Empty Netters Podcast - Atlantic Division Predictions For The 2026-27 NHL Season

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Empty Netters podcast. Can you believe what this has become? There was a full 48 hours where I felt like I was like literally Superman. Jumbo loves playing Fortnite, so he gets on the sticks. Did TR show you the sauna cycle or was that all year? No, no, I invented that. Almost a year now that I haven't taken a body check. That's kind of nice.

Starting point is 00:00:20 So we are back. We are horned up and we are going deep. Finish tonight with some chicken fingers and a few guineasas and ran into you guys. That's where this pod came to life. Ice is ready and we're back with another episode of the empty netters podcast brought to you by BedMGM. I'm your host, Dan Powers. Dr. Watkins is on the sticks. He seemed like he was in a bad mood this morning, but he's not at all.

Starting point is 00:00:45 He's actually fired up. I'm fired up now that you played some music. We played some pre-show music, Van Halen. I'm telling you, I think Jump is the greatest opening of a song. It's amazing. It's so good. And over here, his hand's still broken, but his spirit is not. Chris Powers.

Starting point is 00:01:02 As always. And yeah, I didn't. It smells so bad. Does it stink? Yeah, it's awful. You can't wash it? Well, you could, but I got to take the metal out of it, which actually isn't that hard, but it's like a little bit of a process.

Starting point is 00:01:13 And I'm lazy. Okay. All right. I got to say to you, my whoop band smells like shit. Me too. I don't know what to do about it. You got to stink less. I wash it so thoroughly in the shower.

Starting point is 00:01:31 Like, I brought in. dish soap to the shower. Wow. The other day, because I was like, I got to, like, really get in here. But it's, I don't know what to do. I think I need to, like, put it in the washing machine. Maybe it's like, uh, they want you to have a band rotation. Yeah. You know, maybe they're like, hey, you know, switching up the bands, wash them out, dry enough. It's all faded and stuff, too. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:50 I have also become the biggest whoop guy in the world. I absolutely love whoop. What's up? Yeah. How are you? I just put my, uh, Oliver onto whoop. Oh, wow. And like, Oliver's the most. He's the, he's the, he's the, he's, that's actually dangerous in the world getting all of her on whoop will be huge yeah that's dangerous i'm actually scared i'm sending him all the data and he was like that's a great app that's good data and i was like i'm telling you i know it's great so whoop so talk to us guys we've got an incredible episode division previews are finally here i have not seen this many people yelling at us about the division previews it got me so fired up i've been saying for for months now i am not ready for hockey to be back

Starting point is 00:02:30 I need more of a break. And the people being like this, give us division previews, got me fired up. I will say they're always the four episodes before the season starts. So I don't know, I don't know why. No, I don't think it was like, where are they? I think it was more like, we want them.

Starting point is 00:02:47 No, I think it was, where is she? One guy, one of our best. Rachel. Rachel, Rachel, no, not me. Why are you coming for me? last episode in the YouTube comments, one of our great Netters fans, was like, hey, dip shits.

Starting point is 00:03:04 Like, he was mad. Yeah. And I was like, dude, they're coming. They're coming. But they're here. But before we get into the division previews, we're starting with the Atlantic. We got to do just a couple of quick hits

Starting point is 00:03:14 of some contracts and some tires because a lot of stuff happened over the last couple days. So we're going to speed round it, jump right into it. Start off hot, the very long anticipated one, Kargothier. Great deal. Give this one a tan. I give it a tan.

Starting point is 00:03:31 A fucking tan. I want to do, for each player, I want to do, I'm going to say their contract. I'm going to give you their last season stats. And I want you to say future or, let me think about what we want to call it. We'll say it's a future deal or a currently accurate deal. Oh yeah, the Bulgarian.

Starting point is 00:03:54 the Bill Garon scale. Yes. So if people didn't see, Bill Garon is maybe my favorite GM in the league. Because he is just so, he just like, he's just one of the fellas. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:09 And he just says whatever is on his mind. And he did an interview where he was like, the deals that are being given out right now are crazy. Like he literally said verbatim. Some of these guys haven't done shit. Yeah. Which they haven't. But then he's like,

Starting point is 00:04:19 but he goes, might be a good move. Because if they come to potential, then it's just a great deal to get it done now. Like he's genuinely just one of the boys, just chatting. So, Cutter-Gotee, six years, 13.5 mil per season. Last year, he had 41 goals, 28 assists for 69 points in 76 games. Future deal?

Starting point is 00:04:42 Or currently accurate? Do I just have to say one of those two, or is there a scale? Well, we can talk about it after. Yeah, yeah. I will give Cutter the benefit of the doubt here and say currently accurate. And you know what's funny is, given everything, that's happened. It's very currently actually. Yeah. I mean, he signs for five mil, or I mean, about five mil less than Leo after we were hearing like, they might now be like this, give us 18,

Starting point is 00:05:06 too. He signs for less than Badaard, way less than Mac. Great job by PVB. Yes. And I can't believe they got six credit to cutter for giving them six. Credit to cutter for taking this all caps discount based on everything you just said. Yeah. I can't believe. I cannot believe. I cannot believe. We live in a world where Cutter and Leo aren't making 12 mill together and just being happy. We thought they were going to sign for 10 to 12. Yeah, yeah. Like that is, so it's actually amazing for him that he is both publicly taking a discount, but actually took a massive payday, which was way more than he would have and could have gotten

Starting point is 00:05:45 in the normal world. But the world went to hell and then now he's rich while also being the hero. It's an incredible situation. Cutter in his career has 114 points in 100. 159 games, and Leo has 141 points in 201 games. Pretty similar pace. So, like, I could see Cutters Camping, like, oh, he did. He's the man. So now he's the man. Great deal. And I say again, it's been a tough summer. It's been stressful. It's been a bit of a mess. This is a great job. Yep. Getting him at six, too. Yep. Getting that extra deal. Great. Okay. Drake Batherson,

Starting point is 00:06:23 The Bathman. The Bath man. Also the man. Eight years, 10.75 mil AAV. Drake Batherson, last year, 79 games, 33 goals, 38 assists, 71 points. Future deal?

Starting point is 00:06:41 Or currently accurate? Currently accurate. Absolutely. Easy, easy answer. Absolutely. The last four years, 22 goals, 28 goals, 26 goals, 33 goals. 62.66.68.78. 71 points. I could not believe. Love them. When I saw a couple of people being like this overpay,

Starting point is 00:06:58 I was like, are you like paying attention? It's an amazing deal. Great job by the Sends, great number, Bath, one of the best players on the team. Yep, incredible. Absolutely love it. Okay, we got a couple of Caps moves here.

Starting point is 00:07:10 Ryan Leonard, eight years, 10.5 mil, A-A-V. That's a big-time, like, that's your guy, believe in the future. Last year, 75 games, 20 goals, 25 assists, 45 points. Future deal. Future deal. And that's not a knock. I'm just saying, in the NHL of Yonter backwards or forwards, Yonder's backwards, right?

Starting point is 00:07:41 Yonder's ahead, is it over on Yonder? I think you're thinking of the word your, the days of your. In the NHL of Yor, Ryan Leonard would not be making $10.5 million after a 40 points. season, even as a young buck. But these, today's in the NFL of Yonder, you will. Yonder. I obviously, I believe heavy in Ryan Leonard. Oh, he's dope. He's a dog. He's a brick shit house. Did he almost fucking broke my hand. Yeah. When we were with him that. That's true. Holy shit. Also, the way he just led Team USA in World Juniors and was unbelievable at B.C. Leonard is, Leno to me is like, I mean, when I'm looking at,

Starting point is 00:08:22 the future of that team. I think it's him, all the additions that they brought in. I think he is going to be a monster player for them. And this is not quite, like, do I see Leno making a, it's when we look at the league right now, 10.5 a year. And keep in mind, he's not making that this year. Yeah, correct. He will be making that next year.

Starting point is 00:08:42 I think so. I think that's right. I think that's certainly right. He, so it's like it's going to be a next year. what would he have to do? But let's just look at it this year. 10.5.

Starting point is 00:08:56 Does that need to be 80 points? No. You don't think so? No. I mean, we just said 10.75 to Bathman, 71 points and we were thrilled about it. Yeah. True.

Starting point is 00:09:06 So no. So I think it's seven. But I think it's 70. I think it's 70. So I'm kind of like if... Do I think Leno could go 30 and 40 this year? Yes. The points are a little different if you're a goal score, like Cutter.

Starting point is 00:09:19 Cutter having 75 points, but 45 goals and 30 assists, you're like, yeah, that's your job. Yeah, but dude, like, can we talk about, you got Tucky, Stromer, Kyru, Protas, PLD, Tom Wilson, OV, Jenner, and Leno on your top nine? It's pretty heavy, dude. That's a heavy dick lineup. And I'm like, look at that mass collection of guys that Leno will be playing with. You're telling me he can't go 30-40. He went 20-25 last year. So I'm like he could this year, before he's even making that 10.5, be like this.

Starting point is 00:09:54 Yep, exactly. I'm already worth it. And this is kind of a Bill Guerin comment where he's like, good thing you got him now. Dude, and he's also got, uh, Chickren and our boy, Cole Hudson on the blue line dished to him. Cole's going to be so good. Cole's going to be so good. Oh, the caps are nasty. The caps are nasty.

Starting point is 00:10:07 And then they're doing, they're making great fucking moves. And I absolutely love it. Yeah. Next one up for them. Justin Sortiff. Eight years, 6.35 mil A.AV. last year, sort of,

Starting point is 00:10:20 was with the Panthers for a couple of years, didn't really get any burn at all. Then last year, 78 games, 15 goals, 20 assists, 35 points plus 17. Hey.

Starting point is 00:10:29 For sort if. He is currently on like the daily faceoff lines. Yeah, these lines aren't, we're just listing players. He slotted in on the fourth line, but I'm like, dude,

Starting point is 00:10:39 all of a sudden you guys have an embarrassment of riches. This is clearly a guy they believe in. 6.35 for 8 mil. Dude, for 8 years. For 8 years? sorry? I don't even know how to rate. I say, I think currently accurate. I think, but also,

Starting point is 00:10:54 this happens a lot, dude. People will go come up to us in, you know, they'll meet us and be like, God, you guys must devour hockey. I'm like, yeah, yeah, we know, we watch a lot. And they're like, so you know everyone on the fourth line of every team. And I'm like, no. Like, I, I, I'm not really, not if they're not good. And sort of is a guy. I heard this contract come across and I was like, her? Yeah. And that's not a, knock. I was just like, sorry, I don't. I don't know, Anne. Yeah. You met her and met her. You let her in. You let her in. Sort of I remember, like, seeing. Yeah. But being like, when I was like, eight, whoa, sort of eight year deal. And there's been, there been a couple of people who have been like, why did you bring in Boone Jenner? Yeah, you believed in sort of as much. But it's kind of like, dude. Where do they have Boone? The Boone will be in their top nine for sure. Probably to me third. Third.

Starting point is 00:11:48 line center is what I would guess and sort of is like can absolutely play center I think he's also a great wing has played wing in his life but dude the capys are like it's to me it's pretty fucking sick that Alex tuck is your highest paid player at 10.5 to 2034 yes and like they got just like pretty great contract structure it's remember last app I was saying uh how well Dallas did it for so long and the sharks and the ducks could have done this and they fucked it up. And someone said this to me, but I kind of forgot that the Panthers and Washington are way closer to doing that Dallas thing, where you're like, wait, no one's making any big money on your team?

Starting point is 00:12:31 And they're like, nope. I guess the canes too. I shouldn't knock them because they also are just diabolically sound. But yeah, the caps definitely fall in that category. I mean, dude, they are just going to be so good, I think. and they're the we gave them credit last year the retool by the caps has been it must be tough for you Evan what the caps the rebuild they got to prove it though still I mean I what I would it be tough on me I only hate the flyers the caps for me is mutual respect I have respect for the

Starting point is 00:13:07 nice I like that I yeah I've always respected Ovi and in fact if it came down to an eastern conference final pens caps I would be in heaven even though it couldn't that couldn't happen though right? Not the final. No. Or actually, it could if one of them gets the wild card and gets kicked into the Atlantic. Right. You could, it could, but it would have to be like that. Just any kind of showdown between them and like trying to get another cup for Ovi or another cup for Sid would be fucking sweet. Yeah. For me, for an old, an old man like way. I love this deal. To me, this is similar to how we were pumping the tires of Fraser Minton. Yeah, this is less. Yeah, right, Exactly.

Starting point is 00:13:45 Eight years, less A-AV, very similar statline. You like the guy? The plus minus is really good. Like, sort of to me is like, that's a great trajectory. Love it. Yep. Next up, after the trade, Luke Evangelista, the devil's, five years, 7.25-mill AAV. Last year, Luke Evangelista, 81 games, fucking rights.

Starting point is 00:14:06 12 tucks, 44 assists, 56 points. Future deal? Or currently accurate? Currently underpay? might be a current underpaid. Currently underpaid. And we talk about where Evangelista is going to slot into this devil's team. Evangelista at 7.25 next year?

Starting point is 00:14:25 It's crazy. This one is wild. I love this deal by the devs. Evangelista is making three mill this year. We'll go up to 7.25 next year. He is probably, as we've been saying, going to play with the likes of a heeshire or a Hughes and then a combination of brat, my husband. Mantha, maybe Mercer, and there, I'm such a Mercer believer.

Starting point is 00:14:48 Yeah. We're doing the Atlantic today. Chill. But I just want to say, I'm horny for the devils this year. I actually think, I'm very horny for the devil's this year. I think 14 of the Atlantic, sorry, 14 of the Eastern Conference teams. Sorry. You can do it.

Starting point is 00:15:07 Yeah, I got it. No, that was right. I just mixed myself up with the math. Okay. 14 of the Eastern Conference teams are going to make. playoffs are going to make the eight playoff spots for the first time in history. That I'm not sure how they're going to do it. That is not possible.

Starting point is 00:15:18 But I'm telling you that 14 teams are in playoffs this year. Oh. No, no. You just did the same thing I did. Because I was like, oh, yeah, 16 make it, but only eight make it from the Eastern Conference. And I'm telling you 14 teams are going to fill those eight spots. That's crazy. It's going to be sick.

Starting point is 00:15:32 How are they going to do that? I'm not sure yet. But I was doing these breakdowns and I was like, okay, that team's in, that teams, and that teams in that teams. They're going to institute martial law. And then I was looking at the Met and I was like, okay, those teams are all in. The Eastern Conference teams are going to challenge the lowly Pacific Division teams to a duel. Yeah. And they're going to have to accept.

Starting point is 00:15:51 Yep, that's going to be sick. Love that deal for the devils. Next up, little fun one, Jordan Stahl gets another year added to his little extension. He's making a base salary of 900K with a $4 million signing bonus. It's going to be a $4.9 million cap hit. So a pay raise because he's currently on three. Yep. And he gets 5.1 mil in performance-based bonuses.

Starting point is 00:16:12 current overpay. And let me just say this, all I mean by that is, I was not, I don't know nothing about NHL contracts, but this year, I learned something where you can just pay people one million, if they're a certain age,

Starting point is 00:16:30 you can just pay people $1 million and then give them all the money they want and it doesn't count to the cap. Yeah. So I'm like, why did you do that? We got so confused because the OV deal is like he's making up to 10, but I think I just,

Starting point is 00:16:43 OV, I believe, is at like four point something on their cap. On the cap. OV this year is 4.25. Yeah. In L.A., you've got Zook at one. One. But he's making five. Yep.

Starting point is 00:16:58 So I'm like... And I'm like, why didn't everyone do this? When I first saw this, I was like, oh, genius. Jordan Stahl gets 900K on the cap and then he gets his four million in his pocket. And then they go like this. No, no, that four million's on the cap. And I'm like, this feels like a massive miss. And to me, like Jordan Stahl last year, I think at 36 points in like 70 something games.

