Empty Netters Podcast - BONUS: Heated Rivalry Episode 2 Review

Episode Date: December 27, 2025

No one told us we were going to get Olympics! The “rivalry” does heat up as as Hollander and Rozanov battle for MVP awards and gold medals. But we were not expecting to get so emotional this early! This episode should’ve been titled heartbreak city. Join us for a full breakdown. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are back. We are horned up, and it is now time to go deep. Deep into episode two of heated rivalry, the hockey show, storming. Storming onto the scene, taking over the world. This episode, guys, begins, and the time jumps are wild. I keep a little complaining about time jumps last step. And the texts going back and forth between Shane and. and Elia are so freaking cute, but also, this show is heartbreaking. Dude, I can't believe you said that.

This show is heartbreaking. I'm like so emotionally invested now, and I'm like, this is just a, a tragic romance that these guys are... Shakespeare. We're getting just like years of, you know, these guys that I feel like their careers

are flashing before our eyes. We're only getting, choice encounters and meetups and it's like oh my god I could not believe the because there's like a misconnection vibe between them dude it's crazy I wish I had read the book so badly after reading a lot of comments

but I also love experiencing it this way I'm glad nothing spoiled and whatever it's been fun but dude the watching some of those texts go through so again I knew there was misconnection stuff coming but I didn't expect to be so sad about it. I thought it was going to be like,

oh yeah, they just, you know, they're always like playing cheeky. And the first one, when he goes, what's a lonely girl supposed to do in Montreal? And it just gets ghosted. Ghosted. I was like, oh my God. I was actually so upset. I'm telling you.

I was so upset. It was heartbreaking. I also, I want to jump in and say to all of the viewers. And people kind of figured this out in the comments, which, by the way, I love all of you for all the comments and how fun this has been. We have not read the books, and nor are we going to. So, like, the three of us are just watching this show.

So when there's stuff that we say, and you guys in the comments have so fun and passionately been like, well, no, it's because of this and that. Keep doing that. But, like, we're not, it's not like we're not paying attention or not doing our homework. We want to watch the show blind. So we're not doing any book research. So, anyway, we get this great texting montage, showing, like, how they're maintaining their relationship, how they're chatting, but really not seeing each other. And the way the tone of the show

and like the smut and the sex always comes out, even in these emotional moments, like the text that says, I still want that asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Incredible. And then I was, I did have to laugh. The names in the phones, uh, what is it? Jane and Lily. Is Jane and Lily being in the phones at the same time as sending dick picks and referencing like nine inch cocks. I was like, guys, we're not getting away with anything here. Like, we can't be talking like that with the fake names. Like, someone's going to see that and be like, this is a man.

They need a full, they need a full document of coded encryption. You know, like, tits means my asshole. Yeah. Like, I want you to come all over my tits, you know, and I'm like, okay. I want Shane to pull out the encryption. And he's like, okay, yep, I got it. We need a cipher. We need a cipher on the Jane and Lily text.

Need to use the enigma code. Yeah, 100% dude. And I loved, I like, they do a great job with their different voices. Yeah. Like, Shane is so, like, sweet. You know, and Ely is like, want to come while you're in Boston. And he's like, that doesn't make any sense. Your English sucks.

And he's like, read it again. I'm like, read it again. I'm like, so. Good. Question for the team. because then the dick pick hit you know the dick pick was awesome what a what a pick too like that's the proper angle dude

he's that was the correct that was the correct I know you paused I know you paused I know you paused have a good look did you kidding me well especially he's fucking chirping about nine goals nine inches bro and I'm like I gotta go back and let's look at the dick pick to fucking see if that was that was bullshit dude yeah that was the hype train or not no it's a great horn he's a great horn so uh and so here's my question for the team

I, when the first year jumped, and it ended up jumping like three years, but when the first year went by, I wrote, I was like, they didn't hook up all year. And my question for you two is, are they smashing other ass during that year? Shane absolutely is not. I agree. So Shane has not been laid for three years. Yeah, I think he is a, and I believe someone said in the comments that Shane's a virgin. Until Eelia. And I, yeah, I think Shane is, you know.

Well, Ilya says first guy. So we know it's first guy, but I don't know if he's never. I'm saying, I think book readers told us that in the books, like Shane is a virgin. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting.

So Shane's gold star. Yeah. Ooh. Well. Yeah. Not platinum. Platinum is C-section, right? So gold star gays are you've never had sex with a girl ever.

You never touched a vagina. You've only touched dudes. Platinum star gays are gay guys that. have done that, but we're also C-section baby, so they never even exited. They've never even... Isn't that the funniest name ever? It's incredible. That is insane.

It's incredible. No, Shane, we cannot confirm platinum, but we can confirm Gold Star. Yeah. So Shane has done nothing for a year, for three years. Yeah. But Elya has been smashing. I love... Okay, so I'm starting to pick up on...

