Emergency Intercom - would you trust enya as your lawyer

Episode Date: July 7, 2023

If enya was on that submarine she would have made sure to have sex one last time. Drew is straight and he has hard evidence (a baby) Go to https://www.Zocdoc.com/INTERCOM and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. This podcast is sponsored by Better Help. Visit https://www.BetterHelp.com/INTERCOM today to get 10% off your first month.  Follow Enya on Insta: @EnyaUmanzor Follow Drew on Insta: @DrewPhillips09 To listen to the podcast on YouTube: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercomPodYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: bit.ly/EmergencyIntercom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music, and it's not just sounds and instruments, it's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Merch is out. Merch is out. Today! Merch is out as this episode is out. Thank you guys so much for supporting us for the past two years, which is terrifying. I don't think there's anything in my life I've done as consistently as this. And honestly, don't be surprised if you never see my face again. Welcome to this. Wow, that was a really masculine clap on your part just now.

Thank you. Thank you, actually. Yeah, you've been working on it. I've been practicing it. People are now pointing out that I have a jawline. They haven't ever seen it before, but I got a jawline. haven't ever seen it before but I got a jawline I do it's there it's there that's the new addition to emergency intercom now that we've passed 100 episodes Drew is fully just accepting his manliness yeah my jawline fantasy um and like

oh my god you're literally gonna cut me off yeah I'm gonna cut you up say what you're gonna say say what you're gonna say no no like now you don't get it oh no i don't get to hear it it's a secret i mean it it was something very special but since you want to attack me like no please please share your secret like i don't know like now i feel bad because apparently it was such a big thing. Okay. I guess. Here it goes. Bitch, I feel like one of these fucking YouTubers. It can't be that serious. What are you going to do?

What did you do? So with the end of Pride Month, everybody knows. Yeah, I know. LGBT vibes. My sexuality has been a mystery for all this time and i've been claiming straight and like it's just like whatever i've been quote unquote straight baiting um but i just came on here to say that i am actually you're fucking joking right who the fuck is that um don't worry about who I am. Are you fucking joking?

No, I'm being dead serious. Wait, who are you? Don't worry about that. That's neither here nor there. I'm here to save your soul. You want to come out as a homosexual? Well, let me tell you this. That's a sin. And Jesus don't like that, and I don't like that. You shouldn't want it for yourself either.

This is so... Leave him alone. We don't have time for your stuff right now. I'm talking to the homosexual. What if I said I was joking? What if that... I'm hoping that it is a joke.

Just jokes and stuff like that. He can't be gay, but he can joke about being gay? He sure can because being gay is a joke that's disgusting actually facts i agree with that like okay okay okay well wait but you're a woman though you're a woman right and if he did we're just sitting here saying the simple truths he is gay and you are in a wheelchair did they wait um i know you can stand up i bet you can fucking say no i can't stand up did you stand up to your hairstylist when she styled your hair that way oh that's funny did you stand up to your mama when i made her squirt when i hit it from the back well that's you and my mama's business not mine sweetie if y'all want

to you're not gonna save your mother because she's like gay? She's beyond reach. She's 600 pounds anyway. So it's like, who cares? She'll be dead next week. Now back to the sister. Oh, no, I was lying. I was lying. I was just joking. Yeah, I was just joking the whole time. Like I would I would literally never participate in that lifestyle. That nasty, scary, disgusting lifestyle. Never that. That's funny because I literally have texts from Drew. Wait, I think I have.

Pull up the receipts. Yeah. He's told me, but he's like, OK. If you're going to bring up Grindr again, I've been telling you that is a pastor's app. I do not use that. I have a Grindr too. What are you doing there? I pray for people.

I need it clearly. He said, yo, can I tell you something? I said, if you say you're fucking gay, I'm going to kill myself. Like for real, for real. First hour of 2023 and I will kill myself. And he said, I literally kissed a boy and I liked it. I think I'm gay. Oh my God. I'm hoping that was a joke. I think I'm gay. Oh my God. I'm hoping that was a joke.

That was New Year's. His New Year's kiss was a boy. You're bringing in the new year with homosexuality? That's not how you say that word. It definitely is. Homosexuality. Homosexuality.

Sexuality. Homosexuality. T-T-T-T-T. Okay, well homosexuality, homosexuality, sexuality, TTTT. Well, actually I was lying the whole time. That was all a bit like I was just joking. I'm not gay, never that like. How did you get in here? Yeah, actually how did you do that? Don't worry about that, I've got ways.

I hear homosexuality, I come. I don't. Is that really what this is all about for you? Is it like a thing you get off on? No. That's a good point because you probably, you are really obsessed with like the idea of gay dudes touching. No, I'm obsessed with the fact that they're being blasphemous to my Bible

and to my Christian God. That's not right. I actually agree with that. I've been saying for a while now that I'm going to start my Christian arc. My religious arc. And keep that arc at your back

and start your Christian arc. Damn. Did you get your boobs done or are those natural no these are all natural oh whoa whoa whoa i'm sorry that's what i want to see this is what i like to see yeah okay wait so is that how you turn them out well that's another story that's um a little explicit i can't really say that here she is a christian woman but you will pull your boobs out well god made boobs and i'm a woman so why and i do like to suck boobs i really do like to suck boobs and play with them and stuff and you know what i'm happy for you and i'm glad for you

because you're out here saying that it was a mystery about your sexuality and the mystery to me is why you decided that that shirt was cute or why you have your camera on when you have a pimple on, but whatever. Are you talking about literally this single pimple? You can barely see that. You're just nifty.

How did you even know that was there? No, I'm talking about the one on your ass crack. Wait, why have you seen his ass crack? I it i can smell it from here it's postulating oh wait no we said leave we said leave okay you know what i'll do that yeah as long as you're not a homosexual and as long as you don't ever cut bangs i act i actually i think you have a lot to say about like people's looks it's crazy you're right yes she is ugly yes she probably stinks like mildew yes she probably has a dirty filthy fucking house with a sink full of dishes yes she probably has no bitches no swag no money no love but don't stoop down to her level

as you said probably for all those things none of those things were true well I'm glad you clarified so that's good the wonderful Terry Jo everybody give it up well thanks for coming in and harassing us we needed that we need more harassment in our lives thanks for letting me come in and harass

you of course but of course um what's funny is like i feel like usually when it comes to the gay stuff i'm like but and you see how in a moment she took it too far she took it too far even even even if i'm like not that you know like and i don't think you are you don't nothing about you is like that like um yeah um but that's what i'm saying is like you know how people are like oh like my thing with like whoa you have nail polish on your fucking nails yeah but like in like a cool like i gave oh and like an e-boy in an e-boy like yeah yeah exactly but the thing is too like that's why i'm always like oh like i don't i really don't like gay stuff, but I can respect it. Just don't do it in my face.

