Emergency Intercom - We’re Having a Baby

Episode Date: April 15, 2022

Drew reveals why he’s banned for life from Universal Studios and is the stinky boy at the bladee concert. Enya denies the rumors of her being pregnant but still wants a child. Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. well welcome back to emergency intercom what is this episode 412 41 412 okay uh and yes silent for this episode so to fill the void i'm gonna show off my new little toy that i got um i got an op1 um it's a portable synthesizer i'm really excited about it um it's got some cool sounds and can do some really cool things it's basically a portable doll

the workflow is pretty interesting there's some learning curve but here i'm gonna do some sample don't talk uh-uh no no all right here what you need is some portable bitches oh my god what you need is to die in a fire jesus what oh so you can say any portable bitches but when I say you want to die in a fire, fuck you. Burn. You're going to burn too with the rest of the witches. All right, listen. All right, I'm going to do some sample work. You should do that again because it was really off.

We heard it just now. Fuck. I can tell you just got it. That's good. It sounds so good, dude. Wait, this is what it sounds like when I'm having sex. You sound like a robot. Oh.

Oh. Oh. You sound like a robot. And yeah, that's the sound Drew makes when I blow his back out. I was going to start this episode by making a joke about... I was going to start it off by saying we need to stop making such a big deal out of gentrification because I got evicted and my house got turned up like a little LA hype house and it made me a better person, but then I thought about it too much and it actually made me really sad. Oh, damn.

Okay. I still drive by the house I got evicted from. That's an interesting take. And it looks so weird. Oh, one time they left their window open and i could see in the house and it scared me because they didn't change one of the walls so i could see it can you hold this for a second i'm doing i'm doing like something really important like an actually hilarious you're not though and you could have put them right here i just

didn't want them to fall off okay okay oh oh why is it so low this is uh can you turn up the volume or something it's all the way up yo this thing's a piece of fucking how much was that like 20 bucks yeah like 15 dollars i guess that's a pretty that's a good little gadget for 15 dollars i mean anything more than that it would be kind of silly and a piece of shit yeah yeah i'm fucking super i'm fucking well welcome back to a routine or calm do y'all

like my headphones that i just got i just got these piece of shit stupid fucking headphones and i fucking hate them those are drews those are no these aren't yours you tweak those are trues they're literally not these are mine are you actually joking right now because these are mine i don't like know what you want from me i want you to stop claiming my headphones are yours look at this did you know they could do this yeah okay oh you should sample that sound oh yeah wait wrong side okay oh let's uh get into this episode a little bit but i'm gonna turn the clairvoyance mode back on so i can oh so i can hear everything and everywhere all at once oh i saw sonic 2 yesterday it was awesome really i actually really liked it dude eggman's like big suit in it um is so crazy there were parts where i was like damn this was like rendered during

work from home like this was definitely rendered like on someone's pc at home they need to bring back ugly sonic i will die on that hill and i wish i could see it now is still really scary when they do close-ups of his face like i can only look at his mouth and it's so nasty but ugly sonic was so fucking rancid and rat bastardy like it was scary as fuck and could you imagine ugly tails and ugly was it knuckles like if they'd continue that art direction with tails and knuckles we would have three ugly motherfuckers someone out there needs to render they should just give them all like a bulge yeah a bulge yeah that'd be nice like a like sonic should have a

bulge not like he's wearing pants and there's a bulge. Like Sonic should have a bulge. Not like he's wearing pants and there's a bulge, but like there should be a bulge under his fur. I would really. To imply that you could lift his fur and see his bulge. I would sniff it. You would sniff his bulge? Yeah. You would never get that close to his bulge. Tales.

Apparently there was like a really gnarly sex scene with Knuckles and Sonic, but they had to take it out. That's not true and now you're just lying you interrupted us to lie yeah it's true sonic and knuckles fucked or tails and knuckles sonic and knuckles tails is fruity and they gave him a lash perm in this movie wait so it's for the girls and the gays? Yeah. Sonic 2 is. That's actually really advanced. It actually is. Like Eggman and his assistant's relationship is very homoerotic. It made me like, I've never had this feeling before.

It made my member feel like almost slippery. And you don't have a member. Sorry, I was getting a phone call. What did you say? I said, I'm not repeating that. It made your member slippery? Yeah. Like cream out the tip?

Oh, clear. Okay. Damn, Josh, stop fucking calling me. Answer. Maybe it's an emergency. Well. Oh, my God. That scared the shit out of me. It should have. Okay, me i should have okay well this is something that i need to be touched i need to touch on i need to touch

this is something i need to touch myself too yeah um so like we actually do live in the future you know how we've been saying it like at the the blade concert we'll get into that the dragon gang concert we were like oh this is like sometimes you see and you're like you're living in the future yeah well in my hometown in ass nowhere texas there is a literal drone delivery service like you order food and they bring food to you from a drone. What? Yeah, it's fucking crazy. In Granbury? In Granbury. What the fuck?

Isn't that crazy? Should we be saying the town you're from? Girl, everybody knows. I mean, I care about safety. It seems like you don't care about yourself. That's embarrassing. You should have some self-respect. People drove through the billboard and it was gone already. They were like,

how long is it going to be up? Sometimes you talk like a kid in preschool who comes to their teacher and says things they shouldn't be saying. Well, I just say literally every word that comes to my brain. That's the crazy... Actually, I don't

because if I really said everything, it would be... You do not want to know what I'm thinking. You do not want to know what's a crazy. Actually, I don't. Because if I really said everything, like, it would be. You do not want to know what I'm thinking. You do not want to know what's going on. You don't want to know what I'm thinking. Because I'm really horny. It's game over here. But yeah, there's a drone delivery service.

There was something else where I was like, we literally live in the future, Kai. What was it? Oh, the fucking hologram that we saw? Well, there was the hologram. Oh, the Disney ride. The Star Wars Disney ride. I was like. Dude, we saw a hologram that we saw? Well, there was the hologram. Oh, the Disney ride. The Star Wars Disney ride. I was like... Dude, we saw a hologram at Disney and then at the Blade concert.

Like, actually within two days. Wait, was there actually a hologram? Yeah, Blade was a hologram on stage. You're so annoying. I swear to God. Yeah, Blade passed a week ago, but they wanted the show to happen. Yeah, so they just made it happen. No, there was like this weird sign.

It was an ad. Or it wasn't an an ad it was like an advertisement for a drink no it was the theater it was like the theater's logo oh globe theater yeah it was like it said the globe and it was like rotating but it was just floating yeah but like we literally saw that we saw princess leia um hologram at disney seems like it's just really accessible technology. A hologram? What we're saying is we're living in the future. A hologram? That's what I'm saying.