Starting point is 00:17:16 And was a fucking beast. And was, I mean, won the cons might absolute ledge. But Stahl makes like 2.9 this year. And now next year is making 4.9. And I'm like, why didn't you just do the same number? It is like this is, I mean, I'm not going to criticize anything about the canes, but this is moronic. Like, what are you doing? It's like, it's not a number that's going to hurt them.

Starting point is 00:17:36 But it was a weird like, this. Why are you raising your cap? You could have saved money. Yeah. But next year it'll go up, so whatever. And then just given a quick one, because I know a lot of Habs fans really desperately were asking for this. Arborzakai, one year, 1.5 mil. Current underpay.

Starting point is 00:17:52 Great that he's back. Absolutely love it. Fantastic stuff. Yeah. Amazing. Great to see a bunch of teams getting in those eight years before it expired, which was unbelievable. And then a couple of higher topics. Sean Horcoff, interim GM of the Detroit Red Wings. This was the one that we were like this is what they're going to do.

Starting point is 00:18:11 I will say the interim label is just so brutal. It's insane. I'm like, you guys... You interviewed people. You interviewed people. They're waiting to hammer out the airbud contract. Yeah, yeah. That's the official one.

Starting point is 00:18:25 They saw the front Poffus clip and they were like, that might be something we have to consider. And just make him, like, do you think it's easier to fire him if he's interim? I think, yes. Short leash. Yeah. No pun intended. It makes me sad.

Starting point is 00:18:38 It makes me really sad the state that the true, Red Wings are in right now because they're like, Stevie Y gets booted, Larks requests to trade. And they've gone all summer without naming a GM. And now they're just like, we're going to keep our assistant GM, we're going to name him interim GM. And you're just like, oh. And listen, hopefully he does great. And they go, you're the GM now.

Starting point is 00:18:57 But it's just like, to me, whenever an interim is named, I'm always like, oh, dude, especially when it's not midseason. Yeah. A, midseason interim label, I understand. A, we spent all summer. we were about to hire the Detroit Tigers GM head off into baseball and now what you land on on September 15th

Starting point is 00:19:19 is interim I just felt a little bit like oh my God sad you guys you guys are in sham you can't spell interim job without rim job whoa people forget that see now that's actually that's actually very interesting yeah you also the entire wing season just changed you can't do it without spelling interim job so you're getting in some wow that's the only rim jobs I give you're going

Starting point is 00:19:39 inside the hole. Penetration. So. Unbelievable. And then the best news of the day for us, friend of the program, Jess Campbell, going to the devs. Let's go, dude. Get yourself a cup, Jess. Manager of player development for the devils. Jess stays in the NHL fucking rights,

Starting point is 00:19:55 which we needed, loved, and where she belongs. Again, like I said, dude, horny for the devils. I think Sonny is doing big stuff here. Dude, yes. And there's God, we got to, people already yell and asked about the division preview. got to get on them because the season's almost starting, but there's a few dominoes that could

Starting point is 00:20:12 still fall that could fucking explode these predictions. Oh, you know, and a lot of them involve the devils in my mind. Dude, I completely agree. All right, let's take an ad break right now so we can jump into the Atlantic Division preview and just go straight through and cook it. Are you ready for some football? Football's back. Football is all the way back, and Thursday night football just got a whole stinking lot better with legendary Thursdays at BetMGM because every single week, every single week you get a pro football no sweat token and if your qualifying wager doesn't hit, you get bonus bucks back. Playing player props, sweet. Bet defense has your back in that case. If your player gets injured in the first quarter, you receive your cash back and you can take advantage of the

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Starting point is 00:21:39 Get that Celsius pumping through you right now. A lot of lemonade, incredible. Incredible. You always chirp us through these, so you shall do that again. And I got to tell you something else. Yeah, okay. This is a theme for me this year. Every year in fantasy football, I have my strategy, right?

Starting point is 00:22:01 And it's not the book. I'm not saying I just go by the book. I'm saying, this is my plan. And then every year it's horrible. And I've had some really good fan of these football seasons, but it's always because I hit the waiver wire hard enough and fix the disaster of my plan. And this year, I was drafting one of our teams

Starting point is 00:22:17 and I was talking Danny through my plan. And he was like, that's horrible. And I was like, you're an idiot. I'm a genius. And then I was like, actually, my plan goes horribly every time. Maybe I should just do whatever he says, even though I hate it. And every year in these predictions,

Starting point is 00:22:32 I spend so much time and thought and effort being like, this is actually what I think is going to happen. And then it goes to hell. I'm like, so wrong. So this year, I have some swings. Do you? Yeah. And I'm just going to ride or die with it because, dude, usually my thoughts are reversed. So these swings maybe will be reversing my thoughts and then and then work. Interesting. It's like when George and Seinfeld is the exact opposite of his instincts. And he ends up getting a job and a hot girlfriend and everything. Yes. This is my hot girlfriend, sick job era. There you go. And that's opposite of your instinct. I love that. I'm going to say I've never seen a division

Starting point is 00:23:18 harder than this. This one is rock hard. That's why I'm making cool swings. And I will also say this. I love the shift that has kind of happened in the Atlantic. And I also am going to say all of my picks, I'm going to say top four, are genuinely neck and neck. So to all the fans of the fan bases, when you're like, are you kidding me, we're second or we're third, blah, blah, blah, it's going to be by a pubic hair. So you're basically first. That's what I'm telling you, 14 teams, 14 Eastern teams are making playoffs. If you are in the top four, first, second, third, or fourth, as in first wild card, or in this division, we'll just say fourth. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:05 I basically think you're first. So fan bases, I'm just, I'm shooting blanks here in the top four. I will confidently. The team I pick fifth, six, seven, eighth, you can have a gripe with me. But the top four, I'm genuinely going to be like, you are like top four. For me, dude, I would say that seven teams in this division, I'm being serious, in my opinion, seven teams could definitely make playoffs. I completely agree to, uh, well, I think you think that I just lied. I think it's six.

Starting point is 00:24:35 Yeah, I think 17. But I think it's six and a half. Yeah. It's, this is insane. Going to be really cool. Okay, ready? We go eighth, for those of you knew here, we go eighth to first from last season. Okay.

Starting point is 00:24:48 So, starting hot, the Toronto Maple Leafs. Last year, the Leafs went 32, 36, and 14 for 78 points, finished eighth and missed the playoffs. Yeah. I'm going to say this year they will finish, and then I'm going to count to three. And Dan, you are going to say a number, and then I'm going to say a number. immediately on the back of you so we don't talk over each other. I think that became the best method. I, yeah, I think that that is the best method. I need one second. Okay, yeah, I knew it. Just one extra second to just think about my life and what I'm doing here. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

Starting point is 00:25:22 God, dude. Go to your happy place. Yeah, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Here's the thing, Dan, I said the predators were going to win the division and then they finished last and I'm still breathing. No, it's okay. You don't have to, you know, this isn't a contract. Just remember that Toronto media will come after you. This won't be on your tombstone. Whatever you say here, we'll follow you to your grave. I picked the least.

Starting point is 00:25:47 I picked the least pretty high last year. Look how that turned out. Yeah, and they were horrible. Okay, I'm ready. You're going first. I'm going first? Yeah, just saying your number slightly ahead of my guess. I know.

Starting point is 00:26:00 This year they will finish. Three, two, one, seven. Third. baby, Leiths year. God damn, that felt good. I've been stressing about that all morning. Also, I've been stressing about that all morning. Also, I'm going to say this.

Starting point is 00:26:19 At the end of every division preview, Chris and I are going to put into AI. Yep. Here are the eight teams in each division. Randomly pick one team for each of us that we ride or die with all year. Yep. So we're going to have four teams this year

Starting point is 00:26:38 that are our favorite teams. teams in the league randomly decided and we will fucking die on the sword. Yep. So we'll see what happens. Okay, third. Listen, dude, basically the last year was a, is a bad fact for me. You lose Mitch Marner and all hell breaks loose. Yeah. This year, and everyone was like, oh, this is such a big year. It's a telling year because people might leave. That's actually this year. Like this year is the big deciding year, I think, in terms of this Leafs core. Now today, Dan, we woke up to like Morgan Riley's sick and Max Domey is like, Max Domey has failed a physical. Did you see this heaven? No. Max Domi has failed a physical and will

Starting point is 00:27:21 miss all of camp and a, quote, quote, a chunk of the season. I'm like, what do you mean? How? Did he have like, does he have a disease? I don't know. Is he like ill or I hope it's nothing serious? I'm looking on here that it might be from a surgery. But yeah, we do hope he's fine. But that's, yeah, Jesus. No, it's insane. So this could, this could, of all my swings, this one could blow up the easiest. But, dude, I just, I've said a trillion times in the show, I fucking love Austin Matthews so much and I want success for him.

Starting point is 00:27:53 And by the way, like everyone who is a long time listener knows, we are from the Boston area. I love the Bruins. And I don't need to, I don't get, I don't need to hear it from my friends, my Bruin fan friends. Like, okay, I know it's the Leafs. But, dude, I just think that. they made they've done this in the past, but they made moves.

Starting point is 00:28:11 If you're a lease fan, I don't know what else you could have really asked for this summer, right? You're pissed at the team and they go, well, we got lucky, won the lottery and got Gavin McKenna,

Starting point is 00:28:20 who I think is fucking nasty. And not saying to me Mac right away, but I think you have Gavin McKenna who's incredible. And then you got radish. Like, I said, whatever. I mean, maybe Radish

Starting point is 00:28:31 was a Power Play Merchant in Tampa, blah, blah, blah. You went out and got radish. Like, everyone wanted radish. People forget that. You went and got him. Then you got Bob, who I know has had some, like, kind of bad regular seasons. He's still Bob. I'm like, you got Bob. He's still Bob. And Bob now has a chip on his shoulder.

Starting point is 00:28:44 Maybe an angry Bob is something. I don't know that he has that. Maybe he doesn't, but I'm just saying this is my take. I don't think that he has that. You bring in a Nick Paul who I love, you know. I do love Nick Paul too. Yeah. Jack Roslavik, who is just, these guys are, they matter, you know. And I am just refusing on this day of our Lord, I'm refusing to miss out on this Leafs train and this Leafs train. and this Leafs run, and I'm happy to be wrong, and I might be. But if the Leafs this year are sick and everyone's like, whoa, dude, what a push. And Matthews is back. He's scoring 60 that I'm going to say, I fucking told you. And if they suck, then I will hide and deny this and pretend it never happened. My fear is that if maybes and butts were candies and nuts, then every day would be

Starting point is 00:29:34 on Tadunkfest. And there's so much of this Leafs team that is built on, well, maybe, yeah, correct. You're 100% correct, yeah. And maybe these players will do this. If they do this, I get a little nervous. And even more so, the chika hire was like, insane, dude. It was just, it's a circus. It was, Toronto League believes are a fucking circus.

Starting point is 00:30:00 And then, dude, I look at a player like Austin Matthews and a player. like William Nealander, who, to piggyback off of you, I fucking love both of those guys. Willie, I've said it a million times. There are a select group of guys in the league that I'm like, if I knew, if we knew each other, I think we would be best butts. I love, come on the show, Willie is like, I think we would be best butts. I love him. They are very offensive-minded players who need freedom.

Starting point is 00:30:32 They need a, they need an open field. to run around and be offensive. And the Toronto Maple Leafs hired Jim Hiller. Yeah. That, if I am William Nealander, I am like, if I'm buying stock in a William Nealander and Jim Hiller is now the head coach, I am like, you're going to make him play a lot of defense and do a neutral zone trap and not be a high flying winger to score goals. I wonder though, Dan, if like Willie last year, who is so nasty.

Starting point is 00:31:03 last year 65 games 30 and 49 79 amazing and the year before that 82 45 and 39 amazing yeah i wonder if though and it's not just because they're both swedish but kempie is pumping in 30 35 and 36 36 and 37 for 73 in under hiller yeah you know and i'm like willie can do that like it's not like willie's like oh now i'm dead i know but willie is a hundred point guy like yeah yeah well Yeah. I'm saying he could be. No, that's who he is. William Nealander is a top winger in the league. As we've said, I said he was the best.

Starting point is 00:31:43 Like we have got, like, people on record are like when he wants it, he's literally the best player on the ice any given night. I just, I worry. I think that there are fears. And what do you think? So what else is he fear, Bob? I fear Bob's health maybe a little bit. I fear the defense. I think, you know, radish is,

Starting point is 00:32:07 what was a need, right? Like, they needed a right shot D who can do power play stuff. But as we looked at and found those stats, radishes pop off year last year, 76% of the points came off of Kuturoff. Now, you have Willie, you have Austin, you have Nyes. There are unbelievable forwards on this group who he will now be playing with,

Starting point is 00:32:28 but Kooch is Kooch. Yep. So that's going to be interesting. but the big thing for me is this decor you have a 30-year-old radish coming off of the best year of his life 32-year-old Riley 32-year-old McCabe 36-year-old Chris Tannaf who's always injured because he's an absolute warrior puts his body on the line every night 35-year-old OEL you're at 32-year-old stetcher like you're a very old decor injuries happen there that gets a little scary for me and then again I do think this offense, you do have generational talents in Austin Matthews

Starting point is 00:33:03 and William Nealander. But Toadrags, who's been, what a fucking legendary dude, he is the fucking man. Jonathan Tavaar is unbelievable, but also getting older, so we'll see there. A year closer to death. But you are putting a lot, and I'm going to include Nyes.

Starting point is 00:33:18 I think Maddie Nyes is like genuinely off. And let's say Easton Cowan. Let's throw Eastern Cowan up there. No, no. Dan. No, no. Let me get to that. Nyes last year, 79 games, 66 points. 23, like he is one of the best offensive players on this team. But I just think in the top nine, arguably top six, you are putting a lot of stock in Easton Cowan and Gavin McKenna being incredibly good if you're going to compete in this division.

Starting point is 00:33:44 And they are. I love that take. I love that. So confident. And they are. God, what a year it's going to be. I think that there are, there's a lot of circus. performance going on in management, in coaching and management.

Starting point is 00:34:00 Which could trickle down. Which could trickle down. You have another new coach who's going to implement a new system and a new vibe in the locker room. We have this max domi thing going on now. You have an old defense. There's big time injury risks there. Not to mention all the Morgan Riley stuff of like trying to trade him for an entire calendar

Starting point is 00:34:21 year. And now it's like, well, is that going to happen or is it not? I just think that there's, it's very tumultuous and it's either going to, the ship is going to be righted immediately or, and they're going to go, now we lean into our full potential of all the insane talent on this team, of which there is a lot. Or it's just going to be tumultuous again. To me, Chica and Jim Hiller, if like things start poorly, that's hard to curse. Yes, yes, it is. But if Bob's a fucking brick wall to start, like, Austin's got his fucking gold metal hanging around his neck and Willie goes, I'm going to pop off this year. And McKenna and

Starting point is 00:34:57 Cowan are like this. And we are fucking nasty. I think that you're... And I think it could go a heck of a lot higher than three days. I think that this year turns into, what was it like three years ago when we were like, oh, dude, they are the best year. Dude, Leaves win the cup this year. Matthews leaves. Oh my God. Because he gets his cup and he goes, okay, bye. I did it. Yeah. Last year, Mac, or sorry, who won called her last year? Schaefer. Schaefer. Um, Sheaf Daddy. Let's see. He had 59 points.

Starting point is 00:35:30 Mack, 63, Lane, 66, Bedard, 61. Gavin McKenna, over under. Or what's your target, I should say? Gavin McKenna's over under this year to me is going to be 58.5. Oh, okay. I'll take the over. Okay, I like that. Next up, the Florida Panthers.

Starting point is 00:35:49 Last year, the Panthers went 40, 30. and four for 84 points, finished seventh, and missed the playoffs. I will say my number first, this time slightly ahead of you. This one's tough for me. Are you ready? Fuck, I hate this. I know, Dan. It's not fun.

