest of the episodes just leave in things like that

like anxiety inducing i was literally about to go in like literally also like i know you're probably laying in bed at night like thinking about like something embarrassing you did in your past or something like like that you cringe at or like a behavior you had that like yeah you feel weird about and like you're like do those people think about that yeah you're feeling regretful and shameful it's for a reason everybody remembers everybody remembers every embarrassing moment that you've had around them and they hold it against they hold it against you it's it's like subconsciously deep in their head that like oh yeah you're the piss girl like you pissed your yeah pissed your pants like in front of everybody

in fourth grade who gives a fuck if it was because you sneezed and you were on your period so you like kind of leaked like no that's still fucking disgusting yeah you're weird everybody knows it and honestly for a long time nobody was even going to tell you you had a stain on your butt from your period but you got it on the fucking bed like a nasty bitch and by the time like you got home from school after riding the bus it had already browned it the blood had already oxidized a little bit have i told you about in high school there was this girl who was hella homophobic for no fucking reason and she was whatever she wanted to be a nurse whatever you're about to say she deserved all of it well she started her period in class and we had just gotten to another fucking argument about whether gay people should be able to adopt and i was like but you are so fucking dumb

like are you gonna adopt those kids literally what are you fighting for dumbest argument i've ever heard but we like got into this huge back and forth and then our teacher made us stop because we were getting like aggressive with each other bitch she got up and she went to go walk out of the class and she had a huge period stain on her butt and i was right behind her because we sat next to each other and my friend tapped me on the shoulder was like oh my god stop right i was like no let her walk through the hallway and i let her ass walk through the fucking hallway because how the fuck are you how the fuck do you want to be a nurse but you're gonna literally be homophobic like yeah but yeah she walked around with a period butt and she got really embarrassed.

Damn. Well, speaking of embarrassing things that people did, we had J.D. Vance fucking a couch. Nasty freak fucking bitch. Die in a fire challenge. Challenge, hypothetically. But. Caitlyn Bennett gun girl shitting herself at a college frat party um wait so is that real or was that a rumor it's real okay yeah it's real yeah it's it's a very real thing that happened

well wait i start a rumor like that about someone yeah josiah no it has to be somebody who like. Kai had a wet dream while recording the podcast. Oh no. What? I don't like that one. We can't tell that one to people. When we tell that one to people, they like low key believe it from the clips they've probably seen. Well, that's the point of the rumors.

Oh, that they believe it. Yeah, that's like the point. Okay, so back to Caitlin Bennett, Gun Girl. So I know for a fact I've talked about this on the patreon i don't think i've talked about it publicly but for years and years and i'm not exaggerating literally years multiple years um not a single soul in my life knew about this um it was just me and my followers on this account i had a top secret caitlin bennett sleeper cell fan account um that i would post on every single day and i was in character like it was straight up like method acting the day the day drew exposed this to me like he carried out this whole experiment saw it through and then showed

me everything i will never forget that day like that was so fucking funny do you have screenshots of it uh on my other phone i do i screen recorded everything before i deleted the account um but for years i became very very very close with caitlin bennett's followers um i was in group chats i was chatting with them in dms they were responding to my messages they were responding to my tweets i was liking their tweets i was responding to their tweets i got really really close to these fucking freakazoids um well basically like the account i was like cosplaying as was this middle-aged woman that had children and a husband um well she found out that her husband um was leaving him or was leaving her because he cheated on her with a woman and she was hotter than her so this woman like while being a caitlin bennett fan account responding to every single caitlin bennett tweet i even got like interactions with caitlin like i was like taking up for her and defending her i was like caitlin

did not shit herself like y'all are like absolutely insane. Like y'all are liars. Y'all are making this up. Y'all are just in love with her. Like what the fuck? Well, this woman's husband left her and cheated on her and left her for another woman and left her with the children.

Well, that sent her into a very, very deep like psychosis where she was like freaking the fuck out and then she was like wait i might be gay like i think i'm actually in love with caitlyn so she started like manically tweeting at caitlyn that she was like in love with her and like it was getting really freaky and people started being like are you good like what's going on girl i'm like i have the clearest image right now in my head of like one of the tweets where you found a random picture of a cup of beer and you also like made her an alcoholic for a while. Like it'd be like in the middle of the day and you'd be like, well, it's five o'clock somewhere. Yeah, she was she was a very she was an alcoholic with her children. and then um she started actually losing her mind and like tweaking the fuck out and talking about

like codes in the sky well the government took her children from her um and so it was just her so then she started tweeting at caitlin like hey i know you have high up connects like in the government congress can you get my kids back and then when caitlin wasn't responding she would start freaking the fuck out and being like well i fucking hate this bitch like i gave you my body like i gave you everything i sent you nudes like unsolicited nudes like all this shit like she was just like freaking the fuck out well then she got diagnosed with schizophrenia um and started talking about the codes in the sky and that like everything will make sense if you look for the codes yeah the tweets would be like guys went outside they have

the codes in the sky right now hurry yeah and then you would be like fuck it's so windy guys like because i i always imagined it in my head that you thought it was like she was seeing like a jet like when a plane like leaves words in the sky and i i even like edited photos of what she was seeing like i would take pictures of the sky and like edit photos of it and like write like really like shitty numbers sorry i'm scrolling through my photo library to see if i have them oh wait i literally have like oh my god here okay so liars kate never shit herself um okay can we agree that at kate is braver than most u.s marines um oh wait this is oh no i don't know if i have kate that's bernice yeah do you think at kate gun girl supports homophobia i really hope not dead rose emoji and then someone responded back and said

no i think she loves the gays and i said good to know thanks for your support um and then oh i also made merch for caitlin bennett i made like um also drew would like just talk to these people about their days and then randomly if they started talking about political stuff drew would just randomly like i would become like incredibly liberal and then but then like the people would be like oh okay no i was dead as a sleeper cell like i turned some of these like middle-aged women out like i was like no like you have to view it from this perspective and like they would be like oh wait like that's actually t like i go back to tweeting It'd be like the codes, the codes, the codes. Yeah, it wasn't for nothing. Also, in 2018, I tweeted, as a gay woman with three children.