Where's Fetlana at, dude? Where's Fetlana at those three years? I bet in the mix. Yeah, I mean, later on they say like, oh, like they've been Ryan since childhood. Like, so they're clearly like family friends as well. So I'm guessing she's been at birthdays and stuff, but maybe not drama. Commenters helped with that too. They were like, they're not dating.

They're just like friends who have like hooked up here and there. Friends with benefits. Friends with benefits, I think. Yep, that was great. The pregame text. Yes. And watching Shane like delete, type out, delete type out. That was when we're talking about the show being like heartbreaking,

that was one of the early scenes in this episode for me where I'm like genuinely I'm emotionally invested because that was a scene for me that was getting us in Shane's head like this is also new to him he's like not great at like the banter you can tell he's kind of emotionally invested in this but he's like I don't know if Elia like loves me right or if this is just fun for him

and like how many times have we all been there of like the bowl's gone yeah like got something I want to say no, I don't want to say this. And then what he comes with is just hilarious. Bro, I don't know twice. I laughed. I laughed out loud. I often say this where sometimes in TV, if something is funny, I don't laugh because

I go like, oh, that was fun. I acknowledge it was funny instead of just laughing because I'm impressed by the joke. Yeah. And laugh out loud is another level. And I laughed out loud at the television when he goes, he's like, we're about to play a game. Delete. Are you trying to fuck me before this game?

Delete. I don't know twice. also such a reasonable answer he's like I don't know maybe twice like he's like not getting ahead of himself he's not going to be like

10 times bro he's like maybe twice maybe two times and Rosie's like too pussy like have a little fun you're horrible at sexting so so and then Shane goes who taught you that word

and I was like God this is good this is good banter it was amazing fucking amazing then we get a meetup yep and Race up the stairs. Adorable. I loved the race up the stairs. How cute was the race up the stairs? Like, it was, again, just a great way to show that, like, they are competitive with each other in this fun and, you know, cute way.

They're heated rivals, dude. They're heated rivals. And it's like, even stuff like that. They're like, I'm racing you up the stairs. That was just a great little moment. I really love the mom dynamics in here when they're chatting and like, Ely would say anything about his mom. And Shane is like, that's not funny or whatever. And I was like, like kind of laying in stuff like his complicated or not complicated, but. He's a mama's boy. He's a mama's boy. And she's, you know, she's demanding. And that comes out there too. She's the boss.

Dude, dad doesn't even hurt a YouTube. Dad doesn't know YouTube, dude. The mom's running that house. Right? So then we get our first sex scene. Really? Right? Like, you know, we've had hookups.

Didn't they try in F1? I think so. And he was like, no, don't want to do it here with the guy. next door. Oh yeah, yeah, with Hunter next door. Yeah, yeah, that's right. So we get our first sex scene, romantic as hell, that scene. Romantic is one word for it. But like the music, you know, like they, it was like, that was a romance. Oh, that was cinematic, Sean. Yeah, the music is what I was taking away from that scene. I was like, the music is really taking all my attention here. Yeah. I mean, listen, they, like these, they're, those are, these are horny scenes. Yep. A couple of things

before you get into the horniness of the scene. Loved chirping the throw pillows on the bed by Elia. Loved it. That's such a real thing. I hate throw pillows. Sandra has a million fucking pillows on the bed. I don't need that shit. And that was amazing. Two, I think it

did jump far enough that Shane would be off his rookie deal. He was either in the last year of his rookie deal or in year one of a new deal, which would be a fat ticket because he's the captain and MVP. But he's got big deal. He's got the Rolex rebuffs. He's a rebuffs. I was loving real estate mogul shape.

Yeah. He's like, I got this huge place here. I'm going to blow out the wall. Think about it, though. He's a smart kid, dude. You think he's spending money on cars and shit? No, no, no, no. He's investing in real estate.

That was awesome. Shane is smart. I also, guys, I want to point out here, Elia is a consent king. Yes, you love that, dude. Oh, my God. That's fucked too, bro. Alex is Alex is always like every time.

He's like, is this okay? Is this okay? Just check-ins. Left and right. Elya being like, do you like that? Is this good? I wonder if that's in everything. Like these are our two experiences, Pockton, this.

That's true. And it's everything. So I wonder if like that all the smut is very, well, I bet it. That makes sense. Consent, consent, dude. Hey. Consent king. When was this written, actually.

I think, I think it's like when the show is set. I think she wrote this in like 2008. Gentlemen, heeded rivalry published 2019. So she wrote, she retroactively. Yeah, she loves Crosby and Obie. Yeah, it's just a. Rosby and Ovia. Period piece.

Fuck yeah, Rachel. Yeah. That's awesome. Published October 22nd, 2019. Takes place in 2008, because we're going to get up to present day in this show. It's crazy that 2008's like a period now. Yeah. I'm like, oh my God.

