Empty Netters Podcast - 8. Pond Hockey Is The Coolest Thing On Earth

Episode Date: December 8, 2022

00:00 Intro.   09:40 Fantastic Naps and Where to Take Them     15:46 Stop crying over big hits    24:31 Cassidy was too hard on his players      49:19 If you can't lift a backhand you aren't good     54:16 Goalie helmets are works of art       1:07:26 Normalize hooking and tripping               GET 15% OFF YOUR FIRST ONLINE ORDER AT https://www.siphecho.com/ WITH PROMO CODE "NETTERS" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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So get on this train, the EchO Tequila Soda train, because it is going to change the way you enjoy canned cocktails. Now, let's get into the Empty Netters podcast. And we're back. Welcome back. Welcome back, folks, to another episode of the Empty Netters podcast. And I got to tell you, I feel like shit. You need a nap badly.

It's, I don't know what it is. I'm old now. I guess, but I didn't, there's nothing worse than feeling awful on a Monday and not having a good excuse for it. I didn't really do anything this weekend. I didn't go out at all on Friday. I drank during the USA game. Let's have some nice recognition and a raise in our glasses to the U.S. men's soccer team for doing exactly what they always do. Really impressive stuff. The golden generation is here. Yeah, get out of the group stage and get murdered in the first rockout round generation has arrived, just like they've been here for my entire life.

It's, I, I love that team so much. And I love the boys. I love USMNT. And I think they're going to be great. I believe that in four years of the World Cup, they'll have four more years of all playing together, building chemistry, being a great team. And I'm holding out hope for that. It was a little funny just being like living in this era of the new US men soccer team. And they were like, oh, no, we just, we lost in the first round of the knockout stage again. We, we stink. No, no, no. It doesn't look competitive, though.

I know if you watch the game, there are stretches of that game. I'm happy to admit that you're like, no, we were carrying the play. That first goal felt against the run of play. If Pula 6th chance goes in at the beginning, different ballgame maybe, but the Dutch, you just can't be outclassed like that up. Yeah, completely carved us up. It was tough. It was a bummer.

But I drank during that. I then went to a couple bars after that. And then, I mean, I was in bed by 10.30. Yep. And I didn't do anything yesterday. I went to a play. I was going to say, we did something yesterday. We saw Book of Mormon.

Which was lovely. But that shouldn't make me tired. Yeah, well, it's, it's, well, first of all, it's Monday, dude. Like, we record podcasts on a Monday, so I feel like you could open every episode like this. Welcome back to the Epinators podcast, and I feel like shit. That could be the standard opening. It's Monday. That's the most consistent thing about this show is that I feel like shit.

every episode. But we went to dinner before. We had some drinks at dinner. Yeah. We had some pizza. Or you got steak tips. Yeah. Dan goes to a bar.

It goes to the bar and everyone's getting wings and pizza and, you know, mac and cheese, truffle mac and cheese apps. And Dan is like this. I'll have the steak tips, please. The steak tips at the bar. Listen, the way you're saying it makes it sound weird than it is. No, trust me, it was. I'm not even expressing how weird it was.

We went to a bar in Hollywood called Elbow Room, and that place is known for and famous for their steak tips. I have adopted a new strategy when I go to a restaurant or a bar. If you are known for something, I want to get that something. Here's a policy I live by. If you are at a place, a restaurant or a bar, that has a sports game on the television with the volume on, you don't get steak there.

If a place, if an establishment is playing the volume, of a sports game, which has value in this life. I love those places. I love watching games at those places. You can't get steak. You don't order steak at a place with a sports game volume on. This is a rule to live by. I think that that in general is probably a smart rule.

But what if the place is known for their steak tips? It's like a weird, they're like, yeah, I know that this is a sports bar vibe, but our steak tips are good. Because I'll tell you right now, buddy, those steak tips were fantastic. They looked pretty sick. They were delicious. And they came with. You didn't even give me a bite.

They came with this. unbelievable sauce. Yeah. It was, it was just unreal. I was, I was jealous looking at them, I got to say.

I know that everyone at the tape. The second my steak tips got dropped, everyone wanted my steak tips. I didn't know what I wanted them, but I was just, I was too stressed about my order not coming out, and we were going to be late. Let's actually discuss that,

too. You ordered a full pie. I want to split. I put down a 20 inch of myself. No, I ordered a full pie to share. You ordered a pizza pie to share. with some, by the way, pizza pie is one of the funniest terms.

Every time I say it, when people go like this, yeah, I ordered a pizza pie. Yeah, and New Yorkers just say pie, I think. Yeah, all right, people go, why don't we get a couple pies? I hate it. What? They're pizzas. You have the pizza pies.

No, yeah, that's not for me, man. We order a couple pizzas tonight, not ordering a couple pies tonight. Oh, come on. When in Rome, buddy? Yeah, well, we're not in Rome. Get a couple pizza pies. But you ordered a full pie to split with someone, because you both were like, I'd like probably two slices.

Yeah, and it was cheaper. Our buddy Marty was like, I'd like two slices as well. Do some quick math. That adds up to a full pie. Bingo bingo. So here's my question for the listeners, for you, for Emily. You're at a place that serves a lot of pizza, and you go like this, I'd like a pepperoni pizza. There's two full pepperoni pizzas in the spinning thingy for slices.

Yep. but you go, I'd like a pepperoni pizza pie. I don't care how fresh it is. Just give me those eight slices. I'm looking at a full pie right there. There's a full pepperoni pizza right there. And then the people at said establishment go like this. No, you can't have those.

Those are our slices. Are you asking me if I support that or not? What do you think about that policy? As the consumer. Just so people understand, if you order eight slices, it's more expensive than a full pie. So it's not like you could have changed your order and gone, okay, well, I'll take eight slices of pepperoni. Yeah. Because that's more expensive than the full pie.

as a consumer, in this scenario, which has come up in my life a lot, I'm always on the consumer side because I don't own a pizza establishment, unfortunately. So as a consumer, I hate this policy because I'm like, give me the fucking pizza. It's right there. I'm looking at it.

But I imagine they are saying, well, the slice business plays. People are coming in, they want slices. We can't have a slice shortage. So they're like, we need that stock. You can't take that because we're ready for the slice rush. That has always happened.

Yeah. But I still hate it. I just want the pizza. Yeah, I suppose I understand the logic behind it, but to me it's frustrating that if eight people showed up and immediately went, there were eight pepperoni pizza slices ordered in a row. They'd have the same problem. Yes.

You're essentially doing that. Yep. I think they'd say, well, at least eight people were serviced instead of just two assholes. Just two assholes. Who don't have the patience to wait for a French pie to come on. That took too long, though. I disagree. It's because you felt you were on a time rush.

A time rush that was put on us by our friend Connor that didn't need to be put on us. Yeah. Because by the time we got to the theater, we got in, we scanned our tickets, we went upstairs, we ordered drinks. Yeah. There was plenty of time. We didn't need to rush out of that pizza place. Smart move on his part because, you know, when you leave it to seconds, you leave it to spare, it always goes wrong. Yeah.

But I agree he added stress. I was there to crack up, okay? I was going to the show to crack up, and I wasn't, I didn't need that added stress right before I got to an environment where I wanted to crack up. You haven't cracked up in a while. I love cracking up with my friends, too. All my friends are cracking up with me at the same thing.

It's like watching bloopers. If I see my friend cracking up, it's probably going to make me cracker. Exactly right. And I got to say in terms of cracking up, and, I mean, really in general, the music, the stage design, everything. Massive, two thumbs up. Take four. Take four of one.

Just really good. Everyone go see it if you get a chance. But now that you're saying I'm starting to think, maybe it was all the red wine I drank at the theater. That's where I was headed. So shitty. There was a lot. There was cocktails.

There was red wine. There was. I got more sleep than I usually do. I just didn't feel like I drank that much. And I feel like shit. And I got, I come into the office today, our lovely almost Friday media offices.

And I laid down on the floor in one of, in our dad's basement room. Yeah. And I was thinking. What are the weirdest places you've taken a nap before? Oh, my God. So I had a job out here in L.A. that was in Santa Monica and in a big building, okay?

It's called the Water Garden. Yeah. And there's a parking garage. You park on like the third subterranean floor when you're a peon like me. And they're like, hey, go park in hell's basement. Is the depth of the basement subterranean. of the garage, rather, does that correlate to your status at this place?

Your status as a human being. Okay, so if you get promoted, you come up a level. You come up a parking garage level. Okay, all right. It's probably the biggest perk of getting promoted. Well, why? I mean, you're just, it's less time in the elevator? Yeah, and less stairs.

Okay. So anyway, my boss at the time didn't have a couch. I feel like you hear a lot of stories out here of like, oh, my boss is out of town. And I ran into his office and napped on the couch. Yeah. My boss didn't have a couch. It was like all the conference rooms were like glass wall conference rooms.