Starting point is 00:36:11 Everyone wants the division preview episodes. It's a miserable time. This is a miserable two weeks for us. I hate this so much. Give me one second again. Folks, I need you all to know. I am prepared. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:24 This is how hard is. You're changing your decisions. Like, I am very. I am very prepared. I'm going to look at my fraud watch right now to see what I wrote. Are you going to make it me? Yes, Dan. Unbelievable.

Starting point is 00:36:40 Chris, I don't know what to do here. Dan, you got to just do it, dude. You're going to paint yourself into a corner, and I understand that. You know what pisses me off so much, too? A final. Where Connor Hellebuck ends up is such a fucking fact. There's a nuclear bomb. All this is erroneous.

Starting point is 00:36:57 Yeah, yeah, none of these count. Dude, if there's a single trade between this coming out and the season starting, then we get all of this back. It's okay. It's okay. Answers right here, Dan. The answer's right. He's pointing to his heart.

Starting point is 00:37:12 I know. I see it. I love it. All right, I'm going to start counting, and you're going to have a number by the time I'm done counting, all right? Count backwards from 100. Yeah. No, I'm ready. This year, my numbers first.

Starting point is 00:37:21 This year, they will finish. Three, two, one, first. Second. Yes! God, hot start. Yes, I'm all in, dude. Feed me the cats. I'm just, all right, you can go first.

Starting point is 00:37:35 I'm sorry, I'm fucking juiced. Chris, you say, call me Alf, because I want to be fed the cats. Call me fucking Alf, dude, I want to be fed the cats. That's hilarious. Okay. The Florida Panthers. And there's a lot of questions here, dude. I'm just fucking fired up.

Starting point is 00:37:54 The Florida Panthers are a juggernaut from hell. Last year was the greatest example that you can possibly see in sports and certainly in the NHL of a you have gone to the cup three straight years. Now rest. Reap what you sell. Yeah. It's so much hockey. They came into the season. Literally everyone was hurt.

Starting point is 00:38:17 People got hurt over the course of the season. We talked to Benny and he was like, I have not skated since that last game in months. and that weighs on you. They are healthy now. Matthew Cichuk came back from injury and was a 100-point guy. Like immediately it was like, oh, yeah, baby, here we go. They obviously get Brady. I don't know if you saw, but Maurice said today, or maybe yesterday,

Starting point is 00:38:44 but he was like, we're probably going to split those guys up. Yeah. Which I, to miss out on the opportunity to have Brady. They'll do it, though. Matthew and Bennett playing together. I'm like, come on. They'll do it. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:54 But either way, when healthy, I don't see how anyone on earth, even with what we just saw with the caps, can argue that this is not the best top nine in the league, if not top fucking 12th. And maybe one of the best top nines of all time. It's like legitimate. I'm not saying they're the best team of all time. I'm just saying like legitimately. It's unbelievable. Yeah. So I put them second because as we've talked about two years ago, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, you know, I.

Starting point is 00:39:24 also picked them second or third because I was like, they don't care. I almost did this. Yeah, yeah. They don't care. I totally agree. We've also got Marci missing the beginning of the season with a surgery, which I'm thrilled he got because I like to me, this is that year with the Bruins where McAvoy had a surgery and missed a couple months. Hamas was the best player in the fucking league. And then they came back. And what happened that year? And they won the president's show. And set the record for the best regular season in all that. I love Marcy, getting healthy, play a little less games. Is Marcy 38 now? Maybe. I'll tell you. keep talking. But I'm like, dude, this, I fucking am just so obsessed with this team. I'm so obsessed with this group. And their D dude is just like, Seth Jones, Aaron Akbled, Gustav Forsling,

Starting point is 00:40:09 Nico Mikola, Radko Gudis is back, Kulikov on the team. Like, I, what are we talking about? Yeah. The biggest question mark, which so many people are, when you look at a lot of these, there's not that many previews out, but the few that have come. out and some of the people we talk to, everyone's worried about Markstrom. Yep. Everyone. As am I. Which I think is fair. Markstrom's 36. A lot of, like everyone goes, oh, they got rid of Bob, but they got Markstrom, but I'm like, dude, Bob is 37. Markstrom is 36. Like, Markstrom is old. And he did not play that well last year. Correct. It is a legitimate concern, but they have a Kirishmead, who we believe in. I'll, okay, keep going. As the backup. Yep.

Starting point is 00:40:54 And frankly, I am kind of in the mindset of all you need is Markey and Schmead to tandem their way in front of this unbelievable defense and brutal top nine. And you're going to be just fine. So, dude, there's some real losses, right? Like Bob, I think it is, I said this in the moment. I think it is the height of insanity that they let Bob go. Like it was just a free Stanley Cup, in my opinion, if you just figured it out. and whatever happened happened. We'll never hear the real story, but whatever.

Starting point is 00:41:26 So I do think that's a factor. Erod, our boy, that's a huge factor. He is the, he is the Swiss Army knife of all Swiss Army knives. Everyone, a lot of people get that thing. But E. Rod is unfazed on the first line. And it can also be on your third line. AJ Greer even. Like these guys, how often do you see?

Starting point is 00:41:44 Remember Maurice let those guys that fourth line play the last minute of, I think the Leaf series that year? Because he's like, you guys won this game. Yeah, I think that's right. Yeah, because they shit pumped Trump. Yeah, fourth lines are so important. Samissevich, Boquist. Like, these guys are... And bro, like, I'm sorry, but they, the fourth line this year of Vilmanus and adding Eller and fucking Garnie. Exactly. So they filled... Like, do you... Exactly, does. Like, has there

Starting point is 00:42:09 ever been a more perfect fucking human being to play on this Florida Panthers team's fourth line than Garnett Hath? No. I can't believe it took him this long to get here. Genuinely. Yeah, legit, dude. So the marksham thing is a thing and most, most likely. If I was betting man on BetMGM, most likely, and because I love a Sokatano, Akiris Mead, they are going to tandem. They will, they will comfortably be a top three seat in the Atlantic and then go hard because, as Paul Morris said a million times, this team is built to beat you in a seven game series, not beat you in a random regular season game. So most likely they will not be the one seed. The reason I took them one is similar to the Leafs is A,

Starting point is 00:42:49 I don't want to miss out on this fucking ride. And B, this dude. I see. I, saw a quote, and I should have just bookmarked it, but I saw a quote from Brady Kichuk like a week ago that was like, chasing a cup with my brother has already been the coolest experience of my life. And I think a cup? Yeah, he's like, we're chasing a cup now. Like we're now. Oh, oh, got it. And I was like, dude, they're going to do it for him. Like I actually think that at energy is just going to be so exciting that instead of their normal like, well, let's just chill, They're going to be like, dude, let's give them the full, let's give them the fucking full ride, dude, wire to wire. And again, they're probably not going to be the one seed, but just the brother power has fired me up so much that I went for it.

Starting point is 00:43:33 So what I love about this group is they are so, all right, question marks. Markstrom. Question Markstrom. Is Barkov okay? Yes. Well, he came back and fucking was unbelievable in one worlds. That makes me feel like this. is totally fine.

Starting point is 00:43:53 Yep. But also, it's a lot, it's a lot. This, he is, it's the NHL dude. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:57 You're, you're coming back into the NHL after a torn ACL. Like, that's a big thing. For sure. So let's see how Barkoff does. Marshy coming back from his injury.

Starting point is 00:44:06 And then there is, honestly, there is the always, like, I look at Eckblad. Yeah. Like, that fucking guy is so young still.

Starting point is 00:44:14 I know. It's like, he's 30. He's 30. But like, God, he's played a lot of hockey. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:18 And he's had injury stuff. If these guys stay healthy after a great, great break of the break's going to be so clushed. I think it's going to be so huge for them. But my favorite part about this team is, dude, they hear everything. Oh, I forgot to say this. Thank you. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:36 And they care about everything. When they won their second cup in a row, and we did our episode in Elbow Room with the boys, and they're all just so fucking awesome, they're having a blast. We're fucking drinking beers with Benny's mom. Yeah. But when we see Matthew and he goes, which fucking one of you didn't pick us to finish first in the division?

Starting point is 00:44:58 He was talking about the division. Yeah, yeah. Not even like, he was like, which one of you didn't pick us first in the division? Yeah. That is, they've just won back-to-back cups. The height of happiness. He hasn't slept in 20, 40 hours. Matthew is still going like this.

Starting point is 00:45:12 I'm not ready to hug you yet, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah. That's why he's the fucking man. Yep. And like, Bennett hears all that shit. Brady hears all that shit. They are just filled with motherfuckers. They know how many people bitch and moan about them with this, that, and the other.

Starting point is 00:45:32 Calling them the rats, blah, blah, blah, blah. They hear everything and you bet your ass that they looked at last year. And they were like anyone who's thinking that we're dead and we're not going to come back with a vengeance. Like look at Marci, dude. The Instagram posts he was doing of being like, thank you, Bruins. thank you. These guys are celebrating a cup and they're still being petty. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:53 That is why they are fucking dogs. And dude, remember I was like, oh, Chip on your shoulder, Bob. And you're like, I don't know. This is Chip on your shoulder, Panthers for the first time in years. And dude, how many people, and I love you, Keynes, but how many people were like, have written off. They're like, oh, we've vanquished Florida. Like, no, no, we're all better than Florida now.

Starting point is 00:46:12 And I'm like, oh, dude, you didn't do dick. Like, here come the Panthers to show you that they were taking the year off. Man, like I assure you that there are people on that team scouring Twitter, seeing Keynes fans being like this. Panthers are dead. We have surpassed them. Saving everything. Oh, dude.

Starting point is 00:46:29 Get fucking ready. So there are question marks, but I just think this team is too good and their mentality is too good. And Pomo is the fucking man. They're just, Zito is the fucking man. I love everything about the Florida Panthers. Get me back to a lot of you, dude. And their team, I think they're going to come out.

Starting point is 00:46:47 genuinely like crazed dogs. I want to sweat this summer. If we're all sweating, no one's sweating. Get me back. God, you would love Lottie. Get me back to the girls, dude. Get me back to our girls. Next up, the Detroit Red Wings.

Starting point is 00:47:03 I'm ready. Last year, the Wings went 41, 31, and 10 for 92 points, finished 6th, and missed the playoffs again. Your number is first. This year, they will finish. Three, two, one, eight. Eighth. Damn.

Starting point is 00:47:18 Easiest pick. Easiest pick of the division preview, of a very hard division preview, my easiest pick. Fuck. Dude, I just, they are still pretty good on paper. Like, they brought Gibson in last year, who I loved, and after a slow start was good. They have Moe and Razor. I also look Tarasov as their backup. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:39 They have Moe and Razor. They brought in Arvinson, who was a godsend for the Bruins last year. Oh, unbelievable. Also, may I say, put a fucking. C on MoSider sweater yesterday. Yeah. Dude, I would do it in the media. I actually agree.

Starting point is 00:47:53 Like I, I'm sure they're a little bit worried about like giving the C to someone not Dylan, while Dylan's still there. Yeah, yeah. No, fuck that. You got to start, put it on Mo's sweater yesterday. Yep. So, Arvinson, Colissar, who we love, like these are good ads and they have a good core still.

Starting point is 00:48:11 And you didn't lose too much. Like, you lost Caner, who like is the man, but just, you know, like, that doesn't ruin your season. I know. It's a good culture guy. Yes, for sure. JV.R. But I, this is too much. Sometimes it takes a one thing, the Joker, like all you need is a little push.

Starting point is 00:48:29 It takes one thing to derail a season sometimes, and this has been, we talk about a ducks having a bad summer, this has been a fucking shit show. So, dude, you're done. I don't have time for this. I'm not gonna dance on graves here because wings fans know, like, I adore. We love the wings.

Starting point is 00:48:45 And, but me, I'm not being like, me, but, I specifically adore the Red Wings. Like I was fucking 18 years old at my high school graduation being gifted a Detroit Red Wings Stanley Cup hat and T-shirt from one of our professors at school because she knows I love the Red Wings. Like I love the Detroit Red Wings. And I think this is devastating. I think it's insane what this franchise is currently going through and I need them to fucking. and figure it out so, so badly. Yep.

Starting point is 00:49:20 I am of the opinion that it is, the way you figure this out, which is why I'm mad about the interim GM, they needed to hire a GM. And if they had hired Airbud, or if they had hired me, literally what you do is you immediately trade Dylan Larkin, you trade Alex to Brinkat, and you build this team around Lucas Raymond and Mo Cider and completely start over. And I would trade them for picks and prospects, and that is it. I would borderline trade Justin Falk. Like a guy you picked up last year to try to make playoffs,

Starting point is 00:49:50 who's an unbelievable player. I love Justin Falk. But like I need them to just completely restart and try again. It sucks. But that's just what you got to do, dude. Like you've got to do what Chicago did. And you've got to do what Anaheim did and just really try to completely start over. But I think a part of that is going to be finishing eight this year

Starting point is 00:50:11 and hopefully getting a high lottery pick. Like you need, I need the Detroit Red Wings with the number one pick next year. Oh, yeah. This is, dude, like we said, trade larkin for future stuff and just tank. Like, get out of here. I cannot believe. Dude, you have been taking the best swings you can take the last few years and keep missing playoffs. So I'm like, this, what are we doing, dude?

Starting point is 00:50:36 Go, go away. It's, it blows. And my favorite thing about Wings fans, in my opinion, is, Wings fans, when they're bad and they struggle, like they never freak out, they're never screaming at us. They are, they are, I'm trying to think of a good football comp. They're the type of fans who get mad at themselves. Yeah. Not the media.

Starting point is 00:51:00 Yeah, yeah. Like they go, we fucking suck. And I fucking hate everyone in management and I hate the coach and blah. I'm like, bro, I can relate to that. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, I think it's an absolute devastation. they are where they are, but you have Mo signed at 8.55 till 2031. You have Razor signed at 8.075 till 2032. That's your core. Yep. You, like, you just got to, you got to blow this up.

Starting point is 00:51:30 You got to trade Dylan. You got to trade cat. And again, like, I would, you've got Falk one year left, like come deadline. You don't think Falk's moving again. Like, that is a no-brainer. it blows but we are where we are we're in a full rebuild not retool this is a full rebuild yep yeah get call up acme get the tn t and blow it up get the coyote here fucking sucks oh it's awful it is what it is once a proud franchise yeah the next team is the ottawa senators this gets really dicey for me now and i i would like to apologize to pretty much every team that comes next in this division preface for what's about to come out of my mouth Are you ready?

Starting point is 00:52:12 Are you out of control? Yes. And dude, I'm telling you it's the Costanza. I'm going full Costanza, and it's going to work. I really like this. Yep. Okay. Last year, the senators went 44, 27, and 11 for 99 points, finished fifth and made the playoffs.

Starting point is 00:52:29 Sneaky good season. Very impressive. My number's first. This year. Are you ready? I know, Dan. I know. It's so tough.

Starting point is 00:52:44 Do you mean to move to ham? there once was a man from Nantucket. Yeah, who, who, how did it go? Don't, you don't, do not participate in this. You continue thinking. No, I got it. Okay, you ready? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:55 My number's first. You're going to be ridiculous here. This year, they will finish. Three, two, one, seven, sixth. Oh. Wow. I cannot believe you. I thought you were going to be way higher.

Starting point is 00:53:07 Yep. And I, there's a team, my team in six, I'm not going to reveal yet. Like we said at the top, the literally the top four to six. They could all finish first or six. I just, I said at the top, seven teams, I passionately believe seven can make playoffs.

Starting point is 00:53:24 This is my seventh team. The Senators making the playoffs would not surprise me in the slightest. No, no. In the slightest. Even when I say this, I'm also looking at you right now, Sends fans, you're a playoff team.