But then when I see someone attacking someone like you with that illness, I'm like, dude, that's fucked up. That's not something you can do. Illness? You don't choose to be normal or gay. You just end up that way. Normal? I think everything you just said is really wrong.

Oh, if I'm wrong, I don't want to be right but okay so i i really want to clear the air first though i don't know why i look like this day how do i turn on the filters do you know because i want to make yourself look pretty i actually don't know you seem like you would be an expert on putting on filters on your ugly face you seem like you would be able to put filters on your ugly face is it in apps no kai do you know how to um i think you go into settings preference i just don't know how to do that kind of where's settings go to zoom are you on windows oh i'm sweating i'm sweating really crazy right now wow oh um i don't know where it's at on windows oh i'm sweating i'm sweating really crazy right now wow oh um i don't know where it's at on windows but just it should be like three should be in your preferences yeah and then go to i look like i'm in one of the kylie jenders um photo booths at

their birthday parties oh wow yeah you actually really do if you put me in black and white it's good and then you put kenny black and white. And then you put Kenny's 26th birthday. It's like... Oh, it's touch up my appearance. Is it in the settings? How do I get to the settings on here? Oh my gosh, never used a computer before. You must be really fucking borrowed. Do you right click

or do you click view? Exit full screen maybe? I don't care. I don't care. But thank you, Kai. I'm just gonna live my life. Yeah, just live your life being fucking ugly. I just have never had a filter on before. Wait, am I still in

the call? Oh my god, Kai. Yes, you are because we can't stop hearing you. Oh, okay. Just kidding, bro. Let's go. I'm going to move my camera so when I'm looking at myself it looks like I'm looking to the camera. Okay. Just kidding, bro. Let's go. Kai is not dead.

It looks like I'm looking to the camera. Okay. Also, y'all, Kai is not dead or retired. I've been here the whole time. He's been here the whole time, but he's doing as a man should do and being silent. Yes. You've seen that that video of you is going viral. People are using it as an audio like the no man one.

Oh, I saw that and that one. And then there was another one where I was like, no matter what romantic relationship I'm in like you will just never be my girls stop i saved that i saved that on my phone because i was like that that one is so fucking cute and the one of me and you hugging is so fucking cute wait guys click this for a viral audio on tiktok if you are sad you should just fucking kill yourself because your life will not fucking change because you have no fucking motivation to make it better so why do you just think it will suddenly be better oh no no and you have dirty clothes all over your bed dirty clothes clean your dirty clothes duster's playing in the background because you're a fucking loser i like duster i like duster hello like oh my god like i've had enough

hey i do actually have something I want to talk about. Okay, then do it. I don't know if you've heard about this, but that submarine at the bottom of the ocean. You ever heard about that thing? It's been down there for three weeks now. The Titanic? Yeah, the one that went down to the bottom of the ocean to see the Titanic wait someone went in a submarine to go look at the Titanic yes I actually did watch a

video of a guy who was supposed to go on it and I was like dude we are so disconnected from the reality we were meant to be like forking towards because he this is after like i watched this video the dally one the way he kept mentioning it like and remember everyone died everyone is dead i'm so grateful that wasn't me like i was dying laughing at that shit too because i was like and he was like and i got his signature like it's probably the last thing he signed before he died like he's done like he's dead like his family's sad footage of him on the planet i actually have like a very hot take on it like everybody in the world is like making fun of these people for going to the bottom of the ocean um girl like they're dead and their families are sad like stop making jokes like dude i was thinking that like last night i

was watching a video and it was like i was on tiktok and every single one was people making jokes and i was like yes they're billionaires but this is this is kind of sad this is like crushed underwater dystopian level shit like it's sad like i wouldn't want them to do that about my family if they died girl i know you about to have some shit to say say it i was gonna say that's literally how our dead family members feel about us i literally wow where does that respect when it comes to me i mean like oh you fucked my dead stinky like mom like my my brother and grandpa and your mom are, like, threesome-ing and having and doing squirt squad games. Like, I say that shit.

Guys literally have respect for the dead. Like, really? Like, no room to talk. But, no, I, like, my take on it is I'm glad they died fast. Because everybody was, like, dying to know our take. I'm glad they died fast. Since you didn't finish that, I'm glad they died fast because everybody was like dying to know our take i'm glad they died fast since you didn't finish that i just like i'm glad they died no like i'm glad the billionaires died and killed over like i like obviously it is sad but i think the jokes it was such a good thing for comedy i'm

oh it was such good low-hanging fruit like in a good way it was the one time where like everybody was joking about the same thing and i had a hard time being annoyed oh my god actually i have a really funny uh thing because i was texting my friend about it and i was like oh like it's so annoying that everybody's talking about this fucking stupid thing like it's it reminds me of on twitter when everybody would rush to make the best viral tweet it was harambe 2.0 like it was the biggest like media news event for that entire week i think i've ever experienced in my life like literally a list celebrity status like news event like everyone in the fucking world was talking about it and like don't get me wrong like i did indulge in the content and i was eating that shit up but like the more i sat with it the

more i was like wait they're like dead like this is kind of sad but i was eating that shit up and i was like close to making my own fucking videos and shit but like glad i did it my take changed you're serving like um like when men do shrooms and they're like guys i have empathy i told my dad a second i told my dad the other day i was like dad like you really need to do mushrooms so you can get empathy because like that's the only way men gain into empathy but um and he didn't think it was funny at all he was like he was like dude i why would i do fucking drugs i would never do fucking drugs i was like do you know who i am do you know who your son is i am the drug lord

hey l-o-r-d-e the drew lord i am lord la la la i am lord my i fucked up joke about the submarine was i was like damn i really i was texting a friend and i had sent an audio message where i was like damn i'm like don't joke about this but who would i fuck in there because i would have to fuck one last time oh i know who i would oh yeah i know too you know you know there is one person on there that i said smash to and then that made me feel fucked up i was like who who's on the submarine and i literally went through it was like smash pass there was one other smash in there and i won't give his picture or say who it is but i just know he's an eater and that's why like that was my thing is like i know he would like suck on my clit like there's oxygen oh my god like an oxygen nozzle oh wow no this is crazy um this is crazy i just know like also i know they're hungry

