Empty Netters Podcast - D3: Not Making Varsity After Winning A Gold Medal Is Humiliating | 130

Episode Date: August 28, 2024

After taking down the Hawks and Iceland, next up is the big bad varsity team. The Ducks head off to prep school and the boys are joined by Liam Cullagh to see if it's exactly like their New England Prep School experiences. NEW EPISODES EVERY MONDAY & WEDNESDAY!  SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuf52MHW1O7guPMzsMvv2kA FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/empty.netters/?hl=en FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@empty.netters (0:00) - Intro (2:44) - Breaking Down The Plot (1:14:05) - Awards Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ice is ready and we are back with another special edition episode of the Empty Ners podcast brought to you by BetMGM. We are joined by our dear friend Liam Kola. Thanks for having me guys. It's just a pleasure. The pleasure is ours. Pleasure to be here. We are today going to finish this trilogy and break down D3, The Mighty Ducks.

And we have another virgin of the Mighty Ducks films. You have never seen any of these. No. It is Tuesday today. When did you watch one? Last week. Okay. And then last night I was like, oh, fuck.

I forgot about two. I was going to watch three. So I watched a YouTube video recap on two, which I feel like I got it. I'm sure you did. Yeah. I'm sure you did. And then jumped right into three. Last night.

Yeah. Boom. What do you think, we briefly discussed this? What do you think your excuse is being a Boston kid who is familiar with and a fan of hockey never having seen these movies. I don't know, and I feel like it's almost not my fault, because someone should have... I knew about it.

I was aware of the movie the whole time, just never watched it. I knew about how awesome it was, all of it. So you're saying a hockey buddy of yours, should have been like, you know, wash his movie. I think I put it on his parents a little bit, too. Like, how was that not... My dad's a big hockey fan,

but I would go out to say that my dad's definitely never seen Mighty Ducks, and he probably doesn't know what it is. Doesn't know what it is? Yeah. He's not really tapped into the movie. It would be... one of the funnier moments of my life

if we got Liam's dad and we were like you know remember how the Anaheim team used to be the Mighty Ducks and he's like yeah yeah we're like based on a Disney movie if he was like you're shitting me I would fucking piss me yeah and I didn't know that either oh so that scene in this movie

you were like holy shit yeah that's actually kind of cool that is actually really cool there's a part about that I want to discuss I'm not going to jump ahead so but yeah that's awesome yeah and I actually had a thought allow me to jump ahead the

that Eden Hall ducks thing they that should be like a reverse retro of theirs like it should say oh wow

yeah in the league they should like the pro team like the pro team like if they because like the teams do like those reverse retro jersey now it's like it should say like

Eden Hall ducks on the pro team's jersey like one game of season that is a great call and you'd be like yo dude totally that would be sick

before we jump into the plot Did you like the first one? Yes. It was great, right? It was great. I love the third one too. Yeah. Nice. Wow.

Perfect setup. Let's jump into the plot of D3, the Mighty Ducks. Before we even get into it, I want to say the first thing I thought, the score of these movies does not get enough attention. It's tremendous. Great score. Like really good, uplifting movie music. I found myself humming it for hours after I watched the movie. What's the instrument that just plays throughout the whole thing?

It's like a flute and a horn. coming together. It's a horn of some sort. Yeah, it's like, I don't want to go, I don't want to be a snob and say that I know it's a French horn. Yeah. But it wouldn't shock me if it was. I was, Sandra, I was watching last night and Sandra was like, a lot of horns in 90s scores. And I was like, yeah. Sports movies in general, Coach Carter. Yeah. Yeah. We are Marshall. Horn. All of it, all of it, just uplifting. I wonder if that's like a thing. Remember the Titans, miracle horn? Posers, no. Yeah. Like when they get a sports job, they're like, get the horns out. Yeah. You know. Yeah, definitely. It sets the thing.

they talk about. So our movie opens with a great mini montage of specifically Gordon and Charlie moments. Like really hammering home D1, D2. We get Gordon and Charlie. New credits, by the way.

Great relationship there. A little bit, you're right. Long, long. Opening all credit sequence. Quite long. Really. And I thought after the first emotional scene with Charlie and Gordon,

them going to like right back into it's like they pull you into this emotional scene they're like produced by I'm back out I'm back out yeah yeah you would think this movie had the cast of a Christopher Nolan film based on the emphasis they put on the cast and the production staff

unbelievable stuff so we then get a implication that Gordon Bombay went to Eden Hall which is a insane implication given the plot of movie one like we're pretty much told in movie one that he misses that shot that shootout attempt

and gives up and never plays again but it turns out he actually went to like the most elite prep school in the country. With more state championship banners than I've ever seen hang in one rank. Is that a real school or a fake school? It's a fake school, but I believe it is based off of Shattuck St. Mary, which is like... Kind of, but Eden Prairie is a place and like Blake is their fierce rival. So like Eden Hall and they play Blake in that game. So I think it's like Shattacks meets Eden Prairie.

Yeah, based off something. So we see the team accepts their scholarships in their Ducks jerseys, which I can't tell if that's... insane or awesome. They basically, Eden Hall has taken on the entire Team USA Ducks team and has given them scholarships to be the freshman JVT.

Which I thought it was weird that this is a theme throughout but it comes up in this moment where somebody's like it's a publicity stunt like they only gave them scholarships because like to boost the school but I'm like they are sick though theoretically

like wouldn't you just want to go teams like fighting over them to give them like what publicity is it. I don't understand that at all either. It's odd. So we see Eden Hall bringing in team ducks. Dude, can I actually say something about this?

When I used to watch this movie, I used to think this was the first massive glaring plot hole because I was like, this is so dark that they all go to the school. But dude, then there's some kids, dude, like on the U.S. national development team that this past year all went to BC and just like our boys. And like they were aligned at the development program. Now they're the freshman boys on BC. they like set hockey scoring records. They're all drafted like in the top 10.

And I was like, that was actually sick. That you guys were like, we should just play together. So when I watch this movie with context now, I'm like, you should do that. Like every team that is nasty in people, you should be like, we should all go to the same prep school. That would be sick. So I, pull out hole removed.

That was actually money. Yeah. Pretty wild. Also, the cast looking actually like freshman in high school was nice. Yeah. It was nice to see. Cool, right? I was like, okay, they do look like freshmen.

And then you get to the jocks. And I'm like, yeah, but Docs should look 30 in this movie. Yep, yep. But them looking actually like freshmen helped. Great call. Today's day and age, breath of fresh air. It really was. I mean, like, that's really nice.

No 5 o'clock shadows on the kids. Just like, real. Just like bulging muscles for a 14-year-old. Great call. What are we doing here? But we see them accept these scholarships. And yes, Liam, you're right. There is a overwhelming feeling of bullshit from certain members of Eden Hall.

Can't believe the audacity that these gold medal winning world. juniors players could get a scholarship to play at this school. That's very interesting. We then learned that Gordon will not be coming back to coach the team because he has been given the player personnel job by the junior Goodwill games. Sick gig, by the way. I didn't get that at all. I just don't think it's a real thing. He said, and he also said for the entire tournament. He said for the world, and I was like, you are USA though. So don't, I don't know why you're recruiting in Sweden. Interesting. They can't play for us. That the writers and producers of this movie were like, we need something plausible for Gordon. They could have made him like an

HL coach. They could have done anything like that. But they said he's the director of player personnel for the entire world, which is not a job. Dude, he should have made, you missed D2, Liam, but like at the end of D1, you know, he's like, I'm going to go to the AHL. Yeah. The opening scene of D2 is him in the HL and the announcers are like, this is the best HL player we ever seen. He will be called up to the NHL next week. It's incredible. What a story. And then someone like two, or no, he just gets checked, but it hurts his knees. He hurts, isn't he? And so he comes home.

And the only reason he's, like, coaching the ducks in D2 is because he's home via injury. And I'm glad they didn't do this, but it does seem weird to me. Like, in real life, he would go back this year. He'd be like, I'm going to go back to the HL because I was literally a week away from the NHL before I just hurt my knee. Unless he's, like, incapacitated. But he doesn't seem incapacitated. Yeah.

I mean, like, a 29-year-old who just got an ACL, you'd imagine. Yeah. I can see him being like, I'm done. I'm hanging it up. But again, he's a coach. Just say he's like an HL coach now. if you want him to not go. But we get the first glimpse of Charlie

being super cunty. Yeah. This motherfucker. Holy moly, lean. What an attitude. What an attitude. Also, can I say something? Yeah.

Because at a certain point, he's still, I'm deep into the movie, and he's still the most unlikable son of a bitch I've ever seen on screen. Yep. And I stopped. We're an hour and ten minutes into this movie, and he still sucks.

Dude, I had a similar note, bro. That was like, I can't believe. You're running out of time to redeem him. And they did run out of time to redeem her in my eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, Charlie just starts out hot and never cools off. I love you, mom.

What's crazy too is like, Charlie says to Gordon, he's like, you're bailing on us? When Gordon's like, no, I've got an amazing job. Also, this is a prestigious hockey prep school. We can assume that they already have a coach. So it's not a guarantee that Gordon's the coach. And Charlie is just so, so pissed off. And his line is, Gordon's like, listen, I understand. what you're going through, which I think is too much credit to Charlie.

Understand, like, this is the opportunity of a lifetime, and Charlie goes, you obviously don't even have a clue and walks off. So I don't know what Charlie's going through. Can I say one thing for Charlie, though? And dude, I'm on your guy's side. Charlie's a bitch, all movie. And like, this isn't an incredible opportunity for Bombay, even though it's a made-up job. Theoretically, it's like player personnel for junior hockey. And I'm like, cool. And he didn't want to be a skate sharpener. You know, he wanted something bigger out of his life. so I'm glad he's in the hockey world. But the implication to me was that Bombay did sell all the ducks

on going to Eden Prairie or Eden Hall because he would come coach. Like that's what it sounds. Like Charlie's reaction to me makes it feel like Bombay was like, let's all go do this. And then now he's being like, bro, I got this job. I think the only reason you're saying that is because of the next scene here is we get a little bit of a montage of the ducks on campus. And we see this Harvard-level campus.

in here we get some exposition that Portman is not coming because and Fulton goes Bombay bailed so he bailed. Yep. But that's really the only line that implies whatsoever. And Charlie's reaction, which is bananas otherwise. Which is bananas. Where is that conversation taking place by the way? Like a random pond. Why are they both, they're both dressed nicely?

Yep. The first one. Yeah, yeah. They're like, you're not coming. Liam, which is a perfect segue into, yes. Like, I believe it's right after they're all wearing their jerseys accepting a scholarship. Oh, okay. But cut to the rest of the ducks are walking around on campus.

And by the way, we have a great moment where Keenan Thompson goes, not a lot of black people on this campus. And Julie just changes the subject immediately to the new coach. Another great Keenan quote from that exact scene. They're walking around and someone says to Russ Keenan, goes, all you do is watch TV and he goes, shoot, that's the safest thing to do in my hood. Shoot, how did I miss that line? I was like, all right.