And then I said, make America great again, hashtag 2A. Anyone have any wine suggestions? I'm tired of drinking barefoot. Cheap and effective, but it doesn't taste good. Who started the rumor at Caitlin Bennett is gay love that girl but she has a boyfriend ladies that was part of her arc where she was like trying to convince herself that Caitlin was gay that like she like had a chance with her dude I love the the wine tweet yeah um oh I also did like start like commenting on every single one of caitlyn's like pictures on twitter saying like uh we love a gay queen like she's so gay like we support her

and people would like freak the fuck out they would like they would take up for her and be like she is not gay like don't say that about her so tweeted, I am being attacked and ridiculed for being LGBT and supporting hashtag Caitlin Bennett. The entire LGBT supports and accepts Caitlin Bennett and her apology. Queen of the gays. Queen of the gays. Trying to get my job back. Only have $2,000 saved up. Have bills to pay and children to feed people.

I think I was trying to like siphon money at that point from like my supporters. I was trying to get them to like donate to me. Oh my God, dude. Long time no speak. My kids were taken from me because I wasn't prioritizing them. I have to work two jobs and keep a roof over their heads and food on the table my job were my jobs were for my children this country is dark sick and twisted and headed in a dark direction oh that one's really real yeah

wait do you have the aex bernice ones yeah my God. Should we tell that story? I feel like have we? We've told AX Bernice. I've probably told this too, like a million times. Oh, I had a prepper arc where I was like. We're like a doomsday prepper. Yeah, yeah. And I was asking for advice. I think I'm going to be on the next season of Love Island.

It's kind of my vibe. That's like a horrible vibe. That doesn't match your energy. That doesn't match your energy. I would get your i would get along so well i'd be a favorite honestly you would be a fan favorite because you're just too real no i would actually freak out and i'd be like locked up in the bedroom all day like they would lock you up bro like bitch let me put some fucking clothes on i'd start walking around with the duvet wrapped around my shoulders i would just like i'm i would be like i'm literally anemic that's what's fucked up how many of those bitches are anemic and

they like aren't allowed to wear clothes i feel like i would be fucking freezing in there that is t i never thought about that also the one we were watching like with fully just nude people oh my god we haven't talked about that have we not i don't think so there's naked attraction is that what it's called i'm not sure it's some shit like that no naked attraction is the hbo the one we watch on hbo that one's iconic that's that that one's like that one makes me sick because i hate like i hate the guys like i literally hate it it makes me like sick um but no we found this dating show that's like love island except everyone is like fully completely fucking butt ass naked like not like oh they're like wearing

a loincloth or like nipple pasty like fully naked no socks no shoes even in the confessionals and the guys all always sit with their like legs spread to the camera and it is like this like imagine this view but like naked with it all just hanging out the camera is like kind of at a lower angle it is so fucking disgusting but the show was so insane to watch you would be shocked though because it turns out they are so fucking boring like them being naked the shock it wears out yeah the shock value of it yeah it like just disintegrates yeah i guess maybe that's why like naked attraction is such a fast-paced show or that's why it's like so good that like it's also because it's new people every time yeah we're seeing new body parts like

it gets boring like looking at i mean every dude on that show is the scariest motherfucker i've ever seen except for one the men on the show also like it's always the bodies are like oh my god and then they show the face and i'm like how is she supposed to say who's going home because i would have been like it's like the balloon pop where you're like that's what would happen in that room if i walked into a 20 v1 they would all keep their balloon unpopped no they would eat the balloon i eat it um well if i was in a 20 v1 i think i would win and i'd probably just go on a date with like everybody the more the merrier i'm not kidding though i i really want to drive a school bus soon like i wish i was kidding i was

watching um bitch you bet bet i thought i wasn't gonna steal a bus we stole a bus you the first part of that sentence was like you thought i wasn't gonna steal a bus we stole a bus you the first part of that sentence was like you thought i wasn't gonna steal a bus we stole a bus did those girls get in trouble for that i know they started posting like vlogs on youtube that have like a hundred likes or a hundred views on them that like i was obsessed with them but i don't think they ever really got in trouble i think they got like a slap on the wrist okay good um but i was watching people do i keep getting emails about fucking hurricane milton like i think florida thinks i'm still a resident there because i it's update number seven damn you emailed me seven times today oh leave me alone i have to talk um it's kind of cool though to get

that they have like or not just like that they have an update system like the future is awesome actually um it's not like in the scary videos we watch about tornadoes before phones and it's like nobody could have told them the tornado was coming so they all just died they perished i know oh yeah cool but i was watching videos of people tour the new school buses and I really want to drive one and they don't seem that hard to drive like I genuinely think I would be a really good bus driver because I feel like I'm a good driver why are you shaking your head now I mean you're

I'm a girl you're a girl yeah I'm not kidding i forgot yeah that i can't be a bus driver or just a driver driver in general driver uber driver who driver um but yeah so if anybody can get me in contact with somebody who could let me get in a bus and drive it around i would be so happy because like imagine me driving the school bus and all you guys in the back would be really cute maybe we just need a van though we need a big bus yeah but then we i because i want it to be full like i want it to be like i imagine a very jovial scene like the music's playing like everybody's talking is on the radio everybody's like in the back seat singing but on a really big bus with only like five of us in it it's gonna be kind of sad because i'm like wow we um we are, it's going to be kind of sad. Yeah. We are.