so like he would eat it up they didn't bring enough food for it to be down there all that time okay that's it that's my the the db and j sandwich and the two cookies like not filling no okay but no genuinely that is my take on it like everybody's been dying to know what drew phillips's take on this summary yeah there are there have been multiple viral tweets and tiktoks being like guys yeah i'm glad they died um period because they're billionaires and we okay but the one problem i have with it genuinely the one problem i have with it is i didn't get to eat the remains because it's giving eat the rich baby like where like guy wait guy who thinks eat the rich means literally

physically eating them like you explained that joke to me. I'm going to fucking kill myself. I'm going to do it tonight. I had a big bit planned. And the big bit. Wait, hold on. Let me come back. I have a big bit. You hold on let me come back i have a big bit you're literally freaking out

well i actually have a question okay here's what i said i'm not answering it so don't even ask it fine i guess kai won't answer it how about that i'll answer it yeah okay people don't need to see me in 4k sorry sorry i don't know because i don't look like this y'all i really don't like i swear i'm sexy like i'm sexy like i was in the last episode like i don't look like this please how do i how do i i need to turn it on hold on okay keep going though ask questions would you trust me to be your lawyer i'd fight for any reason unless the one thing i will not fight for is if it is my homeboy who cheated on his significant other i will not be fighting for you but if you are my home girl who cheated on your significant other i will still be fighting for i go to the death for my home girls like girls deserve to cheat um

would i trust you as my lawyer yes but like that's that's what i was saying i feel like i'd be like without like any you'd lie for me like you you know the truth and you'd still lie for me and you'd what is it perjury like what is it like is that what it is like you'd purge the whole fucking bible or whatever i don't know what the fuck that means i think perjury is like lying in court like i oh bitch i'd lie anywhere i would literally lie that's my that's what i think too that's i forgot what it was but there was something i was talking about recently where i was just like i don't fucking know i was just talking about lying and how like really like do i actually care like but about small things i have to be very clear like all the bits on here look how fucking monstrous this is i

gotta stop looking how do i turn off my camera so i can't see myself because i like i'm looking at myself too much this is always a fucking problem on these zoom episodes like i look like literally ultra uber cracker right now like i'm clear my skin is clear yeah why are you pale when you're like in texas right now i think it's this light maybe because steven put on this giant fucking light it's like huge hold on i'm gonna take a picture of it it's ginormous oh let me put my hand up to it but i mean look how fucking big this light is it's like ginormous like it's insane but anyways i will insert a photo of it yeah i want to do it because you're not supposed to fucking talk about that on the podcast oh my god give her to me give her to me oh my god dude i'm not doing this i know i'm not doing this okay fine like what do you want from me oh my god i actually haven't seen her in so long she's gotten huge i know it know. It's been, what, three years?

This is a three-year-old, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I don't even remember what it was like to give birth to that thing. But keep it there. Leave it there. I don't want it still. I'm still, like, not.

You really don't? You really don't? Because I think she's, like, literally the most perfect baby ever. No, and I told you before we had another fucking kid. I didn't want to have another fucking kid. And you forced me to have another kid. And I don't want to be around it. She's so confused right now she's like wait where are these people

she literally is so cute i'm like damn i couldn't go wow i couldn't lie i couldn't fuck i couldn't smoke like those are all like crucial things to my lifestyle and i just don't want a fucking kid around to stop me like i i agree and that's why i'm gonna pass her back to madeline and steven and they can keep the lie up okay we put we put 50 grand into your bank account i know is that not enough like do you want a life or do you want 50 grand like i'm so confused okay okay bye bye bye how do you yeah how do you think they own this house think about that also i'm sorry like little oh he just said i know little a little podcast that takes care of our fucking kid and it's little wow the thing is once they told me that my kid can't smoke for another three years

i was like i'm not having this around me no and also like the fact that babies can't smoke joints is how like embarrassing like i know like pack your fucking lungs pack your lungs get your lungs ready that's what i've been saying is like literally grow up challenge like that's the one thing like i'll hang out with her when she's three years old four years old whatever age because then she can hold her own cigarette that's the annoying part too is you can hold the cigarette to the baby but like you have to like sit there and like be like kind of pat their baths so they start breathing in and like also the fact that she is a pabst blue ribbon baby and not a corona baby i've like had enough like how are you gonna know it's already too much around me and not drink her i don't know

it's it's just you're giving your baby alcohol she's begging for it i know and you're saying it like it's a problem like i'm sorry mr like oh like what are you gonna do call the fucking police like we're gonna be our parents that is a problem everyone knows you're not supposed to give babies okay but she's crying all the time and she's like gesturing like she needs to drink something like of course yeah that's exactly what me and you are like doing when we start like withdrawing from the alcohol like we're like give me give me give me give me and so when we saw her doing that oh she needs a bottle and that's why we need her to drink corona and not pop spoon ribbon is because like that can is just not for babies a bottle is for a baby yeah no that's not

that is not what i'm in the wrong we usually just put um a balloon at the top of the corona bottle like we roll it down almost kind of like a condom but it's like the balloon and then we bite a tiny little tip into it and then she can suck on the beer bottle like like it's a nipple yeah like yeah like it's a boob first of all i've never would you rather know i didn't even know you guys had this baby unky kai didn't know so i've never even met the baby you're not you're not her uncle babe so you were fucking not her uncle bitch we're not even her parents you're not the uncle guys that was all jokes i love my luna girl so much i you know what's crazy is like i look at

that baby and i really think she's mine at some points where i'm just like i would die for her and like i've never really felt that about another baby in my entire life but for some reason like the oxytocin kim's like work very heavily when i'm looking at her like uh baylor like yeah like the boys yeah i would take bullets for them but like specifically luna i don't know what it is i think it's because like maybe full blood or like madeline is my twin so something something is seriously different and like i would protect that baby like with with my life like genuinely like not even in a joking way like i fucking love her so much and like watching her grow has been so big for me and i'm literally i love her i love her so

much i don't have any baby in my life so hello i'm right here i'm baby no babies literally freak me out and like yeah but Luna is so cute. And that's the closest to a baby from someone my age that I know. And I still think that I don't know. I'm still like in between where I'm like, I want kids, but maybe like I shouldn't ever do that. Yeah. Also, Madeline and Steven like are literally such good fucking parents that they make it almost look easy i know that's the trick that's the trick i feel like luna is such a trick baby and then madeline and steven even as a couple are a trick couple like yeah they are genuinely too good i'm like obviously i'm

like something there has to be something here and i actually know what it is it's uh madeline lets me hit from time to time so it's because okay um but that's my sister bro you can't be banging my sister and y'all are twins and let me tell you the sex is the same like so worried about my sister you cannot marry a murderer i was sick but i am here returning to w network and stack tv the west side ripper is back if you're not killing these people then who I was sick, but I am healing. Returning to W Network and Stack TV. The West Side Ripper is back. If you're not killing these people, then who is? That's what I want to know.