You couldn't even like reserve a conference room and sleep in there. So sometimes during my lunch, I would take the elevator down 800 stories to find my car, turn it on, crack the windows a little bit. And then lie down across the back seat and sleep. It's like 45 minutes. Are you fucking kidding? Did you bring a blanket or anything? I would take my backpack and use that as a pillow And then I would go back up

Why wouldn't you bring a pillow? Because I didn't know No, I didn't know It would just hit me I'd be so tired But just keep a pillow in your car at all times I mean you're saying the right things I should have done that

I didn't do it So now I took some weird ass naps And people sometimes would park Like a person would come in They'd be out at an actual lunch And they'd come down and park Right next to me And I know they saw me in there

And they were like, is he dead? You're like a dog In the back seat of a car at the grocery store parking lot. People, all of a sudden, someone smashes the window to get you out. They're worried you're going to dive heat stroke. Oh, God, damn it. So on my drive-in, I passed an underpass here in Los Angeles,

and there was a really, really intense homeless encampment. Tents, tarps, ramshackle huts. How much money. Actually, I think I have two sides of this. I was looking at it and thinking to myself, one, how much money would it take for you to, you get a pillow this time, wander up to those homeless encampments

and just spend the night in one of those tents? Just walk around and be like, hey guys, I just need a place to sleep tonight. Do they know I'm getting paid for this? No, absolutely. Okay. Because the number changes beside this. This is all part of the strategy.

You could go roll around in some dirt. You could rip your clothes up. up a little bit. You probably aren't going to go down there in your finest threads. Yeah. In my tucks. Yeah. No. Um, the number's lower than you want it to be. You think so? Yeah. One night. And I get a tent, did you say? Well, it depends on the kindness of these people's hearts. You don't have your tent. I don't know. 500 bucks. 500? Yeah. That's low. Emily. What's the question? How much money to sleep under one of those? We're going to find a really populated, heavily populated homeless in under one of the overpasses here in Los Angeles.

And you wander up with a pillow and you have to ask one of these people if you can spend the night in their tent. So how much to ask them? How much money would it take for you to be forced to sleep in one of those encampments? I mean, I hate to make this dark, but I'm a woman. So that's pretty risky. It's dark. It would take millions.

Wow. That's a big delta. I'm risking my actual. life. Yeah. And I don't want PTSD. I don't want trauma. I don't want.

It's a scary. It also. If there was, if it was. It could be incredibly delightful too. Yes. So if there were, if these were safe people and I was guaranteed my, my body not to be touched,

then it would take a lot less. That's fair. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in this life. So unfortunately it's taking millions. Yes. Okay. So now my follow up is.

who in this office do you think would thrive in that environment the most? Either. Like who would do the best? Jason. Jason, I was thinking Jason, because he's a hunter. Jason feels like he could just really do well. I think Chet would do really well. Chet's a chameleon.

I think he would find common ground. Chet's a private school kid. I know, but so are we. I would do horribly. I would do hard. Exactly. Hand up, I would do very poorly. I think Chet finds common ground.

so fast and they would be best buds immediately. And then but you, I think you guys are Jason would come out of that tent the next morning like Danny McBride and this is the end. He would be the king. He's got a necklace of teeth. Yes. I don't know him that well but what about Joe?

Yeah, Joe Joe Joe would have them unionized in a day. I think I'm just doing this based on the fact that he is one of those guys in the office. that were sandals and so is Jason and so is

Chet. Joe could fit in well, I think. He would blend in. Yeah, there's a lot of people who would probably do pretty well. Anyway, I'm tired of shit. Yeah, but something that might wake me up is hot ice. Some hockey. Let's get into some hockey talk. We've been talking about naps

and feeling like shit too long. I'm putting everyone to sleep, dude. Time to wake up. Here we go. Hot ice. Speaking of getting put to sleep, my first bit of hot ice. I want to talk about huge hits. Oh, wow. Something like this is on mine too. These last few nights, we got two monster open ice hits. We got the less controversial one, absolute stud, top D-Man in the league right now.

Rasmus Dahlene laid fucking wood on Nietto in the Sabres sharks. By the way, big Sabres win last night against the sharks. Had to have it. And Dahlene just stapled Nietto, open ice, clean hit, bundled him. Great hit. Yeah. The other hit, Jacob Truba of the New York Rangers. Rangers lose in I think two nothing, maybe three nothing.

I think it was three nothing actually at the time. And Chicago was on an eight game skit. Yes. Chicago wins this game, breaking an eight game skid. Trub was trying to get the boys going. There's like two minutes left in the third. They're down three nothing. The seams are starting to come unstitched here in the New York Rangers in this little stretch.

They're not doing too well. There's some issues with the coach. players aren't clicking as much. Truba the captain, $8 million man, zero goals on the season. But he's having an okay season, but that's not it. Well, tries to wake up the boys a little bit. Andreas Athanasio picks up a puck in his zone,

comes out into open ice and the neutral zone. Truba bundles him. Trucstick. Absolute truck stick. As you assume with these situations, we've talked about before, Jonathan. Taves comes in, captain on captain grabs Truva. They have a little tussle.

Barclay Goodrow got in a little scrap all the boys got involved as Truba went off the ice fired his helmet against the board screaming at the bouch tail on these guys to get up get some lead in your pencil and start playing with some goddamn pride I loved it

I thought it was a as a person who is not a fan of the New York Rangers in terms of any bias I love those guys I love the team in general but I have no reason to defend Jacob Truba here I thought it was great I thought it was sheer passion and intensity and in the moment thing and the internet went berserk on jacob truba in this

play and we got to talk about it because it is hot ice well dude a couple things for you here one dan i love trooper's reaction as well and i loved cane or so sorry i love tase jumping in immediately because my stance on this earlier was i'm like yeah you get fought if you hit somebody even if it's clean which i thought that was you get fought and or or then to get on Backtrack, I want to say, we talked about this, I think that is dumb. I know. But you know what I liked about it? Sorry to interrupt.

I loved that it was captain on captain. I like that it wasn't some fourth liner who jumped Truba, and now Truba has to go off the ice for fighting. I like that Tave stepped up and went, that was a huge hit. This guy's the captain, top D man, one of the top Deman on their team. I am the captain, top four on the team. I am going to fight him. That was, that you could never enforce that, but that made me swallow it.

much easier. I was like, nice, good stuff. But what I thought sucked, to your earlier point, the other episode, Taze got jacked. He got ejected for instigating. So he, on that call. Yeah, he jumps in and they're like, you're ejected. And I'm like, dude, no, fuck that, dude. He's just, he's standing up for his guy. That's exactly how this is supposed to work, according to me. And I think one thing that might help you is if they start making that call, the jump in and help your guy on a clean hit will go away.

As it should, dude. I'm not getting ejected for this. Because let me paint you a picture. Like we talked about when we discussed this Hits are a part of the game It is a literal statistic that is measured in the game What you are saying It's a momentum thing right I bury someone open ice

That's a big momentum thing So you got to jump in you got to defend your guy How about this? I come down on a breakout And shelf the goalie hit his water bottle Selling in everyone's face It's the same thing as you own like this One of my players should come up and bury your face in It's the same thing

you should get tossed. This one was kind of interesting because it was such a huge hit. It should have just been a both of you guys go, but I think it's, I lean more towards the, yeah, toss a dude for instigating. If you can't handle the game,

pick your head up. I'm not saying this to Athenosa, you're a great player. But keep your head on a swivel, buddy. We're playing the game here. If you're going to keep your head down going across the middle of the ice, you're probably going to get buckled.

So the Blackhoss coach, Luke Richardson, says this. This is some of my favorite shit after. He goes, he says you don't see this as much in the game, anymore. The quote is, when so and so is on the ice, keep your head up. There's not a lot of that anymore. And he's saying, like, maybe this will change. Maybe we should start saying, hey, when Truba's out there, don't put your head down going across the middle. You're going to get

Cronwald. He said, luckily, no one got hurt. True was a big, strong player that hits well in the open ice, and we've got to be ready for him. And then on Taze sticking up for him, he said, a great job there, that's hockey. And I'm on his side. He said that about Tate. Or he said that about Tate. Yeah. And I'm like, I agree with all of this. If Trub was on the ice, don't put your head down. That was a clean hit. You got popped. You deserved it. And Taze should jump in and back him not because that's hockey. I love the take from the Blackhawks coach. I think that that is a great response from the Blackhawks coach.

While I don't necessarily agree with this, you know, you got to get in a fight after a clean hit, I think that that is dumb most of the time. I had no problem with Taves jumping in. In my perfect world, what happens in that scenario is Taves get sent to the box for two minutes for roughing. Not even fighting. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. And truth, nothing happens to Truba.

I think I'm okay with that actually Because he did what did Truby do wrong He did nothing, he did nothing, yeah He defended himself after a clean hit And that's what I want to get to next The internet losing their minds going Jacob Truba is a dirty player He's always tossing elbows

This and that, this and that this That was a clean hit man Do you have the aunt quote Because you started saying it earlier I have it right here if you didn't write down Yeah read the Anthony Siu quote He says he's an $8 million man with zero goals So he has to figure out how to do something

When making that much If you can't help the team I guess you try to hurt guys on the other team I love Athenicio this is a garbage take from him. I don't like the, I don't like the quote. I love the player, I don't like the quote. I think it is,

this is one of those things where guys talk about all the time. If you slow down every single play into slow motion and analyze it, there's something bad about, you know, you're off sides on every edge of the zone, every hit. Ooh, his elbow moves up. This was a clean hit, man. His head, he kept his elbow down, he kept his shoulder down. He hit him right in the chest.

Athens CU kind of leans down at one point. Because he's like losing it. Yeah, he's losing the puck. And if you watch it, he sees Truba at the very end. And he's like, oh, fuck. And I'm sure you kind of are reacting as well. The only bit of head contact there to me felt like reactionary stuff from Athens, and him reaching for the puck.

