Empty Netters Podcast - Dylan Larkin Added New Teams To His List And He Needs To Be Traded NOW! w/ Alec Martinez

Episode Date: October 22, 2026

Marty is back in studio! Larkin needs to be moved yesterday and now we’ve got a few more options on the table! The Kings won a game, lets all rejoice! Mikko Rantanen is disgusting. The Florida teams are firing up and the Ducks are in a free fall. Fraud watch and top hits has humiliated Dan. And the blind ranking went off the rails. Chapters: 0:00 - Intro 1:00 - A Correction 4:11 - The Kings Win Their First of the Season 15:24 - Dylan Larkin Expands Trade List 30:45 - Mikko Rantanen's Hatty 40:13 - Stock Market 56:33 - Fraud Watch / Top Hits 1:25:04 - Blind Ranking Halloween Candy PRESENTED by BetMGM. Download the BETMGM app and use code “NETTERS” and enjoy up to $1500 in bonus bets if you lose your first wager! Thanks to our Sponsors! BetMGM: Use bonus code NETTERS when signing up to receive up to $1500 in bonus bets if your first bet loses. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER (Available in the US) 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY) 1-800-327-5050 (MA), 1-800-NEXT-STEP (AZ), 1-800-BETS-OFF (IA), 1-800-981-0023 (PR) 21+ only. Please Gamble Responsibly. See BetMGM.com for Terms. First Bet Offer for new customers only. Subject to eligibility requirements. Bonus bets are non-withdrawable. In partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel. This promotional offer is not available in New York, Nevada, Ontario, or Puerto Rico. When you’re making a big decision, you need the full picture. CarGurus delivers exactly that. You get unbiased deal ratings, price and vehicle history, and all the key details up front—so you know when you’ve found the right car at the right price. Finally, carshopping with total confidence. Buy or sell your next car today with CarGurus at https://www.cargurus.com/?px8324=p81&utm_source=podscribe&utm_medium=brand_audio&utm_campaign=brand_audio_4q2026&utm_content=podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Empty Netters podcast. Can you believe what this has become? There was a full 48 hours where I felt like I was like literally Superman. Jumbo loves playing Fortnite, so he gets on the sticks. Did TR show you the sauna cycle, or was that all year? No, no, I invented that. Almost a year now that I haven't taken a body check. That's kind of nice.

So we are back. We are horned up, and we are going deep. Finish tonight with some chicken fingers and a few guineasas and ran into you guys. That's where this pod came to life. Ice is ready and we're back with another episode of the MT Netters podcast brought to you by BetMGM. Like the video, subscribe to the page, five-star reviews on Apple, Spotify, wherever you get your podcast. It is the middle of week four of the NHL season. It's October 22nd.

We got Dr. Watkins on the sticks. Marty is back where he belongs here on the show. What up, fellas? And CP is right here next to me. and I want to start the show with a little surprise for you. As always, too close for comfort. Last episode, oh shit.

We talked about how great the Bruins are and how awesome they were and how they completed the California sweep. And Chris did a little research and said, is the first time in Boston Bruins franchise history to do a full California sweep. And then about a day later, the Boston Bruins posted on their social media,

fourth California road trip sweep in franchise history. Oh, my God. 19, 22, 22, 23, 23, 24, and now 26, 27. Huge win for Evan, dude. AI, type it into AI, and it goes first time in franchise history. I told you. Human beings, human beings will out. So there we go, and I'd also like to say this, I had this prepared.

See, people blame this on AI, Slaps the internet. Oh my God, I could see that one. But what are you supposed to do? You actually yell at me a lot about this behind the scenes a lot, where I will research something online, come in with a stat, And then Dan will go, we got to be better. And I'm like, I did the research. I wasn't just riffing.

You know, I looked it up. The thing was wrong. I didn't know. How many sources do I have to check, I guess, is my question. What's the alternative? You go to, like, NHL archives and look at it and write it. I'm like, hey, dude, the internet says this. What do you think?

