Emergency Intercom - women should cheat more

Episode Date: February 3, 2023

Our most disgusting episode yet, drew and enya talk about spraying poop out of their butt, enya adds women cheating to her ins for 2023 and drew tells a story about how a doctor gave him pink eye. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at www.BetterHelp.com/intercom Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music. And it's not just sounds and instruments. It's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. welcome back to emergency intercom i'm drew i'm enya and this is our unmedicated ADHD. Damn. Sorry, I'm eating bread because I'm not kidding.

I think that medicines like DayQuil and NyQuil that give you liver warnings on the back are actually making you sicker. Because every time I take it, my kidneys hurt. Boy, I don't know. I don't know what to say to that. I don't believe in medicine either anymore. Yeah stopped believing it i feel like i but over the counter medication maybe give me a percocet though do you believe in percocet for that like i believe in percocet i believe in roxy cotton roxy codon oxcotton. What else is there? Fentanyl patches, fentanyl lollipops.

I'm going to stick a fentanyl lollipop in your butt. I would literally love that so much because there's this thing called boofing that is like boofing ketamine. Yeah. Why haven't we made like condoms that are like integrated with certain things like to get people high while they fuck they probably do do that i'm gonna make that yeah

me as if any of those drugs are legal i'm like um no they're all being left in okay we have mushroom gummies mushroom condoms that's too much because you can literally go like to the apple store of weed and like get Mushroom gummies. Mushroom condoms. That's too much because you can literally go like to the Apple store of weed and like get a good edible. Why are you putting in your butt? Like, but yeah, that's I just want to say that I don't believe in modern medicine. Over the counter. I take it because, yeah, I believe in modern modern medicine like vaccines and whatnot but over the counter like you're selling me something that on the back literally is warning me a million times

not to take more than two a day or else i will experience liver failure i shouldn't be putting that into my body yeah i should be letting the gods cure me as they intended with my immune system but i was sick last week as you all know i feel way better but i woke up sick again because i felt better my first day feeling fully healthy i was like yes perfect timing it was our friend's party i went and then i smoked a bunch of cigarettes and sucked up your throat again back to feeling a little not so lit. But that's okay. That's just the way.

That's the way love goes. That's the way it is. That's the way it is. The only reason I said Boofing Ketamine is that's an inside joke with one of our friends that is 100% listening. And we miss you. We miss you, babes. Imagine if she just doesn't listen to this one um i was gonna say something oh um i realize my farts for the most time are silent because i have

no ass cheeks for them to travel through yeah you don't there's not that like walls to there's no wall of sound yeah since mine is so fat it's like earth shattering like farts when i do when i do it shakes the earth you remember you remember the wait you fart yeah that you remember the san francisco earthquake yeah that was because i shit myself your shits are really like like scentless yeah the la one i think it was in 98 maybe i don't remember there was the one that collapsed the bridge in LA. That was on me, unfortunately. You had just been born, though.

I know. Oh, my God. Yeah. You were born with all that cake. It's devastating. It was devastating. I did open the fridge this morning, and I farted like a 48-year-old man. I was literally in my pajamas and all ragged because I had just woken up and I, like, looked in the fridge and I farted.

And I felt like a 48-year-old who, like, is a divorcee. And I deserved it. You lost the apartment. Or you lost the house and you have the bachelor apartment. Yeah. The sad divorced dad apartment. The bachelor apartment where I live with, like, two random 20-year-olds who I, like, met on Craigslist. Yeah. live with like two random 20 year olds who i like met on craigslist yeah the the divorcee apartment

is like really sad and something a lot of people go through and no one talks about if it's a man who is divorced he probably deserves it kai i'm sorry i know kai's really on his fucking iphone he's on tiktok as we're working i always watch porn at like four minutes just to like feel something oh my god just to remind yourself what time we're at yeah um but oh speaking of divorce we need to level out the playing field and more women need to start cheating and i was thinking about this while i was driving yesterday so men cheat i know that like women because we're just so like emotionally intellectual like and we're not driven by these like fucking like ruthless evils that men are that more often

than not women aren't the ones cheating so here's my plan because i know that cheating like is like a hard thing to do because women are just so like gorgeous and amazing and perfect so it's hard to like be unloyal like that because we are so meant to be ride or die so next time you are about to break up with your partner just lie and say you cheated like just so we can even out the play and you might be like well i don't want to be like seen and perceived as a cheater cheating is in that's my trend forecast trend forecast this trend forecast that no cheating is in 2023 women cheating is in it's a slay it's like very sexy it's like damn like i bet it was good though like yeah that's my prediction yeah and girls can't

actually cheat because they're not pretty enough so they have to lie is that a joke or no that's how i feel i thought like the thing is you go so back and forth oh you said but you said girls you're not talking about like women do you reserve two different opinions or you just think like women and girls are like just nasty vaginas are scary period uterus and that's on uterus we need to start saying that like oh like when you're gonna say like period you say uterus i was thinking like instead of saying oh it's giving it's purring don't say that no do not do not say that but say uterus oh my god like it's giving uterus it's not giving uterus i'm not saying that yeah i'm gonna say it's giving colonoscopy oh my god i cannot believe you said that because that is the

perfect segue for something i have written down that i wrote down this morning that is insane that you said that because one was the that is the first time that word has been uttered on this podcast but um when i was like 11 or 12 i was having like really gnarly stomach issues like i don't know what the fuck was going on like i would eat and immediately like throw up right after and it wasn't on some like ed shit it was fully like my stomach and my body was like not letting food go down my gullet so like i lost a bunch of weight and i was already underweight so i went to the doctor and they were like oh you probably just have acid bunch of weight and i was already underweight so i went to the doctor and they were like oh you probably just have acid reflux and i was like yeah i know i have acid reflux like my teeth are all melting out of my skull because at night my stomach acid

and bile goes up into my throat and melts the enamel off my fucking teeth dude that literally just made me like shiver yeah it was up i still do when i eat chocolate when you forgot to brush your teeth in the morning, you went to school, you smelled like shit. I never forgot to brush my teeth. I know you smelled like fucking doo-doo. Okay. I went three days. No.

Go, say it, say it, say it. Please, please. Is this recently? No, no, no. But I had, where was I? Where was I? You said, okay, you were going to the doctor you had stomach issues oh yeah they were like you probably have acid reflux and i was like oh yeah i fucking know

well um we went and got a second opinion from another doctor and they were like um this is weird a 12 year old should not be having stomach acid or stomach issues like this like let's get you an endoscopy which is when they get a camera and they shove it down your throat and they look at that's why i don't have a gag reflex they shove the camera down your throat they check out like your esophagus and your stomach make sure you don't have ulcers and shit i think they even go into like your the beginning of your stomach i think it's like the idiom or something like that i don't know but and um okay pre-med no i don't even know what it's called that's not even the right oh my fucking god sorry wow sorry i'm just like wow could it be me like i'm no dropout

you're just such a wow like stick to the plan like well you ever heard of that okay yeah but um and they asked they they said oh like we also want to do a colonoscopy is that okay and i was like yeah that's okay like more shit to talk about um this is when you're 12 yeah so in the same procedure they did an endoscopy and a colonoscopy at the same time. And this is the worst part. Well, okay, we'll go back. Not the same time.