We really we took the year of rest and relaxation a little too serious. Y'all, we have no more friends. That's not true. Speak for your fucking self. I have no more friends. I have too many friends, actually. Don't get me started on how many friends I have. Because you sound like having a lot of friends expert.

You would know a lot about having friends. Yeah. Speak for yourself, though, because I got too too many i don't have any more friends like legitimately like i've just like completely given up on like maintaining relationships with anybody in my life like if you don't live with me like i don't see you like i literally don't i guess yeah i have started to tap into that i think we talked about on an episode but i'm trying to get out of it but it's like i literally i leave the house and there's a calling like spend money spend money i was gonna say there's a calling back home and then i feel bad because i'm like i'm gonna waste the day i get like no sunlight exposure and then

but the first 20 minutes of leaving the house like yesterday when i went and picked up my medication and it was like 10 30 a.m and i'm like already already and out the door and i was like wow life is beautiful like there's not many people on the road it's like a gorgeous temperature and then i got back inside and i looked out my window because i was like it was nice out there and i just stood there and i was like i'm not going back out there like for the rest of the week i don't actually want to do that and it makes me sad though because like the joy i felt when i left the house early was compelling but not compelling enough to not sit on the couch on my iphone my thing is is like actually what is there to do like literally i don't know what there is to do anymore like that's this that's the scary fucking thing. It's like, I can't think of anything to do.

Like, oh, like, yeah, let's go spend money. Like, let's go get a coffee and spend $20 on a fucking coffee that I don't even drink. Like, what is there to do? Like, I literally can't tell you one thing to do. Yeah, I guess also like, we don't have really good parks because I was thinking about that the other day. Like recently I've been really craving going to the park,

but we ended up going to Big Sur instead, which if Big Sur was closed, bitch, I would be there all the fucking time. But we don't have like nice parks in LA. Yeah, we have good beaches. There's like three cute parks that I've been to and I do like. Bitch, I don't want to go sit by the fucking dam in silver lake

the reservoir like that shit is like walking around the wet reservoir is like so fried it is it is crazy also like even the body of water is like supposed to be eluding that you're in nature but it's literally in a cage like how the fuck you cage the lake like the lake is caged and then echo park is fucking caged have you been seeing locktober no so like a bunch of straight dudes like it's like the whole like winter arc like i'm shaving my head i'm bulking up like i'm gonna take care of myself this winter like don't fucking play with me like winter well a bunch of dudes have been saying like oh it's like locktober like you gotta lock in for october like it's loctober bitch loctober really what loctober is and it's been coined for like literally the last decade is chastity

men's chastity wear like locking your penis up wait seriously yes and so like all these straight dudes are like hashtag loctober and they have no idea what they're referencing and then the craziest part is is a lot of these like machismo dudes are gonna like see locktober and then see it's so funny because of me saying machismo to you you say it like it's like um like you say it instead of masculine yeah i don't know instead of saying like it rolls off my tongue it rolls off the tongue way better than fucking masculine um but all these dudes are gonna be like oh like let's like see who's locking in for locktober click on it and it's gonna be like a bunch of fucking locked penises down their feed and then they're gonna be like wait why is this doing something for my brain right now why should i lock my penis up so it's gonna be a sexual awakening

basically is what a lot of people yeah a lot of people will be sexually awoken a lot of people wait is chastity belt like can you get that on fucking amazon uh i have no idea i will like why do i want a girl chastity belt low-key i don't even know what a girl chastity belt looks like i just know like the one from underwear i was gonna say i know the one from scary movie where it looks like a jigsaw trap like it's made of metal i'm not kidding like that's what my brain was referencing and then i was like wait that's like a comedy movie that might not be what those look like but i think they are basically that oh oh so it's just like a jock strap for girls girls? Yeah, I hate that. Like, what? No, I want a chastity belt, but I want it to be the cunty, big-ass fucking underwear.

I, like, want a picture in this. Okay, this shit, like, I actually don't want to know the implications. Let me see. That's kind of cute. Like, the leather one, or is that rusted metal? I mean, it's really cunt, but it's a virginity chastity belt. Oh, chastity belt like that's what i'm saying i don't want to know the implications of all this because it's actually going to start making me pissed off but i will be buying one and i'm going to fucking wear one around like i literally i'm never going to have sex again i'm bored um

should i keep talking about the school buses or i was gonna talk about microplastics in our blood so um okay so we all know like microplastics are like in our blood like all that shit like we all know it like it's in our ovaries it's in our balls like it's in our penises it's in our brain it's crossing the blood-brain barrier like da da da da da da da da da but but wait we can literally live with that there were people who were eating out of fucking lead we're literally we're fucking fine but if you lose blood right if you cut yourself on like your countertop with a loose tile or something and you like cut and you lose blood some of that blood might have microplastics in it right and then your body will produce blood without microplastics in it so the tea is is what we should all do is either cut ourselves or get a bunch of leeches and suck