I also had this prepared. It says see people double down and claim that this is not his fault. And you know what, dude? You're right. Well, I mean, here's the thing. Maybe what we should do in the future is, is if we really want to research something, just pause and I'll cut out the long time.

It takes like, if it takes two minutes to verify your source like the fucking New York Times. No, because as much as I'm teasing, I stand with CP on this. Like, that is just a, that's a crazy fuckup by AI. Yeah, if anyone,

if literally anyone was like this, dude, you typed the exact question to chat, GPT, and the Google thing, which I also did. And it split it out. That's what I was going to ask. And it spit it out. And then I'm like this.

I read that thing. And someone goes, this is your fault. I'm like, okay. I think what we've got to do is bibliography and source or cite our source. Well, that's what I'm going to do. We got to go like, yeah, at the end of the podcast. Or just look it up and go like this, according to chat GPT, first time ever.

So then people go like this, chat GPT, idiot. It's ultimate passing the buck. And I actually like, for sure. I had my guy. I checked the thing that everyone told me was never wrong. Actually, he does say, admittedly it does say this. This is like on the ledger. It's like this chat GPT does make mistakes.

The hard thing, too, is that like, yeah. It's believable. Of course it is. You know what I mean? For sure. I mean, that's not easy to do. Go on the road. And then that's Boston to California has got to be one of the furthest. I mean, we know from the Cup a couple years ago that Edmonton to Florida is the furthest Stanley Cup final of all time. But Boston to California is far. So come and do a complete sweep?

It's not what years were it? It was like 22, 23. That's what I love. The fact that you and I don't remember. You were a lot. Is that a bad verified by the way? They did it last year. and we're like this, oh my God.

AI doesn't want you to have the right answer because it wants you to seem incompetent so that it can take your job. Dude, see, this is the long con. They're making us stupid. This is the long con. It's unbelievable. They don't, they're not your friend.

Gentlemen, the Los Angeles Kings have won a hockey game. Woo! Wow. I'll crack again, yeah. To drink some caffeine to that. Unbelievable. The Kings have won a game. How about that?

hard schedule. They had a lot of time off. There's a lot of reasons. The schedule remained hard too. Like the caps are not an easy way. Yeah, they went down to nothing too. I was like, oh my god, this is not good. I want to know, I mean, they go down O-Tib. Battleback, Juice has two goals. Panarin

gets a goal. That's amazing. Q did get hurt, which fucking sucks. We'll see what's up with that. It was like four shifts in, was that? It was pretty early. But this is how they're going to win, right? Kempi starts scoring. Panarin starts scoring. and like that's, this is what has been missing is, you know, their best scores and offensive players have not been scoring and now they score and they win a game. However, we know this about the Kings team.

This group loves the road. Like, they just love the road. And it is hilarious that they literally hit the road for a five-game road trip and immediately win the first game pretty significantly. And I want to know, dude, what is it about the road? Why do people love the road? You bond. Because not every team. Yeah, it's a bonding.

I don't know, it's like you go out there. You're just with the boys. You're going to dinner. You're having fun. There's a lot of good laughs. There's kind of, you don't have the distractions at home. And it's just like all about hockey. Yeah.

You're like, all right. I don't know if it's like extra focus or not, but I don't know. It's a lot of fun. Dude, I miss the road. Okay. I don't miss much. Okay, okay. But like I miss.

I love my family. Yeah. But like, yeah. But like, yeah. Yeah. It loves you guys. If you're listening, yeah, my kids. No, I love my family.

But yeah, it's fun. It's like, who doesn't like a road trip with the boys? Dude, also more importantly, I kind of said this last step, this is the New York trip. And you can't ruin the New York trip. You get one a year. Yeah, it's the best one. You can't fuck it up.

If you go on the New York trip already 0 and 6 and then you find yourself 0 in 10, not only is the New York trip ruined, but your season is ruined. and there's more at stake here than your record. It's the New York trip. Exactly. It's like the one place you can go just, you can go to one spot and not have to move. Yeah.

