Emergency Intercom - we're losing our minds

Episode Date: October 20, 2023

Drew and enya discuss their new favorite tv show, seeing Slowdive and high school bullies Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/emergency. Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, of Emergency Intercom. I'm Drew. I'm Enya.

And we're just here to have like a beautiful time. Spread misinformation as I do best. I know, that is your, that's your thing yeah my whole my whole shtick and bit is spreading misinformation um right well um what were we just talking about that i wanted to talk about naked attraction yes naked attraction so there is this show that we have been binging. Like, I think we might actually be the fastest completion time of this show ever. Like, when we're just sitting in the living room, like, and we have homies over, we're just be like, yo, have you heard of this show, Naked Attraction? It's like this old BBC show that, like like just gets naked and you see naked bodies on tv

and like everyone's like there's no fucking way but there are there is a show on hbo max where you can just see naked bodies but it's like normal to them because they have like they don't have like insecurities about their bodies and shit also the standards of like showing your body like i think the ideas of the naked body are like different in europe which is literally how it should be yeah um but like we have just been told to be afraid of our body and stay dressed and clothed at all times because capitalism they make money off of you if you clothe your body so that's why we should all get naked yes we should that's our big takeaway from this episode today if no matter what conversation comes up just know that what we

want is specifically women oh why not men actually i agree that show that show i am not kidding like i cannot stress enough when i'm eating and watching that show and it's all naked men on the board i literally lose my appetite like it's like really hard to watch and it's so gross it is literally so jarring and it actually like no it makes me sick like i was eating and i was so fucking hungry we came home and we started watching it with josh and i literally was like oh my god i was like eating my poke bowl and i had to put it in the fridge and eat like saltine crackers because eating like flavorful food while looking at those naked bodies like of those men was actually scaring me because like it ironically I feel the exact same way about the women I don't like I just don't it disgusts me to look at women. Is that because you just believe in like,

like the not sexualizing women's bodies and it feels like, yeah, okay. I knew it came from a feminist place. No, I will say though, like the, that show is really unironically good for like the male psyche. And that's where I'll leave that because like there's a bunch of like normal fucking looking penises on there and all you see in porn and

television and shit are like monster fucking giant hogs and then i'm saying that like i don't have a monster fucking hog between these i know because it's if anything you are the beauty standard and you're hurting your fellow peers. Exactly. I'm slinging me, bruh. I could say the same about the women, though. Because everybody on there is just your average person. And I'm like, okay, cool. I am not supposed to be shaped like literally an IMVU character.

My body is normal. I am fine. I am fine. i am fine i am fine well i think all women should have like really thick thighs giant butt big boobs and like a four inch waist like i think women dude i think if someone had a four inch waist they'd be like perished like they would be like like okay i'm just like really confused with your like standards or like do you love them or do you hate them i think they should be naked all the time okay okay i mean that didn't answer the question i guess but yeah that show is awesome um if you are not a child you should watch it yeah literally but it did like raise a lot of like people were like, get this shit off the airwaves. Like, what the fuck?

This is demonic. Like Americans were like, what the fuck is this? I mean, it's just like the vibe. I will say it does make sense for it to get flack because it is like at the end of the day, like it is crazy to just put naked people in front of you and be like, you're ugly. Your balls are gross. I don't like that. I don't like that. But OK, my one thing is they

always describe coochie as nice and tidy they're like that's clean and tidy like oh she's got a tidy little fanny like like i like that i like that it's neat and tidy and tucked away neat and tidy dude i know and i'm like first of all they said about every pussy that's on screen and i'm like ever call it a gash no this isn't that i think that's like is that misinformation is that misinformation i think i have heard that term dude actually some of the dudes on there like something i heard some of the dudes when they get kicked off they're like you know she's not my cup of tea but she's got a banging rack on that body.

So it is a shame, like I will say. And I'm just like, whoa! I fucking shag you in the backseat. There was one guy in season six. Every time Drew does that, I have like an out-of-body experience. I like dissociate. Ew. When you do that, you seem like you turn into a robot chicken like

like toy does that make sense i don't like kids do people still watch robot chicken i don't think robot chicken exists anymore i don't think so they're watching skibbity toilet yeah that's the robot chicken wait what is it you're so popular how does it go i'm gonna uh no it's uh smiling for the picture you're so pretty you're so popular bitch i don't know and don't even fucking ask me you're so rizzy there's like a w ohio version yeah yeah exactly uh you're so skinny you're so phantom tax okay um what does the ohio thing mean drew only in ohio i know you know only in ohio well it goes back a very very long time um and that's all i have to give to you my name is carmen winston my name is carmen winstead i'm 17 years old i'm very similar to you did i mention that i'm dead you're really good at it

I was really good I was trying to tell Drew that that's what he should be for Halloween because we've been discussing I know next week is the Halloween episode and we've been discussing what we are I already know what I am because I'm basic and I'm silly and it's gonna be cute I have a costume yeah we have a costume

for Drew but I think we should keep an open mind if something else comes up. But I was like, he should be Carmen Winston for Halloween. But the only picture of her is... Carmen Winston? Oh, Winstead? What's her name? Carmen Winstead.