That's the funny. 96, 1996. He is from South Central. He is from South Central. So we then get all these ducks on campus. We learned that the captain of the varsity team's dad is going to have the board revoke their scholarships, which, I don't, is that a thing in high school? I don't think so. Yep.

I think that's kind of a crazy little tidbit of information there. But this is where we get into the other ducks, Charlie Goldberg. I think Averman, Fulton, who are doing another rollerblading montage. How did Charlie go from on campus in a shirt and tie to the middle of the streets of Minnesota rallying up the ducks again? I think it was like, I think it's like a day student thing. Like this prep school for the Minnesota kids is like right here. So Charlie could be a day student, but like Russ is living there.

Yeah. Or whatever. That was my. Another big thing in this rollerblade thing where Goldberg's going down. but also for the rest of the movie continuity errors. Holy shit. There's one where he's going backwards

and behind him is a street with traffic going by. They cut away, cut back, the street's gone. He's just the alley's longer now. And it kept happening where I'm like, oh, he's going into traffic. Nope. Somehow he's not now. And then finally Charlie gets him and they are going into traffic again.

Dude. And then these two go across a busy freeway overpass jump clean over a six foot railing and then land on the street below with the rest of the... Into a perfect flying V. Yeah. Also... Dude, that was preposterous.

Insane. Also, so obvious when it's a stunt double skating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. They don't even try. It's so evident. And, like, no offense to the actor, but, like, the stunt double has miraculously lost 45 to 50 pounds.

Yeah. And you're just like, okay, that's not Goldberg. Um, okay, I had a couple, uh, things here, Dan, with that. The jump was insane. This is kind of harsh, dude, but like, and this is a, the problem will be the whole movie, but Charlie is horrible in D1.

Right? And he makes the penalty shot, but even when they pick him, they're like, no, let bank, or no, he banks him, but they're like, let someone else shoot it, let Jesse shoot it. But Bombay's like, let him finish what he started. He had the breakaway, like, whatever. He's been practicing the triple deek. He scores. In D2, he takes himself out of the gold medal game

because they have a roster spot issue, and he's like, I was, I was a better coach than a player. Like, let me not play. So then in this movie, and we'll into this, but like his fucking ego in this movie, when I'm like, you have blown for two movies, but more importantly and more specifically, where did he get that green duck shirt with a C on it? Because he made it. He's not the captain in D1, and then in D2 they have a different jersey. So I'm like, did you customize a throwaway line, dude?

Your duck jersey, and you're wearing it to the first day of school, you prick. Yeah. That is insane, dude. He's never named captain by the team. Literally Gunner Stahl in the handshake line goes, Good work, Captain Duck. When he's so bad, he's a coach. And he's talking to the girl in his Duck's jersey on the first day of school.

And she goes, what are you, a jock or something? He goes, yeah, I'm on the Huck team. He's literally wearing a personalized hockey jersey. There's a name on it. It's unbelievable. Linda, got to clean it up. Oh, dude, that's crazy. We get into school.

We've got the kids on campus. The dean shows them about Brazilian fire ants and how it's a community. Awesome. Really good stuff. Awesome. Good speech. Awesome. The history teacher after that.

Oh. Standing on the shoulders of giants. I was like, this is fucking unbelievable. Such good plot juice with the fire ants. Oh, yeah. You see the plot. They're like, these are Brazilian fire ants. I'm like, wonderful.

We'll ever see those again? There's a couple of things. A couple of before their times moments in this scene where we're seeing all the kids in school. Number one, Luis, hitting on the varsity guy's girlfriend. Wheeling. Dealing. This kid.

That's Benny the Jet, by the way. This movie, yeah, that is Benny the Jet. This scene, I'll wait and come back there. There's another scene where it gets worse in the cafeteria. That's the one I'm talking. Yeah, yeah, we'll get to that. Don't worry. This one, he's just like leaning up against the lockers.

Dude, Austin Matthews has been exposed by this movie for me. Whoa. Because his whole style is just Luis Mendoza. Luis is walking around in like big baggy pants, a soccer jersey, an earring. the slick back hair. Like that's Austin Matthew's whole lie there. Benny the Jet ahead of his time. Holy shit.

Luis Mendoza ahead of his time. And then the other thing is Linda, Charlie Conway's girl, 1996, lobbying to get the name Warriors changed. Yeah. I flagged that too. Woke. I was like, what the fuck?

Woke. Extremely woke. Also, my high school's name is the Warriors stilt. Yeah, yeah. Warriors is fun. I don't know why that's bad. But it's great when Charlie's like, well, come on.

We got the Braves. We got the Redskins. We got the Indians. and I'm looking back at it now, I'm like, damn. I hope no one in the MLB sees that because the Braves are going to be like, fuck. We're going to get fucking pressured into change. Dude, I got something in here before we get to that first practice.

The varsity boys, we meet them. Obviously, all in their jackets. So I got my Exeter varsity jacket on right now. The varsity boys are tough. They are tough, tough cookies, dude. Like, the intro is like, first of all, they're state champs. And then everything that you'd expect. It's like lunches.

That was my thing. I saw that. I go, I want to make a sketch about jocks and movies taking kids' lunches. We're going to get to that point because that whole scene is crazy. Oh, my God, dude. Again, you're getting too horny. No, they take the lunch in the first scene, too. No, they don't.

Yeah, they do. It's down here. So first, before that, we get to the Ducks first practice. So the Ducks come out there. This is an immediate moment of this team, they're so gung-ho on being the ducks, and yet they come out in their practice in the most rag-tag collection of jerseys you've ever seen. like Julie the cat's got a humane jersey on

Averman's got a Minnesota jersey on I think Goldberg has maybe his ducks jersey on but it's just absolute mayhem they still haven't met their coach which is insane Dwayne starts rounding them up with a fucking lasso yet again

and then boom we get Coach O'Ryan I didn't realize until looking at the credits this is something that I just found funny I always thought this man's name because we're in a hockey movie was O apostrophe Ryan it is Orion like Orion's belt.

I saw that do. Which is pretty sick. I was like, oh my God. So Orion comes in hot with a message of two-way hockey. He's like, you guys, I know you can score. Let's see if you can play defense. He yells at Kenny for doing a triple axle, finally. Kenny Wu finally gets told by a coach, what the fuck are you doing out here?

Which is just amazing. Kids come in the locker room, and this is one of my favorite parts. The kids come in the locker room after, and they come in tired as fuck. sucking wind. I think Russ Tyler says something about like, he's like, I need to lay down for like a week. The only bit of practice we saw was them doing shootout drills. Yeah. So, like, they're trying to instill to us that this coach is this, like, tyrant coach.

Captain Blood. And what we saw was just shootouts. And Goldberg getting lit up like a Christmas thing. Like a bitch. Unbelievable. But the one thing in this scene that I just could not believe. This locker room sucks. Yeah, fair.

ball. Bummer for these kids. But here's the big one. Coach O'Ryan says you need to have a C average to play on this team. He doesn't believe in that. He thinks it needs to be a B average. That's already insane. But he then follows that up saying, you get 15 minutes in this locker room to get out of here and then go do your homework. Dude, of all the unrealistic plot points in these mighty ducks hockey movies, a coach being like you have to be out of the locker room in 15 minutes, That is horrible. Dan, horrible. There's two dudes you played prep school hockey.

I can assure you the majority of my time at prep school was spent in the hockey locker room. And we would chill there after and like, I take 20 minutes to get undressed. I used to bring meals into the locker room and eat there, hang for like two hours and then get ready for practice. What I was thinking too was this is a high-end prep school where hockey seems to be the focus. They don't have a girls hockey team. Yeah, yeah, right. In Minnesota. They have one...

Liam, we don't talk about that in these movies. Connie and Julie the Cat just on this team, getting dressed and changed in the locker room. No one cares. And yeah, just apparently no girls team. Very interesting. Very interesting.

And this is whatever, but you know how in Friday Night Lights the TV show, we follow like five dudes, right? But every practice, there's like fucking 40 guys out there because it's a fucking football team. It always blows my mind how there's just eight ducks. And though I guess this is the team. Like when they come in the locker room scenes,

I'm like, you couldn't have grabbed 10 extras. Yeah, it's wild. Because I'm like, there's eight of them. What are we doing here? There are two of them are goalies. Yeah. That didn't really hit me until right now. That makes no sense.

They can't put out. And also, there's no discussion of like who plays where. Like Portman and Fulton played defense, but otherwise there's like no defense. Dude, and every time they change in the movie, Dan, like later in scenes, they just yell like one name. They're like, Fulton change. And I'm like, because you're running eight guys. It's like a beer league on Wednesday.

It's insane. So in that locker room scene, we also learned that Banks is playing varsity, brutal shakeup. Not a lot of screen time for Adam Banks. Yeah, he gets killed in this movie. Gets killed. Goldberg is the backup, and Charlie has had his C ripped off his jersey. Yep. We then get our next moment of but-hurt Charlie.

Hans is back. Wait, wait, before Hans, a few things on that, real quick. Insane to pick, like, that was a 20-minute practice. And he's like, here are the lines, and Banks, you're on varsity. And I'm like, what? Like, what happened? Just crazy stuff. And two, I will say,

fucking Orion is right to Charlie there. Like when he's like, dude, I don't, first of all, I don't know when Bombay made you Captain Charlie. Stop running your mouth. But second of all, even if he did, Orion goes, this is my team now, dude. Like, I don't give a shit what you think. And everyone's freaking.

Even the other ducks are like, but that's your job, Charlie. They made Dwayne so dumb in this movie. Like, he can't understand. Dwayne has gone full Kevin Maloney's office in this movie. He is like legitimately. But Charlie, I thought you were the captain. I couldn't tell if he was doing a bit.

Yeah, what the fuck? Because he was doing a bit to the coach kind of. Yeah, right, right. And then he would just continue to do this. His friends. I'm going to break my own rule and jump ahead later when they're on the bus and find out about their scholarships. And Dwayne's like, Russ, what just happened? Russ is like, let me put it in words you can understand.

Adios, amigo. And you see Dwayne sit back and go, audios. Yeah, he mouths it. Yeah. I'm like, what? This kid is fucking sip. So, yeah, I'm kind of on O'Ryan side here where I'm like, Charlie can fucking chill out.

Yeah. Captain TBD. Somebody fucking hit this kid, dude. Yeah. I mean, Charlie's the worst. Slat this kid in the teeth, well course. So Hans is back. Charlie goes and talks to Hans. Hans shares that Orion left the North Stars

when he was still in his prime, so he's not this washed up guy, teaches Charlie that he needs to be open to learn new things, just like, classic Hans messaging. And Charlie's like, fucking whatever, dude, and just bails. So, like, he's not even listening

to the good voices of reason in this world. Now we get to the cafeteria, interior guys. Dining Hall. Varsity Hockey is literally, to your point, Liam, Liam, stealing lunches. And why does Kenny Wu have bagged lunch? Kenny Wu is living on campus. Yeah, he's not a day student.

