Emergency Intercom - We met lady gaga

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

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Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. hey welcome back everybody i am like weirdly freezing kill all pets all pets must die. All animals must die.

Animals have the rights to wear wigs. Give animals wigs. Give animals hair dye. Give animals more piercings. Give animals the ability to order a collar necklace off Shein. Put more litter boxes in schools for animals who also go to school okay so basically the lore behind this poster um is we did this show for urban outfitters in tucson arizona which was so funny funny like y'all we don't have a single episode where you need to be doing

next time you see me out like run up on me like that because the things that did to my ego thought the colonoscopy meetup was gonna get like at least that's what i did you see it kai um wait is it when like you guys were leaving the store yeah yeah yeah you're getting we don't have a single episode where y'all need to do i saw it but like josiah's walking out and he's like petrified petrified yeah walking through the crowd it was giving shane dawson they were giving like zombie like literally like call of duty zombies i ate up every fucking second of that shit. No, it was so funny. Like, I'm not, like, actually making fun of it,

but it is funny because it's us, so I can't help but be like, girl, like, you would have thought fucking Lady Gaga was in there. Literally, like, the windows were all glass, and every time we came downstairs, they would start hitting the windows, and from the inside,

it literally sounded like they were going to break in. Yeah, it was like... And, like, people slamming their in. Yeah, it was like... And like people slamming their phones against it. So I was like... Also, someone had me sign their copy of Infinite Jest, which... Oh, that's really sick. But the lore behind this poster is we were in the car and people started like circling the car. And they just had it outside the car.

And like someone like was like shoving it in the window and i was like oh can you grab that to my manager and he was like sure and like i think they wanted it signed but i thought they were giving it to me so i just stole it from them and then we proceeded to protest every airport we walked in with it like holding it up with it we kept holding it up and being like give dogs wigs dye your dogs like and people were like random shit terrified of us i have videos also we just kept going up to people and like pointing at it and they would just go like and like just pointing at it and like josie and drew would like go up to cars when we were waiting for our uber at the airport would go up to cars and go in their window and be like

let the dogs dye their hair. Let the animals dye their hair. Let them dye. Let the animals do drag. Let the animals be free. Let animals have wigs. Let animals curse their ears. Wait, so that's like a fan made that? Yeah. Or was it an actual protest thing? No.

No, no. A fan made it yeah or was it an actual protest thing no no a fan made it and we we were like carrying it around feels like going to like a protest like having your sign and we were like people probably think we're like trying to make a statement with this huge sign just holding it around so drew and josie just started being like give dogs wigs like yelling give dogs more piercings like dogs deserve piercings they have the right to wear piercings and wigs they do i sent you all the videos doing that in arizona like literally i know they saw us and they were like i've never seen a liberal like that in person wow like but it was just like shouting that in tucson airport also it's so funny because the thought bubble on it just says i hate bisexuals over and over and over again and at one point we were on like

the transit bus at the airport and josie had it open and like this lady was looking at it was like and like she was the first person to read it and josie got so embarrassed he just like folded it and put it away and like started looking away from her but she was just staring at Josie like huh what does that mean? Which would be so odd I guess if nobody uses their iPhone the way we do to see a dog like that with a thought bubble that just says I hate bisexuals like 50

times it seems like the most as someone in their mid 50s that would be the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life where it's like oh wait are we switching up? I just realized us doing that at the airport like i would be fucking terrified if somebody like was going around the airport acting like that i'd be like i literally pray they're not on my flight like please don't get on my fucking plane yeah that was my carry-on on the flight but i do plan on sending it back because but it's like so much joy seriously do

you need it back but like if it's bringing us this much joy i genuinely was like damn me and you were talking about it i was like i know this is someone's friend group's like favorite i found all the pictures that i'm gonna put on posters next to make the protest around la these pictures are like i don't know why there's like a level of irony it's just like there's a level of irony to them that even i don't know why there's like a level of irony it's just like there's a level of irony to them that even i can't comprehend that i'm laughing at like it's not even like they're inherently funny they're actually fucking stupid but like there's the shutterstock.com at the bottom kills me bro it has to be for like petco or pet smart for like

halloween or something but yeah the uh tucson arizona was gorgiana grande oh my god it was a movie yeah we went for like literally 36 hours and we stayed at like the nicest hotel i've ever been at in my entire life that had like a 240 foot water slide like three pools like three golf courses like we didn't get to use really any of the amenities because we were there so shortly but the second with that water oh we went down we were the only people there because it was a bunch of like people in there like middle-aged people that like their bones would probably turn to powder if they went down the fucking water slide like it was like it was one of those slides their bathing suits would come out the end yeah like they get like snapped by thanos in the middle but it was giving like us just going down it the entire time and i

also so i have a wound on my arm right well i rode the water slide once also i wrote it illegally there was no attendant and i hopped the fence to go down yeah and then when we went back up we were like we should just go up a woman magically appeared so i think they had like a camera or something and they saw drew just like shoot down without anybody around but i have i i am injured on my shoulder oh yeah he got tossed around so much he scraped his shoulder i'm suing this city for real like i'm suing tucson arizona like i am not getting the joy being at that pool mate it was so funny because the night before we went to the pool and like josie and drew got in and it was like such a nice pool and we were like damn no one

