Emergency Intercom - you're bi

Episode Date: May 16, 2025

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup! Pick any two breakfast items for $5! New four-piece french toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, English muffin sandwiches, value iced coffee, and more! Limited time only at participating Wendy's Taxes Extra! Welcome to this episode of Emerged as the Intercom. I don't know how to say this, but it's not going to just be me and Kai. Today Kai's in the corner with his eyes covered because I told him not to look at me. Daddy's back. No.
Starting point is 00:00:42 But Drew couldn't make it today, but it's okay. It is okay. Before you start screaming and crying and throwing yourself to the floor and saying that this hurts more than anything you've ever felt, we have a really, really good guest to replace him. Come on out, girl. Goodbye. Oh. Being by is real. Oh Open my eyes Oh from the video From the video and did saying being bad is real by Israel. You look fucked up. You know what's fucked up is I've seen him in it long enough
Starting point is 00:01:29 now Kai. I've become fully like this to me is the new norm. Oh my god. Really when I put this disguise on like if something comes out of me. I turn into like a monster we filmed No, you don't have a mic went to fucking Popeyes We filmed after Sorry my friend she's never been on a podcast your body only been on what would you do being by is real And she was used to the hot mics like good above her. I think she had to do all that No, this really brings something out of me. I really can't explain.
Starting point is 00:02:07 I turn into King Kylie a little bit. Yeah, she doesn't defend bi people for the joke of it. She means it. No, I'm pan. I am asexual but pan-romantic. Oh, okay, that's cute. I don't know what that means if I mean it. I'm attracted to the person.
Starting point is 00:02:24 I fall in love with the person, the sex is meaningless to me. I have a lot of meaning with sex. Well, what do you do when you meet somebody who like sees that as like a form of like connection and it's important to them? Sex? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Ugh, sex should have no meaning always. You don't like sex? No, but I am dropping a new lip kit. Okay, I don't understand. Are you the girl who stands for bisexual people or are you Kylie Jenner? Kylie Jenner stands for bisexual people pocket. I didn't want to say, I wasn't saying she's like biphobic.
Starting point is 00:02:55 I genuinely do believe there's a world out there where Kylie Jenner sees no issue with bisexuality. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Could me and her sit down in a room together? There is an issue with bisexuality. Maybe she could no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no pain and greed and shame. No see the thing is I'm dropping a new lip kit it's for the girls obviously and it's for their pussies. Oh yeah the pussy lips. It's for the vagina. A vagina is it gonna be like a tint? I guess you could do like that. Ombre lips. Yeah I mean a lot of You could do like that. Ombre, ombre lips.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Yeah, I mean, a lot of us already have the ombre down. The ombre is a good- A lot of people would be scared. A lot of people have ombre from God. A lot of people. A lot of people would be scared right now. I can't look at you in that. I know, it's a bit jarring.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Don't do that, don't do that. Come here, yeah, come here. Yeah, come here, come sit on my lap. Ew. No, hell no. I won't lie, it does make him really weird. Like he becomes, like be prepared to see Drew become like weirdly pervy, question mark.
Starting point is 00:04:11 Like the wig makes him like, this whole outfit makes him a bit perverted in the way I have it. Kai cannot look at me. No, no. I've just become used to it also. Like, also ever since you did the kick, that guy who was-
Starting point is 00:04:29 KIK sexted with a 40 year old man when I was 14 on kick. Yes. I mean classic. Famously. Classic, classic, classic. Who's calling my phone? Who's calling my phone?
Starting point is 00:04:39 Who's calling my phone? That was me when I got a random kick message from an unknown user and I still responded. From Bella Thorne One of my one of our friends. I don't want to air them out Was catfished on kick by Jaden Smith? Yeah, you know, you know exactly who it is He's been around a lot recently, but I'm not gonna air his shit out But he was telling me that he literally fell in love with Jaden Smith
Starting point is 00:05:02 Also was like 14. Oh, I know who you're talking about. But it was the same fucking time you fell in love with Bella Thorne. And I bet we didn't say anything to each other. No, y'all kept it a secret. Yeah. Yeah, well Bella told me not to tell anybody we were friends. Yeah, well I.
Starting point is 00:05:18 She was like, don't tell anybody we're friends. What color are your underwear? I just wanna make sure we're matching so that I can know we're soulmates. Well, I've been harboring- I actually don't remember if it got freaky like that, but I don't remember a lot of conversations I had with a lot of people.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Oh no, see, the thing is, is I have been looking for this exact shirt for, I'm not exaggerating years, like two years now. I've had eBay notifications set up for it. It has been something that I have been looking for for so long because it's the exact shirt the You're By girl was wearing in the You're By video. And I bought it and I was like,
Starting point is 00:05:54 oh, I'm gonna wear this for Halloween. But everyone was like, Halloween is like six months away. And so I was just like, or we were just like, whatever, we'll just do it on this episode. But this has been a journey putting this together. trimmed the wig today like all of it why are you giving like a detailed thing of your outfit like you're on the carpet at the mat like literally like you're going into like the core of your outfit as if there's like because it's important there is history there is history and more I have
Starting point is 00:06:22 no idea what this shirt is Josiah knew, but I have no idea. We really, I'm not kidding. We kind of have to give it up to cosplayers. I've been thinking about it a lot and like. Make some noise for cosplayers. Yeah, they're like. Like for real. They're the new wave of historians in some ways, no?
Starting point is 00:06:38 This is keeping history alive. Unironically though, like I really genuinely fuck with cosplayers. Like y'all really, it's an art form for real. Cosplay is like any kind of art medium or creative medium where it's like. It's. It has to be a burning passion or don't do it. Like, actually, that's not true, because some people aren't like good at cosplay and they still like it's sweet and it's like an escape for them.
Starting point is 00:07:04 I was literally just about to say, like good at cosplay and they still like, it's sweet and it's like an escape for them. I was literally just about to say like bad cosplay to me is more important than good cosplay. Like there I said it, like it's like you can feel like they really, really wanted to do this shit. Yeah, cause also like. They really wanted to become this person. They really wanted to create this fit. And I love people creating things.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Look, everybody, I spoke to God God your time consuming is up you need to start creating more hmm you guys were talking shit about me last episode what the fuck who are you fucking were and get out of my house pervert you said people that wait let me look this up because I wrote it down you said people that have autoimmune diseases no No, you said, uh, you're sick if you're good at sex, you're basically, you're a bad person, which is a shade. That's kind human shade. Um, no, I don't think anybody on this planet thought, Oh my God, Kai,
Starting point is 00:07:56 like he's going to hear this and be broken. They're going to be like, Oh my God, Kai is going to hear this and be broken because he's going to be so ashamed and recoil at the thought of people talking about good sex. Cause he's like, Oh oh my god that's something i've never even partaken in. how do i act? how do i act like i know what that is? no kai is good at sex. i'm famously good at sex. he is. he's a munch. he really is. yeah. i could tell you. he makes me put a wig on though it's really fucking weird. oh i mean to each their own. y'all do what you do. It's internalized, we've talked about it, pillow talk and shit.