It's like the future is now. I'm experiencing the future. The future is now and it is futile and you don't have much left. What the fuck? I just thought you should know. Not if I have something to do with it. No, the thing is, actually, like, I'm done. I'm tapping out.

I don't want to hear about how the world's ending anymore. Well, no, it's ending in three years. Like, it's okay. I heard three and then I heard ten. Ten honestly, like, made me a little... Three is mine and Kai's theory. That's what we just say. We're like, oh, the world is ending in three years.

Like, go have sex with that person who cares. I don't like 10 because I don't want to die in my 30s. I'd rather die in my 20s. Why would you want to die sooner rather than later? Because by 30 I'm like, oh my God, I haven't figured out. Like I don't have anything to really worry about. Like I'm so happy. But now I still have moments where I'm like, you know.

What? If it all came to an end right now i'd be satisfied no i would be so happy if the world if literally this house exploded like there was a gas leak if there was a gas leak in this house exploded and i died and i just like ceased to exist which i don't actually think death is real i think we just wake up in another timeline don't let me if y'all want me to get in that no we don't we like we don't i do okay so basically wait but before you go on i have to say also when everybody talks about like the world ending i literally imagine everything's setting on fire spontaneously and i

think that's why it brings me out because obviously i'm very aware that like really what's gonna happen is like of course like this is fucking awful and it's gonna be like a lot of third world countries are gonna be like incredibly like affected by it immediately and then it's kind of kind of leak out and there's gonna be flooding there's gonna be blah blah there's they are gonna be a lot of problems um we're already showing the signs yeah like miami will be gone oh that's also what concerns me is i'm like fuck i have to move my family out of miami because it's literally gonna sink yeah the world going to be underwater in three years um but basically i have this theory let me go into it no no when i think of the world i think i I saw that video of the scientists I was like What'd you just say?

When I saw the video of the scientists I was like oh my god and that's what I thought of and I was like oh my god! Yeah no it it it truly is what I'm thinking. Maybe I can laugh though. Um but I have this theory- oh this like there's like three topics here so let me i'll just start with the main topic that i was going to talk about already but tell me why i was like i was so fucking exhausted like three nights ago and i was like in bed i like fell the fuck asleep i was so tired i was like wait i'm gonna have the best sleep of my entire life tell me why in the middle of the night at like 4 a.m

i woke up and i was on all fours all fours like literally like on my knees and on my hands staring out my window that's because you were having a sex dream no i know that's what kai said kai said i was bottoming which is not true i'm straight as fuck i don't do that freaky weird shit i'm literally straight i'm normal you sound like a fucking liar oh my god um anyway i was i was staring out the window and tell me why i literally like for seven seconds i had like i experienced like true zero thoughts in my brain to the point where when i like snapped out of it i was like oh my god i'm dead like did i just die am i alive like i literally could not tell if i was alive still and then it sparked this thought about this theory sometimes you just sound like you're lying

like sometimes you just sound like a liar like that literally sounds like someone coming to school and like thinking of something to say like No, I swear to God that happened because I told Kai about it immediately after it happened. And then. Was Kai in bed with you? How do you tell him that fast? Well, he was the one topping me. Oh. No.

All right. Cut. I said don't mention that gay shit because y'all are going to see my real side. No. So I. It's triggered this thought that i have so like you know how when you dream i think i might have already talked about this but when you dream like you dream in these like very surreal worlds where like anything can really happen but you're still yourself in these worlds literally me dreaming about fortnite three nights in a row

me thinking about elden ring while having sex getting my back blown out thinking about other ring um wait wait wait i thought you were straight why is your back getting blown out i don't know i just i'm like i'm lying i'm a liar no okay so you know how you enter these universes where like nothing exists i mean everything is like happening whatever the fuck i'm trying to say you know what i'm trying to say. I guess. Well, I just got interrupted. Sorry, I literally keep thinking about how I had a dream that I was in Fortnite and I was with Bella Hadid in Fortnite. Yes.

But basically, these worlds exist. But what if the dreams are actual timelines that are in real versions of you happening just in different realities? So what if every time you're dreaming, you close your eyes in this reality but you wake up and you're seeing like your life in a different reality where like you know like the butterfly effect where you do one thing and like make one choice and like it splits off and there's like another option here and here you know what i'm saying yeah so like what if when you die you don't actually die and you just wake up in one of those realities and it's kind of like reincarnation that's crazy my little brother said he wants to be

reincarnated as a gorilla i'm not kidding he told me that the other day and i was like that's good and then he was like he was like he genuinely believes in reincarnation he's that was literally me when i was 11 that's what i like i wanted to believe in reincarnation i kind of still do i'm like i literally don't think we like actually ever die i think we're just stuck repeating the same life for eternity which is okay because you like your brain gets erased you just have little fragments of deja vu the first thought i had this morning and i'm not joking the first thought i had was um why it's so like i was thinking about movies and how when people are told they're about to like lose their memory they like freak out because like you don't want to but once you

like lose your memory you don't wake up like knowing you lost your memory you just like are alive whatever like and then i was like oh my god if you didn't tell someone that they were gonna lose their memory you could just make them lose their memory and they wouldn't be bothered by it. If they just went to sleep and they didn't know that tomorrow they would wake up. You and stuck. But if they woke up tomorrow and they just didn't know, what would it change? And then that freaked me out because I was like, oh my God. That's a really interesting philosophical question because you would fuck up the last day of that person's life by telling them.

Yeah, so you might as well just not tell them. Let them just live in blissful peace. That sounds like the next A24 movie. Let it happen. If it happens, I'll kill myself. Wait, what? If someone steals my movie idea. Girl, you just said it to literally a million people.

It's getting jaded. And then immediately after, I said, I will commit suicide. So then that person is going to go to jail. Rewinding back. I can't believe as a kid I thought suicide was illegal and that they would lock my body up. I literally thought that. I told my mom when I was seven I wanted to kill myself. And she was like, you can't because it's illegal.

