Emergency Intercom - We Moved To New York City

Episode Date: November 5, 2021

In this episode we discuss how badly we want to live in NYC. Yet again we prove we are awful people because we find normal human things embarrassing… Also prom is chill ur just being too cool. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Hello! New York! New York!

New York, let me hear you make some noise! Ah! Damn, the people came out tonight! They showed up. Damn. Okay, first of all, I'm fucking freezing, but isn't my outfit cute? Show them. Show it off.

Okay. Damn. I'm serving my Sunday's best. And you're here for sure. I'm kind of just doing my own thing. I got the Happy Nine-Nine sweater. Really excited about this. Just got it last night

happy nine nine nat and dom the shout out shout out nat and dom for letting us use the rooftop um because that's how y'all are getting this beautiful view of us in the empire state building by the skyline yeah we bought a city i will say we did get our first brand deal which is happening in this episode and we used it already This video is not sponsored. It's sponsored by our patreon. Oh, yeah. Thank you guys to everybody who joined the patreon We should start off with that. I will say we film these about a week and a half in advance So we actually have no idea No, we're like thank you so much guys and it's like only the 80 people who sign up now and no one else actually all those people unsubscribe after they saw the video we released already

um yeah so just shout out to all those people guys up here with us we're literally fucking freezing because for some reason in the past like 48 hours it got like definitely cold in the city disgustingly cold i'm like for some reason as if we're not going into november like it's like becoming winter um which i think also brings us into the first topic which is things that are fucking embarrassing that shouldn't be embarrassing and being cold is one of those like like shivering being cold like like i think i think what it is is just like normal human shit that every human experiences that shouldn't be embarrassing is embarrassing to me. But it is. It is. No, that's what I'm saying.

Like, being cold, like, why as a man are you cold? You know what it is? It's, like, I think as someone who didn't grow up in cold places, like, there are certain people who know how to, like, layer up and get the proper things for that. But I remember when I first started coming to New York last year and all my friends would take me to the store but they'd be like okay you need like a heat tech and like a thermal and then you need a down and then you need a shell then you need a raincoat then you need a puffer don't forget the puffer big black puffer you can't forget the puffer no it's it's fucking embarrassing like i don't want to have to go to the store and buy this shit like i just want to be i want to be able to wear my sleigh fit and look cute like i don't want to have to go to the store and buy this shit like i just want to be i want to be able to wear my sleigh fit and look cute like i don't want to be layered up like i

need my tits to show how are people going to respect me if my boobs aren't out like that's my thing is like in the winter how do how do y'all like get um if you stank in the cold you're a dangerous motherfucker you're a dangerous motherfucker i look you stink in the cold because like for some reason the cold makes me, like, sweat. I know. I get, like, the cold sweats. We know. Oh, another thing that's really embarrassing to me is, like, running slash, like, exercising in front of your crush.

I mean, it must be hard. Like, every time we work out, like, for you especially, like, working out in front of me literally must be so embarrassing. I promise it's not that big of a deal. No, I don't have a crush on you anymore. Oh, my God. That TikTok someone made made someone made a tiktok edit that drew can't watch i watched it because i'm so self-absorbed that i'm like wait that's how i look at people when i like them no wonder but no legitimately when i saw that fucking clip like my arms went numb and like my brain immediately like hardwire reset and i like i genuinely could

not finish the fucking video like it was actually like repulsive i got like i'm not kidding three seconds in like i could not do it but i think that just also is like that's another thing that's fucking embarrassing like yourself two years ago like oh yeah even me last year i'm like come on i'm like what were you doing bro like what were you doing like get a life last night i Me last night, I'm like, come on, get a grip. Like, that's actually me every morning. I'm embarrassed of myself like two days ago, two hours ago. Well, one of my embarrassing things, just moving on from that one, is I think walking down a hill or a slight decline is embarrassing as hell. No, oh my God.

Actually, I was walking down in these shoes and I fucking busted my ass going down an incline and i thought i was killing i was like like digging my heels in so i like have some like grounding and i just like like slipped it's embarrassing it's embarrassing like you're shaking your ass you're moving your hips a little bit like it is for men it is a little bit it's a little fruity as a man why are you walking down down a hill? That's all I have to say. You better start walking on all fours like an animal. Like, you're scaring me. That's all I have to say. Also, if you're, like, watching and you're like, why the fuck would they do this at this time of day?