God damn it. We're old. Love that sex scene. Now we get to the Olympics. Oh, sorry, I have a question about the sex scene now. Go, go, go, go, go. One, was that, and this, forgive my ignorance, because I'm genuinely asking. Yeah.

And please, in the comments. Like, I'm asking the comments, actually, right now. or I guess the first one I'm asking you guys, and I'm pretty sure I know, but that was the heavy roll, the reverse crunch, that was ass eating, correct? I felt so.

Yes. Because like, usually every time he's gone down there, I'm like, oh, he's blowing him. But then there was like an extra roll. And I was like, I think we're ass eating. I think, I thought we were eating ass. Okay, great. Because during that scene, Dan,

I told this to you already, but I had, we had a little, we had a chaotic day yesterday and I get home and I ordered food and it wasn't there when I got home and it's supposed to be and I was like whatever and it would but it showed me the guy was like still at the restaurant and it's just like late late late and eventually a guy calls me and he's like hey dude I'm at the restaurant and you've seen it's changed drivers a bunch right and I was like yep and he's like the restaurant says they've already they already gave it to a driver and he dropped

you know to take it to you and I've been home and never had it so he was like all right to yeah someone the driver stole it this happens all the time And I was like, God damn it, dude. So he's like, I'm going to get them to refire the order. And then I will bring you the food. Thank you, sir, very much. He does all that. I had said, just leave it at my door.

But he knocked on the door to assure that I got it because he was the man, actually. Shut out, Omar. So he knocks on the door and I get the food. I open the door. And he's like, hey, I'm like, Omar, thank you so much, dude. I really appreciate it. And we have a quick chat, three minute chat. And I accept the food.

And I'm like, all right, thanks, dude. Have a great night. Drive safe. And you've been at my place. You are in the living. You open that door and I'm like, boom. Here's my house. Sit on the couch with me.

Yeah. So I'm like, bye, Omar, have a great night. And I close the door and like turn back into the living room. And the ass eating scene is happening. I had paused. He did rivalry when he arrived and it is, I forget which one. But like, Elia is like rolled over onto his back with his ass being eaten. And Obar was like, have a great night, sir.

Omar knew you were having a great night. He's like, this guy is going deep on Sunday night. Yeah. Like I think he was looking like this. That dude is watching porn on his screen, on his living room TV. And ordering a Euro bowl. Yeah. Yes. That's exactly what happened. That's exactly what happened. So anyway, second question, and this is, this is legitimately me asking the comment section, can you do missionary? It appeared they were doing missionary. Yeah. I didn't know that that angle was possible. I mean, I'm saying, yeah, like I know. But yeah, yeah. I think so. With nine inches, anything's possible. Damn right, dude.

That's so true. You're from across the fucking room. Guys got a pool noodle. He can bend and shape that thing any way he wants. That was crazy to me. I was like, oh my God, I didn't know that was in the cards. Don't forget the throw pillows. They can probably use those for leverage and, you know, get, you are right there.

Knocking your. Look at this, too. This is Elya. That's Elya's cock. Yeah. Anything is possible. But you mentioned they have that sex and we are kind of as the audience being like, is this, you know, how many times is this?

And then the worth the weight line. Another one, Dan. Dude. I wrote, that was adorable. I had flagged a note early that I was bummed with all the time jumps that I was like, damn, I was hoping that they would have banged a bunch of times by now. And then I deleted that, or I struck through it a strike through that note because I was like, you know what?

When Rosenoff said worth the weight, I was like, oh. And now, and I was like, you know what? This was actually perfect. They played this perfectly. Yeah. Also, how about the. Rosie. We went from Rosanoff to Rosie. I like Rosie. Me too. Yeah, it's a good, great nickname. Like that way more. Like that way more.

So, as I mentioned, now we're in Sochi. We're at the Olympics. It was sick they actually did Sochi. I thought it was going to be like, oh, here's the fake. They even referenced the, do you remember the black mold thing? Uh-huh. Oh yeah. They referenced it. Yeah. It was like real Sochi, 2024 Olympics. That was so crazy. That was, I was like, I was like, okay. Yeah. Good job, guys. I wanted an Oshi moment. I wanted there to be like, like a little, just like whisper of like, oh, Ilya, like you guys law, like that American kids had a million

shootout goals and I was going to be like, yes. Yeah. I will say my one hang up, I didn't love the USA and Canada boys hanging around with each other. But they're teammates though, I know, I just, dude, we saw it for, I can't speak to it. I wasn't

at the Sochi Olympics and I, you know, but, and obviously these guys will talk, but like at four nations. Yeah, yeah. They were like, I am not fucking talking to my teammates. Yeah. We have those stories of, you know, like, juice and Dewey on the plane together. We're like, I'm not speaking to you.

Like, we are playing an international tournament. That's not the sportsmanship of the Olympics. Yeah, Olympics is all about it. And that is a great. Bringing the world together. That is fair. And listen, I get it. We need it for the scene.