Starring Kaley Cuoco and Chris Messina. The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants. Killer messaged you yesterday? This is so dangerous. I got to get out of this. Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. Stream on Stack TV.

Okay, okay. So all of a sudden, you get to bang my sister. But when I bang Kai's sister and don't tell him and I tell you, you get on to me that it's a big problem. Well, because that is a problem and you need to tell him. And I guess now you've told him, but he doesn't seem that bothered. Well, you know what's funny is me and Madeline have been like this. Like we've just been like inseparable.

We've just been like this recently., we've just been, like, inseparable. We've just been like this recently. Like, we're just, like, so close. Y'all are just, like, interlocked. I'm like, oh, my God. We're, like, we're, like, like. That is actually so fucking funny. We're so close. That was, like, a banger.

That was, like, almost as good, if not better than big parma i still think that might be the best joke ever made on here period and not enough attention has been like drawn to that bit but big parma hold on uh yes i have a bitcoin something is deeply fucking wrong with you um i think my best joke was a joke i made on the patreon episode when i said that the first caveman who rode dick they were probably like all tweaking they were like damn you can sit on it too like like once like the first few cavemen who started doing like different positions they were like damn you're literally innovating, like, crazy.

I saw something recently that was, like, the first, like, human to have twins must have been, like, what the fuck is going on? Like, literally, what is going on? It's the same thing, like, with blowjobs. No, yeah, the first one to give head was probably, like... Now, hold on. Whoa. Or the first one to give head was probably like now hold on whoa or the first one to get head the first one to give head was like literally brave because nobody else had done it before and they had to have just been like listen i know it's kind of gross because you piss out of there but let me put my mouth on trust trust i swear i'm like trust the process trust the process

this is gonna change literally. No, this isn't even going to change our lives. This is going to change the lives of the human race. And that actually quite literally might be the moment that humans transcended consciousness from caveman to like human hominid or whatever the fuck we are. No, literally because that was like the moment we genuinely started seeking simple like pleasures and like human connection and you know we started giving head and what's crazy is a lot of people like to be like oh it was the mushrooms like it was the neanderthals taking mushrooms like no bitch it was the first orgasm from a blow job and then they spread it like wildfire they were like look you got to try this shit and it was pre-fucking stds

which like damn yeah they got to all just get ran through but they were having babies like left and right because they probably just didn't know damn do you know how pissed i'd be like every time you had sex like to get fucking pregnant from having sex i would be like bitch i didn't know that was gonna happen like This is bullshit. And for the girl, I bet it wasn't even hitting like that. It was just like, okay, keep it pushing. No, for real. It was like 13 seconds. No vibrator, no fun, no foreplay.

Foreplay wasn't invented yet. It was dead ass, 13 seconds. You seen that video of the like having sex and moaning yeah that's literally what it was like but in 13 seconds okay how did they come to the conclusion that vibrators were lit like somebody had to have sat on something they weren't supposed to be sitting on you see a xbox controller you've seen the first one you've seen the first like vibr ever made? It looks like a torture device. I'm pretty sure. I'm not joking.

This isn't fact. This is all theory. But I believe that maybe they were inventing it as a torture device. And they started torturing people. I'm like, no, don't torture me. No, I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch. I am a witch.

I'm like, no, don't tie me down. Don't torture me. I love talking about sex with you guys. How do we kick this guy? You can't kick me. I'm telling you, bro. They're fucking crazy. How does it vibrate?

I think it's that little pad. It's like a little jackhammer. It's a little it's like a little like like a jackhammer gun oh yeah um but y'all ever heard of a bitch yeah it was a medieval torture device girl did you wind it up i'm about to commit a crime it looks like it plugs in a crime girl we need to get you one of those like that would be actually hilarious i bet you could find one on ebay look at all the the attachments like that's

crazy that's what you put your espresso in before you like hook it up to your machine in the different like um attachments make the cop okay um we need to get you one of those though off ebay i'm sure you can find one yeah you know how marcus what's his name opened an unsealed iphone oh mkbh to open an unsealed tortured device did they have packaging back then that's such a trivial question i don't i don't know where that came from oh polar cub electric damn imagine being the face of one of the first vibrators like sign me up she says like that's historic really um y'all ever heard of beekeeping age y'all know what that is no yeah we're all attracted to be or me and nia are attracted

to beekeeping age it's like you're old enough to like start keeping bees like you're you're past your like you're in your real prime like your 30s are your prime but like your 40s are like yeah your 30s are your like fun still being like silly and your 40s 50s are like damn you really hit you are having sex like tomorrow is your last day yeah like if you know what you're doing like you are going to hit like it is your last meal because it very well could be you could have a heart attack like for real wait um what did you just say you said before that there was something that sparked the thought i said because your 30s are oh yeah men do you think the men now like me specifically and like everybody taking selfies now do you think they're going to be taking selfies in their 30s and 40s like and i really do think that you shouldn't even be taking selfies in the first place well i'm allowed to get that

oh yeah because you're special in your own ways um i think so because my dad be taking hella selfies like but he takes them like he'll if he's with somebody he'll take a picture with like yeah he loves taking like a picture with whoever he's with but my dad isn't really sitting around like like taking a selfie because he's like a man and knows how to build a house if he needed to your dad texted me that he was freaking out over a doppelganger y'all saw um and it's uh it is the craziest doppelganger i have ever seen i know it was crazy the second we entered the restaurant he was like look at drew and i was like what but my dad i've realized i get so much of my humor from my dad my dad and me are literally these muppets wait when we're hanging out because i've been hanging out with