Starting point is 00:53:35 Yes. You are absolutely worthy of it being a playoff team. There's no doubt about it for me. Five teams in the Atlantic are making the playoffs again. I've leaned that way too, but I do think the MET is sneaky. Yeah, exactly. Not no doubt about it. I think five teams will make it.

Starting point is 00:53:51 And six teams are playoff teams. You are a playoff team. Ottawa senators, you are trying to make playoffs and you're trying to win around. And dude, you are saying your seven team is the Leafs, who certainly could be. I know that's your bigger question mark, but I'm like, the Leafs making playoffs would not be insane. Yeah. The Wings making playoffs would be insane. The senators, Dan.

Starting point is 00:54:11 the only reason I went seventh other than someone has to be seventh and my sixth team I could have swapped here is they have been very inconsistent over the last few years very inconsistent they go on really hot stretches but then they're just like what the fuck is going on and I know weirdly that there are a lot of sense fans out there who think Brady is I was about to say addition by subtraction that makes it meaner than I want. Yep. But just more like, it's like Bill Simmons

Starting point is 00:54:44 Ewing theory. Like you lose Brady and it's just like the rest of the pieces come together better. Because I know they always point to Brady's production and like he's not this top,

Starting point is 00:54:53 top guy that you all think he is, blah, blah, blah. I just think Brady does so, stirs so much of that drink in Ottawa. And dude, we just said like the bath man, Pinto, Stutzelow, like Sanderson, there are incredible players on this team.

Starting point is 00:55:05 Yeah, can I go through that real quick? Sure. Or was there a big point? No, just my big point is I went seven because I think losing Brady is going to hurt them in ways they aren't anticipating. Everyone's just pointing at production. Like, oh, you know, we only lost this much. And I'm like, well, he does a lot.

Starting point is 00:55:23 And from a leadership role, from emotional standpoint, whatever, whatever. My take is we obviously love Brady. It's a friend. Yeah. I think sometimes when you have a common enemy, it works better. Yeah. I like this. Dude, that was your captain,

Starting point is 00:55:43 one of if not your best players. And that obviously sucks to lose. But it was a great trade for them. And I think from the, certainly not the players, but from the fan base, he became a common enemy. That wasn't a, like when you lose him, like frankly, when you lose Mitch,

Starting point is 00:56:06 obviously there were some asshole these fans who were on Mitch, but like they loved Mitch dude. He was an unbelievable player for them. Toronto boy. And losing him sucked. Yep. Losing Brady sucks.

Starting point is 00:56:17 But the fan base with the USA bullshit, like they turned him into an enemy. Yeah, good point. And they're like, fuck off, get out of here. And I think that there's a world now where they get so fired up about their other players that they're like, this is the team. Yeah. It could work. We talk a lot about young, unbelievable cores in the NHL. We talk about, we were talking.

Starting point is 00:56:39 about the ducks, but that, I mean, they're still young and exciting. We talk about Montreal all the time. San Jose, obviously. Not enough people talk about this team. And it's been the case for years. You go through their forward group. Stutzla is 24. Yep. Pinto, shout out. The man. The boy. 25. Cousins, 25. Ecky, 23. Yeah, that's a big pickup, I should add. Bathman 28, Zetterland, 27, Fog Daddy, 30, Ridley Greg, 24, Sandy, 24, one of the best defendantsmen in the league. Chabby 29, Spenny, 25, Zub, 30. They are very young. Yeah, they are very young and very good.

Starting point is 00:57:23 And I, they are definitely in a similar camp of Toronto. in that there are a lot of guys that you're like, you got to take the jump. Like where and when is your jump? I think that they will do it. But again, it's like a, it's a tough competition situation. Like Pinto last year, 72 games, 23 goals, 23 assists.

Starting point is 00:57:53 Perfect hockey player. 46 points. Pinto, that needs to be 70. Yeah. I think that that, I think he is that type of guy. Like he, to me, has that in him to be that. guy. So I'm like, that's huge. William Eklund, dude, sneaky last year, 78 games, 15 goals, 38 assists, 53 points. What if that goes to 70? So there's just like a lot of dudes that I'm like, they, we obviously know Stutzler is nasty, always puts up points. We just talked about Batherson.

Starting point is 00:58:22 He is like a 70 guy lock, no matter what, 30 goals. Could that go to 80? I'm like, this is interesting. Zetterlin last year, 17, goal, 16, he says 33 points. That's not what he needs to be 50 points. Frankly at least for yeah but it's like you've got sandy spenny is nasty and is going to have a way bigger role on this team this year he signed his great deal at five million a year. Omark is a big what version of O'MRour is getting is everything okay with Omark is all that bullshit going to be gone now I I think they are going to fall victim of the competition but again you're a playoff team without question.

Starting point is 00:59:06 A worthy playoff team. They go into this season going, we are making playoffs and we want to win at least a round. That is their mentality as it should be. Let's see what jumps are made. That is it. That's going to be the big question. And again, like I said,

Starting point is 00:59:20 there's always just a few things that can go wrong. And this Brady move can either, I mean, this is not stupid, but I was going to say, can either go right or go wrong. But what I mean by that is it will either galvanize them around it and they will perform even better than expected or it will be just too much of a seismic shift this year, this year,

Starting point is 00:59:38 and then hurt them. I'm going hurt them. I just think like cousins, dude, last year, 28 goals, 59 points. Like, he can also get a good roster, dude. They have a good roster, yeah. I think, you know, from what I know, the boys love Brady. But I think there's an element, you can love a guy, but there's an element of like this, at least the distraction's gone.

Starting point is 01:00:00 Yeah, totally, totally right. So I think that they, I, my vote. is the senators will not be phased by that. I think they're going to galvanize around each other, and I think they're going to be exciting, but still miss. Yeah. Per both of us. Okay, let's take an ad break, and we'll get to the last four teams. Lucy is the official pouch partner of empty netters and almost Friday, giving you premium 100% tobacco-free nicotine pouches made for true pouch connoisseurs. I got a Lucy in right now. Yeah, you better believe it. It's actually a breaker. So I get that extra flavor. It's unbelievable. Lucy is going to be.

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Starting point is 01:01:59 20% off on your first order and get stocked up. Lucy's the best in the game. Do not miss out. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. All right, Dr. Squatch is partnered up with I Show Speed, and there's some serious stuff going on right now. Dan, there's a million dollars on the table this week in this week's challenge. And the ask is just barking at a photograph. Are you above barking or you below barking? No, I love a bar. Let me hear your bark. You want a bark into a growl or a bark into a howl? growl. Okay. I think that's what speed does a lot. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 01:02:34 And it's kind of the... The growl is good, dude. It's good. I almost like a growl first. Like, oh. You know, and you're like, oh. You know, but he's like, is he going to go?

Starting point is 01:02:49 Is he going to go? But listen, I show speed is everywhere right now. And this guy has a natural soap deal and people are barking at his picture for money. And this is now normal. This is now a normal thing. and I want to know who's the next person who's going to bark at for cash. Because like I said, Dr. Squatch and I Show Speed

Starting point is 01:03:04 launched the Speed Run million dollar mission. Nine weeks of challenges, 25 chances to win a million dollars in prizes. A new challenge drops every week and anyone can enter. You could do this. You could win. This week, the challenge is speed bark. There are Dr. Squatch displays in Walmart with a picture of speed on them. Go find one.

Starting point is 01:03:27 Film yourself barking at it. the best bark wins. That's it. You can win a million dollars. There are nine briefcases hidden around the world and a new clue is out this week. The clues get more obvious as the campaign goes on and you can give your own theories as to what you think is happening. Being wrong on the record is part of the fun. Okay? So get to Walmart. Find the Dr. Squatch display, bark at speed, then check speed run MDM.com for the rules and this week's briefcase clue. Next up, we have the Boston Bruins. Last year, the Bs went 45, 27, and 10 for 100 points,

Starting point is 01:04:07 finished fourth, and made the playoffs. This year, they will finish. I think your numbers first. Yeah. Ready? I think so. Okay. But it doesn't matter.

Starting point is 01:04:20 Ready? Three, two, one, six. And actually, I'm a question. proud of you for going fifth because they gives them a shot and oh they're a playoff team i well i all seven of my teams are playoff teams and they the bees really i can't remember what we put them last year but the bees really impressed me last year loved everything marco storm's doing and you got a great season from sway after all the bullshit from the year before that and you brought in some you brought in perturka who's the big one which i like i like that signing a lot i love i love i love that signing a lot

Starting point is 01:04:57 lot. You lose an Arvinson who's not like on paper incredible but was incredible for you. And I also think there's something to be said. The reason I'm mad at my pick is the comments from pasta last year of being like this isn't good enough. I'm getting older. Does inspire belief in me that the Bruins will really make an effort to be better. So now I'm like now and here I am picking them to regress and it's like, okay, how does that make pasta feel? and what does that mean? What's the ripple effect of that? So I don't love this pick. And obviously, no matter what the randomizer says, go bees, baby. So I'm hoping this is wrong, you know. But, and I'm going to save a point for later. I almost free fell someone out of playoffs to get the bees back in.

Starting point is 01:05:45 But the bees to me at most feel like last year, I guess. I was about to say what you have them at. but at most the bees feel like a wildcard team to me. And that leaves such little room for error. Right. If you are, if your ceiling is the four or five seed, one thing goes wrong and you know, if geeky doesn't have 40 goals or if someone gets hurt, God forbid, you know, you fall into sixth.

Starting point is 01:06:10 That's my fear. And also maybe I'm reverse jinxing them. The Bruins are very exciting to me. in that they're ahead of schedule as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They also are younger than people realize, which I think is also very exciting. Pasta is obviously 30 now,

Starting point is 01:06:40 but JJ's 24. Middle stat will see what happens with him. This season is 27. Geeky's 28. Zaka is 29. I feel people think Zaka's like 34. Zaka is 29. I think Steve's is a really fun player on that bottom.

Starting point is 01:06:56 Probably fourth line. But you've also got Hagen's at 19, who's Nadine off at 24, and Minton at 22. They are a young team. And that kind of came like out of no way. I know. It was like, oh, interesting. Sweet.

Starting point is 01:07:10 Very, very cool. The big, big question, I think Sway is a Vezna goaltender. That is a no-brainer. I should have said Sway is 20-5. Yeah. He's got dad strength now, too. Yeah, good point, dude.

Starting point is 01:07:23 Really good point. Boston needs to make trades, in my opinion. I think the Peturca edition was their big move of the summer, and I don't mean to put that in quotes, disparaging Petirka. Yeah. I think Petirca is a very immensely talented player, and I really like him playing under Stern.

Starting point is 01:07:49 He last year was disappointing. 25 goals, 22. assist, 47 points, and 82 games. After the year before, he had 68 points. Like, he was trending in a great, well, he had 32 points, 50 points, 68 points. And he played for an unbelievable Utah team last year. Yeah. So I get a little curious. I'm like, what happened? Like, why did you not take a big jump when you played for this awesome Utah group? So let's see what happens. And whenever you get an opportunity to play with the David Posternak, I'm like, oh, baby. Yeah. Like, let's see what goes on here. I think the Bruins are questionable on defense. Charlie McAvoy career year last year,

Starting point is 01:08:32 gold medal last year, absolute fucking warrior last year. As we said with the defensive rankings earlier this year, I think he's one of the best players in the national hockey. Yep, I really do. I think he's one of the best two-way defensemen to live right now. I think HAMP is unbelievable, and I'm excited to see what HAMP can do and be fully fit this year. But after that, there's, I think it's interesting. Like, Mason Lurai, are you going to take the jump or what? Last year it was like, and again, I love Mace, but I think he had seven goals last year, like 27 points or something like that.

Starting point is 01:09:09 And if you're playing first line with McAvoy, you've got to be way better. He's really big. I think he skates incredibly well. He up that plus minus really well last year. but, you know, if you're a first pairing guy with Mac, like, you kind of got to be a guy. They brought in Will Borgian. And Borgian's making, I think, $4.1 million. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:34 And like that's a, that's low, obviously today in this league. But like Borgian's probably going to be a second pairing guy. And then you have Zadorov, who's become a big time leader in this locker room. But you always wonder, like, what does Zadorov do for you? Like, is he Chara? Right, no, yeah, yeah. He's certainly not Chara, because Chara is a first-paring guy. Zadora's probably going to be a third-paring guy.

Starting point is 01:10:00 And he doesn't make a ton of money. Zadorov is at $5 million. But, like, he signed until 2030. Like, he is a person that you made an investment in. He wears a letter on his sweater. Zodorov needs to be, like, a significant shutdown guy. for you if this is going to work. And then you have Yoki Haru, you have Cliffy.

Starting point is 01:10:24 I think they're one, truly one, very good top four defensemen away from me being like this. Not worried about this defense at all. Okay. Yeah. But I do think that, I don't think it's a, oh, it's close. I think it's like, no, dude, you are, you need, you need someone. Which I think is, you're kind of saying what I'm saying, which is they don't have a ton of room for error as currently constructed. Right. Like,

Starting point is 01:10:44 some of the teams we've been picking, you even said at the top, the top four teams you picked could all be the one seed. They're all tied for the one seed. The Bruins, I think for you as well, because you have them fifth, are decidedly not in that group as currently constructed. The Bruins are not about to win this division.

Starting point is 01:11:01 They're not about to win the division, no. But they are very good. Oh, agree. Agreed, totally. Last year was kind of a fun case study. They got beat up by Buffalo in the playoffs. Let's be honest. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:11:17 They got beat up by Buffalo. So they are a team there I'm like this you guys are definitely a playoff team Like I know you have them six But I'm like they're definitely making playoffs I think they did get better But I am a little bit like But you're not really making a run

Starting point is 01:11:32 Now we just saw fucking Hagan's Light the world on fire in the rookie skate To get four They literally they went four three in OT And he scored all four goals He said he worked on his shot this summer And then boom he's scoring fucking left and right And his shot looks disgusting

Starting point is 01:11:45 So the investment in minting is amazing. Who's Nadinov had it played I think 75 games last year he's a Chris Kelly to me

Starting point is 01:11:55 I'm like he could be like a 50 point guy on your third line you're like it's amazing shit that's amazing everyone in Minnesota

Starting point is 01:12:02 loved him everyone in Boston now loves him Minton and Hagen's if they take that jump all of a sudden your depth is way better I want to talk about

Starting point is 01:12:12 Morgan Geeky for a second okay Morgan Geeky is on this team at five point $4.5 million until $2031. That is an argument for the best contract in the NHL.

Starting point is 01:12:26 I think a lot of people looked at Morgan Geeky and they were like this, yeah, Morgan Geeky's pretty good. He'll do whatever for you. Morgan Geeky, since getting in the league, he was on Carolina for a little spell, but then he goes to Seattle. 73 games, seven goals, 22 points. The next year in Seattle.

Starting point is 01:12:43 69 games, nine goals, 28 points. And at that point, he was 24 years old, I think people, not wrote him off, but they're like, this is who you are. Yeah. Then he comes to Boston. And in his first year, he has 17 goals and 39 points. And people were like this. Ooh.

Starting point is 01:12:57 Oh, geeks. Yeah. 40 point guy. The next season, 77 games, 33 goals, 57 points. And then last year, 81 games, 39 goals, 68 points. Dude, and he went cold. He did go cold towards the end. And I mean that in a positive way.

Starting point is 01:13:12 Like, he should have had 40. Yeah. Morgan Geeky has gotten decidedly better. every single year of his career and he has 27 years old. What do we talk about last episode? That is prime. Your prime in the NHL,

Starting point is 01:13:25 if you are not a freak, like Mac. Mac. Yeah. Your prime is 26, 27, to like 34. Morgan Geeky is entering that. And again, he has gotten decidedly better every year of his career.

Starting point is 01:13:42 I do not know why anyone is not looking at Morgan Geeky as one of the top forwards in the Atlantic and being like, why doesn't he get 80 points this year? Yeah. So I think some people sleep on certain players on the Bruins. Do you need J.J. Petrka to get back to that like 68 point? You want J.J. Peturca, if you're the Boston Bruins to have 80 points this year.