They met the cameras in the middle and there's footage of my insides with the cameras looking at each other. Stop, because I literally was like, damn, they Eiffel Towered you. Yeah, literally, literally. But a couple of days prior, I had to take like the most amount of laxatives anybody's ever consumed and like i mean i was like spraying shit out of my ass this was like pre-constipation era

like it was flowing and it was like football season so like there was like a bathroom right next to our living room and i would go in that bathroom and like explode out of my ass and people would like evacuate it was like really up it was like bad bad um but anyways i was like a child and whatever so fast forward to now um they did the procedures at this exact same time and i woke up out of the procedure in my eye my right eye felt just so weird i was like something is wrong with this eye but i didn't say anything while i was at the hospital went home slept it off like woke up at like seven and i had like the worst pink eye of my entire life which either means that they gave me pink eye they either put that fucking poop tube down my throat that poop camera down my throat and accidentally rub their fucking gloveless hands on my eye and

gave me pink eye or i just got pink eye because i was like shitting so much i'm gonna assume you got pink guy because you were spraying shit out of your ass and you weren't washing i was heavily no i actually was washing my hands because my mom made me but i was heavily heavily heavily convinced that this was malpractice and i was gonna win like a case against this company mind you he's 12 i literally was i was like i was scheming i was like figuring this shit out i was like oh this is not gonna slide you're gonna finger that shit out. Yeah, exactly. Of your butt. I have done that before. Because you're constipated. Stop. You talking about it in like the first episode or something like that? Yeah, I'm so Japan core.

Like, if you know, you know. Because of the Pocari Sweat? Babe, you got that in LA. Little Tokyo. But what was I saying? You were saying that you're going to finger it out. You finger poop out your butt we bleeped it in one of the first episodes because i was like we cannot like we cannot

start like this so far gone like it's not like i feel like uh saying that you finger poop out your butt it's probably one of the like more tame things we've maybe said did you know that you're a girl and you got a shit um and you put your finger in your vagina and you press against the back you could feel the poop in your butt What that's real That is so real. That's so cool That's what like what what like why is that so cool to you? That's cool and sexy Yeah, you could just like massage it out if you really needed to I bet i haven't done that because i'm not nasty and i don't poop are you okay that was just far too much for me i'm gonna be honest that was a lot that was that more than all of us watching porn yeah oh no that was just that

was too much for you no that wasn't too much for me i I just, like, didn't need to see that. Like, I never needed to witness that. Like, it was laying eggs. Like, it was laying eggs inside of her. We were watching porn that was, like, I feel like it used to be a big joke. This podcast is fucking nasty, though. I know, I know. We need to stop. We gotta stop. We'd be like, so we were watching this porn porn that's our video of the week it's like the egg porn yeah

yeah all right all right well we'll uh we'll go to like a little nicer note um sad still for me but so i recently found out that the odor that I was smelling in middle school, like during the wintertime, was stinky Uggs. Like girls would wear their Uggs and they would fucking stink like shit and they would have an odor. And it was like always kept a secret. And I was always like, what the fuck is this like sulfur, like nasty ass rotten egg fucking odor stench coming from this area and it was always like the pretty girl sitting in the area and i was like there's no way it's them well one this one girl in particular who had stinky fucking uggs and now i like but she was also like the prettiest girl in school um i asked her to the dance and i asked her just like you want to go

to the dance with me and in front of everybody it was like eight people at the lunch table and she said no and i was like i was like literally destroyed what was your reaction i was literally destroyed like humiliated because like i thought i had i thought i was like rizzing all over her like i was spraying riz everywhere like i don't know if that's the way i was squirting like it was crazy oozing riz it was like thick creamy it riz all over the place uh but yeah she uh said no and i was like literally like so heartbroken like not because I like wanted to go on a date with her but because I was like embarrassed that someone would say no to me. Sorry I just watched the way you rubbed your eye

and it freaked me out. You were doing it in like such a specific way you were like yeah cause like you get like that was it literally looks like an animatronic it was scaring me. It is. So she said no. Did you just walk away or did you try looked like an animatronic. It was scaring me. Okay, so she said no. Did you just walk away or did you try to like say anything else?

Oh, I was like, I was joking. I straight up, I was like, I wouldn't ask you anyways. Like that type of vibe. And like, yeah, I was really fucking humiliated. You were like, well, you're fucking ugly. Yeah. But look who won. She has stinky fucking uggs.

And you are sitting in that chair. Drinking Japan core. Well, when Drew said that to me, I was like telling him how I saw a TikTok about that the other day, like about stinky Uggs. Oh, because the girl who does all like the 2008 content did that. But I didn't know that was a thing like i didn't know when you were like when people were young they were like experiencing like uggs getting stinky because no one in my area had fucking uggs and then it reminded me that i had bootleg uggs when i was younger from sketchers and they were like broke no money poor oh my god like i get your

money up not your funny up i mean we were and i was a kid fugs oh my god did you just make fugs up yeah fugs is good fuglies i i it's probably it's probably been said yes i'm happy i've said fugs um well i had fugs growing up and i just thought they were the weirdest shoe ever because nope i genuinely didn't see uggs until i like met you guys and then and then i put you on yeah and then i saw like of course i saw like fall girl like memes and stuff but i just assumed it was like such a niche community that did uggs and i didn't know that it was a huge thing for like white communities and i was like wow okay yeah yeah right it was really big that and like this is a deep cut actually i don't even

think it's a deep cut but kendra scott was like kendra scott again it was like the tiffany of my hometown like if you had like your kinder scott necklace your kinder scott earrings your fleece uh like north face jacket your uggs and your leggings like you were taught bitch in school like that you tore like that was the fit um it's like fake ass jewels like i don't know how to explain it yeah yeah i think this might still be a thing yeah well the kind Kendra Scott, that all the girlies would go to, is no longer in business. R.I.P. Fumbling hard, fumbled the bag. But one of my friends recently, Kendra Scott, hosted a party in Austin, and he was hired as a fake paparazzi to paparazzi all of the celebrity guests that went in.

Greg Abbott is a fucking freak bitch monster bitch. I don't know who that is. He's like the governor of Texas. He's the worst fucking person on planet Earth. Okay, okay, okay. And like we all hope he dies like right now. Like he just needs to keel over, get it done with, finish the job. He pulled up and it was quiet.