my dad just in the city wait hold on why is it not focusing how do i make it focus you gotta push it forward because it's like focusing on you no you have to push your phone forward yeah oh no you cover your face just put the phone over your face do like this and your phone jesus man how how oh it's literally insane that's me in 10 years it was like kind of freaking me out me in 10 years challenge like look at that you didn't you can't even tell a difference really i mean he's like a lot more mid than me like he's not as bad yeah i will say you are sexier which is like kind of fucked up because that's just a random man who's in a restaurant with me and my dad. And now we're talking about him on a podcast where a bunch of people will watch. But he's a good looking man, just not as good looking as you.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I mean, if anybody looks even relatively like me, it's game over for the rest of the men because like it's hard to compete with this bone structure yeah it's hard to compete with one very mid-white guy with another like kind of mid-white guy yeah exactly um this is literally who my dad and me are by the way like when we're out in public this is us like that's awesome all we did that's awesome the past three days was go out and talk shit about the people we saw like i wish that was a joke like like literally no that's literally where i get it from it's like my dad being chismosa as fuck literally just pointing at people laughing and like joking around and also he's so funny because

people obviously don't smoke cigars like that anywhere but miami and even in miami people don't like smoke i just smoking cigars isn't really a thing anymore but my dad will be walking down like manhattan like walking around manhattan puffing a fucking cigar and it's so funny and i asked him i was like i was like do you like pay attention like do you like see if anybody's looking at you for and he's like no he doesn't give a why would i do that he's like muppets are having their renaissance right now one and two i love being the age where like there's like a threshold that you cross and i don't know exactly what age is it is but like it starts slowly after you turn 18 and like by the time you're 25 you are considered like an adult in all of your family's eyes even if you're the baby of the family and now all me and my family do is talk shit about each other and like talk shit about like other people and

like i'm finally included in all of the conversations and being told all the things that like i wasn't allowed to know growing up and it is such a fucking amazing thing like just being a part of like the family dramas and shit dude i know it's literally the best thing to happen is like the fact that now that i'm older i could just talk to my family about anything which is also like obviously a blessing because i realize that that's like not that common a lot of people our age aren't very close to their family. But I literally, like, will go out to drink with my mom or my dad or, like, go out to a restaurant or a cafe and, like, walk around with them. And we can literally talk for hours.

And, yes, we will be talking shit about my other siblings. And I will be talking shit about one parent to the other and kiki-ing and gossiping. But it's so crazy to be able to do that like yeah it's really actually sick right hold on i'm doing something you guys have um a ukulele i could use super random absolutely fucking not why the fuck would you need a ukulele i have to make an apology video so i just thought i would bust it out guys honestly hot take the song was a fucking bop hey down no literally my

take is the song of the summer girl literally no my take is like obviously never that like that is the worst thing you could ever ever possibly do like stupid stupid stupid dumb but kind of fucking genius because all of us are completely ignoring everything she actually did which like i don't really know the full scope of it i've only seen the apology and what she apologized for but everyone is ignoring that in talking about how terrible the apology was and how terrible the song was. But they're not really caring about like the contents of the apology, which I'm like, girl, like something you did work somehow. Because like but she's obviously like in like a very bad mental state because like why on earth? I know. Why the fuck did your grown ass do that?

Like that shit is so funny like damn also those kind of things freak me out because i'm like you don't just like record that and upload it you record it you sit on it you edit it you look at it you try again like that wasn't her first take like she had to like write it out try it like do a whole thing and she still pushed forward to doing it um but i'm probably gonna also join you kai for your apology ukulele song because i have to apologize for begging your mama so hard that she squirted and propelled through the ceiling and broke all her bones yeah it was like really really scary really she went through the ceiling she was ejected from the house yeah

you know those uh like backpack jet things that you can take on the water and the water shoots down and shoots you up? She essentially did that with her own squirt and burst through the ceiling. I mean, the repairs are like fucking, it's going to cost me a fortune. Well, I'm glad that she squirted a lot, honestly. Drew, you look gross. I just tried the new Jeffreeree star palette so i was just like i was just playing around with some makeup oh you're in your shane donaldson era like playing yeah like it's kind of is that adding a beard to you too like it's a beard and lipstick yeah

your beard's going through the mic oh weird that's literally so weird. What the heck? Hey! Hey! Hi, everybody. Dude, sometimes you look like an animatronic. La-da-la-la-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. La-da-la-la-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh.

Yes, that's what I want. That's what i want to fucking play with um how the fuck do i stop this like i literally you're a bunny and you're a rabbit and it's really scary actually um okay so let's move on okay i look wait i fixed it so now now i really look like i'm in the kindle gender um like photo booth like is giving to like you and it's when they always have a glass of like it literally is that that is literally it that is so funny like somebody had to have just been on zoom playing around and then they were like i know exactly what i need at my party yeah okay well first let's talk about that damn that looks have you been going to the gym

that looks crazy yeah i've been doing a bunch of push-ups not the gym i was gonna get a 30 gym membership but i was like i don't have a car when i'm here so i'm not gonna be able to actually go to the gym unless i go at like 7 a.m um so i decided against it but what i did come to the conclusion is that i mean this is not a hot take at all but like football is like gay like really so someone got a little excited your voice cracked i don't know i just was possessed or some shit i don't fucking know that was weird i saw like red i've been seeing red a lot recently like i miss fighting um you missed fighting yeah i'm a fighter what have you been watching football like what

no i just saw a clip of football and i was like huh this is like we know this is gay but then i like really thought about like how football is played and you know like huh this is like we know this is gay but then i like really thought about like how football is played and you know like the hike like right in the beginning when they like snap the ball to the quarterback and the yeah they all have their face in each other's butt yes they're like topping each other like it's the quarterback is topping like the big big burly hairy sexy man like it's so gay you might just be like um you might be projecting to yeah you might be into like uh men absolutely fucking not um but yeah that was kind of my take but i still love basketball basketball is lit like i love people you like being obsessed with

basketball is actually the most insane thing to me like it like still doesn't make sense and part of me thinks you're lying no no it's very real like I could tell you the top four five draft picks from this NBA lottery pick Spurs got Victor Wibinyama freak of nature like literally probably the next LeBron James are like very close to like, he won't be like as powerful as him, but he will revolutionize the game in a crazy way. Number two should have been scoot Henderson, but it was Brandon Miller. Number three was scoot Henderson. He played for G league at night.