That was a clean hit. No charging. I've seen takes that saying that says he left his feet. I don't think he left his feet. I think it was a classic. They hit each other. It's a monster. And that momentum makes you both lose.

You look at the doll. lean neetto hit they both went everywhere i mean you got two unreal players skating fast as hell drilling each other you're gonna both go airborne a little bit here so yeah i don't like the i don't like the truba's dirty stuff i don't like that that comment from anthony see you i i get it but no it sucks and truba's not out here hurting people he's trying to be the captain of the team 39 points last year plus 25 so far in 26 games this year zero goals six assists dash nine yeah but it's a lot of pressures the captain of the New York Rangers for the first time. You know, there's a lot going on.

After multiple seasons with no captain on the team. The boys are not playing well, as you just said. I think he's doing what he can to get the team going, trying to contribute in other ways, by the way. Like, that's part of the reason I hated that take so much is like, yeah, if you're not having a good statistical run, you do things like that to contribute. That was a good thing that he did.

And I'm sorry you got popped to do, but you don't need to cry about it. I agree. It is, it's interesting. Obviously, like you just said, Truba struggling offensively a little bit, but I would love to see, I mean, listen, I love hitting. I don't like getting hit.

It sucks. I've had my chest caved in multiple times. It's a terrible feeling. But it's part of the game. Pick your head up. And I'm not saying that to any player in particular. I'm just saying it would be pretty sweet if we got back to this place where we've got some Cronwalls out there on the US who are good players.

They're not just head hunting. They're out there playing, but they're also going to lay the body on you if the opportunity presents itself, which is exactly what true. did, it's exactly what Dahlene did. I think those were both two good, clean hits, and I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it from the sensitive internet talking about how it's a cheap shot,

and Trub was out here trying to hurt people. That's not true. It's just a good hit. Agree. All right, my piece of hot ice that I want to talk about is the Boston Bruins have a 14 current and active NHL record, 14 straight home wins to start a season. It's on the line two night in a couple hours. Yeah. Against Bruce Cassidy and the Vegas Golden Knights.

We touched on this last episode, a tiny bit. This is a big game. If you don't mind, I'm going to read you a couple things that Cassidy said. Okay. Okay. And also keep in mind, Dan, because I look this up, Claude Julian for the Bruins, 419 wins, 246 losses, 94 OT losses for a 0.614% of 404 winning percentage as a Bruin. Okay. Bruce Cassidy, 57-year-old, went 245 and 108 with 46 OT losses, which is exactly a 0.614% percent, exactly the same.

Wow. That's crazy. Yep. And went 36 and 37 in the point. playoffs, including a trip to the Stanley Cup finals in 2019. We lost to the Blues in seven games. Cassie was fired by the Bruins on June 7th, and he's hired by the Golden Knights seven days later. They asked him about his first came back to Boston. They said, would it be sweet to end their record? He says, yeah, that's the plan. I'm not going to lie to you. We want to win. We've been good

on the road. They've been great at home. And yeah, it means more to me. Once the puck drops, it's business, but I hope we put our best foot forward for two reasons. One, the Bruins are good, and two, because it's back in Boston. What kind of reception do you think you're going to get? Part of me wants to just get through it. Part of me's curious to see the reaction. I still have friends there at the rink in the community. I was with the organization for 14 years. My kids were born in New England. I have a house in Cape Cod I want to go back to and not have people throw eggs at it. And then he says, people ask me what I took away from Boston. Well, I took away that I didn't win enough in the playoffs. That's what happens when you're expected

to win. And Monty's going to have to deal with the playoffs too, expectations. That's the one thing I loved about the job you're expected to win. And then asked about if Bruins players thought he was too hard on them. He said, we lost in game seven. From that point when you're that close, you push the guys harder to get over the finish line. Looking back, sometimes you put your foot on the gas, sometimes you take it off. I can look back and say, maybe I should have done this, maybe I should have done that. But the way I looked at it, we had to get over the hump. So we had to get more out of every guy in the room. It's a very professional answer from a professional guy. I have a couple thoughts, but you can give me your overall reaction. I've got a number of things

that I have to say about this. One, this is very personal for him. Oh, yeah. You can read between the lines in that statement, he wants to win this game because he wants to motherfucker the Boston Bruins organization. As he should. And I do not blame him. I do not blame him at all. The way Don Sweeney and Cam Neely axed him was utterly preposterous. Showing up at that man's house to fire him when you yourself are the least deserving

person in the organization to have a job, Don Sweeney. Remarkable to do that. His house is for sure been egged on Cape Cod. Not by me. It was not me. That is one thing that is abundantly clear in that response. You don't just randomly throw in the, yeah, and I'd like it to not get egged. Stop egging my house.

Unless someone has egged his house on Cape Cod, for sure. And the other thing, I need a tell-all. And I'm not even saying this as a Bruins fan. I'm saying this as a hockey fan. He's got a great winning percentage as a Bruins head coach. Since he took the job, the Bruins always made the playoffs. Yep, they went to the cup. He absolutely could not get it done in the playoffs.

I think the way he was fired was brutal. I am not saying that I disagree with him getting fired. It is very clear with what Monty is doing right now in Boston that they needed a different voice in that locker room. It's clear with David Kraty coming back and being so vocally happy about it. Bergeron, who is the most professional guy in the league right now maybe as far as saying the right things and never saying the wrong thing, has had a couple times where he's been like,

it's nice having a new coach. Yeah. Jake DeBrusk, who has put in a trade request. and now is so happy here. He's having a career year. It makes sense that this guy had to go. But it is a bizarre situation because he is a good coach, clearly, what's going on in Vegas. Yeah.

I need the tell-all as a hockey fan in general because it's just fascinating how this stuff happens. I need to know what happened and what was felt about this guy from top dudes on the team. Because it's clear to me that a lot of guys on this Bruins team were completely done with. Dude, so the two things that I reacted to were, one, I was surprised at his regular season win record. And then I was like, oh, yeah, it was the playoffs. Because you look at Julian, he's like 57 and 40 in the playoffs. Yeah. And then Bruce is whatever I said, 36 and 30.

He's like below 500 or something. And he's aware of that. He's like, that's why I'm gone. Yeah. I did not get it done in the playoffs, which is a fact. And by the way, we've said a million times, that 2019 cup trip, even though once you were there, you should have won. It's the luckiest cup. It's the luckiest cup.

So, like, I don't even need that feather in his cap. Like he took him to the finals. I'm like, not really. Everyone lost. It was a joke. Yeah. Anyway, the thing that really blew my mind was that last bit about like, they said you pushed players too hard.

And he was like, we, we didn't have enough to win. So I needed more from everybody. And I kind of, I simultaneously love that answer, but while getting that, of course, everyone hates you then. Yeah, I mean, I don't, I think it's a good, or it's an answer that is expected. It's a professional answer to me. He's like, we. We lost in game set.

Dude, you shouldn't have gone to game seven, idiot. That's, you know, I'm not to be harsh, but that Blues team, that wasn't the best Stanley Cup winning team in the last few years, that's a team you could have should have been. They barely snuck into the playoffs. And yeah, you lost in game seven, but you shouldn't even gone there. And I think a lot of that could be come back to certain decisions that were made or not made. Yeah, I like that he was kind of backing himself. Like, he didn't hit no regerts.

You know, he was like, yeah, fuck it, whatever, dude. I went hard on them. But I'm so with you. It feels like the writing is on the wall that a lot of guys, I mean, we have friends in that organization that were like before this off season. They called us and they were like, Bergeron will retire if Cassidy's told the coach and Creachie will not come back. And then Cassidy was fired.

Berg resigned, Kreachie resigned, done. And Jake rescinded his trade request. Everything that was said would happen if Cassidy was gone. It all happened. Those were rumors that we were given and I was like, we'll see about that. And then it all came true. So, yeah, no regrets for him, but no regrets for the. the Bruins.

Yeah, going to be big time eyes on that game. I've got one more thing of hot ice. Me too. It's quick. You go do yours first. Mine is quick. The ducks suck. They stink.

They're really bad. It sucks because I love the ducks. I love a lot of players on the ducks, but let me just give you some information here. They're on a six game losing streak. They're playing the canes next. Yep. Which is very tough because the canes are as hot as they've been all year. They are dead last in the league.

with 15 points, and I don't know that I get it. Obviously, I didn't pick them to be a playoff team, but the way that they're struggling is surprisingly, because they have a lot of talent. Yeah, they got a lot of spunk, and they got a lot of talent. And they've got a great goaltender, one of the best goaltenders in the league. Well, it's a defense problem.

And by the way, it's a defense problem from a personnel standpoint, and some of that is injury, right? but it's also a team defense problem. The forwards that they have, which are super fun, and I love to watch, aren't the most two-way guys I've ever seen on a sheet of ice. Yeah. The ducks, their wings are clipped.

Their wings are clipped. They are on, you know, they're on pace for a pretty... Well, throw Bedard into that mix, and now we've got a stugel on it. You've got a squadron of young talent if Bedard joins that team. It would be pretty cool. Do you think it's fun to play in Anaheim? Is Anaheim a good destination?

Because on the one hand, you're the ducks. That's pretty cool. But like we talk about, you're not the mighty ducks. You have an option staring you in the face of awesome jerseys and an awesome mascot. But you went with just the ducks and weird colors. Weird colors. And I recently, we were talking about, I think we ranked the reverse retroes. Yeah.