And that actually scared the fuck out of me i think everybody's parents told them that because i had the same yeah i think my parents told me that too yeah and then i was like oh my god they're still gonna find me if i do it looking at my hand and i don't recognize it what were you gonna say um i was just like rewinding back but me and kai went to the blade concert the drain gang concert um and i have to speak my piece on it it was the stinkiest concert i've ever been to like without a doubt like it was rancid there was like immediate like 10 degrees hotter body heat like a must the air was like heavy and like every third person that you interacted with had like stinky body odor but it was beautiful and like not so much fun yeah not because drain gang was performing

like yeah that was beautiful but it was beautiful because it was literally just like all these like misfit freak weirdo losers myself included like all just having like so much fun at this concert. And it was just like, it was just like, so everybody was so happy. There was like, like Kai said it, like normally when you go to concert, there's like a hostile energy where like people are like trying to fight and like beat each other up and they're like really angry and they're aggressive. But like there was legitimately like none of that here. I was talking about the fight club that i go to but you go to fight club yeah oh shit yeah you fucked up okay wait what because now we have to dissolve fight club

fuck i've never seen the movie i don't get it the first rule is that you're not supposed to talk about now we have to kill you the first rule of fight club is that you have to have sex with everybody who joins fight club really yeah that's so sick i'm i didn't even know that well now but now you're according to drew you're done oh fuck and when drew says you're done you're done is he is he okay like what yeah he's just taking it he's decompressing he's just decompressing he'll be back yeah the blade concert smelled like expired poppers. Yeah, I was shouting the entire time. I was like, give me poppers, give me poppers. Where are the poppers?

And then I smelled poppers in my vicinity and I begged for them, but no one had them or would give them to me. But there are some people who recorded videos of me having fun, which I need to see. So if you have them, send them to me. Just post them on TikTok. Make me viral. Ew. Make me viral. Ew.

Make me viral. My favorite thing about that video is Kai looking directly in the camera when it pans back to him for a second. He looks directly into the camera and then looks away and keeps like moving around. yeah it was uh but it was a blast and i was honestly one of the stinky people like i i was stinky and i'm okay with that y'all were definitely adding to the odor because when y'all came back y'all all of y'all smelled like you had been outside playing with a dog on a hot day. I love that smell. I wonder if we got piss on us because I smelled my jeans and they just smelled like piss. Well, I had my cock out and I was spraying piss everywhere.

Oh, yeah. I remember that, actually. Yeah, that's like, do you not remember when Echo said, pull your cocks out and pee on everybody? And piss all over everybody. You remember that. I don't know why I just forgot about that until now. It was called the golden piss shower. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. It's like the beer shower at LJT Larry Joe Taylor Festival, but with piss. And you just unzip your pants and pee everywhere. I got paparazzi'd at the Clara concert. Should we insert the video? No! Insert the video. I'm laughing in the dark.

We're not in trouble. I'm laughing in the dark. You have a temper. I get a sting. You're not so greedy. What do you mean? When I need you to stress you. I just, it's hard to go outside now because everywhere I go, I'm filmed and I can't enjoy myself without cameras being on me. No, I, I think we should go back to paparazzi era.

I think I've said that before. Yeah, but paparazzi is just different now. Paparazzi is like fucking, it's like people calling it on themselves that it's so embarrassing. Because like, I don't know, I'm mixed. Because I love paparazzi because like, of course, it's good entertainment.

But like, you saw what it did to people mentally. So it's not good. I want to be one of them so bad. I think that there's fake paparazzi now. Because I'm like you bitches could never have like lived in the early 2000s being like famous because y'all call the paparazzi on yourself when you look all like polished i feel like everything is in slow motion right now i'm serious because you're passing away hopefully we can only hope for that what i'm gonna start a makeup

company and it's gonna be called enyas beauty like enyas beauty but enyas yeah is that good that's really good you're so smart and cool in in gorged penis beauty and like a shout out how it's gonna be like butthole you probably have a very small wiener. Kai, do I have a small wiener? Y'all are so... I've been in the car with Kai and Drew and they have seriously, like not in a choking way, talked to each other about measuring their fucking wieners. Every guy does it. And then texting each other in detail about like just send each other a dick pic or just show your dick.

The thing is, you use your iPhone to measure. Every guy knows you use your iPhone to measure and then you Google. What is the length of an iPhone on Google? That's like the rule. So I'm like two, two and a half iPhones. You're two and a half iPhones? When did you ever have three iPhones to measure? See how there's a hole in your story?

There's a hole in my ass. And I'm going to use it. What the fuck? Oh, my God. I literally am like actually passing away. None of this is real. Actually, I'm like I'm starting to like catch on. Like I'm starting to actually catch on that none of this is real actually i'm like i'm starting to like catch on like i'm starting to actually catch on that none of this is real now that's actually how i feel too but i think

it's because i just ate my fungus yogurt and it's like deteriorating my brain i think like we this is all like y'all are against me no actually can i say something when i was watching you talk and i thought about what we're doing right now and then i was like oh my god this is like a video that goes out to people and then gets received by other people and actually just freaked me out while i was watching you talk for a second and there was one point where y'all started like joking about pissing and it was i like fully detached and i was like oh my god like that camera is literally recording us right now and we're going to put that to the public and there are people there are six bucks who love it and like then we're just gonna do this again and we're going to put that to the public and that there are people there are six bucks who love it and like then we're just gonna do this again and we're gonna keep doing it forever until we die

no it's literally so scary but that's why i'm saying like i have to be at peace with it i have to say it's not real that i'm like this is just like another form of torture and i'm in hell it's not real and we buy all of our views so they're not not real either. It's AI. It's AI. I am going to start buying views. Drew is saying that he's just going to start buying views. And scamming and scamming brands and their brand deals. It's a genius method and someone should try it. The thing is, like, you're saying it's a genius method. Like, multiple people don't try it and it doesn't work.

Like, it won't work. I guess, I guess, I don't know any influencer who,'t work like it won't work i guess i guess i don't know any influencer who like has interactions already like engagement and then does it because then i feel like it'll be believable if you like bought likes because you would still get like a decent amount of comments that's what i'm saying but like it's like no you don't buy likes you buy youtube views so you say you get a brand deal and this brand deal pays a certain amount we're never getting 20 we're never getting a brand deal let's put 20 okay yeah shut up um i was like so if we were going to pretend have you ever told that story no i've never told that story once what's the story i got banned from universal like i'm I'm literally banned. You can't go? No, I think you can now. I can't go to the one in Florida.

No, it was a year. Oh, wait, really? Yeah. What happened? It was crazy. It was not that crazy. It was just embarrassing. It was crazy.

It was one of the saddest nights of Drew's life. It was at that convention called Playlist. If you know what Playlist is, it's like a YouTuber convention, social media convention, where we all get together and we're stolen from and taken advantage of and then thrown into these rooms to get really fucking drunk together and it's really scary um but one of the nights this very special night it's like the last night of the convention every every convention there's one night where they buy or rent out the entirety of Universal Studios in Florida. And it's just like the creators and like a few managers and like a few people who work at the convention. Like it's like literally like 200 people in the entirety of Universal.

And they rent it out and shut it down. And it's like a fucking blast um but we are literally delinquents and we were like let's get like fucked up before we go and we were what were we like 16 17 um we were like let's get absolutely like 17 and 18 yeah we were like let's get absolutely blasted and then go and we like drank a little before and then they had given us like a playlist had given us these like pouches that were plastic that like you could put water in. And we filled them with alcohol. We filled them with like fucking like pineapple syrup. Yeah, just like a bunch of like alcohol.