Starting point is 00:08:29 But hold on. It's internalized, we've talked about it. It's deep in there, it's really deep. No, one thing about me is like, I can't have casual sex because my pillow talk does go crazy. Like my pillow talk is like not cute shit. Like literally we will have just bone and I'll be like,
Starting point is 00:08:44 do you talk to your parents anymore? Are they are they in your life? Do you think the way you navigate in relationships is because of them have they ever touched you in a bad way? Okay, what was I saying? Oh, we were talking about catfishes and getting catfish and this is something I've been harboring inside for a very long time that I haven't really been brave enough to speak about and it may not make the cut but about two years ago I was a grown ass man No, okay just keep going just keep going
Starting point is 00:09:19 I was catfished on Grindr Which is like not like the craziest thing that's like a gay agenda, like gay experience, like it really is. I should have known better because I was in Texas and like this man was fine shit and like we had like a full-blown conversation, like it was tea, it was tea, it was tea, we made plans to meet up at even and then I screenshotted his photos and reversed image searched I screenshotted his photos and reversed image searched and found out that he was using this OnlyFans creator's photos as his own and one day, one day I'll be brave enough to mention who the OnlyFans creator was. Okay like did you send anything crazy? No. Well, yes. Oh, yeah. But not face, not face, but like body tea, yes.
Starting point is 00:10:08 But, and we had some interesting conversations. I was gonna say, okay, like hot take, because I have been catfished, like, especially as a teenager, I was a very lonely teenager who was a crazy person. Like, I needed to talk to people, I wanted to talk to people, but I was like very shy in a lot of ways. So I would just get into random conversations with strangers online.
Starting point is 00:10:29 And I definitely was catfished a handful of times, but I don't look back at it as like a thing where I'm like, oh my God, that's so humiliating and shameful. I'm not kidding because I'm like, there is still something about like Cuban connection there. Like I still genuinely believe in that connection. It's like, okay, well, luckily I never had an experience where I like met up with somebody and anything happened. But for the most part, I would just really chat it up. And sometimes it got freaky deaky, but I don't really give a fuck like I was like dumb. Like what? No harm, no foul. No harm, no foul. I genuinely unless like, obviously don't go around catfishing people because that's fucking un poco loco But I don't know I had good conversations with the people who catfished me like they were actually very helpful people in my life
Starting point is 00:11:11 Did people use your pictures ever on dating apps? Yes. Yeah, that part is scary I think that's already happened to me like three years ago people have like Made genuine connections with me and had no idea that it was me and I really scared I've had people Photoshop my face onto other bodies and then use that as the catfish I mean that makes a lot of sense why they would do that and not use want to use your body What do you mean by that? Because body is not tea. Okay body is boba. It's boba Body is rice pudding. You actually look really good. Thank you. thank you so much. No, body is tea right now for real. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:11:46 The Purge Diet is working. Yeah. The Purge is working. Okay. So, I have, I don't know if I'm embarrassed by it, ashamed of it, or proud of myself for actually committing to it
Starting point is 00:12:05 But I bought something really late last night and it has to do with you And I paid 2.99 extra to get it delivered overnight because I wanted it Today I wanted to wake up to it at the front door Um, I haven't opened it yet So I thought i'd unbox it with y'all on the podcast live. And I want to get y'all's honest, real reactions because it is, it's pretty jarring, but you'll see why it involves you. It's a giant bag of sour airheads.
Starting point is 00:12:51 See you had one in your car and when I drove it home from the nail salon it had one bite taken out of it and I was like oh this is gonna go bad. So I ate the whole thing in one bite and I was like that was the most delicious thing I've ever eaten in my entire life and I didn't stop thinking about it for hours So I bought a giant bag of them because it was the blue one But I wanted to try the green and the yellow one as well You you propose that this is like when like a shitty boyfriend is like I got us the best thing ever That has nothing to do with me. No, why was there a sour airhead in your car?
Starting point is 00:13:24 ever. That has nothing to do with me. No, why was there a sour airhead in your car? I was at a 7-eleven with a friend and they were getting stuff and I felt awkward so I grabbed random shit that I saw and the airheads with something because I had gotten a water and the friend was like, oh my god you're not gonna get snacks don't make me snack alone. So then I was like fine I'll get airheads and I got those and I acted like I liked them So I ate one and then I was like this actually is gonna upset my stomach and it's annoying No, then the other day I took a bite out of it because I was on the way to the nail salon And I was just like, oh, I don't have gum. I need something in my mouth right now So I don't bite my something you could put in your mouth right now
Starting point is 00:14:01 But no, they were, please don't hit me. Oh no, that's so embarrassing, I just pants myself. Kai, you're gonna have to see my butt, bro. I was a fucking, I didn't see it. No, I mean when you edit. I like actually need to say that because that's not the first time this has happened in these pants. I really like these pants,
Starting point is 00:14:18 but since I sit the way I do, I always get my foot stuck in this and I yank my own pants down and I just pants myself on camera. Kai gets to see Anya's butt. Oh my God, I always get my foot stuck in this and I yank my own pants down and I just pants myself on camera. Kai gets to see Anya's butt. Oh my God, I'm not kidding. Actually, if you do see it, look out for my crazy tan line. I have the craziest tan line on my butt
Starting point is 00:14:34 because I accidentally burnt the fuck out of my butt in Miami. I've had to blur both your privates multiple times throughout the history. Okay, don't say that. Don't cut that. Also, normalize calling it your private okay it's not my fault my private always fall out i know in a
Starting point is 00:14:50 sundress i was gonna say if it's a sundress in the summer i see that shit splat on the concrete all the time me having to blur out your privates once every few episodes is not normal i just want to say that oh my god it's not a normal working environment it's not my fault my vagina falls off. And it's not my fault my dick and balls are so huge that they fall out of the bottom of my pants. Not shorts, my pants. Yeah, you guys have like really huge private parts.
Starting point is 00:15:12 So I guess I wasn't thinking about it like that. No, no. Mine's normal and perfect. We're calling them no-no zones now. Guys, not to like bring up something else that has to do with my balls. Okay, you could eat these. You could eat these.