Like did they not fake paparazzi him? I think they had to. The job had to be done. A job was a job and the job had to be done. Well, yeah. That motherfucker. Wait, I actually really want to find the fake Skechers Uggs because I don't think they like were big too

a sketcher uggs now they're doing like the new ones i need to find like the grumbly ones i had these were kind of what i had they were like similar in like sheen like they were so weird and my dad got them for me and oh also this is why it makes sense that my dad got them for me because my dad was at the time working for a really wealthy white family and i think maybe their daughters had uggs so my dad was just like went to go get his shoes and was like oh like these are like those shoes those girls have i'm gonna get it for my girls and got it for me and my sister and we liked them because we're like oh these are fun and cozy but like it's if i wore any other fake shoe to school like god forbid i wore like and yeah and ones are like shacks to

school i would have been like roasted at the fucking stake but nobody knew what uggs were so they were just like oh she's on her cozy shit like i was just serving like going to school in like my cookie monster pants kind of vibe when i pulled up with those and people were like wow she's so cozy like me coming to school with a blanket she doesn't care yeah i just didn't give a fuck me going to school with a blanket my fake uggs my like black jegging like leggings my white polo polo polo what did you just call me jeggings you are kind of like jeggings because after a few washes you're fucking useless i'm gonna throw you away and you get all soggy and saggy on my butt bitch um like i was saying um but yeah me pulling up like that and then with my crunchy fucking gel hair because i

didn't know how to take care of my curly hair so i was doing my like with like the most gel in the world um oh my god me walking around school like in seventh grade like this walking down the hallways like because my hair was still soaking wet because i put it in the sink that morning to wet it for my gel um but yeah nobody clocked me on my fake uggs because we literally didn't know what that was and also like it does make sense that they fucking stink because in the winter they're just like walking through the snow in your uggs and they get wet and nasty yeah and like the girls would wear them in the rain and they would literally get fucking moldy and start like crumbling underneath their feet like soggy uggs is like the funniest thing like there are photos of girls with like muddy fucking

uggs like it's like the funniest shit i've ever seen like they're like sagging down literally looking up muddy uh yeah it's like the funniest photos i've ever seen ew oh this is just a video kate's uggs stuck in the mud that's got it this specific photo this shit is the funniest thing i've ever seen in my entire life ew why is this a fucking thing like on google it's like hella muddy ugg photos it's like yeah my uggs get used um wait i i need to like find this picture that i was just at because it was fucking crazy this one okay um but i got made fun of last night at a bar i got literally made fun of and guess what you know what maturing is i said nothing well you were sober yeah also granted i was just in shock because i like not to make it seem like oh my god i got made fun of for the first time i know i get

made fun of because i go out in public and for the most part i'm like obnoxious rowdy loud i know people are whispering about me but it's rare that i hear someone fully just outwardly talking about me but it literally felt like a moment where you know like the stereotype of like oh like just like i hate using this word but like kind of like pick me girl moment of like the girl who's making fun of me it was like a girl and a guy making fun of me and it literally felt like pick me moment of i'll and they were ugly as fuck yeah of course like drinking beer on a sunday night you fucking loser get a get a fucking life loser no literally okay but especially at this bar like you're drinking a fucking beer like actually get a life so you're so cool it was this bar that has

like a photo booth that i've actually been made fun of so this isn't my first time being made fun of last time i was at this bar i got made fun of. Last time I was at this bar, I got made fun of because last time I was there, I go there for the photo booth. Like I don't give a fuck. Like that's not crazy. What's crazier is like you pulling up on a Sunday night to drink beer. Like what's crazier? Me going to be pretty in a photo booth or you pulling up on a Sunday night at 1145 walking in to have a beer, like get a grip. But I guess it is is a bar so i'm just being nitpicky like so worried about my sister you cannot marry a murderer i was sick but i am healing returning to w network and stack tv the west side ripper is back if you're not killing these people then

who is that's what i want to know starring kaylee cuoco and chris messina the only investigating i'm doing these days is who shit their pants killer message to you yesterday this is so dangerous i gotta get out of this based on a true story new season mondays at nine eastern and pacific only on w stream on stack tv anyway i'll put like i'll we'll put up what i was like wearing and like what i looked like and i think they were just having a moment where like this fucking dimwit, fucking airhead, dumb bitch walked into the wrong place. Like, does she even know where she's at? Like, that was the vibe I was giving. And when I went into the photo booth originally. It's in Silver Lake.

Yeah. Which makes a lot of sense. But when I went to the photo booth originally, I felt them staring at me. And I thought to myself, I was like, I already felt a bunch of people staring at me and I thought to myself I was like I I already felt a bunch of people staring at me because I knew before we even went to this bar I'm like people are gonna see what I'm wearing and be like this fucking idiot why she's so dressed up but I don't give a fuck because it's a nice ass outfit and you could kiss my goddamn ass you're the loser who walks out of the house looking like shit because you don't care about self-respect or

like looking good and I do because it makes me feel fun but I knew I was gonna get looks I was getting fucking stared at like a goddamn clown when I was in there I was like whatever I go to the photo booth I felt them looking at me and I was like no they're not looking at me like I'm just being in my head whatever then at this bar there's this like big water jug thing and I went to go get water because I wasn't drinking and I was like I need water i walk over to get water and their table is like right here like if you're the water jug they're right here like it's like kind of that close i'm the sparkling water jug wait what is it it's like the gatorade jugs what are those what you got oh the sparklets yeah sparklets water i don't know what that is um but i was there filling up and i feel their eyes

burning a hole into me and they're just looking at me and giggling and laughing and like i kind of glanced over and i was like oh yeah they are fully staring at me and then i was just kind of looking at them in my peripheral and thinking and i was like they are fully making fun of me and we're not far enough and they're not hiding it too that was the crazy part is like they weren't like whispering they were fully just dead staring at me and I was like oh they actually think because I look so pretty right now that I am a fucking imbecile like that's what it felt like it felt like in their head they were like she's so fucking stupid we could literally talk about her out loud right now and she won't hear it because she's actually stupid and that's what it felt like i didn't say anything because i was like i was honestly just shocked if i was there i

would have beat their ass thank you babes these hands do not discriminate thank you that means a lot to me like i'm just having a man in my life who will stand up for me i'll take anybody down thank you but will you though, I've been working out. People have been saying, according to Kaia, that I look bigger. Oh, I know what looks bigger. I had a good penis day yesterday. I had to tell Kaia and Mason that. Okay.