Like, and it's just, I'm here for six days. Like, I don't know, I always liked it. The way the schedule worked out was we were there around Christmas. So like New York City at Christmas time, like, come on. Yeah, I guess it's kind of Halloween now. Yeah, but that's also fun. Dude, it is so funny. How simple it is.

Like, you just. just said it's a road trip with the boys. And every now and then I feel like we look at games and we see, oh, you know, long road trip, that's going to be tough. You're playing in someone else's barn. That's going to be tough. And then it's as simple as think about getting on a road trip with 20 of your best friends. I don't care what age you are.

That sounds fucking elite. And I wanted to think like, what are the best parts of the road? And I'm bet it's probably every part. Like you're just fucking, dude. The worst part's the end. Oh, my God. Like a long trip, like you're like, all right. You've worn all your clothes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Give me a fucking night in my own bed. Dude, the best parts have got to be the, like, one of the first dinners, you know, like you just got there and there's been, because there's been a lot of chatter of like, where are we hitting, what spots are happening? Like, oh, do you remember this place from last year? Or like, I heard about this new spot.

That first dinner when you're in the new city is so sick. You get the whole trip ahead of you. They're all wins at that point. You know what I mean? You have an undefeated road trip when you sit down to that first dinner. That is a real highlight. Did you bring anything on the road?

Like, did you bring? Like a suitcase? No. Did you just go, yeah. Like a blankie? A specific. Because like, I know some guys will bring their gaming console. Like, guys will bring like an Xbox or like a PlayStation.

No, I didn't. I didn't do that. I guess like at the beginning of my career, I would pack like, we played seven games. I'd pack like four. suits. By the end of my career, I'm like, maybe two shirts. And I'm like, I'll roll the dice. Like, especially, like, you packed like that white shirt and that first pregame meal, you get pasta. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I got to deal with it. I'm going to go buy something. Yeah.

I became like a lighter clothes packer as my career went on. But it also was like, I had more injuries. I was older. And like half my bag basically turned into like a training room. Yeah. Like I had like the hypervolt. I had like this P.m. MF mat, like got real weird with it, like this red light thing. I can so funny see that for you. Putting on the infrared mask all your seatbelt. I'm not doing skin care routines on the road. Easy here. But like, but no, it was, it was funny. Like, yeah, like half my bag was legit a training room. Yeah. Because I had to. That's so awesome. Like, I wasn't sitting there dry needling myself. Yeah, yeah. Norma Tech. I don't know. Oh, yeah, Norma Tech's night before every game.

Yeah. But that's like, that's the other thing, too. It's like, you just get in this routine and it's just all about hockey. Yeah. Have you ever seen guys bring clubs on the road? Oh yeah, certain trips. I don't know, dude. I've seen that, but like it's kind of frowned upon. For sure. Well, unless it's what's planned sometimes. Yeah. It's okay. So like sometimes there's a like a planned team outing. Yeah. Or like team building event. The famous, the famous president that got canceled. But even so like I wouldn't want to be like just rent clubs. Like what like why would you do that? Like the GM sees you like lug in your golf bag? Who the fuck?

You know? Yeah, you fucking better be saying. Yeah, it's like the team dinner and like the guy orders the martini. This is actually a true story. I won't say who it was. Come on. But team dinner the night before we were playing Edmonton when I was with Vegas. And we always did a team dinner at the beginning of the round.

And the waiter walks out and he's got a martini. One. Just a one martini. And so like the GM just like immediately and they're just scanning the crowd. And it was a guy that very much deserved. Dude, that is an all-time prank. ordering one force. Yeah, like a young guy.

Yeah, yeah. Like this, you know what always makes me laugh? Jim Martini with the guy over there. It's the classic, uh, neither seen nor heard vibe. But it's like,

there are guys as we all know who are like, oh no, I, this is my routine. Like I want to have a couple beers the night before a game to stay loose or like, I have a glass of wine every night before a game.