Starting point is 00:15:23 They're peanut and tree nut free. I don't know. There's no way that I can eat that. No one in this room is allergic to nuts. He's on his purge diet. Yeah, I can eat. Well, I can actually, I can eat 12 things now. I added.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Hey guys, we wanna take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment anytime, anyplace. I am obsessed with ZocDoc. As I've been saying for the past year, I've been really trying to take my health into
Starting point is 00:15:56 account more and really make sure that everything is going well. I recently had to go to the doctor for a mark on my eye and we're going to figure out what it is. But the second I had a concern, I just got on ZocDoc and I booked an appointment. You can typically book appointments within 24 to 72 hours and sometimes you can even score same day appointments. We are obsessed with ZocDoc and you should be too. Stop putting off those doctor appointments
Starting point is 00:16:21 and go to zocdoc.com slash intercom to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z-o-c-d-o-c dot com slash intercom. Zocdoc.com slash intercom. Hey guys, we want to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, Liquid IV. I plan on being at the beach all summer long I am NOT a beach person
Starting point is 00:16:50 But something has gotten inside of me and it's not Chi and I want to be on the beach all summer and I even bought Like this really expensive bag because I'm really financially motivated. So I will be at the beach all summer But with that comes dehydration, and that's where liquid IV comes into play. Break the molds and own your ritual. I start every day off with electrolytes, mine being the liquid IV lemon lime flavor. It's in my bathroom. It's the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning and take all my vitamins and take all my medications. I knock it out and then I don't have to up in the morning and take all my vitamins and take all my medications
Starting point is 00:17:25 I knock it out And then I don't have to worry for the rest of the day About whether my water is actually going to be in my body because I know I've had my electrolytes and I'm feeling good Get ready for summer with extraordinary hydration from liquid IV get 20% off your first order of liquid IV when you go to liquid IV first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code emergency at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code emergency at liquidiv.com. There it is.
Starting point is 00:17:53 You wanna try this so fucking bad because he is like they, oh, okay, chill, chill, chill, that's gonna hurt. That actually did hurt. Stop. Throw a bunch more. Stop. Oh, fuck. No, no. Oh my God. Stop. Throw a bunch more. Stop. Oh no no. Stop. I mean I have a lot now. Oh my. Sure I guess I'll yeah. Next time you talk about getting me a fucking gift, get me a real gift, you fucking bitch.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Yeah, Drew, this is all your fault. And these are hard. They wouldn't hit me, it hurt. My God. I'm not even kidding. After everything I do for you, after everything I fucking do for you. What do you do for me?
Starting point is 00:18:41 I just bought you a gift. You just bought 100 Airheads. Also, you and your teeth have no business Having access to this many fucking airheads our airheads at that like it literally Drew all he does is like my teeth my teeth. No, okay Not all I fucking do the last like month of my life. Oh my god my teeth. Yes the last month of my life, yes. He's like, oh my God, my teeth. Yes, the last month of my life, yes. But that's not all I do. But I will say I ate the sour airhead,
Starting point is 00:19:11 the sour airhead, and I literally, my body physically went up three degrees. I got a fever immediately. Like it was crazy. Also, you eating the whole thing. Oh, but you're picking that up, by the way. We planned that bit, by the way. I should add that, and you're not actually mean.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Well, I didn't plan that shit. I have a gun in my ass right now and it hurts so bad but it's really small so it should be fine up there. But I'm kind of scared of it traveling upwards. Has that ever happened? Has anybody ever put something in their butt and then like it's gone up? Like just like deep in their colon?
Starting point is 00:19:53 Yeah, it's like all the time. Have you ever seen those videos? Like gets trapped in there? Yeah. That's why they always say like, make sure the base is flared. Who always says that? Like, that's not like, that's why they always say
Starting point is 00:20:09 look both ways before crossing the street. That's like, they don't say like that's. They really do. Have you guys ever tried the frozen butt plugs? Have you tried that? You can make them so, and they just like slowly disappear inside of you. What was it called like the poop one? you freeze like a log of turd?
Starting point is 00:20:26 Oh the Alaskan pipeline. Yeah And yet this is Crazy, I know I can't believe they found this like it's actually it's kind of embarrassing But in this clip, I do sound so good. You literally sound amazing. You look about 35 in that and you were what, like 12? No, I was 14. Whoa, that does sound really good.
Starting point is 00:20:54 I might have been 13. I don't know if I've turned 14 yet. Yeah, you were probably 13. Oh my God, that was the best day ever. I loved this day. Who the fuck found that? Dude, Emergency Intercom Crave. They posted that and I don't like I don't know how they found it but like seriously
Starting point is 00:21:12 I'm not that embarrassed because I genuinely do just sound so good. This was like I was really trying to convince my family to buy me that karaoke machine. Yeah you were performing to let your cousin sleep over. Yeah I was putting it to work. I just can't sing like that anymore after vaping. Try. No, I literally can't or should I? It sounds good, that's not you. You sound like a dying dog Okay Why is no one talking about my core life power elite protein 42 grams of protein in it. No one's commented on it, yes, yes. I am putting on the pounds.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Yeah, Drew's getting stronger every day. This guy is like taking a picture of us. No. Yeah, he just took a picture of us. I mean, dead serious. Got it. I'm scared. Got it.
Starting point is 00:22:23 I'm scared. This room keeps getting more and more disturbed. It's so. The infinite Jess, you with the wig, there's fucking candy and trash everywhere. Yeah, the trash being in ya. I genuinely do. I'm so off today. I'm really.
Starting point is 00:22:43 It's the wig. It's the wig. It's the wig. The wig is doing something to your brain chemistry, bruh. It's literally like squeezing your skull. No, it's the microplastic seeping into my brain. Oh, yeah. It's from cutting the wig and inhaling all of the microplastics from it. Yeah, from all of that, then some. I don't actually believe in the Illuminati, but there is something so jarring about the
Starting point is 00:23:05 fact that it's 2025 and there's still celebrities going to Australia for the first time and posting with the koalas. Like why is that still like, like without fail, a celebrity will get to a point where they're going to Australia for a tour and they will post up with those fuck ass koalas and I don't they all have chlamydia. Dude, yes. And like, or let me not say yes. So like with such conviction, I don't fucking know what's up with the koalas. Like, I don't I don't want to say too much on them.
Starting point is 00:23:33 I don't know what they have. I don't want to my girl. But they're always there. And I'm just like, yeah, I guess when I was like 13 and I saw Justin Bieber with the koala, that was amazing. I couldn't imagine how he even got to Australia. Like I couldn't have even began to think about the travel day he had to take. Yeah, there.