all the microplastic blood out of our body and then just recreate new blood without microplastic and the craziest thing is like they were they might have been onto something but someone's saying this like online like seriously like no they were it was just like a theory yeah no it was like remember when people were like telling kids to like put like certain chemicals in the microwave and started making mustard gas it's like the same thing yeah cut yourself for new blood hashtag cut for new blood yeah but the medieval people were onto something me when somebody took my copy of uh new blood away and i'm like hashtag imagine being justin bieber when people were literally cutting themselves for that shit is cutting for bieber is crazy also and like cut for zane because he smoked weed what the well that

is hella toxic yeah yeah that's that's like a no blow like that's a no like you don't do that i didn't even think about that yeah that's fucked up like that was actually but it was like what because justin bieber spit in a fucking bucket no i think it was probably because justin smoked a cigarette like it was some bullshit like that too it might have been weed you know what's crazy is like okay i understand the ideas and implications of making smoking in general popular like when i hit my puff bar and i'm always holding on to it trust and believe i think about the connotations of like people thinking that's okay but i actively try to say and we've said no to brands that try to get us to like sell those kind of things i understand that

but the way some of y'all still react like remember the way people were acting when jenna ortega got seen smoking a cigarette did you see any of that like people were losing their fucking minds they were like i always knew like i used to think she was cute she looks like fucking shit now like damn bitch like can a girl live a little like back up oh like you're literally tweaking people were like i could tell she's probably been doing this for like a few months she looks old as fuck yeah her skin is decrepit yeah it's like oh my god back up but i get it but also like no back up because she's a grown-ass it's basically like people are still doing that shit like reacting like that which is crazy because i idealized that like response to it is such an old thing but celebrities get

flack for stuff like that all the time it's like someone cursed or like stuck the middle finger to the paparazzi and then their friends are like oh my god like they're not pure they're not pure anymore uh and like the shit ariana grande got for looking that damn donut saying i hate america she like i think we're all old enough that she tore she spilled every moment of that was real i feel like we always thought it was funny like i remember seeing that on the literal news like channel seven news walking into the living room being like ariana grande licks donut and says she hates america and it's like wow that's really fucked up actually like people just having dissertations about it how long is the great wall of china okay no no i said it and you thought the great wall of china was eight miles long actually it

was seven she said seven seven miles long which like is a gross under like literally just like okay to be fair i i don't think i've ever even seen somebody i know go to the great wall of china like i've never seen a photo i've been like oh my god is that someone's with a great wall of I don't think I've ever even seen somebody I know go to the Great Wall of China. Like, I've never seen a photo. I've been like, oh my God, is that someone's at the Great Wall of China? Like, it's not something I see. Like, there's not even a picture of like Michael Jackson at the Great Wall of China. Like, the Great Wall of China is not that girl in terms of tourism.

Like, I feel like I've seen Stonehenge in TikToks. I don't give a fuck about Stonehenge. Like, I don't give a fuck. Wait, what are the seven wonders of the world? I literally don't know. Can we look that up? Also, just for your information, the Great Wall of China is 13,171 miles long, which is mind-bogglingly big.

Like, that is unbelievable. I was close. Yeah, you were actually really close. Yeah. America is, what was it, like 2,400 actually really yeah america is what was it like 2 400 miles wide or something like that at that widest point so just like think about that and then think about how fucking big this wall is like actually why why like i know why historically like i know why but like really like they were not playing world wonders how long did that take to

build i have no idea like years because oh my god you know what was freaking me out the other day Like they were not playing. World wonders. How long did that take to build? I have no idea. Like years? Because, oh my God, you know what was freaking me out the other day? I've talked about this before. Sometimes- Half of these, literally more than half of them aren't even a fucking thing anymore. Girl, we need new world wonders like Inya's vagina because it's so fucking big. No, you know what's a new world wonder?

It's my giant penis. The dome in Las Vegas. Like that's what we have new world wonders like my giant penis the dome in las vegas like that's what we have to show now like for technological advances the empire state building yeah the world wonders now are like the apple like just like tech companies because they're like evaluations are like in the trillions um okay the great pyramids of giza yeah that makes sense those are epic like i want to go there like the engineering that was involved like that is so exciting the hanging gardens of babylon the fuck is that like some bullshit like literally what is it called the hanging edges the hanging gardens of babylon um they don't even know if they actually existed that's

the craziest part like there's no pics there's no pics like wait wait what yeah like they don't even know if it was a real thing it was just like it was like potentially a thing because they read about it okay then at that point i get to say okay is this not real no that's ai babe no that might be a real picture but not of the babylonian gardens um but fuck if they get to say this is a wonder of the world then i think minnie's house at oh because to me that is like it was a very that like really shifted your brain no i'm not kidding only talk about that now it did something to me like it really it set something in me free i'm not kidding also like the craziest

part is her entire house is a fucking kitchen like that's don't get me started don't get me started because i think i already said this in the last episode actually oh really or maybe i didn't i think we did um basically why is mickey mouse's house so fucking big it's two stories long and he has a huge waiting room for everybody and you get to watch cartoons and i have said this already but it still pisses me off there oh i want to go back so bad uh the statue of zeus at olympia a 40 foot statue of zeus made of gold and ivory that was destroyed when the temple was burned in 1426 ce don't give a fuck wait so it's not a thing it's not a thing wait no i've been there in fortnight oh true true true no that's not a thing anymore i don't give a fuck that is not a one that is not