Starting point is 01:14:02 Yes. Oh, my God, yes. You want David Bosternak to have 100 points again, which he fucking will. But I'm saying you look at Morgan Geeky and you talk about him in that same way. Pavel Zaka is a big one for me, and I'm going to take a break and let you talk because I've just been talk. Well, no, I honestly don't have much say. I love, I think Pavel Zaka's awesome. I have everything I think that the Bruins struggle with is when they get, we saw it against Buffalo over and over. You get pinned in your own zone, a couple bad turnovers. It banged, ends them in the back of your net and you're like, oh shit. I don't think that this Bruins team

Starting point is 01:14:33 is much different than they were last year on that front. Yeah. I think they're going to be really competitive, as in for the playoffs. I think they're going to make it. I think Zaka's dope. I think Zaka is a luxury second liner. I'll say luxury, or maybe a very good second liner. Well, he's kind of similar to geeky in that. Like, since joining Boston, he had 82 games, 21 goals, 57 points, or 21 goals, 57 points, 78 games, 21 goals, 59 points.

Starting point is 01:15:05 Then he had that down year, 82 games, 14 goals, 47 points. And then last year, 78 games, 30 goals, 65 points. Yeah. As we talked about when we were kind of discussing, and some of the B's moves here. Zaka is, I believe, in the last year of his deal at 4.7. He had 65 points last year and 30 talks. And he's a guy who joined this Boston team and found a home. He found a great partner in David Posternack, Countryman.

Starting point is 01:15:32 And he's another one of these guys that I'm like, if I'm Boston, he's 29. I'm kind of like, keep him, dude. Yeah, yeah, agree. It fits here. And if you can sell high on him, sure, maybe. but it's like what's stopping Zaka from having another 30 goal a year and like 70, 75 points this year? You're fucking laughing. Like that's an unbelievable top six player. So I weirdly really love Boston's forwards. They are lacking a, it feels like such a ridiculous luxury to have

Starting point is 01:16:08 two stars. But you have pasta, who is in my opinion, the best winger. in the NHL. I genuinely mean that. Casey Middle Sat last year, 71 games, 15 goals, 42 points. That's pretty good. But like middle stat, I think his career high was 59 points with Buffalo. But like middle stat goes 15 goals, 18 goals, 14 goals, 15 goals. Like middle stat in his best year, and again, he's only 27.

Starting point is 01:16:41 Yeah. Is going to get you 20 goals. Peak. you know, you have goal scores in geeky and pasta and hopefully Peturka now. So it's like not even goals, but it's like how many times do I need to keep circling back to like imagine adding a Dylan Mark. Well, that's what I was about to say, Dan. It's really hard to win in this league without an elite center. And the Bruins don't have an elite center. They have Zaka, who we think is great. And we have Lindholm, who we think is very good. And Minton, I hope is the man. You know, blah, blah. But the Bruins don't. have a center. Like the Bruins don't have a guy where you're like, yeah, that's a really good

Starting point is 01:17:18 player in their team. And when they picked up Elias Lindholm, who last year had 69 games, 17 goals, 48 points, they wanted the Calgary year, 82 games, 42 goals, 40 assists. Yeah. He in that year was playing with Johnny hockey. He was playing with Matthew Kachuk. Like, it was a great team around him. But that's who they wanted. And since then, he has never sniffed that. Yeah. Like he, he had 29 goals, 27 goals, a couple years before that in Calgary, but the year after that in Calgary, 22 goals.

Starting point is 01:17:50 And then since he's, he's had, you know, 15 goals, 17 goals. Yeah, they don't have, they don't have a lot of. Elias Lindholm is not scoring a lot of goals. You can't win without a lot of years. And he's not an elite center. And you wonder, like, does Elias Lindholm figure it out this year? And does he pop off? Or is he a guy who has a full no move clause at $7.75 million on this team that.

Starting point is 01:18:13 you, what do you do with him? Yeah. I think the Boston Bruins are an, I don't even want to say elite because like does elite mean like top 20 player in the league? But the Boston Bruins are a star forward and a very solid top four defenseman away from being a very serious contender.

Starting point is 01:18:33 But they don't have those. And that is a lot to get. Like that's not like, oh, just go grab, we'll buff over to fucking Walmart. It's a lot. It's a lot to grab the elite center at a top four D. It's a lot to get. but I will say again

Starting point is 01:18:44 and I only say this because he is available but if you are Don Sweeney and you are not throwing the kitchen fucking sink at the Detroit Red Wings to get Dillon. Go get Larks and the kitchen

Starting point is 01:18:56 and who are on the block and be like sweet. You're like for the first time and a long time the Bruins have prospects and picks. Now you're not moving Higgins. Yeah. But you do have Dean Laterno.

Starting point is 01:19:09 You do have Zellers. Like yeah man. You like, go get it. And trade all your picks. Every other team trades all their picks and wins cups. Trade all your picks. Trade everything you ever had. I have the Bruins Fifth.

Starting point is 01:19:20 They will make playoffs for me. They're a great team with a lot of exciting stuff. And this retool has been very impressive. But you are missing a star forward and a very solid top four defensemen for being a competing team. Next up is the Montreal Canadiens. Last year, the Habs went 48, 24, and 10, finished third, made the playoffs, and went to the Eastern Conference Finals.

Starting point is 01:19:45 I'm going first. This year, they will finish. Three, two, one. Second first. And you're probably, well, we might not, neither of us be right, but what I said about Florida, where most likely they will just kind of cruise and don't need to expend as much,

Starting point is 01:20:01 if I was under that, if I was operating on that frequency, then the HABs would be my one. They are a funny one because they are ripe for that weird bump season where you're like, oh shit we we got too drunk on our own supply and we high on our own supply and we regressed a little bit they are ripe for that you know if there's one team that i could pick like oops well i guess not based on what's coming from out of my mouth but i fear that but i just think marty's too dialed he won't let it happen to him too many good things have happened for them this summer yeah uh uh dobesh demidoff

Starting point is 01:20:35 crider like you know i'm pumped without much that's going to hurt you going out the door that i'm like dude, this team, this team is good. This team is fucking good, dude. I am so obsessed with this team. Yeah, this team is good, bro. It is unbelievable how obsessed I am with this team. I think they had the best summer. A sturdy one, but yeah, like they didn't,

Starting point is 01:21:00 I think some teams maybe would argue they had, I gotta think. I'll tell you exactly why I think they had this summer. Ivan Demadoff. Yeah. Look at the contract that Ivan Demadoff signed. Like, we talk about this team all the time. time with they have done an unbelievable job of managing their books and you know getting guys on good contracts like their their their highest paid dude their highest paid forward this year is

Starting point is 01:21:25 zook at 7.8.8.7.5. Cole 7.85. Schlaff 7.875. Slap is at 7.6 until 2033. Yeah. And then next year Demadov's contract kicks in and he'll be the highest paid player. And in this era of 9.1. Yeah. 9.15. And he's 20 till 2035 or something. I think it is 2035. Yeah, yeah. That's unbelievable. You've got Dobson at 9.5.

Starting point is 01:21:50 Lane is at 8.85. Also unbelievable. Matheson at 6. Like, dude, this team is so fucking good. And Doebesh and Fowler are like, I mean, dude, they signed Dobsh to 5.3. It's incredible. It's incredible. Like, I can't believe what a job.

Starting point is 01:22:11 They could be on a run. Dan. What a job Hughes has done constructing this fucking monster. They could be on a run. Yep. The way they handle Tampa, like, this team is so fucking good, and they're so fun, they're so young, and there is no, there's not a single future contract on this team. Like, Cole scored 50. Yeah, yeah. Zuck is one of the best centers in the league. Slavh. Like, there were people who were worried about Slav. Slavs is dope. Demadov is dope. Evans, New Hook, they added, cried like they have crider like they have Kreider Anderson and

Starting point is 01:22:44 Deno possibly as the third line. Bulldoch signed an unbelievable contract. Their defense is fucking nasty. Like I I can't even fathom this team sometimes. And it's fucking unbelievable. It is hard to beat

Starting point is 01:22:59 I guess like here's my thought on this is big picture thought on the habs because I actually think they're in one of the best positions to go on a mini dynastic run. Yep. Which is very hard in this league. this team was surprising, not to Habs fans, as they let us know during the playoffs last year, but this team made a surprising run, but was outclassed as I guess harsh, but they got worked

Starting point is 01:23:27 by the canes and the canes looked way faster, right? Like it just, and maybe you're just tired, whatever, but the canes were like, hey, we have another gear than you and it was never that close. Yeah. to me, if I'm just projecting, I feel like the Panthers would ragdoll this team in a seven-game series. Montreal? Yeah, literally just from a like, we will bully you. Now, that's not really much of an insult because the Panthers had, when healthy, bullied the whole league for two years in a row.

Starting point is 01:24:00 So I'm not saying like, oh, what a joke, mantra. So I'm just saying, I don't know that this team has an answer for a healthy Panthers team. Maybe no one does. Maybe that's not fair. But that's my only fear of like crowning the habs immediately. Because I'm like, you're pretty young and you're shifty and you're cool. And then Sam Bennett punches you in the skull and you're like, oh, we lose. And I'm like, yeah, no shit.

Starting point is 01:24:22 I am, I think I agree with that. But again, the year one, or regular season is why I'm like, Yeah, yeah, good point. They're winning the regular season because they're- I love that pick. It's a different game. playoffs as we know. I think this team in regular season hockey night in and night out is just a fucking nightmare to play. It will be wicked fun to watch too. If you're in neutral or you're getting

Starting point is 01:24:49 into it, not only are you joining an incredible fan base, but man, the habs will be a blast this year. And we also talk about, like, I wonder if David Reinbacher's finally going to come into his own. True. He only has two NHL games. He has an assist in those games. But like, Ryan Bocker's been hurt. He's been like, you know, are we bringing him up? Are we bringing him down? blah, blah, blah. But like, that kid is 6-3. He was a fifth overall pick. Imagine if Reinbacher steps in and is like, I'm ready.

Starting point is 01:25:17 Yeah, right. And we're like, what? Did you just add David Reinbach on a rookie contract to this D-Corp? It's fucking remarkable, dude. One thing I kind of keep an eye on, when you added Noah Dobson, that's another very offensive-minded defenseman. Yeah. You have Lane, who is fucking elite.

Starting point is 01:25:37 So elite. and you have Dobson and Matheson, who are all very gifted offensive defensemen. I wonder if there's a world where they would ever consider trading Matheson. Yeah. There is a world. It's this one.

Starting point is 01:25:53 I'm sure fans are like, no. He has a full no move, which people forget about it. But Matheson is at $6 million. She's only 32 years old. And you wonder if they're like, we have Dobson and Hudson like what if we got a fucking legendary two way

Starting point is 01:26:11 like what if you got in the kitchen? Yeah right dude wow good call that'd be nuts yeah um yeah no they they are you know you were saying the Bruins are a star center and a elite four top or top four D away from being contenders

Starting point is 01:26:25 the habs are are this far away this are like a trade deadline away from being like oh you're gonna win you know what I don't think they are because they're already ready yeah yeah I think it's I think um our team is on the field.

Starting point is 01:26:39 And I am fine with that if their team is on the field. I think that they're a, what gets them past Florida or Carolina is just jumps from these guys. Like more playoff. Just think about it. Like last year, these guys were like,

Starting point is 01:26:53 holy shit. Like we're making a run here. And that is the most playoffs they've ever played. And this team is so young, dude. Zook 27, Cole 25, Slap 22.

Starting point is 01:27:03 Like even Josh Anderson's only 32. Bulldoch, 23. Kirby Doc 25, New Hook 25, Texas is 27. And then you've obviously got Dobson at 26, Hudson at 22. This team's young. Yeah, dude. And Dobech, Chris, like Doebusch is 25, Fowler is 21.

Starting point is 01:27:20 Like, they're young. Last year was unbelievable playoff experience for them. I didn't beat anyone of them up. I don't think they're tired. I think they are, they're big question is. Their big question is, okay, are you guys ready now? Like, is it just more tread on the tires that you needed? I think there are teams on the field, personally.

Starting point is 01:27:40 No, I'm so down with that, dude. And this is going to be one of my most fun watches this year, is the Habs. I think the Habs are, they are one of the most remarkable examples. I didn't even say Demadov in that run of how down is 20. I think the Habs are one of the great examples of truly perfect roster building. Build. Build it. Management.

Starting point is 01:28:04 Unbelievable talent that mesh. as well together and the way that they are going to instill fear in competition this coming season is going to be thrilling to watch because I believe what they did last year beating the teams that they beat beating the teams that they beat teams like the Tampa Bay Lightning showing that they are ready showing that they are true competitors and how young and talented they are I think that is a team that every night you go up against them and you're like holy holy smokes, this team is no joke. They're good.

Starting point is 01:28:37 Yeah. That brings us perfectly, Dan, to the Tampa Bay Lightning. Last year, the bolts went 50, 26, and 6, finished second, and made the playoffs. Your numbers first. I go first every time. I just went first. No. I'll go first.

Starting point is 01:28:56 No, I'm ready. Okay, you're going first. This year, they will finish. Three, two, one, fourth. and the every year I'm tempted to say this is the year this is the year they fall off and every year they shove that up the hoops of whoever says that and admittedly it it will come it will come but it is hard to go you have kuturov who won the heart right didn't he win MVP last year finally yes yeah you have kuturov who won MVP who in the second half of every

Starting point is 01:29:32 season, we'll have a run of scoring five points a night for 20 games in a row, because he just all of a sudden cares. You have Vasi, who's coming off the fucking Vesna, who's like 32, by the way. Everybody's like, Vassi's old, and I'm like, whatever. And yeah, Vassie in the playoffs, hasn't been quite Vassie in the playoffs in the past, but we're talking regular season here. And you hopefully have a more healthy Braden point. You have Kutcherov. You have studs, Gensel, you just have guys that are incredible. You bring in a John Carlson, and I have said, I guess I don't really have an update on Hedman, but I went on that rant in our defensive rankings where I'm like,

Starting point is 01:30:07 I can't wait for Hedman to finish top five in Norris voting. And all you were like, oh yeah, fuck me. I forgot he just wasn't playing. So, yeah, I'm just, I'm not going to be the guy. I obviously knocked him to fourth, so did you. But I'm not going to be the guy that's like, Tampa seventh. You know, the end has come. It's like there's too many good players in this team.

Starting point is 01:30:27 Yeah, I mean, at the end of the day. Fourth might be stupid. Yeah, like when your top six is Gensel Point Cooch, Hegel, Sorrelli, Gonzalez, it's like, what are we doing? What are we doing? Like, I can't believe I just said fourth. I, a big question mark for me was going to be, like, radish obviously took that insane jump. Yep. And then they just added John Carlson.

Starting point is 01:30:52 And you're like, oh. So we're fine. He's literally going to be better. Yeah. I'm just so fed up with them. Yeah. Well, and they're fed up with themselves,

Starting point is 01:31:04 I know. Yeah, 100%. I'm so fed up with this team in the sense that I'm like, are you guys nasty? Because there are nights where I'm like, good Christ, they're nasty. And then there are nights where,

Starting point is 01:31:20 obviously they've got some injury stuff here, but it's just it's the playoff stuff. And I know we're picking preseason predictions here, or regular season predictions here. So, I mean, would any of us be surprised that they just finish first? Yeah. No. Or sorry, no is what I meant. Not at all. Not at all. But I'm like, I'm fed up with this Tampa team. The playoff performances of late just, they genuinely piss me off. Yeah. So I'm a little bit like, I don't even want to make the mistake of saying they're resting on their laurels because I look at guys like Hegel and I look at guys like Gensel and

Starting point is 01:31:55 Sorelli and I know how fucking diabolical they are. Like they, they care so much and they play so hard. But I'm, I'm just confused as to like what's happening. Like is, does Coop have the fire still? Does Cooch have the fire still? Does Headman have the fire still? What's up with McDonagh? Is he healthy? And I, I, they're, I suppose maybe they're one of the bigger question marks for me. Oh, okay, I kind of agree. The thing I think I would advise them is they, over the last few years, I would say, and I know they almost won the division last year, but they have kind of been that team going, we're so good, we always reference the Golden State Warriors peak, you know,

Starting point is 01:32:43 where they're like, we don't care. We don't care where we finish. We keep saying that about the Panthers. We don't care where we finish. Let's just get to playoffs. The lightning, it's felt like they've had that attitude the last few years. Like, whatever, we'll just get in and then we'll win in the playoffs. And I'm like, well, but you lose in the playoffs in the first round every year.