Starting point is 00:23:58 But I was amazed by that. I was like, wow, he really is like in Australia. He's really there right now. He really made it. He posted this at 3 a.m. and it's a light out. What the fuck? I know it's always that dude they're always posting on that fucking timeline which like respect but um yeah I stop sending stop taking pictures with the fucking I don't feel a fuck. I feel the same way and we're guilty of this. We're very guilty of this. I feel the same way about a Times Square billboard. I'm like. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:32 I'm like, every time I see one now, I'm like, I really, really don't give a fuck. Like I know you care and it's a special moment for you because I felt the same way with our billboard in Times Square, but they're all digital now like it's like a three minute cycle like you're up there for like five seconds and then five minutes later you pop back up like it's not like it you when it was a stagnant but I'm a
Starting point is 00:24:57 hater no but seeing that billboard in Times Square was like oh my god it was very was very special. It was so special. But it's okay, because I'm going to hack the mainframe and I'm going to put all the Koala celebrity photos in Times Square. Oh, that's a good idea. It's going to be my attack on the Illuminati. In certain areas of Australia,
Starting point is 00:25:15 up to 90% of the Koalas have chlamydia. That's what it says on Google. Damn. That is crazy. So I know whoever is the groupie on tours in Australia. I don't know if they can transmit it to humans though. Yeah, because when you have to have like sex with the thing. Maybe. Wait, I can see if they can. Some of those pictures are starting to look a little sepicious. Yeah. I'm gonna start. No, no, no, no, no, no. I've been
Starting point is 00:25:41 manipulating a lot of fucking people. I've been manipulating a lot of people. Why would you ever admit? Hold on, my ideas are coming to fruition. And I am like getting into y'all's subconscious like very deeply. It is kind of actually insane to just admit publicly that you've been like manipulating people. I don't give a fuck.
Starting point is 00:26:01 I'm in your subconscious. Yeah, they can't give it to humans. Unless you like drink their pee or something. But even then the chances are- Wait, how long does it take to get through your system? No, you don't have to worry. You don't have to worry. Why are you worried about that?
Starting point is 00:26:14 Yeah, what the fuck? Because I was on TikTok shop like late at night and then somebody was talking about, it's like a holistic thing. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah, it's good for you apparently. Coalipus is really good for you. Apparently. Allegedly. Like you saw that. Yeah, it's good for you, apparently. Coalipus is really good for you. Apparently, allegedly.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Yeah, you shouldn't be drinking coalipus. But I think they test the pee before they, it's illegal to ship out coala pee that has chlamydia in it, no? That has to be completely illegal. So I should be fine. They had to have tested it before they sent it. It's definitely not FDA certified.
Starting point is 00:26:43 And it does say not for human consumption on the bottle But oh but everything I most of the things that I consume say that yeah true I have a I've pica What is it called when you like pica pica when you eat styrofoam? I guess I kind of did have that as a kid because we damn the things I chewed on I mean still the things I chew on Now I'm an adult so I chew on now I'm an adult so I don't like chew on anything too crazy
Starting point is 00:27:09 yeah I went out to I've like literally I'm in my party boy era I need to suck on an Android charger by the end of the day like I need to feel that electricity but I don't know if they shock you the same way they do that outlets just don't shock the way they used to. They're really not giving what they used to gave. The outlets like it's crazy. I don't have like the same fear in me of an outlet as I did when I was younger because it felt like without fail every time I plugged something in when I was a child, I shocked myself granted because I always had my fingers on the prongs.
Starting point is 00:27:43 Why would you ever do that? Um, I don't know, I just was like very like... Depressed. I didn't like the feeling of like... You were just really depressed, I wanted to feel something. I didn't like the feeling of like trying to get like in the outlet, so if I wasn't looking, I would just, or I couldn't see behind a cabinet,
Starting point is 00:27:59 I would put my hands right there, so I could just like feel it go in. Like I don't know if that makes sense, like I would use the back of my hands to feel it and then just like push it through my fingers. And every time I did that without fail, I would get so shocked. And I remember telling my parents
Starting point is 00:28:16 that the outlets kept shocking me and they were like, that shouldn't be happening. And I was like, they keep shocking me, but now they don't shock that way anymore. I genuinely think I need to go to Chuck E. Cheese and get on that shock machine, the one that like vibrates so hard that it feels like you're getting electricity
Starting point is 00:28:30 like shot through you. I don't wanna get struck by lightning. I tried to kill myself last night. Oh. Are you serious? That's not, that's bad. Why'd you laugh? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:28:44 I think you're- No, you laughed at her, so it's like, how much do you even care? Not her. Him that's bad. Why'd you laugh? I don't know. Yeah, you laughed at her. So it's like, how much do you even care? Not her. Him, my bad. Herm. Guys, do I have big feet, a size eight foot? Yeah, you got fucking big nasty feet. Somebody said to me recently that I had big feet.
Starting point is 00:29:00 I just realized I was love bombed. Yes. I didn't realize that that was love bombing. Yes. What were the symptoms? It felt so good actually. Like it really did, cause you were talking about it last episode.
Starting point is 00:29:14 It was, you know who? And he immediately was talking about like us getting married, like our wedding, where the wedding was gonna be, like flying me out to Europe, like for our birthday, like all this shit, our birthday, our birthday. Yeah, because they had the same birthday. It felt good, I missed that high.
Starting point is 00:29:43 I really do. The high of a promise. Like I knew, I knew it was all fake. Yeah. I missed that high. I really do the high of a promise like I knew I knew it was all fake Yeah, I don't know but it was just like you have high hopes for a living like literally what it's high high hopes for a living Also at that point like it I mean because of that person it seemed like all of that was a possibility So in my head, I was a possibility because I think I was like, oh my god He's love bombing the shit out of you. Like I think that's the first thing I said when you were in my room reading all of those. I was like.
Starting point is 00:30:09 One day I'll go through the text, but I'm still scared of this person. Also like. Like really, I'm actually scared of him. Thank God he doesn't know where I live. I know where he lives. Are you gonna go there? I might pull up.
Starting point is 00:30:24 The thing about me is I think it's funny to show up at someone's house and it's really not like in my head. Everyone all of our friends are always like, why don't you ever want to hang out and I'm like, bitch just come to my fucking house unannounced and just say we're hanging out and I will literally yeah because like I'm like what I'm probably inside sitting on the bed with Drew talking like what because we do'm probably inside sitting on the bed with Drew talking. What are you gonna do? Come and sit. Because we do the same.