that that does not inspire one yeah i thought i thought all of them were things that you could fucking go to temple of artemis at sephosis ephesus temple artemis yeah that was a thing and there's ruins of it still which is pretty iconic so i'll let that one slide um yeah this is cunt and it's also oh my god i've literally also been here in fortnite yeah period like exactly also like the tea with that one is the same as like the pyramid of visa like the engineering involved like the engineering the girls and stim baby like of it all like uh the mausoleum at uh tyrese halliburton's ass the mausoleum or tyrese halliburton is a basketball player and it is halakarnassius um then the colossal of roads a huge bronze statue built to commemorate the rising of the siege of

road wait i don't think this one exists anymore either yeah none of them exist and then this colossal of roads was like this like giant statue at like a port in a city um that like was ginormous but again it doesn't fucking exist and then the last one oh it does exist and it's bunk as fuck yeah no i would see that in like central park yeah no literally it looks like i fucking built that in my backyard like i literally don't care um and then the last one is the lighthouse of alexandria again probably doesn't fucking exist there probably aren't even ruins of it also i'm not buying the library of alexandra alexandria okay this isn't real wait oh this is like a a model version because i was like oh how the fuck was anybody hanging out yeah no um

yeah so i i really actually don't give a fuck like about any of that shit like the only one i'll wait so stone hedge is not stonehenge and fucking the great wall of china are not considered world wonders you know what it is yeah no at least on that list like the only one is the pyramids of giza also we need we need to start having this conversation. The best pro shop pyramid in Tennessee is a world wonder. Is it actually huge? It's massive. It's ginormous.

Because I've only seen the like franchise ones where they're like tiny. No, the pyramid is ginormous. What? Like, okay. The dude that built it was just like, I want one. Oh, okay. dude that built it was just like i want one oh okay so someone built it because at first i was like i was thinking of like modern times and why those big i think i show up and i'm like it's like what was there before like a ross i was gonna say i think actually it was a like basketball arena and then they converted it into let me look that up because i could be

america's architecture is fucking crazy it's so cooked it is so cooked like it's so ugly but something about it is so gorgeous like certain parts of it yeah it was a sporting and entertainment including basketball tournaments and then they bought it and turned it into a big ass bass pro shop god bless america god bless our fucking troops start your engines and may may the best woman win i literally like i'm gonna freak out bro i cannot believe it like sometimes when i'm driving around recently i forgot where i was driving but i saw a taco bell wait why were you driving oh i'm sorry there was a man driving for me okay good yeah girls can't drive we know this um so i was in the passenger seat but i was driving my little passenger princess you know where the uber i'm your passenger princess yeah the fuck you are

oh my god like and you like grab my thigh and like pet my head and shit i was having like a really bad day yesterday and inya was so affectionate and loving and caring and supporting that it literally took me out of it really yeah it was really sweet i feel like i've recently become extremely like physically affectionate with me yeah yeah to you and it's really hard to not get a boner it's so hard because it's so hard sometimes when i like give you physical affection i'm like does he think i'm actually fucking crazy for this like literally never once have i ever thought of it anything other than you touching me as a friend well i was doing it because i like really want to hook up again i was gonna say like when you start touching my penis and butthole it

gets really jarring when you start touching my gooch stop literally stop we've talked about this before but like i never need to know that you have a naked body under those clothes like all the way naked yeah no it's like ew i'm so scared and i hate my body so you i mean me and no it's not about hating no no it's not about hating your body because i've seen you basically naked but i just can't see your parts like that's too much my genitals oh because i you know what it is because i already think it's so disgusting looking so then if i saw on you it would like it would literally lower the respect i have for you um we had a girl that went to my school and her name was literally jenna tolls jenna tolls her parents were fucking wicked for that shit okay you said you wanted to name your daughters um

mantis orchid and karma that's such good names i can let orchid go orchid is cute mantis orchid and mantis are cute names because like wait it's mantis something and what karma karma like because okay imagine in high school like someone does something mean to my daughter karma and then like someone takes up for her and beats the fuck out of the girl that bullied my daughter karma and then everyone's like yeah karma's a bitch or karma literally beats the fuck out of someone like yeah karma is a bitch like or karma is like a little mean everybody was like yeah i think she would just like she would get bullied like really hard and then she retaliates and everybody's like karma's a

bitch she would eat down and then orchid and mantis as girl girl twins would be really cute because orchids mimic mantises praying mantises and so like it would be like them what would orchids like nickname be though because i'm not saying work like orky come here orky my little orky girl it just sounds like i'm saying porky which would sound really mean to say to a little no or it would be oh like an o is cute oh come here no the more i think about it orchid is awful orchid orchid it's cute. No, but when you know the meaning, it's iconic. And also, they wouldn't be going to real school.

My kids are going to be like thrown into the forest. They're going to be like Ted Kaczynski children. Wait, John Kaczynski? Hold on. Who are all these people? Ted Kaczynski is like the guy, like the one guy. What one guy? The guy that like did all the bombing mail shit. Oh, like the freak?