is at this fucking resort but it's literally because it was like only 50 plus year olds and they were all asleep by 7 p.m so no one was around and when we got there in the morning the pool was packed and we're like fuck this sucks and then we went to the pool that had the water slide and we were like oh this one was made for kids and nobody is here because we're supposed to be at the other one and we were having the time of our fucking life it was so fucking fun i played dead several times and yes pictures in the water like oh my god i i just need a water slide and then josie was like yeah you guys should um like just get your money up so you could have a house with a water slide in the back and i was like i actually don't know how much money it would take

for you to be able to sustain that like in my head you have to be like a gazillionaire to have a water slide in your backyard but also there would be something so humiliating about having a water slide in your backyard but i guess then i would be living my beauty and the beast uh justin bieber justin bieber yeah fantasy all right guys let's take a moment to decalcify our pineal glands um so we can open up our conscious to higher frequencies and higher powers um what your pineal gland pineal gland like your penis no no no it's in the middle of your head okay it's like the most important gland in your body and it's all calcified from pesticides mercury fluoride which is in toothpaste and water

sugar caffeine alcohol and tobacco which i have all of that like all day long um you need to be getting enough sunlight would you eat the calcified crust off of my pineal gland yes i would save you um that is so loud today no it's always loud our fridge is the loudest thing ever when i'm sitting in the living room sometimes it feels so eerie at like 1 a.m and i just hear like like it feels like my brain is being zapped and i'm about to be fucking abducted oh fuck we didn't troll our neighbors. Oh, yeah. Did we talk about that on the last episode?

Mm-mm. We have new neighbors and we had, like, weird beef with them. Not really beef, but, like, our landlord was just being annoying and was trying to give up my parking spot to the new neighbors. And I was like, I've been here for a long time like that is my fucking spot also the parking lot in our area sucks balls it's so hard to navigate yeah and i have a bigger car than the neighbor so i was like bro what like this is my spot bitch i've been here for like six fucking years give me my fucking seniority like yeah like put some respect on my name like i've given you a lot of money to fucking stay living in this scary ass apartment um so i was like starting basically beef because of our

landlord because she kept trying to pawn off my spa and like one time the neighbor went and took my spot and i was like oh hell no this bitch is gonna learn because i'm fucking unemployed and i'm here all the fucking time so you leave for work tomorrow and i'm moving my car right the fuck back and that's what I did. And I didn't leave the house for like three days to mark my territory. But then like we all of our new neighbors are all very social people. And like this is the first time ever I've heard so many people just like in the building. And I went to it was giving like real party vibes.

Oh, yeah. It was literally the party they threw was the most spooker vibe ever like just based off of the sounds it literally felt like a fake party was being thrown in a movie like i can't describe it like the only song we could understand and knew and heard was a b-bob a doobie song b song b-bob-a-doobie b-bob-a-doobie but that was the only like song that was like a real song that played everything else was it literally sounded like the background of like a girl's episode when they go to a party and it's just like it was like it's literally like that

like it literally sounded like a fake party but that one we forgot to troll because I really wanted to do what we did last time. But a week ago, our neighbors were on the front porch. About a week ago. A week ago. Hey! Hey. Our neighbors were on the front porch having like a really loud conversation and when i went into my room i was like hi about to go to bed and i heard it and i am so fucking nosy that i propped open

the like balcony door and i just stuck my head through it and i stood there for 15 minutes straight listening to them and i was like oh my god this conversation is just starting and it's like 2 a.m and they're gonna keep sitting here talking. So then I dragged Josh and Drew into my room and on my speaker in my room, I started playing the caveman like. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! I did it literally. We played it so fucking loud. And like at first they like kind of ignored it. They were like, oh, like we didn't hear that. Then the second time we played it so fucking loud and like at first they like kind of ignored it they were like oh like we didn't hear that then the second time we played it they were like the dude was like did you did you hear that and she was like oh no i didn't hear that it's just a car passing by it's like a scooter or something and then we played it like six more times and by the end they were like oh they were like we got to go like this is actually like i'm not fucking with this this

is actually so scary and then they're like it keeps getting louder it's like getting louder it's getting closer what is that like is that a person like they were freaking out but then uh i pushed it too far and i started playing i i played like gay sex sounds gay sex sounds and then they were like what is oh and like i feel like they started to notice that we were just trolling and then i started to play like explosion sounds and like police sirens and guns and then they just started to ignore us and honestly it was really sad like yeah it felt like a little kid trying to get a parent's attention and then they're just like kind of over it like you got the attention you were looking for and you want more and your parents just like bruh like but it did work they went inside yeah they were tired away so if you ever got noisy neighbors just play the caveman screams and gay porn sounds and they'll just go inside they'll just leave um but yeah

last night i watched nightmare before christmas and it was awesome yeah that movie sucks dick oh well like boring as fuck. Art style's terrible. What? You're gay. Okay. I'm gonna tell your parents. I'm not gay.