He will be a generational talent. I'm giving like, it's giving like Kyrie Irving, not the same handles, but like the same trajectory of career, maybe Dame. And for what, this is actually really interesting. I actually feel like you guys might be interested in this, but there was a pair of twins who went to, they didn't go to college. They didn't go to the G league. They went to this thing. Do what?

Okay. Oh, I said I'm all ears yeah okay um you were cutting out but they're a pair of twins and it's a men and a sar thompson and they went four and five in the draft which is fucking crazy and like they are so goddamn elite generational talents again like Like really just like, I don't know. I just, I love basketball because like, I love seeing like, what the fuck is this? What is going on? So technical difficulties over. Hello. But you know what I was thinking about?

Valley girls give blow jobs. For no Louboutins head over heels. That's not that is literally one of the greatest lyrics I think I've ever heard. Really dissected Valley girls. Valley girls give blowjobs for nose jobs. Girl, what are you on about? Is that not what it is? No, it's Iggy azalea saying valley girls get

blow jobs for louis vuittons that's head over heels no money no family 16 you sound like me right now i know this is crazy valley girls get blow jobs for louis vuittons head over heels what you call that oh yeah head over heels oh wow is that not insane like really think about it and dissect that lyric okay we're back again what water is that it's pole uh oh springs girl i'm not joking i thought irish show whatever that iris soap is made water pull it. Or what is it called? Irish spring.

It's Irish springs. Yeah. I was like, Irish springs is like a good ass soap. That's all we used as kids. Oh, what the fuck? What was that? Dude, mute yourself. What the fuck?

Do you have like a diaper on? Did he just shit his pants? Oh my god. I don't know. I didn't shit my pants. I have a toilet. I've been sitting here for a week. Wait, what? Yeah, I shit through that hole and I pissed through this pipe.

Are you serious? Yeah, I've been doing this the whole episode silently, but that one hurt for some reason but look you've just been sitting there with your dick inside of a hose this entire time see stop it dude i never needed to see that in my fucking life yeah so that's kind of what i've been on recently i've actually sat here for three days um in a row that's like the longest i've gone it's only been like eight hours but are you wiping where you put it on the paper are you just not wiping no i don't wipe it

it's really itchy and like i need i what i do is if i do get up like i'll just scoot my ass on the carpet and there's like a bunch of brown stains it probably won't focus but there's like a bunch of like a dog like a bunch of brown stains over there so i'm just kind of like figuring that shit out i know what do you mean figuring that shit out that's that's you can just like use toilet paper or go to the fucking toilet yeah and then get up and lose my games bro like i'm playing valorant and diablo 2 and shit like league of legends type shit like you can't pause an online game bro okay so where does all the piss go like is there some sort of a joke or something yeah there's a big here i'll pick it up but i really don't want to spill it oh fuck it stinks

okay there's a huge bucket of piss got it oh my god it's like piss dude i'm literally gonna call the police you're creating a hazard for also our child lives there like you're now you want her now you want her chemical warfare well i just don't want to go to fucking jail you're so fucking stupid everything i do everything i fucking do you have a problem with and i'm done i'm tired i'm fed up you're sick to me you're evil you're a wick and you're a danger i said like literally three weeks ago bro i've been sitting on it for like fucking three days now like jesus christ dude something is actually fucking wrong with you. Because I shit in a bucket.

Where did we used to shit when we were cavemen? In the woods. Yeah, but you're not in the woods. You are in a home with AC and you're sitting at a computer and we're currently on a video chat. We have gone far past shitting in the woods.

Oh, would you rather me get up and oh would you rather i genuinely do think we yes i actually genuinely do think that porta potties and shit like that is inhumane because i don't want to be in an area where it's collecting like that and in my opinion i think it would be better if we were just shitting in the dirt and like digging around like why can't i just pop a squat like why can i not just pop a squat wherever i am because your cooter bronson would be exposed to everyone but that's another conversation because why do we sexualize the human body so much that we can't just like do human things and be in our og form could you imagine us running around like i would be so

fucking cold if i didn't have clothes on like literally what did we do before that did we like you know what i mean like we evolved awfully um in that aspect but i mean like we we were just killing animals and using their fur so we were like still lit you know yeah that's true we were using their pelts and shit yeah yeah um okay well i want to talk about a couple more things have you seen um the dude put nair on his butthole on youtube no and did it burn okay i'm gonna show you the video um look up uh wait let me look it up real quick nair youtube it's going to be the craziest thing and i want to get your live reaction there let me find the video i hope it's still up

okay it's kevin kevin leonardo um where is and both of y'all watch it at the same time um it's like the first three seconds it is potentially the craziest shit i've ever seen on youtube i mean not even potentially it is the craziest shit i've seen on youtube ever does he show his butt just watch wait okay wait i'm still trying to find it okay removing removing but here's using their a virtual guy No, don't you yourself don't meet yourself unmute yourself unmute yourself For reference this is how Harry my butt is right now all right so step and girl no it gets even crazy okay it gets even crazier he lathers his ass in there and like puts it up his butthole a little bit and he's like rubbing his fucking butthole and taint yeah and then he wipes it off

like with a paper towel and like i actually find like men's bodies like literally repulsive like i shouldn't see that like no no one should educational because you can watch people put condoms on on youtube you can watch breast yeah look up people putting condoms steven was putting me on he was like you can see people breastfeeding you can see boobies which like yeah this is crazy the breastfeeding one women should be able to rest without i'm sorry but showing the wiping and what was left on the napkin like that was that that was too far this is insane i had no idea you could do this yeah if you just frame it as educational. Look up people putting condoms on.

You can see people with an erect penis on different shapes and sizes putting condoms on. No way. Yes. I did not know this. And I think you can even watch jerk-off tutorials on YouTube. I could be tripping, but I think it goes that deep. Ew, ew! Oh, my God. youtube i could be tripping but i think like it goes that deep oh my god this is crazy is it the one with like a bunch of people like it was 2018 when it was posted

no the one i just watched just ew ew ew dude dicks are so fucking nasty i'm watching guys in front of like a pink screen with bones. Yeah, that's the one I was watching. I almost just showed it to the screen. That was really fucking gross. That's insane. I don't know how I didn't know about that. Oh, my God.