Starting point is 00:30:46 We literally do the same. We just show up in each other's spaces. But I genuinely know, I meant I am the kind of person to just drive by old addresses when I'm bored. And I will sit outside. In Miami, without fail, I go to my childhood home we were evicted from every time. I've seen that house every year,
Starting point is 00:31:07 since I have, like all the time since I haven't lived there. And every time I stop in front of it and I take pictures of it, which I don't know if that's like okay to like admit, but like they don't go anywhere, they're for me. I think that's fine. That's fine. But I go and I just sit in front of it and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:31:22 this has to be the creepiest thing I've ever done because I can't lie, one time they had their windows open and I was peaking. I didn't go up to the window because it's in Florida and I don't wanna get killed, but from the car I was looking in because this window was a really specific window in my house and they had it the same way inside
Starting point is 00:31:41 as it always been. And I wanna go up to it so bad and be like, can I go in? But I know it's gonna piss me off. Didn't like Janet Jackson do that or some shit? No Jennifer Lopez attempted to do that. She went and that's exactly what would happen to me. Me outside of my childhood home like... Wow I'm still Jenny from the block. They're like who are you? That's what they did to Jennifer and her team posted it. It was a guy who lives in her house now and she was like Jennifer and he was like, oh Jennifer Lopez and he was like, okay. Oh my god. Oh my god. That is mortifying. That's me, bro
Starting point is 00:32:14 That is literally what it feels like to be me. Wait, I'm yeah I will like also if I've had sex with somebody I've like driven past people's houses like that too. I don't go Oh, I know I've been in there. I've been naked in there. I have a right to drive by. No, I was about to say literally all of the like married straight men that I've hooked up with in Texas in their garages, I always drive by to see what's happening. Yeah, I'm just curious. Is that too crazy to admit? I had a lot of ass in garages in Granberry. A lot. I like the smell of a garage so I could see that being a vibe. It's a vibe. Also I'm kind of loving talking about my
Starting point is 00:32:54 escapades recently but I ghosted a billionaire. Oh the one you've... Yes. Yeah. I ghosted a billionaire, Kai, and I didn't realize he was a billionaire until last week. Is this the one that you told me about? Drew fumbled our fucking summer. I know, I fucked it over. Drew fumbled our summer. We could have had the greatest summer of all time. We could have had the kind of summer Fitzgerald would write about, motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:33:22 Like literally literally movie. I mean, I could still tap in, I think. I think I'm like charming and charismatic enough that I could figure it out, but I just never responded to him. The thing is, as tempting as being with somebody for the financial benefits sound specifically down specifically with a man that seems so scary because I genuinely am so lucky that very rarely am I in a room with mostly men, let alone mostly straight men
Starting point is 00:33:55 and hanging out with like my other friend groups, I always end up in a room like every now and then where I look around and I'm like, oh my God, no wonder it felt weird in here. There's so many straight guys, but they're really interesting to watch. If you hang out with straight guys that your friends have vetted,
Starting point is 00:34:13 it's really fun because it genuinely is like going to the zoo. Also, I'm gonna show Kai my billionaire. And Kai is gonna freak the fuck out that I would ever- Wait, let me see, let me see. That I would ever for even half a second not respond to this. This is crazy cause he's bad. Let me see. You're bye.
Starting point is 00:34:33 You're bye. You're bye. You're bye. Kai you're gonna freak out. He's bad. No way. Hey guys, we want to take a quick break for one of today's sponsors, Shopify. Shopify has literally been the catalyst for turning our business ventures into reality.
Starting point is 00:34:58 I have been thinking so much about when I was in Miami and I was really inspired to make zines and the whole chapters thing if you know you know and really none of that would have been possible to be available to the public without Shopify I had no idea what I was doing and it made all of the back ends of running a business so simple especially for somebody who is like doing it on their own. Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all e-commerce in the United States. From household names like Mattel and Gymshark
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Starting point is 00:35:49 What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Okay, I have like a real, real bone to pick with society.
Starting point is 00:36:29 Like it's actually, it's unironically like been on my mind a bunch recently. Who the fuck convinced us that Triscuits were an okay food to fucking eat? What the fuck is a Triscuit? You know exactly what a Triscuit is. It's like eating a fucking goddamn wicker basket. Like literally, I hate Triscuits. Same with those fucking mini wheats that you got.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Okay, not too much on the mini wheats because I fuck with mini wheats. Mini wheats are good as fuck. The cream coating saves it, but it really, if they're not in milk, which I only eat cereal out of milk for some reason recently, it's not my typical, but recently I've just eating, been eating handfuls of like cereal,
Starting point is 00:37:09 but it tastes like I'm eating wicker baskets like it's so good. But that's the things I like the texture of that. I like that. I like that. That's why I like mini weeds because it literally tastes like it's like, it's like a mouth experience. So, you know, the hydraulic press videos where it'll cut. Yes, yes, yes. It's like a mouth experience. You know the hydraulic press videos where it'll cut through a bunch of paper? Yes, yes, Kai, for once we get along.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Okay, ew, that's disgusting. Doing that is gross. A trisket is nasty, but a mini-wheat, don't play with a mini-wheat. A mini-wheat is so good. The only food we had in our house growing up was ingredients in a box of fucking triskets. So when I was starving starving and like wanted like food
Starting point is 00:37:47 really badly, I would have to go into the cupboard that was above the microwave, which I couldn't even fucking reach. And my parents would hide all like the food that they wanted to save up there. And I would have to like climb on top of the trash can to get up there to get it. And it would just like, I would be rewarded
Starting point is 00:38:04 with like eating wicker baskets. I'm sorry. I don't know how to I literally don't know how to describe it. Other than that, like Triscuits are evil. I mean, yeah, mini weeds are essentially like munching on a bush. Yeah, like it really is like it is like very pubie. But I don't know. I'm like a texture person and I really like I like the sensation of like eating a mini-wheats and then like I literally press my tongue up against the roof of my mouth because I'm
Starting point is 00:38:30 like, oh my God, it's literally like stacking hay in my belly. Like it's fun. Have you guys had Dubai chocolate? No, I had a bootleg one from a corner store in Miami and it literally tasted like shit and the green inside was the color of Drew shirt. I want it so bad. Like toothpaste green. It was literally like the most bootleg Dubai chocolate
Starting point is 00:38:50 I've ever seen and I was like, ugh. My dad bought like Dubai chocolate from Wuhan, China. I actually haven't asked him if he'd eaten it yet, but the material, the food they put in there, like the fido dough or whatever. Oh cool, I have one of the biggest mistakes ever. The material, the food they put in there, like the phyllo dough or whatever. Oh cool, I have one that's the biggest mistake ever. It's basically phyllo dough, I think, but it's called something else.
Starting point is 00:39:12 It's called kefir or kefir or something like that. Oh, the stringy part? Yeah, when they fry it up, I feel like it might have the same texture, but that all that side, that seems good as fuck. That I wanna chew on. That all that side. I just like, I like, yeah, I'm a big texture eater.
Starting point is 00:39:27 I feel like most of the snacks I eat, oh, I tried these pretzels in Miami from, what's that one company that's like the gold bag company? Like they're like the pretzel people. Gold's Pretzel. Yeah, Gold's Pretzel, wow. They have these like Parmesan twist, Parmesan garlic twist pretzels.
Starting point is 00:39:46 I have made it an active choice not to buy them since I've been back in LA because in Miami, I would get a bag and get high as fuck. And it's both the flavor combo because my favorite flavor of like a chip or anything is a garlic parm like, or like, not garlic parm, white parm, white cheddar, like a white cheddar, like cheese is my vibe.