I'm gonna tell your parents. Do your parents know you're gay? Is that a thing? Do your parents know you're gay? I'm not. Yes or no? I'm not. Yes or no? I'm not. Yes or no, do your parents know you're gay i'm not i'm not yes or no i'm not yes or no do your parents know you're gay uh one time i told my mom and she went i literally told my mom about a girl i liked she went oh god literally just like not you too yeah she's like yeah she's like seriously

like and then i just never spoke to her about it again because she's weird as fuck. She spilled, actually. I know, she low-key ate me up, and she fixed me, actually. But fuck, what was I going to say? Kai, do your parents know you're gay? It's a yes or no. It's a yes or no yes or no no no it's okay you can come out one day you can come

out one day it's okay dude i've never figured out how to get past that question that is such a hard question to figure out do your parents ask you that or you're saying you can't figure it out for yourself no that was like no like the this is something about a clown like a clown was like gay or something what no that was like those those like riddles in seventh grade that was um it was like oh did you know if your hand is bigger than your face you're gay yeah and then you would like hold it up and they would like smack you in the face yeah or like how do you look at your nails yeah i think i'm gonna be a disney adult for the rest of the year that's kind of my vibe like i've been seeing the videos of people at disney and it's fall coded but also i just had this revelation last night at rain's house because like she had the fireplace on she gave me a bunch of treats rain treats me like wait no we need to go back to the there was something i needed to

bring up talking about doc martens and shit you're gay no no i lost it i lost it hold on let me think about it for a second well this episode is brought to you by Samsung Galaxy. Ever captured a great night video only for it to be ruined by that one noisy talker? With Audio Erase on the new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, you can reduce or remove unwanted noise and relive your favorite

moments without the distractions. And that's not all. New Galaxy AI features like NowBrief will give you personalized insights based on your day schedule so that you're prepared no matter what pre-order the samsung galaxy s25 ultra now at samsung.com yeah being at her house yesterday with the fireplace watching nightmare before christmas before i went to bed i was like y'all really watch that terrible movie huh dude what is your beef with that movie if it was oh if it was call me by your name you'd be so

happy why call me by your name because it's gay that movie's not gay yeah no that was like the straightest movie ever like how is that movie i guess it has a straight ending it has a happy ending actually that movie has a good ending we got a lot of y'all were like oh the ending of that movie is so sad it's actually very happy yeah because oscar isaac makes me want to have sex with him oscar isaac whoever the fuck his dad is i forget i don't the guy who plays his dad yeah it's not oscar isaac but it's like is oscar isaac doppelganger i want his father at the end of that no he's not like oscar isaac but he is very sexy. Y'all know the show Zabumafu? Yeah.

That was my sexual awakening. Zabumafu was your sexual awakening? Not the little lemur. Oh, okay. Well, what else are we supposed to think? The two dudes. I don't remember any of the humans in that. I just remember the lemur.

All I can think about is the fact that there's... I thought that that was only a lemur. No, there were two guys. Look. Ew. the fact that there's i thought that that was only a lemur no there were two guys look oh um i'm a furry what the fuck is this was it real or was it a puppet it was a puppet had to have been a puppet but no they had it like bouncing around and yeah but he talks like i think like maybe they had a real lemur at one point but no it's a puppet he would like fucking move around and talk are you sure didn't he talk they had to

have had a real one too well you're asking me if this is a puppet this like clearly puppet in this photo i know you're making me freak out because i'm not looking at any pictures no i'm saying what i'm saying they had a puppet but they also had a real footage of a lemur jumping around yeah do y'all remember that big fucking tree i wanted to go inside of it so bad yeah there's a big tree in nightmare before christmas too that you can go inside yeah that busted ass holiday well that's my vibe with sexy back by justin timberlake i can't hear that song i can't i can't see red lights if i walk into a room and it's red it stuns you like yeah i get immediately teleported back um but yeah i think i'm

gonna be a disney adult this year and then last night i stayed up too late because i was looking at tiktoks of people going to disneyland right now and like do you watch the guy that collects the pins yeah i love him it's so sweet he he completed a collection today like i am very prone to making fun of disney adults but i understand there's a fine line yeah i mean you can be normal and fucking be a disney adult but or you can be like a fucking freak bitch and like if you're a freak once you got those fucking button-ups with the patterns on it the disney patterns i think that's pushing it like i think that's pushing it like when you have like the seasonal button-ups for your disney adulting when you wear onesies when you wear

like onesies of the characters to disney you're pushing it. That is crazy work. I once was at Disneyland. I got so excited that when I saw a hidden Mickey, I pissed myself. That's schizophrenia. I wasn't at Disneyland. I was just walking around. You were in Central Park. The hidden Mickeys are a mass hallucination by all Disney adults. Wait, is it not actually a thing? I thought it was a thing. No, it's a mass hallucination by all Disney adults.