I don't fucking give a shit what the GM says. And there's a part of me that's like, if, if it's working and if that's a guy's routine, I kind of look at the GM and I'm like, shut the fuck up, dude. Like, they're an adult. Like, if this person is playing well, what the fuck do you care if he has a martini before the game?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But it also depends on, like, where you are in the league. Like a young guy, you better not be caught dead. Yeah, yeah. Right? But if you're an older guy and you've earned it, like, and you're not just an absolute booze bag? Like, I don't know. Just, like, don't, it was like fitness testing or, like, just don't give them ammo to yell at you.

Like, you're already going to do enough of that in your play? For sure. throw any extra shit off the ice to be like that they can at least point to like for sure pizza you throw and it's like yeah it's not because you had a glass of wine the night before but the GM could be like it is now but I think my my take is is is there are guys who have earned that martini and it's like you can have it there are other guys who I'm kind of like if I were GM I would be like this go for it have that martini but yeah you fucking blow tomorrow, I'm going to bag you

or I'm going to fucking bomb you. And that's that. And I'm kind of like I would like to live by the like prove it, dude. If you want it, go out there and prove that it didn't fuck you up. But if it does, you're going to pay the price. Because I just want the best product. There's a guy who used to play in the league, I'll tell you after. But there's a guy who used to play in the league.

That was, and dude, I'm not even talking like before games. I'm saying just was like drinking, you know, on the night off or whatever. But the team had an issue with what he was drinking. Like they were like, dude, enough with these, you know, like drink something else. Christ. And he was like, okay. And stopped. And then went on a really bad skid. And they came back to him and they were like,

go back. And he was like, okay. Yeah. They were like literally. So he was like, okay, whatever, fucking. That was like, God, that is amazing. Dude, some guys, you just play better on the sauce. You need a routine. You need to be a little bit tuned up. Like, I've had this. It's like, everyone talks about nutrition. And that's like super important, right? Yeah. But like, there's got to be something where like, if you just feel good. going into a game. Yes. Like, I wanted to so badly, I never did it because I, well, I just chickened out.

But, like, I always wanted to just do, like, one giant ice cream Sunday for a pregame meal and then just roll the dice and see how I play. And then all of a sudden, it's like, I've been fooling myself for the past 16 years, even chicken and pasta. Like, and then, you know, I don't know, what if that was the difference? Dude, could you imagine? When I was like, you go to McDonald's. It's like Chato Chosenko.

Yeah, yeah. McDonald's before every fucking game, guys, an All-Star. And I'm like, guys, stop eating fucking white rice and chicken breast. Loser. Dude, when I was young, my dad, you know, you have like 6 a.m. games and shit. I was young. My dad was getting a coffee at Dunks. And I was like, it's like four in the morning, you know.

And I was like, can I get a donut? And he was like, sure. So I get a donut. We go to the game. I score that night. Then we have another game, 6 a.m. tomorrow. We go to dunks. And I get two donuts.

And I score twice. And my dad was like, fuck. Because I was like, that's not correlation. dude. This is not how it works. Yeah, that was not in at all. Dude, we said going into this road trip, I need the Kings to be three and two

out of these five games and it will quiet some of the talk of like bad things are coming. Do you agree with that? Yeah, I think so. I mean, it's hard like the noise starts creeping in, right? Yeah. Dude, it must be miserable in that room.

But then it's also like the way their schedule has worked out too. It's horrible. Like when you have like, when you throw up a stinker, like, you're like, all right, I want to play tomorrow. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I can get this. But then they've had like three or four days in between to just think about it and practice.

Like, that sucks. But I don't know. I was, I saw when they went down to nothing, but it was like when you're in this situation, it's like you just got to stick with it as hard as that is and then as dumb as that sounds and cliche. But like you have to because it's going to take like one little thing. and it was them going down to nothing. And then really like the momentum shift was obviously

juice scoring and then Panarin getting one right before they went back and then that's what it's like the way you feel then is compared to before then all of a sudden it's like they get the one I mean it's not like they're just super happy with their start now but it's like all right this is behind me like we're in New York. Yeah, yeah. You're a New York trip. That's the Catalina Wine mixer dude.