But I was like, this is, this feels crazy that USA and Canada guys would be like, let's get lunch. They're eating like fucking. They kind of have like an asai bowl or like frozen yogurt. Was that in the Olympic Village? It looked like they were in a mall food court. It kind of looked like they were in like a mall food court thing. But maybe that's what the Olympic field.

They were like, oh, yeah, what up? And it's, again, it's fine. It's not a complaint. I was just like, oh. But then, dude, we get our USA player another tolerant king moment. Yeah. I loved that, the mention of like he was like, it's brave of these guys. Like, because he was talking about Shane's figure skating boy.

Yeah. And he was like, good for him, dude, being in Russia. and like being gay and like you know like I assume he's gay and that's very brave of him. Dude, I couldn't tell if they wanted that to be Shane like I couldn't tell if they wanted that scene to have it be like, oh, Shane being like, oh, I'm uncomfortable because they're chirping gay people. Yeah. But I kind of read it that.

I was like, I thought he's being, I thought he's being nice. I think he was being nice. I don't think it was a chirp. And like I looked at it from Shane's perspective and like his reaction of kind of clocking like he was like, yeah, true. And I thought it was, I thought it was a line less so about like Shane being like, oh yeah, like I can't let anyone know. And more so about Shane considering Elia and being like, oh, he's like he's Russian and he is, you know, he's gay or by and he has been dealing with this his whole life living here. That was good.

I thought it was a cool moment of Shane being like, fuck, like I'm thinking about Elia now because we then get the, he goes, he sees him watching the figure skating and goes and talks to him. And Elya being a bitch, dude. Well, did you see Scott Hunter's reaction when they talk about the figure figure? Did I am telling you? Did I not say, Scott Hunter knows. I was hawking Scott Hunter knows for sure. Scott Hunter knows for sure. Also in that scene, or the scene before that, Shane and Elya, Shane going, I've been dreaming of this my whole life.

And Elya goes, dreaming of what, bronze medal? Yeah, it's great. Elite. Elite. Churp. Also, man in the crease pod. Not a school of a name is ours. Not a school of a name.

man in the crease. You're in the fucking crease, dude. What are you the goalie? It's a goalie's pot. Did you watch that and you're like, are they making fun of us? Yeah. I was like, come on, Jacob. What did we do? Okay, and then, all right, so keep going because I've got some shit later. Well, I mean, we're just, we're at the Olympics here now and... Russia humiliates themselves.

Russia loses. Brutal. They get clapped. Dude, ricochet at Lafia. You lost to Lafia. not great they got Shilovs in that dude come on the fucking spider

yeah so that was brutal um but we now get a little bit of an insight into like elia and what he's dealing with with his this whole next section this whole next like 10 minutes of the show is incredible

yeah so Elia's dad is like Putin's Putin I couldn't believe it I was Putin's son I mean like if he's is he literally the president or like is he just like I love the KHL propaganda from from Putin he was like this you go off to the play of the shit leak in

America now you're worse yes keep the homegrown talent here he's literally an MVP finalist and he's like you stink poop son dude holy fuck but his dad is an asshole he's like a general a war general he's got the medals on and all that and we finally we're dealing with you know this this dad's being an asshole he's demand making all these demands and also if he is this much of like a politician in Russia like how do they have money problems? Good point. Very good one. It's corrupt as fuck dude. This is crazy. Get some money.

But we get Svetlana. Svetti's back. Okay, that was that her? Yeah, that was her. Yeah. She was all dressed up. And dude, fucking she's the goat. I love Svetlana. Dude, so same.

And Oh, actually, I'll save that for later. But the dad thing real quick, that threw me with the like memory stuff. The dementia or whatever. He goes, he goes, your mom, and he was like,

mom's dead. Remember? And I was like, oh, whatever, that's a nothing line. But then he was like, remember I'm at the gala, I'm meeting the minister?

And I was like, oh, shit. Like, that actually was way more intense than I thought. So that was an interesting dynamic. So I'm really liking that. Me too. Like his family stuff.

And then real quick, when he was talking to the minister, there's, I don't know if this was loud enough. Sandra has subtitles on. So I can sometimes, I always tell you this. I can see shit that he's like,

but he goes, they bring up some Russian dude in the in the NHL named Kitchoff and he goes he's like we lost because we did Kitchov's not here. He's chasing all the he's resting chasing the American prizes. So I was like hold on there's another Russian

in the NHL who's dominating and didn't come. Who the fuck is he dude? Crazy work to not come. Yeah absolutely crazy work to not come. Okay. And Spatlanna's dad is a minister. Is the minister? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So he's Putin's son. She's the minister's