He's from San Francisco. He is not a day student. So I don't know why he has bagged lunches. Who's making those lunches? We got him, which is in his dorm room. He's like in his dorm room. During study hall, he goes to the grocery store because, you know, meal plan's expensive. And he comes back and he's making Sangoes, Good for him, smart kid.

There's been a theme, Liam, with the first two breakdowns of this movie. These movies are way hornier than they have business being. Like we've got horny coach Bombay in a bunch of the movies, horny team Iceland in the second movie. In this scene, we see Luis Mendoza heading on the varsity group, the cheerleaders again. Yep. And drops a line that he says all he needs is five minutes after school

and then he'll be the happiest man on earth. Which the self-awareness there I can appreciate it. Appreciate it. Because he's probably a virgin. Yeah. Miami kid though. Louisiana kid. But he's 14. He's gotten head before.

He's gotten head for sure. At least. Yeah, okay, so that's probably it. Yeah. He's gotten popped off, but he's like, dude. He has the confidence of a 14-year-old who's gotten sucked before. Yeah. Yes.

Which is, you think you're God. So what do you think about that wheel session? Well, it's not finished until he then crawls under the table and is getting upskirt shots, dude. This is a kid's movie. Kids movie of him against their knowledge, these girls' knowledge, looking up their skirts and then breaks the fourth wall to look at the camera and go, like, nice, right? What I'm doing is sick, right?

You guys wish you were here? And I was watching this like, yes, I do. Is this, do they break the fourth wall ever in the entire trilogy? Dude, I almost brought this up. No, the only thing I'll say is I almost brought this up in D2. Right before with the first Iceland game, Averman is doing a pretend interview with Goldberg. And he's like, he's like, Greg Goldberg, I'm here with Greg Goldberg. How do you feel?

And Goldberg's like, we're going to, we're the best team ever. And then the ref's like, all right. And Averman goes like this. all right, cut it to like the camera and then like static appear. It's like as if for camera cut. And I remember being like such a crazy decision that like they pretended

we were doing a documentary all of a sudden. But that's the only semi-fourth wall break until that moment. And like even that scene is more like they're playing around to practice. But yeah, like this is a fourth wall break that is like hey if any of you kids are about to go off to prep school, by the way, this is the man. There'll be a lot of co-eds here. Crawl under tables and look up their skirts. Wild, wild decision.

Dude, this. you're probably about to say this. Do you know what? This is immediately followed up by. Well, the only thing I had written down next was Goldberg, who has been replaced by Julie, then makes a decision to fat and Julie up so just gives her a bunch of desserts. Yep. And Julie the cat Gaffney looking, again, no disrespect, at morbidly obese Greg Goldberg, who's then stuffing and Claire's down her throat, being like, I'll be your nutritionist. And she's like, nice, thanks, Goldberg. I'm like,

Goldberg was not morbidly obese I looked like that when I was a kid I don't know Liam he's pretty fat there's some scenes that movie where he is like hanging over a couple of boys couple of boys are big in that movie Russ dude but I was going to say

that and maybe I'm just fucking too torqued up myself but the Luis upskirt scene directly followed by Julie deep throading in Eclare with white cream coming out of both ends I was like Oh, I didn't. I can't believe we're doing this.

This is so insane. Like, literally, she's like, like, there's 10 circular donuts on that table, on the plate. Yeah. And Goldberg's like, try this one. And it's like, after an upskirt with a literal cut to audience, verbal nod of positivity. Like, dude.

One of the producers of this movie is a real fucking creepazoid. I'll just say that. Yeah, 100%. So we then go to the next practice. Julie's puking. Yep. And we've got Coach O'Ryan teaching the kids to play defense. And Chris, to your point, this is when we get our first real glimpse at the arrogance of Charlie.

When Charlie gets torched on D and O'Ryan's like, dude, what are you doing? Charlie screams at him and says, I'm not a defenseman, I'm a score. We've seen Charlie Conway score one goal in the history of these movies. He scores once in the whole, uh, or sorry, he ends up scoring against the Blake team. He scores three, but up until this moment, he scored one goal in Mighty Ducks history. So really, really interesting. I'm a scorer. It was a penalty shot, too.

Like, you didn't even score in the run of play. Like, you needed a. allocated breakaway. So Charlie gets benched at practice, which is a really wild move. Like, you literally sits on the bench. And there's one thing, before the end of this scene, the one thing I noticed,

did you guys notice that on their jerseys and helmets, it says JVy? I didn't notice the helmets too. I, like, I don't, this is another one of the things where the producers of this movie, I'm like, why, why did you think that they needed to be, like, yeah, in case anyone was wondering,

we are the JV? That's not a real thing, though. You don't have JV. God. No, dude. God, no. Like, they would say E.H or E.E.H. Or Eidon Hall. So that was wild.

But then we get Coach O'Ryan's confidence speech, which I actually thought was kind of gas. Yeah. Good speech. Great speech. Some really good lines in there, like talking about life when you have the puck versus not having the puck. I was like, whole movie, this guy's on the ball. He's dialed in, dude. Literally, I told you at the top, I don't remember this movie that well.

I remember, maybe we weren't recording it. I can quote D1 and D2 back to you. I do not, admittedly, when I saw this, I was like, oh, I don't remember this movie as well as I thought. I used to hate Coach O'Rine. my brain. Yeah. He is the fucking man. Oh, he's an amazing coach. He's extremely patient and just the least insecure coach I've ever seen in my life. Truly, Liam. And for the first time in the Mighty Ducks franchise, we are seeing a coach with actual like somewhat hockey. He's like, your stupid pee-wee tricks don't work, dude. Literally him saying two-way hockey is the first

legitimate hockey term used in these movies. So I'm like, okay, this guy gets it. He's a good job. I flagged his speech too, Dan. Like legitimately, I was like, this speech is money. It's a careful but not too, what is it? Not careless, not too careful either. And I'm like, let's fucking go. It's a great line. It's a great line. God damn, O'Ryan.

It's inspiring. So we then get a scene of Charlie wheeling Linda at the bus stop. This, I think, is the movie's first attempt at trying to make us connect with Charlie. And he's like, I like pizza. I like music. I like this. And I hate everything about this school. And now, again, as an adult watching it, I'm like, this school rocks.

Wonderful school. What's wrong with it? you, dude. And, like, Linda being like, I don't like it here either. I'm like, why? They're anxy teens. What is your fucking problem? And then when, I don't know if you're about to get to this, but when they get on the bus and he takes a moment outside the bus and goes,

not even like one, just go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have multiple. Because, like, she's like maybe decided to get a Coke with him. Yeah, she says, let's keep talking. But here's the thing that I want to talk about, Liam. Why the fuck are they getting on a public bus? Yeah, where are you going? Where are they? Didn't even think about that. Yeah. Again, like

this is a prestigious prep school. You don't leave campus. Ever. Certainly when you're 14 years old. You'd have to fill out several forms. Yes. If you were going to take a public bus off campus, I can promise you that. And they just waltz on to a public bus.

Really? Headed to the library. So now we get our first. Wait, I just want to say, respect the movie in that moment with Charlie. And I knew they had to, but Charlie telling her there's a pro team named after us, I actually think justify some of the duck's arrogance. Because, like, they are such pricks. But I liked that they were like,

The actual NHL made a pro team off our fucking pee-wee team. Like, I would think we're the shit, too. They're pretty famous, right? Yeah, totally. So, yeah, okay, that makes more sense. That actually, I liked that decision. It's like the confidence and arrogance Harry Potter should have had. Yes, dude.

It's almost too much of a throwaway line. Agreed. When they're just running their mouths about duck this, ducks that, they should be like, we literally had a NHL team named after us. That's how sick. Charlie, so much more defendable. when you have it through that. Or at least understandable.

Like he's, I think there's no defense for him. He's such a twat. He's his twat. But I hear you. What might have helped him even more is if everyone, the jocks and all the cool kids were shitting on the ducks, but not Charlie,

because they were like, we want to bring you on a varsity. Yeah, yeah. They're nice to the really good kids. Yep. And then let his ego build. Let that split him with the ducks. Instead of his own arrogance splitting him from the team.

Yeah. Insane. Let, like, fuel it. Throw fucking wood on that fire. Don't just have to be burning in the wood. with nothing. Truly. And it's,

you're so right to Liam, like the whole, like hour, 10 minutes in, you're still like, this guy sucks. Dude, the whole movie.

Is it crazy? The little moments they try to throw in there to make us like him, like that flirting moment. And then like, there's that one moment at practice with Fulton when he's being like,

this place sucks and Fulton's like, come on, dude. Like, let's just play. And Charlie's like, keep your knees up, skate. And I'm like, are you teaching this kid to skate,

dude? He's at this academy. I imagine he knows how to skate at this point. So all those moments. I'm like Charlie sucks, dude. This doesn't work. Crazy.

We now get our first game against the Blake freshman bears. We got Rick Riley, the prick captain of varsity's dad, already talking to the dean being like, we're gassing these fucking kids if this doesn't go well. I love the folly in this movie. Excuse me, the folly in this movie is insane. Yeah. Like this is the first Ducks movie where it literally sounds like sword fighting when they're just in warmups. Like it's truly like blades sharpening against each other. unbelievable stuff, but they're skating around, and they are shit pumping this team.

Would you let, would you have left them quack? No. Fuck no. Absolutely not. They are not the fucking ducks. When he was like, stop. I was like, yeah, stop. Come on.

Yeah. Stop. Is there a duck on your jersey? No. So yes, completely agree. Charlie scores immediately. What's great, too, is Charlie scores and Rick's dad is like, fuck. Like, again, this guy's on the board of this school, and they're,

team scores and he's like, God, fucking damn. Like, just these such insane villains in these movies, it's unbelievable. We get a Dwayne vintage goal doing his little

stick tricks. We got a Fulton vintage goal with his clapper. And I don't know if any of you guys notice this. Fulton scores that goal, hits the kid in the glove, he spins around

and tosses it in the net. A little bit of ADR when they're all huddled together celebrating, you hear Fulton go, yeah, spun that dude. I heard that, Dan. I couldn't believe my ears, dude.

And Liam, oh, you saw one, at least, like, his slap shot is famous, dude. It would break your hand. But even if he didn't have a Hercules slap shot, you would still never try to catch someone slap shot as the defenseman in front of that. Like, I can't even believe that dude puts his hand out.

Oh, Chris, open paw. It's like, dude, the goalie's right behind you. Let him save it. Yeah. Would you just be like, eat it on wherever else? Like, what the fuck? Dude, I once on a team at a higher level blocked a shot with my fist.

Like it came up and I actively moved like this, and it fucked up my knuckle and I came back to the bench. And my coach whacked me on the head and was like, what the fuck are you doing? And I was like, yeah, my bad, you're right. Let alone, yeah, open palming a fucking pocket.