That's exactly what it was. On the empty netters Instagram, we were ranking the reverse retroes. And the Ducks went with the Disney Mighty Ducks logo. But they went with their orange, black, and yellow, gold color scheme. And I was like, why in the world, don't you just go the mighty, just do the Mighty Ducks jerseys? Put the Polkoreas on in show. What are you doing? And someone who is a Ducks fan, thank you for your loyalty, commented, it's an Orange County team.

Obviously, orange should be in their color scheme, and obviously their jersey should be orange. That's cool. to that I said fair play that makes sense however if it were a Pittsburgh situation where every team is the same

a Seattle situation where every team is the same I would understand and I know what Anaheim has what one other team it's the Angels and the Los Angeles but they're even the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim I'm kind of like no one gives a

that you're in Orange County, just be whatever color you want. Yep. Because the orange you've picked is truly horrendous. It's ugly. So, yeah, is it cool to play in... You're in Orange County.

That's cool. Orange County's sweet. It's very relaxing. It's very beautiful. You are a professional athlete, so you've probably got a beautiful house. You can golf all the time. Yep.

Disney is right in your backyard. Brutal taxes. You can go to an Angels game for about $10. Yeah. Whenever you want. Go see Mike. Go see Mike play baseball.

I think it's, I think playing for the Ducks is cool. You know what? I'm giving, I'm officially stamping. Cool. The Honda Center where they play has a deal with, you know how like restaurants and stadiums have like Pepsi products or Coke products? So you either have Pepsi and 7 Up or you have Coke and Sprite, et cetera. Yeah.

Honda Center has neither. So the soda's there at concessions. There's like R.C. Cola. No, it's not. Yeah. Are you joking? No, I'm serious. and Mr. Pib.

That's sick. I was right with to say, what is the coolest free agent soda? Like, is mug root beer a Coke or Pepsi product? Emily, will you look this up? Look up if Barks root beer or mug root beer is a Coker Pepsi product. I want to know what the coolest free agent soda is.

Because Mountain Dew is Pepsi. I think Parks is Coke, I think. I think. One of them, I think, is a Coke product. But I'd like to know if any of them. Barks is Coke. Barks is Coke. In 1995, Coca-Cola purchased Barks. Sick.

That's a good acquisition. That's a big free-in-signing. Yeah, that's interesting. R.C. Cola at Anaheim Ducks games. Yeah. That's gnarly. Can't win with that. No, I don't think so. I think they need a deal.

You can't win with that. What the hell is going on here? I should say, by the last time I was there. I haven't been into a game this season. I saw, who knows? Okay, what's your last one? Last one real quick. The New York Jets football team played the Minnesota Vikings this week.

Oh, this is related to the Ducks. Mike White and the boys showed up in Ducks swag. Yeah. And Mike White is from Florida, big Florida Panthers fan, huge Florida Panthers fan. So it's cool that he likes hockey. Is his name of actually Mike White? I think so. Yeah, right?

Well, I'm just curious because Mike White is the writer-directed of White Lotus. Shouts. And the same guy. And School of Rock. Could you imagine? What a career. That is better than a multi-sport, multi-professional sport athlete.

If you are the creator of a hit HBO series and then also playing a quarterbacking. quarterback to the New York Jets. That is cool. That's a cooler. There were some District 5 OG Ducks. There was the new Ducks. My boy, Braxton Berrios, from...

The U. The U had the Hawks drip on because, duh. Braxton is the man, and that shirt is so sick. The Hawks, we talked about it. The Hawks jersey is cooler than the Ducks jersey. I don't know why it took us over 15 years to figure it out, but it's true. So all I was going to say about this was, it was cool seeing the NFL team, have the hockey swag on.

but why? Like they... Yeah, I don't know why they did it. Wait, what? Like, I don't know why they did it. Those photos hit the internet and I just see a team of pro athletes walking around in the ducks and hawkswaters

and I was like, that's sick. That must be the ducks. Yeah. And then it wasn't the ducks. And I saw New York and I was like, oh, it's the Islanders or... And then I was like, wait, why? No, why would another hockey team?

And then I saw the Jets and I was like, oh, cool. I guess... And then I continued to be confused. I guess they were playing Minnesota and those movies are set. in Minnesota, I guess. But that's the hardest I guess ever. The Winnipeg Jets is a team.

Like, wear Jets jerseys or something. It's strange. It's cool. It is. Because they tweeted, Jets fly together or whatever. And I was like, do the Jets. Or so like, I don't know.

Very, very strange. I loved it. I loved seeing it and I support them. But I was like, thank you. Cool swag. There's not a lot of reason behind it. What's going on right now? All right, let's stay on ducks and let's get to the quack.

Get some quack attack. We're going to do the quack attack. Top three teams of this past week. And Dan, really quickly this week we're going to have an honorable mention because they could have got in it's the Boston Bruins they've won three in a row and they're nine and one in their last 10 they're doing incredibly well but it was only they only had a two and oh week so really this week it wasn't enough to get them in the quack attack big wins though but and some big wins they pounded

the abs you know they look really good great way against the bolts if they get it we'll see but they're honorable mention this week so if you want to give them some quacks we can do that let's give them some quack quack quack quack quack quack quack good job bruins all right so with the the top three hottest teams in the league. We got some first timers here. Yeah, this is a good one. I think we got some teams who are showing up in the quack attack. So for the number three, Eden Hall, JV, third team, we get the Preds.

Preds are 3 in O. They got wins over the ducks, obviously. In O.T, though. Devil's in O.T. That's a huge win. Second hottest team in the league. And then they crushed the Islanders, who we talked about last week, our surgeon in the vet.

So that's two of three really big wins. Don't look now. They're 7-2-1. playing the best hockey they've played all season. So in their last 10, they're 7-2-1, that's amazing. They are making a case for a serious playoff team here. So the Preds are clicking. They've got guys just, you know, playing well together.

It's about time, dude. It's about time. It's good little squad. Maybe flooding the rink was the best thing that's ever happened to do. It honestly might have been. Change the whole season. I think you got that rink flooded. They had some team bonding situations going on there. It's like in Bull Durham where they turn the sprinklers on and flood the field.

Need a rain delay. I'll get your rain delay. They got a rain delay. It's pretty cool that the Preds were able to get a rain delay in the NHL Yeah, I've never seen it before. That is not an easy thing to accomplish. And the Preds, the Preds rained out a game. I love the Preds.

I'm glad they're going hard. Okay, the District 5 Mighty Ducks number two team in the league. You brought them up earlier, Dan, Carolina Hurricanes. There's 3-0 this week. They beat Pitt in overtime. Then they took care of the Blues and the Kings, like 6-4-4-2, I think. And honestly, if you go back to last week, they beat the flames, I want to say, 3-2. So they won four in a row.

And they were on a little bit of a slide, right? Yeah. So it's nice to pull that back around. They're looking like a very dangerous team in the Metro, just like we thought they would be, and they come at number two in the quack attack this week. Quick thing about a little player on the Canes. I'm very surprised to say this.

Brent Burns looks very natural in that sweater. He does, and I thought he was a guy that just, he's so imprinted in that Shark's jersey to me that I was like, you could never wear anything else. It's like weird to picture him in anything else, and then I just, every time I pop on a Canes game, and I see Bernsey ripping around out there, he looks like he's been wearing that jersey's whole life.

It's very impressive. So the number one hottest team of the week, the junior goodwill games, Mighty Ducks. We got the Minnesota wild. Makes sense. Let's go. The team from Minnesota. They are firing. We're counting last Sunday as a win.

So they're 4-0 this past week. They beat the Yotes. They beat the Oilers. That's a tough win. Yotes easy. Oilers stuff. Yeah, whatever. They beat the Stars.

Big win. Big, big, big win. And they blew a four goal lead in that game, actually. And then still. Oh, is that right? Yeah, but still held on in the shoot. That was great. They beat the ducks.

Two and two. Two, two. But they're four and oh. They're up to third place. And you know who they're ahead of right now? The who? Colorado Avalanche. Wow.

Just saying. Listen, Dan, in this league and in life, a win is a win, is a win, is a win. And that's four wins. And you got four in a row. You can have the top spot. For the Minnesota Wild. And Chill Carill is on fire. I love him.

You gotta love him. I mean, he's just a player. It's unbelievable. Okay, that's the quack attack. That is the quack attack. Those are the three hottest teams of the week. Let's get into some chatter about just the old game of hockey. Let's play a little game.

We're going to have a little fun this episode, honestly. Yeah, we thought we just do some new boot goofing. New boot goofing. Hey. Zapaterila ballerina. It's going to be awesome, man. It's going to be awesome. We're going to be a quarter of the way through the season.

We thought we'd goof around with you guys a little bit. And we just wanted to have a quick little draft. We're going to do our top four here. Maybe not top four, but four things we're going to do a little draft here about just cool stuff about the game of hockey. Cool stuff about hockey draft. Things that makes hockey cool. And Dan, honestly, we might have to revisit this segment down the road because there were so many. My list is so long, and you'll probably take some, who knows.

But my point is I could do this again and again because we're not even going to get to some things that are so cool that need to be mentioned. So maybe we'll run this back. but right now you're going to get four from each of us. Who's starting? I don't know, actually. I think I went first last episode. Okay, so I'm getting first pick. Yeah, you can go first.

And actually, Em, you're going to chime in here, aren't you? I am, I am. Do you want to chime in? No, at the end. At the end. At the end, okay. Okay. I don't let M go at the end.