It looks like it's, like, nighttime. We thought we would be cute and get, like, a cool sunset, but it's literally, like... The sunset is setting over there. It's the most cloudy I've ever seen. Actually, it's not at all. It's not the most... Over there, it's the most cloudy i've ever seen actually it's not at all but also yeah i was giving a weather forecast we're like it's the most cloudy on that side of the weather in brooklyn it's looking very cloudy i just know my city like this is kind of my city it has become your city but yeah we just wanted to give you a nice little skyline view um a little pretty view um there was oh being drunk to me is really embarrassing also like i do it to myself

but like is it it's not embarrassing in the moment it's embarrassing the next day yeah the next day i'm like that's really embarrassing and i don't even have to do anything necessarily embarrassing i'm just like no like i was no i was like like. Another clip is you, like, I'm not taking him to the hospital. No, okay. I was talking to Kai about this in the elevator. I was like, this is when being drunk is embarrassing, is when I get to the point of drunk that I'm, like, slurring. Which, it takes a lot of alcohol for me. I like to think that.

But I think even last night, at one point, I did sound very drunk. Because we ate at, like, six. Yeah, you were, like, at the you were like at the bar you were like okay like should I get one more drink because if I have one more drink I'll be slurring my words a little bit and I was like literally run that shit because and I knew it because we had dinner at like six and by this time it was like 1 a.m and I I knew I needed food and there was no more food for my like alcohol to land on so after that one drink we had when we got there I really felt drunk already um but i was like we're gonna be here for a while like i might as well keep going that that's the that's the thing about me and a drink is i'm going to have it you're going to have the drink absolutely going to have it if you do not

give me a debit card and expect me not to buy a drink after a drink after you want to drink i'll get you a drink no me buying those drinks last night and not even getting a single thank you like i won't ever forget that i always say oh i say thank you in my own ways you know exactly what i'm saying i thank you with my whole i know you with my other but that bouncing off of that another embarrassing trait i have written down is the club like the club is just embarrassing no it is for all y'all who are too young to have gone to a club yet girl it is not euphoria it is not euphoria it is literally it's. For all of y'all who are too young to have gone to a club yet, girl, it is not euphoria. It is not euphoria.

It is literally, like. It's a whole bunch of, like, standing around, like, watching people stand around and be awkward. And then, like, I feed off of other people's energy around me. And, like, if there's a thousand people around me standing still, like, and I don't know. It's just, like, it's embarrassing. I don't get it. I don't get it. But I have fun regardless.

No, it's, like, fun. But, like, because I think we i think we're a little not to be like we're so self-aware but i think we are a little too self-aware about like our bodily movements and something about dancing is embarrassing sometimes like no and i like going to a club and dancing but i get embarrassed especially when i'm around men and i see them dancing i'm like oh you should like go sit down like get off you need to make space for the girls like you're taking up the space and that one person like like it felt like they were like in a competition or like trying to show off like it's very similar to how we act and like this one person had her had their purse like swinging around and like they were dancing right next to me and they literally beat the shit out

of my face with their fucking bag and i have like a cut across my top i was gonna say was it your lip bleeding yeah my lip was bleeding um it was a nightmare i took a shot with a bloody lip and it burnt the fuck out of it but it healed it yeah like i i cleaned it out looking for your uber so embarrassing that is so embarrassing i was at the airport no be like my car is here but like where's the car like walking back and forth and then like having to do the head dip to look at the tag and like like knocking your head around and be like oh and then having to having to look at your phone and like verify the car and the tag and all that. It's really embarrassing.

It's really embarrassing. Why don't you drive here? I get you drink, but we need to normalize drinking and driving again. No. We do not need to normalize that at all. No, I'm kidding. I don't condone that, obviously. I do it because I'm different. Girl, what?

No, I don't. I don't do that. I'm so scared my chair is just going to inch back, inch back an inch and I'm going to fall. No, our chairs are going to fall back and we're going to fall down this building. Through the fucking wood floors that are already breaking. I have another one. Eating is embarrassing. I think just, like, eating food just in general is embarrassing.

Like, okay, like, you have to eat sustenance to survive to survive like that make that make sense okay is it you yourself eating it or is it like other people and you eating is just embarrassing because when i'm talking about this i mean like even me looking for an uber or seeing someone else looking for an uber no matter who's doing it it's embarrassing but there are certain things that it's only embarrassing when someone else does it no i just mean like as a collective like, as the human race, like, the fact that we all have to eat food is, like, embarrassing. Like, we should have evolved past that, like, a long time ago.

Like, we should have invented, like, a pill that you take in the morning and, like, yeah, I don't know. I personally find it kind of endearing. Like, I know if I really, like, am into someone if I like watching them eat because, like, if I, like, am watching someone enjoy their food, I'm like, stop, you're cute. You're going to eat me up like that next, or what? I'm going to eat you out like that. What the fuck?