Starting point is 00:40:08 And I never really like give a fuck about garlic, but those are so good. And the texture of them, like guys, seriously, like this isn't even an ad. If you get them, please somebody else. Cause I've been having all my friends, I had all my friends in Miami try them and none of them got the texture like I did.
Starting point is 00:40:22 But I think I just am a texture person, but it's like the best because you get a crunch. And then it literally feels like. I know your breath was hot as fuck. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. And it literally felt like chewing plastic. Like it literally, you put it in your mouth and if your tongue touches it,
Starting point is 00:40:36 the coating that they have on those pretzels is so plastic-like. It is the best snack I've ever had, but I had to stop myself from getting it because I have a problem with. You're the best snack I've ever had. If I really like stop myself from getting it because I have a problem where I really, if I really like the texture of a snack, like I can't stop eating it because if not, I'll just like I bite my nails.
Starting point is 00:40:52 I was just ignored. I held your fucking hand. You slut bitch. Release me. I don't want you. Release me. I never had you. I don't want you.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Release me. Do you want me now? No, don't you don't want him. I do want you. Release me. I never had you, I don't want you. Release me. Kai, release me. Do you want me now? No, you don't want him. I do want him. Look how easy it is for me. Oh my God, to find someone. You want me next or?
Starting point is 00:41:15 Yeah, obviously. All right. I'll take anything. He's a slut. He's a slut. Kai, Kai, Kai, Kai, Kai, Kai. I've been watching this podcast recently and they only have two bits
Starting point is 00:41:27 Hold on their podcast is I always forget the title, but it's the guy Dylan that does that if I were a girl Their podcast it's Dylan and Colton and it's called some of this is bad I have been like I've binge watched there. I don't watch any podcasts ever but specifically theirs and like the way they talk about the gay experience is so fucking funny and it's been like killing me but they have a bit at the end of the episode where they ask all their guests which are like sometimes gay men sometimes straight men but it's all like comics, their bit is, if you were a gay man, which one of us would you rather have sex with?
Starting point is 00:42:10 But like, which one of us would you rather have sex with? If you had to, and you can't cop out, you have to choose. If I was a gay man. Or just in general. It'd be you Drew. Of course, y'all talk bro, and I don't wanna have sex with you, you fucking nasty pervert bitch, like you're fucking gross. What's the fuck that was really mean that was hurtful. I'm just being real
Starting point is 00:42:29 Oh, we can't be real anymore. We can't be real anymore Like what no, I respect that because if you said me it would have been completely inappropriate Anyway, so it would have been inappropriate even though you guys make me blur out videos of your private parts Even though you guys make me blur out videos of your private parts Me and drew okay every few hours we do our genital checks Are you in there still there because they fall off okay, and it's also very free the nipple, bro It's always been free the nipple true. How many of those have you had? This is my third. I wanted to try all flavors I've had the green one the blue one one. The blue one is obviously the best. The blue one is always the best.
Starting point is 00:43:07 But then this one's like lemonade flavor. And I'm like, well, I fucking hate lemonade. You don't like lemonade? This one's the best one. I'm not even kidding. Well, we spoke too soon. This is so good. Holy fuck.
Starting point is 00:43:19 No, I like lemonade, but like sometimes like I really need to be in the mood for it. I wrote something down just to bring up this is like something that I thought of and I don't know maybe you guys will be interested in this. I realized that squirt is from asteroids. It's water from asteroids. Right?
Starting point is 00:43:39 Isn't it? Because water is old it came here a long time ago. Well also you know I'm saying well, what the hell are you talking about, bro? I wish there was a camera on you because your body language as you were saying that too was like so dead serious. I can explain.
Starting point is 00:43:55 I know what he's saying. He's for real. And also squirt piss and cum is also stardust. Yes. Well, it's also kind of how that theory of, it's like every woman has DNA from like her mother, like to like an extreme level or something like that. It's like the mitochondria.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Yeah. So I am my mother. Extract it. Well, all water's old, right? It just gets recycled. And there's a lot of theories like, how did water get to the earth? A lot of it's like, oh, asteroids.
Starting point is 00:44:27 Oh my God, I've drank squirt before. Yeah. Evaporated squirt. Yeah, water is just old. What? So squirt is that water from the vagina that squirted it out has been on earth for hundreds of millions of years.
Starting point is 00:44:41 And it's from asteroids, it's from space. I really, I love this. I love this thought experiment right now. That squirt isn't new water being produced. It's recycled water. Also think about this, every time a girl squirts, it goes into the groundwater and then it's filtered. An angel grows.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Exactly. Here's the thing though, I'm just thinking about this right now. And you drink it. You've probably, to the women listening to this that have maybe squirted, there's probably the chance that that was already squirt from years ago. Because it got recycled. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:45:16 Like someone squirted and then it evaporated and it rained. I really just feel like I'm not going to say anything about this because the idea that some freaking freak out there could take anything I say and assume what my cooch gets up to No, do you square it? No, do you square it? Wait, who has that? Nick Centeno Noah Centeno same fucking difference, bro. Let me see you make it squirt. Let me see you squirt.
Starting point is 00:45:47 Make it squirt for me. Oh, I've been doing this thing to Inya and Josiah. Good girl. They fucking hate it. Good girl. It was way better the other night you have been there. I don't like it. I'm gonna smack the fuck out of you.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Good boy. Like, literally. I'm not kidding, sometimes. I like it. Like, me and Drew need to stop sleeping together because it's getting to a point where like now we've been like, we really, we function like a married couple in a way that is literally too funny. Like, especially when like one of us is in a mood,
Starting point is 00:46:18 we literally navigate each other like a married couple. There's no way to go around it. And then if like one of us is in a mood and somebody notices it, like Josie would be like, like I feel like to one. And then if like one of us is in a mood and somebody notices it, like Josie would be like, like, I feel like to one of us be like, oh, someone's okay. And it's like, just don't fucking ignore it. They don't acknowledge it.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Me and Drew literally behind, we're just like, don't give him anything. We really are a married couple. It's amazing, though. Like we really it's just what was meant to be. Like it's amazing. But we do need to stop sleeping in the same bed so much because I can feel Drew's daggers on me in my sleep. I can feel like I literally like,
Starting point is 00:46:57 I can feel like his eyes burning holes into the back into my head while I sleep in his bed. This specific morning yes every sleep like I beg you I beg you to sleep in my bed every night I asked you I literally sent you take you sleeping in my bed tonight Queen yeah I want you to sleep in my room but this morning I was under I wanted to record I really I really was under a lot of pressure you No you were, you were and I do like, I genuinely, I love you so much and I don't take for granted the things you do as the man of this house.