Dan, I was also bummed that Luis can no longer stop. Like, I thought we, yep, I thought we, in two, Louise can't stop, and then in the gold medal game, he stops for the first time. And he's like, I did it. Yeah.

And then now he can't stop anymore. And I'm like, again, gets a scholarship, can't stop. Classic stuff. That blew me away, too. I go, wait, are some these kids horrible? No, no, sir. Team USA.

Team USA. We've got some classic, Mighty Duck stuff with Kenny Wu asking Russ to teach him out of shit talk. Yeah, that was funny. But like, you don't play real good. That's an iconic. Iconic. I do want to say Julie the cat being a goalie and wearing number six is some of the craziest stuff I've ever seen. I had that too. I went over my head. Oh, it's just, that's a wild goalie number. But so it's nine nothing after two. Charlie has a hat trick.

I don't think it is literally possible for a team to be so much. much better than another team to be up nine nothing after two periods and then blow that leave. It's insane. It couldn't have been four. That's what happens, guys. Yeah, it could have been five. I would have bought six for the purposes of this movie, but nine nothing. And then period three starts and all we see is all ducks or all JV action.

Like they have offensive zone possession. You mean all Blake? No. If you go back and watch that, the first beginning of that scene is literally the ducks passing around their zone. Oh, yeah, you're right. They're missing chances, but they're still. I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we get one Charlie turnover, immediate goal, and then it's just like goal, goal, goal, goal.

So what I think is interesting is literally nothing happened to cause this meltdown. Usually there's like some, you know, like maybe a player showboats too much and that pisses the other team off. But like, big hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, energy little flight. Nothing happens. All of a sudden they just get completely fucked up. Charlie takes a game, or a unsports, like, Conduct, I forgot about that. That was crazy.

Yep, crazy. Linda hates him now, too. Yeah, dude, because he's a jock. Yeah, she's like, what a prick. Yeah, I was right. I was right. You're a psycho jock. You probably like the name Warriors.

You prick. But then Charlie, you know, goes for the empty net, misses, Blake scores, tie game. They tie. Devastate it. All time collapse. Go back in the locker room and Charlie's being such a bitch. Just such an asshole. Motherfucking the rest of the team.

People are kind of yelling at him. Then Orion comes. in and this is maybe the first, if not only about a Ryan moment. He literally almost kills everyone on that team throwing that puck off the line. That was crazy. Dude. That was crazy. Like six players have to duck out of that.

But it was sick message because he goes, do you know how long it takes to score a goal? Yeah. Less than a second. And I was like, I will die for this man, dude. Great quote from this scene too. That fired me up. Dude, you got to get up early if you want to hunt goose egg. Dude.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Really good. And yo, I do want to say one thing, because this was. probably one of the funniest things I've seen. Hans just couldn't make it to that game. He had to radio it.

Hans loves these boys and girls more than anyone has loved anybody. And it's their first game, and it's right down the road because Charlie's a day student. And Hans, he'd be jammed up today. Yeah. Couldn't make it. And thank God that a JV hockey game

is on the radio. Yeah, you know what it felt like? Remember the Titans when after the guy gets in a car accident and he's like talking to the radio during the game's like, come on, boys. He's like, come on, Charlie. Play cool-minded hockey.

That's my ducks. Yeah, yeah. Like he's just been in a fatal accident that he can't move. Go Hans pop down to the rink. Yeah, dude. You don't have a van that can pick you up and bring you down there, dude? Oh, dude, that fucking killed me. So we then see that, or Orion says that they've got a 5 a.m. practice.

The ducks are disheveled, and then they see that their clothes have been put in the shower by the bar. devastating. Thus begins a nice little back and forth pranking war. I forgot how much of a prank war. The fun and games part of the fun of games. Act two. Before that, we get yet another moment of the dean finding coach O' Ryan and saying that the kids' scholarships

are going to be revoked if they don't perform. This is a junior varsity hockey team in high school. One game. That lost by a goal. Tied. Tide. They tied. This is now, guys, we're maybe 30 minutes into this movie. This is now the third or fourth time we have

been told that their scholarships are going to be taken away at some point. Just to make sure, us of the audience, we don't forget. Don't you forget. That's really the issue at hand here. So the ducks then steal some liquid nitrogen. Dude, this was crazy. Freeze the varsity's clothing. Really over-the-top response for being honest.

My favorite part about that scene is when their clothes are frozen and they're like, holy shit. And then the other dude, who's actually like a famous actor, Cole or whatever. He's on walking. Michael. He's walking dead. He's in lost. He goes, he points. He points at the captain, whatever his name is Riley or whatever, and he goes, dude. And they look up and it says varsity stinks on ice.

Varsity sucks ice in shaving cream. And then Riley goes, oh, ducks. Like, it wasn't until the varsity stinks shaving cream that they didn't realize it was maybe the ducks. They were like, who could have possibly done this to us? Like, no idea. No ideas. It's like we got to have to cheerleaders. Amidst all of this pranking, we see Charlie in the diner with his mom.

Yes. Her husband gone, eh, Dan? Yeah, has to be. Jesus Christ. Working in the diner again? Brutal.

Brutal. But, uh... Also, not really working in any sense. Or just sitting. Yeah. She's the eye candy. Yeah. She's the eye kid.

But, uh, she, motherfucked Charlie, good mom. Yeah. He's like, sit down and do your homework, dude. You are being a little bitch. And then Charlie storms out.

Yep. Again, Charlie. Come on. Figure it out. But then varsity pulls and invites the dinner trick. Yep. Or pulls the dinner trick on them. Invites them to the dinner trick on them.

Invites them to this lovely dinner at the, what do they call it, the Minnesota Club. Banks reassures them. It's all good. It's going to be great. Brutal. But in this scene, they're having this nice meal. Goldberg offers Julius a prime rib and Julie's on to him now, but I'm like,

wrong food. Yeah, yeah. You shouldn't have that time. You're going to be talking. But then they leave. Gee says he heard them talking in the bathroom that it's a cake that they're bringing out. Varsity leaves. They're like, we got one more surprise for you.

And then the cake literally. literally in icing says, thanks for dinner losers, and the staff hands them the bill. Yep. A couple things here. One, that's got to be a 30, 35 person table, right? Yeah. Well, there's only eight ducks, so. That bill was $850.

At least. That's what they say. And I'm just like, even in 1996, I feel like that's not be more than $8.50. Just steal for that meal. They're not drinking. Ooh, good point. That said, this staff at the Minnesota Club, brings out a cake that says thanks for dinner losers and hands the bill to a group of nine, 14-year-olds.

Did you think at no point that staff was like, Oh, boys, it's kind of fucked up. They probably can't pay for this dinner. Like, there's probably not going to be a monetary exchange here. Dude, the thing that stinks is this wouldn't work because in real life people would be on JV more than one year. But if that wasn't the case, I actually think this tradition is money. Like, what a fucking awesome thing where you're like every year, the JV, once a year that we tell the JV we're taking them out, but actually they get fucked with the bill.

Yeah, that's what people in the NFL do, the rookie dinner. Yeah, rookie dinner. Each position group goes out. And then they'll, there's this bottle, this certain bottle of something. That's $1,200, $1,200 a thing. And there's some story. Probably like Pappy Van Winkle or something. Something insane.

And I think it was Edelman or someone told this story where they went out and this older player just got the bottle, took a sip of it, closes up, and puts it in like a bag. Oh, fuck. Dude, sick move. Yep, that's sick. That was a great tradition. I actually loved this. That's so funny.

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know the fireball shot. When I say it, you can taste it. Listen, I'm going to say it one more time. Fireball. Close your eyes. You tasted it right in there. Didn't you? That cinnamon flavor, that perfect, smooth, go-down, easy cinnamon flavor. And listen, fireball is going to get your game day ramped up. Right now, we in football, it's baseball season. This baseball is football. Hockey's in a break. But the little fireball shooter on the way into a tailgate, fireball keg, if you want to go big, celebratory touchdown, boom, have a fireball. Unbelievable 50-yard bomb. Fireball. Interception, fireball. Every calls for Fireball. That's my favorite part about it. And Fireball right now is igniting your rivalry. So when hockey season starts, by the way, you better believe my Boston Bruins when we're playing,

well, it's really the Habs, you know, but sometimes the Leafs fans get mad at me, sometimes the Rangers fans get mad at me. I'm going to have a million rivals this season. And for every single rivalry I've got, it's going to be a fireball shop because it's got that rebellious, mischievous attitude that gets all the pregames going no matter what sports season we are in. So go check out your nearest shop and find the perfect fireball for you. Okay, so retaliation time, we get the Brazilian fire ants back. Dude, they have to clean the restaurant. Yeah, yeah, they literally watched it.

I was like, what do you mean? I think that makes sense. It's so funny. I was like, you gotta work for it, dude. So good. Then retaliation time, they get the Brazilian fire. Hell yeah. Great to see them come back into the movie.

But we got a full, you know, Ocean's 11 scene. Everyone's in, you know, ski masks, they're sneaking around campus. They funnel tubes into all the varsity's rooms, get the fire ants going. Yep. So, one thing really stuck out to me in this. Scooter, the goalie for varsity. Who, by the way, is Gunnerstall. People forget that.

Same after. Oh, I didn't know that. Gunner Stahl is like the main bad guy. He actually ends up being a really good guy, but he's on Team Iceland. Okay, okay. So kind of a weird casting choice, but whatever. When the ants are crawling on him, he's like giggling and smiling. And I'm like, again, kind of a weird.

weird, creepy, corny situation. But they all get blasted with these fire ants. They let them go. They all come running out, itching. Ha, ha, ha. Rick Riley, in a moment of fury, literally

calls these kids white trash. I forgot about that. Which is like... That went right by me. I don't even know. He's like, you know what? You guys are just white trash, man. And I'm like, hillbilly. Hockey motherfuckers.

Literally, Liam. And like, Russ at one point turns out and goes, who are you calling white trash? So at least they had the wherewithal to say that. But I'm like, what, dude? What is,

like, what class war has this movie turned into? Where he calls them fucking white trash. So that's really remarkable. And then that leads us into our classic game before the game. Yep. This I'm now realizing is just a staple

of hockey movies. Yeah. Like Mighty Ducks. They play the hawks and get bagged. Then they win. D2. They play Iceland. Get bagged. Then they win. Miracle. Obviously, that's a real story, but like, they play the Russians. Get bagged. Then they win. Like, this just, it happens. So they challenge them to a game. They go out at dawn. It's like, dude, it's the middle of the night. Yeah.

Guys, this scene is just like peak insanity. They get out on the ice. There's smoke everywhere. I don't know what's going on. We talked about the Foley earlier with like the blades and all that. That's happening so much in the scene. And then also, I don't know if you noticed, there's this weird chanting going on in the back. I don't know if they're going for like a warrior thing, like a Native American thing. But as they're skating, there's like a drum thing going on and you just hear people going, oh, ah, the whole scene, which is crazy. Dude, my thing with those, you'd see they have one of the actors actually take a shot.