All right, so first round, man, it's tough. First round pick, cool things about hockey. I'm going with the cup. You know what? You know what? Hold on. I, when we do stuff like this, I'm always very curious what angle you're going to do.

Yeah, yeah. Are you going to be literal? Are you going to be funny? Are you going to be a little combination of both? And I truly have no idea what's coming with each and every one of these picks. That is a very literal one, and it's one, it feels like it's staring me right in the face. Well, Dan, you know me. Every time we do this shit, you give me a hard time about, I'm humiliating us on the pod.

Yeah, because I take the most outrageous things, and there are plenty coming. Don't get me wrong. But it felt insane to not get out of the first round with neither of us mentioning the greatest trophy in sports by a country mile. It's not even close. It's rich in history, Dan. It used to be a literal cup. At one point, they lost the cup, and somebody was literally using it as a flower pot in their house. Someone found it, they're like, excuse me, sir, that's actually the Stanley Cup.

That's Lord Stanley's hardware. That's Lord Stanley's hardware that's awarded to the best NHL team, and you have some tulips in there. that's a good option yeah it looked lovely I'm sure but we need it back but dude I think you need to do a fern in the cup yeah but then it kind of hides it yeah yeah but it was tiny then anyway

you know it was just the cup yeah almost like a fur now kind of look cool like draped out of sides just coming down that's nice unbelievable trophy you know the bands get taken off and put in the Hall of Fame now but your name gets etched on there forever there's imperfections there's misspellings

there's a guy whose job is to live with the cup he spends his whole year with the cup name me another trophy sports that has a tear caker, tear caker 24-7, 365. You can't try to say caretaker again. Oh, what did I say? I think you said tear-kaker.

I think I did it twice. Care-taker. Let's take that again. M, roll that back. We'll take, they have a caretaker living with the cup, 24-7-365. He's got the white gloves, you get the whole thing, and Dan, the other trophies. Let's go through the other trophies real quick. I was about to say, I don't even know what makes a claim.

I think you've got the Lombardi trophy. Dumb. Dumb. It's ugly. It's too shiny. The second guys get it. You can see the fingerprints and scuffs all over it. The Stanley Cup's already scuffed.

It's already dented. It's already scarred. So you can't even see that stuff. It's a weird shape. You can't. No one really knows how to hold it. When you get the Stanley Cup, you know exactly how you're grabbing it.

Of course. No one's grabbing it like this. You're not grabbing it like a, you know, like a baby. Yeah, right. Picking it up, looking at it going, is this thing mine?

You know how you're grabbing the Stanley Cup. The Lombardi trophy. Some guys go right under the ball. You get it. Yeah. choking it. It's a, it looks like, it's weird. Uh, the World Series trophy is so dumb. Oh, dude, that looks like you won the Model UN. It's, it flag day. Congratulations. You won the debate team. Yeah, you're on the flags. What a stupid trophy. Uh, Larry O'Brien, also dumb. That's basketball.

It looks like the Lombardi trophy, but the ball's on the side and it's, yeah, it does look like the Lombardy trophy. It just, it's, you know what I, I think the, uh, MVP of the, the NBA playoffs is a cooler trophy. It's just the, it's the hoop and the ball's going down into the hoop. Okay. It's just more, yeah, that's cooler. Straight up and down. It's more structured. Honestly, the World Cup trophy is the only one that I'm like, that's probably, that's kind of cool. That's pretty cool. It's too small. It is too small. And dude, the cup's the only trophy you can drink out of, like, what are we talking about? Yeah, it's, I'm, the good news is I don't think a lot of people argue this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, everybody listen up. It's the best trophy in sports. Is the NCAA football trophy still that crystal football?

Or is it now that big stupid wooden block than everyone in the NCAA against? No, but it's not the crystal ball anymore, I don't think. It's like, what team do you think of when you picture that crystal ball? LSU? For some reason, I think of the Florida Gators. I almost said the Gators, so maybe there's something there. I think there was that Tebow stretch and that Chris Leak stretch.

So I'm going first round pick, the cup. You go, I'm going to look this trophy up for you, but that's a no-brainer. Okay, that's a great pick. My first thing that makes hockey cool. is ice. Ice. Sick. Just in general.

Okay, it's this thing, damn. Oh, yeah, that's... I mean, it's fine. Ice makes hockey awesome. I mean, it makes it cool, literally, when you think about it. But let's just think about this. Think about the major sports in the U.S. in the world. Yep.

You got football, you got baseball. You got soccer. Those are all played on a field. Yeah. And you got basketball. football. It's played on a park a floor. Cool. Volleyball's played on that too.

Or the beach. Some other things. Nothing else has played on ice. I would say... You've got a major sport with five a side plus a goalie teams flying around there on ice. That's awesome. It's incredible.

And it's the easy argument for when everyone's like, who's the best athletes? I'm like, maybe the guys doing everything you guys are doing on an eighth inch piece of metal coming out of the bottom of their foot. Yeah. On ice. How about that?

It's awesome. I think there's something to be said about, you know, when people go and visit a baseball park or a football stadium, you walk out onto the field or a soccer pitch. You're the only person out there. You're just seeing this beautiful field. Pretty cool. Yeah. If you've ever walked out onto a NHL sheet of ice or, honestly, college high school sheet of ice,

lights are off maybe, and you're just staring at a fresh. sheet of hockey ice. It's one of the coolest. When you're the first one there in the morning, dude. It's cool. You can smell it. Oh, my God. The rink has a smell.

That fresh ice has a smell. And it's just, you can't beat it. I think this should add to your answer to is not just actual rinks, like frozen ponds, like ice everywhere. Yeah, ice is just the best. But I'll also add this, the factor of the ice. You know what you're getting. as a fan when you go to a hockey game as far as temperature. And while I do think

the elements are cool, you go to a baseball game, a football game, soccer game, there's a chance that you know you're going to get a weird rainstorm or it's going to be windy or snow in some circumstances and it changes that's pretty cool. But as a fan, you don't always know how to prepare. Like there are days where you go

to a game and all of a sudden the skies open up, it starts raining, you didn't bring the proper jacket. You're screwed. That's not going to happen to hockey. It's not like. I agree. It's going to be cold in the rink. You know exactly what to wear. It's beautiful.

And that's better to me than... I've been to a couple basketball games. You've got a ton of people in a stadium and they're going nuts. It gets hot and sweaty and muggy in there. The ice naturally combats that. Ice is great. That's a great pick. It's fun.

Really clean pick. Okay. Ice makes hockey. No, I'll just keep going or do you want a snake? No, no. You go. Okay. My second round pick, I'm going to take backhand sauce.

That's so cool. Backhand sauce. is one of the coolest things you can do in life. Because the stick, a hockey stick, has a forehead and a back end. There's a bunch of different curves suited to the way you like to shoot and the way you like to play. And the forehand is made to flip the puck in the air

whenever you so choose. The backhand, no surrey. In fact, lifting a backhand is one of the first things that really elevates players as they're advancing in their career. Once you can go forehand, backhand top bunk, then you know you're a player. Which we still can't do.

Oh, I never, that's why I flamed out of juniors. I couldn't lift the back can. It's unbelievable. The amount of times, you know, I come in and in a play, make a good move, cross the crease, throw the back end on it gets stopped by his pad. Yep. Maybe a low blocker. Get to the bench, teammate goes, dude, that's a great move.

Just got elevate next time. I'm going to go like this. Yeah, I know. I don't know how. Yeah, I wish I could. I've been trying this whole time. So, dude, the sending sauce in general is really cool. And almost could have made this list.

But if you actually ever fire a backhand pass intentionally, up into the air, spinning perfectly, and just lands flat on the other side. Like a flying fucking saucer. And it lands on the other side on someone's tape, no less. Oh, it's so. Dude, that is so awesome. You remember I fired one. And by the way, there's Pavelski the other night, last night or two nights ago,

had a disgusting, disgusting display of backhand saucer. Everyone should check it out. But the other, we played last week, and on the power play, had one of my skates. We were both playing the point on the powerplay. And I had one of my skates. I knew you were over there. I knew there was a guy in between us. I didn't have chance to check. And I just unleashed a backhand sauce. You went rogue and threw a no look blind backhand sauce from boards to boards across the blue line. Our own blue line with a guy in between us. And here's the thing. It was so rogue that it went behind one of the four checkers. And then

in front of the other. I split them. It could have been picked off by two different people. And they both swung at it with their sticks. And they missed. And missed. and then it landed down on your stick. And I almost quit. I almost quit hockey. Yeah, that was the best play you'll have this season. Oh, my God, dude. And that's your feeling is indescribable

for everyone that's never done it. So you just take my word for it. It's amazing. But it's a worthy second round pick. Did you see Drysidal call his stick the burger flipper? I did, yeah. That thing is a beast, by the way. It is a fat blade.

And he throws backhand sauce better than anyone in the league, I would say. I got to watch some vids. Backhand sauce is unreal. Tossing sauce is good. Doing it with your back hand is better. My second thing that makes hockey awesome. Hockey is maybe the only thing on earth that makes being toothless pretty chill. Yeah, that's right.

I don't think if you walk around and you see a person missing their chicklets, you probably think bad stuff. You go to a bar, see someone with no teeth. and they're not old. If you're an older person and you have no teeth, I'm like, yeah, whatever. You've seen some shit. Tooth decay and gingeritis happened.