Wait, is it not actually a thing? I thought it was a thing. No, it's a mass hallucination. Yeah, it's a sign up. What? Because in one of the videos I saw, there was Mickey's head made out of leaves on the floor. That's interesting that you saw that.

Yeah, that's very curious. No, but it was like, guys, I could show you. I actually was thinking it. I was like, did this person do this? do they just like have this on the floor there and it's like cemented in so that people could take videos? No, I'm telling you, it's like mass hysteria, like burning the witches of Salem. But when I show you this one, you'll like you'll believe me. Oh, my God.

And then I went on a crazy arterics. Oh, can we talk about how bad nightmare before christmas is oh my god bro that's it was actually making me really sad because i was like damn funding like this does not get put into movies anymore like it is so insane the work this movie took like a stop motion movie like that the whole cast is like does such good voice acting danny elfman like destroyed all the music like it's so good like everyone was in that movie is so good and i was just like oh my god also i was like how did they make this shit up like people just be making shit up i know tim burton is like freaky deaky and also like is was nine men for christmas a thing before that or no it's like a fully original story i

think it's an original story i but the vibe stories anymore no literally disney like is canceled pixar's canceled actually dreamworks is cooking right now but it's all fucking that bunk ass animation like please like add some sauce and fucking flavor please i'm begging you and like also can like a little bit of spice uh can like a like hurry the fuck up with their new movie because the people that made uh coralline um are making a new claymation and it looks like spooky vibes it looks like fucking lit but yeah no my nightmare before christmas slander is not real um that is a great movie i just need that like i need to see this i want to see it he's bad this was the craziest video i saw i saw a video i won't put it on here but there was this woman who was like my my disney like outfit for the day and she just

had whoever was filming it literally film her ass like she has a huge day and she just had whoever was filming it literally film her ass like she has a huge ass and she just had it filmed through the park and i was like this feels like really freaky get on your phones right now and look up spider-man and the first fucking videos that pop up are not spider-man they're like slim thick baddies in spider-man costumes with their knockers and butts hanging out and that is a psychological operation to destroy the west we are all controlled we are all controlled by sexuality and our sexuality y'all just look at it just test the waters it's it's gonna be a sexy hot girl in a spider-man outfit, maybe I am schizophrenic. I really can't find the Disney one and it's starting to scare me. I can't find the Mickey out of leaves.

And I think I really was just so in my bag about my hallucinations of how fun Disney could be. The thing is, I always feel like this. I'm always like, oh my God, Disney would be so fun. I fucking hate being there like it's fun in idea being there is a fucking nightmare being around that many people freaks me out I can only think of the worst things that could possibly happen I was gonna say last time I was there me and Orion were like genuinely like terrified that a mass shooting was gonna happen

and we convinced ourselves so we left we convinced ourselves you're crazy yeah no i'm fucking crazy i'm fucking but i do really want to go have you heard about the like ultra exclusive disney adult like membership yeah like rule 34 look up rule 34 on twitter like rule 34 mickey and all the information about it will come up. Yeah, there's some restaurant that's really expensive. Have you heard about the drama? I bet it sucks dick. There's drama in tea. Basically, there's a 10-year waiting list to get into this club, 10 to 15 years.

This couple finally got accepted, and I think it's like $ 000 a year 12 000 a year to be a member in this club but you get like 180 like passes to disney and you get like a bunch of guest passes you get all of this like free merchandise so by the end it like essentially pays for itself but there's very strict rules that like you can't do certain things with these passes you can't blah blah blah blah blah blah well this like couple like i can't remember what they did but they like either like filmed inside of their oh no no the husband um was found passed out on a bench and quote unquote reeked of alcohol so they kicked them out of their membership at this club in disney and so they started suing disney because they kicked them out of their membership at this club in

disney and so they started suing disney because they were like oh he was just tired like he's probably fucking blackout drunk but like um they were trying to get their membership back and then they lost the lawsuit so then the couple just started leaking all of this shit about this club and they were like well uh all of the members they get access to this like certain merchandise and then there's very strict rules on not reselling it but the second they get it they put it up on ebay and there are items from this thing that like disney collectors buy because they're like super rare so like these people are making thousands and thousands of dollars off of just the merchandise and then they sell their like tickets and they like give their like passes to

this club to like friends and family so they can come in and buy merch. And it's just this like weird, like awful, like scam that people are running where by the end, like they get their membership, but they start profiting off of it. Like insane amounts of money. This is insane.