But the only picture of her is a picture of a child who is definitely alive. And just like, it was back in like OG, before AI. Because now, if something like that happened, they could just be like, make dead girl, whatever. And like AI would make a new person. But it was back when people would just grab a random face and be like, bitch, that's fucking you. It's crazy. Like all of the creepypastas, I watched like a video of like the original photos of like

the creepypastas. Like, you know, like what is the smiling Jack one? What is his name? I don't know, but that's one of the... But basically, like, they're all just normal fucking pictures that look kind of beat that someone saw and then just edited the fuck out of. That's literally us with the golden bachelor, that girl. I was going to say, like, that's us with a certain someone

that we don't need to talk about. But yeah, literally, it was... Dude, the internet, early days of the internet like forum internet was so crazy like i want to go back take me back we have been on a crazy reality tv kick we never tap into reality tv and we just bitch oh my god i don't know if anybody actually took what we said and went and watched love is blind that like i could have watched 18 more hours of that shit like that was literally the best brain rot i've consumed in a very long time yeah it's just so drama filled

and messy boots and like the reunion episode was everything i wanted it to be there were some things that were left out that i was like i want clarity on that but it completely shifted my perspective on some people that i was like oh you're evil but no it like completely shifted my perspective on some people that I was like, oh, you're evil. But no, it like completely shifted. And I was like, no, I'm happy for you. Yeah, everyone. I'm like, you're relatively normal. But JP is the killer. JP is the killer. If you're watching, you know what we mean. But that motherfucker is the killer. Okay, but we can move on. He's wicked. But I want to talk about waterbeds um what were we doing like literally what was like i still have never touched or interacted with a waterbed and that was to me a sign of luxury two things one a waterbed the idea that somebody out there could afford a waterbed was a sign of luxury

two i realized that like this puts into perspective like my family situation but i had a homegirl whose god mom was like 24 and bought a brand new toyota corolla and i was like fuck if only we were that rich like i literally was like fuck i wish we could have a new toyota corolla and that car like it's like a 2010 toyota corolla in red that car was the like that was the sign of wealth to me that was that was silent what is it called like silent wealth yeah yeah that was silent wealth to me i was like damn like that's crazy um yeah well the only reason i brought it up was because i like had this like deep deep deep seated like memory in my brain of me interacting with a water bed when i was like four or five and i realized that my mama and granddad had a water bed for like

the first six years no that's what i'm saying they were like freaky as and then i just like went on a deep dive of water beds and like everyone who had them when they were younger were like it was literally the worst thing like i've ever slept on like literally imagine just sleeping on water and plastic and like so like think of an air mattress and like when you sleep on an air mattress mattress all night you sink into it a little bit it's the same idea with water beds except it's water and really fucking heavy. So you get trapped in this fucking divot in the waterbed. And they were like, it was impossible for me to get out sometimes. I would have to call for help to get out of my bed because I was inside of it. And then they were also filling it up was really terrifying because you can explode the waterbed or whatever.

But yeah, I remember playing. I remember I was not allowed to fucking touch that water bed. Like, I was not allowed anywhere near it because I was, like, a toddler. And I would just jump all over it. Are water beds expensive? I feel like, actually, now that I think about it, they should be cheap because it's literally a big plastic balloon. And you're filling it with the water. I think they were pretty expensive, like, at the time.

Because they were just, like, gimmicky. Yeah, exactly. Best leap of your life um but also imagine having doing like s on that like that's what i'm saying they're freaks they're they're moving with the motion of the ocean you know that kind of uh like they were literally like it's not the size but the motion of the ocean no one's ever said that to you because you've got that slinging meat hog hog water but yeah i remember playing on it one time and i literally like it was the same night that i chased my sister around with a knife after watching billy and mandy and um have i ever said that yeah yeah because then your grandparents were your grandpa was like you're never watching that

fucking show again it's evil yeah i mean it literally was like i was watching clips back of it it's like actually an evil show like there's like an evil demon rabbit that's like tough love have you ever heard of it and he just starts beating the shit like he looks really cute and then they'll do the zoom ins and he'll say something evil yeah and then wait that's so donnie darko yeah basically i've never seen donnie darko i've never seen donnie darko like i'm gonna watch it this week i think but i waso? Yeah, basically. I've never seen Donnie Darko. I've never seen Donnie Darko. You should tap in. I'm going to watch it this week, I think. But I was thinking about that.

I was like, I've never seen any James Duvall movie. And I saw him at the Slow Dive concert, and he was staring at me. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm going to act like I know who the fuck he is right now. Like, stop. We went to Slow Dive. And it was amazing. It was so good. Literally.

And you, like, got me tickets because there's a lot of herstory there basically when my brother died we went back to texas and you like came with me and we were driving up and down these streets like literally going like 120 miles per hour like literally so dangerous don't do that i'm not bragging it was literally basically yeah i was thinking about that the other day when i was getting ready i was, that's the kind of shit that like you look back on and you're like, that is so immature and like bad. I will say the roads were empty. It was like 3 a.m. Yeah, I mean it's butt fuck nowhere.

Butt fuck middle of nowhere, Texas. Like these roads like didn't, we did not see a single soul on it for like the hour and a half we were driving up and down this road. But there are two songs in particular that when those songs came on like I was like we listened to them over and over again and it's slow-mo and star roving and I literally still to this day cannot listen to those songs without just like sobbing my eyes out uncontrollably and at the concert I was literally like boohoo crying and I've never cried at a concert ever in my life and I was literally just so like, before I was like, I'm not even going to fucking cry.