Cold and cold. Dude, yeah, it is actually so freezing up here. You know when you get cold and your hands start, like, stiffening up and you can't, like, move them properly? That's how I feel right now. Yeah. Trying to think what else uh cleaning your room is like embarrassing to do in front of someone like for some reason that's embarrassing like what if you like have someone staying over and then you wake up and you're like making your bed and stuff that's embarrassing like they should only see it when it's like made kept or then they should should leave after the deeds are done. You feel me?

The last one I have is using an umbrella. That is embarrassing. No, actually, I would rather get wet than be using an umbrella. It's like, what are you so scared of? You're also living more if you're getting wet by the rain. Yeah, I don't believe the good old legend of like, oh, don't get wet. You're going to get a cold. Like, no, the fuck I won't.

You don't know me, bitch. You absolutely know nothing about me. I'm actually built hella different. Like wet you're gonna get a cold like no the fuck i won't you don't know me bitch you absolutely know nothing about me i'm actually built hella different like i'm not getting cold absolutely i've never once gotten a fucking cold after being in the rain that's all you bitches just think you know what it is they're fucking close about like mildew and they know if they get wet it's gonna like rate the heat and the mildew smell is gonna radiate out um what oh the sky's looking pretty over there yeah you can't really see it in the but yeah like i don't get it i've never gotten a cold from being cold i've only gotten a cold

from being around sick motherfuckers who are evil and sick and twisted and don't know when to fucking stay home. Josiah. Josiah. Josiah will, like, Josiah will have a cold and not tell us until he gets there. And I'm like, dude, I don't know. When I get a cold, I don't know if this is, like, this for everybody, but when I get a cold, like, I get a cold. Like, my shit, like, fills up with snot. Like, I have, like, the most intense pressure in my face. Like, it's actually painful. And, like, if I fly with colds, it feels like the most intense pressure in my face like it's actually

painful and like if i fly with colds it feels like my teeth are gonna fall out um i personally don't get sick because like i said i am i genuinely am built different when you grow up with no health insurance your bones are just built a little different from the dirt you yeah you're a little stronger i don't get colds like that. Like, nothing can kill me. And that's why I don't believe in COVID either. Okay, I'm sorry. Oh, my God. This is like, what can I say?

I'm in New York and I'm being real and I'm saying things people don't want to hear. And I don't believe in COVID. You're in your friendly woods, Sarah. I know. I'm in my friendly woods saying whatever the fuck I want. Okay, I love you, friendly woods. You will never see this, so it doesn't matter. But when that bitch conks over, I'm taking her her spot like no no one else could complain like i do

publicly like yeah no that's my spot you need to run for governor um on the platform that you're gonna bring back complaining yeah complaining needs to be normalized it is so fucking fun like bitch i'd rather die if you told me i had to like live a life where i only thought peaceful thoughts and like was optimistic i would be like kill me like i'm going to i'm no that actually sounds like the final form like that sounds like the best life you can live like yeah no no i'm saying having positive thoughts and being optimistic like what talking shit is so much fun people someone had a tiktok the other day where i was like i can't be friends with someone who talks shit and then the girl was like bitch i can't be friends with you like i can't be friends with someone who doesn't if you're not talking shit you're a fucking freak and you're a masochist behind closed doors and i can't trust you

i used to not i used to not talk shit and then i met you and i became like a very hateful angry person that talked a lot of shit. And recently. Why spread love when you can spread hate? Recently, I've been trying to get out of that shit talking phase. But it is so ingrained in my DNA at this point that like I can't go back. See, babes, it was never a face for me. I'm genuinely a shit talker now.

And honestly, I'm better for it. To me, it's weirder if you're the kind of motherfucker who doesn't shit talker now and honestly i'm better for it like to me it's weirder i'm a hater kind of motherfucker who doesn't shit talk publicly like don't don't people are like oh no i like i i don't want to say shit like in front of people or like whatever i don't know them so i don't want to talk shit in front of them bitch why what the fuck are you so scared of like speak who you are be who you are kai having to take off his fucking headphones but yeah that's another thing like i've you know like online like there's this whole argument where like mind your own business like mind your fucking business i'm not minding my business like absolutely not okay here's i'm not minding my business i refuse because i'm like you mind your fucking business when it comes to my life away from me don't ask me shit i don't want to talk to you fuck you but why the fuck are

you posting on the internet if you don't want me to look and talk and talk shit and ask you a question yeah i'm done minding my i mean i never minded my business i thought that was a fad that the internet went through like i feel like it's's part of the human condition to not mind your business. It's how we connect. Gossip has always been around. Yeah, actually, I saw a video, which might be just one of those things where I'm like, I learned this from TikTok. But, okay, why is there smoke coming from that building?