Did you and Madeline each have one as well? I don't think Madeline had one. I had one andeline had one i had one and you had one yeah so we we get on the bus and it like shuttles us over and like i'm not thinking about it at all at all because i'm literally like drunk as bones and we pull up and i was like there's no way they're gonna be checking for this shit but like lo and behold there's like metal detectors and like scanners and everything still and i'm like oh my god we just thought no one would look like look twice because they gave them out to everybody

so there were other people with these pouches yeah so like inya kept hers on her loot like her belt loop and i took mine off and to put it on the outside of the scanner and it was full of alcohol and like the dude was like what's in this and i was like oh just water and then no you said you said because it was like a no no i have this story yeah i have this story he was like just water huh and he opened it and smelled it and i was like yeah it's like raspberry water and he was like oh okay yeah that's what this is and then another fool came up and it was like fucking cunt yeah this other fool came up and was like fucking cunt. Yeah. This other fool came up and was like that. Let me smell because that's not just water. And he or she opened it up and smell it.

She was like, this is alcohol. What are you like? Are you like actually insane? Like this is a children's park. Like, why would you try to sneak that in here? Her calling it a children's park when only. Yeah. First of all, it's universal.

Second of all, the only people offloading off of these buses are like 17 to like 27 year olds like of course like a 17 year old i'm like a kid but like i'm not like a jit like i'm not like fucking five yeah um so india and madeline get through the scanners and they like pull me off to the side and they're like um like literally interrogating me and i tell indian madeline like why don't y'all just like go to the park and like also like just go have fun because like yeah i don't want to like ruin this for everybody else because i got caught like go have fun so they go off oh so no we were like standing around forever just watching and i was starting to panic because i had this fucking pouch full of vodka on my side and i was like oh my god they're gonna come they're gonna like come to me they're gonna see that i have it so i run into the bathroom at the entrance and i just go into a stall and i like fucking squeeze this capri sun ass pouch like down my gullet and i just like

down all the alcohol that i had with me and i threw it away and i went out to madeline and drew kept being like go just leave just leave and like then he was like they're gonna take me inside just leave so we were like fuck so we're like i guess we're just gonna like go through the park yeah and i was like please just go have fun because it like it is fucking awesome because you just walk up you don't wait in any other lines you just walk up to the rides they like we should go back to playlist for this i know that's what i'm thinking like that night is fucking lit it's like actually so much fun well tell me why they take me back into this like really fucking scary tiny office like smaller than like the podcast set like it's tiny and

there's like pictures all over the walls and like all this like it feels like i'm in like the set of like guardians of the galaxy like there's like computers and like beeping and like walkie-talkies and lights no exactly it's like the scariest like most hostile room i've ever been in my entire life and then there's just like this blank white wall and they're like stand in front of the wall and look at me and they take out an iphone and take a photo of me and i'm like what the fuck like okay and then they're like oh like this is because you're getting banned from the park and i was like really you're banning me and i didn't really want to question it too much because i was like they're like we can call the cops right now if you want

me to and i was like no like they were like the cops are right out there we'll bring them in and i was like no like just ban me and we'll get on with this. And then they, like, ran through, like, the banning shit. And they were like. Me when I'm, like, bored as shit and take my job away. No, I'm like, literally, like, shut the fuck up, loser freaks. Me protecting Mr. Universal. Exactly. Exactly.

And then they were like, we can even, like, arrest you. Like, if you come to this park and we scan your ID. We'll fucking shoot you. No, we'll arrest you on sight. Like, even if we, like, find you in the parking lot sitting in the car, we'll arrest you on sight. That's the most Florida shit ever. I was like, I literally don't live here. Like, whatever.

Let's just, like, move on. So they made me sign all these papers. Sorry, I live 2,000 miles away from here. No, exactly. And so I signed all these papers saying that I wouldn't, like, enter the premises. And then, like, then like they like guided me back to the shuttle and i had to just sit on this shuttle for like 15 minutes and then i shuttled back literally alone to the thing and then also it's like not a shuttle it's literally a big like

greyhound bus yeah it's a giant bus like a giant bus and i was the only one on it and they drove me all the way back and i didn't say a word to the driver because i was like so like embarrassed and pissed tell me why we were leaving the next day and i lost my fucking wallet with everything in it my ids like all my cash on my cards like it was so fucked up and i i called them the next day and i was like hey i like got caught for having alcohol like can i have my wallet back and they're like we don't have that like and i was like you literally do like i y'all checked my wallet and my id for like my name and like that was the last place i had it y'all have it and they just denied denied denied um so not only did i get banned from universal they stole my wallet um that's so annoying didn't i go back to

the hotel and then just for some reason we rods? Yeah, we went down to the pond Where did we get fishing rods we bought them from Walmart Me and like taking their job that seriously. That's so fucking annoying. No, it was it was It was really cursed and I was like I'm like a child like having fun like I'm not hurting anybody like it's it's gonna be Fine, like I'm not gonna vomit all over the place i've drank before but like yeah they like threatened to ban and i was like also on like the night that it shut down like i know it's not even like there's other people in there it's like it'd be different also it's just so stupid it'd be different if like i understand the idea of not being able to bring like gummy edibles into like disney and

shit like that i understand because i'm like oh god forbid this falls out of my pocket and a kid fucking sees it they're gonna be like gummy and then be high as balls but i'm like bitch it's closed and this is a pouch on my fucking thigh also that's why they gave those pouches to you they they knew what they were doing exactly teenagers plastic pouches i know yeah here i go filling it with water so i just say hydrated sure yeah but uh part of it i feel like is like they need to make money off alcohol sales and like the second part is like i did literally break the law like i was like drinking on their premise like i had alcohol i was a minor so she's a fucking they would be like liable for it but like throwing it out but like

interrogating yeah it should have just been like come on man like do better like throw it out move on true detective set no they like do that at tsa they're like are you fucking stupid like no you're not bringing this into tech you're not bringing this weed into texas and you just fucking throw it out but don't say that i told you that because like they'll probably arrest you wait have you gotten your shit stopped in texas no i just know people have and they're just like are you actually stupid like that's the funniest like visitor in la about to leave experience is them panicking about bringing weed back can i bring it back i don't want to like i'm just like you're literally fine yeah i'm like put it in your check-in and shut up. Like, you will be good, hopefully.