If you are a younger person, if you're in your 20s 30s and you're sitting there at a bar with no teeth, I'm thinking a number of things. None of them are great. You are either a drug addict and is making your teeth fall out of your head. You're getting in bar fights willy-nilly.

You're losing teeth because of it. And I'm probably leaving that bar now. Yeah, yeah. I'm out of here. I'm like, this guy's losing teeth in bar fights, and I'm in a bar right now. I can't be here with this guy. If you go to that bar, restaurant, party, wherever,

you see some guy in his 20s 30s. He's got no teeth in his head. And he goes like this, I play hockey. You go, oh. That's pretty cool, man. That is sweet. How to happen? And then you hear a cool story.

And you go, I can't. Why even you got in a number of place? And they go, oh, well, I'm still playing. What's the point? They're just going to get knocked out again. That's pretty chill. I really can't think of anything else. that gives it that vibe.

And dude, I bet the casual hockey fan, even some pretty serious hockey fans, have no idea how many guys in the league are missing teeth because they all wear those retainers, like your teeth to slide in there. So they see, you know, the doughties of the world and the Bernsies who are loud and proud with it. But a lot of other guys, they're like,

no, it's not that common. Yo, these guys are missing teeth. Oh, it's tons of them. I've got fake teeth myself. It's crazy. It's ridiculous. There's just an unbelievable amount of guys who have no chicklets in their face.

And it's pretty cool. It's pretty awesome. Because other pro sports, it's not really happening. I'm sure guys in baseball have had their teeth knocked out. Maybe football. It would take a pretty wild circumstance that your helmet gets ripped up and then you get hit. But hockey is just synonymous with missing teeth. Yeah.

And it makes it very acceptable. It's pretty cool. And that is a cool thing about hockey. Sweet pick, dude. Unbelievable. Sweet pick. Okay, my third round pick. Give me goalie masks.

And here's why. Unexpected pick. I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I am a huge custom guy, as you know. I love getting, you know, like my personal, I get my little cell phone cases that I think are cool. You know, I get my Boston Bruin cell phone case. I, you know, put a, the only thing I don't really do is cars.

Like, I don't really like deck out cars with bumper stickers and everything. But other stuff, it's like anytime I have a chance to make something personalized. Can we go on a quick tangent? Yeah, please. I'm afraid to even. say this because the custom hockey jersey crowd has come for me. Yeah. You're all wrong. I love you, but you're all wrong. And I don't need bumper sticker people to come from me here, but I don't get it. I don't get bumper stickers. I think it's crazy. I think it makes your car look crazy. I think it,

if it's your own car that you own, it negatively impacts the resale value of that car. It looks absurd. Most of the time that bumper sticker is going to be. outdated. I think the political bumper stickers are some of the weirdest decisions of all time. Mind-blowing. That is going to be irrelevant in a matter of months. What about like coexist? Well, that's a lovely message.

Yeah, but I just, yes. I mean, put it somewhere else, but that's a lovely message. I'm with you... Our grandmother had a bumper sticker on her car when we were growing up that just said, I heart lighthouses. Like, literally, I... A big red heart? A big red heart. Lighthouses. There was not a lighthouse to be seen on the bumper sticker. It was just a statement.

It was a statement of fact. She gave that car to me. And you drove it. She gave said car to me when I turned 16 and I had that car all through high school. Yeah. And everyone that saw me was like, oh, yo, lighthouses. And I was like, yeah. It is one of the most harmless things. You'd be very hard pressed to find someone that sees

that bumper sticker and goes, fuck this guy. Yeah. Who hates a lighthouse that much? Unless you come across Robert Pattinson's character from the lighthouse, You're not really going to get in an argument with someone who sees that bumper stick. In fact, Dan, I would venture to say that everyone who has ever manned a lighthouse hates lighthouses. Like the people that, the biggest population people that hate lighthouses. Our lighthouse keepers.

Yeah, our lighthouse keepers that have worked on. That's probably true. And whatever else, I'm like, that's cool. Look at that lighthouse. But it's, you know, you'll find the curmudgeon who sees those coexist ones or the Jesus fish. And that doesn't line up with my views. So I must hate you. You're not really finding a lot of people who are perturbed by a lot.

Lighthouses. I might get another one. It's that... I'm running that back. It's such a funny bumper sticker. Like the radio ones too. Yeah, yeah. 937, K-R-Q.

I'm like, do you work there? You better. Yeah. If you have that bumper sticker, you better. I just love it. Because if you're just loving the jams that DJ it from 9 to 10 is putting on the radio, I don't get it. Insane. Okay, anyway.

Back to Goli masks. I love custom stuff. We'll actually take it back because it's a two-parter. These psychopaths used to play with nothing. Like, goal, we just used to go stand there with nothing. And then you had the Jimmy Craigs of the world with the molded plaster mask right to your face. And then, so the next iteration was Jerry Cheever's with the sick, iconic, put in, every time he get hit in the mask, you draw the stitches on there. This is how he would have got, which looks like the coolest piece of hockey, piece of hockey gear I've ever seen.

It's like half horror movie mask, also half go. If you don't believe in the evolution of equipment in games, just look at goalie masks. Right. As it, imagine a goalie standing in that. front of an Alex Hovechkin one T. Oh, it would be guaranteed death. Oh, it's a guaranteed death. Guaranteed death.

So then, obviously, they became what we know of them as today, and it is such an awesome opportunity for these players to pimp that shit, dude. And we have seen some cool masks. We've seen some lame ones, but it's a work of art. It's a beautiful piece of art that, what these guys do to the masks. And you almost never get to see that, dude, across sports. You sound so passionate about that. They're just so sick.

Like, I remember goalies growing up. Like, the coolest thing we could get growing up, dude, was like a new, quick probably. Like you get your new skates, but you pretty much, yeah, yeah, you pretty much had your skates like for years and years and years. So minus that one Christmas when you got new skates, any new cool thing was like, oh, you show up to the locker. I'm like, boys, I got a new synergy, whatever. The goalies on our team, when they would come in with their custom paint job masks, I've been like, fuck, I want, I want to be able to swag like that so badly. It is kind of the, uh, my cleats, my cause version for the NHL. It's like, it's, it's the one thing

that these guys can do. Custom skates would be pretty sick. I think that'd be maybe a little too expensive to do all the time, but that'd be cool. Two thoughts on this. One, Tuka Rask always had the lamest helmet, and it always bummed me out so much because he was so good. Yeah. And he was the goalie that I rooted for. And it was like...

It was like... It was just like a weird, like, growling bear. It was just like a weird, like, growling bear. Yeah. Your goalie mask is like, yeah, just the head of that animal and the opening is the mouth. And that's what he did. It had like red glowing eyes.

It looked really dumb, too. But Tuka, I love you. You have a pick for coolest mask in the NHL right now? Oh, right now? No, do you have one? Markstrom. new one. Oh, dude, I saw that.

It's like that black lava volcano. Sick. Helmet. It's so cool. So cool. But I also, I've always loved Quickees.

Yeah. Like the king crown. It's very cool. It's like a knight. It's like a knight's helmet. And I like ones that do, there's like everything. There's like 80 things on there.

You know, it's like, yeah, this is over here. This is over there. And like I was saying before, you just don't, I guess maybe my cleats my cause and like some NBA shoe stuff. You can get a little customized job. But really the goalie,

mask is the biggest, uh, biggest clean slate for any athlete to really show their colors. That's really good. And that's cool. It's a sick thing. My third pick, you almost cut me on this when I was talking about my first one,

is pond hockey. Oh shit. Okay. Kind of related to ice, but it's totally, well, no, it's your list, man.

Pond hockey is the... This could have been higher, honestly. Well, I mean, I'm not going in order. I'm just picking four things. Pond hockey, I think, is maybe the coolest thing in the world. Yeah. Not kidding.

Pond. Without question for me, pond hockey is the coolest pickup version of a organized sport that exists. You can play beach football, you can play beach soccer, you can play black top basketball, sandlot baseball, whatever, doesn't matter. Pond hockey is the coolest pickup version of a sport.

Lacing up skates, tossing on your gloves, grabbing your stick in sweatpants, sweatshirt, going out on the rink and carving it up. The noise the ice makes on a pond. Sometimes you get those, I don't even know what it's called, but the pressure cracks. Like those echoey cracks. Yeah.

Like through the, Emily, what do you think about that? I was just going to say, I didn't want to interrupt you, but please stop. Okay. I thought she was going to like that one. Yeah. It just sounded, I don't know. Yeah, sounded odd. Sounded silly.

I'll get there. But that noise. You know what, Emily, you're going to look up that noise now as you do your wizardry and make amazing edits to this podcast. And the noise went up. when there's a crack in pond ice, when you're skating, is the coolest noise in the world. And then every now and then you get those pictures online

of someone skating up in Manitoba, and it's just the largest lake or pond you've ever seen, and there's beautiful mountains and trees, snow-crested trees off in the distance while you're just tossing 100-yard sauce across the pond. It's amazing. And you know how you can skate and stop forever? Like you do a hard skate and then you get out like a light hockey stop

and you glide like 100 feet across the clean-ass pond. It is so cool. Pond hockey is unbelievable. You throw some shoes down, make a net, or the best one is throw the trash barrels down. Yep. Get those OG 10 trash barrels. When you snap a goal right in there, amazing. When you miss the goal and the puck goes for, again, you'll never see it again. You've got to bring a lot of pucks onto that pond. We were lucky to have a small pond right in our backyard that we were able to skate on. Plus, there was Andrew Lone had a pond, and the cacognos isn't really theirs, but they had a huge pond in town. Everyone went to. But there is a, it's called the lake, but there's a little lake by the house Dan I grew up and called Lake Carolyn. It's tiny, but it's like, you know, a nice body water that would freeze. And every winter, we, Dan, I would wait for the, for the first freeze, carry our net, literally like hung our net down the road until we got to Lake. We got to Lake, we'll put it there.