Yeah. And then they cut to the puck and it's accelerated. 200 miles per hour on sticks somehow. It's a guy going, it's like a rocket chip. 100%. They get to the centerized face off. Banks tries to apologize to Charlie.

Charlie's having none of it. They get to the face off dot and Riley says first to 10. You know how long that could take? Yeah, right. I've never even heard of that. No. Who plays hockey, pick a pocket? No one.

No one has ever done that. There are goalies in net. And they say first to 10. Absolutely insane. They're going to miss first period. Sorry, it's 5'4. But we, As you could expect, things go very poor.

Yeah, it's horrible. Varsity's just beating them up. They try the flying V. It gets destroyed. They're down three or four nothing before fights break out. We also get a quick shot of Scooter's Mask. Pretty racist. We got like Chief...

It's like, I'll get a photo of it. It's like Chief Wahoo style. Yeah, good. A really stereotypical Native American just like screaming, which is, you know, great stuff for 1996 movie. But fight breaks out between Banks and Charlie turns into a whole. brawl, coach O'Ryan comes out, breaks it up, gets everyone out there. Charlie... Thank God, he was up at Don.

Thank God. Thank God. Charlie continues his behavior, bails on the team. He's like, fuck this, fuck you. Tutu Ryan goes, my hair line, this scene is when Ryan goes, you just lost your mental edge against the varsity. And I go, which was fucking zero? Like, what mental edge did we have? He tries to glaze it over, Chris, by going, whatever mental edge you might have had. And I'm like, there was never, there was fucking none. the varsity kids seem pretty insecure with their presence. Yep. So by

they are threatened by the ducks. Yeah. They did lose that by getting on the ice with them before the game. Good point. It's a very very good point. After he said specifically, stay away from the varsity until the freshman varsity Roe and Bo. That's six times in the movie. Yeah. That's very true. Yep. So Charlie

Quits. Fulton joins Charlie, they leave. Sick fucking scene, by the way. One of the best scenes, say it again? No, no, you mean the quits quit scene, eh? Yeah. Oh, okay, go on. Charlie's chirp to Orion. Forget what he says specifically, but it's a dagger. You're breaking up the best thing any of us ever had.

And then he's like, you couldn't hack it, so whatever the fuck, you're trying to show off in front of these kids. Yeah. It's a dagger, dude. Dagger. And Orion just goes, okay, you're gone. Goodbye Conway. Yeah, you're right. Just looks ahead.

God, that was sick, dude. Dude. Just the dad, just, I'm cool with who I am. Anyone else, dude? You can tell. You can tell, though, that there's a moment in there when he says that he's like, if you were four years older, I would knock you out. Yeah.

Yeah. But he's like, goodbye Conway. Get the fuck out. You're so right. I also noticed Fulton has Fulton on his jersey instead of Reed. Like, it used to be Reed, and now his jersey is. Wow, is that true? Yeah.

And I was like. Amazing. Fulton, by the way, Liam, you definitely see this in the first movie, but it goes hard in the second. Fulton is the most ride or die dude who's in life. Like, it's really remarkable. And he is in this one, too. Yeah. Fulton joins him, they bail.

Charlie goes to see Hans then off camera on a radio broadcast again we hear that Goldberg is now playing defense oh yeah fuck I forgot about that which is crazy yeah crazy off camera decision and then also like in the beginning when they're rollerblading Goldberg goes

as far as to say he's like I can't skate I'm not a state but they're like this well you play now for Eden Hall as a defenseman so that's great so Hans we hear that the ducks are losing a game you know the JV's losing a game Hans literally calls Charlie a little boy And he's again another voice of reason being like dude

Wake the fuck up And in the scene we see that Hans is not doing well He's like coughing before Charlie walks in Then Charlie's even like are you okay dude And he's like yeah So I didn't need that went over my head A little bit like him being sick thing Yeah yeah

So continue Yeah Charlie's still upset about like he's like he took my sea away Like crazy how important that is Crazy how important that is So then Charlie goes Fucks off, plays hooky, goes to the Mall of America with Fulton. Sick. That was awesome. Eating a bunch of stuff. They're going on

roller coasters. They're puking in trash cans. We then see, like, really salt in the wound. We get scenes of the Ducks team at school. Just love and stuff. I was dying at that Dan. Dwayne's learning stuff. That crazy history professor now, they love this guy. He's got more life lessons.

It's unbelievable. Then Charlie and Fulton after, I mean, the montage made it seem like they've been doing this for a week. It was just a day. Yep. And Fulton's like, how long are we going to do this? And Charlie's like, dude, we're going to go to public school, then we're going to go play juniors in Canada. You only have to be 17.

So that's three years away. So, like, I don't know if his plans to take three years off of hockey and just go to public school. Either way, Fulton says, he's not sure if he wants to play hockey forever. Devastating. Yet again, Charlie, not taking news well. Motherfucks Fulton. He's like, go. Old yellersome.

The old yellersome. Get out of you. He old yellers him. I don't need you. He old yeldered out of it. Old Yellard Fulton, dude. Your best boy. Yeah.

You're number one cheese, dude. He's literally Old Yellers Fulton. Who just gave you the most reasonable excuse, why I don't know how much longer I'm play hockey. I'm going to go back and play with my friends, you know? Yeah. He's like, I hate you. The old yeller does do.

He's like, we still got the dog. I can't believe that. Also, we have scholarships at this really good school. We should probably take advantage of that. And Charlie literally, yeah, he old yellers him. He white fangs him. He's like, get out. Go on.

Get. Like, just unbelievable stuff. So. Charlie goes to the diner comes to the diner that news did that rock your world

dude there's a few scenes where I I genuinely laughed out loud yeah and when she said it was his time to go I laughed

so fucking hard I was like what it was what you mean dude why he was supposed to die dude

Why? Because the movie was necessitated it. Really crazy stuff. I was dying and this is, you're about to go to the funeral, right? Yeah, yeah. So this isn't, you talk about the funeral, but I was dying at the funeral, dude,

because in D2, it's actually a beautiful exposition in D2, but in D2, Gordon gets home the very beginning. And it's like, should be Hans picking him up and it's this guy, yawn. And he's like, Yon, where's Hans? Clearly an actor. Yon's like, oh, I'm Hans' brother. And he doesn't say it to Bombay, like they're boys.

He's just being like, Hans went back to see Mom. Like, like, I'm. I'm running the shop for this movie. So it's Yon. And then this movie, Hans, is back. So I was just dying at the funeral. All the D2 kids are crying. And I'm like, did someone just tell you Hans was a cool guy?

Because you've never met him. And Chris, they all don't live in Minnesota. Like, why do they like Hans? Why do they know Hans? Like, it really does not add up at all. So good. But we then get to the funeral and Gordon shows up late to the funeral, which is just... Laugh out loud.

Yep. And him walking up laughed out loud. Unbelievable. Amazing. Guys, showing up late to a funeral is just, it's not something that happens. At all. It's such a staple in movies. You know what else is a thing that people are late to?

AA meetings. Yeah. In movies, they're always in a gymnasium fold-up chairs, and then the guy, the main character, is 15 minutes late. And the door opening echoes throughout the whole gymnasium. And he says, they're like, who are you? Yeah. Why are you late? Yeah, you'd go to the meeting. Yeah, you know, it's at seven.

Also, funerals notoriously have a large run. off the time. Yeah. For this exact reason. They're like, everyone get here and then we will begin. Also opening on every funeral in a movie, just wide. Yeah, yeah. Cars pulling out. Someone in the cemetery. Yeah. Yeah. So Gordon shows up late, insane.

We then see Charlie's alarm going off at 6 a.m. He is perplexed that an alarm has been set, only to turn and see Gordon Bombay sitting at the foot of his bed saying, I set the alarm. This was my, this was the third hardest I left. Because it implies

that Bombay broke into his room before six in the morning. Who knows when? But also Liam said it. At least we know after Charlie has fallen asleep. Yes. Guaranteed. How long has he been in there?

He's in this boy's room. He's sleeping. Yeah. Gets a chair. Hypothetically watches him sleep for at least 10 minutes. Yep. At the minimum. I'm going to go as far as say at least an hour. Yeah.

Like between 5 and 6 a.m., the sun's probably up. sun's up in the scene. Yep. So the sun's probably, and like if someone's in your room, you're waking up in that window. But like,

yeah, you're not waking up. Yeah, because he couldn't, yeah, he didn't want him to wake up when he came in. And then it takes him

15 seconds to realize there's a guy in the room. Yeah. I didn't even set the alarm. Yeah. You would wake up and go, oh, fuck, you're,

oh, there's a guy's foot of my best. Yeah, there's a grown man sitting. Jesus. Yeah, just. It's really remarkable. And thus continues a series

of very inappropriate relationship moments between Gordon and Charlie in these three movies. What the fuck was that scene? Dude. Really wild. I've been thinking about you

and the ducks every single day. Yeah. Okay. Tips him out of bed. He could have been naked under those sheets. That's what I thought too. You know, it's just really wild stuff. But Gordon takes Charlie to a local skating rink

and sees Coach Orion pushing his wheelchair-bound daughter around the ice. If there was ever a doubt that this man was the greatest coach of all time. These scenes back to back? Yeah. Oh my God, dude. unbelievable knockout

imagine the world not knowing Orion's story if he quit the NHL in the heart of his prime because him and his daughter

were ready for bringing that a devastating car accident in this moment they Charlie brings up he's like why did he leave Bombay says he was in his prime

and his daughter got in the accident he was driving yeah yeah her friends and her doctors were here in Minnesota so he quit Because the North Stars moved that year to Dallas.

That's true. Let me tell you what you wouldn't do if you were a in your prime NHL player making an NHL salary. And your daughter has just been injured in an accident with a lot of medical bills coming up. You would not quit said NHL job to become a junior varsity high school coach. Yeah. That is not a decision you would make. Because you know where you can get just as good if not better doctors in Dallas,

a much bigger city where you have an NHL salary. Yeah. You'd probably keep that income. With the connections of those doctors. Yeah, you have the team. You have the team. It's free. You'd probably use that. Yeah. You would probably use that. But a Ryan stand-up guy. Agree, Chris. Everyone on Earth would know that story. I thought he was a washed-up bomb.

Oh. I'm like, oh, you did? That exposition dump, here's what happened. This is exactly what you need to know about him right here. And we'll just, and then I know what time he goes skating with his daughter. He's like, oh, Charlie. Yeah. I got to show you something.

Yeah. Come watch this. What the fuck? I will say in this scene, we do get a glimpse of why we love Coach Bombay. Great speech about how the duck saved his life. Yes. That got me in the field. After watching these three movies back to back to back to back, like, I was like.