I think about stuff like that all the time where it's like, in my past, I got in trouble and now I think about it and it's like, it was just an adult having a power trip. 100%. Like, my hometown supermarket, I would, like, go in and steal gummy worms from the, like, you know, those, like, bulk item things. I would take, like, two gummy worms. Kai like, you know, those like bulk item things. I would take like two gummy worms. Kai, that's actually fucked up. Yeah, I know.

You stole from a small business. And you do it, what, two times a day? No, not twice a day. Kai, you said you take gummy worms from them two times a day. No. No. I probably stole like a total of like 15 cents worth of these gummy worms. Okay.

Yeah. And then one day I walk out and a guy like puts his hand on my shoulder. He goes, I got you. And I was like, what? He's like, I know what you do. You come in here and you snack on these little gummy worms. And I was like. Me trying to sound like an absolute like G talking about like you taking gum he was like he was like all

right so here's what's gonna happen gummy worms i'm gonna call the police on you and you're gonna go to jail and i was like what the fuck is going on 12 years old i was i was freaked out yeah i was i think i was like 15 but i was still like this is that in the shot i don't know yeah it's been in the shop the whole time it's okay i'll crop it i don't have my glasses on so i'll use a content aware yes but anyway i was just like fuck i am old enough to know that i'm not going to jail but i am young enough to be freaked the fuck out and just be like what like why am i going to prison i these are like these are worth nothing yeah when i got caught stealing like six hundred dollars worth of stuff from sephora i was like what is the big deal like let me go yeah when i got caught stealing a car and driving it into

yeah like what's the big deal like there's so there's literally so many cars yeah i'm like y'all can just get another one it's like a rolls royce like you have money you know i know you have money like i'm like doing nothing to you wow you're a millionaire and you're not gonna give me your rolls royce for free it's actually fucked up like i was like are you really gonna arrest me right now literally fuck blue lives oh my god um pop what was i gonna say um yeah but a bunch of shit from childhood is power trips i had teachers who were fucking insane like they're of course in this same sentence of course kudos to teachers it's such a like insane job like when you really start to think about it like to take

care to babysit daycare and then also teach them it's like that is so much it's so insane and their salaries are literally like nothing it's like the meanest shit you could do so fucking belligerent um so it makes sense that so many of my teachers were fucking crazy with me because like i would be too like i would be abusive i would hit people i would hit my students if i was a teacher if i was a teacher of myself when i younger, I would stop the fuck out of the back of my head because I definitely deserved it. I was so annoying. But I had teachers who were so fucking mean to me.

In fifth grade, I had this teacher. Her name was Miss Hollywood. And her tagline- Oh, you've told this. On the podcast. Yeah. I'm just going to repeat it because I'm already going into it. So if you've heard it, whatever.

Act like you haven't heard it. But her whole catchphrase was the devil is a lie. And she would just yell at us. And if she felt like we were lying, she would say the devil is a lie. And then just yell at us. That's some shit Josiah just shouts now. Like the devil is a lie. You're going to die soon.

Like actually you're going to die soon. I am. No. No. I think it's coming soon for me i can feel it like i say that like i'm on the precipice like life is just so fucking good like all of my worst nightmares have already come true like the shit that i would lay awake in bed before i fell asleep all of them came true all in the same year the one last thing to happen to me is me passing away because i i know

i'm gonna die before my parents and everybody else in my family because i literally like can't well almost everybody in my family because my brother died no he didn't like the thing is i'm done i'm done with him coming on here and lying because he did it fuck oh basically anyway one time in fifth grade when i was crying, she yelled at me. I was like 10. And she said, why the fuck are you so sensitive? And she yelled at me. And she was like, stop crying.

Stop. And then I never cried in school again because it actually scared the shit out of me. And I was so embarrassed. Yeah. Oh, wait. There's this crazy story that doesn't have to do with a teacher. Yeah. I'll shut the fuck up.

I'll just go fuck myself. We can talk later maybe maybe when the oh when the camera's off you can go on and on and on okay so i've been meaning i've written this in my podcast notes for literally 20 episodes but every time i just like forget what the fuck yeah what i'm done too. Please don't leave. Please don't leave. Okay. I guess I'm just going to do this episode, the rest alone. And yeah, this will be cool. Get the fuck away from me.

I'm going to fucking kill you. Oh, Jesus. Die soon. Motherfucker. You stupid bitch. Get the fuck away from me. I'm'm done I'm actually up with all your bullshit bitch I'm better than you you fucking copied me

I walked out and you had to walk out too yeah my brother died no he didn't you keep calling me a liar you fucking liar sorry I love you so much I was really overwhelmed

because of my love for Drew we did go have sex but it was really quick I mean y'all probably heard it I can't do this anymore this is so crazy I can't do this anymore that's literally Kai every time he talks

um but yeah what were you saying you've been being insane on the podcast i've like had this like loaded up for like 20 episodes and every time i like get to the topic i'm like i probably shouldn't air this person out but i've thought about it for literally 20 weeks and i'm like no they deserve to be aired out because this is fucking insane so in like i guess it was like fifth grade because we were at oak woods um which is like a intermediate school so we had like k through third grade fourth and fifth grade at one school sixth seventh and eighth grade at another school then ninth grade at its own school and then high school 10 11 12 at the high school it was fucking insane i went when i'm bored of shit making buildings yeah no they just had to like fill and occupy the

buildings it was like actually fucking crazy but it was definitely an intermediate school um and there's this girl who was upset like scarily obsessed with me like it was like not okay how obsessed with me she was like Like, literally freaked out. And at the time, like, what? You freak bitch. She's mouthing the word liar. Her name. Okay, I'm going to say her name.

Me lying and, like, no, there were so many people who were obsessed with me at school. Like, so many. No, like, there actually were. It was kind of crazy. No, I heard that too. Because it's, like, pivotal to the story. But her name was literally... If that's not the killer's name that I've ever heard.

Yeah, that's the killer's name. But basically, there was this other girl who was also very obsessed with me. Her name was Chloe. And I was obsessed with her. We had this little thing, like fifth grade. Did y'all fuck? No, we didn't fuck. um her name was chloe but and i and i like was obsessed with her like we like had like this little thing like fifth grade oh did y'all fuck we never no we didn't fuck her in fifth grade oh okay prude prude i thought this guy was a slut oh prude um but yeah i didn't know how to spell her name so i didn't know i never wrote her letters you didn't know how to write chloe it

was i would spell it chole like one time i wrote her like this love letter and I spelled her name Chole. Okay, me can't. You couldn't spell in fifth grade? Yeah. So you weren't fucking and you couldn't spell. Wow. Loser. No, it was fucked up.

And then this girl, Chole, wrote me a letter. And she wrote me a letter and it was the lyrics to the Taylor Swift song that's like, true looks at me. And she wrote every word to the song down and gave it to me. This is a girl that I was obsessed with and I was like, this is like the coolest moment of my life. Like I'm like literally like so straight right now. Like this is crazy.