Yeah. But you didn't tell me that. Yeah, because you saw it. Yeah, but it just didn't look very different to me um so i go back and all my friends are sitting at this table kind of next to theirs and then i was loud because i wanted them to know that i fucking heard them and i was like i said to all them i was like those people right there are literally making fun of me right now and i've never had that happen where someone's just loudly blatantly looking at me and making

fun of me. And I don't know what to do about it. And I'm not going to say anything, but it's fucking crazy. And I was basically just doing that because I was going to be in there for a while longer. And I was like, I want them to just not do that again. Like, I know you're doing it. So don't fucking do it again. Or else I'm going to say the meanest thing to you ever.

And you're going to think about it for the rest of your fucking life that the bimbo bitch in this shitty fucking bar called you an idiot but then I'm just like whatever I'm gonna leave because I was like I have a headache I'm not like feeling good again I just want to go and everybody's like yeah we'll just leave we're standing like everybody crowds around like I wish there was a way to, like, show you the, like, layout of this bar. But basically, we all end up standing right next to their table because everybody decides to get water before we leave. And I hear him, like, the guy at the table basically be like, dude, like, you know she definitely didn't think, like, this was the vibe.

And, like, it's just so funny. Like, where did she think she was, like, blah, blah, blah like i straight up would have pulled out his fucking hair and snapped his glasses and broke every fucking bone in his finger that's crazy that's such a weird high school level exactly and i guarantee he did not wash his balls or under all the flaps on his fucking skin and i hope he fucking burns in hell like he will burn in hell like i couldn't believe it and then this was the other thing so then when we're standing there i made sure that i couldn't see them because i was like i don't want them to see my face i don't want them to say anything about me anymore and then smelled like dry spit my back was kind of like this like the girl's back was to mine but i was like this i don't know if i'm still yeah

you can't also can't hear you oh my god my earring also flew off i was gonna scream i was like this basically with the girl and i heard him say that and like she's facing him so my back is fully to him he says that and then like i kind of turned a little because i wanted to see if they were still looking at me they are the girl fully turned the girl fully turns her body looks at me up and down and starts laughing and then turns back to the guy and she was like no exactly and like starts laughing again and i like couldn't believe it and then as i was walking by i just said like really loud again i didn't say anything mean and i should have because i could have fucking read them both to the ground and up because they were so i'm sorry they were

fucking ugly like cigarette stained teeth fucking gaps in their teeth disgusting rotten british person teeth it was one of those vibes where it was like i think that girl was like so down to make fun of me because she felt superior because she like was like i don't need makeup and like extra clothes and like whatever and i'm like okay maybe you do though because like you're not serving right now and like where is your sleigh like it's not present it's not in the room with us so why are you talking about me but as we're walking by i was just like i think they've been making fun of me for the past 20 minutes and i don't understand and i don't think i'm chirping but it's fucking insane that they think that's okay to just talk about someone like that

so loud and then i just said that and i like didn't even look at them to see if they heard me we're finally getting a taste of our own medicine but the thing is why they were so like you know what it felt like it felt like they were like they were comedians like does that make sense like it felt like they were the kind of people to like go and do stand-up and be like so i saw this fucking idiot bitch what's up with girls now like that's what it felt like they were giving like they were there to perform to each other on a sunday night because they were bored and they like need a few beers to start being funny and it was just crazy and i like couldn't believe it see this is my rule and i was mature and i didn't say anything mean to them this is my rule you can talk shit about anybody you want

make fun of anyone you want but as long as they don't hear you because this is what happens it's just so crazy i just like couldn't believe I've never heard anyone be that loud again. I know, bitch, I've like sustained myself to the Internet, let alone to being an obnoxious fucking freak for my whole life. So I know people talk about me. I know people fucking hate me and think I'm annoying and shit or whatever. Well, you are. Yeah. OK.

Yeah. It's just like every time I degrade myself,'re so quick to like agree jump in yeah well because you know you the best like you know yourself better than anybody does so i'm just like agreeing oh okay i think like sometimes when i say that i need you to say like that's not true well i would be lying oh okay i guess i can respect that should we talk about um or i'll just get into it i'll just get into it y'all so then i have a question for you kai have you been getting pregnancy content on your for you page like pregnant people like cute little babies like all that shit yeah well i've gotten a lot of like pregnant women on my view page but it's all girls that i got pregnant that i'm like friends with and i think that you're an absent father

yeah like why would you even like admit to that that's not a flex maybe that's not the flex you think it is well it's cool that i have sex as men we are put here to spread our seed as far as possible that's why our stamina is so high and that's why we don't get pregnant and so we can like plant our seed and spread our gene pool as far as possible because that's just how what that's just how to have you though no i haven't um got any pregnancy okay maybe you're getting it because like you know when you're like literally on the same wi-fi someone you get their feed can you just say yes yes i have okay so this proves my theory um that proves my theory so we're starting to think that the government is putting cute babies and pregnancy content on everybody's tiktok for you pages and their feeds because our generation is having a very very small amount of babies like no one is making babies

we're like such we're like not doing it and i feel like they're trying to like incentivize us with like this cute baby content and it's probably like oh look how cute my pregnancy bump is oh look how cute my baby is like you should have one because population collapse is going to happen very soon if we don't and in 30 years when our generation is 60 and retiring and our children are supposed to be taking over there's not going to be anybody to take over and the entire world is going to collapse the world is going to heal it's healing yeah that's literally what it is um but yeah the government is putting pregnancy content on your for you pages to get you pregnant that's how i

feel but then i'm also like maybe it's because we're all in our mid-20s now and it's just showing The government is putting pregnancy content on your For You pages to get you pregnant. That's how I feel. But then I'm also like, maybe it's because we're all in our mid-20s now and it's just showing other people in their mid-20s and most people in their mid-20s are getting their fucking life going and they're like, all right, I'm gonna have a baby and like settle down and like have a family. I love the joke where it's like, we don't need any more influencers. Like we need electricians and plumbers. Like it's okay.

You don't have to make viral content online like please go to school to be a plumber i think you should do that because like honestly like you're okay at what you do but it's just you could be better at other things like building homes and stuff i that's like the meanest thing someone's like ever said to me no like you're funny but like it would be funnier if you just, like, did a real job. Like, as a bit? Yeah. Yeah.

But you were really good at it and you, like, stuck to it for, like, 30 years. Oh, yeah. If it was, like, a bit, like, an Andy Kaufman, like, level. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Except, like, you, like, really did a job. Yeah, that sounds awesome. Well, shit. Yes, I andy kaufman is like yes like i i get it did y'all think andy kaufman was being serious in that one video yikes yikes where is your comedic radar oh cool my shoe just keeps like like literally degrading in front of me like this is like crazy also you mean deteriorating

it's not like degrading you was it degrading you like it can't i think degrading can mean anything decomposing well um yeah i agree i'm just surrounded by, like, yes men. I'm surrounded by yes men. And it's, like, really shocking. When we agree with you, you say that we're fake. When we disagree with you, you say that you're a victim and everyone's against you. Exactly, because I am a victim. So what are we supposed to do, dude? Be fucking normal.