Like I thought I was the week leading up, but like when we were getting there, I was like, oh, like I feel nothing right now. I'm not going to cry. And I still crowed. This episode is brought to you by Samsung Galaxy. Ever captured a great night video only for it to be ruined by that one noisy talker? With Audio Erase on the new Samsung Galaxy

S25 Ultra, you can reduce or remove unwanted noise and relive your favorite moments without the distractions. And that's not all. New Galaxy AI features like NowBrief will give you personalized insights based on your day schedule so that you're prepared no matter what. Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra now at Samsung.com..com i growed it was so good i love concerts so much like i'm i've been on a big like concert kick like i'm going to every concert i can find tickets to but fuck resellers because concert tickets are way too expensive right now it's actually fucking insane like even for smaller concerts like why is this ticket a hundred dollars i think we're literally like hitting the peak of it because like travis scott's tour like obviously bots bought all those tickets and everyone's like i'm not going to that shit like what and then last minute they're like

i'm gonna go but like the resellers bought too many so the ticket prices are so fucking low for his tour which is like crazy that's like travis scott i know it's also crazy for resale tickets to like an arena tour those are usually so expensive yeah but just buy the ticket if you're really wanting to go just buy the tickets an hour before the show it's literally a cheat code yeah i know that's what i like want to get on is like buying it right before but then what if they're sold out but that's like really rare that like there's not even one person reselling a ticket like come on um okay another person i want to talk about is susan fucking boyle that like name sounds familiar but i don't know if i know who susan boyle is she's the like it's like don't judge a book by its cover like underdog story on american idol where like

everyone was like oh i do remember susan boyle yeah everyone was like for the people who don't know she was like this girl on american idol or whatever one of those british got talent or whatever i don't fucking know um she was like not the most beautiful woman you've ever seen and everyone immediately clocked her for it and was just writing her off and just being like dicks about it. And then she got on there and sang her, put her whole fucking pussy into that song. Like Susan Boyle put her pussy into that fucking performance. Like she ate down and she won over Simon Cowell, who is melting in front of us. He is literally actively melting.

We need to study him. I haven't seen a picture of him for 10 years, I don't think. His lizard skin is melting off of his face. It's really, really scary. How old is he? I feel like he's been 50 for like 20 years. I think he's probably 65. But yeah, she ate down.

Bitch, my brain just did the thing where you glance at something and it replaces it. And I thought it said he was 94 years old. His skin is melting. No, he's 64. But. Whoa. Yeah, dude, that's what I'm saying. Like, something is seriously wrong with you to, like, look into that.

Oh, yeah, he looks amazing. But didn't she have, like, really gnarly... It was the X Factor. But didn't she have, like, a gnarly controversy or something? Or was that just, like, tabloids just making shit up to, like, ruin this woman's life who just got set in fame? I don't know, but, like, does she make music? She did make music.

She stormed the Capitol. She was at the insurrection. Why was she there, bro? She's British. Dude, nobody knows. Damn, she has 500K weekly listeners. Wait, she's popping. Okay.

That song has 30. Did I say tear your holes apart? Yeah. I mean, I helped write that about Drew. Tear your holes apart yeah i mean i helped write that about drew wait she eats i dreamed a dream it's time gone by do you know that song that's what she sings well that song has 32 million streams so there's people out there who listen to suzanne boyle suzanne boyle she was such a heavy fucking card getting that last name boyle fucking boyle some people have it so hard like literally um that's insane there's so many people out there who make music who i literally don't understand like who wait when you look up

suzanne boyle the first song that comes off is Anal Queen. Oh. So maybe she did rap about tearing holes apart. It's like, Suzanne, Anal Queen, I dream to dream, Anal Queen! But like, exclamation point. But yeah, I think she... Oh, wait, yeah, she went to a psychiatric hospital. Well, that's the episode.

Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you for tuning in. No, I also wanted to talk about perfume in middle school. Oh my God. Okay, so we all know the nasty, stinky boys who didn't shower after football practice in the morning and just went to the locker room and sprayed a disgusting amount

of acts all over their body or links like they would just like i was a part of the problem like like just doing it and like i want to see the correlation to people who have like something wrong with them mentally and how much acts they poured on their body when they were younger because like that shit is suffocating like literally like the fucking exhaust you literally just said you were one of those people so you're the example that's what i'm fucking here that's what i'm saying there's gotta be a correlation or a pipeline so now you are further proving your point because you are conspiracizing that the reason something is wrong with you mentally is because of your acts you yes yes i mean there is a whole thing about what's that one burn to deodorant that men use?

The red one. Old Spice. Old Spice. Old Spice literally gives chemical burns. I have had them in high school. I had chemical burns all over my armpits and they were like bloody and blistery and it hurt so fucking bad. And I didn't know what was causing it.