Yeah, but he was like really, his whole thing was like death to technology, death to technology and death to like modernization, like reject modernity, back to tradition. Like that was his whole shit but john krasinski okay never mind i thought that was the actor yeah that they were related y'all we found out john ham has like a giant fucking penis like the biggest fucking penis i've ever seen in my life and i need him like sometimes you say shit where i'm like that does not need to be a sentence you've said about a real person to the world but then i remember when i said i wanted to give bob odenkirk head until he had a heart attack and died and then

he had a heart attack the next week and then i met his daughter who was listening to that episode on the plane on the way to go see him when he had in the hospital oh there's a fine line i mean it gets to a point do you know what i mean like it really gets to a point like recording this podcast it gets to a fucking point i'm not kidding for the first 10 minutes when i sat down i was like no the first like 40 minutes for me i was like no the first like 40 minutes for me i was like that's not like we need to keep going because it was a weird vibe also it was because the second i sat down i started to get high and i was like when we were talking about worldly things i really looked at the camera and i was like and i just had to stare at you for a

second because i was like there's people who are gonna see me right now yeah no this does not make sense oh my god wait y'all i got so fucking sick like i was like on the verge of death girl i was really close to dying like it was actually really scary like it was i was like i might need to go to the hospital like it was really bad um no it was like the i'm like god blessed me like i really was blessed with like a very chill sickness because now i'm immune to whatever the fuck that was for the rest of the year so i wanted to get it and it was so casual it did kick my fucking ass one of the days but i was like you know what like i'm gonna go outside get some sun yeah i'm gonna go get some sun by the river.

It's going to be like a really good vibe. Like, I'm just going to heal. And if I can't handle it and I do get really sick, I can just go back home. Y'all, nature fucking healed me. Like, dead serious. It literally did. It healed you and Josiah. You guys were like chilling. It was crazy.

Like, I went out there and like almost immediately forgot about being ill. And I was like, wow. Like, I love like, wow. I love water. I love Big Sur. I love getting in water. It does something to my brain where I actually feel stupid as fuck. When I get near a body of water,

a different part of my brain gets activated. That's epigenetic memory. I will get in any body of water no matter how freezing it is like it doesn't it doesn't mean anything to me like it because it means so much to me yeah exactly but i was telling drew that i think the future i see for myself right now is when i'm like 48 i'm gonna move up to big sir and sell nature connection passes to really rich old white ladies and go down like a spiritual psychosis tunnel with myself and these ladies and take them out to the woods and be like just sit just like breathe breathe and do those kind of like meditation how to get into cold water yeah yeah um last time we were in big sir i didn't get in because i was like it's too cold it's too cold

and then at the end of that trip i was so upset with myself that i didn't get fully in the water because i was like honestly like i need to grow the fuck up like oh like it's too cold like i'm gonna be cold like i'm gonna be cold for like literally two seconds like i can't do it like actually grow up like it was pissing me the fuck off and so this time i was like writhing around in that water and it was so fucking fun and i was watercoloring i wanted to bring my airbrush and my um painting that i'm working on right now but i forgot it and so i had the watercolor with a okay emma chamberlain we need to have a word. We really need to have a conversation because the watercolor kit you sent us or sent me, the colors in it.

I have a feeling she didn't pick them. I think they got picked by whatever company did the PR back then. Because they make a version of it that is really iconic. Like it's like literally one of the greatest things I've ever purchased for myself like a decade ago because watercolor was my first love like i love the watercolor medium but emma babe those neon colors we actually need to have you on the podcast to discuss this because to confront you about the matter yeah no it really did save the matter being because drew drew fucking rocks while he was sitting there and he got

really anxious and sad because he thought his rocks didn't look like rocks. And I saved the day because I turned over and without knowing that I was like, oh, did you draw the rocks? Yeah. He was so happy. But I redact all everything I just said because having those colors was a fun experiment to work in luminosity because they're all fucking the most luminous colors i've ever used in my life and the paintings came out great they came out

great and they pushed boundaries for me created boundaries that i didn't know i could get past and there was like this willingness to create because i was just looking at you and thinking about you being like and i was writhing around and playing in the water and i just thought about how long it took for drew to actually get in like he was like he's like can you get this video of me floating on the water and i literally got like 20 minutes worth of him circling okay because and yeah it was three minutes worth of footage not 20 and i was in the water i just didn't want to get above my like diaphragm because i don't know why get okay as a guy getting your penis and balls in the water is a lot like the guys know what i'm talking about like that shit takes a

lot to get it and once you get past that it's pretty easy but then the next hurdle is your diaphragm because it like compresses up and like it makes you go like it's i don't like that feeling so that's where i couldn't get past but for the most part the whole day i was like walking around like belly deep in the water but i just eventually it took me time but i got in i love that water so much and it's so fucking cold y'all like i'm not exaggerating it's gotta be 45 degrees oh it might be colder like it was so cold that it felt like my hands hurt within seconds of being in that water i want to look it up dude it's 85 degrees what girl what the fuck is this website i can't stand websites like this like too many words

put in bold yeah like literally about here let me ask chat gpt i'm not gonna ask chat gpt 45 felt colder to me that's that like horribly cold. 45 is awful. Like the thing is, I want to drink it. Like I wish you could just drink the water there, but would I die or would I get sick? If I drink water? I think you'd be fine,

but don't drink creek water unfiltered, like boil it first. But there's just the chance that there's brain eating amoebas in there. Yeah, every time I like swim around with my head underwater and I like, I'll do this thing where I dunk the sides of my head so that my hair can lay with the middle part. And every time I do that, so much water gets in my ears and I'm really convinced that I'm going to die. Do girls pee out of their clitoris? Like is the hole out of the clitoris? is the hole out of the clitoris yeah all all three of the holes are there okay

because yeah because we have five holes it's the three on the clitoris and then there's one what about the sixth hole the sixth hole the belly button oh yeah the belly button with the chicken wing oh the substance y'all i've seen it twice in the last week um it was one it was like the first movie i've ever seen alone actually and going and seeing that alone is a cooked ass fucking i actually don't know if i've been to the movies alone because i'm not a fucking loser but i have i have been a lot more social with strangers i don't know if you noticed. I noticed he was talking to the man next to us in substance. And I was like, hello, I'm right here. Why are you talking to that man?