Starting point is 00:47:33 And I genuinely do love that. This morning you laying in bed, like not because I was like she needs to help me do this shit or whatever, I was just like she needs to get out of bed now because it takes her four hours to get ready. You got ready fast as fuck today. Congrats. You're fucking lations clock it like you When I straighten my hair it literally cuts down my get ready time by So much because my hair is what takes the most time because without fail I'm not the kind of bitch to get up and like do my hair if it's curly like if I'm wearing it curly
Starting point is 00:48:03 I always wait till I start to get ready, which rain got on me and she was like, you need to just stop doing that. And I was like, I know, but like whatever. So I straighten my hair because I knew this week was going to be a lot. And we straighten our hair together, though. So it was really sweet. We had a night and like made a train my hair and then I straightened his hair. And like it did cause a lot of smoke in the house.
Starting point is 00:48:23 But I think it was just the heat protectant that I put on the hair. Cause it looks so good. Well, no, it's not supposed to be smoky. It melted. Oh, I'm sorry. Have you ever straightened your hair with your girlfriend? No, but I just know this stuff
Starting point is 00:48:38 cause I'm an ally to women and gay guys. So don't point at me when you say gay guys. Oh my God. That's a straight bully. Okay. Really? The thing is, if Drew showed up like this in my face when I was 18, 19, I'd be like, I literally need to have sex with him.
Starting point is 00:48:55 And that was just actually not actually, no, the hair is too much, but like your hair was just like any other color or actually, I don't know. Like I was on some freak shit. Like you were really any guy who was kind of like a girl I was like baby come through I was not no you were not kind of like a girl but you were very effeminate like I really liked effeminate guys no I'm like like all the men if you look at me I'm really mad now I've come to terms where I'm like, oh, okay, like I do just have the disease being bi
Starting point is 00:49:25 and like I can like, like. Stop. It's so scary. What is he doing to you? He's just staring at me and like flirting with me with his hair. You usually love that. Why don't you love it?
Starting point is 00:49:37 It's different with the wig. Hair theory. Wait. Hair theory. It's literally hair. Hair and glasses theory. Hair and glasses and science is real t-shirt theory. It's really a theory that we're like tapping into.
Starting point is 00:49:48 No, but this really does like make everyone like violently uncomfortable. Like this look on me for some reason. You have to do the thing with it, the thing I hate. And I'm not gonna look, but. The sound is so gross. It makes everyone like really look at me different. And I'm like-
Starting point is 00:50:06 Well, it's because you start acting fucking weird. You literally start acting weird. He was acting so weird with me and Josiah. Every now and then he would just literally get into this extremely, oh, he started moaning in the back seat at one point. Like, yeah, I'm not kidding. And oh, he started acting like he was touching his self.
Starting point is 00:50:23 Like, his self. Hermself. Oh my kidding. Oh, he started acting like he was touching his self like his self Her self Oh my god, um, well I donated all of my rent money to kaisen at so I can't afford to pay rent this month You are so I will say it's really nice after a long day of work to go home and spend time with him Do you watch a kaisen at I've never I've never watched it live, but I've seen I watched one in my tik-tok I watched one with Josh Like a live stream, but I see all his clips. He's literally like Smart it's it's actually kind of insane how like
Starting point is 00:51:03 He was able to step up production especially coming from like we've been on the internet for so long. And it really does take a certain kind of like pep in your mind and like mindset and grind set to get there. And I just don't have it because every time I get overwhelmed, I just want to put a gun in my mouth. Exactly. I wanted to bring up a TikTok really quick. Just take a look at this. This was, this is me. Wait.
Starting point is 00:51:33 Fuck. Give me a second. Oh me, this is me leaving Drew's house at 3am a couple of months ago. What does it say? This is what it sounds like when you are on your way home and it finally hits you. That was really the last time. It really was the last time. You know when you see a TikTok you get really emotional. You're like, that was so relatable.
Starting point is 00:51:55 So that's what I watched. But you come here all the time because it's like your job to come here. Yeah but he doesn't. But we stopped. He doesn't use me as a human fleshlight anymore. Yeah we stopped. Why? He hates the wig. Because I'm, I don't stop. He doesn't use me as a human fleshlight anymore. Yeah, we stop. Why? He hates the wig. Because I'm not, that's not why.
Starting point is 00:52:08 Have you not been taking it off? No. I guess when I, when I, okay, when I straighten his hair, I will say the kind of smoke that came out, I was a bit worried it would be clued to his head and I think it's clued to his head permanently. I can't take it off. I think I melted it to his head.
Starting point is 00:52:21 I really, no, I really think there might be like, No, I think you don't want to take it off think there might be chemicals inside of it. There might be chemicals inside of it. Yeah, I have gender euphoria right now. I think there's chemicals inside of it that actually do go to my brain and make me a little more loose. I feel like I'm on a shot right now.
Starting point is 00:52:39 Like a shot of alcohol? I'm not even kidding if I wanted to do drugs for some reason, I think I would ask you. I would be like, Hey, do you know anybody? Like I feel like you would know somebody. I don't even do drugs anymore. But that's what I'm saying. You could figure it out. I could. I'll figure out whatever you guys need. If you guys need something, I'll fucking take care of it. Get me below. I want blow. I want shrooms. I'm going to do blow and shrooms and then pop some Molly.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Should we do blow on the podcast? Yeah, I think we're gonna do an episode where instead of just like- A coke episode instead of a drunk episode. People are really so mad that I'm a like The kind of person who mentions how often I smoke weed and stuff. First of all, you guys are so fucking fake I already mentioned I have OCD. You might find that I'm a bit fucking repetitive you goddamn freak-a-leak to Fine, you're tired of hearing me talk about smoking weed
Starting point is 00:53:31 Okay, I'm literally moving up in ranks. I think I'm gonna do math exactly I can talk about drinking which recently I've been drinking with other people and that's really fun You're drinking alone Don't I used to drink alone. I can't even get on you. I used to drink alone all the truth I've been drinking with other people and that's really fun. You're drinking alone? Dumb, I used to drink alone. I can't even get on you. I used to drink alone all the time. Really?
Starting point is 00:53:49 Yeah, when I was really depressed and like, my year of rest and relaxation, I literally, even in a YouTube video that I saw recently, I was like talking about how I was like drinking alone. Like I was like, I was actively drinking alone. Like I would have vodka bottles under my bed. I've said that on the podcast before, though. I couldn't go to sleep without a lot of melatonin in it.