And I kept using it until I saw like an article talking about it. Men are so fucking stupid because I literally somebody I dated what had the same thing it literally had chemical burns under his armpit because of old spice and he was like dude this this deodorant just burns me like I don't know what I'm supposed to do I was like throw it away and get a different brand of deodorant like what is happening and I had to physically throw it away and go with him to buy new deodorant like why do men do that i feel like that's unacceptable that's a grown ass man i was a child doing that let's get that straight let's get that straight motherfuckers are you fucking i thought you were 17 though so you're yeah this was high school three years ago

that's what i just said you graduated already yeah i got my ged oh so you dropped out and then you got a ged no i got my ged early i did a bunch of ap and call i'm actually a senior in college right now too wait so when did you start college oh that's super impressive when i was freshman i had started taking ap ap and dual credit classes but yeah men are so annoying for shit like that like bitch throw that shit away and move on like what is wrong with you when i was when i went to middle school i i went to a new middle school after sixth grade and i was like the new kid i didn't have any friends and this one kid who's like the coolest kid in seventh grade was like you should come to my house after school today like you're sick and i was like okay tight like i made a friend he's cool he has clout i go to his

house and then immediately he's like dude like um do you know that you can make bombs out of uh aluminum and bleach oh i did that all the time the shake like yeah i did that so for the next like three hours he was just like building bombs and then he's like dude i'm bored with this so then he had like a brother who was i guess like 10 at the time and he was like let's smoke bomb let's smoke bomb my brother and i was like with what like what do you what the fuck are you talking about and then he was like dude i do this all the time it's really sick stop does he i we had ax wars too where we would tape the top down and throw it in the room and he tapes

a fucking axe can throws into his brother's room runs around and locks the door and his brother's like screaming like it's crazy it was crazy we would have ax wars i'm now thinking like what what did his brother end up like on to do and literally inhaling like it's literally like inhaling a whippet i feel like i feel like it's the same like it has to do the same thing to your brain like if you're just like suffocating yourself with something like that me and all my homies literally are all freaks so like it makes sense because we would do the same thing we would have ax wars where we would like build forts and then spray each other with ax and then it graduated to spray paint and then it became bullying and it's one of my

biggest regrets in my life as i spray painted a kid really and then he had school next day like mad max yeah like no i like i spray painted him like it's it's really it's not chill like we were we were like let's let's have a spray paint battle and then me and my friends like teamed up against him it was really really dark and like do you know him still yeah yeah we're still friends like i literally apologize for all of it because i i was like i was evil y'all like it was really bad um but yeah we used to do the bombs where you would get tinfoil and then it's uh the works it's called the works bomb and then like there's like a chemical reaction where it like expands the bottom like explodes but we also used to shoot the cans of axe with bb's and explode them they there wouldn't be i they

might have been fire there wasn't fire now but then going like i would get in so much trouble because when my dad would actually go and get me like a victoria's secrets like body spray and i would come back home and it was fucking empty because i would be in class like like on all my friends going to the bathroom being like let's go to the bathroom and put on our perfume but really we were just literally soaking each other down with it and we would literally start to smell like literally some of that perfume reminds me of the smell when you leave like piss in a litter box too long like it literally like it's literally an ammonia like it is a crazy fucking scent and the fact that like we were also why did teachers get so mad

about us like using it in class like bitch because you were literally gassing out the class like you were causing problems like that shit that's what that was my original point was like we get made fun of for our acts use like y'all weren't doing the same fucking thing with that glitter perfume like in the back it was such a vibe though the glitter perfume also like school in general just smelt like maple syrup fart bombs and then a mix of like the worst perfumes on the planet like that's all just breakfast in general like i hated that smell i hated getting to school in the morning because i don't like the smell of maple syrup especially that fake ass one that comes in the fucking like mcdonald's little one

and school would just smell like that like you knew if a kid had breakfast at school that morning because they just smelled like a pancake like like you smell like a pancake get out of my face like it was so much sticks oh that shit hit i literally my entirety i'm not gonna talk about that i'll tell you all that later though oh wow oh wow i just never ate in high school oh i didn't either i did not eat school lunch and I would eat two meals when I got home. Yeah. I would eat chicken nuggets every day. Your school had chicken nuggets every day?

Why are you breathing so heavy? I would eat chicken nuggets every day. Did your school have chicken nuggets every day? Yes. Seriously? Yes, and I would eat them every day. Actually, beautiful. See, when there was like a good thing like chicken nuggets or something, I was fucking

that shit up. Or they would give us like fake ass McChickens with no mayo no mayo no lettuce it was just the bun and like my chicken patty and i would the shit that they gave us were like half frozen yeah it was like hockey pucks and you have to like de-thaw them in your car my school had a subway a chipotle a dominoes and um a chick-fil-a you trying to think of something else to add no i'm not i'm not even kidding we had but we had like just at a mall yeah no we had like dupes of it like our chipotle was like shitty like cafeteria food but they would wrap it up into burritos for you and it was like thirty dollars wait what the is the layout of your school lunch like place of your cafeteria

the cafeteria was like this and then along this side of the wall was like four different like lines that you could line up in and you would like so like burrito line was this side then the pizza line was this side and then like the regular lunch food was this side and then like the chick-fil-a and sandwich making spot was like this side but they had actual you literally went to high school musical like what the fuck they actually had real chick-fil-a sandwiches like but they would sell out so fucking fast that is insane my cafeteria school was you get in there's two lines and it's the same fucking slop shit on each side and you just had to wait in line and if you went to the front to like go see what there was before you got in line you would get yelled at because they'd be like get to the back of the line so you had to wait in the line