daughter. This is like Romeo and Juliette. Oh my God, dude. I need him to, I needed him to marry Shane. I now need him to marry her. But this is insane. Svedi is the goat. And I love the familiarity they establish with like the fact that she's able to step in and like pull him away from his dad. And like, fuck you, dude. I was like, oh, hell yeah. Who was Sasha? Just another one of their friends who I believe, and again, guys, we've not read the books. I believe that's not trying to figure out. I believe Svetlana. Was she like, hey. No, no, no. Well, maybe, maybe. I believe that she knows that he is by and will is kind of experimenting with anyone and is like yeah you're my boy of hooked up with you it's all cool and obviously we have an establishment that sasha is someone that elia has hooked up with before um but we you know we meet him Sasha clearly bad influence yeah that guy like I think he is like a Russian oligarch who's you know he's always just like doing drugs the first frame we see of him is him snorting like a 12 inch line of coke a big lot of coke in in and the in and then lounging the bathtub. That line of coke was even bigger than Elias Cock. Yeah,

which is hard to do. Which is hard to achieve. So impressive. Dude, when Svetlana was talking puck, I have to tell you two and the listeners, I was extremely turned on. That was the horniest. She was like, the Cups wide open this year. Oh my God. She's dropping team games. Deep NHL breakdown. I was like, yo. Like, that is my dog, dude. Holy shit. That was awesome. So that was your horniest moment? Yeah, bro. It might have been. Yeah.

Might have been. Um, two things here that I blew my mind. In this conversation in the bathroom, at one point, Elya says, fuck these games. Crazy. You would never say that. And that's not a knock on the show. It's a knock on Elya. He's clearly dealing with it.

I'm like, you don't care about the Olympics, dude. Like, what's going on? In Sochi. What's going on in your head? Yeah. Like, fuck these games. These are the most important things ever. Crazy.

Sasha. makes a move on Elia, and he says, back off. Well, he also says not here, which I thought was rich coming from him. Well, I thought that was rich coming from you, Rosie, who are fucking blowing dudes at the award show. But dude, he's in Russia, like his dad's right outside. Yeah, yeah. But also, whether it be that's why, or he was thinking about Shane.

And he was like, no, dude, I don't want to hug that with you. Yes, I love that. That made me very happy. I was like, this is cool. So if you have nothing more from Olympics No no now we're in the fucking Ilya era We're in the Elya era We're at the towards the end of the major league hockey season

And we get a Elya is the captain Yeah we're sick they're both captain which I thought was awesome Yep makes sense Ovi and Sid And we get an Elya speech Firing up the boys And This was my one

What is happening that actually this is probably my what the fuck are we doing here award in his speech he screams I want to fuck San Francisco yeah and I was like I was like

he almost has fucked everything so why not start with cities now dude I Sean I couldn't tell if that was like a broken English thing or if that was just a weird choice wasn't there a line earlier on in the episode as well in the Montreal

changing room and somebody says was a Swedish character or something somebody says what broken English like we're gonna fuck them and then someone like makes fun of them because like oh no we don't

it's Rosenoff too I think he's like you're gonna you're gonna fuck Rosenoff and he's like what and he's like you mean fuck with Rosenoff like the dude who invites him to dinner and I'm like

there's a lot of those where they keep being like you call me gay yeah yeah yeah no he's like no relax but yeah I mean

was just, I was dying. I was dying when he says, I want to fuck San Francisco. I hate this speech. And then I wrote, actually it got better. But at the beginning, it's like so him. Yeah, he's like, I don't care how many goals. I have to win. And I was like, dude, this is not how you would ever,

especially being like a teen, or I guess they're probably 21 or two now. But being that young captain, you would be like, and hockey players especially are just like, the boy. Yeah, so I was like, this speech sucks. So yeah, that was kind of funny. But I was like, but I actually like, yeah, or keep going. Keep going.

No, no. It was just, like, the speech was just, it was, again, I loved it. It made me laugh out loud. I was like, I want to fuck Samford. I'm going to say that every time we play something. I want to fuck this team. Yeah. It was amazing.

So we then see Elia and Boston, dude, things are turning up in Boston. First, they were flying jet blue. Now they're winning the cup. Who called it, Stetlana, dude. Come on, you win the cup this year. That is wide open. Did you like the cup? Yes.

I thought it was a cool interpretation of the cup. Me too. Like it was not. not a metal cup. It was more of a traditional trophy with like wood and plaques on it but it looked like the cup. And you presume that that was with the teams

around the side. Yeah, yeah, I was in. I dug it. My favorite moment of the episode here. Ooh. We see the Montreal boys watching at, you know, someone's house,

watching them win. It was, it did appear to be like broad daylight and I was like, midday. What time is this game being played? That's neither here nor there. I thought the zoom in on Shane's face after Ilya is lifting the cup. Best acting in the show.

Oh, nice. Dude, that actor, fuck, I know his name. Everything on his face. It was like pride, seeing a guy that clearly has feelings for, winning, achieving his dream. There was a bit of jealousy in there.