I love just chopping it up with people. Are you chopping it up? Have you been chopping it up? You've been chopping it up? Yeah. I love just having conversations with strangers. And honestly, it is really dark-sided and sad how bad we all are at talking to strangers because i'm really bad at it the other person is really bad at it and i think we just need to be a

little more comfortable but a little more sociable yeah a little more sociable but yeah the substance oh so good go see it um it's oh so good i know it it is like i just don't want to say anything scared when movies get a lot of appraisal because i'm like i'm i don't know i'm a piece of shit and i'll go in with an overly critical eye and then be like i didn't like it probably subconsciously just to be different and i was really scared of that happening with this movie but i actually loved it so much and it made me audibly laugh so many times it was funny y'all yeah which did make me think like damn like it it just made it like so much better and i don't want to get into like the cinephile talk of it all but you just have to see yeah we'll give it like another two weeks before we talk about it so everyone watching this can go find a way to see it and pay for

that goddamn movie because it deserves to make 25 million in the box office not the measly 17 only two million dollars profit because that movie was a masterpiece and like so much money it was so fucking good it was so good um we are too far in the future for us to still be doing those fake weird future car videos do you know what i'm talking about when it's like this is like the highly and i think it's kind of like an art form like the concept concept cars i don't give a fuck like you're showing me like literally that's like what my vibrator shape like if you put it upside down that's what all those cars are shaped like because they don't have wheels and they're just like this like i don't giving like none of those cars literally can't drive faster than two miles so it might as well be a fucking go-kart like it's

pissing me off and we will never reach that in our lifetimes because look at the concept cars fucking a hundred years ago like we're not even close to what they were theorizing also it's literally just like to boost morale like what like what is the point also not even that but like we're already at the future like we already have cars that drive themselves we've already established floating cars are not gonna happen they said flying cars were gonna be a thing in 2024 they said it was gonna be a thing in 2019 and blade runner it was like 2019 but instead they got drew and inya hosting a podcast called emergency intercom which might actually be better it is the future no i'm not kidding we were watching nurse jackie before getting on this and i was like josh we're gonna have to take a pause because just like these people go to work in this show and they're saving lives i have a duty to fulfill and i have to go and sit in my chair and save

lives because that's what i do at the end of the day yeah like when people ask what do you do what are your aspirations exactly i can't help but laugh at them because i'm like aspirate like oh you think i'm gonna say how much money i want to make or something like no we want to say I'm this to save lives yeah we like we save lives we give life to people um we laughter is the cure you know we're hearing yeah yeah meaningful connections um yeah it's just it's very special yeah and you guys should listen to the things we say because I know you think we're just being funny half the time but half of you guys are like really weird and y'all are listening you're like so weird you're a weird person and you should be anxious you're listening but you're not hearing yeah you're listening but you're not hearing you're

not you're not really really hearing what we're saying i'm not kidding drew we need to do a full episode where that's all we do it's like an hour of like being on a like fictional high horse and just being awful and y'all have to be in on it so we have to leave this in because i just want to see if it ever got clipped breaches if it breached people being like why would anybody listen to that that's so rude we just need to be like egomaniacs like like you know how like sometimes in like movie like press tours like an actress will be talking about like themselves and like or an actor will just be talking about himself and it's just like super pretentious it's horrible pretentious awful energy we need to channel that yeah i think i'm gonna do that for my real life with all the people i love guys halloween is coming up oh my god and let's just say the devil made me do it we have good ass costumes planned y'all i'm doing a costume change i'm doing a

costume change in the middle of the episode true low key i need to do this oh my god oh my god oh my god ew i hate hearing my own voice bro i can't believe i have to listen to this later like i'm a federal agent i'm a federal agent i'm vietnamese this bitch trying to free the world so who's gonna sell me my iphone this bitch is trying to free the world so who's gonna sell me my iphone so who's gonna sell me my iphone oh also like should we wow you really okay so are we integrating um i'm trying to change the world or or this bitch is trying to change the world or who's gonna sell me my iphone yeah that's what i feel like because like the world saving, if somebody random hears us say that, they'll think we're being serious.

Yeah, it's the iPhone bar. And then it's, wow, you really left me on this hike. Like you really, you really left me on this hike. Is that from Mia Khalifa? Yeah. Is that the song that it's in? I don't know if it's in that song. I don't think so either.

It's from. Oh, no, it is. It is. It's at the very end but why did that come back into rotation um because anytime we talk about a hike we just like josiah or i will just be like wow you really left me on this hike um i feel like it yeah yeah but we just like if someone wrongs you like takes something from you shows up late to something you're at you say wow you really left me on this hike like you really left me like it's fucked up because we were talking about how we just take random shit like that and we make it a part of our vocabulary and all of us we don't talk about it it just starts we all get on it we all understand the context of it a part of our vocabulary and all of us we don't talk about it it just starts we all get on it we all understand the context of it and part of me is like wow that makes us

actually pretty intelligent because we hear that we pick it up we move it it goes on for a while something new comes it happens again but then i really started to think about it i'm like we sound like crazy people half the time like the shit we choose to quote is like my mama bertram my mama bertram that's the fact that we made a whole world like my mama bertram gave birth to the twins laurel and yenni laurel and yenni yeah and pilot jones is the not pilot jones is the father but uh harley davidson is um the mistress like yeah like the who's also partially seeing wingling yeah exactly um i feel like we've actually we've dissected that but oh yeah we've gone into that but yeah the new one is wow you really left me on this hike so