I know. That's what I was saying. I was like, dude, if I was, like, yeah, like, i would have been all over this shit when i was 12 years old like you would be you would be on your girls kissing girls exactly that was our version of that is like girls kissing girls but instead i was on my breastfeeding shit i was like watching breastfeeding videos and getting like so boned up to that shit like i don't even want to talk about it like bursting through my shorts type shit like y'all saw it y'all just saw it i still would have to have a bigger wiener for it to burst through your shorts and i've just never seen that happen okay seriously girl well you're a girl sorry hate to be the fact checker here, but that's just not true. Okay.

Let's get the news and the media straight. Like, this is a witch hunt out for me saying I have a tiny penis. And, like, that's just not true. This is a witch hunt. The media lies. What is it? Media? The news and the media.

The media. But what Donald Trump says. Trump. Fake news. Fake news. Donald Trump. Fake news. the media. But what Donald Trump says. Trump. Fake news. Fake news. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Please save us.

The news and the media. Okay, I got one more thing. I got one more thing to talk about. And then we can move on. I was going to transition it perfectly. I was going to be like like speaking of news and the media oh but no continue i was gonna say we can either talk about because i have two notes because we have to record another episode so i might i have like 500 notes that are all bangers but we can

either talk about the manufactured shian trip that is basically north korea or we can talk about nikki blonsky we've talked about nikki blonsky um i don't know much about the shian thing i just know that it is actually insane to end up on the propaganda shian team Like there is no money. In the world that makes that makes sense. And I genuinely am. I don't know if they got paid. Like in my head they didn't get paid.

I feel like they got paid. Bank because like. Why on earth one would you do that? They put a bunch of money into that thing. To like fix their reputation. Like I guarantee it was like a 50 to 60 million dollar like campaign like not paying these influencers that much but like hiring all these people and all these cameras and all the flights and blah blah blah blah blah

and like i bet they built that facility out to like um i don't know but do you know what we're talking about yeah no what happened so these influencers got invited on a trip to she or for she in which is like notoriously like destroying like fast fashion like i'm just saying this for the people who might not know but like they like notorious fast fashion awful working conditions like really abusive towards their workers and don't pay them like for their work and mind you it's a company that now as of may is evaluated at 66 billion dollars one of the biggest companies yeah one of the biggest companies in the entire world um and they have been getting a lot of flack

recently because someone did like a hit job documentary on them where they like went in there and showed the op like snuck cameras in the awful working conditions and like whatever. Like there's proof of this, of them being terrible. Well, they hired a bunch of influencers and flew them out to China to show them that like, look like that's none of that shit was real. This is the real like xian factory and like the videos they showed like it was like those videos of uh north korea where like they bring out tourists and like they're in that big office building and they're all none of them are typing but they're all sitting at their desk and none of them are working but they like are faking like there's office jobs in north korea and just like faking like there's like a

civilization there that's like not being fucking like uh killed starved to death um and they did the same thing at sheen where they like faked like the factories were nice and like all of these influencers like yeah it literally was just like they were being used as props to like subdue and they literally had one of the girls who got a bunch of backlash go back on tiktok and be like i'm addressing the rumors so they had her call all of the i didn't see this insane dude it was so funny like i didn't watch her whole video because i was like bitch this is crazy but i saw a really funny stitch where i was like somebody holding up paper being like because she she literally was like talking to the camera she was like i'm here to address all the rumors about she and for instance what um their production issues they don't have that and they treat like she just kept looking

off camera like at a sheet or something to like hit all her points i was like damn bitch like you couldn't even just remember three points and just like riff it you had to just be like so yeah the problem is they don't have i do they don't starve they don't starve people they don't for real i wonder like i feel like the people that like were tricked into like going to china like the influencers like i feel like they might have actually believed it in a way and like just not done their research and like obviously yeah they're blinded by the check like also even if they're not getting paid i'm sure a lot of them like because a lot of those like brand trips don't aren't paid like opportunities what they are is

like you're in exchange for full stay full nice travel being like accommodated getting a per dm each day so you basically get free travel for upwards of like usually three or four days to in exchange for content and i'm sure a lot of them were like dude in what world would i be able to not only go to china and explore china but get flown their business class like it be in like a gorgeous hotel and all these things so i bet a bunch of them were like oh okay like yeah like maybe i'm gonna delude myself into thinking that part of this is true um because i want to be able to have that experience but i'm like girl that would literally be like somebody being like hey we'll get you like round trip to dc or wherever the fuck trump is living now and was like we're gonna give you round trip put you up

in like a four seasons blah blah all you have to do is like film trump and be like guys the rumors about him are not true like isn't that what that's what casey neistat did for hillary clinton like i'm pretty sure they paid him yeah yeah it was i think it was i think the number leaked and like i this could be like the most insane like over exaggeration in life so take it with a grain of salt but i do know he was paid for that but i'm pretty sure it was like 200 grand to make that video on youtube like by his like team by or by Hillary's team to make that like video on her which like honestly like I don't know I don't know there's there's just a lot of moral gray area there it's like what if he actually did believe in her and like I don't know like if I

would take money to like promote like something I believe in that heavily but i mean if it's 200 grand and it's sitting me in front of my face and i'm like wanting to like drop out whatever i'm doing because he was in the era where he didn't want to work on youtube anymore i wonder if like he just was like fuck it like this isn't yeah it's definitely it's also like definitely a hard line to walk especially if you're somebody who has a family or wants to provide for your family like i bitch put me in the wrong position and i'm like i'm sorry my family needs a house and my dad needs to stop being a hard labor worker like i'm gonna i'm gonna take the truck like low-key if somebody paid me to post a video of trump i would but it's because nobody would believe it like it would be

so funny like if i posted a video for trump it with like a bunch of money behind me not a single person who knows who i am would watch that video be like damn i can't believe she stands exactly it would be like girl this is so donald chomp coded yeah get the fucking bag like that's how i feel about a lot of shit when i'm just like people i don't know but yeah i just thought that like she and trip was like hilarious and like people like bending the knee to um the dollar is just it's just so funny to bend the knee to be a part of like extreme propaganda like that's what i'm like girl you're not even bending the knee being like yeah like i don't love this perfume but i'm gonna post it like i'm being paid to post it but like yeah i don't like actually think this company is abusing children and their workers and like polluting exactly exactly but i do want to add another stamp in my passport so i'm gonna do it

like that is what's so funny is like i just want to travel i'm gonna become the face of propaganda yeah for traveling and she definitely did not foresee it becoming this big of a thing yeah not at all yeah i mean she definitely didn't foresee two of the most like top tier podcasters talking about exactly exactly hey guys i just wanted to say thank you because of you guys we are a tier one podcast. Which means. We are at the top of the top. Of the top. We want to be on the top. Oh also.