The fucking mug is going for 500 yeah there was like an item girl this mug is ugly as fuck me when i'm looking at you me when i'm drinking out of this in the morning me when you do a full bead of makeup girl that mug is ugly as fuck see once you start wearing these it's a wrap yeah exactly like this is cooked you're cooked and fried you're you're done you're you're done you're done what is that from again you're over you're done you're done you're done the amount of pictures i take of rain's like cat jinx when i'm there is ridiculous that is really cute it's so cute and he was laying on me while we were watching the movie and i was like so fucking happy because i guess azul would do that but

azul would annoy me because azul would shed all over me oh little me ches there is this clip of jd vance that i'm sure y'all have seen but it has been seared into my brain forever in a way that like i don't know if i'll ever shake the sheer terror and fear it sent through my body like i actually like when i see his face now i'm like genuinely triggered because like the clip of him interacting with those fucking donut shop workers is i haven't seen that oh it is the most horrifying like robotic demonic thing i've ever seen they asked him the employees were like it's it's the most awkward conversation ever then the employees are like what do you want like what do you want to eat like we can get you whatever you want and he was like he answers them by saying whatever makes sense which i don't know like i don't know like what the fuck but it literally felt like i want to see it literally felt like i had seven days

left to live after watching that like it was literally giving like the ring i think you're just triggered by gay politicians no literally that fuck couches freak bitch um it like genuinely creeps me the fuck i cannot wait to see the debate between him and tim walls because he has peas for a brain oh we were i was talking to rain about like the iq level test i would love to know jd vance's iq level 12 zoom has come to town thank you for letting us come in here. Yes, sir. Hey, Bob. I'm kidding, yes. I'm running for vice president. You'll see it.

Okay. We're going to do... Who let this happen? Yep. We're just, you know, random, sordid stuff here. How long have you worked here? I've been here since the beginning of your life. Okay.

It is true. Okay, good. How about you, sir? Her? How many years is the beginning of your life? Okay. It is two. Okay. How long have you been serving? Uh, almost two years. Her? They didn't cut her out. How long has it been?

Just everything. Yeah, I mean a lot of glaze here, some sprinkle stuff, some of these cinnamon rolls, just whatever makes sense. How long has this place been around? About four years. About four years? Okay. How long you've been here uh a little over six months okay good yes uh well we selected this place i didn't know if

it had been here for 20 years or four years it's also giving like i don't think he's ever had a real conversation in his life no yeah why did he ask them that and did i don't know if i just like fucking hate his guts and he freaks me the fuck out so i hyper analyze anything well no because he like what he was expecting is like he was literally expecting to come in and it'd be like when like a late night show brings like a famous person and the person's like oh my god i can't believe lady gaga's here like it's like that like oh my god like harry styles is in my donut shop i'm freaking out bitch it's jd vance like they don't want to be fucking serving him or talking to him he's like the worst person on the planet and he's like he's like expecting them to be like oh my god how are you liking georgia we're so happy you're here

but they're just like what the fuck do you want also like so weird like just that empty space with all these photographers around for somebody who they don't fuck with you want also like so weird like just that empty space with all these photographers around for somebody who they don't fuck with like it's just so awkward also he did not know i don't think he's ever eaten a donut no like whatever makes sense is like the most dark-sided thing you can ever say like that's very dark whatever the normal person would usually get is what i want yeah like that's very fried cooked dark sided energy. But we saw Joker 2, shout out IMAX, shout out Warner Bros. For inviting us.

That was iconic. It was iconic. It was very iconic. The more iconic part was the fact that Lady Gaga came out after. Girl, no. And it was freaking us out. Gaga came out after. Gaga came out after.aga came out after and it was horrifying like i don't think

y'all understand like what that person means to me and seeing her in the flesh that close with that very little amount of people legitimately like when i found out she was going to be there on the way there my heart sank to my ass and i like went silent and i was like oh my god like this is like lady gaga like like seventh grade me like making the crystal glasses lady gaga like literally lady gaga that we watch music videos till 3 a.m like once a week like like this is like real life lady gaga the thing is like i knew she was gonna do a q a after but like i don't think i really digested that information and i when going into i was like oh i don't really care like it'd be cool to like talk like to see her talk about it

but like i didn't think i would be affected by it but when she was about to come to the room also the silence in that room waiting for her to come in like very we were all like so terrified like there was just like this aura in the room of like oh god being scared like everybody was like kind of scared and it was a q a and we had to ask the questions and when she came in it was only like 20 seconds that everybody was silent but i had no plans on asking a question but when she came in, it was only like 20 seconds that everybody was silent. But I had no plans on asking a question. But when they came in with the mic, she was like, it felt like she maybe looked around for five seconds and nobody had raised their hand yet. But I was so uncomfortable and scared because I was like, Oh my god, everybody's flopping. Like

we're all flopping. Nobody has a question. So I just shot my hand up and asked a question. And then I had to contain eye contact with lady gaga for like 15 minutes while she answered my question she is terrifyingly good at like also she literally looked at me like literally five times like she was obsessed with me and inya would not let me ask this after the movie and i think it would have been a banger even if it flopped it would have been the funniest thing i ever could have i think it would have been a banger even if it flopped it would have been the funniest thing i ever could have done but it would have been like very disrespectful because she's taking it very seriously but i wanted to ask her so was that like a documentary

was that real like are you okay like there was bombs and guns and stuff like are you okay i literally was just like please don't do that because I don't know if she would find it funny. Sarah Basker thought it was funny. No, I, yeah. And I thought it was hilarious, but I don't know if Lady Gaga would be like, like, I don't know if she would. I don't think anybody in the room would have laughed.