I know, I saw that. I think it's just letting off heat. But I saw on TikTok, it was this thing that i was like actually no what if what if we captured the second on video a girl we will just bleep that out write that down that would be fucking crazy stop okay um so it'd be sick. I saw a video that it was like gossiping was demonized by men in like ye olden haggardy times because they didn't like that woman were becoming like very emotionally interconnected and like casting judgment on the men around them. And like obviously men just don't have the same kind of like shit talking like it because it's really it isn't shit talking like I getting to know my girls and you're being nosy no it is true i can't i i genuinely cannot hang like with the girls when y'all are talking like when you and orion are like talking y'all like i genuinely like can't hang like i i can observe and be like a third party and be like yup yup but

i can't like spit the yeah no you you can like, it really is just a different form of connecting with your girls. That's why when I meet someone who's too nice, I'm like, you're a fucking, you're a psyop. You're hiding something. You are a psyop. You're hiding something. What are you hiding? You're a chameleon. You're someone who I need to start talking shit about. There are a few people in the world, like a very few amount of people in the world that are just genuinely good people who don't have a mean bone in their body never have never will and i that's what i was going through i was like i want to be one of those people i want i want to be one of those people that like when they see me they're like that is a nice person like a good person but that's just not me i wasn't born that way i wasn't

raised that way it'll never be me i think like maybe I would like to think that like my close friends. Nope. Think of. No, we don't. We don't. Not at all. But I would like to. You're dangerous.

You're a dangerous person. Yeah. I don't give a fuck and I'll beat the shit out of you. I'll fight for you until you stop fighting for me because then I'll beat the shit out. I'll turn on you very quick if you turn on me, bitch. Fuck you. No, you wouldn't. No, it's actually.

We literally couldn't turn on each other. Like this hypothetical is bullshit. Bitch, I can't turn on anyone. That's the problem. That's what I'm saying. Like we couldn't turn on each other. Like this hypothetical is bullshit. Bitch, I can't turn on anyone. That's the problem. That's what I'm saying. Like we couldn't turn on each other. Yeah, of course. I can't turn on anybody.

I literally like, the only person I could turn on is Kai. Yeah, no, I don't like, because I don't have an emotional connection to Kai like that. So it's like. I said, I said I love you to Kai last night for the first time. Oh my God. When he was backing away. We said we love Kai before. Have we?

I say I love you when you leave the house sometimes. Are you kidding me? Sometimes when you're walking out, I'll straight up be like, I'll be like, love you. Bye. Get home safe. I say it to everybody who is in the close group. See, that's the thing that we need to normalize is saying I love you. That's the thing we need to normalize.

We need to normalize. Like it's not on every fucking t-shirt in the world. What we need to normalize is normalizing things. Because that's something that's not normalized enough. No, we need to un-normalize it because there are some bitches who need to shut the fuck up. Okay, so here's the thing. We need to normalize complaining, but we also need to normalize that some bitches should shut the fuck up. But that's where the complaining comes into play because I need to be able to complain that some bitches won't shut the fuck up.

So it's all very complicated But it makes sense if you if you get it you get it you and if you don't you don't yeah And if you don't you just don't it smells so good someone is cooking I literally just shit out of my ass I like farted the biggest stinky fart of my life, and you ate like I watched it whiff up to your nose It was actually green it was a green cloud, and you inhaled it. And that's what you smelled. Someone commented, they were like, can Enya stop moaning? But you're sexualizing my kisses.

That's my love language. Yeah. Well, I guess we could talk about our experience in New York so far. It's been great. It's been fun. It's been very domestic. Oh, yeah. How do you feel?

Because tomorrow is, like, our last, like, full day. Yeah. I don't know. I, like, I've been to New York a few times, but mainly just on work or, like, only been here for, like, a couple days. And it's been very touristy and, like, just, like, you, like. There's two different New Yorks. Yeah, there's so many different parts to New York that, like, I feel like I got off on the wrong foot. But after, like, living, like, a more domestic, like, New York lifestyle and, like, not, like, super touristy, like, I fucking love it here.

And, like, it reinvigorated, like, my want to live here, like, soon. Dude, yeah. I remember. Like, eventually. Yeah. I used to, like, I remember I had a friend who would come here for work a lot. And they had mentioned to me, they were like, oh, you would like love New York. But this is like 2019.

And I remember because my only trips to New York, I had been like staying kind of close to like the fucking Times Square and like really like up in the city. And I was just like, I couldn't give a fuck about New York. Like, fuck off. Like, I don't care. And then for the past year and a half, just after coming out out here which I don't know if like I guess if people follow me they know but I I've been coming out here a lot the past year and a half like like 30 percent of your life you've been in New York yeah the last year and a half um dude I would even go as far as saying like 50 because like I would I spent I came here in like August and then September. August and then October.

And then I was here in November and December. February. I was here every other month for the past year. Okay. Besides the fucking point. But I would come here and I would spend three weeks at a time. And I literally love it here so much. I don't think it's my time to live here yet. I would love to live here so bad.