There was a bit of competition in there. But there was also joy. Like, it was fucking a master class of physical. acting. How about right before that when they go, um, uh, there's like three minutes left and they cut to him and his teammate goes like, I can't believe Rosenoff's going to win a cup. Yeah.

And Shane goes, like, he's probably the best. He's the best. You know, and I was like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But that's like, that's a big line from him. Dude, they, they fucking love each other. Like, and as competitors, too. And as hockey players.

But I just thought that the look on Shane's face. I was like, fuck, yeah, dude. Like, that was just great acting. And I felt it. I was like, I'm feeling what the boys are going through right now. It's amazing. So then we get the award show. Yep.

I love awards. And I'm like, they've been nominated the last couple years. I'm actually sad that we've been robbed of three years of awards. Because it's fucking fireworks every year at the award show. So, like, what's been happening? What have we been missing? We get the award show. Nice step up to.

It felt like episode one, the award show was happening in like a TGI Friday's. And this one is at a nice banquet hall. And I was like, hell, yeah, here we go. And we get the bathroom. Bathroom Felicia. Well, first we get the ass. grab. Yes.

During the presentation of the... Did we see it go? I didn't think I saw it. It's like lower back. Yeah. It was more of like a high tension back trace. You know that sense. Shivers down Shane's fine.

You know, Shane was like, oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. So yeah, now we're in the bathroom. Oh, sorry. I wanted to see. I wanted Rosie to do this. He goes, you know how they did the bit?

They did the stand-up bit. Yeah. Let's get selfie because we're good friends here. And he actually took one. Yeah. You could see him. That's right. I wanted him because that's not front facing.

That's just the two of them. I wanted it to be the dick pick. Like I wanted him to just be showing like this to shade. And I was like, oh, that's going to be an all time, all time moment. Yeah. That felt very rosent off. Yes, it sure did. So we get them in the bathroom.

There's a bit of a, Shane's like, dude, like you haven't talked to me in six months. That kind of rattled me. I was like, what do you mean? Dude, this is like the, this is, where I'm talking about, the heartbreaking element of this show is... The Olympics weren't that long ago. Those moments.

Like, the Olympics are in February. This is June. Yeah, whatever. After episode one, I was like, the timelines whatever don't make sense and it doesn't matter. Maybe he doesn't count seeing him up on the, when they go to the figure skating. He goes up, he sees Rosie by himself. So Shane goes up, tries to talk to him.

And for, just because Rosie's having pressure, he's now taking it out on Shane being like, fuck off, go back to your, no, I didn't answer your boring text. Yeah, right. And I guess he didn't answer the text. Yeah. Because Shane says you didn't answer my text. That's the six months, I guess, yeah. Yeah, okay.

So they're in the bathroom. Rosenoff is like, ask me nicely to get on this filthy bathroom floor and suck your dick. That was just, bro. Guys, the risque nature that these two, the charge it shows, it adds to the show is remarkable. I have three things about that. one, Shane,

and dude, I feel for the kid. Because he goes on emotional roller coasters where he is so upset at the beginning of that scene where he's like, dude, what is your fucking problem? You haven't answered a text in six months. And then he's like, please son my dad. I'm like, oh fuck? Like we are all the way back. He's like, I hate you. I never want to speak to you again.

Actually, I'm so deeply in love with you that I will risk it all right here in this bathroom. I'm telling you, dude, this show is a Shakespearean tragedy. Two, incredible restraint from the writers and Rosenoff in this scene because for me, even in the chaos of the show, I was like, you cannot be blowing him in your tuxedo at the bathroom at awards right here. This is fucking outrageous. And then he was like, no, maybe in the hotel room. And I was like, yes.

Nice. Great. Perfect. And then my third takeaway, Rosenoff is incredible. This kid is a shining star. Oh, in every sense of the word. Dude, I was fucking, when he's like, when he's doing like the lean in like ask nicely shit, I was like, dude, this guy is, he's a young Heath Ledger.

When he was dressed up in Russia, in the tucks, I was like, this is a young Heath Ledger. This kid is a fucking megastard. Dude, the hair, the hair slick back. I love it. Oh, my God. And was, when was Brokeback Mountain in Heath Ledger's? I think it was like right after. Was it early?

He did like 10 things ahead about you and then? No, I think it was like after a Knight's Tale. Okay, so he was already pretty big. Yeah. But this kid is on the Heath Ledger Arctic. He does the big gay thing and then now he's going to be a fucking, yeah. He's an absolute star. So we, yes, we now meet in the penthouse, meet in the hotel, loved the lot of windows line.

Dude, and Rosie, like, unbuttoned. Unbuttoned. Isn't he smoking a dart? He's going to think of vodka. Oh, yeah, he's drinking vodka. And he's smoking. I was like, this fucking guy, dude. Holy shit.