They would have thought I was being dead serious too. But the ultimate like gag of it all is after the q a which i wanted to ask a real question but they like literally took the mic from my hand they could sense the dark-sided energy annoying ass wanted to be the last one to ask the question so after every question he was kind of like looking around and like seeing if they were gonna stop and he just wanted to be the last one to speak to her yeah and like what what's the problem guys she was like oh by the way i'm oh my god i'm gonna freak the fuck out i'm gonna freak the fuck out she pointed at me and inya in the back of the fucking crowd and was like oh by the way like i know who y'all are like i've seen y'all and we're in like a

room full of like other influencers and she like oh my god i'm like literally about this i was like i felt like i was being punk and she like looked at us and she was like wait i know who y'all are let's like get a picture together so she's like i've seen you guys before so fucking so she's i still don't know if this is a fucking joke no fucking way what and then did she ask like oh like where's the guy who did the period simulator like i love that oh no she was like dude that guy is so weird when he's on screen it makes me feel so weird really and she said it actually inspired her and she's inspired movie because she was like it felt like she was seeing the joker in real life that's so cool the joker we're fucking lying yeah but we did get a picture

and it was so gaggy and she hated it she did not fuck with me she asked to take a picture with everybody and everybody she was like that was a good question like thank you so much for coming being so nice i went up to her one i blacked out like i'm not kidding i don't remember i look so goofy in my picture because i was like i don't remember like i literally after the picture i like i don't know if you saw me i started to like walk the wrong way like i literally was like it felt like i got flash banged i was like so stunned i couldn't even look the wrong way and i just like walked around and i had said hi to her and she didn't say hi back she didn't say a word to me she just took the picture and i walked away yes and then i was the last person to take a

picture and i made like a little silly joke i was like oh i'm last and she was like save the best for last darling and then we took our picture and then she was like thank you so much for coming and looked me in the eyes and i was like it literally felt like she was like thank you so much for coming and looked me in the eyes and i was like it literally felt like i was looking medusa in the eyes like one thing about gaga is she is pr trained out her fucking ass like yeah she gives everybody the time of day like except for you know what this reminds me of it's like when dua lipa asked me to make that video with her oh yeah yeah i just saw that video again for the first time and in my head you don't move at all in that video but like you're going like this i was trying so hard to fit in

i didn't know what to do you're like i'm chill also i think that's like that's like alien vibes like i watch that that's jd vans energy that person that was giving jd vans for sure jd vans in the donut shop yeah like you had to leave you know what it is too is i know exactly where your mind was like you didn't want to be the guy who's just on the wall not moving so you feel like you have to move but like oh 100 i was like you were so in your head huh i was out of my body i was like astral projecting and like watching myself because i was like there's a lot of cameras i feel like maybe this drew and you end up seeing this somehow and i was like projecting into the future and then going back and being like all

right well then let me just look as cool as i possibly can like it's easy for me yeah well you look cool oh yeah that's for sure that's for sure well i want to like learn how to bake at one point in my life like i want to be the kind of person who could just like bake but it just sounds like so much work yeah i was thinking about like starting meal prepping dude that's not that's not this i don't know if that's what she's talking about yeah like broccoli and brown rice and chicken and tubberware to bulk up also like we don't have a microwave i guess you eat all your food cold though i love cold food it's so gross i've been eating mapu tofu with pork in it cold as fuck the past for some reason that sounds like it's good it's so good but i am not getting enough nutrients from

eating that um inya and i are fucking crazy people. Like, we are actually fucking crazy people because... What did I do? Girl, oh, you're going to be like, oh, yeah, we are fucking crazy people. Okay, so when I fell, I got this cut on my arm. And Inya was like, no, it's actually cool. Like, I'm kind of jealous. Like, cuts and bruises are chill. So we then proceeded to sit on the couch for 15 minutes,

punching our legs and arms, ourselves bruises i did get a bruise i have one right here look i got one too yeah oh my god we have it in the same spot yeah we like sat punching ourselves with our knuckle out to give ourselves bruises and then we like we were like oh my god like this is crazy because i was like oh i i used to have bruises all over my leg last summer but i don but I wasn't really doing anything. You were giving a lot of top. You were giving a lot of head. Sleeping around in shag and bruises on your knees.

I've actually never understood that, like the bruises on the knees thing. Like is somebody like you're giving head like. You're like crawling towards. You're like crawling on your knees. Like I've never understood like i've never understood i've never understood why like is that what you're doing so like that's why you get so many bruises like i've never understood that or someone when someone's like i got got crazy rug burn, I'm like, you're being like slid around.

Like, I don't really understand. But yeah, I was saying like, I missed having like bruises on my leg, which is a crazy thing. Whatever. Like, it's my life. Like, I seriously. And then I started hitting myself and Drew just started copying me and we were sitting on the couch. Literally, it was right after you walked out the door, too.

So we were literally just like on the couch like. We don't recommend it. Don't do as I do. Don't do as I say. What is it? Don't do as I do, do as I say. So don't do what I did. Do as I say.