But it's just my reality is in Los Angeles. And I have to accept that that's my stinky little city for now. For the moment. Yeah. When I was like, like picking colleges, like I applied to like NYU and UCLA and UT and all that. And I like my first like choice was UCLA obviously but I was like dude it would be so fun to live in New York but then like I just had friends who like lived out there and they were like it's like darkness like when winter rolls around it's like evil but also like those

people weren't like old like older yet and that's something I also realized is like, if I did move out here when I was 18, like that would have been a fucking nightmare. Like, I don't know. I don't think I would have been able to survive out here, um, as like an 18 year old. However, now that I've like lived on my own for like a few years, like I feel like I definitely could like navigate my way around New York city because yeah. And also, yeah, like just living like I definitely could like navigate my way around New York City because yeah and also yeah like just living like a domestic life like oh in fucking Brooklyn like like walking around there like I don't know I just feel like LA is just like a very anti like human city like it's very like anti-human connection and it's very like scary and open

and weird and I like just being in New York, I feel just like safer because like the tall buildings and like walking around the corner to like the bodega to get a snack or whatever. Not having to drive 15 minutes everywhere. No, I was going to say actually when you were like, I feel like I would have been like very alone and like scared to live here at 18. I feel like maybe it would have been a little like much, but we were lucky enough that like our experiences by the time we were 18, 19, we had like interacted with enough strangers and been put in enough situations where I feel like we could have been fine. Because if anything, I feel like the part about moving away that was really hard for me and what moving to L.A. was why that was so difficult was I was like really alone for a while especially like before you got there i was like super alone i think even we were really alone for a second because we like hadn't really connected to josh and them yet like the whole crew wasn't really a crew and i feel like here we would not it would have been like almost instantaneous to find people but granted

everything happens for a reason i feel like now the people we know here are like way fucking awesome and i like love all of them um and they're very like good for us and there's a chance we've i have i have a feeling we probably would have connected with some some evil some sinister entities sinister vibes i yeah i i would love to live here i just don't know if it's time you know we have our family in LA that's it that's my thing like legitimately like after visiting

once like and having like an enjoyable time I'm like girl I want to move here like Kai mentioned he had like a he just felt like he needed like a year in New York that's literally how I feel now I just feel like I need like a year here I don't know um but I just like genuinely am so afraid of leaving yeah our little genuinely the only the only thing keeping me in LA and I cannot

stress the only no same me there is y'all like that is the only thing keeping me down because New York just also like I would be so much closer to my family like that is the only thing keeping me down because new york just also like i would be so much closer to my family like that's the one of the main things that makes new york even more appealing to me is the fact that i could i could right now book a flight for tomorrow and spend like 60 to go see my fucking family yeah and like it would be a two-hour like plane ride and it would be nothing and in la it's to go to fucking miami dude it's always anywhere from 300 during the holidays it goes up to 700 i've even spent a thousand dollars to see my family before nightmare and on top of that it's a six-hour flight and i like kill a whole day

back and forth it's like not enjoyable but yeah one day one day this will be my home unless like i fall into obscurity and nobody fucking cares about me and i'm absolutely useless and nothing to all of you and like you want to see me dead in a hole I'll die in a hole in LA oh god dude I just like I just thought about like living in LA like I don't know I it just I just not does not just feel it just doesn't feel like home yeah and like even like moving like like I've always like I've always talked about like moving, moving, like, right outside the city. Like, it just doesn't feel like it is, like, a place where I could spend the rest of my life. The place I could spend the rest of my fucking life is actually in Wyoming or Utah. Like, I love, I fucking love Utah.

That's the most random. This is our state, though. Yeah, I love Utah. Utah is my New york for you like i spent like a lot of time in utah in 2020 um but no i i genuinely just love it here i feel like it's like i don't know i feel like we i have the privilege of being able to live wherever i want and i used to love um kai's touching the i know he's fucking up the frame he's moving the frame because it's getting dark yeah it's getting no it's getting dark kai like you can see around you

it's getting dark you want to come sit on mommy's lap come on i'm warm papa come on um but i you and don't get it twisted i'm not one of those annoying ass dumb fucking white fuckers who moved into LA and is like, LA is so fake. Fuck LA. I think LA is fucking amazing. You're fake. And I've had a very good time living there.

Like, I, I don't believe in all that shit where all those influencers are like, everyone here is fake. Like, no, bitch. Everyone is a fake. You attract what you put out and you're a piece of shit. I've always said that. I've always said that. Like, you're the fake one.