who's gonna sell me my iphone who's gonna sell me my iPhone? We don't really have a context like in a way to use that yet, but like it'll come soon. Y'all the animations, like the emergency intercom clip animations like on TikTok are so fucking good. Like I saw another one like. That I will say we have always had

like listeners and an audience full of such creative people. And we always say it like creative and an audience full of such creative people and we always say it like creative and gorgeous and i recently saw somebody say that and they were like these are the first people to say that and it actually has been proven to be true like when we say it a bitch because i would not say anybody and believe it we have pretty fans i hate the word fans it It literally sounds fucking crazy. I know. Okay, Drew. Drew. oh i'm not sending flowers to your job that shit's basic i'm gonna send a bomb threat so you can

have the day off because i love you babe that's good bitches get stomach cramps and swear they're pregnant hoe fart and lay your ass down that's literally me to josiah like actually josiah just literally needs a fart ugly bitches favorite line is i'm far from ugly nah bitch your gps says you've reached your destination leah leah you're too good girl stop making tiktoks with android stop making tiktoks with androids that shit looked like surveillance footage i think i'm gonna move to a flip phone not the samsung one but i've been seeing people with ones that are like a flip phone with the old motorola keypad and then their touch screen too have you seen that I want one of those bitches with no furniture be like get the

fuck out of my house girl fuck you and the skating rink that's good that's good I cannot believe I'm alive like if you cut me open i would don't like like i have bones you wouldn't even be able to cut me don't even get me fucking started also elton john farted at our movie and cum spilled all over the floor out of his bottle okay bye media i forgot about that elton john farted a cum puddle on the floor of our movie and it was really scary and stinky you're watching this trailer for like smile and this girl the girl in the movie is fucking gorgeous but they had her in this funky ass like leotard costume with a little blonde wig on and i just go oh my god elton john and we had a time we had a fucking we had a goof and a guy um okay my media is obviously the substance go fucking see that shit uh please um and we've been re-watching or i've been re-watching head

or i've been re-watching nurse jackie and just watching it for the first time. So still, I know we said it last week, but like, please tap the fucking. So good. I'm realizing how much of a show person I am. Like I will watch a show.

One thing about me is I will watch the show, but it's because I put that down for Fortnite down. But before night, a, a, nothing else. I can say Lady Gaga, boys,

Sabrina, claws, Charlie, XCcx and bimbo doll tyla teela y'all boys by sabrina boys boys oh okay i thought you meant carpenter i was like what no um that bimbo doll song has ruined my life um i listened to it i only only listened to that song and like i don't know what it is like about that song but like bro that shit is oh cunt like i love i know you listen to it literally like so often and i haven't heard you sesha song like that in so long since like x doll crystal like yeah like you haven't been having repeat songs i don't know what the fuck it is about that song and also like it was crazy because i played that 35 times on the way to oh i thought you were like actually choking on no no that's me um acting like my lips got glued together and i couldn't speak oh okay i'll stop talking then no i was on the way to the

substance and i watched that fucking song or listened to that song 35 times on the way without knowing what the substance was about did you just so happen to like that song right before yeah i was just like listening to the listening like the fuck out of that song. And then I left that movie and was like, wow, that was ironic. And then proceeded to listen to it all the way home. You know, it's more proof to me that that movie is just so good. So many movies, even like some of my favorite movies, rely so much on soundtracking. Music is such a helpful part to a movie.

And when a movie has a soundtrack-like substance, which is essentially nothing of importance. Oh, what was that? Do I stink? No. What were you saying? You must. Oh, is it my tuna box?

It's the box. It's the tuna box. Yeah, thank you. That always happens. Put that down. Dude, actually, I'm so sad that it's going to start getting cold again in the house. Because, like, we have to turn on the heat. You're relating your stinky tuna box to, like, how hot it is outside?

No, no. Okay, there is, like, a crinkling sound. Josiah. Wait. no no there's like a crinkling sound josiah wait no i was gonna say because when it's cold outside we have to turn on the heaters and then the whole house smells really bad because it's essentially cooking yeah it's essential oils tuna box style okay we need to oh wait i have to do media but you were saying something i don't remember yeah it's not that deep but it's nothing of importance i'm losing my mind the craziest part is the substance being an allegory for the menstruation cycle oh i was saying that that's proof it's a really good movie because

it doesn't have any songs that are like soundtracks that somebody would want to walk away listening to or any like notariable songs used in it because so many movies like i even think of the first joker i thought the movie was okay but i wanted to see it so bad because they used a really good song in the trailer like movies use that so hard as like a i will say b and the substance has two songs in it and they're like those weird i love fake songs yeah i or the the i think it was inspired by sophie which is t that's like i think the dude that made or the person that made the music was talking about i was inspired by like sophie well i'm inspired by you every day and you know what's crazy is the same goes for you babe thank you well i'm like trying to find i haven't been listening to like new music i've just kind

of been repeating stuff um my music media is bidding my time robert lester fulsome are you sleeping harry nelson panavision roy blair a music video i know it's such a good music video um lost in your eyes tommy james and the chandelles and that's it and other than that i've been just like literally playing the same shit because my discovery whoa my discover weekly sucks ass. I don't know why. It literally, it's still trying to get me to listen to fucking Elvis. And I don't know how many times I have to tell you that's not going to fucking happen. Elvis and Johnny Cash, baby.

I love Johnny Cash. I didn't know Johnny Cash was a real person until I was like 50. Literally last night. Yeah, actually, last night I saw a picture of Johnny Cash for the first time. Yo, I used to be... No. Bye.