Before we end this episode. We should probably throw this in the beginning. Merch is out. Merch is out. Today. Merch is out as this episode is out. Thank you guys so much for supporting us for the past two years which is terrifying i don't think there's anything in my life i've

done as consistently as this and honestly don't be surprised if you never see my face again all right whoa um did she just leave has she i think so i think so but yeah merges out love the designs i think my favorite is obviously the hoodie um if i could wear the baby t i would but then somewhere something went terribly wrong or something somewhere went terribly wrong is my next favorite and in your body that design period something we've been sitting on since last merch drop actually here i can see your eye it's open also your mic is like peaking so you can't even hear the beeping it's like um but also before we go wait wait wait this is me when um your mom says that she's not gonna i don't even know who's gonna hear it

i can't hear it it's silent it's like it's like a flat line like like all right okay before we do go before we do media i'm'm going to take a tab of LSD. No, that's a tab of Listerine because you've been sitting on a shit bucket for eight days and you haven't brushed your teeth. Oh, my fucking God. Guys, I am

21 days today off the vape. Oh, shit. That's impressive, damn. That is insane is insane almost relapsed two nights ago my god you begged my sister has it been hard to do really it's been like really easy just because like my mom like i'm around my family and the reason i quit was for my mother you want this you want this you want to i know you missed the warm euphoric feeling of opiates like come on I know you missed the warm fuzzy feeling of getting a head rush come

on yeah no it there were like moments like where I really wanted to buy one where I was just like should I go buy one but like the only the way I got through it was by saying like saying that out loud where I was just like I want to go buy one i'm gonna go buy one and then everybody being like no don't do it and like i think like also i didn't replace it with anything else which i normally like replaced it with like lacroix or something but like or like dick yeah yeah or getting hit from the back um but no it's been like pretty seamless uh it's like a mind over matter thing i have been picking at my fingers like a lot out of anxiety but i feel like the nicotine is like about to completely leave my system here in the next like couple days like 22 days apparently it's like when you break a habit

and when like all the rest of like the residual like effects like get out of your body um but yeah pretty seamless that's awesome dude if you can do it do it that's huge that is so awesome like i'm so shocked by that but what i will say is i'm just not somebody who stops my friends from doing what they want so the fact oh my god it's raining oh my god it's literally i would show you but it shows the outside of their house i'm sorry keep going um i'm just not somebody who stops my friends from doing things i give them pleasure and i would pleasure you yeah okay that's actually it we can replace my vape with yeah with me pleasuring you hoodie tang i'll give you something else to suck on yeah um but except gas doesn't come out there will be a liquid sorry okay but yeah no it's been uh

been awesome i don't feel any different so if you're gonna if you're thinking about quitting you're not gonna feel any different you're not gonna feel better i quite literally i'm not joking i think my lungs are like purging like the rest of like the glycerin that's been sitting at the bottom of them forever and like yesterday my lungs hurt like i had been hitting a puff bar all day long like it was it was it was really interesting but like today it feels better but i like can like breathe that is one thing actually is like i can like like get a full breath in without feeling like it's inflamed in my lungs yeah you know what i feel like is good motivation for that is when we were in mexico and your vape exploded and all the juice came out

yeah i feel like that smell is like ingrained in my pineal gland yeah and whenever i'm like oh i shouldn't be vaping i'm like yeah i really, I really should not. Smell that shit. You think of that smell again. Dude, that was awful. For people who don't know, we all went to Mexico together. Y'all saw the episode. But I was asleep in the car on the way back from filming the podcast episode. And I had my vape in my hand.

And I was laying in the back seat and I guess like the warmth of my hand or something like overheated or activated or melted the juice inside of the flum flow. And like it just oozed all of the juice out at once. Like it was all over my hands and arms and legs. And like it had stained me for like an hour and a half and we tried washing my hands with water out of the window but we were hitting trash it was it was a nightmare and it was a great flavored vape and it smelled rancid it just smelled so sweet like nauseously sweet but um yeah we also have another story that we'll tell in the next episode of the flight home. We'll leave out a bunch of details, but that's I feel like we finally had enough time to process.

Yeah, exactly. There's an event that happened that was so traumatizing that we literally did not speak about it to each other until like eight months later. And since then, we hadn't spoken to each other about it for like another year and a half like we talked about it for the first time in like a year and a half three weeks ago but awful awful energy

we'll save that for the next one yeah but let's hit media wow I look so gorgeous when I yawn um turn to stone by electric light orchestra I'm glad by captain beef heart and his magic Wow, I look so gorgeous when I yawn. Turn to Stone by Electric Light Orchestra. I'm glad by Captain Beefheart and his magic band. Perfumed Garden, the raw band. And Practice Twice, Sam Precom.

Precom? Yeah, Precom in my butt. Okay, mine is Build builder by fort fortier um what the fuck is this you're so annoying and then he also has one called Violent Nights. Oh, my God. I've actually listened to this before. I've literally heard this before.

But when I found it, it wasn't on Spotify yet. So I'm just cooler than it is. I like he says, popping minis minis oh that's just a beautiful song um but i added these songs to the emergency intercom playlist on spotify that i created but bad man by glock 40 spaz uh parent Issues by Russian Artist. Flip That OMG by Ash Trakan. Flip that, flip that, that, that, that, that. Intro by NaNoWriMo.

Been getting back into NaNoWriMo heavily. Love NaNoWriMo. And we'll do Ice Whore! by Lumi Athena. I haven't really watched any movies or television since being here i've really just been like actually working all day every day like it's been like the most busy i've ever been a boss just been being the boss while i'm out playing yeah i've been been uh carrying this what these muscles are all about um but how sweaty i get while i film like it's actually crazy oh my god it smells like um fucking good oh whoa you went to harvard can you send me that shirt i wore the shirt for our viewer soleil who goes to har. Oh yeah, queen. Can you send that to me?

I can send you a picture of my fucking butt spread open with nair slathered all over it. Yes, yes, yes. That is even better. Wait, this is a real request. One second, this is a real request. I do

really badly want someone to send me their soil. No, no so no no i'll send my soiled boxers to someone for five thousand Outro Music