Leave it there all winter. And just leave it there all winter. The amount of times, Emily, that we had to go fish that hockey net out of the melted lake was unbelievable. We just began our dad. Every year our dad would go like this. forget the net. Did you ever fall in? Like, how did you know it was like sturdy enough?

I've fallen into so many lakes in my time. How cold was that? Awful. But the good news is I never, you don't ever break through completely. You go like down to your knee and you're like a like you fall through and the edges. Like I feel like people in like picture movies like

me walking out to the middle of the lake and just dump it through the someone tosses a puck too far and the rest of the guys watch them skate out to the middle of the lake and then just disappear. That doesn't happen. It's usually the edge that you go in But I will say this, M, if you didn't have backup skates, you were fucked

Yeah. Because if you went through, if you went foot through the ice Into that murky lake pond water In your skates that you're using in your game that weekend, You've got bad news coming Because that thing is going to be waterlogged for days And stink like shit. There were also people that had houses

That overlooked Lake Carolyn That would see us leave the net there. Like they would call our parents and be like, The net is fucking sinking into the ice And we'd be like, oh yeah, sorry. The amount of, I mean, Truly, we got into such a habit of, oh, shit. There's a, you know, that first 58 degree day in spring, and you're like,

the net definitely just one year we never even got it. I thought it was gone and we came back. Oh, there's at least. There's at least three hockey nets at the bottom of Lake Carolina in Maine. Do you remember one year, like just the top corner of the goal was sticking up above the ice the next one? The next year. We were like, oh, that was our net last year. Yeah, yeah.

I'm not proud of that. They died doing what they loved. We just made our dad buy us multiple hockey nets because we're dumb. Whatever. But pond hockey is truly the coolest thing in the world. And if I had to make a list of things that I don't like about living in Los Angeles, California in general, it's that I don't get to play pond hockey. It's honestly probably number one.

And it's one of the things I look forward to most when we go home. You're always like, should we check a bag? And I'm like, yes, because I guess we get some beaters skates at home. But my point is, I'm like, that's my number one priority. See my family play pond hockey. 100% correct. There's TikToks. I've seen some recently

where parents will make their kids like rinks in their backyard. Yes, backyard rinks. Yes, yes. Backyard rinks are sick. That could have been on this list too. It's a process, as I'm sure you've seen in the TikTok.

I bet they do the progression. It is a process, but backyard rinks sick as well. We all had that friend that had a back yard ring. Same kid who scored the in the dark shootout last episode.

Yes. Yes. Had a backyard rink. Cal Dekato had an unreal backyard rink. Cal's dad put up big stadium lights. Dude. And that was the, The most important thing about a backyard rink was proper lighting.

Oh, slightly disagree. For me, it was proper backstop behind. The fucking ice is irrelevant. Proper backstop behind the goal. Yeah, there was only the, some people, yeah, they have like the six-inch boards, but then I'm like every, I don't hit the net. Every wish I'd take, I've lost the pocket. It's going into the woods or the neighbor's fucking window.

Yeah, sorry about it. So yeah, you needed that big time. All right, give me your last one. Okay, my fourth pick. I'm going to take the Gretzky tuck. Oh, dude, the Gretzky tuck Oh, wow. Is one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

Imagine being so sick and doing something so swaggy that it's your own style. Like, you literally can't tuck your jersey in that way without... I'm going to contradict you here. I kind of, I associate the tuck with Yager. No, that's wrong. I think you're right. I think this is, I'm going to get flamed in the comments here.

Yes, you are. When I think of the tuck, I see that picture of Gretz, actually in his Rangers jersey. waving to the fans with an unreal tuck but Yager perfected the tuck as well I'm not I have no criticisms on Yager's tuck I have no But it is the Gretzky tuck But it is the Gretzky tuck and dude

The half in half out it is so iconically him I might start fucking Gretti tucking my work shirts too Like I'm gonna be Gretzky tucking around this office You will get seward to high heaven And I'm good And I hope it happens I hope you do it is one of the coolest things Like I there's I guess maybe in college football

Some of the guys do like a crop top And, like, baseball, I guess you can do the leg, like, you know, either the pants all the way down or, like, the high socks, Chipper Jones style, whatever. Yeah, yeah. But there's not a lot of pieces of flair in pro sports uniforms that allow you to do that. And to take something like that, because the hockey jersey is so big as you, as you've pointed out many times in hate, to throw that little half tuck in there was visionary. You can't even do it. You can't even do it now. It's illegal.

You can't tuck your shirt. God, he is the man, and that tuck is so cool. And I remember every single dude on our youth teams had tucked. Every single dude was Gretzky tucking because it was just the sickest thing. Yeah, the Gretzky tuck is cool. Okay. Here's my last pick. Yep.

It's a twofer. Okay. My last pick that makes hockey cool is hooking and tripping. Oh my God. I explain yourself right now. I think hooking is becoming more normalized. Yeah. I think it's cool.

as in like the penalty or the profession occupation yeah yeah I think great I'm again I'm doing a loophole yep but hooking and tripping are a thing in hockey oh okay wow I love this I think I see where we're headed I think hookin is work with what you got yep you know if people want to pay for for your services who's stopping you if even though Emily has an only fans now that's going to make her a billion dollars does not involve hooking does not involve Am's only fans is a strictly auditory experience. You are getting an eagasm.

Yes, it needs to be specified because I'm getting some creepy followers. A lot of D.S. We're not getting... Guys sliding into M's DMs, this is not a hooking only fans. This is strictly an eergasm only fans. But I'll tell you what,

if I could have a more traditional only fans that anyone would give a shit about seeing, I would do it so fast your head would spin. I wish I had what Emily has. I don't have that, though. But those who are hooking, I like it. And got news for you, you're in good company because it's in the game of hockey as well.

And tripping, a tripping is a blast. I love going on trip. Tripping is a part of hockey. It's also a really wonderful experience. If you decide to do some mushrooms and go to the desert and see some stuff in the sky or maybe in the mirror. You ever tripping balls and you look in the mirror and just your entire world flips upside down? You just have to make sure you're still there. Yeah.

You just got to like touch yourself. And then when you're looking in the mirror, the reflection doesn't touch itself. And you're like, oh, Jesus Christ. And you go, oh, we're on one now. Yes, sir. I think tripping is just a blast, and it's cool that it's a part of hockey. And I think these are two things, hooking and tripping that very often have a negative connotation around them. And I think hockey's doing a great job of removing that negative connotation and just saying, hey, we got hooking in, we got tripping here.

It's all good. We're a professional sports league. Would you say, I love this pick, and I'm glad that the two-fer nature of it was, this is very in the, same wheelhouse, right in the same family. I really like what you've done here. Yeah. Because I thought it might be too crazy. And it got me thinking, I was like, oh, those are probably the two penalties I associate with each other the most. Yeah, I like the same thing. I think that's why it's a good two-ferred. But I was wondering, do you include slashing in the, is slashing the third triplet? Or are you like, no,

slashing's its own thing? I think we've got ourselves a square rectangle situation here, because I think a trip and a hook can often be the same movement. It is really the same movement. Right. I think that's why I pair of them. I think a slash can turn into a hook, but a hook can't turn into a slash. Yeah, right. Same with the truth. Yeah. Slashing, I just think it's the hooking. Slashing is violence.

Tripping and hooking is lazy. So like, ah, it's just a little behind the place. Slashing, I'm like, why do you hate me? And why do you hate your father? Like, what's going on? Yeah. Slash is usually you're breaking someone's stick. You're not breaking someone stick. Yeah. Hooking's chill. Yeah. Hookers and trippers.

Power to you. There's space for you in the game of hockey. And I think that's pretty awesome. in the space for you in life. Yeah, absolutely. Those four cool things about hockey from each of us. And like I said, with the top, we got many more. But before we finish, Emily, why don't you share with us what you think is awesome about hockey? Just one cool thing, Em.

Okay, I only have one thing because I don't want to, like, fake it and make things that, you know. Because I'm not educated enough yet, yet. Yeah, like, Emily clearly looked up on the internet. Yeah, yeah, no, I didn't do that. Okay. So I'm surprised you haven't, like, could you take a guess? I think you're you're if I don't mean to put you in a box here but if I had to guess I would say that you I know you're right of this hockey dudes are hot yeah that that's what I was going to say yeah

she's not wrong she's not wrong there are hot dudes in hockey I was going to come up with like a list of my top four but I I think I need a bit more time for that I came up with a list I just need to need to read them I think that you should do your homework and think about it and we want emily's list of hot top four hot dudes in hockey but can you teaser us a little bit give us a little bit give us one. Well, I've like told you one before. Um, okay, well, I have, this is no, I think. Oh yeah, Matt Barzell. You think Matt Barzell. I thought it's Barzal. It's Matt Barzell. No, it's Barzal. Actually, I can't correct you right now. I'm sorry. I mean, I could be wrong. Yeah. I mean, I've, I've, but don't you like hear them call their names on that too?