I'm like, I'm passing. And then Athena saw her pass the note to me and grabbed the note and read it and got so fucking angry that she like pushed at recess. She grabbed this like girl. She was a tiny girl and pushed her up against a tree with her forearm and like literally started choking her out because she was like, that's mine. Drew is mine. And like, it was so fucking scary.

And she like, I'm not joking. Like she would have actually killed for me. She was just like i'm not joking like she would have actually killed for me she was just like literally the killer um and she would have killed over me and i don't know there's so much more shit like she had like a razor blade on her and shit um and threatened people with it but she never she never got um kicked out but the kid who literally like threatened to stab me and then had a fucking 14 inch blade got kicked out I don't know I'm curious there's some sexism there towards men

oh that wait is that actually the moral of your story yeah like girls get have nice and don't get kicked out but guys who have nice get kicked out like that doesn't make sense okay yeah i guess see

sexism towards men does exist it's real yeah like women are like psychos girls are fucking crazy no i'm a boy's girl girls are crazy girls on their periods and yeah you're pretty cool yeah you're yeah that's what a lot of people do tell me that that I'm a boy, but I'm a girl. You can hang with the boys for sure. No, I can hang with the boys. I play Fortnite. I drink beer. I touch my member in inappropriate spaces all the time.

It's normal in our group too. When I see a girl, my eyes pop out of my head and I start stomping around. Yes, yes. Okay, yeah. um when i see a girl my eyes pop out of my head and i start stomping around yes yes okay yeah and girls just couldn't get this because girls are so stupid we just have like locker room talk where we talk about slaying and macking on some box eating a hole out um slaying puss. Yeah, we just talked about, like, slaying pussy and, like, serving, like, cock. Serving cock. I'm serving cock to that slay pussy right now. What? In my boots.

No. Under the house. Okay, witch of the wicked, the wicked witch of the west. Okay, witch of the wicked. The wickedly talented Ade which of the wicked the wickedly talented adele de zine the wickedly talented like that's what makes it so funny is his delivery his delivery on wickedly because it could have just said yeah the wickedly talented adele delzine fucked up her name but he goes the wickedly talented like his head like shifted please welcome the wickedly talented. Like, his head, like, shifted. Please welcome the wickedly talented, one and only Adele Dazin.

Should I bring this up, or is it too soon? Give it a minute. We have to see where the series goes. We need a little more juice. We need a little more juice to that beef stew. Okay, so I was a little toxic. That's all I'll say. Not even toxic.

I was just, I'm playing games. Like, I'm done not playing games. There's nothing wrong with the little games being played. Yeah, I was like, who's it gonna hurt?

So I'm playing love games. Let me play a love game. Oh, I'm getting another call because everybody wants to call me literally at the same fucking time. Do you guys mind that I'm sexting

someone right now? Hello? Don't do that. Do you guys want me to read it? You're on the podcast, Madeline. What? You're on the podcast. Oh, shoot.

Sorry. I did not know you were filming that. No, you're good. What's up? I was just going to ask if you wanted to play Fortnite. Oh, coming soon. Coming soon. Yes.

Yes. Absolutely. Okay. Well, just let me know when you're done see that's my twin sister right there yes sir yeah all right love you i love you bye she's such a fucking bitch no it's funny how i didn't god did you hear the way she was just talking to me it's funny how i didn't get invited to play fortnite yeah i didn't get invited either you're so obsessed nerd dweebs both of you uh-huh freak nerd dweebs that like want to be a part of me i'm athletic and i'm chill me and kai have been butting heads recently no we haven't drew's

just been saying that i'm gonna start being confrontational i think you need to get beat up me yes yeah yeah i know i actually agree i want bruises that i think you need to get beat up. Me? Yeah. I actually agree. I want bruises that I can press. I've been beat up. I want bruises I can press that feel good. Because I have a tumor in my lower back. Everyone needs to get beat up once. I don't need to. Am I the only one who misses

violence? Like where's all the violence? Where's the news and the media? No one heard me but I have a tumor in my lower back. I'm kidding by the way. my god oh sue me put me in jail oh my god oh my god you can't oh my god i have a tumor in my lower back you are stealing my bit because i've talked about my tumor in my lower back that josh's dad called fat he just said oh he's like yeah that's kind of like a tumor, but it must be benign. It's probably just fat. Yeah. Well, I have like a literal tumor right here. Drew was like, I have a tumor and then had me press into his back muscle.

And then he's just trying to trick people into massaging his back. Like, that's what I'm convinced it is. Well, it does give me a boner. He's like, you have to dig really deep to find it. Oh. I'm going to dig deep. I'm going to dig deep in your little fucking ass. I'm going to deep. I'm going to dig deep in your little fucking ass. I'm going to dig deep in your little fucking stinky hole.

Stupid bitch, I'd be you to it, you fucking idiot. Your rotten, stinky, bitchy hole. Oh. Hey! Oh, damn. Keep going. They had REI at Reformation Vintage today and it had me cracking up. That's actually hilarious.

Were the pieces good or no? No, it was just like a random pair of pants. It was just like this kind of pair of pants. Oh, nice. Nice, nice, nice. Yeah, well, we have Coachella tomorrow. We're leaving for Coachella. By the time this is up, we will be in our coachella day one outfits yeah kai already leaked mine on his story fucking idiot

no you're the worst assistant i'm a fucking idiot kai's our assistant at one where he's not on this i'm your friend i am your friend i literally love you kai this is serious i love you so much you're gay oh my thank you okay i see now now i fuck with you you're not my assistant you're a little more than that maybe okay cool sometimes drew i'm so sorry by the way oh nope i take it back no i drew actually meant it and you know we're homies yeah see how he picks me over you i fucking hate this guy future is female babies actually freak me the fuck out yeah i'm like not kidding orion pointed it out at disney and i was like dude i was just thinking this the other day because when i went to the rose bowl i saw this like little kid in

what was just an adult outfit made for small people and it freaked me the fuck out because like kids proportions are just adults but actually shrunken down it's like when you shrink down a photo correctly and you take it from the upper right corner and like take it down that's just what a baby is that's primordial dwarfism is what you're describing um no i'm describing uh the growth of a human being um but it actually freaks me out and i don't like it i really don't like it uh no babies freak me the fuck out too but i want one really no i'm just about to say but i kind of want one like they sound fun yeah they like they're really cute they sound fun in theory until they like i feel like kids when they're infants are awful because they cry and just shit and you're

just like oh my god i made this thing but like at what cost because it's annoying and then when it like starts to round out and get a little cute it's like okay this was fun like i can take pictures of this thing now because it doesn't look like terrifying are you gonna make an instagram account for your baby hell no my baby will not see the light of day no y'all won't if i had a baby y'all would never one y'all would never know i don't even think y'all would know if I had a child. Okay, grow up. Yes, we would. No, I'd hide it from everybody.