He's just the fucking stud, dude. He's an absolute stud. So he goes up there. I love the windows line. Like Shane's like a lot of windows in here. Yeah, that was good. That was really good. I don't care, dude.

So throws him on the bed. and he's like, take off your fucking clothes and he's like, I want to watch you jerk off. They do that. Shane takes off his briefs and throws them at Elia. Massive missed opportunity to sniff the underwear. Agriah is at the same thing.

I can't believe he didn't. I cannot believe he didn't. I couldn't believe he didn't put it in his mouth. Yeah. Everything I know about Elia, he's also drinking vodka. He'd be flossing with those. Dude. I couldn't believe that there was no brief sniff there. Also, one thing I wanted to note, when Shane gets undressed, he folds his clothes again.

Oh, that's awesome. I didn't notice that. And I don't know if you guys saw someone in the comments was like, man, and again, the commenters, please help us here. I think someone mentioned in the books that Shane is autistic, which would like check out with some of his behavioral chats. That's a crazy leaveout. Well, maybe we'll get there.

Oh, oh, okay. And again, I don't know if that was someone's interpretation or if that is in the book. So commenters, help us with that and tell us. But those are little ticks. Because he did that in episode one too Like watching him fold his clothes Nicely before a hookup I'm like I fucking love this guy

Like he's so particular It's amazing But yeah They uh We get that moment Can't believe there's no box or sniff Just you know brutal But

The I felt it was unfair It was a great flirty line About the vodka being a reward Yeah But I feel like Shane did deserve some vodka Before cracking stick in front of him He goes, he goes,

and he goes, no. And I'm like, come on. You've got to get a little, just give him a fucking sweat the beak. Yeah. And then he can go. That felt rude. Also, when he started going,

and he goes, Oh, do you know what it feels like holding the cup? Unbelievable. Incredible chirp, dude. He's like, fuck you. He's just,

and yeah, I love how Shane responds. Oh, dude, that was like, what of my favorite lines the whole episode. He's a shitster. My favorite lines.

shit up. And then are you, I think this is true, but are you always a top or a bottom? Like, is that kind of how that. Because I just want Shane to get a turn and I'm like, I was talking to someone about the show and they pointed something out to me that I can't unsee now. The Montreal Metro logo on the jersey looks like an ass. Dude, the Boston, it's a canon. The Boston Raiders looks like a cop. I actually heard, I think Jacob said something that some other team they had to like take out because it was too, it was like squirting something. And they were like, hey, get rid of that one.

Well, Jacob, the director, creator, has said, yeah, showrunner has said that all of the logos are sexual innuendos, which is fucking brilliant. Amazing. Absolutely brilliant. So Shane with the M metaphor of being a bottom. A bottom. And the cannons, Ilya, the cannon's nine inches long.

He's a nine inch hard top. It's great. So, yeah, so that's how, like, Shane. I think traditionally you are one or the other. And then he just gets blown after, theoretically. Yeah, or you do. you know, or do you come Does it work for you?

Wasn't this like a always sunny episode? Like, well it's a power bottom. Power bottoms? Yeah, yeah, Shane's, I could say Shane being power bottom. Yeah. MVP finals. I mean, MVP final. Elya could be a power bottom too with that ass.

Yeah, holy fuck. He actually probably couldn't be a bottom because you need a 20 inch dick to get it in his butthole because his ass is so huge. Good God. Fucking relax. You're not getting monetized. talking about romance here god so we get hook up another you know horned up montage scene um but but here we finish our episode just with more of the heartbreak dude Shane credit to Shane

trying to connect here he's like asking him about how things are going with Russia and his parents and er's dad and this and that ely is not really having a it, they leave, and then, you know, we get the episode end with the, just the heartbreaking text thing. I mean, see you next season. Delete, delete, delete into we didn't even kiss. Shattering. I wrote, not sending see you next season broke my heart. Like, I saw him type that, and I was like, oh, my God.

I literally wrote, that just broke my heart. And then he went, we didn't even kiss. That destroyed me. I'm being dead assed. I was like, oh my God. It was heartbreaking. It was awful. It was actually heartbreaking.

But episode and great run. We got Olympics. We got someone winning the cup. I don't know who won MVP. Did they say that? I wrote this. I was like, who won? Because they did their little bet.

And also missed opportunity early in the episode. He goes, if you, like they were texting. Yeah. And he goes, if you do this, this happens. And Shane goes, what if the other thing happens? I forget what it was. And Romanov goes, same thing. Kiss face.

Rosenov. And I was, Rosinoff, yeah. And then he goes, in the bathroom, he goes, if you win MVP, or if I win MVP, I'll fuck you or whatever. Yeah, yeah. And then Shane goes, what if I win? And I was like, same thing. Yeah. They took the callback joke.

And they didn't do it. And I was like, fuck. But anyway, I was like, who won? But when he walks up to the suite and he's in the window looking like James Bond. Shane goes, congratulations. Oh, yeah. That's right. He did say that.