Like, if you are claiming that people around you are fake like look inside look inside this is just a random thing that i want to bring up that i said yesterday but we like okay we set up don't judge a book by its cover. No, I'm going to judge every book by its cover. And every time I have judged a book by its cover, I've been fucking right. I've been right every time. And I don't understand. It has to be motherfuckers who aren't selling books that put out shitty covers and have shitty graphic design teams that said that.

But also you could go, oh, but it it is don't judge a book by its cover like the person like the people it's bitches who thought what was on the inside matters which is not true get your fucking looks up girl come on step your pussy up oh but let me finish the la thing is i think la is really amazing and i am very grateful to have lived there and i used to really love that fucking city like it used to be everything. And I used to see my whole life like playing out there. I was like, I'm going to move my family here. I'm going to do this, this and that. But as I get older, I just realized like I think I was like lucky enough to get what I got from that city.

And now it's almost been like four years of me. Like it has been for me, it feels like four years instead of three years because in 2017 I was doing with LA what I do with New York now which is where like in 2017 I was in LA every single fucking month until I moved from 2017 to 2018 so like I've got what I needed to get out of there from 2017 to now and I've like met all the people who I love and like live laugh love and I do feel like I have built like quite a community there because I have my like social life. I have my family, like I have everything there, but it's just not getting what it's supposed to have gave. And I'm tired of sitting in my car. What the fuck is so funny over there, huh?

I was not moaning. No, it's because everything, nothing I say is fucking important, bro. I heard everything you said. I'm going to have sex with you tonight. That's the thing. I am a great multitasker. I'm going to have sex with both of you tonight. Absolutely. Absolutely. Our big city fuck. Ooh. That's our porn tape.

A big city fucking. That's another thing. Are you okay? Oh, wait. Before we forget, I am going to tell the very short story about the scary man at the club yesterday. Oh, yeah. One of you lovely people came up to us. And was, like, fantastic.

Yes. Literally boosted my ego to the fucking moon. Yeah, came up to Drew and was like, oh, my God, I, like, love your last video. And then. I believe in you and your artistic direction. Yeah, it was awesome. Like, her and her homie came up. Something none of you would say to me.

I'm pointing at the camera. It's literally one of them who said it. I feel like 80% of our audience is haters. Praying for my fucking downfall. Talk shit, talk shit. I don't fucking care. But came up to us and there was this like really old fucking fart behind her. And like, I mean, like he was, he had to have been pushing 50.

Like he was 52 or some shit. Like he just celebrated his fifth. He was there celebrating his 52nd birthday. Don't you have a family to raise? Yeah. Literally. Don't you have kids? You freak.

Wait, uh, what's, what is it? Um, dudes who are 30 be like, what's the move tonight? Uh,

how about you go raise a fucking family? You're 30 years old. Me when like, we're like kind of inching in. And there are 15 year olds who are watching like, girl, you go raise a fucking family? You're 30 years old. Me when we're kind of inching in, there are 15-year-olds who are watching like, girl, you go raise a family, you old fuck. I remember when I was 15, I would look at the Viners who were 23.

I was like, you old fucking fart. If you don't go start applying for a mortgage right now. But they were also making like Vines on fucking high school. But that's like musicians who still like, why the fuck is Machine Gun Kelly doing A high school themed short film Why is Lainey still talking about High school Why are you talking about prom you fucking freak

You need to go see a therapist You're freaking me out Like go get out of here I'm tired of the prom propaganda Prom was not that big deal It sucked ass And like maybe we're saying that because we're super fucking cool. People really fucking like us.

I went to prom. We're all. I had such a good time. Like, they loved me. It's getting so fucking dark. If you're watching this, you cannot see shit. You can't see shit, so you don't say shit. No, with that said, I think, okay, I hate saying this, but, like, I really, like, I

think prom is, like, kind kind of cute I think it's good to look back and like it's like a rite of passage but like the promification of music you're mishearing me no I know I heard you I heard you the promification of music and the prom aesthetic nerd that's what I'm saying is like yes

I've always been an advocate like go to prom don't be like fuck prom just do it it's like get it over with yeah it's like a doctor's appointment like you really don't want to do it it's like expensive and you're like why do i have to do this you know your life might change in that one night you might find the golden you might glass slipper you might fuck um but i actually did not have sex um my prom night personally. I was still a virgin. Anyways, actually, no.

I'm a virgin. Yeah, I'm a delicate, naive, little. I'm a virgin. I'm a little fertile virgin. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Shut up, shut up. What was I saying? Oh, I was saying that my thing is.

Not you being a virgin. I can't. I can't. What I was saying was, in fact, actually. Yeah, like, why the fuck are you 27 talking about prom? It was not that big of a deal. Yes, go. Yes, it's sweet.