Starting point is 01:32:56 To the point that I'm now like, yo, switch back on, win the division. Like get the one seed, catch a wild card and win a fucking round and then get some momentum. You know, and obviously shit can break bad where you win the division and like the Panthers get the wild card. And you're like, fuck me. But you know what I'm saying? I almost want to sit them down and go, dude, enough of the we can rest on our laurels. We're fine. I would actually fucking show up in the regular season and go fucking hard and build that consistency,

Starting point is 01:33:22 see that rhythm of like, yo, it's going to take everything we got every night because their results by the end of the season have been unacceptable. So that is a big one. I also, there's one signing that they made that could change everything. Talk to me? Former duck. Bro. Jeff.

Starting point is 01:33:48 Best player in the fucking league. Oh, Jeff. Our buddy, dude. Five years, 12. $2.5 million deal, $2.5.A.A.V. for the best player in the league. That's cool. It's unbelievable. Jeff Viel is fucking going to bring the cup back. I actually think it's a really exciting signing for them. I'm not kidding. Like you lose a Nick Paul, you know, and you're like, ooh, that's been a great guy for them. And I'm like, but now you got Jeff. Also,

Starting point is 01:34:15 remember how good Dom James was at the end of last year? Yeah. Yeah. It's an exciting player. It's cool. There's question marks. There's not question marks. You just said that. I would say it's more like where are you going to finish in playoffs whereas some teams have some real question marks. So this one is a team I'm comfortable stamping playoffs on but it will be interesting to see what bolts we get the whole way through. Yeah man, do you, there's no way that they fall off.

Starting point is 01:34:45 It's coming eventually, but I don't believe it's yet. Let me ask you a big question. What do you expect from Braden Point this year? I expect a way better season. He must have been half dead last. year and and maybe but but that's the thing that sucks is like I wanted to say like maybe a another first or maybe a first round exit is good and more time for him but it's like they've had first round exit the last four years yeah yeah no I just think he was legitimate he didn't even go

Starting point is 01:35:08 to the Olympics dude like he yeah he's very hurt last year I mean like he is it's really only yeah only last year was the year because like before that it was 82 games 51 goals 95 points 81 games 46 goals 90 points 77 games 42 goals 82 points and then last year 63 games games, 18 goals, 50 points. And you're about to get 30 more goals. Even when he was playing, he did not look like himself. So I'm like, so I'm like, this guy's fucking 30 years old and he is. He's going to be nasty, dude.

Starting point is 01:35:38 He's going to be nasty. Yeah. Like, I think point comes back heavy. And that's a fucking, yeah. Yeah. And Cooch is in the last year of his deal. What do you see there? Do you see an obvious like?

Starting point is 01:35:47 Oh, interesting. Yeah, he's not going anywhere. Here's five years. Like he loves Tampa and he has, he has been the MVP for the last three years. Three years. Count them. So you're obviously keeping a dude who's got no state tax is rich as fuck and is going to be like, yeah, I do whatever. I'll just continue to be disgusting here. They're fine. It's coming someday, but a lot of people I've been watching a lot of shit online that's like, here's my take. Campra's missing playoffs this year. Shut the fuck off. Absolutely not. To me, it's like a, I expect fourth. I picked fourth. I picked fourth. But like, as we've said a million times, they are first to fourth. And, and, and. And, and. wherever it happens, it happens. I do think point is going to shove it up everyone's hoop this year.

Starting point is 01:36:33 Me too. I'm excited about that. I think Hegel might have 100 points this year. That'd be sick. Has he done that yet? No. He's in the 90s, I'm pretty sure. Last year he was fucking unbelievable.

Starting point is 01:36:45 And God, in playoffs, he was unreal. That was so fun. He went 36, 38, perfect hockey player for 74 points. But the year before that, he had 90. 3555. He could do it. Oh, he absolutely could do it. He is one of my favorite players to ever.

Starting point is 01:36:58 watch. It's so awesome. He's just such a guy. Love it. All right, that brings us to the Buffalo Sabres. Last year, the Sabers went 50, 23, and 9, won the division, and made playoffs for the first time in a billion fucking years. This year,

Starting point is 01:37:14 they will finish. You can only have one number left, so do you know what yours is? Yeah. Me first. Yeah. This year, they will finish. Three, two, one, fifth. That's crazy. And Dan, I almost knock them all the way out of the playoffs. Now listen to me, dude.

Starting point is 01:37:30 I don't want this at all. You're going to look like such an asshole. You're going to look at all. You're going to look like such an asshole. This is going to hurt me a lot more than it's going to hurt you, son. Yeah, yeah. When they get Connor Hellebuck, you're going to look like that. So I was going to say, there's a few things that could happen that could literally make me think they're going to win the difference.

Starting point is 01:37:49 Yeah, quick. Check the news right now. Yeah, yeah. Refresh Twitter. Is Hellebuck on the Sabres yet? Because then they're won, and I'm changing everything. And I mean that, by the way. Break? No, I'm kidding. Oh, I was like, holy fuck. That was, actually, that was good.

Starting point is 01:38:01 We got to redo the whole fucking episode. Yeah, I was like, oh my God. The big losses are Tuck and Bowen Byram. And I'm not even saying that those guys are so good. I think they're great, great hockey players. But I'm not even saying those guys are so good that it's Joe Thornton leaving the Bruins, you know? And by the way, you brought in Zell Wedger, who I, I like a lot who's like,

Starting point is 01:38:30 you know, I'm not saying he's like a one for one replacement, but he's like a good player. I really liked watching him in Anaheim, and that was awesome. I just worry about the sabers. We talked about the, I talked about the senators inconsistency. The sabers flirted with playoffs

Starting point is 01:38:45 and then immediately were horrific with the same team. You know, I'm like, what the fuck happened? And last year was just so nonsensical. You know, it was like, oh, you're in dead last and you guys suck. And then they were like, actually, since December 8th, we have the best record in the league more than the aves. And I'm like, well, you are not better than the aft.

Starting point is 01:39:04 No one can possibly think that. So was their dead last a fair representation of them? Probably not. But was whatever happened from December on a fairer representation? No. Sorry for everyone in Buffalo. That was not who this team is. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:39:16 Something happened. You caught fire. It's at sports. It's amazing. It was so fun. And by the way, you showed up in playoffs. You were not a fluke flash in the pan who some of us were afraid of come playoffs. You know, you fucking beat the Bruins who, like, I picked because I was like the Bruins,

Starting point is 01:39:30 a playoff experience and all the vets. You beat the Bruins. And you took the Habs to seven, right? I think you beat him in Montreal in game six and went to seven. So all the credit in the world, but you lost some production. And I just worry about the goalie still. And I'm not shitting on UPL and lying, but I just like that you do not have consistent enough goalie play, in my opinion, to be a, there's good goalies in this division.

Starting point is 01:39:54 And I'm like, yo. And if they're good, you. have a shot, and I hope you make playoffs, because I also lean five are in, but I'm, I'm anticipating a Buffalo slide this year. I'm sorry. I don't, there's no ill will, and I'll fucking, if you win the division, me and Wyatt will go both jump in Lake Erie this summer. And I'm happy to do it. I'm happy to chug a lake out of a fucking saber. Yeah. It's hard to argue with anything that you're saying. This is another team that is insanely young and has great, great cap and roster management.

Starting point is 01:40:29 I love their defense. I really do. I know we had hilarious talks about maybe making a trade there, which I still think is definitely on the table. But I like Zellweger joining this team and having a big opportunity. I think UPL is just a massive. question mark. It's like, is he, you know, only 27 years old and he is going to keep getting better and be a certified, you know, starter for you? Yeah, maybe, probably. But the weirdest thing about him is like how good they were. You obviously lose Tuck, which was not great. How many

Starting point is 01:41:09 points to Tuck have last year? I'll tell you. But they are just like he had 79 games, 33 goals, 33 assists, 66 points. You know, like, that's... That's significant. Obviously, he did nothing in the playoffs, which is not good. I think, like, Yuri Kulich is going to have to be very important for this team this year, and he's young and doesn't have a lot of games. O'Sland, they obviously really believe in and just paid.

Starting point is 01:41:37 And Benson, who was so good in the playoffs, and maybe he's now, like, now he's that guy. Maybe he's the new marshy, but I'm like, maybe not. But, like, he is definitely marshy vibes. But like last year, 65 games, 13 goals, 43 points. That's good. Yeah, yeah. It's really good. Hopefully you get 8, 2 games from him.

Starting point is 01:41:52 But like, Benson, you got to be in the 70s. Exactly. Yep. So if we're going to dog Toronto for a lot of like question marks, you kind of have to dog Buffalo, even with how insane their run was, which it was insane. But like, you just paid Noah Ostland, who you very much believe in. He had 11 goals last year, 27 points. like this in 80 or sorry 60 games so they definitely have a lot of players that you're you're counting on

Starting point is 01:42:23 you're counting on josh don't to be like a big time player but my thing is we're talking about all these teams in the atlantic and how good they are and we're talking about the players on the teams right they're they're again we're just naming players i don't know what their lines are going to be but their roster of zach benson uriculich tage thompson noah o'slin josh norris Josh Dohn, Jason Zucker, Consta Hellenius, Jack Quinn, Peyton Krebs, Ryan McLeod, and Beck Malinstein. There is one star player in that group. One. Yeah, I know, I know.

Starting point is 01:43:00 And when you look at the rosters, this is all I'm saying. And, dude, the great city of Buffalo is just a joy. I love everything about Buffalo. And that playoff run was amazing. I wanted them to go all the fucking way. It's just when you look at the rosters alone. And this game is not played on paper. It's played on ice, in fact, ladies and gentlemen.

Starting point is 01:43:20 But this game is not played on paper. But when you look at the rosters, it is hard for me to comfortably go, oh, yeah, the sabers are going to win the division again. Look at the Habs top nine. Look at the fucking Tampa top nine. Look at the Panthers top nine. Look at the Leafs top nine. It's just, the Buffalo proved to be better than the sum of their parts last year.

Starting point is 01:43:39 I hope they can do it again, but it's hard to just go. Oh, yeah, the sabers are comfortably in playoffs. I'm like, yo. And a big thing, Chris, like Josh Norris, a guy who scored 35 goals in 21, 22. Josh Norris has not played over 56 games since 21, 22. Yeah. Wow, interesting. Like 66 games, eight games had that awful injury.

Starting point is 01:43:59 50 games. 56 games total. When he got eventually traded to Buffalo, 44 games last year. Josh Norris is a top two center for your team. Yeah, you need him. Need him. You need him desperately. And he is really injured.

Starting point is 01:44:11 Like, he always struggles with injury. So you hope he can play 82 games. games this year. But like, we keep talking about the question marks. I look at a guy like Benson, Kulich, Ostland, Josh Stone, even, I'll throw in Jack Quinn there and even Krebsy. Yeah. Those are guys that you're like, are you jumping? Yeah. Really no one has proven it on this off a forward roster other than Tage. And it kind of feels like without a couple jumps, it'll be hard to keep pace. Yeah. And your defense is where your strength is. Dahlene, Samuelson, and Power are fucking unbelievable.

Starting point is 01:44:45 Great, great. But yeah, I see them being great and competitive, but this is also going to be, you know, the next year of Lindy, what happens there. And there's a lot of, we hopes, on this team. And there's just such good teams in the Atlantic right now that I'm like, yeah, yeah, right, exactly. I mean, look at the-

Starting point is 01:45:09 One bad bounce, you know. Look at the Canadians and, like, we talk about, like, the young guys and the Canadians, and we talked about every one of them has proven it. Like Slav had 30 goals last year. Demadov is insane. Coles, 50 tucks. Like all their what-ifs have answered a question.

Starting point is 01:45:24 This team has a lot of what-ifs that haven't answered the question yet. Yeah. So, yeah, I think that they won't win the division. I do think they're going to be competitive again, though. Okay, so my completely unhinged rankings, Panthers, Habs, Leifes. Tampa. Who did that?

Starting point is 01:45:48 Buffalo? Oh, Buffalo. Yeah, Tampa, Buffalo, Boston, Ottawa, Wings. Yeah. And mine is Habs, Panthers, Sabres, Bolts, Bruins, Senators, Leif's, Wings. Okay. Now, would you like to type into Claude? I would.

Starting point is 01:46:05 So, we're going to go into AI, and I'm going to say this. There are eight teams in the Atlantic Division. in the NHL. You can filibuster while I do this. Okay. Who am I hoping for? I am almost hoping, even though it would pain me as a fan in some ways, I'm almost hoping for the Leafs just because that's my most outrageous pick in my list. So if I'm going to have them third, I might as well ride with them.

Starting point is 01:46:37 Yeah, that'll make your season pretty interesting. Yeah, I really don't want the wings because I don't want to go through that. You don't want to be sad. I don't want to go through. I don't want to be sad. I don't need no damn computer machine. me who to vote for. I'm going Canadians. Yeah, yeah, okay. Last year was a lot of fun.

Starting point is 01:46:53 God, the haves would be awesome. Dude, never that playoff game, bro? That was so sick. That was, that playoff game that we went to with them in Tampa was, not to talk shit, but maybe better than any of the finals games we saw. Just as far as intensity. That was the most fun playoff experiences I've ever been a part of it. And we've been to a lot of games. That was an all-timer.

Starting point is 01:47:16 The bees would be fun. I would take the bees. You're always going to root for that. Yeah, exactly. I guess I do want a little different. This is like your side car. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, hey, that was a good term. I like that a lot.

Starting point is 01:47:27 And I'll take either Florida team. Holy shit. How hard is this ask, Dan? Don't you just say, give me it, type in? I'm doing too much. Just say, give me an Atlantic team and then hit enter. Let me just do my thing. And I'm going to do it at the same time.

Starting point is 01:47:41 This is the machine that's supposed to kill everybody? I think not. I am the machine that is struggling. I want to ask it in a very specific way. What are you saying? Just shut up. He's going full... He's rigging it.

Starting point is 01:47:56 No, he's going full Bradley Whitford from Billy Madison on you. Yeah, I actually am going to need you to read this out loud at some point just because I need to hear what level of psychosis went into this. I cannot believe the amount of keystrokes that I'm hearing when it says, can I have Atlanta team. I said there are eight teams in the Atlantic Division in the NHL, the Boston Bruins, the Florida Panthers, the Montreal Canadians, the Toronto police, the Ottawa Senators,

Starting point is 01:48:17 the Tampa Bay Lightning, the Detroit Red Wings, and the Buffalo Sabres. Can you randomly choose one team for Dan and Chris to be their favorite team this season? I know it knows it, but I just want it to be sure.

Starting point is 01:48:26 Yeah, because it'll probably be fucking wrong. These things are never right. Okay. So what's it pick? I have hit enter. Is it going to fax you the information? Yeah, here's the random draw.

Starting point is 01:48:39 Chris. The Buffalo Sabers. You know what? Fucking right. Dude, I'll take that absolutely. I'm sorry I just shit on you guys. The fucking, the regression is over. Never mind.