Good catch. Good catch. All right. So we'll get into our awards for the episode, starting up with the Horned Up Award. Sean, horniest moment of the up. Oh, after the award ceremony, watching them? What's your phrase crack and stick? Yeah, crap and stick.

Fucking gnarly. I felt bad for Shane during this scene, even though it's like, he didn't get his vodka. I know. And so it was, that's, and the power dynamic made it a little bit more horned up than the scenes previously, which seemed more kind of like. 100%. Same horned up for me. Watching him jerk off. I was like, this is fucking...

Yep. Yeah. I went, horniest for me was Svetlana talking puck. The horniest moment of the show was the ass eating. With that extra roll, I was like, oh, whoa, dude. That was crazy. I fucking loved that. All right, next award, what are we doing?

What the fuck are we doing here? What the fuck are we doing? I have such a good one here. Let me go last. Okay. Oh. All right. All right, I'll go first.

Again, not necessarily a hockey thing, but I could not stop thinking about the fact that Shane has an iPhone in 2012 and a Blackberry in 2014. I fucking clocked that too. That was insane. Dude, so funny. He went back to BlackBerry? He went back to Blackberry. Maybe he got a deal. Maybe he's on a sponsorship or something. That is fucking hilarious. I was like, what the fuck is going on?

Yeah, I noticed that too. Because in the first episode with the YouTube stuff, I was like, what phones are these guys using? That is hilarious that you said that. Okay, Dan, what's yours? What did I say earlier? I was like that might be my what the fuck. Oh yeah, you did. His speech. I want to fuck. Yeah, I think that's probably it.

I want to fuck San Francisco. Was my what? Okay, here's mine, dude. This is insane. And again, this might be a subtitle thing. So tell me if you guys didn't even hear this. During the scene that you loved, I thought you were about to say this earlier. When Aelia is lifting the cup and they are pushing in on Shane's face, you can hear the announcer still on TV.

And I was getting it in subtitles. This is the line. Keep in mind, dude, Ilya Rosenoff is just won the cup and is probably five days away from winning MVP. And they said like, or before that, they're like, Rosenoff has 10 goals in six playoff games in the final or something, which is like insane shot. Like that would be fucking lunatic.

I could have said that as like the what are we doing here because these shows always go so intense. And I'm like, just fucking say he's good, dude. this says on TV and Rosenoff has won the cup quote the captain did every absolutely everything in these playoffs he's he's the first line center the captain did absolutely everything in these playoffs leading his team in blocked shots and shots against I'm like literally what are you talking about like I don't even know I don't even know what shots against means are you talking about the other team like I think I think it literally just means shots four I think I think it literally just means shots four or You mean shots four? It means shots. And also, so he is, he's leading the team in shots and block shots, which a center leading team of block shots would be remarkable. Very remarkable.

And also, like, how about gold? Did he score? Did he get points? Like, to highlight those two things, those two meaningless fucking things in the immediate cup celebration of the league MVP. I was like, that is the most bat-shit line written in a television show. That was wild. It also comes back to the whole like, oh, the player is the team. Yeah.

I think where no one else, like goalies don't matter. Like, no one else matters. It's just the captains of each team is the only people care about. Yeah. Did he score? He goals. Wild. Okay.

And then do I love this moment? For me, I harped on it a lot, was the Shane reaction to him winning. Yes. I just, again, thought the acting was great. I thought it made me. that was my moment of feeling the most the connection between these two and I was like holy hell.

Mine was the ending. We didn't even kiss. Bro, that actually, I said that was an incredible ending and that was my favorite moment of the series. We watched two apps. That's my favorite moment of the series so far

and 100% my like, I want to keep watching this show. Yeah. Where I was like, oh, dude, that was devastating. What do you got? To me, Rosie's the villain. I'm looking forward. to like the same thing like the next episode I feel like the relationship is going to be exploited

by Rosie to help him get away with the additional pressure to start winning more and now he's really kind of putting his head into the game so I'm excited for where that's going to and I totally agree the ending for me made the entire episode with the we didn't even kiss because I think Shane's starting to realize like wait a minute I I might be on a different level to where Rosie is in how I'm thinking about this relationship. I'm worried about next step because in the bathroom scene or one of the scenes, Sandra was like, oh, they're going to get walked in on. And I was like, no, that feels like an F3 thing.

Yeah, too early. Yeah. And so I'm scared. I'm scared for next step. I'm scared for Shane's heart. Yeah. Same. You're so right, Sean.

And again, I don't think Rosie's a bad guy, but I do think he's being too cavalier with Shane's heart. And that makes me scared. So that's our reaction to. Episode two of heated rivalry. Unbelievable. We're going to just keep ripping the show. I can't wait. We'll do episode three next episode.

Yeah. Fantastic.