Best thing they were happening to me. That's pretty sick. Yep. So we then go and find the ducks playing street hockey. Of course. They welcome Charlie back instantly. It's always warm in Minnesota winters in these. Yeah, really. Always more. And like street hockey is just so important to these. I don't know if they couldn't afford the ice time for the shooting schedule.

They're just in LA is the problem. Clearly. It's just being shot in Burbank. So that's what's what's going on. But they welcome him back. Then Charlie asked to come back while walking on the team bus before a game. Doesn't even apologize. Yeah, dude, I couldn't believe that. Just says, want to come back. I want to play two-way hockey. What about the shit you said about me? What about that insanely personal dig that you threw my way, buddy? Also, is his gear on the bus? Yeah, just in case. No idea. Is he involved in the game plan? Like, is Orion going to pencil him in now? A lot of questions there. But the dean then comes on the bus and informs them that there's going to be a meeting the next day.

Yep. And the implication is that there's a meeting to determine their future, but it's actually just to tell them that there's a meeting to just discuss the fact that they've already made the decision to kick them out of school. But they can finish the semester. Yeah. Bizarre. Which is like half the hockey season. Absolutely bizarre. Also, the Dean kept, when he's not around the kids and he's talking to other people, he would talk highly.

He loved them. And then would you just be like, yeah, actually, I'm... It's out of my hands. It's out of my hands. Yeah, I was super flip-flopped on him too, dude. The Dean, he really is just sitting on the fence in this movie. Like, I don't know where his allegiances are, because he's always being like, it's, like, to Riley's dad, Tom. He's like, you know, they're a good team, Tom, we got to see how they do.

But then he's like, I'm sorry, you can't play here anymore. It's really crazy. We also then get a moment where Coach Orion comes off the bus. He's like, this is ridiculous. And he's like, now you get to pick your team. And he's like, this is my team. Orion, legend. And he says, best of luck, Tom.

We'll do it. He has a sick line. He goes, they go, I go. Yeah. And then he goes, we'll miss you, Tom. Yeah, he's like, we'll miss you, whatever his fucking name is. Another guy's, I don't know if you caught this one. Great Fulton ADR moment.

In that moment, he goes, I know where that dude lives. Oh, I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that one. stuff. So then we cut to the meeting. The board has made the decision, no objections. Yeah. Really great stuff too. You're like, this is a massive situation. All the students at the school are there. Dude, why is the varsity team there? I was dying at that, dad. The varsity team there is just like celebrating. Linda's there. I, yeah. Charlie's mom's there.

My brain went, okay, everyone has to go to school events all the time. Yeah. Yeah. They get, they get forced to. Oh, so good. Big, big important school board decisions. The Students should be there. But Bombay shows up and he lawyers the shit out of them. Yeah, he lowers the shit out of them. Loers the shit of them, drops the hammer. Gordon gets significant fuck-me-ey-eyes from Charlie's mom. As he's like wheeling and dealing, they're definitely fucking.

Which I thought he got at the beginning of the movie. In fact, like the very beginning of this movie, I was like, oh shit, they're just going to say they're banging again. And then they don't, but I was like, they are, though. Would give reason to why he was at Charlie's house at two in the morning. Yeah, dude. He didn't sneak in, dude. He walked down the hole. He's literally, like, if that camera pans down, he's in PJs, dude.

He walked down the hall. That's 100% what happened. That's definitely what happened. He's like, yeah, he's been bummed. He's like, I'll wake him at 6 a.m. Yeah, and she's like, no, that'll look like you just got here. That'd be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's so true. Because he won't freak about all if you were in his room. He will freak if you're banging me again. Did you get him through a window or I locked up last night? Yeah, dude, fuck. I still have the key charge. So Gordon gives his impassioned speech, begrudgingly, one of the board members is like, I vote to read. Dude, it was so weird that it was so begrudgingly.

She was like, I guess. Yeah, and then another guy's like, okay, fine. So scholarships reinstated. And then, guys, we had our white trash moment earlier. This line from Rick Riley, they come out of that meeting. Everyone's all happy only to meet varsity being just motherfucking them again. And Riley says, you're our own little affirmative action brought in for color for our entertainment. I remember this, dude.

That's like the most racist line I've ever. Like the subtle hints of Rick Riley being a massive racist are shocking. I wish they went harder. Me too. Yeah, just go full heel. And then here's something I figured out too, dude. Do you think Rick Riley is Coach Riley's son from the first movie? It would make a lot of sense.

Yes. Maybe grandson? Yeah, maybe grandson. I like this. Because Coach Riley is like 80 years old possibly. And it's insane to use the last name Riley again for no reason in your trilogy. Yeah. Other than the fact that it's just such a fucking hockey last day.

Yeah, right. It is. But wouldn't you give a little bit of a line somewhere with all the exposition you're doing anyways? It goes into the amount of continuity errors. The producers of these movies just didn't care about anything. It's remarkable. So we then get our first training montage of the JV team liking each other. The entire montage is essentially them just sweeping track off of the.

Love this. This is in my honorable mentions. And they start training with trash. Dude, we joked in D1, Liam, that the egg montage, we were like, God, killer for the Zamboanie guy after egg practice. And like, I love the Eden Hall Zamboni guy after that. He's like, Jesus fucking Christ, he's like fucking trash everywhere. It's just insane.

Also, he just dumps the trash onto the ice. Hypothetically, I mean, it's all cans. Yeah, yeah. Wouldn't there be like a half-eaten sandwich? Yeah. Well, there's a bagel. Remember there's a bagel? Yeah.

Untouched. Untouched. But guys, it also shows in the montage, they're rollerblading again, just throwing trash away on the street. Yeah, they're clearing up the city. The trash montage was a decent 10 minutes. A lot of trash stuff. Multiple iterations of trash.

Dude, if I knew that fire ants and trash would be a focal point of this awesome. Yeah, awesome stuff. We then see a little misdirect. Looks like Orion's yelling on them, says they're not skating. like warriors. Yeah. Says they're skating like ducks.

Give them their ducks jerseys back. Just yet another moment of spitting in the face of the new team they play for. Like they just can't let the ducks go. Like it always has to be ducks, which is just crazy stuff. So we then have the big game. The big game. We get to the big game. Can I say one thing on this?

Just for the plot point. It does seem crazy to me that it is much as we want to make fun of it. It just seems so crazy to me that they didn't build in like an Exeter Andover, like, oh, Eden Hall's main rival is blank. It is truly remarkable, Chris. Because in D1, they play the Hawks. In D2, they play Iceland. Also, I've got news for you.

You have to scrimmage the varsity? I've got news for you. Never would have. Which happens never anywhere in the history of Earth? Never would happen. And then also, these kids just won a world junior gold medal. They would all be on varsity. Yes.

These are the best players in the United States at their age. They would all make varsity. Like, it just. It's crazy that they wanted an inter-school battle. Was to make them play the varsity field. I will say, I heard this on the Pat McAvey show. In Ohio, wherever A.J. Hawk went to high school, they would have an alumni game, which my high school had it too.

Yeah. It's flag. You know, the alumni has come to play team flag. They played full pads alumni game. And so Kirk Herb Street went to A.J. Hawks High School. And A.J. Hawk lit him up in the alumni game because they played full fucking pads alumni game. Dude.

And they stopped doing it now, but that's a movie by itself. Yes. Can you fucking imagine? I almost would want to get teed up over the middle. Like, AJ Hogg ripped my head off once. But I could also see like, I mean, I guess it's college, so these kids are huge anyway. But I was like, I could see like some psycho alumni just ruining a kid's career. Yeah.

Leveling them. You know, like, give me a break. That's fucking insane. So, okay, anyway, back to the game. Yep, here we go. Team comes up, they show respect to Hans. Oh, yeah. With the most half-assed, like, little circle and skating and touching the ice.

Now, in this moment, the announcer kid. says the touching of the ice is a sign of is a Norwegian sign of respect guys Hans and Jan are the most German people I've ever seen in my life like in movie two Jan is like talking about his famous schnitzel yes like they are so clearly not Norwegian so that felt like the crazy like a wild crazy a man named crazy who sounds the way he does yeah and talks about all this like like This man is not Norwegian, but we're just going to skate right past that. The entire arena starts quacking.

Oh, yeah, fuck, we're quacking again. Really, really crazy. Including the dean. Yeah, yeah. Including the dean. Now he's back over here. They're ducks, Tom. Ducks them again.

So the team gets out there, they start the game, we've got a defensive battle. I actually will say, nice change of pace from all the other movies. Yeah. Just goals galore in every other movie. This one's just a nice, gritty game. The varsity coach says pick up the hitting. Yep. again feels like some of these kids you get injury you're gonna have to call for these players up

feels weird to be like targeting them we get a scene where averman gets like hit into the boards falls down and then gets need in the head yeah yeah he's doing seen stars yeah really really crazy stuff we got a paul korea between period segment incredible just of every movie a vintage NHL moment we got we got mike madano in the first one we got waino and the second one and and chely and neely yeah yeah lehleys in there really great stuff so then Dean Portman shows up. Holy shit. I have a question for you guys, just as movie guys.

Do you think the original script for D3 it was written this way? Like, Portman will bail early and appear at the third period of the last game, or was it like an availability issue, actor disagreement issue? I'm genuinely asking. I felt like there was a lot of those.

Yeah. Yeah. Gordon, too. Why is Gordon not in this movie? Because he got a check and was like, I'll do three scenes. Yeah, right. Because there's just no way that they were like,

we should write Dean Portman out of this movie. For just this moment. And then have a... But there's so many cooler ways to get rid of him for most of the movie. Yeah, dude. He gets hurt. He hurts.

Yeah. Like, I cannot believe the script said that. It must have been like, hey, we can't get the actor or like something or whatever. Yeah, it's just, it's odd. It's insane, dude. But Dean comes back. Six scene, though.

Amazing. That being... That being... That'd be said. It totally works. It still works. However, Dean comes back. He comes in and he's reading his scholarship. So like, can you add this kid in the middle of the game?

It's a scrimmage yet. Who cares? And he brings up the scholarship. So like, whatever. But then he comes out and Tom Riley is like, what the fuck is this? Yeah. And when the dean could easily just go, it's a fucking scrimmage and he has a scholarship, calm down.

He decides to say, he's got a contract, Tom. My hands are tied. He's 14 years old. There's no contract. Yeah. Why are you using the word contract? What are you talking about? But Dean comes out, the fucking famous guy from Walking Dead is like, ooh, a bash brother.

Blow of the whistle, drop of the face off, just runs him. Like, no puck anywhere, runs him. God, these movies love this. Dean flips him over his back straight into the stance. Electric stuff. Breaks through the boards. Glass shatters everywhere. Skis first.

Into the crowd. Dude, there are multiple. Like, I'm talking severe injuries. Yeah. Severe. Like, get the ambulance, dude. Crazy. We got another tight period. Julie the cat standing on her head.