Starting point is 00:54:10 Vodka. Vodka. Vodka. Night night. The sleep time was 7 a.m. To 7 p.m. Drink all day and then no way. Drink all night. Drink all night, sleep all day. I was out at a party with one of my friends and Anna Taylor Joy was there.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Anya Taylor Joy. Yeah, Anya Taylor Joy. She speaks Spanish. She is like, she is literally two feet tall. She's the smallest person I've ever seen in my life. It's really cutesy. She is fucking stunning, gorgeous in person. Like it really translates to IRL.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Like obsessed with her. Two things, one, did not see her not moving the entire night. Like she was walking somewhere always. Like she never stopped and stood to dance, to stand and talk to her friends. She was always moving around. Um, two, I wanted to troll her so bad because I was in my devious lick era. Like I really wanted to like, I was like a little drunk because and like the troll comes out when I'm drunk and I really wanted to go up to her and just like Be fucking psycho, but my buddy was like no you can't do that. Like please don't do that
Starting point is 00:55:33 Also, like it really is that thing where like not only is she a girl But you forget that you look like a straight guy once you come up to a girl You would literally have to come up and be like Hey Queen girl you would literally have to come up and be like, hey, Queen. Otherwise, Drew coming up to like a random woman really does kind of seem like a threat with no like with no words spoken because you are hot. Also, your eyes recently, I'm not kidding. You've had like a glow and a twinkle in your eyes recently. I'm like, you're so cute. I'm full of life now. I know because I filled you up. Thank you. Kai, your turn. What do you want to say about me now? You look very handsome and your skin looks amazing and
Starting point is 00:56:09 You have a perfect print. I've I was noticing that right now your print goes crazy. Thank you Kai Alright y'all sound off in the comments. Let me know how sexy beautiful I am My nail tech made my nails too short one One thing about Inya and her goddamn nails is it's gonna go violently wrong every time. I don't think you've ever gotten nails in your life. I don't have a nail tech I like, guys. Like, sound off in the comments. The girls know what's happening.
Starting point is 00:56:33 Like, seriously, it's a struggle. And like, actually, no, they look good, but I just wanted something more specific. Like. Pacific. Well, the girl who did my nails last time, who I talked about, and she really fucked with me. Oh wait, actually, I have to give you an update.
Starting point is 00:56:47 My nail tech, because did you see the girl who was doing my toes last night? Remember on the last episode or wherever I talked about it, like the girl who hated me but did my nails really well? That was the girl. And yesterday, her vibe was so different. And I do- She was sweet.
Starting point is 00:57:00 She was so nice to me. She is so aggro with me, but I love her and she does a good job on my feet and my hands, but she only did my feet yesterday. She does sweet. She was so nice to me. She is so aggro with me, but I love her. And she does a good job on my feet and my hands. But she only did my feet yesterday. She does this. She'll be doing my feet and go. I know she was hitting the fuck out of you. She smacks the fuck out of me.
Starting point is 00:57:16 I saw it. Did you see me laugh out loud? Yeah, it was cracking. Like she smacks me the whole time. But then yesterday she was being so nice to me and I genuinely I'm not kidding. I don't think she recognized me from last time because yesterday I went in. Oh, you had curly hair. And I like, the first time I went in and I had curly hair, it was like not looking that good because I was too lazy
Starting point is 00:57:32 and it was like in a side bun and I had like a hoodie on and no makeup on. Also, can I tell you something? What? You just hit one of my testicles with your hand. You touched my balls when you slapped my leg. I'm not even kidding and it hurt. And I was gonna let you rest not knowing, but I needed to tell you. I hit your knees. I'm not even kidding and it hurt and I was gonna let you rest not knowing but I needed to tell you. I hit your knees. I didn't hit your fucking
Starting point is 00:57:49 balls. You hit one of my you hit my right ball. This is worse than when I gave you blue balls and you screamed at me. Don't give me blue balls. Well Drew is so lucky because the blue balls goes right to his hair. Anyway the thing she did yesterday that cracked me up I love her so much and I actually hope she's in love with me. But she gave me, first of all, she gave me a free massage because I didn't ask for a massage. She gave me a free massage and we weren't talking and she was just like smiling at me
Starting point is 00:58:15 and massaging my feet, my leg. But I, before I went in, I had smoked and like every time I smoke, I like rub my feet together and she had oiled my feet and my feet hurt so I was rubbing my feet together and she came by and did this she like I was rubbing my feet she goes grab both my feet went wow and then walked away from me and my high ass like she did it she was like stop and like because she had just given me a feet massage a foot massage so she stopped and like squeezed my feet and she was like, touched my feet again
Starting point is 00:58:48 and then kind of winked at me and smiled and walked away. And I laughed so hard. I felt so bad. I like literally cause it was so jarring cause she'd walked away and disappeared. And then I just see her come back in my peripheral, stare me in the eyes, touch my feet. And she was like,
Starting point is 00:59:04 and then just walked away, and I didn't see her for the rest of the time. But I'm excited to go back to her because I hope she treats me like that forever. Like a princess. She treats me like the mom I never had because she's like stern and aggressive and then gives me love.
Starting point is 00:59:18 So Stockholm syndrome. So I hope she's in love with me. I have Inya Stockholm syndrome. Good, in love with me. I have Inga Stockholm syndrome. Good, everybody should with me. Okay, should we tap into media? No. Losing You by Solange. Oh my fucking God.
Starting point is 00:59:38 I've listened to that song, I think, more than any song I've ever listened to in my entire life. I think that's one of the best songs of all time. It is so fucking good. It's sorry, sorry, sorry good. And then this one, like, that it's like a big song on TikTok, but I've like been listening to it
Starting point is 00:59:57 and I was like, wait, this is a good song. And then I saw him like perform and I'm like, oh wait, this kid's like super talented. He's only 19, but it's that somber kid with the song, Undressed. I was like, this is really cool, like for 2025. Oh, I've seen him. Yeah, and you've heard his this song
Starting point is 01:00:27 Wait, let me get to the part. Oh But then he has this back to friends song too that I like liked but I don't know I Losing you by so long just the one and then What's the Michael Jackson part? It's the fall falling in love by Michael. Yeah. It's the feeling of love that makes me cry. Cry.
Starting point is 01:00:53 Falling in love, you got me falling in love. Then I've just been watching the NBA, rest in peace, Jason Tatum. I'm so sorry that happened to you. You did not deserve that. Even though you get clowned on, that's really dark-sided and I'm sorry that happened. And I am rooting for OKC.
Starting point is 01:01:09 And if you're not rooting for OKC, you're gay. My media of the week is Welcome to Hollywood by Beyonce, Gizer by Eris the Planet, Chanel by Baby Sosa, Stars by Pink Pantherous, Romance by Beth Gimmons, and Rustin Man, and Underneath the Moon, Maggie and Terroche, and Bull in the Heather song. Ferreiro Roche.
Starting point is 01:01:35 And then for movies, I watched Pretty Woman. I am obsessed. I am obsessed. I would like that experience right now. But that won't happen. I don't know what accent that is. Like ever since Italy, I tried to do like an Italian accent and now it's just like turned into whatever that is.
Starting point is 01:01:54 And I'm sorry, but like, I'm actually gonna fucking kill myself soon. Bye. Bye guys. Bye! Bye guys!

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