Starting point is 01:48:52 We are back, dude. I'm in. Damn. All right. The Florida Panthers. Oh, wow. Fucking, I'm coming home, cats. I'm coming home.

Starting point is 01:49:04 It was always perfect for this. That is awesome. That's amazing. Okay, I'm riding with the saves. Absolutely love it. That's fantastic. Okay, so that's the Atlantic Division predictions and previews. Drop in the comments. Let's hear it. I want to hear why you're pissed and I want to

Starting point is 01:49:20 hear your eight. Don't just talk shit. This is a hard one to predict. If you're going to comment and say shit, I want your eight. And we can all, you want to be fucking taking screenshots of my picks. I'm going to be fucking taking receipts of your picks. So I want the eight in the comments. If you're going to say something, put your money where your mouth is. I love it. All right. All right. Let's jump into Fraud Watch and Top Hits. I started last week. CP, why don't you start with Fraud Watch this week? Okay, I changed mine on the fly, and this is, I'm, uh, if it's me, Evan, I'm going to be, no, it's not. It's, um, and this is, I'm almost asking for a future I don't want, but I just think it would be better and less annoying. So my fraud watch is passwords because they no longer work. Like, you have a password and here's what happens every time. Here's, here's what happens with passwords in my life. I either. type in the password I've been using for a long time and I hit enter and my thig logs in

Starting point is 01:50:18 and something pops up that goes this password's part of a data leak. Your whole life has been hacked and you're a loser and I'm like, okay? Or it goes, can I suggest a strong password and it spits out hieroglyphics? You know, and I'm like, the worst. I'm like, what am I supposed to do?

Starting point is 01:50:32 Like copy this and paste this into a notes dock which then gets hacked? Right? Like what is the point of a strong password that is not rememberable because I have to then paste it somewhere hackable? So that's stupid. Or I use a password that I've come up with and can remember that it's kind of hard.

Starting point is 01:50:49 It's really long with numbers and exclamation points. But that'll eventually get hacked. And that will get hacked. And then even when I type that in, it goes, not good enough. Would you like me to text your phone? And I'm like, so what was the literal point of this? And my computer and cell phone, which obviously has a, you know, logging code, but my computer goes like this. I'm using your thumbprint, Chris, or my phone is using your face thing.

Starting point is 01:51:12 Now, obviously, I am currently sharing passwords with streamers with you on some and like my Sandra on some, you know, whatever. Dude, you know, not to interrupt you, you know, it's really sad. Yeah. We actually don't share a single streaming account anymore. Do you have your own HBO now? Yeah. Interesting.

Starting point is 01:51:26 They hacked down on that. Yeah, yeah. They cracked down on that. So this is what I was headed as they. But like, isn't that sad? Yeah, it's horrible. We lived together for so long. And that's actually not true.

Starting point is 01:51:34 There's not a single one we share. You went, what's the Paramount Plus login? You just texted me that the other day. I said to do it. I share Alice's. Why did you text it? me and I sent it wasn't. No, it sent an email thing to Alice and she was asleep. So I was like, I need yours. Okay. So my point is I'm sad. The future I'm describing,

Starting point is 01:51:53 I'm sad that it's like unshare, anything is unshareable. But the fact that everything isn't my face scanner, my fingerprint is stupid because that is unhackable. I mean, there is like sick. Are you kidding? That's incredibly hackable. They cut your thumb off. Yeah, exactly. There is more incentive for them to earn. It's right. It's more incentive for them to earn. more hackable than my password, which is, you know, everyone can get. So I'm like, dude, the fact that passwords don't even fucking work anymore, we might as well just be doing fingerprints, which is literally unique to me and you can't share anything. Like, I should just walk into my TV and go, when it goes, want to watch HBO?

Starting point is 01:52:27 And I go like this, yep, and I just touch the corner of my TV and then we're logged in. Or my remote or whatever. Passwords are bullshit. I, this is a great pick because everything you said is true. Like the whole process is insane. I will say, though, our entire lives are on our devices now. Like everything that is important to us, it's scary. And I love, love how many steps there are.

Starting point is 01:52:52 As frustrated as I get sometimes when I'm like trying to log into something and it's like, no, it's like, God damn it. But I'm like, thank you for doing that. I know your larger point is like, but the password is pointless. But I'm like, I don't think it is because it's at least one step. Yeah. But again, you are right. The only time there's one step is when it's biometric.

Starting point is 01:53:09 scan. They don't ask you anything else. And that's all I'm asking for. I'm saying literally make everything a bioscan. Scan my eyes, scan my face or scan my fingerprint. And then we don't need all these extra steps because it's literally me. Or if the person has peeled my face off and wearing it like a mask, by all means, they've earned it. Yeah, yeah. That's a lot of effort just to get on your fucking Instagram. Watch Widows back. Yeah, yeah. That's my thing is like, I can understand having high password security for like bank account information, retirement account, your medical stuff. But like, do I need eight fucking factor authentication just to log into my goddamn social media? I can't get up.

Starting point is 01:53:45 I can't log into the United app until unless it's like, you want to text your phone? And I'm like, oh my God. Yeah, piggybacking on this too, dude. Every time you buy anything anymore, you're getting an email for the rest of your life. Forever. Hey, you bought soap once from our soap company. Now I'm giving you an email always. Would you like to unsubscribe?

Starting point is 01:54:03 That actually logs you in again. You now get two emails a week. Every time you get unsubscribe, you get another weekly email. It's true. And I'm like, oh my God. All right, Ev, your fraud watch My fraud watch is birthday cake Whoa, I might disagree with this. What do you mean?

Starting point is 01:54:19 How many times have you been to a fucking birthday party And you're drinking, you're eating And they whip out the fucking birthday cake And nobody wants to eat the fucking birthday cake And every time I go to a party now Maybe this is more for adults, like maybe kids are still rocking with birthday cake But like, oh, cool, there's a cake Do I want to eat cake after I just ate

Starting point is 01:54:39 bunch of fucking barbecue and drink five beers at the end of the night. No adults are eating birthday cake, guys. It's kind of sad, but, and maybe it's because I hang out with mostly like L.A. fucking actor people. Okay. But who the fuck is eating? Like, give me brownies. Give me cookies. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You landed the plane. Completely agree. But I will say, this is definitely an L.A. problem. We're just a bunch of superficial morons in L.A. and everyone's like, oh, I can't eat cake. Yeah, but like, I just got done eating a bunch of barbecue. you. I, well, I, I guess. They're also they're drinking a shitload too. I mean, if we were that body conscious, probably

Starting point is 01:55:16 wouldn't be hammering seven or eight beers. Wait, when are you getting birthday cakes? No, no, so I, this is the part I agree with with. At birthday parties, Dan. I love cake, so I will always eat it. Normally I'm seeing cake here at the office. When it's someone's birthday, someone always brings in a fucking cake. That's why I think he's right. And I'm like, it's fucking noon on Wednesday. What are we talking about? No, so see, I will eat that cake every time. Yeah, you're an idiot, though. But you, hold on. Hold on. I had another point. Where he really nailed it, is the other options are so much better than cake. Cake stinks. Dude, give me cookies, give me brownies, give me cupcakes, give me pie. Like, it is all better than

Starting point is 01:55:51 cake, in my opinion. So I'm totally with you. It's not to say that there's not good cakes. There are good cakes that exist. There are some bad cakes. But I think by and large, cakes are kind of cheeks compared to the other options. There are some bad cakes. Every time someone comes in with cookies for birthdays, people go nuts. Yep. That is the move. Yeah, and you're, and you're, and you, you're, and You are in the majority, both of you're the majority about being right. Like if there's, I like them all. If anyone brought in any of those for a birthday, I would eat one of, of any of them. But I think some people are like, I will have a cookie.

Starting point is 01:56:18 I will have a brownie. I'm not having a slice of cake. But I'm totally aligned with you in the adult party because it is like 8 p.m. on a Saturday. You know, it's like, oh, we're through the surprise party. And now we're all boozing. And they're like, and then here's this huge cake. And dude, Gavin just had a surprise birthday party and I bought a cake for him. So like, I am part of the problem.

Starting point is 01:56:36 but it is funny to be like, yeah, I guess we'll pound a slice cake before we're at the bar. I think that the tradition of birthday cake is outdated now. I think it's a thing you do because it's what you do. It's like flowers on Valentine's Day. It's the only chance we have to get cake. Let me eat cake. It's just in my life, I'm like, okay, I'm not having any of this cake. That was funny.

Starting point is 01:56:57 I really like that one. All right. I'm going to do food as well. Sorry, I love food. Okay. My fraud watch is putting certain foods and meals into boxes based on the time of day. Okay. I think it is the weirdest thing in the world that people trying to say...

Starting point is 01:57:18 Oh, not a literal box. I know what you mean now. Yeah, I mean metaphorical boxes. Yes, I understand now. I think it is crazy that an omelet is something that you can have for dinner. Yep. Why are eggs specifically breakfast centric? Why can't you eat eggs all the time?

Starting point is 01:57:36 I think it's because literally a rooster crowed and someone woke up and were like stumbled out into a barn and then a chicken had an egg under it and they were like, I guess I should just eat this. I'll eat that. I thought you were going to go like, I'm pissed to you for waking me up. I'm going to eat your fucking kids. Yeah, yeah. Give me your fucking eggs. And another thing, why can't I wake up and have a cheeseburger? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:57:54 What's wrong with that? Dude, this is cool. Why can't I wake up and have chicken parr? And I do those things. I would hear, as someone who's not really hungry when I wake up, I would hear that people are like, dude, when you wake up in the mirror and like you haven't burned a ton of calories yet, you don't want to eat something too heavy, that's fine.

Starting point is 01:58:10 But why can't I eat a mini burger? Yeah. Why can't eat a slider? Yep. I think it is the strangest phenomenon. And I say this a lot because of in Europe, we oftentimes see like when we're in Milan and we go to like breakfast, there's like meats.

Starting point is 01:58:26 Yeah, yeah. Meats and cheeses. Yeah. And I'm like, fucking rights. That's what I love. I want to eat that now. I think it's nuts that we say, like, it's really annoying. I love when we go to Mel's.

Starting point is 01:58:38 Shout out Mel's. Yeah. And you and Sandra are always like at dinner time. It's like late night sometimes you're like, I'm getting breakfast. I've never gotten anything but breakfast. And I'm always like fucking rights. Do your thing. Yep.

Starting point is 01:58:49 But also, I hate that it's called breakfast. You should go like this. I'm getting an omelet because I love an omelette. I go, why wouldn't you do that? It's food. You can eat it whenever you want. Yeah. I actually think, too,

Starting point is 01:58:58 that you were like, oh, people don't want heavy at the beginning of the day because you haven't burned any calories yet. I actually think eating big early in the day is way better because I'm going to burn calories during the day. And I actually think we go like light, our society goes light breakfast, medium lunch, heavy dinner. I think we should literally completely flip it and have a huge breakfast, a medium lunch, and then a very bird dinner because you're like, I'm going to go to bed, dude. Like, I don't need this at all. I actually might do that from now. I like that. I mean, I have now flipped the meals. Thank you for this. You either got to eat earlier or eat smaller because you can't go to bed.

Starting point is 01:59:32 Yeah. Yeah, man, it pisses me off. Dude, my breakfast of steak and a baked potato is going to hit like crap. You're going to start your day so well. It just pisses me off. It happened to me in the airport the other day. I was like, I woke up in New York and I was like, I want to get food for the plane because I fuck airport food and also fuck, you know, whatever.

Starting point is 01:59:55 And I thought about it. I was like, I want to eat this around. around noon on the plane. I want food that I love. I'm a big lunch and dinner boy. Yeah. I love eggs and stuff like that, but I was like,

Starting point is 02:00:05 I want like a sandwich or something. No, nowhere to be found. You wake up that early in the morning, there's nowhere you can order from that's making lunch option. Yeah, Jersey Mike's doesn't open until fucking 11 a. I know.

Starting point is 02:00:16 Exactly. And then I even get to the airport and, dude, the Newark United Lounge is brutal for options because they all, really. They just do a bunch of those like

Starting point is 02:00:26 mod kitchens. There's not like a Jersey Mikes in the airport. It's all these like fake bullshit names and they use all the same kitchen. And every one of them that has lunch options, they're like, we're making our breakfast sandwiches right now. And I'm like, give me a fucking Italian sub right now.

Starting point is 02:00:40 You rats. It drives me nuts. That's really good, Dan. Got to change the games. Okay, coming back around, my top hits is going to be Fairweather Fandom. Oh, cool. It's football season. It's Premier League season. I am here to tell you guys, it's

Starting point is 02:00:56 okay to be a Fair Weather fan. And if you're team sucks, you don't have to suffer. Take a few weeks off, see if they get better. Like, if you're a Browns fan right now, shut her down. Don't suffer. Throw it on in the background. Have a couple beers, eat some good food. Maybe go to a bar where there's a bunch of games on, enjoy yourself, enjoy your time, maybe do something completely different. Go golfing. Yeah. And then come back and check your phone and see how the Browns did. Yep. And if they lost, you go, I'm glad I didn't wait four hours, waste four hours of my life suffering through that. I just played golf, had a great day, hopefully, and you then check and they lost and you go, huh, bummer.

Starting point is 02:01:30 And if they won, you go, cool, maybe I'll tune in next week. Yep. But Fairweather fandom gets a bad rep and I think it is actually way better for your mental health. Because you know what, dude, if you're not watching and your team wins, you're still a fan of that team, you just, you didn't happen to not watch. Yep. And if you don't watch for the purposes of enjoying your life and your mental health and you turn it on and you see that they lost, you go, I'm glad I didn't suffer through this. I'm so with you, I don't particularly care for team jumping. You know, you're like, I'm the fan of this team.

Starting point is 02:02:03 No, no, no, no. That's front running. That's different. Yeah, front running. I'm not particularly fan of. But the Fair Weather fandom, when I was younger, I thought was a tragedy. I was like, the Red Sox are going to go 40 and 120. And I'm going to watch every 120 of those losses because it makes me worth it when they win later.

Starting point is 02:02:18 And now I'm like, do you think I have fucking time to watch a professional sports team suck? Dude, just turn it off. It's a switch you're allowed to turn off. fucking that's i i've i've completely become a paper stealers fan just because every time there's like hey you want to watch the steelers game it's on at 10 a m we're going to go to a bar at 10 a m and i'm like literally the last thing i want to do on a sunday morning is get up go to hollywood just hang out with a bunch of fucking drunks yeah and then and then take a nap the rest of the day i have shit to do yes so i'm a fair way and you know what if they're on night game i'll watch it sometimes but i'm like

Starting point is 02:02:50 i'll tell you man i'm glad they won enjoy your life i'm a fairer fan of every team yeah if your team sucks. Don't suffer through it. You're still a fan. Just turn it on up. But front running is asked. And you know what? You're actually going to laugh with this because I've talked about this. I hate to sewer a like 19 year old kid. My old boss's son. I'm not going to dead name him. Oh yeah. But you know who I'm talking about. And also if you're listening to the show because he does listen to this show, I love you. So don't get mad at me. This fucking kid, Evan, since the day he was born. Frontrunner. Is the biggest frontrunner son of a bitch I've ever seen. Like he's born and raised in LA. Yeah. And every now and then, like, someone would be making a run in various sports. And my boss would be like, this, oh, son is rooting for blank. And I'd be like, what? Why?