That's good because I don't want you in my life that long anyway. Oh my God. Why? I'm just saying. Like, oh, I can't be truthful? This isn't a space for me to be truthful. You should be honest for sure. You know, I like lies.

I like lies. Ew, stop picking at your chair. You're like looking at it, like scratching at it like a scab. I'm looking for the good bits to drop into this little hole up here. Azul eats those bits that you drop on the floor. No, I'm not dropping them on the floor. I'm dropping them in the hole. I don't drop bits on the floor.

But, yeah, I would not post my baby. Like, I don't, if I am at all important to the public by the time I have a kid, which I don't think will happen. Because what? That's like seven years away from me. What? I'm going to be doing this. Like, y'all probably. I'll be dead when I have a baby.

Yeah, probably. But by the time I have a baby, like, literally, I don't want anybody to know. I want to be one of those people who's like, oh, my God. So-and-so has a baby. I did not know that. Because I also don't plan on taking it out out it's an at-home kind of hobby my baby personally i'm gonna have a baby indoor baby yeah i don't i don't want it out what i'm gonna have a baby and kill it that's fun why i want to eat its bones

i want chicken wings so bad you know what's fucked up when you said that i was like damn chicken wings do sound good yeah they kind of do dude that turkey fucking leg from disney world was rancid that was the most animalistic i felt in my whole life it was scaring me i was like oh my god we literally are just like monkeys dude the whole time i was in disney world i was like i was just looking around at everybody and i was like oh my god we're just like evolved primates like so bored that we had to build a fake place to go to to go to to like have fun it was greening me the fuck out and then we sat on the bench and ate literally like meat on the bone and i was like a big ass piece i was eating one with orion and at one point we

were just dead silent like like like carving away at this bone because we were so hungry and i i was like oh fuck i had this crazy like primitive flashback to just being like an animal like fighting it was so scary i like i took a bite i had to peel the skin back because seeing the skin was like actually rancid to me. I was like, this is too much. The thing is the skin is the best part about chicken and turkey. The skin is so good. I was like, this is too much.

So I peeled it back and then I saw like all those like striations and veins and like almost like deep blue colors and like all the nasty little tendons and bits. And I was like, i don't know but i was so hungry that i was like i literally have to eat this like or i will die and my relationship with food will be the good news is instead of me instead of putting like um like an animal in your body you did turn to like a more vegetarian leaning option and you ate a whole bag of hot cheetos yeah i took like three bites of my turkey wing and i ate a bag of hot cheetos i gave it away i was like you walked up to me like a baby and you like so earnestly handed it to me and you're like i don't want this and i was like i don't want it but it's like please take this

fucking meat you had like fear in your eyes i know dude it was it actually fucked me up i looked at it and i was like this is too much like all the oils and like guts coming out of this is like it's rancid i was like i can't do this so i gave it away i pawned it off and ate my bag of cheetos and i'm going back to eating red you say that every episode did you did you do blue already no he never tapped into the blue you're you're red at heart i can't wait like politically something scary happened to me in red light i'm scared of no i'm no i don't mean like i mean you're red at heart I can't wait for you something scary happened to me in red light I'm scared of red light I mean you're red at heart like politically

you're a red kind of girl oh red looks good on you I can't wait for your green week and then you'll actually eat fucking vegetables Drew does not consume vegetables do not lie on my name cauliflower doused in like buffalo sauce does not count i ate was um for one of the meals with my parents while they were here all i ate was

just literally wilted spinach i was like i need to eat something green so i ate like an entire plate old spinach my god it loses nutrients when it's old. I'm sorry. I'm just being honest. Y'all are so toxic for me. I just like can't win. I'm constantly attacked. I'm constantly berated. I'm constantly questioned. My reality is fake.

I'm always lying. What else is there? Let's add it to the list. Your hair looks really good. Thank you. You are like belligerently insane no i feel insane like i'm i haven't gotten over the fact that like y'all aren't actually real and this is all just like i'm stuck in purgatory because this isn't like hell like i'm not stuck in hell because this isn't bad but it's very

neutral what's the happiest you've ever been i don't know i literally i genuinely don't know i don't know right here with you is that what you want me to say no when i'm with you i'm like at my lowest i'm like i'm like the closest to like hell i think i could get wow wow fair honestly wow wow oh wow no honestly fair when's the happiest

you've been when you got your when I got 11 kills in fortnite I'm not kidding actually okay I haven't spoken

about this because it literally happened in the span of the past week I started playing fortnite and I had never really played it other than like maybe one time at 13 or 4. You made fun of me profusely for playing it. No, I made fun of you for Call of Duty and I still will make fun of that. But I just never played it because like that building shit is too fucking much.

Like you're asking me to kill bitches and build stuff. Like no, what is this real life? Like I'm not doing it. But I started playing. Why did I even play? bitches and build stuff like no what is this real life like i'm not doing it um but i started playing why did i even play i think um you were your friend wanted to play it oh yeah so we had friends who wanted to play and i just saw them playing and i was like i want to play like i don't know like i've just never played if they think it's cool it's cool but if i think it's cool i just felt

left out because then like the whole friend group started talking about fortnite and i was like bitch i don't fucking play this game like i want to be a part of something so i played around and then i was like decent at it and i was like oh also if i'm decent at anything i'm a big fan of it like if i'm like good immediately and it doesn't take any building. You're, like, addicted. I'm addicted to it because it's, like, instant gratification for my little monkey brain. I'm addicted and I just can't get enough. So then I.

Like, I literally think about it every night and day. Boy, I think about it every night and day. I'm addicted and I just can't get enough. I just can't get enough i just can't get enough fortnight bay um but yeah i've just been playing it literally every single day and it's actually really bad i play like for two hours anywhere from two to three hours straight um but now you get it you're like oh like this time i would probably be spending on my iphone like at least I'm playing a video game and killing people. That is not how I feel.

How I feel is, oh, my God, like, no matter what I'm doing, I'm looking at a screen. You said it once. It was, like, the idea that we can even get away from our screens is so stupid because, like, people were, like, like, when I deleted TikTok, and I was, like, yeah, like, I'm just, like, consuming less. Yeah, no more TikTok.