Yeah, he's called Matt Barzell in. Why is it A.L. then is his last name? I mean, we did that whole segment where we showed names to people in the office and hockey names are crazy. Oh, okay. Well, that's the only teaser you got for now. Okay. Maddie B is hot. Yeah. Hockey dudes are hot. They are hot. There's so many hot ones.

And what's funny is hockey just being hot is cool. It is. It's a cool thing about the game. It's a pretty cool thing about hockey. God, that's great. That's good stuff. That's a lot of cool stuff about the game of hockey. And we want you guys to chime in.

Let us know what you think is cool about hockey. Because we will revisit this. There's a lot of other stuff. It's a lot of more stuff. All right. Speaking of cool things, How's Jack Eichel doing? I actually didn't.

I obviously know from just paying attention, but I don't know exact numbers because I've started to not pay attention as much because it's getting more and more painful. Talk to me about Jack Eichol Watch. Okay, on Eichol Watch this week, Dan, he has 13 goals, 16 assists for 29 points in 26 games. And just so you know, that's a 92-point.

point pace. Is it really? Which is pretty fucking exciting for your boy. It's just, it would be one thing if Jack were on a 150 point pace. Or let's even be more realistic. 110 point pace. But the fact that he's hovering just essentially at 90 is just hilarious. How amazing is.

It's fantastic. It's going to be exciting. He's going to make us work for it. The vote is going up today, I think. Yes, we are about to post. I mean, but you guys will be listening this on Thursday. But it is Monday. We are going to post the clip of.

Chris's decision of the punishment for me and the poll that you all get to vote on. Whether it's minutes or shrimp cocktail, we know which way you're leaning, which means we know which way I'm leaning. Yeah. We'll see what the people have to say about it. But Dan, here's the thing. On Saturday, the Knights beat the Red Wings. Jack scored because obviously Jack scored.

Yeah, of course he did. But then Dan, our worst fear as came true, he left that game in the third period with an apparent lower body injury. Tonight, he, luckily, it doesn't look that severe because he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, game time decision tonight and so yeah i think he's fine which which as we said i want this punishment because i want jack to do well jack getting hurt is a nightmare correct and he might be on the ice right now yeah he could be he could um so luckily doesn't look severe but that was always the risk yes when i made this pick that was always the risk with jack so as my dear friend jack

please get well soon we're all rooting for you we sure are actually point base love jack and he's doing great so it looks like that punishment by becoming my way uh where in the world is Austin Matthews. I am, again, very happy to report to the lovely fans of Toronto. Austin is doing great, and so are your Leafs. Can't deny it. Austin, through 26 games played, has 12 goals and 16 assists for 28 points. He's just a shy, just a hair, rather, over a point per game.

The Leafs are securely in second place. They've got two games in hand, but even if they, you know, if the next place, Tampa Bay Lightning were to win those two, they are still in third behind the Leafs. Marner is carrying the load right now. And I think, honestly, that's great for Austin. Yeah. He doesn't have to have that weight right now.

It is Mitch Marner and Johnny Tavar as his team. They are playing out of this world hockey. And Austin's playing great. Yeah, he is. It's one of those funny things where people go, you know, a little slow start compared to last year. Austin, he's got 28 points and 26 games. Can you imagine how many players would kill to have someone say,

yeah, you know, not really playing that great. He's over a point per game through 28 games in the season. Or 26 games in the season. Like, that is ridiculous. Yep. But, yeah, I'm happy to report to you lovely fans in Toronto that Austin right now, you know, he's in Hamilton last week. He's on Lake Ontario right now.

Okay. He's just hanging out, you know, doing some ice fishing. Maybe it's getting a little colder. Might be playing some pawn hockey. Might be snapping some passes around tape to tape. Going to go check out an antique boat museum right off the coast of that Lake Ontario. Maybe he's going to head up to Oshua. Go to the Oswe Zoo.

See some peacocks. Wow. But he is hanging out in Canada right now. He's floating around Toronto. He's very close. I'm not saying that he is locked up up in that rink up there. I'm not saying that. It could turn fast.

It could. But right now, he's happily hanging out on Lake Ontario. He's right in your backyard. You've got nothing to worry about right now, Leaves fans. 7-0 and 3 in their last 10, unbeaten in regulation. Yep, they're on the heater. There we go. Okay, Dan, real quick, update for you on the playoff trail for your Buffalo Savers.

Yes. 11, 13 and 1 overall, 4-5 and 1 in their last 10. They had a nice little win against the sharks, as you said, in the red and Blacks looking fly as hell last night. Undefeated in the red and black goat heads. People forget that. People forget that off. And we were able to watch at the bar, at Elbow Room, which was pretty cool.

And they righted, they went on that huge skid. They righted the ship, right? They sure did. But then they immediately dropped three or four. They've got the blue jackets this week, which you have to win. And they've got a back-to-back against Pitt. What do you need from these boys to make you feel better? We're pulling it together, man.

Listen, the sharks obviously aren't a playoff team. They're not necessarily one of the best teams in the league, so that's got to be a win. But they won. They won securely, too. After they ripped my heart out last week in that game against Tampa, where they were just winning. They had won five to three. And then in the last four minutes, bang, bang, gold. Now you lose in overtime.

That was not acceptable. That we needed that extra point. But that's a big win against San Jose last night. I loved every second of it. I was losing my mind in the bar before heading out to see Book of Mormon. What a perfect night for your boy. I need a bluejackets win. I need they got two against Pitt back to back home and home.

I'd like to split that. would like to win both. But I need a little win streak here. Give me three wins in a row. Okay. Get me back to 500 and the wagon rolls on. Okay. I am not calling my shot here, but I am saying this. I love the city of Buffalo. And I love the people of Buffalo. And I'm with you. I am, I'm in this. I'm committed. You guys have made me committed. The people chirping me well deserved. I deserve getting chirped for calling them a wagon so early, even though they do this every year. I should have seen it coming. But I'm sorry. I love this team.

They're one of the most exciting teams in the NHL. I don't care that they're not a playoff team. They are 11, 13, and 1, I think, something like that. If you're telling me that you can watch a Sabres game right now and not have a blast, you're lying to yourself and you're lying to everyone else.

Because they've got some of the most fun players in the league. If you're making a list of best young defensemen in the NHL, best young Fords in the NHL, Rasmus Dahlene and Tage Thompson are on that list. Yeah. And the list goes on and on. Jeff Skinner is playing out of his boots. He's scored an unreal game in that Sharks.

I'm telling you. Tuck's the man, friend of the program. Oh, Tuck is the absolute man. He's playing unbelievable hockey. You've got a good opportunity here in Buffalo, and I think 500 is in our sights. Get me to 500. Let's start with a win against Columbus. That's a big home.

And I promise you this, listeners, if and when the Sabers lose to Columbus, you will see my miserable face on the Instagram, right in there with you Savers fans because we're in this together. Could be 500. the end of the week. Could be. Let's aim for it. Okay, speaking of schedules, Dan, give us something to watch. Something to watch.

Okay, I got two Thursday games for you guys. Wow. We got the Kings and the Leifes 4 p.m. Pacific time. I just think that that is a fun game. Leifes are obviously on a role right now. Kings are one of the most interesting up and down teams in the league.

Correct. They are beaten the best teams in the NHL one week and then they're getting beat by the Yotes the next. It's very strange. Need some goaltending. But they've got unbelievable players, the goal tending is a mess right now. It's an improved goalton.

We need Johnny Quick to pull it together. And then I got the Wings and the Panthers for 30 p.m. Pacific on Thursday. I just love both of these teams are both in the playoffs right now, I believe. Is that correct? Actually, maybe the Panthers are not because they're just outside of that third spot. Yeah, it might be a wild card. Might be a wild card. Let me look that up right now as I'm talking.

What I love about these teams, they're both just chockabot full of talent. They're kind of had some up and downs, but they're both looking really good right now. Maddie Kachuk is kind of carrying that team. But, yeah, the Panthers are just outside of a wildcard spot, and Detroit is just in a wildcard spot. Okay. So they're fighting for that same season. Competitive game.

It's going to be a great game. Keep an eye on that one, everybody. We're going to have a little action on that one. After our spot-on picks last week. Yes, sure. And then my last one is a Friday game. We got a battle on the Met, Islanders Devils. That's going to be just great game.

Ooh, good one. Okay, okay. Here's what I got for you. Friday. Flames at Blue Jackets. the boys see Johnny for the first time. Ooh, yeah. I wish it was in Calgary, but still, this will be a blast.

He's going to get booed. Well, he's at home. Oh. If it was in Calgary, it was a whole stupid. Yeah, the flames coming to Columbus for the first time. The boys get to dab him up, play a little tummy sticks before the game. See how they doing. But that's a big one.

Definitely going to watch that. Then Saturday, Hurricanes at Islanders, just a metro tilt for everybody. Yeah. Mine was better, but that's fun. It's a Metro tilt for everybody. And then also Saturday, senators at the surging predators. We might be there.

Yes. We might be there. We hope that you guys will see us there. But yeah, that's going to be a real funny. Will I be there? Yeah. We all might be there.

The whole squad is going to be there. All right. Those are the games to watch. Mark those down in your calendars. Get some good puck in your future. And watch those games. We'll be watching them with you. Hopefully we'll be at some of those with you.

So any Preds fans listening right now, hit us up. We'll be in Nashville. But until next week, Guys, that is it for us here at the Empty Nader's podcast. Pass shoot score. Pass shoot score.