Right, right, right. I don't fucking know bro i can't believe some people are fucking engineers i've like realized so i don't watch murder stuff anymore like i don't keep up with like murder like docu-series like murder mysteries but what i do watch is i went from like tornado videos and like weather phenomenons to now engineering like there's this guy who like tells you how like bridges are made how dams work like all these kind of those kind of like engineering like phenomenons that we just like have in our day-to-day life that literally keep us sustaining as a society what it's just engineering phenomenon well to me it is like it literally is like a phenomenon like i can't believe people just like figure that out like what the fuck are you talking about it is so

beyond my like area of comprehension and then i was realizing i was like damn i watch a lot of educational shit i absorb nothing i could not relay anything of substance to you because i just watch it to like dull my brain out and I'm watching it and I'm hearing it and I'm listening it. But I am learning absolutely nothing like no idea how bridges are made, no idea how to read a weather map, even though the guy I watched for the tornadoes would in depth describe it scientifically and then show videos. I don't know shit still so i can't believe some people are just fucking engineers like that is so crazy to me like how the fuck do you absorb

any of that like you have to actually just have a passion for knowledge and i just don't i don't i don't think i do i think i'm gonna ask my psychiatrist today if he could give me an iq test oh so that's gonna be a vibe you'll probably get like a 52 which is really good i was gonna say like me and rain we're talking about it yesterday and i thought that like and you're gonna get be good so to rain i was like i'd be fine with a 70 and then we looked it up and i was like holy shit like but then i was like wait loki if i had a low iq i'd be like i'm really scared because i feel like i'm doing you don't you do not have a low iq you have like a high iq i think i genuinely think i have a low iq i would bet money that you have an iq above 107 you have an you either have an extremely average like you

have above a 100 for sure i would dude if i had anything below 100 i will genuinely be appalled and shocked me and rain were saying but like if i had an extremely high iq do you think you'd be a little like oh like that's kind of scary because for some reason if one of my friends had like a 160 iq i'd be like what do you know killer like you're literally the killer all killers have high iqs that's what i'm saying you're the fucking killer because what's her name the girl who shot andy warhol she had like a 145 iq like she had a really high iq and she was the killer she was literally the killer is there footage of andy warhol getting shot or no that's footage of him getting shot that's the beetle john ramsey john

lennon wait there's footage of that no i think i think so what the hell or maybe i'm thinking of like the dude oh no no i'm thinking of the dude no no there's like pictures of it because there's a picture of a newspaper where he's like getting shot um because it was like right after the pandemic no literally but not but what i was really thinking of was that one dude that like killed his like child abuser when he was like walking from courtroom to courtroom oh oh yeah that's kind that's iconic cow kitty kitty well i've said it before and i'll say it again i wish conservative crazy people would just like go get a phd in marketing because they are so good with those names like pandemic pandemic eats that one's really for demon krat they demon krat why is

their demon inside a democrat let's have that conversation. No, they tore it. But the real thing that they tore with is the MAGA fashion show. Have you seen it? No. They did a MAGA fashion show. Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light? What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming? Not the couture. No, it's couture down.

That's giving Prada low-key. This is giving Cowboy Carter. Like this little number eight. Girl, fuck this. beat but they're giving indie sleaze here a little bit he's really good at singing actually like i am so wow yeah mega fashion show i like i really can't believe it like damn they have the fucking time that's the thing i don't Like, obviously I know there's like blue collar workers

who are MAGA, but like, why does it feel like they have all the time in the fucking world? Like, it really feels like they have the time, but it's literally because that is their hobby. Their hobby is fucking politics. And they're like, get a fucking board. Get a fucking hobby, freak bitch.

Like, you need to start doing something else. Start fucking crocheting, bro. Like, if we gave them like all like crochet kits and clay and stuff like they would be fucking happy wow that was um that was insane that like i am like kind of like it's really unsettling i don't know if i was silent or if i'm silenced like i can't really tell it was very unsettling vibe oh my god drew stand up hey we're bringing back this segment yeah we're bringing back this segment for today yeah we are yeah we are

okay fuck hold on this is so bad can i get the hawk to a burger feathers on the side please hawk h a wk okay I was recently in Arizona I was recently in Arizona no one told me not to sit on the cactus that's pretty good I forgot about these

I dreamed I had to kill my cat to save my mom. As Justin Timberland once said, Bye, bye, bye. It's my cat. Justin Timberland. Wow. Okay. How did you think of that one?

I don't know, bro. So i was wearing a thong the other day don't ask why why pause for laughter look around like yeah i really just said that well i've been over in the grocery store and a man said look it's a whale tail oh my god I've been over in the grocery store and a man said, look, it's a whale tail. Pause, look around for laughter. All right. This one's a deep cut.