just to get to the front and see that it was like cold ass fucking green beans like a shitty like empty like pizza that had like no marinara sauce on it like sausage pizza the little fucking nodes of sausage was like actually they looked like moles that were removed from the lunch lady's back like they were literally so fucking nasty like i can't and kids ate that shit up i was like you're freaks but the kids that ran to the lunch room like i want to see where they're at today like they were about that shit they were all like the weirdos with like the roller backpacks but like where are they like do you know what i mean like they're all in fucking computer science like needed to be at the front of the line i'm like that shitty food is gonna

be there for the next 40 minutes i had a roller backpack did you actually yeah i did in high school high school but in fifth grade and this really big kid would always kick it really i also i brought like a teddy bear to school like way too late into my like elementary school years and I had a rolly backpack with a teddy bear that like his head would stick out and this kid would just kick the shit out of it and the bear would go flying that's sweet actually are you being a like no they're sweet because i'm the underdog and okay i'm the main character okay no matter what i don't know if you've ever watched a movie but usually the that's not how that works the kid with the rolly backpack is not the main character ever um well

have y'all because it's crazy that like schools make kids pay for lunch like there there was like nothing more humiliating do you remember book covers did y'all have book covers what do you mean like the nylon book covers yeah oh my god dude that was like stretchy ones yes that was like a currency in my school like and i remember like i was so fucking swagged out like that's when i knew that i was cooler than everybody else still am don't fucking play was when i had like all the cool book covers and then i had that side satchel bag where my binders and books would sit in it like my school you would have got beat the fuck up because that is so embarrassing like kids who like no i was muumuu coded like what are you talking about like yeah like i had the muumuu side satchel like it was that was the evolution

though it was the rolly backpack to the the thing that you strap across your chest i thought it was like a messenger bag or something. Yeah, messenger bag. It was like for a laptop. I didn't know anybody who had those, like, who was, like, cool who had those. So my school was different. Well, I was cool. Yeah, I don't know. It feels like you remembered that because Kai was saying you got bullied,

and then you had, like, a moment where you remembered being bullied, and then you brought that up. The narrative has shifted where you were the person blowing people up a second ago and now you're... No, no, I was wicked. I wasn't like a normal bully. I was like psychological. I was like a psychological bully.

I told this kid he had squades one time and they didn't like sob squirrel AIDS for those. Dude, I still feel bad about that. And then the teacher sent me out to the hall and i was like oh i was devastated and then like yeah i spray painted him i threw like basketballs at him all the time and then like oh dude actually i don't even want to tell that one that one's mean well what i was saying is why the fuck do they make children pay for lunch at school because that is so gnarly.

I will never forget going like, there was nothing more humiliating than getting to the front with your tray of food and then putting in your number and looking at you being like, you don't have any money and taking your tray away from you and giving you cereal and milk. And that was like,

that is so humiliating. Like each time I would fucking cry and be so embarrassed and just like, you're always in line with a friend behind you and like then your friend just goes and gets their food and now you're walking with like a thing of cereal and milk and your friend has all their fucking hot food and you're just like dude it's really gnarly like if you think about it like we would rather our children starve than fucking let them eat a two dollar meal that costs two max two dollars

but like what like actually also what are you gonna do give my tray to another kid they would just throw my fucking tray out like you might as well just give it to me like yeah exactly we had like i'm hungry we had really sweet lunch ladies like i love my lunch ladies like if like my parents forgot to put money in my account or something they would just be like you can pay me next time yeah they would let you go sometimes but like i was one of the kids who would always like be like oh i'm gonna have money next week sorry and they're like you're not gonna have money next week no and then broke broke no money no bitches no swag broke well i had a lot of friends who fed me so and i'll never forget that kindness that was shared to me and it was a lot of friends who had fallings out with uh falling out with and then i had to fight them

anyway so i will never forget it was fighting in middle school i don't and you got jumped in middle school bitch i never got jumped but i have got my ass i got jumped yeah you got jumped 10 times bro shut the fuck up 10 times 10 times all in a row too every day you were being sacrificed I never got jumped rightfully so one time

and it was by one of my homegirls I said something I should have never said to her and she she had some height on me and she fucking beat my ass and immediately after we had a really good conversation and it was fine we had a very nice conversation that we never beefed again that that wasn't like fifth grade i actually did get jumped one time very quickly i was i was i was a freshman again at a new school

a new high school and i am so you were like new kid syndrome i was new kid syndrome three times yeah so i like i would carpool with this kid diego and we had we shared a locker it was like freshman year and this kid comes up and he shoves me against the locker i think this was like a week into school or something but he was in my p class he was really strong he shoved me against the locker and then diego uh goes around the back of him and grabs his hat and throws it on the ground i might have said this on the podcast is this something no i've never heard this but it was like the nicest thing that anyone's like ever done to me or for me and that's so like out of nowhere like i didn't even really know him that well but he just like stood up for you stood up for me and he like grabbed his hat he grabbed his like fitted

san francisco giants hat and like stomped on it and he was like don't do that to my friend and i was like i was like bro that was so we are friends yeah that's that latin culture we just like stand up for like the yeah it was white and yeah no why the fuck is his name diego diego was a white man named diego yeah he was like damn his parents were feeling themselves they were like what are we gonna name him um well i'm gonna name my child san francisco san francisco my name is san francisco and I'm from San Diego what the fuck oh bro well one time when I was on crutches and I was like