I don't know. Just don't come. Like, I need. You're a fashion victim because this outfit is horrendous why are you laughing because she fucking body kai kai did you wear did you wear that sweater on our rainy day waterfall hike yesterday yes did you wash it no but pink eye you're good i didn't need to wash it i don't smell bad you can't laugh at my outfit damn yeah you can't laugh at his outfit let me just say this you guys can i just say one what was that voice you're well that's just how you

said it your outfit let me just say. You guys just wait until I start dressing. You'll be looking like ranch. Oh, my God. Well, here's something I wrote down. Balsamic. Hot guys are so nasty because they know they're hot. And that's just super nasty. And it feels very controlling and manipulative.

And I think men are so nasty. No, actually, that and manipulative. And I think like men are so nasty. No, actually that one selfie of Timothy, like I have to text him about it because he actually looked so cute. See, I saw him in the grocery the other day and like we were just like twerking on each other and just like dabbing each other up and like hanging out. And like we got like a drink at the cafe and we just like caught up. And I was like, damn, you're like kind of a nice guy. Kind of.

Did you have bad experiences with him before? Yeah. Yeah. can be fucking hit me yeah but i told you he went to therapy for so it's like okay he's like not yeah yeah yeah and it was only you so i don't feel like that crazy about it because i think you deserved it people do change people do sometimes i see you and i do want to hit you though but like so i get it because it's like hittable yeah you're just like you just have like a very like drew is getting his stuff out of the dryer and i wanted so badly to close the fucking door on his body it was so perfect it would have been so fun instead i just hit your back a bunch but back shots yeah i gave you back shots but yeah like like i am breathable also like when i say hot men because we all know that

like i do find certain men hot but like like young men like around our age yo you stepped on my fucking toe and it hurt so fucking bad that hurts she hit me she fucking hit me reaction she fucking hit me your nerves are literally frozen oh my god um you did stomp on my big toe and it's my nail is gonna fall off i think i'm not joking it's gonna turn black and fall off well it's not my fault you're wearing fucking shoes that are paper thin um but yeah something about it is just so nasty and all i can think about right now the one example i wish i remember who i saw that made it made me think about because it was a tiktok of like this guy

and something about him i was like you made this with evil intent in your heart like you're not feeling yourself you made this as like i'm gonna heart. Like, you're not feeling yourself. You made this as, like, I'm going to do something. Like, I don't know. It just felt very evil. But then all I can think about is, like, we need to shout this fucking TikTok out. Because I think it is literally the funniest one ever. The girl taking the cup from that guy.

Oh, yeah. And it's like, there was nothing in there. I fucking knew it. I fucking knew it i fucking knew it um well while india finds that tiktok like i fear that my mind have you found it yeah wait i have to show it to kai have you wait have you seen this guy before no so his whole thing is that like he's hot and he drinks coffee like literally i'm not kidding like and then he like sells shirts question mark like i don't really know this is

me just dissing on this guy for no reason but like his he did this once oh i have seen this guy yeah he did it once and then people were like you're hot and you look like what's that one actor whatever but this girl it's like oh my god I fucking knew it I fucking knew it you're just like the others you're no different from the fucking rest it was empty the whole fucking time cause he's always with that damn cup

and I will say it always does look empty cause he lifts it so fast and then he slowly sips but i fucking knew it i fucking knew it well i fear that the tides have finally changed and i'm not gonna mention them by name specifically but i think a lot of my faves are evil sinister greedy beings and i'm not gonna name them by names but just seeing the way some people have behaved recently i'm like oh like you're you're dark there's darkness there there's like a there's an energy yeah there's a vibe sick and twisted there's also um i what i will say because i were on the same page there is just a chance we're losing our mind and we're like actually heading towards like a break dude

yesterday was really fucking no and then like three days ago and the building yeah the building there's a building at the like really close by our house. And we looked at it and like, I didn't say anything. Cause I was like, if I say this out loud, I will sound insane. And like, I was talking about Inya or talking to Inya about something else. And when the thought pumped into my head and then Inya said exactly what I was thinking. We looked at this building and we were like, oh my God, like it is a completely different color.

There is no way they painted this overnight because yesterday it was a different color today it was a new color it's like a stone building yeah it was marble on the walls and we were like i would have noticed if there were marble coat like if there was marble coating this building like why am i just now seeing this like this is new this is fresh and they also took down their pride sign which is crazy it's a little suspect but yeah okay but it literally scared the fuck out of us and then i was trying to explain this to somebody on the phone yesterday but they were like no that's normal and i was like i don't think you understand what i'm saying and like that's why you can't grasp it but like it's like the common saying like if, if you think you're going insane, then you're not.

Because you're sane enough to, like, keep a hold of your mental state. Yeah. But in those moments, I literally feel like enough. Like, I genuinely feel like nothing is real. Or, like, everything's been real. And I've been somewhere else. And I just got placed here. And I'm, like, seeing things.

And it's scaring me. And it's been happening a lot. Last night on the drive home, like, it was so high def so high def and like it was so bright and colorful and beautiful. And I was just like, holy shit. Like this is real. I'm real. I'm like seeing you. You're real.

I'm hearing them talk in the back. And I'm like, y'all are real. Like, damn, all of this shit is actually real or it's all fake. And I'm just waking up up i know that's the scary thing is like i'm like oh my god it's everything looks so real right now because i had it yesterday too oh also basically we saw this building and like it looked real like for the first time ever it looked like a building and i was like dude buildings are like 3d structures and they're not like it's not this thing that if i crash my car into it would just fall back and like lay flat

like it was a building and i was like oh my god people are in there right now and it was really scary i don't believe that people are inside every building like i don't think i think we're the only people inside and then when we walk outside people just spawn like i'm not joking like there's no way there's people inside the house next to us and they're doing stuff in there yeah they're doing evil things it just not makes sense um but then yesterday i had the same thing while drew was having his awesome dream yeah so i i'm gonna explain it because i don't give a fuck because like what else am i gonna say but so yesterday we me kai and mason went on like a waterfall hike and it was really pretty and it started raining and we were like oh let's get like

a warm bowl of ramen after so we cruised to the ramen shop we got a bowl of ramen and then we all went our separate ways and when i got home i knocked out like almost immediately i was like the most tired i've ever been in my entire life and i just like fell asleep because my belly was full and warm and it was a yummy bowl of ramen and it put me on my ass so halfway i set my alarm for 30 minutes because i'm like oh i don't want to sleep all night like that would suck balls because i was like oh i'm really tired so I set my alarm for 30 minutes. Cause I'm like, Oh, I don't want to sleep all night. Like that would suck balls. Cause I was like, Oh, I'm really tired. So I set my alarm for 30 minutes or 26 minutes. And I woke up at four 20 on the dot and I saw it and I was like, Ooh, I can sleep like a little bit longer. So I snoozed and I woke up like six minutes later and I just turned my alarm off instead of like actually waking up. And I think I had like entered REM sleep or something like right after that

because like I had another set of like awful, awful, awful, like fucking dreams. Like I, after these dreams, I was like, like visibly shaken up.