This one's like really important to our culture. Like to our. To like emergency intercom? No, not even the fans will get it i was talking to this guy in the street and he really started talking about how he preferred bagged milk over the tried and true american gallon jug someone check his hard drive whoa whoa what what the fuck does that imply like what like

that one's like too I don't understand i don't even know if i want to do these two because please please they're so bad i don't know i don't even know what to do please did you write all of these on the plane

that's the scarier part is drew just sits there and decides he's gonna do this and all of these just come out i don't know i don't understand this one at all i was climbing a ladder and my spotter literally let go to drink some water so I fell. You had one job, bro. Okay, that's more just like an anecdotal story. It's not really a joke. Dude, this one is like, I'm not even reading this one. Like, I'll let you see it, but like, I don't, I i really i don't even know if it's finished yeah covered a wall in pie call that pie wall

pie wall what does that mean i think that's what i meant dude that was miserable this one is crazy true i didn't even want to read that one dude that was damn that was crazy um going from like the maga fashion show to hearing that like my brain feels like it just got like bro it's like literally when you forget to take your Prozac so you get brains out do you guys have iPhone pinkies yeah yeah you do they're not as bad but yeah look at this yeah yours are crazy actually it's really fucked up what else do those pinkies do for so long finger your butt thank you um okay drew the psyop corner yeah we need a palate cleanser how are you gonna play hashtag hard to get when you're

hashtag hard to look at motherfuckers go to the mall and say these shoes are so fucking hard oh my god and then leave with some auntie and pretzels i make bitches laugh to see if they're missing a tooth if your house has bugs you need to include that when i ask who's over there that's so i love like that's no wait all i could think about is when we were talking about being pregnant and how like i can't believe like on top of being pregnant being painful like you can't smoke weed even and i was like bro if i ended up pregnant right now that baby's coming out asking for a stizzy like it's not asking for like a gram like it's literally like it doesn't need anything but like a fucking stab ribs dab ribs okay can i get the chapel roan burger but make sure it's hot to go you're like gonna send me into like spiritual psychosis well you're not

dissing me you're dissing ava pippins yeah it was good they won't make flying cars because y'all stink stay on e i can see y'all motherfuckers now falling out of this guy talking about i know my car i know my car like i got like 10 more miles left that's so funny all right that's all i got um well my media of the week is i started nurse I started Nurse Jackie so I gotta gotta keep watching that what have I done that song played in my head

when you were listening or when you were watching I was starting to crave watching it yesterday but I wasn't home so I couldn't and then for media honestly like I've been listening to the same, like, songs for weeks. Music brings me no joy. But I do like, we can make it if we try by the silvers.

And do I still figure in your life, Pete D'Lo and friends. Blade's new album, Cold Visions, is pretty cool. There's, like, 150 billion songs. Did you know the speaker box box and is it the love below did you know that's the highest selling like hip-hop rap album of all time no but that yes that makes sense 13 million copies sold it went diamond it's like the highest selling and i was listening to like prototype and she sits in my lap lives in my lap i was watching this like documentary on andre 3000 and i didn't realize how fucking cool he was like i knew like whoever made

who was whoever's in outcast is automatically cool but like i didn't really like look into his life that much bitch like he made i think at aliens or whatever at aliens yeah um aliens yeah whatever the fuck however you say it atlanta and then he literally like came back randomly one day to the studio and was like basically like a monk and was vegan and like all this shit and everybody was like whoa what happened to you and he was like oh well like i just realized i was going down like a really dark path and like all these drugs and alcohol that i was doing was like ruining me and i knew i wasn't going to be able to show up here and in other places in my life so i just cut it all out bitch that self dedication and self-preservation is so inspiring and i'm like that's so cool like

he's so fucking cool and then i watched this documentary on beyonce which just was like i need to find out the name of this youtube account because i they made a beyonce documentary and a quentin tarantino documentary and like both of them were like genuine masterpieces and I was like it basically all he does is he finds like clips of these people online or like fan clips or like interviews or like whatever the fuck like clips of their movies clips of their music videos like all that shit and then he like somehow molds them to like fit his narrative and his like script and his storyline and it's like fucking really impressive yeah they're really good um let me see if i can find them um so i

can shout them out because like it really is genuinely so impressive but the beyonce one is good and the quentin tarantino one is very informative and cool and i didn't like know that quentin tarantino when he was first directing was like I'm only gonna make 10 movies and he's basically done that's it let me find this the speaker box in the low blow is so good it's also I didn't realize

how long it was I mean I like knew how long it was it's like half big boy and then half like Andre it's like it feels like it's like cut into two albums and it feels like they made their two albums like together but separately so they each had their own thing together uh the guy's name is dodd for d-o-d-f-o-r-d and it's the cult of beyonce and then the quentin tarantino one and i'm sure his other ones are good too um but i was like i goop. I was gooped. Don't look at my likes. Don't look at my fucking likes. Actually, I'm so curious what's on there. Oh, this guy. I love his videos.

The uniqueness of memes are very exaggerated. They're certainly a hallmark of the internet and modern anthropology, but they don't have some distinct psychology. They're not their own language. I'm going to try to dispel that exemplified idea of memes and demonstrate how they're simply a medium, like any other form of language. And this means that they fall under all of the same character." He's really esoteric and weird. Um, well, thanks for watching guys. Bye! Well, thanks for watching, guys. Bye. Outro Music