first in line at this thing and like one of my friends who dated my sister in like 7th or 8th grade or something like just was like fucking around with me and like just being a dickhead to me and just being whatever just shooting the shit but i wasn't like having it so much smoke

i shot it out because i started to laugh at myself because i was gonna be like whoa you let your friends hit your sister like you let them hit that like that's crazy i did bro it was crazy i was lit did you ever get yelled at by your friend's parents uh yes i'll tell about that in a second but then this kid i boiled over it was the first time i like saw red and i had my crutch and i just went and like hit the fuck out of his shin like and i literally made him bleed out and he never fucked with me ever again but he had like a gash on his leg and yeah he was a track runner and i like i was like go for the leg go for the leg and i just went and like cut his leg open and bruised it and he was like limping he's like bro what the fuck like

why did you do that i was like don't fucking play when uh i was like probably 13 my best friend was really into skating and um this is when you ask if i've ever gotten yelled at by like someone's parents which by the way is like one of the worst it's horrible things that can happen to someone it is literally horrible horrible feeling and i still to this day when i think about it i get like oh fuck oh fuck like i like i get like nervous but yeah my friend was really into skating at the time and his dad was like this like macho guy he like built everything he fixed up cars and boats and like he was a pilot and he did everything like he he was actually really cool um but he um helped he was helping his son build like a half pipe. Like he was like built, we were building a half pipe for him. And like, I was like a fucking skinny little scrawny fucking nasty twink. Like I

was gross. I would like, I was needed to eat a fucking burger challenge. And we were building this half pipe and I came over on the day they were building it. And the dad was like, hey, Drew, come over here and help me. And I went over there to help him. Went over there to help him. And he was like moving like giant sheets of plywood because they were almost done. And they were stapling like the top on or nailing the top on. And I just could not, I physically could not hold my end of the giant sheet of plywood. And I was like dropping it.

And I just like, I couldn't do it. And I kept telling him, he was like, no, you got it. You got it. And we had to walk like 30 more feet. And then I just like drop it. And then he like drops it on his feet and he gets, oh my God, he was so fucking mad. He was like, why didn't you tell me you were going to drop it? Like that could have really injured me.

And like, he was like reaming into me. And my friend was like, bro, like what the fuck is going on? He like, he took his anger out on me and like he was like reaming into me and my friend was like bro like what the fuck is going on he like he took his anger out on me and snapped at me and i just was like okay i'm gonna go home and i called my dad and waited at the top of the driveway and went home and it was like i was terrified he like scared the fuck out of me but he's still cool today he showed me i see him all the time still but yeah evil wow i personally would have um gotten the police involved i would have called me personally i would not have handled yeah me personally i would have beat his ass i would not have let him talk to me like that like my worst one is i used to carpool in like

middle school with people lived in my neighborhood and i was late every time it was my bad but whatever and then one day we were like coming back and i was in the car i was making like annoying jokes and the driver who was like my neighbor's mom was like you know what kai like i really wish you would uh shut the fuck up because you're late every morning you hold everyone up and like destroyed me like completely destroyed me and then she was like i'm i i want you to get out of the car and i want you to walk the rest of the way and then i walked but i needed this like i needed it like ever since then i have not been as late to things i swear to god trauma

no it's good it's really good again i wouldn't have let her get away with that i would have been like you know what bitch you get out of the fucking car and i would have fought her ass right there in front of her i would have pulled her hair i would have splashed habanero juice on her like i don't fucking play with that shit i guess like actually i didn't hang out with like my friends i was like in the kind of household that if i hung out with my friends they would usually come to my house but i never had any of my friends yell at me but i had my godparents who i was really close with their kids um my godfather yelled at me like twice which i also think i said this on the podcast but we like i had a really bad

habit as a kid that before the car came to a stop i would open the door and get out and he would always be like do not do that don't do that that's dangerous I don't want to run over your foot don't fucking do that and then one time I did it and he would like blast music in the car so I did it and he slammed the car shut he slammed the car like to a stop turned down the music and turned to me and was like what the fuck did I tell you about doing that and I was like um and he was like no we're gonna try this again and he pulled out of the driveway, went around the block and like had the music blaring again. Like he literally recreated the whole scene.

And my ass never opened that door too fast ever again. I could, I was like, that was insane. I, he had never yelled at me, never raised his voice, but he just like went in on me.

He was like, and if I fucking broke your foot, then it's my fucking fault. And your dad's going to beat my fucking ass. Like, don't fucking do that. And like went in on me and then went back around. And then I just never opened the door too soon.

That shit will change the trajectory of your moral and ethical compass. Yeah. Dude, when Adele yelled at me. What? I don't even want to talk about it. You knew Adele? You're from Granbury. You should definitely dive into that.

Yeah. That seems super interesting. We were just like chilling a bunch. But she yelled at you? Yeah. She like poured acid towards me. Towards you. Towards you.