Starting point is 02:03:39 Yeah. Why is he a Cleveland Cavs fan? Yeah. And he'd be like, because LeBron's on the team. And I was like, oh, you tool. Yeah. And he did, he did, it was every year. He had a different favorite team. This little rat after week one in the NFL post-a-old. picture of him in a Jackson Smith in Jigba jersey and he was like, we up. And I was like, you're a Seahawks fan. Because they won the bowl last year. He is the biggest front

Starting point is 02:04:06 runner ever and I adore this kid. They beat the Rams in like the NFC championship. That's your team. It's pathetic. And I will, to his face, I will call him out on this and I have and I will do it again, but it drives me. I think you get one front run and you have to be a young kid and it has to be like kind of

Starting point is 02:04:24 understandable. Like, you know, everybody of our generation was like, I love the Bulls because of Michael Jordan. And I'm like, and I'm 10. That's fine. I think you get one and then the rest of your life, you get no more. Then you're with them forever. And yeah, the statute of limitations, I think, is 14 years old. Yeah. I'm correct. Yeah, I'm with you. You can't go away from it. Like, I kind of do it in a lot of individual sports. Like, I love Tiger. I love Federer. But I am now not like, I like Alcraz more than I ever liked Federer. I'm like, no, dude. You had your guy. That was my guy. Unbelievable. All right. Ev, top hit. My top hit. public libraries

Starting point is 02:04:54 Do you always familiar? Does anybody here have a public library card? I do not, but our older memory had one, and I wish I, he often said I should have had one, and I wish I did. We're wasting money, literally wasting money buying books that we read once, and then they sit. Like, you could just fucking go to the library, check out the fucking book. Libraries are great. If you're on the road and you've got to take a dump, stop at the library.

Starting point is 02:05:20 Yeah. They also have digital services. Literally, Canopy is a free library. Like, you could watch movies. So if you're sitting there bitching, like, I don't want to spend money on streaming platforms. I don't want to spend money on books. It's less wasteful. It's a free service.

Starting point is 02:05:37 Get on board with the library, guys. I have two potential counters, but I genuinely like this because, as you know, I'm a big reader and I love books. And I don't want libraries to go the way of the pay phone, you know? Right. Keep them around. I'm pro-library. Yes. Question number one, do you have to pay for the library card?

Starting point is 02:05:55 Absolutely not. Okay, so question number one, why do I need a card? Why can I just fucking go into the library? Because they're like, where's your card? I'm like, what are you talking about? Because that's how they track you. Because if you take a book out and you don't bring it back, then they can like find you. And they're like, oh, you owe us $30 for the book.

Starting point is 02:06:10 He's probably to keep like vagrants out too. Yeah. Even though they do welcome a lot of vagrants. Which is great. They need a place to go. Okay, I'll kind of hear that. Don't I disagree. I don't like that.

Starting point is 02:06:19 even though I should just be able to walk in, check it out, and be like, here's my email, you know, and then like, that should be the same thing. It should be that easy. Well, yeah, you, they give you a card. They also give you a number. Like, you have digital card. Like, it's pretty updated. Because I'm like, dude, you're a park. Like, I should just be able to walk in when I want. And second, and this is my bigger counter. I, Marty had a, had a library, and go to library. And he would always do this. I'd be like, oh, dude, we're reading Red Rising. We're reading Will of the many. Would always be these cool books that I'd be like, Marty, these books are popular now. We are reading them. I have bought it, you have bought it, and Marty would go, I'm going to go check it up from the library.

Starting point is 02:06:49 Because I want to save money. And he would go to the library and be like, hey, can I get out Red Rising or whatever popular book of the day? And they'd be like, oh, yes, you're 50th on the wait list to get Red Rising. And I'm like, okay, so you don't have it. And I have to wait for 49 people to read it before I can have it. And they're like, yes. And I'm like, dude, you are the library. Like, you need to have one billion copies of Red Rising because I'm not waiting for other

Starting point is 02:07:12 randoms to read this fucking book. Right. For newer books, it's not great if it's a hot item. But if you're looking for classic stuff or just older stuff or whatever, then it's great. For sure. Them getting into movies was a great move. That was cool. I agree with that take.

Starting point is 02:07:30 I also absolutely fucking hate libraries because in our hometown, we had a massive town vote to either build an awesome state-of-the-art hockey rink or a brand-new library when we had a library and they built a like 50 million dollar library that is only open like three days a weekend is the biggest waste of space piece of shit it was tough it was tough it was very tough it was so bad and then also I really like having a bookshelf me too trust me I've got a ton of books like too many yeah but I'm at that point in my life where I'm like I now I don't need anymore if I want to read something new or old but new to me yeah yeah then I'll go to the fucking library but it's also good just to like you know reminder, kids, they're not just something you had in schools.

Starting point is 02:08:16 Yeah, yeah. I'm talking to Gen Z, you fucking dummies. They literally can't read. They can't read. We'll learn to read, go to the library, and it's free. It's a good thing. Yep. Okay, my...

Starting point is 02:08:26 That was good one, F. That was good. My top hit is having a mini fridge as an adult. Mini Fridge is such a college staple. You're like, oh, there's no room. There's no room in my dorm for a full fridge. I don't have a mini fridge, and it's awesome. And then I had a mini fridge, and it was sick in my dorm room.

Starting point is 02:08:41 And then I feel like you go away from that. But then I remember getting to my Hollywood job, my boss had, we obviously have a work fridge. We have a work fridge here. Yeah. But my boss had a mini fridge in his office. Yeah. And it was sick because he'd be like, he'd stock it with like, you know, seltzer waters and Celsius and, you know, beers maybe for a Friday. And then like some lunch snacks and food.

Starting point is 02:09:01 And I was like, that's actually amazing. And I all, I got to this because I almost made my fraud watch work fridges because they're just a shit show every time. Oh, they're horrible. Yeah. There's like, there's like milk in there from. years ago. It's nobody's responsibility. Why is my lunch soaked? Like what happened? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But

Starting point is 02:09:19 that could be an honorary fraud watch. But I was like having, I wish Dan, we just had a mini fridge in the annex. That was like a couple soda waters, whatever, because I'd be like, oh, that's perfect. And you never have them as adult, but you should have them. It's one of the best picks I've ever heard in my entire life. Yeah. We need mini fridges in literally every room in the house. And I, especially in the workplace, I think about it all the time.

Starting point is 02:09:38 How often do you just need to keep something cold for a quick second? it is a no-brainer. And not that I don't want the steps, but it's just kind of nice to not be like, oh, I got to go through the fucking kitchen to get my thing. I'm like, we all got in and just put our lunch in the mini fridge.

Starting point is 02:09:51 And I'm like, amazing. Mini fridge is great for apartments too. Also, I will make a shout out to the Midwest garage fridge, which is every, every, it's like, God, imagine living somewhere where you had the money to have a garage and then a fridge in it

Starting point is 02:10:05 with like beer and food. Garage fridge is one of the great things of all time. Or like a chest freezer that has like, oh, here's a bunch of meat. that I'm saving up. Amazing. God,

Starting point is 02:10:13 God, love it. Honestly, fridge variations are the top hit. Mini fridge, garage fridge. Chest freezer? Yeah, yeah. The mini fridge are

Starting point is 02:10:20 fridge variations. Yeah. Very fucking cool. Unbelievable choices, boys. Let's go to the blind ranking and get us out of here. I'm like rattled. That was all so good.

Starting point is 02:10:29 Yep. Rattled. We just need fridges everywhere. All right, in honor of Tom Cruise, who is coming out with a new film called Digger, I don't know if you've seen the trailers for it. It looks like a fun ride

Starting point is 02:10:39 of the film and he's been doing some media. We're going to blind rank Tom Cruise's best roles. This incredible. I saw I'm sitting with Taylor Swift at the Chiefs game. It really pissed me off. Really? Yeah, love Tom, hate the Chiefs, hate, well, I don't hate Taylor Swift, but I think,

Starting point is 02:10:52 I think she's out of control. I think we need to over-exposed. Yeah, we need to reel Taylor Swift in. Wow. Okay, blind ranking, be careful. Blind ranking, Tom Cruise rolls. Can I ask a question? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:11:04 Yep. This is for you. Are we doing this by movie or by role? Oh, good question. Um fuck yeah I guess I want to go roll

Starting point is 02:11:18 yeah because it's it opens up the chance yeah yeah yeah okay or I could do a medley yep here's Lestat an interview with a vampire

Starting point is 02:11:26 okay the man what a classic he has some roles that I've loved Tomkers I know you do too

Starting point is 02:11:37 he has some roles that I think are literally all time and this movie is actually all time. Dude, I genuinely don't think people understand how good this movie. Yeah, correct. Do you have any idea how stacked this cast is? It's moronic.

Starting point is 02:11:52 It's absurd. And I almost want to go four because there's so much gas coming. Maybe, maybe, maybe. And I almost wanted to say five, yeah, but there's obviously something that would be well under this. Really? Okay. Hell yes.

Starting point is 02:12:09 I do want to say this movie has Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise. Antonio Banderas, Christian Slater, Thandie Newton, Kirsten Dunst. If you haven't seen this, go watch it. I bet a lot of people listening haven't seen this. Shout out our girl Helen McCrory, RIP. Yeah. Unbelievable.

Starting point is 02:12:27 Okay. Purses of Malfoy. Four. All right, number four. Ethan Hunt, Mission Impossible films. I get all of them? I guess it's roles. Yeah, it's the role.

Starting point is 02:12:37 I think, you know, generally he's doing the same thing. This is interesting now, Dan, because this could easily be one for me. It's an iconic role. I think Fallout is maybe the best action movie ever made. And that's a thing. But there are roles, like literal characters he's played that I hold in such high regard that would be higher than Ethan Hawk, the character.

Starting point is 02:13:03 Hunt. Ethan Hunt. Or sorry, yeah, Ethan Hunt. So I'm up high, but I'm interested to hear what you think. think you have an interesting look on your face we we have to stop this this is too difficult yeah it's going to be really hard there there are three tom cruise rules that are the top three for the only ones that i would consider one yep god i wonder what your third is that i have two on top of my head it god tom cruise is just and they could be coming down like we could go three here

Starting point is 02:13:43 if you if you fear one is coming okay there's One is coming and I, I, so we can't go one then. Genuinely, I'm like, we certainly can go one. But, but you believe one of your top three is coming. No, no, no, I'm saying one of the three. Not number one. One of the three I said is definitely coming. I'm not sure if both are coming.

Starting point is 02:14:02 Yeah. But I'm not, I, this is in one of those three and I, it might be one. Oh, this is one of your three. Are you fucking insane? Got it. Ethan Hunt. It's iconic. Ethan Hunt.

Starting point is 02:14:12 It's literally our answer to James Bond. It's James Bond. Like you're like, Ethan Hunt. You're considering not being one? I thought you said you had three above it. That's what I was saying. No, no, I have three that I'm considering. This isn't one of them.

Starting point is 02:14:24 Yep. I think we go two, dude. Fine. But we might be making a huge mistake. Agreed. There are so many of these movies and they're all perfect. Yep. Okay.

Starting point is 02:14:42 This might be a huge mistake. Let's go two. Ethan Hunt is two. My next role is Maverick and Top Gun. That had to be one of your three. Unfortunately, we have to go... Unfortunately. If we go three.

Starting point is 02:14:59 And then we get the other one, you're happy. And it is what I want. Then this is the greatest list of my life, no matter what is number five. Yep. But if we go one and we get what you want and it's three, is it that bad? No. But I am bummed, I think. I think we probably have the same one.

Starting point is 02:15:13 I think we have to go Pete Maverick Mitchell. One. One. And then we just roll the dice, dude. Sometimes you roll the dice. Hmm. But this is what I was considering. It's strictly from just a mount, dude.

Starting point is 02:15:30 I know. I wish this list didn't have to be five. Are we saying Maverick is better than Ethan Hunt? I know some people feel that way. Maverick is not like truly, but Top Gun and Point Break are my two favorite movies. Yeah, and then Top Gun Maverick is insanely awesome. Incredible. But Mission Impossible.

Starting point is 02:15:47 There are so many of them. I know. Ethan Hunt is perfect. It is amazing. Okay, I'll let you do this one. I'm okay with one or three. I think Evan is just awesome enough to do what I want, and I want it one. Okay.

Starting point is 02:16:06 Okay, so this is three. No, no, no. We have to protect the sanctity of Maverick. Okay, Maverick is one. Maverick one. Okay, Maverick is one. I think he's going to do it at five, which scares me. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:16:18 I don't know what you're talking about. Daniel Caffe and A Few Good Men. Oh my God. Wow, I did not see that coming. That is incredible. That movie is so fucking good. Rob Reiner. So, Dan, unthinkably.

Starting point is 02:16:34 Unthinkably, we might have to go five here. No. No. Here's a thing, dude. A few good men is one of the greatest fucking films of all time. And it is such a good performance. Unfortunately, Danny is the villain in that movie, as I told you guys in my most recent rewind.

Starting point is 02:16:50 watch. Like, we 1,000% need Colonel Jessup, and he is, he is endangered our country. All Danny does is in danger the point of the film. No, all Danny does is endanger the U.S. at the end of that movie. Chris watches Ferris Bueller and Roots for the Principal. Oh, wow. Roots for Prinney. He's a pedophile, by the way. No room for that guy. Yes. That's such a funny one of the funniest takes of all. Okay. The, okay, so do you want to go three? This is one of, one of the best movies ever made. One of Tom Cruise's three best actor nominations. This is three.

Starting point is 02:17:27 Big softball guy in that movie. Yeah. Big softball guy. This is going to be three. I think it has to. I mean, dude, he has. Like, can you live with putting Born on the Fourth of July below interview with a vampire? Or born of the fourth, sorry, a few good men.

Starting point is 02:17:44 No, not really. But I will be heartbroken if. the thing that one comes, and I have to put it five. Do you think, we're thinking the same thing? I'm guessing we are, but I'm not sure. I'm really curious to know what you got in thinking. You know who I am. Yeah, and you know who I am.

Starting point is 02:17:59 Well, dude, I'm telling you right now, I'm going to unalive myself. If he says what I'm worried about him saying, and it's five. Okay. Well, I mean, are you going to take that chance then? Because if you don't want to take that chance, you have to put a few good men below vampire. Vampire should have been five. For the purposes of the clip, we're going to go a few good men three. Okay.

Starting point is 02:18:24 So this is what Evan says next is five. Evan, I'm begging you with everything in my heart to not say what I can. I don't know what's in your head. But in my head, it's less gross men from Traveck Thunder. Okay, that's one dude. And like, that's the fucking. Fuck you, dude. And that's one.

Starting point is 02:18:46 Seriously. Fuck you. And that's one. Because this is, I know it. Why are you blaming him? I fucking knew it. I wanted. No, no, no.

Starting point is 02:18:53 This was the one, and I was like, that is what I needed. And I just can't fucking believe that that just happened. I fucking knew it. I said Evans awesome enough that he would know it and he would say it. Of course I know it. Now, now I'm living in a world where Les Grossman, literally the greatest performance in movie history. Movie history. Is five.

Starting point is 02:19:15 It's the best performance of all time. And not one. The list should literally be reversed. No, that's not true either. No. I'm saying fuck you because I needed you to be stronger in the conviction of what I was saying. And the fact that you had the audacity to say when I'm saying there's three roles and you're like, I don't know what the third is. What are you talking about?

Starting point is 02:19:36 I was going to say hunt three because those two, Maverick and Les, are the goats. This is the worst. That went horribly. That's the worst thing that ever happened in blind ranking history. Well, look at it this way. The role was very small. It doesn't matter. It's true.

Starting point is 02:19:53 There are no small roles, only small actors, they say. We don't negotiate with terrorists. And we have unfortunately just become terrorists. That ends this episode on the worst note in the history of the MTV Netters program. Division previews will continue to come out as well as some awesome interviews. We've got really exciting ones coming up. Kings fans, Kane fans. You're going to be fucking thrilled.

Starting point is 02:20:17 You know the drill, guys. Subscribe. Please give us five star. I can't imagine I'm asking for five stars after that. But we love you guys. Have a great weekend. I'm going to go off myself and watch the greatest comedy ever made and try to repent for my sins. Until we see you next time.

Starting point is 02:20:35 Skate hard, I guess.

Empty Netters Podcast - Atlantic Division Predictions For The 2026-27 NHL Season

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