Two minutes left in the game. Yeah. Dean takes a penalty. Killer. Tough call. Like, let's not even get into, thanks for showing up, Dean. Yeah. You fucking asshole. Dean then gets in the box and proceeds to strip T's to rile up the crowd.

Yeah. Again, this is a 14-year-old boy. And, like, the announcer's like, the lady's in. here are sure going wild and it's cutting to full grown women. Not students, full grown women while Dean Portman, a 14 year old child is getting naked. Also, when he got

the penalty and then he started stripping, in my mind I was like, did he get booted? Is that why? Because your gut, you're about to get ejected. You certainly are getting ejected now. You just going to make it worse. You threw your helmet into the crowd. You're not getting back on the ice now. Yeah. I kept thinking that. I was like, so he's just, I guess there was no more time left, right?

Yeah, but like, are we going overtime? I don't know. Exactly. Yeah. Also, the dean says to Tom, he's like, he's a dance major. And I'm like, we all know he just shut up to school. He got here today. He's a major too. It's high school. High school.

He's a freshman in high school. There's assigned classes, dude. Yeah, he's taking social studies. Truly remarkable stuff. So then the ducks take a too many men penalty. We got a five on three. Coach Orion puts out Conway, Banks, and Goldberg. Wild decision.

But they go out there. Orion slaps the sea on Charlie's chest and says to take his shot. Again, for a defensive coach, pretty wild. But I love it. Yep. They go out there. Banks makes a huge chest off the logo block that springs Charlie and Goldberg on a breakaway. Yeah.

Charlie makes a pass. Goldberg scores. They win. One nothing. Say what you will. Another buzzer reader. Every Ducks movie has a goal at a buzzer, which is very rare in hockey. Right at the pool.

Also, that when they cut to, they cut to. three, two, and it's on Goldberg for seven or eight seconds. He's looking at this guy, back to the coaches. Yeah. I want one of those scenes to just have him go, who, yeah. Just, and then do it like, and then freak out after him, but holy shit, don't stand, this, it's been so much cooler if he just went, boom. Yeah.

He shoots it, we see two varsity players coming and hit him, like so much. Yeah, the refs goes like this, then it shows the puck not in yet, you know? That was great, too. The rest like immediately this. I will say, say what you will, having Goldberg's, score of the winning goal in this movie's awesome right great arc cool great arc awesome right the goal probably the best arc in the movie yeah so our movie ends uh varsity coaches we'll get you next time coach yeah when are you guys possibly ever playing each other ever again yeah next year they won't be

like you know this is insane scooter kisses gaffney on the cheek another just horny moment yeah movies but kind of love it louise is making out with rick's girlfriend on the ice Charlie's mom comes out on that I had one thing with Luis Yeah yeah please Dude he says A little secret Yeah

Which implies that like He's been plugging her All semester Yeah yeah I was like dude That is Benny the Jet That is Benny the Jet dude That is a Benny the Jet move

Charlie's mom's on the ice Linda's now on the ice Kissin Charlie Charlie says I love you mom We're supposed to like Charlie now Movie ends with Gordon Bombay dropping a banner of Eden Hall Yucks

over the Warriors logo. Yet again, Ducks, Trump, all. We get a flashback montage, or not a montage, just one shot of Gordon and Charlie from the movie one. This pump into firework. Yeah. Unbelievable ending. That is D3, the Mighty Ducks.

Just a wild movie. Yep. Let's get into our awards. We're going to start with our heart, our MVP, Liam, take us away. Fulton. Oh, wow. Fuck, I almost did that. Dude, I mean, the scene where he where Charlie quits

and he clearly you can see in his face he doesn't want to quit and he's just like fuck it that's my dog I'm out. Can't leave my boy yeah and then even earlier in the movie he's like fucking

what's his face is not playing him out just to do this down for his voice yeah he is the most down to ride guy in the world best teammate I almost put him in I almost put forward in mine Julie the cat yeah

oh good finally gets her movie like she's been rides pine bion she's better goalie so she finally gets her movie to be the starter she makes some monster saves in the final monster saves

she's down to clown in the prank wars she's looking fucking out of the Matrix up in there doing her thing she put on freshman 15 but that happens to everybody and it's Goldberg's fault and she bags the varsity goalie and she's an A student

Tom and she's an A student the dean yells that at one point when she makes a monster save so that's facts Julie the Cat that's awesome that is awesome that's a great pick my MVP is going to be Adam Bex wow fuck

not a lot of screen time in this movie, but think about what this kid goes through, dude. Like, he agrees to go to this school with all his fucking boys, and then immediately gets ripped from the team. And has to be hanging out with these douchebag varsity guys. When they're like, fuck you,

you're not one of us. He goes right back to the team and then performs, has the game saving lock off the chest. What does Riley say to him with the face off? Yeah, he's like, he's like, you shouldn't have left us.

I'm like, you kicked him off. You literally kicked him off the team. You did it. Like Adam should have been like this. I did. His reaction to getting varsity was great too. Yeah, he's like, I'm varsity? Like, he doesn't want it.

Yeah, yeah. Like, he's just like, that is a team guy. Yep. Everyone wants Adam Banks to be a cake eater, but he's not. He's not. So I loved Adam Banks game in this movie. Let's go on to our healthy scratch, least valuable player in the movie movie.

I think we know Liam's. Yeah, it's fucking Charlie. Has to do that. I mean, I... I'm going to just jump in and say, mine too. Like, as much as I wanted to find a rant, it's just, Charlie is the worst.

He's the worst. The actor, phenomenal. Yeah. That teenage angst and rage when he's like not looking at the coach is just like this. I was like, oh shit, this is fucking, this kid's fucking angry. He might fight the coach. Yeah. He might say something insane.

Every scene I felt like that. Acting wise, amazing. Just the character. The worst. Fucking. Oh my God. Dude, I would say dangerously obsessed with ducks. Yeah.

Like there's just like so many moments. He's obsessed with the dogs. He's like, they pull out the team USA jersey and he goes like, what? why aren't we ducks? And I'm like, it's the Olympics, Charlie? Like, he has like a real problem, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely. Benny the Jet Sandlot obsessed with just, come on, we're playing.

Yeah. I just want to play. It's, no, it's an ego weird thing. Yeah, he's obsessed with being a duck and being a captain of the ducks. Yeah. He is, and you were so right, and I was thinking this the whole time, the writers clearly, like, they forgot to redeem him. Yeah.

Like, they were like, let's make Charlie really. No, not at all. They're like, let's make Charlie as hateable as you. humanly possible. Dude, when he comes back and doesn't apologize, I'm so glad you said that. I was like, dude, you need to be like, I'm so sorry, team for he literally goes, I guess, I want to play.

I just want to play. I want to play too hockey. I'm like, and you're sorry. I'm sorry for what I said. I'm sorry, your daughter is in a wheelchair. How about that, dude? That was a great scene when Keenan sits down. I thought that was awesome. The most realistic thing. He's like, I'm sorry, go. That's exactly what I would have done.

Like, you're a prick, dude. And also, maybe apologize to the team, dude. You walked out on your team. I was going to go Charlie, but I thought you guys were going to yell at me, so it should be just a three-way sweep, Charlie. But I'll just say, Charlie, honorable mention for me, Riley's dad, honorable mention for me, ridiculous. I'm going the varsity head coach. He was really mad about the ducks being there at the beginning of the movie, which is kind of understandable, I guess, but kind of weird. Then he asks the current Minnesota state champions to head hunt their own JV in the second period of scrimmage that he is tied in.

He also cries about a too many men call. with two minutes left in that. He's like, sir, too many men and gets it. And then, Dan, you brought this up, the audacity to go, I'll get you next to your coach, to the JV coach, who just served you your fucking lunch to shut the fuck up. And one last thing on him, that actor is a ref in D2. So a little conspiracy here.

I think maybe he has a grudge. I think he maybe took the Eden Hall of the university job to get back of the ducks because he had money. He had money on Iceland. in D2 and is now very interesting and is now buried most hockey coached looking dude

ever though great his anger too I was like fuck yeah dude the hair too oh my god perfect red face probably drinks all the fucking oh yeah vodka too

fucked up on the bench yeah straight vodka yeah warm not even on ice you know what I'm also now just thinking about you were talking about

how there's just not even close to enough players on the bench for the ducks team it's funny how a plot line in here is Tom Riley is like you're telling me my youngest boys and good enough to put me.

They could probably use another body. Bring them. Tom. It's JV. I don't think you can get cut from you. Yeah, like you're on the board. You certainly can get your kid in this school. Just put them on that. Get him out here, Tom. No reason to not have them on that team.

So good. My one honorable mention if Charlie didn't just steal that award was Portman. And Portman was my LVP in D2. That's right. Again, the guy shows up and takes a penalty immediately. Not brutal. Brutal. Just like not great.

Let's move on to our Game 7 moment. Our genuine chills moment. Liam? It's, it's tough. I have a few. Let me try to decide on right now. Wait, you guys. I'll go first.

I'll go first. I'm torn between two, but one is kind of theft from a different movie, so I'm going to go with this one. And the scene's kind of all over the place, but it's right after Bombay has creeped on Charlie, but he brings him to the rink. Actually, I can't remember if it's right before that, or when he's watching Riley,

or Orion, I think is when he's watching Riley, but he calls Charlie, he says you were the real Minnesota miracle man. I had that written down. Be that man. And I was like,

he says when he called Coach Orion to tell him about the ducks, he said that Charlie was the glue that held them all together. And he goes, I said that you were the real Minnesota miracle man. Because that's what they called Bombay in two. They're like,

Bombay's the Minnesota. Sick moment. You were the real Minnesota miracle man. That's fucking awesome. So that was one of my two written down. My other, we talked about it earlier. Coach O'Ryan's first confidence speech

Oh dude That was just a great speech And like there was one line When he says attack the game When the puck isn't yours That's how you attack life God is you kidding me I might like next time I'm feeling down on myself

I'm just gonna watch that Like coach O'Ryan fucking gas me up dude I was like watching that scene And I was like this This does not belong in this movie This is like a very good Not just coach speech Movie speech

Yeah it belongs In the Pantheon Yes it really does That was electric I go, uh, death of Hans. Yeah, oh, dude. Because I didn't see it coming. At all.

That must have knocked you on your ass. Yeah. Like, because I was kind of just like, well, I was like, oh, it's like, when they're not, on the ice, it slows down. It's shit's happening. I was like, oh, fuck. And you know what you can take from that, Liam is because I actually thought this was great. Did you know, sorry to interrupt. Did you know what was happening when Charlie walked in the diner and his mom was crying?

Were you like? Yeah, I was like, Hans is dead. Yeah. Dude, you, I feel like when Hans, Charlie leaves and Hans goes, goodbye, Charlie. Yeah. After Charlie's gone. And I'm like, Jesus, he knew he was about to die. Well, yeah, Charlie, because he's coughing and Charles is like, you're okay, Hans?