I'm bitch. Now I'm just watching bitches in movies. Like, I'm still watching bitches. It just depends on what. It's crazy how much screens are in our life like there's one two three four five six screens in this room in this room yeah six screens and i'm looking at one when i run away don't fucking say anything i'm looking at one right now yeah no when me and in your run away we'll probably go our separate ways but we'll run away just like act like nothing happened maybe like download um some episodes and start an ai bot of us doing emergency intercom so it looks like we didn't run away we'll just have like a prolonged tip jar yeah on a website and y'all can tip us but we'll have a separated tip jar so that becomes

competition and it like separates me and drew yeah Yeah. And we could like run away. Yeah. Oh my God. That sounds so fucking good to just like not exist. Like if I could literally just like just not exist, not like like die, but just like cease to exist for like a year. Like like pause the world for a year. I always say that. But then when I'm like in the house

doing nothing for two days in a row i'm like all right all right let's let's let's get out of here no no i'm you know it's real for me because i can sit in the house i have sat in the house and literally not leave for two weeks like that's the craziest vibe well so it's very real for me well now you have to because the world is ending and that's why we can end this episode the world is ending so make sure you watch all of our episodes you don't have much time it's very real for me. Well, now you have to because the world is ending. And that's why we can end this episode. The world is ending, so make sure you watch all of our episodes. You don't have much time. It's come full circle. It's come full circle.

I've always been like something big is coming. The world is ending. And now you're saying it with me. And you used to make fun of me for it. No, I wasn't. No, no, no, no, no, no. I love you guys. Thank you for watching.

And you think the world is ending and you're so there's anything something big is coming she said i didn't say something big is coming she just said it right there something big is coming bitch love you guys let's do a media i like the thing is when you do shit like that to me i actually want to hit you so bad just one of these days just hit me like just please hit me hit me that fucking audio you know what I'm thinking about. Also, wait. Before we end, this is a really important note. I guess I felt the need to write down to mention the podcast. Sometimes when I'm pooping, it feels like it's going up my spine.

Sometimes when I'm pooping, I like poop the log out and then I suck it back in. And then poop it out? I keep doing it over and over again. Oh, I do that too. Yeah. It feels good. It hits my prostate. You guys are so fucking weird. I'm again. Oh, I do that too. Yeah. It feels good. It hits my prostate. You guys are so fucking weird.

I'm sorry. Oh, okay. Yeah, we're the weird ones. They're going to make that into an A24 milm. Milm? Putting the poop back in? Wait, what's a milm? It's like a movie.

It's like a movie film. Movie film. Oh, wait. This is something. This is the craziest vibe I ever saw in my life on TikTok. The craziest vibe I've ever seen. Someone was literally watching my YouTube videos with their therapist. Oh, I saw that.

They were watching my YouTube videos with their therapist. And I was like, wait, this is so sick. I was like, that makes me want to get a therapist just to hang out and watch me on the youtube screen that sounds like okay you're a fucking narcissist yeah that does sound like a vibe and then they also posted one of them playing like a card game with their therapist and them watching emergency intercom and i was like maybe stop watching us if you want to get better i know it doesn't seem like we're helping no no no no no but i was like that is such a vibe and i love that so much um but yeah there's like a few videos that i saw

recently of myself on tiktok that i was like damn i like am so sick um there's just been a lot of content on me recently on there like the truth is actually spreading yeah like the truth is spreading like you want the truth but you can't fucking handle the truth but the truth is spreading like you want the truth but you can't fucking handle the truth but the truth is spreading so you're gonna have to learn to cope you know what i'm saying i do yeah you're so fucking drudism is spreading can i just say something really quick yeah oh my god what the fuck do you mean to say drew you're so fucking sick dude thank you kai i want to say this too like from the of my heart, we can even like cut it out of the video. But I love you.

I love you too. And you're like so sick. This feels so cool. Are you only saying that to him because he said something nice to you? No, I don't think so. No, I know my friend really well. I think that's what's happening. I think you're being tricked into giving him compliments.

Wait, let me try something. Let me try something. Look at him. He's doing his, he's passing away. Wait, I'm going to try something. When Drew gets caught in a lie, he passes out. I'm going to try something. When Drew gets caught in a lie, he passes out. I'm going to try something. Drew.

Yeah. You fucking suck. Oh. He's just rebooting. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. Why would you slap him on the bare ass like that?

How did you get your pants down that fucking fast? He's got a big, stinky butt. It's hard for me to miss it came up really fast that's what i was pulling my pants down in 0.01 seconds jumping to my face height yeah okay media of the week i saw sonic Sonic 2. It was awesome. It made me fucking crack up. I think Sonic and Tails are gonna have sex soon. Lit. And then for music, it's Aguas de Marco.

Marcho? I don't know. At least Regina and Antonio Carlos. I don't know his last name. And then for songs, I already started songs. Sorry, I'm like actually passing away. I'm not even i already started songs sorry i'm like actually passing away i'm not even fucking kidding right now i'm like actually fucking losing it only over you by fleawood mac which i've said before but i'm saying it again everybody's talking harry nielsen

everybody's talking to me i don't know what to say and then breakage by stereo lab oh yeah um okay my media of the week is 12 stout street by rx poppy and good god bless the child by billy holiday stars to the rainbow by young lean and tie boy digital. And. Oh my God. Dude, she hit her head really hard. I saw it. Okay. We can just keep going, I guess.

Yeah. Oh my. Did that kind of hurt? No, it actually felt really good. Oh, my God. I want you to lay on top of me tonight. I can lay on you right now. Everybody knows any idea.

Oh, no, I just said that one. Fondly eulogizing sleep by bedwetter is another good vibe. Like, put all your weight on me. No, because I'll sit on your wiener. No, just do it. Here. Let me readjust. I i'm gonna break your legs imagine my femur just snapped um you're shaking drew babe who's texting you that's just my text tone oh okay my pastor what what who no really who's texting you right now i'm healing my pastor is texting are you gonna answer it like what if someone needs help

so ran through. Each of those was a different person. I finished my show, The Good Place. It was good. It was like, no, it was like incredibly mid, but I did cry at the end because I was like, I am so attached to these characters. And like, it did make me really existential because I was like, oh my God,

like if there is a heaven or hell like heaven becomes hell at some point because like everything good is always happening all the time like infinity like the reason why life is so fun and good all the time is because there's murder no it's because there's like we have like a reason to live which is death like that's like an ultimate reason for life and Like there's none of that in like hell or have been Theoretically so like it freaked me the fuck out and I was like, oh my god Like even after we die, we're still gonna be alive and I was like, I don't want to be alive

Even after I die That's a good way to end the episode. All right. Thank you guys so much. I don't want to be alive. I don't want to die. So much of my life is happening. I didn't do my media.

So much of my life is happening. Thank you guys so much for watching. It's okay. We're not monetized anyway, but whatever the fuck you want. Oh, he's touching himself. All right. Bye guys. Bye.