Like I, I was like, Oh, this like has completely altered my life forever. Like what happened in these dreams, like really fucked me up and i fully wasn't like awake yet i was still in that like half sleep half awake state and i was like in inya's room like tearing up talking about these dreams he was fully about to cry i was like

really embarrassing because i thought i lived and loved a man but then i realized that it was just a a boy so and you're ugly so oh my god and i never loved you i could say the same okay oh now you say it now you say it but you weren't saying it last night when i was giving you back shots oh i love you so much i love you i love you it's always i love you until it's not write about that write about it yeah but i don't write this dream so you know previously i had a dream where i got shot and i woke up feeling the pain and i what oh and then um a couple days later literally yesterday in my nap i dreamed that you know that other dream i had where it was like me dying over and over again and waking up in different people's bodies well i did that a fucking game and i was like oh i thought that was one and done like i cannot do that again and it happened again and like it is

so hard to describe the way i felt but the first time it was me and kai and we were driving around like my um neighborhood in our golf carts and like one thing about me one thing i am genuinely terrified of like it is like my one of my deepest fears i don't know where this fear came from but it is driving next to bodies of water in a golf cart like i i have had multiple panic attacks like just like they're gonna roll in the water the ground's gonna cave in underneath us like we're gonna it's gonna drive into the water we're gonna fall off the bridge whatever it is like i hate driving in golf carts next to water it's like the scariest thing in the world to me and i don't know why but in this dream we were in a golf cart and there was like a really

tall bridge with like a deep ravine like hundreds of feet and like we pull up to this house and and kai was like oh i put in the wrong or i was like this is the wrong house and kai was like oh i put in the wrong address and we were like turning around and we got to this bridge and um we were driving over it and kai was like fucking around and like swerving the car a little bit like just to make it so like um what like classic oh yeah exactly always just fucking playing but he's like playing around and like he was getting really close to the edge because he knew it was like a fear of mine i would freak out and then eventually he wanted to see you squirming

your little i know he wanted to see me writhing around but anyways he like fucks up and presses the gas instead of the brakes and we drive off like we roll off this fucking bridge down into this ravine and kai is like freaking out and like i look over at him and he's like freaking the fuck out and then all of a sudden he goes calm and we like look at each other because we know we're about to hit the bottom of the lake and like kai starts crying a little bit too because he's a bitch i was like i was so normal and like masculine i know like well you would cry if you were about to but no genuinely kai was crying i saw tears rolling down his face and i was like freaking out but obviously i know like you would cry if you were about to fall to your death genuinely kai was crying i

saw tears rolling down his face and i was like freaking out but obviously i was like what what am i gonna do like i can't do anything about this and so we hit the water and like the golf cart hits the side of the ravine and rolls over in the water and like it's deep water so then we're like i can like feel the water around me i see the water and like i'm like trying to get up i'm trying to get out and i'm like gasping for air and i can't get my breath and i just fucking drown and i die and then i hear this buzzing like like really loud in my head as i'm dying and then i hear like a computer like chime like a startup sounded like a computer and like i just wake up in another body and i'm like i'll keep this one short but there was like a girl with me that like wanted nothing to do with me or i didn't want anything

to do with her and she was like all over me and i hated it and i was like pushing her off and i was like please get away from me and her parents were even like they're like egging it on and it was really fucking weird and then i was with two other people and they were playing like arcade games we were at like chucky cheeses or some shit we were like young and um the person the one of the people that i'm with drops their like card a card like credit card or game card down the side of this like arcade machine and i reach in there and i grab it and then i start getting like electrocuted and I feel like the electrocution going through my body and like it's like really painful and really hot and I'm like freaking me out freaking the fuck out I've never been electrocuted I don't know how I know what this feels like and I'm like trying to pull my hand away but I can't and then I die again hear the

buzzing and ringing sound and I wake up in another body and this time I'm in the front seat of like a really modern supercar and like the the way I can describe the feeling that I had was like I was in like the 1920s like and like I was used to those cars but like I was like terrified in the front seat of this car because I was like how the fuck is this happening how are we going this fast how are we swerving down this road and it was also someone that looked like you kai that was driving um and you were like swerving and i was like please slow down please slow down you don't slow down we eventually crash and then right when we crashed and i died the third time i like wake up in real life and i was like freaking the fuck out you know what i realize is it's higher powers giving me movie ideas and i

just keep giving them away and like this is fully like a great like you know magnolia like all the coincidences like all the shit it adds up like this is the same thing except like we're groundhog daying but waking up as different people with the same mind um and yeah that was my dream and i freaked the fuck out and i was like genuinely terrified for the rest of the day i know he was literally so shaken up and almost cried. And I had nothing to give him because I was just like, well, while that was happening to you, I was in here awake for the whole day. Having another like disassociative meltdown because I was laying in bed. And when Drew went to go take a nap, it was like a cloudy day out.

So like perfect nap vibes. But I had woken up at like 12. So I was like, I Drew went to go take a nap, it was like a cloudy day out. So like perfect nap vibes. But I had woken up at like 12. So I was like, I don't need to take a nap. It was like 4 p.m. And I was like, maybe I just go lay down. And I went into my room and like laid down with Azul. And then I was looking at Azul and I was like, dude, Azul looked so real yesterday. Like it was actually freaking me out.