Yes, it's, like, important, whatever. But, bitch, who fucking cares? It's literally, like, you're going and eating shitty, shitty like banquet hall food and dancing to like the top 100. Like why? Why are you writing about it for the rest of your life? Like I get it. Like, you know, the people who get a pass in music is like Olivia Rodrigo. She just turned 18. Yeah.

Like that's her experience. Yes, girl. You better go. You better go and work that prom floor. Make your prom experience memorable. But why the fuck are you 25? You don't even get asked to? You don't even get asked to, you don't even get ID'd at the

store anymore when you're buying liquor. Why the fuck are you talking about prom? You have a beard. You old fucking fart. Fuck you. Fuck, there was something that popped into my head. Especially men. Why are men talking about prom so much? Girl, you need to just admit you're joining the fruity side. Like, why are you talking about

prom so much? If you're bisexual the fruity side. Like, why are you talking about prom so much? If you're bisexual, just say that. I know. If you like a little bit of booty from the other side, just say that. Like the other team, just let me know. I fucking hate that. Be bisexual. I'm like, I'm going senile.

I'm losing it. As the sun goes down on our side of town. I'm losing it. I'm losing it. Also. This is so overstimulating. Like, I have not been able to focus the entire time. I'm just like looking.

It's getting really pretty. I'm looking inside people's windows. Yeah, and there are people having sex. I'm watching. No. Oh, that couple's having, like, hard, like, ass fucking sex. Kai, why'd you turn your head so fast? Yeah, damn.

Kai broke his neck to look. He broke his fucking spine. I think that's it, though. I think that was our new year. Oh, I think that was, um, that was our new year. Oh, I didn't even finish the story about the old fucking fart. Anyways, he went up to that girl and she literally like, it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. He whispered over her shoulder, tried to whisper in her ear and he, she literally just went

no, no. And like yelled at him and shoved her hand in his face and he walked away. And then later that night we witnessed him like just standing around random girls like literally praying like dude he did the scariest like predator walk i've ever seen like full on hunter like no he was walking and then he like walked into his friend it was so creepy i've never seen it in my life dude this girl was walking down the street and he started following her also we were following along just to make sure he didn't do anything like yeah we were we were making sure he wasn't do anything. Yeah, we were literally keeping an eye. We were making sure he wasn't being a freak.

He probably got his ass beat that night because he was being a fucking monster. I know, then he went to go bother a group of dudes. But there was this girl who was walking to a different club and he kind of lost track of her. And started running after her. It was the craziest shit ever. I didn't know he was following someone. Yes, that's why I was like, oh. I thought he was just running around the corner.

No, he was, like, following that girl. Did you see that, Kyle? Like, the girl who was going into, like, the club downstairs? He was, like, following her. And that's why I was like, oh, oh, wait. But, yeah, he was a freak. I hope he ended up on the floor with a bloody nose or something and got his ass beat. He also kept telling people he was in a band.

I'm in a band. Obviously, that's not working out. That's my go-to. I'm in a band. I, that's not working out. That's my go-to. I'm in a band. I run a podcast. Who do you know here? Who do you know here? I have this semi-successful podcast called Emergency Intercom.

Actually, I'm on a podcast that quite a few handful of people sometimes occasionally tune into. Oh, that is a really great feeling, though. It's like when people come up to us and they're like, I love the podcast. They keep complimenting me. That's all I got to say. I'm trying to think. You know, we should start, like, planting things so that if people come up to us and they're like, I love the podcast. They keep complimenting me. That's all I got to say. I'm trying to think, you know, we should start like planting things so that if people come up to us, they can say that. So we actually know if they're listening to the podcast or if they're just saying it. Next time, next time you come up to us and you want to prove that you actually listen to the podcast.

I'm trying to think of what they could say. New York. No, don't do that. New York. I would actually, I get so embarrassed for you. they could say. New York. No, don't do that. Sing it. New York. No, I would actually, I'd get so embarrassed for you. I would just, I would. New York. The Akiway.

New York, the Akiway. Yeah, say the Akiway. That's what Drew and Kai have been saying a lot and it's not okay. Can I get a Bev the Akiway? New York style. You know what Kai has proved this trip is that he's fucking funny. Yeah. That's what Kai has proved this trip is that he's fucking funny. Yeah. That's what Kai has proved this trip.

Kai has proved he's funny. He's funny. He's horny. And he's single. So who wants him? Yeah, Kai is single, guys. If you want him, just go to his IG. Oh, actually, next time you come up to us for the podcast, and if we're with Kai, look at him and then be like, oh.