It didn't hit me, thankfully. There's like certain stories that I want to tell, but I think they would not be taken lightly. So I'm not going to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. so i'm not gonna um yeah yeah yeah when we have nothing to talk about we're like let's go down memory lane like let's talk about our child i had so much shit to talk about that was just a free-flowing organic conversation which is really nice um we can talk about how men are nasty and will always cheat should we talk about that should we get into that sure um okay so a classic classic cheater oh are you saying that because of what we saw yesterday i don't even know what you're referencing i'm

talking about something else but throw it in there if no because if anybody's gonna watch love is blind you need to watch oh yes partially that but no steven fucking hawking cheating on his wife riz literally silent robotic riz like let's talk about that he has robot riz but but that motherfucker cheated on his wife and couldn't fucking move like he literally couldn't move and he cheated on his wife with one of his nurses like if there's one thing you can count on a man doing it's gonna be to fucking cheat like i can't i literally fucking can't that's in the trajectory of anybody who is like dating a man like you better believe at some point you're gonna have to talk about the fact that he cheated like it's just in some capacity it may not be hooking up it may not be doing s

but like in some capacity he's gonna look at a woman wrong or something but like oh my god if stephen hawking can cheat any man will cheat like just think about that also why was he on epstein's island like let's really talk about that what was he doing there but anyways wait what he was on epstein's island there's pictures of him there yes there's i didn't i didn't know that there's pictures of him there bro what the fuck isn't that crazy that is like he's truly insane no one had any business being there let alone him he had no business being there, let alone him. He had no business being there. Like, why are you there? Dude, imagine actually not knowing what's up with Epstein and like being invited to an island.

Like, realistically, a billionaire is flying me out to an island to ride jet skis. That's what I'm saying. Like, if a billionaire came up to me right now, I was like, dude, do you want to get on a private jet and go to my island? I'd be like, yes. And then 20 years from now, there's just a picture of me. And you're like, post it up. And it turned out to be the fucking killer. And I was just like, in all my pictures, I'm hella happy.

People were like, look how happy she was. She was fully involved. What's that robot girl? What's that robot girl? Little Michaela. Little Michaela Epstein. Spotted girl what's that robot girl little Michaela little Michaela Epstein dude little Michaela met Epstein she was on that fucking island there's a picture of it like I'd be so pissed because imagine you went and it wasn't even that fun too and now you're involved bitch I'd be pissed but

there's literally a picture of her and Epstein together like this is crazy and it's a Bitch, I'd be pissed. There's literally a picture of her and Epstein together. Like, this is crazy. And it's a printout, so you know it's real. Like, what the fuck? Dude, oh my God. Wow. I love the idea of you being posted up with glenn maxwell that's what's worse is like you are probably a little drunk so the photos aren't even good

pictures so you're gonna be like yeah like just post it up oh i'd be so pissed okay guys i didn't know i just like heard free i just heard island a really hard week you're working your ass off and then you get this invitation and you're like oh my god this is literally a god sent thank you so much you're like yeah the trip had kind of weird vibes people were being

a little bit weird people would disappear for a few hours but I just thought they were sleeping like it was a really big feeling left out that you weren't getting like invited to shit well I'll leave us with one more thing and then we can get into media and stuff this is actually what's up with the side up corner oh i'm that's what i mean yeah um but this one's kind of sweet but i was just like i forget where we were oh we were at the um uh eve's tumor show and just like seeing all these people being like oh like i was watching I forget where we were. Oh, we were at the Eve's Tumor show. And just seeing all these people being like,

oh, I was watching you when I was 13, 14. Brain rotted. You're a dangerous person. Love you. But if you're still listening, I don't know. I don't know where your head's at, but you scare me. We're just as crazy as we are. But I was just like looking

around and thinking i was like damn dude we really did like all like kind of grow up together in a way like yeah 100 i'm glad like i got to grow up on the internet um and it's just really sweet to just like hear stories of people being like oh yeah like i saw you when i was 14 and now i'm like graduating nursing school and like yeah it also scares me because like that's like one of those moments where I actually have a concept of time because if like one of you comes up to us and it's like, oh yeah, I've been watching you since I was like fucking 12 and now I'm looking at the face of an adult.

Like it's like, yeah, I've been watching you since you started on the internet for like 10 years ago and I'm looking at like the face of another adult. I'm just like, how are you ever 12 years old watching my content like that like i i like i like can't correlate it and it freaks me out but in a sweet way because i'm just like oh my god that's insane and then it makes me uh think about the fact that like i actually have an effect on people which i don't want to think about because that scares me but i'm a good person so it's okay someone like um one there we we met like this nurse that was just like oh like it's so like y'all make me feel like less crazy because like y'all are weirdos and it's

just like really sweet but i forgot who who i was talking to about it but someone uh i i had the thought but then i lost it it when you were talking but whatever it doesn't matter let's move on oh wow let's fucking move on also that just reminded me of we've literally said on the podcast before like if you were a doctor and you listen to this shit I'm fucking scared of you and then she was like I'm a nurse

and I was like you're crazy wow you're crazy but love live laugh love she was awesome Drew Siopcorder hey wow you're crazy but love live laugh love she was awesome drew siap corner oh my god welcome to drew siap corner um so this one's just a classic you've already seen it it's like three weeks old um she ate this let him cook that who the fuck's gonna be doing the dishes kai um scratching a bug bite feels like evil masturbation

that's a really good one having a crush gives me the same symptoms of psychosis like delusions of grandeur like really um okay this one is like a thought that i had that will probably be cut out um but i don't have it written out in true psyop form. So I kind of just like go into it a little bit. But how do people with dementia and Alzheimer's still remember to be racist? Like literally on their deathbed, like they're still racist. Like it's so deeply ingrained into their fucking life. Like racist, homophobic, like what the hell?