Azul was my cat. She looked so real. And I think it was like the lighting in my room. And it just felt like the light that was coming into my room had never come into my room before like it was like such a specific lighting it was like moody dark but like i could see everything so clearly we really do have a gas leak in this fucking house i know and i could see everything so clearly and i was just like looking around i was like annazool and i could i swore i could see every hair on her body and it was freaking me out and i was like dude you look so real and like she was moving around and like being sweet and i was like

dude this is like such a like like like like animal like it's like such an intimate connection i have with this animal and i've never spoken to it but i like know it so well and i was like freaking the fuck out and then i looked over to my dresser and I have this like um actually really fucking nice dresser by the way fuck you um and it's like this space age like yellow dresser and I like looked over at it and it was a yellow color I've never seen in my life and I never saw on this dresser and then that started freaking me out because I was like dude I've never looked at it like I've just never looked at this dresser it's been in my room for like two years and I've never looked at it and now I'm looking at it and I'm like seeing this hue of yellow I've never seen. And I like

literally was freaking the fuck out. And then I was like, oh my God, everything looks so real. And then I looked out the window and like the sunset was like so gorgeous. Cause it was like one of those sunsets when half the city is like super dark from like it being rainy. And then the other half is like, just like normal. And like, there are like scattered clouds. So it just like looked gorgeous outside. I was like, I need to go outside and like look at this and like see it but then I was like I'm scared to go outside because I feel like something bad is gonna happen to me if I leave the house right now so I can't leave the house and I was just like standing in my room like listening to music and looking out my windows and then I was like I kept seeing people walk

around I was like what are they thinking do they think it's nice out? Like as nice as I do. And then I was just freaking out and like looking around my room and everything looked so real and it was scaring me. And then that passed. And then I was back to just being on my iPhone. So I was back in reality. Yeah, go back to reality. I was grounded back to a reality with my iPhone. And then, yeah, we, you know what it is, is it's just like reality yeah go back to reality i was grounded back to a reality with my iphone

and then yeah we you know what it is is it's just like the first time we've looked up from our iphones ever and we're just seeing the real world around us and we're like wow this is actually really big and beautiful and it has a lot to offer but then we have to drown those thoughts out because they're scary and change is scary um but you know what i've been thinking about recently and i'm being dead serious when i say this why don't me and drake kind of look like twins like we kind of look the same we have the same vibe like if you look at his eyes his eyes are too far apart but like we kind of look like the same look at him i swear i'm not even playing like i

looked at him the other day and i was like oh my god why are me and drake twins let's see i unfollowed him a long time ago because he was pissing me off also me and harry yes we look alike me and timmy that's my boy i know we look the same um yeah i just have a bunch of doppelgangers do you just think that because of his beard no I just think we look the same hmm well save that picture we'll take one of me posing like that and y'all will be the judge

the thing is I'm on his IG and for some reason I'm like why does okay that's not you babe no see that is me i you know what i like y'all don't look alike but i i i understand what you're saying but it really is just like the facial hair the energy the vibe you should go get your like facial hair like done up by a barber and let's see what i'm cutting it all off i don't know but before you do that can we like line it up and like see what you would look like if you were like normal kept because you're very like you're abnormal india has been like trying so hard to change my appearance recently she's like you're like what if we like played around and like

dyed your hair and then what if we played around and cut all your split ends off like oh we could we could like shave your beard and like get that off of you too like no have you ever thought that it's because i'm somebody who's so used to changing my appearance but now that i am like so stuck like this and i'm like this is we also i hate that as i've been talking i've been getting more congested and it's so nasty because i keep sucking up my snot i'm really sorry i just need to give head so that it's like a neti pot kind of a god the suction yeah it works but yeah i think it's more like i'm not the person i fell in love with yeah you felt like you found attraction for i don't think i'm you just like let go of yourself and i think you're trying to change me to be to mold me into the

thing you want me to be but i'm my own being and i have my own wants and needs you know what i want to do is you know like what are they called like the pottery tables oh what is that called oh from when i hit you yeah cry me a river bitch what are they called the tables the like pottery wheels is that what it's called like a pottery wheel yeah i think so sorry i'm having trouble drew on that and like make sure his wieners in the middle and then mold his balls and wiener. And get a bunch of water, but it's like water-based lube and like. I'm having like a hard time laughing because my leg and toe hurts.

I can make the rest of you hurt really fucking bad if you don't shut up. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Well, I have a couple more things written down that I wanted to talk about. The next being, oh, that's Moan Reveal. I did a Moan Reveal on IG. Go check it out.

So our friend Jester, their birthday was yesterday. And the day before yesterday, they threw a little rave big rave and it was the event of the weekend of the year of the month of the century like it was the best time ever um but it was actually really fun yeah it was so fun but at that party there was someone that i fancied and I was like, ooh, I want you, I want you. And we kept like locking eyes and like making eye contact and it was really, really sweet. But I'm too scared to interact with anybody other than my friends because of when I was rejected

in grade school asking that girl to the dance. It stuck with me for the rest of my life. But she has stinky fucking uggs now, so doesn't matter what the fuck was i saying you were saying you fancied someone you couldn't go up oh yeah i couldn't go up to them because i was terrified and so then i ended and i pointed in yet to this person i was like look at them like they're so bad like i want them so bad like they're hot whatever and and he, sure, why don't you go say hi? And I was like, absolutely not. Or say, I'm leaving.

I'm leaving. Yeah. Absolutely not. Anyways, next day I was like, I want to find who that was. I really want to find who it was. And Jester posts, like, a slideshow on their TikTok. Which, you know, this is going to, like, so people are going to look at the slideshow and like there's

there's a few people on there so i don't give a fuck and they will never guess um but i uh screenshotted it and sent it to jester and i was like who is this i need to know who this is like please tell me who this is and jester like didn't respond for an hour and i was like oh god like who is that and jester responded was like drew that's my fucking uncle like you were hitting on my uncle the entire night and i was like freaking the fuck out i was like oh hell no i thought it was really funny and so did jester but yeah that is so funny when drew told me that i like cracked the fuck up because i wouldn't have guessed that but also that's so sweet yeah um i think and then my toxic response was like okay what does that mean no that was my

response i was like okay give me their number oh now what link me link me let's link and build let's link and build why do me and oscar isaac and pedro pascal have to go to paris together or have a threesome together yeah we need to go to paris together or have a threesome together yeah we need to go to paris oh so you said that shit to me and i didn't understand what you know and it was such a bar yeah let's see well i already spoiled it but eiffel tower eiffel tower yeah drew sent me like this slideshow of like pedro and oscar being friends i was like wait oh i didn't say anything i just sent a picture of the eiffel tower back and drew was like what does that mean i was like i know i was like um okay or you said we need to go to paris oh yeah all three of us need to go to paris um but yeah that slideshow was fucking crazy

literally don't even get me started i don't like last of us but like i might watch it i i that's kind of my vibe too. But. To see him be big and strong. Ew. He's so big and strong. He's a real boy. Like that's the thing. He could probably pick me up. I'm seeing what Oscar Isaac is in recently.