And then look away. Dude, wait. Insert that photo. Yeah, insert the photo someone came up to us and was like can we take a picture with y'all um and y'all meaning me and yun kai and kai didn't know he was i was like kai she's talking to all of us and it's me and yun this girl taking a photo and kai's in the fucking background like a monster like the predator like he's literally like the predator yeah kai's also really scared so when you meet him don't shake his hand

guys should we get a kai cam should we get a kai we can't afford a fucking kai cam i mean if patreon goes well maybe we could we're like patreon is booming right now guys there's like 20 people on it all right so getting straight into it look at the orange glow over the city beautiful like it is beautiful it is very dark and you can't see shit but who fucking cares oops sorry oops sorry okay um inner city life by goldie let me be your fantasy by baby d and one beer by mf doom oh uh weeping birch by dan deacon Money So Big by Yeats and Contracts by Archie Shep and Jasper Vanthoff

Oh, and my movie of the week is A Star Is Born It literally made me actually want to fucking die Wow It made me want to die I just forgot on the airplane I watched Minari. Oh, I need to see that. Motherfucker. Motherfucker! No, like. You motherfucker!

Not enough people were talking about that movie. It was. A lot of people were talking. Not enough people were talking. Oh, actually, you know what? I would say the same thing for A Star is Born. Like, they need an award or something. They need to win something. They did pretty good. I mean, I wouldn't say it was the best, but they did decent enough. Yeah, Minari.

Go watch Minari if you haven't. It's fantastic. I'm going to watch that. A Star is Born. I'm not kidding. I was sitting between the two grossest, ugliest little fuck of men. You had a middle seat? Yeah.

I was sitting between two disgusting men. I spent extra money to not get one. Literally, listen to this. One of them was watching fucking football. Can you get a goddamn grip? You are on a flying automobile, and you are tuning into cable football? As a man, why are you watching football?

Yeah, because... You like watching two men on top of each other. And their fits are mighty tight. If you're bisexual, say that. Why are you watching two men tussle around over some balls? You can see every football player's bulge. Exactly.

You can see their bulge, and they're literally fighting over a pair of balls. They're fighting over some balls. Oh. What the hell? If you're bisexual, every man that watches football, you're bisexual. You are a little gay, and that's okay. We should make a...

Oh. We're the... Ow, ow, ow, ow. I was going to say we're the bifecta, but Kai claims to be straight. Yeah, right. Pete, that's one of my toxic traits is not believing that anyone is straight. I'm like... You're bisexual until proven guilty.

Until proven normal. Chill. All right, guys. That was this episode. Thank you so much. If you love me, leave a like. They took my fucking movie off of Letterboxd. They took my fucking teeth.

They took my billboard movie off of Letterboxd. It's a movie. Okay. Bye, guys. You can't see me. Just know my whole pussy is out right now. That is really bad for us. That is not...

Smells like cranberry juice and cheese. I want it. I want a bite cranberry juice and cheese. Oh. All right. I want it. I want a bite of it. Thank you, guys. That has been our episode in New York. You can't even see us.

All right. Bye. We're going to have the dirtiest. No, we're not. Get off of me. Ow, ow, ow. We're going to have the dirtiest sex on the subway now. Ooh. Wait, can we walk this way

with the mics? Yeah come on Kai Get up Figure it out You gotta figure it out If you want your job If you wanna keep your job you better get us this

fucking shot This closing shot See this is Like if you wanna work for us you have to be adaptable Adaptation Actually you have to act like you fucking care

about your job Did you know orchids mimic mantis shrimp Did you know that orchids mimic dog. Did you know orchids mimic mantis shrimp? Did you know that orchids mimic cookies? They're not mantis shrimp. Praying mantises. And the reason why they do that is to be pollinated.

And it's a fantastic thing. Really. You were just talking. Like you were so good at just fucking running your mouth. We should have just done the whole episode over here you can't see us wait let me pull it closer oh my god kai you just had to get in huh you just had to get in you're a fucking money hungry fame hungry bitch we have the 5g we literally probably got cancer from this 5g no one wants to talk about that god you're the only

one lit up like do you care about us? Yeah, I look good, though. Oh, it's kind of chill. Y'all are not even center frame. Like, come center frame. No, I want the light. You guys have never wanted to come? We can all get the light if we just get in the middle.

This has been our New York episode. Kai, anything to say? All right, guys. You're done. You're done. You're done for. You're over. You're over. Were over Were you gonna debunk

The horny comment I was I was gonna debunk that I'm not that horny I've seen We've seen him horny I have Yeah

Drew has We can't talk about that Yeah that's That's Patreon That's Patreon content For Patreon Kai's gonna talk about All his awesome sex experiences

Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Bye guys Live, laugh, love yourself But not too much Because you have to save some love for me We bought Kai a new laptop

I bought this laptop We bought him a new interface We bought you a lot of things People also said Hey why are you lying about being in New York? Like, you're not on that fucking airplane. Because all we do is lie. I'm proving the people calling me out wrong. All right, bye. Bye.