And he's like, he does something weird. Yeah. He's like, he was like about to catch up or something. Get the fucking out of here right here about the people. But, dude. Get out of here. I'm going to jack off one more time before I die. That would be sick, actually.

I liked in the funeral, Bombay goes, don't forget it's Hans who taught us to fly. Oh. That, yeah. That's good chills. Okay. Crazy. Okay. Sent to the Minesies.

Let's go to our Sent to the Minesies moment. Sent to the miners moment. just like a, you know, whether it's a line, a plot hole or something, but just like a bad moment in this movie. I'll go first. This one, I hate chirping the hockey in these movies because you can chirp a lot of it. I hate it. But this one, dude, was just, this one just killed me. It's the very end, bro.

Banks blocks that shot. And the puck is right there. And Charlie picks it up and curls behind his net. And Riley, the captain, gets steamy. by Goldberg, which is like clear interference, but like that happens to all these movies. So like, just like steam roll. It's like literally right at their goal. Charlie picks it up.

Goldberg drills Riley and the announcer kid goes, Riley goes down and Conway has a breakaway. Ten seconds left. And I'm like, he's literally in front of his own net. And then dude, it cuts to him and it's a dude like deeing him up. And dude, remember the two guys that hit Goldberg? Like they come from behind the guine. They show like four, maybe three. but like three or four shots of Charlie from behind

and every single time there are multiple varsity players between him and the goal. Like not even for a millisecond of this play was he on a breakaway. Yeah. Like not from the beginning, not later. He is on a one on three.

The entire duration of this play and not to mention three minutes go by in the 10 second. I was just like, why did you say breakway? Just to be like Conway on the rush and the scene is fine. Like the use of breakway there

It was insulting to me. Also, it's like in Batman, when you look at extras fighting in big scenes, the defensemen are like, Yeah, yeah. Liam, it's remarkable. I'll talk about that as we wrap up. Mine, I already touched on it. Just I'll reiterate, mine is the coach O'Ryan putting a 15-minute limit on the line. It's just like, it's, again, it's one of those, like in the first one when we broke this down,

there's a line where Hans tells Gordon that he scored 198 goals in his, like, pee-wee hockey season. And those are just the ones where I'm like, did no one involved in this movie play hockey? Just like, you don't need to say that line. Just adjust it a little. And that is one where I'm like, we don't need that 15 minutes. Right. Like, it's just crazy. And it's both from a no coach would ever do that.

There are people who literally can't get undressed in 15 minutes. No coach would ever do that. And it's just from like hockey culture. It's just spitting in the face of hockey culture. So I hate it. It's got to be bomb, baby. being in Charlie's room at 16. I mean, I paused it.

I went back. I missed some context here. Boom. He's just there. He's just there. He's just there. He's just there. He's gone out, dude.

I've been thinking about you. Every day. You have the ducks every single day. Remarkable. Okay. And now finally our Keith Yandel song moment, a moment that made us legitimately laugh out loud. You said a few already, and I'm with you on all.

Do you want to go first? Daughter wheelchair skate. Lapped. It's a chills moment And I'm laughing at all right. It gave me everything. Yeah, you had no idea. Perfect scene.

No idea of respect. It's because that scene could have happened without him pushing his daughter. They were like, we're going to give you the exposition and then look. Look. And the coach never looks up and goes, oh, there's people watching me in the stand.

Oh, that's shit, that's Charlie. Not just people. That's Coach Bombay and one of my players. Yeah. That I laughed. I laughed. What made it so funny is that it was directly after the 6 a.m.

Bombay in the room thing. Those two together, just so fucking funny to go from, hey, this is the weirdest thing ever to, oh my fucking God. Yeah. True. Dude, mine, one of my Arnold B mentions, which you said earlier, was the, got to get up early to hunt goose eggs. I was like, dude, that is it?

I might use that, dude. But this one just, I don't know why, but this one just killed me. Goldberg makes Julie the cat eat donuts. She's puking. And Orion, who like hates the ducks and all their next games goes, do with a cat you swallow a fur ball I was like yeah what

dude another good line from him is when he finds out he doesn't he's not starting he goes what am I chopped liver yeah it's fucking all time all time truly all time did that killed me um I think I wrote down one that I wrote down that I just like genuinely laughed out loud at

was the first dean speech another idiot Dwayne Robinson moment leans forward and he's like what is he saying and Russ Tyler, Keenan Thompson says, something about a shrinking sphincter. Yeah. Again,

in a PG Mighty Ducks movie, it wasn't expecting sphincter talk. So that got me. That got me really good. That's funny. But I do think, like, the true shock in awe laughs for me

came from Rick Riley calling them white trash. Yeah, that was great. That's great. He goes, you guys are just white trash, man. I was like, what the fuck

what's happening in this movie? I forgot one that I wanted to ask you guys, which might have been an actual break is when Dwayne at the dinner is asking about the forks. He's got too many forks here. And then he pulls up the little one. He goes, it's a little one. And he like

actually started laughing. I actually laugh pretty hard. I think that that was a act. I think he broke there. That was really really. A little one, dude. I think then the other time I laughed really hard is jock stealing lunch. Oh, dude. Just

phenomenal. The ants, when they were learning about the ants because I just watched aliens again and you know in the beginning of aliens when sigourney weaver's in the fucking big machine oh yeah and I go and she's like yeah I'm a class too I can I can drive one of these things I go all right so this is the movie's gonna and I forgot yeah so she's gonna kill the fucking alien with that thing yeah and the end of the movie and then the end of the movie when they pop out yeah that's how I felt when the ants came back in I was like yes come on fucking just great hijinks hijinks galore here job uh okay so to wrap up this

movie we're going to give it a enjoyment score one out of ten with decimals and then a quality movie. So we're going to go quality movie first. C.P. What level quality? Quality movie might have been dropping down, Liam. So I think I was like a 7-7D1, like a six-something, six-eight, D-2. The quality of this movie is worse.

I'm stepping down again. Just from the varsity argument alone. I'm like, what are we talking about? But it's not horrible. Funny act too. So give me like 5-9 Okay

Enjoyment I've been in the nines for all of them I think I am just lower though Because like I don't quite have The nostalgia but still high Still the ducks It's still there's my ducks

Yes Still my ducks Still got the music So give yeah Still get that fucking score So give me an 8-7 I like it I think quality is

Is just like way low It's bad And I think So I'm gonna go like a four But it's that low because watching this movie again, there was so much opportunity with this movie. Like this was a prep school hockey. Yeah, dude. The actors are older.

Like, to your point, like, they were like actually like, but probably all those actors are probably between like 14 and 17. Some of them have become very famous. Yeah. And you know what's continue? Well, I just like, I just think with a little more fucking effort from these goddamn producers. Like shame on every one of the producers of these Mighty Yucks movies. They're iconic and they could have been even better. This one specifically, like, I know it's a Mighty Ducks movie.

I know it's a kid movie, but they had a chance to take a Harry Potter leap. You know, like in the Potter movies when, like, movie three to four leaps and you're like, oh. They get long hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The actors are older. They like, they lean into like, this could be a little bit older. They could have done that in this movie. But they just like kept it so silly and stupid and nothing made sense.

So it gets such a little bit. a score for that. Enjoyment level, I'm at an 8.5 still. As much as I'm like, this is ass, it's just, it's the ducks. It's the best. So it is what it is. I'll say before I give my score, one thing that all fucking sports movies in general do, and I wish they didn't do it because they, they just write half of a bully where they're right to prick. I'm like, yes, this bully's a prick. He's stealing lunch. This is great. This is all what would happen. But these guys are also the funniest dudes in school. Yes. So your funniest characters are always going to be the meanest characters. Yep. Yeah. Why in a hockey movie like this, there's, and when there's so many room,

there's so much room for jokes and chirps that they just don't do because they make them all idiots. And if they had made the bullies well-rounded, funny, hateable funny, yeah, that would have bumped. I'm going to give it quality-wise. I'll give it a five-five. I'm pretty close to both you guys and then enjoyment nine come on dude yeah so I'm talking about I had a great time yeah and I had looked because I was just going through IMDB I was like what is this just curious before I go into yeah and all the reviews were fucking shitting awesome I go oh man so I went in with the lowest expectation yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I just had a fucking blast start to finish next thing you know there's a girl in a wheelchair on the ice yeah yeah I was like this is

yeah yeah and one's pretty good eh like one I bet you had a good time too yeah yeah yeah uh dude I So fun. Like, I almost wish that they made Gordon, instead of having him go do wherever the fuck coaching thing he was doing, have him go coach a college team, D4. Dude, do it again. Boom. They're in college.

That'd be so sick, actually, you fucking kidding. They all go to college. They could have set up another Gordon movie. Dude. Sprinkle them in this one, tease them. They're going to go. Dude, we could be in D-15. Yeah, they could have air-budded these movies for sure.

What they should have done is made a fourth and call it D-1, because they're playing D1 college. That would be awesome. And, dude, eventually, because, like, eventually Gordon becomes Hans. You know, like, we're in D-30. Gordon's Hans. You got to imagine Hans gives the pro shop to Charlie.

Yeah, oh, yeah. Charlie's mom. Yeah. She can finally get out of the diner. Just do an honest day's work, dude, for the first time in her life. So you've been slacking in the diner. Why don't you actually fucking work?

You've been crying in the diner all the day. Go home. You're sobbing. All right. Well, that is our wrap-up and review of D3, The Mighty Ducks. Definitely let us know in the comments if we need to take this to other hockey movies, because this has been a blast. Liam, thank you for joining us.

Thank you. And one more note, the acting in this movie, surprisingly great. I went in being like, uh... The timing? Good stuff. It's there. Chemistry between the ducks. You knew that.

Cash. Oh, so good. And you're right. Like, Joshua Jackson, Charlie is like, he's just a good actor. Yeah. Keenan. Yeah. Fucking Pawnee.

What's her name? She's dope. Yeah. But I mean, like, Coach Orion and Bombay are just like chills. Chills movie coaches. You got to put up a picture of what Coach Orion. I looked up the cast, his photo. Dude.

Dude. I saw that too. Dude. I'll show you after, but dude, it's fucking crazy. Well, he doesn't look like a hockey coach at all. He doesn't look that crazy, but it's... But it's not good. It's not awesome. Okay.

It's not the Orion you. Well, you find this picture. Liam, tell all the people where they can find you. Guys, almost Friday podcast. Almost Friday TV. Check it out. Check it up. going on the road this fall.

Got the dates on my Instagram, check it out. Thank you guys for having me. Please come on our show soon. Oh, my God. I would love that. And, yeah, as we do more of these, we might have to have you back. Funniest guys in the biz, everybody go watching.

I want to do another one. Hell yeah. I think we have to. I'm in. Any movie. Let me know. Well, that is it for this episode of the Emptenaders podcast. Thank you again, Liam.

And thank all of you for joining this ride with us. And until we crack our next movie. We love those ducks. Skate Hard.