That's coming out. I just only remember scenes from a marriage. Oh, he was in this new marvel thing called um moon night you're not gonna get me to watch that i don't care who you fucking put in that yeah never bitch you could reincarnate michael jackson and get him dancing in the fucking avengers circle and i wouldn't watch that shit i wouldn't fucking give a fuck this is literally anti-marvel anti-avengers like i'm so sorry and if you fuck with it honestly that's gorgeous that's beautiful um but you are abnormal i'll leave it at that i think like the majority of people like

marvel i just can't do super fucking heroes i can't do it i don't get it i never will i never have i also can't like the comedy style of it i think it's like also what turns us off because there's like such a like it's so like i got it the hulk did what what the heck that's literally so silly um but yeah i just can't do it also saying someone is abnormal as a diss that's in because saying someone is abnormal is actually really fucking mean like i said that to somebody yesterday and i was like it was like as a joke and it was funny but i was like if that was real that would have been so mean like you're abnormal i take it as a compliment so next time somebody you don't like post a tiktok just comment abnormal we should take that you don't like posts a TikTok, just comment abnormal.

Don't do that. That's so mean. We should take normal out of the dictionary. Okay. We'll do that then. Is that what you want to hear? Yeah. It's done.

That's exactly what I want to hear. Dictionaries are literally useless now. We have iPhones. All right. want to hear dictionaries are literally useless now like we have iphone all right well thank you guys so much for watching this episode um oh wait actually before we go this is just random but i did have a dream that we were in a a plane crash two times in one day and we survived each other but and it was like a plane crash that it was like this company had like really like malfunctioning planes we got on and it was like really dipping a lot and like it was like the worst takeoff ever and i had turned to you and we were in business class because we were like so slay but also the business class these

were literally like fucking lawn chairs like it was so like rinky dinky but i turned to you and i was like i was like this plane is gonna go down like i was like it's gonna fucking go down and you were like and yeah i know and i was like i love you and we like said our i love yous but like for some reason we had this like blind confidence where we're like i'll see you in like a second though like it's okay like whatever it crashes we crashed on the highway like it was like basically landed like this person it was like a female pilot she's so sick makes sense crashing no it makes sense because she saved us because the plane was the one that had the malfunction she didn't do anything wrong but she crashed like she landed on the highway oh my god she landed on the highway nobody was her but then the highway was like in like

like uh like very it felt like we like were in brazil for some reason or some shit but like it was literally the highway was next to like a river and like it was gorgeous and then we landed everyone survived and i literally stepped back and took the most lit id picture of like this plane with like a broken wing and like everybody like kind of standing around and then i posted on my instagram i was like lol what the hell and like i that was my comment like my caption was like lol huh that's like the plane crashed um and then the like the like airline was like trying to comp us by getting on another plane and the pilot who told me she was like watch the same thing is gonna happen like these planes are all fucked up like i've been trying to say this to them whatever we got on

the plane anyway and then it happened again and we survived again and we were like we were literally so hyped we were like damn we were so gassed we were like who can say they survived two plane crashes in a day and we were so gassed and we were like oh next episode is gonna be lit like so fucking annoying which is like way too real because anytime anything happens we're always like oh my god like gotta talk about that we have to talk about that and then that's it but before we end it i'm gonna do some media um oh just you you think just you well you were trying to end it early without no i always say thank you guys for watching like recently and then we do media but whatever um vespertine the entire album by bjork um i know i've said it once and i'll say it again best bjork album i don't give a what your opinion is it's so good so so good

um and then oh hold on hold on hold on i need to get the title of this song. Okay, I actually don't know which one it is. But it's off of Oil of Every Pearl's On Insides by Sophie. There's a song on there specifically, but just listen to that as well. Masterpiece. And then I've been playing... and then i've been playing oh i've been playing that sample also one day randomly i ran into that sample in the wild and it freaked me the fuck out and then i saw a tiktok a couple days ago saying that they did the same thing um i think tiktok um tiktok spotify if you have listened to a song before or like constantly, they'll throw the sampled one in your Discover Weekly because that happens to me a lot.

Like when the Tyler album came out and I was listening to it a lot, all the samples were in my Discover Weekly the next week. That's lit as fuck. But I've been playing, I think it's called Planetary Evolution, but it's like a cookie clicker style game where you click and make a bunch of money. And I have officially broke the top 300 top earners of all time. I am going for number one. Well, you're probably 400 now because we just did the podcast. I know. I have to get back to clicking.

Well, my Discover Weekly is saving my feelings for you blossom deary act in a smoochie i spice princess diana i spice duh drinking my cup by kirko bangs kirko bangs media of the week we should start calling it discover weekly because you said my discover weekly on accident yeah we'll do that if spotify gives us the money just give me a little something hey spotify we want to sign with you and then finest hour by the sundays the sundays is probably one of my top five artists um and that's it. That's that. Oh, my God. Remember when I was, like, obsessed with the Everything But The Girl album?

Everything But The Bagel album? Like, that wasn't my first time being obsessed with Amplified Heart, but every now and then it just creeps back up. Oh, and I've been listening to The Cranberries. I've just been in my, like, 90s, 2000s, like, girl kind of being like, ah. I'm 13 again and smoking cigarettes by the big green electrical box at the park. We actually hung out by that a lot after school with the YMCA counselor because he would let us, like, leave to go get ice cream. But he was the dance teacher, so it wasn't, like, it wasn't sus.

He was just, he was, like teacher so it wasn't like it wasn't sus he was just he was like i think literally like 22 and just was like living out older brother like fantasy of like do y'all want to just go get ice cream he was actually the only cool counselor it was so annoying do you ever smoke a cigarette i think i smoked my first cigarette at the green machine or the green box i think everybody i don't think i smoked my first cigarette until I was like 20 or something. Like I think it had to have been in LA. Loser. And then like the first time I really started smoking was when we went to Paris for the first time.

Me and Kai are beefing for some reason. No, we're not. Well, that's because you said he stings like mildew, which he does. But like you didn't have to call him out. Whenever you don't let me hit for like a week, I do start get pissed off at you that's literally me though okay everybody oh that is one thing that we previously mentioned but it was very true everybody in la wants me oh yeah it's crazy it's annoying everybody wants me so bad i'm like it's annoying no one flirts with me but like i'm not flirtable with and i also like when people flirt with me i literally oh i'm so mean

you are well because i just don't know what to do with that like when people flirt with me i literally be like once once it registers in my head because i'm talking to somebody and then they'll say the one actually flirtatious thing with me and i'll literally just like because i'm registering it i'll look at them and be like it's literally cringe flirting with people is cringe as fuck yeah i'm like okay yeah um and then i like just keep talking and i'm like i'm gonna go find my friends because you've scared me now now you've scared me now. Now you've made me very scared. But yeah. All right.

Well, everyone wants Drew. Everybody here wants you. Mm-hmm. You know that song? Mm-hmm. No, I don't. I'll serenade you with it right now. You don't know this song?

If I swear to. Why the fuck would I know this song? Cuz it's fucking Jeff Buckley bitch one of the greatest fucking artists ever Bye.