Like how is that the one thing that sticks? Like it makes no sense and then like you'll see videos of people like walking down halls with like their dementia or alzheimer's out like mom and like they're walking behind her filming and the mom is just like you fucking fat pig like i fucking hate you like why are you following me freak bitch like i fucking hate you like leave me the fuck alone and then then, like, the girl's like, oh, my God. Like, how do dementia people remember to be mean? Like, I don't know.

Like, it's pretty crazy. Yeah, I don't even remember to just be evil. But maybe that's, like, a sign that, like, that person might have just had, like, a little evil in them that's, like, always lingered. And, like, that's just the part of their brain that still works. Like, I just don't understand it. Yeah, it's really crazy.

Do I got any more? I think that's all i have i'm trying to remember i said something in the car that you were like write that down but i didn't i simply didn't maybe i wrote it because my funniness just like you have to be there for it and if you're not there and then like i don't know what to tell you you just weren't there and now you won't believe i'm funny daniel roseberry from scaparelli is fine you writing that down i wanted to talk about it but oh yeah you were supposed to show me people you found attractive and then i was gonna tell you if i like agreed with you yeah we'll do that next episode okay we'll do it with josiah yeah drew said that my taste in what did you say about my taste in men i don't remember exactly but it's just really like bizarre like i feel like you could probably like if we put like five people

up i feel like if you put five women up i think you would easily be able to choose who i thought was attractive but for men it's just so obscure like that's the word i use like her attraction is just very obscure like it's like down to the minute detail like the nose bridge like i've i've noticed like every single man you're like oh he's fine has like the exact same like bump in their nose i'm like and yeah Oh, hell no. Oh, hell no. Oh, hell no. Oh, hell no. Oh, hell no. Fuck, I suck at it, bro.

My name is Carmen Winstead. My name is Carmen Winstead. I'm 17 years old. I'm very similar to you. Did I mention I'm dead? When I was 17 years old, three girls pushed me down a well i got stuck down there send this chain email to 25 of your friends or she'll come and kill you my name is Drew Phillips. All right.

Media of the week. We need to hit up Lo Anthony. I need to scream. No, we need to hit up Lo Anthony to record us one of those. Do you think he would? I bet if we paid him, he would. Hell no. You don't think if we paid him, he wouldn't? There's some pictures of him that came out, and I was was like, oh my God, that is a straight man.

But then there were some pictures that I saw that I was like, there's a little gay in him. He really is a little gay and he's just repressing that shit. He's like scared straight. We need to start a show called Scared Straight where it's gay people conversion therapy. Oh, I don't think we need to though so that's crazy uh fuck i forgot what i was gonna say renegade renegade renegade oh so when i talk it's a little about a little i was gonna start rapping yeah i've been rapping a bunch recently rap album coming soon um my media of the week is what did we watch oh we watched the second exorcist um they made a movie about me and orion the second

literally about me and orion and our wing bots literally that movie's about you before you've had your coffee in the morning that's literally a joke drew made while we were watching it i said that and i said the wing bot joke when we said the wing bot joke at the same time did orion tell you that you whispered it to orion and i a second later said it and she goes drew literally just said that to me so we had the same joke at the same time loaded up well no i said it first so okay well i'm speaking from personal experience so like bitch me too um but yeah that's the only movie yeah i would throw your wing butt away i'm gonna be honest why oh have you been using it i put it on my butthole i really do yeast infection time my stank of it bb time um my media of the week is i think i already said this the abandoned luncheonette album by daryl hall and john oats

and i'm still listening to i want you like that album by marvin gay and oh my god uh the t song. What is it? One of Your Girls. That song is so good. Yeah, I've been listening to that one a lot. Look at you. Look at you. Look at you.

Look at me. One of Your Girls by Troye Sivan. Look around the room. It's a fine day, Opus 3. Still listening to the 10 Tricks Point Never album. Still listening to Yabujan and Boards of Canada. I don't have any specific songs to give you other than Opus 3. I will say It's a Fine Day, Opus 3 is quite literally the best song ever made.

Like, are you sure? You better not be serving cunt while I'm talking to you. You better not doing your media of the week while I'm serving cunt in front of the camera when I get there. You better not be serving cunt. Why did that joke come back up? Like, I think you said it first. You said it.

I've just been saying it randomly. And then you like say it back to me. And then I say it back to you. think you said it first you said it i've just been saying it randomly and then you like say it back to me and then i say it back to you and we say it four times in a row it's the same thing as when we see something we're like okay me when i'm and then we just describe what we're looking at it's the same thing oh because we were in the when i'm a hydro flask with a dent in it we were in the who is that all right well thank you guys for watching somebody i saw somebody be like the way and you cut the podcast off every time scares the fuck out of me because i'm like all right guys bye like literally but um we watched the exorcist in 40x and that movie would have been terrible

if it didn't have 40x every movie should be in 40x it's so fucking funny it's like disney world yeah it literally is literally a theme park but yeah i literally have nothing else to say so fuck you Bye.