What's the fuck are we talking about it? Yeah. Tying that before the period ended with. like two of your best goal scorer scoring 100%. Like that is like, all right, boys, let's fucking go. We're back. So that's huge. Love to see it.

Dylan Larkin bumps his trade list to 10 teams. Let me read you guys the teams. The Florida Panthers, the Minnesota Wild, the Vegas Golden Knights, the Dallas stars, the Washington Capitals, the Carolina Hurricanes, the Utah Mammoth, the Tampa Bay Lightning, the New Jersey Devils, and the Colorado Avalanche. Is that just the top 10 teams in the standing? Dude, I wrote down actual... This guy's a genius.

I wrote down actual lull at the Aves, Panthers, and Golden Knights. Because, like, I understand that some of those teams were on his initial list that they haven't changed. But, like, as we said, after the Brady trade, the Panthers still being on there, I'm like this... How? That sounds great, dude. Put the L.A. Dodgers on the list. Maybe go there. I'd like to bang Angelina Jolie.

At least a fucking shot, didn't it? It is so funny, and you're right. and Merle's made this joke. He was like, he literally went on Ben MGM and looked at the top 10 chances of winning the Stanley Cup and was like,

give me these teams. And, dude, I love this. Like, it is, so many people have been like, Larks, you gotta, you gotta add the list. You gotta add to the list, you gotta grow that number.

And he goes like this, okay, dude, and then just drop down the odds. And it's like, how about these teams? Yeah, suck it. Fuck it, send me to a good team. Dude, it is awesome.

But Dan, and I think you both just said this. I'm like, hell yes, bro. I think it's hilarious. Has he been in play? I'm actually, I'm too scared to look up anything on AI now, but like, how many times is Dylan Larkin? I'll look it up.

I think one time. Like, Dylan Larkin has not been in the playoffs. I think he's played in playoffs one time and it was like his second year, but that might even be wrong. You know, so the wings haven't made the playoffs since 1617. I think he made it early in his career. That's what I'm saying. When they were on that 22 years. 2016.

That's the only time. Shut up me. So I'm like, the idea that he would put a team on here that. isn't guaranteed to be in the playoffs is it would be the dumbest thing of all time i'm like dude you were wasting time the fat like the devils are the only sketchy one on this list in terms of like lock playoffs i would say but but yeah but then i'm like you're going to get then then it's helly and quay it's now i'm like i wanted to look at this list and like how many of his u.s olympic teammates are on each of the team dude it's a ton it's a lot i i mean we obviously know the panthers

we obviously know the wild we obviously know the golden nights the stars is otter Otter, yeah. And that's it. Yeah, could be robo in the future. Caps is no one. There's Americans on that team, like Tucky and Cole. But I don't think anyone was on that team. Mammoth is Trocheck.

Yeah. And Kells. And Kells, obviously. Hurricane Slavo. Yep. Um, bolts is Gensel. Gensel?

Gensel. Devils, we know. Abs is Nelson. And that is it. Speaking of the bolts, how nasty was Vasselowski last? Unbelievable. Dude, he's, unbelievable. He's like 32. We're going to talk about that.

Hold on, hold on. Sorry. Sorry. I'm John with the gun. I want to stay on here. The funny thing about this is the devils, in my opinion, are, I am going to go ahead and say, objectively the worst team in this list. And ironically, maybe the last team that needs him.

Because like, interesting. Yeah. They have centers. They have Jack. They have he sure. I'm kind of like, I think that's a long term playing. We know from the, from the Olympics that Larks can play on the wing. But I'm kind of like, are you going to trade for Dillen Larkin and move him to wing? Probably not. So that I think is funny. Yeah. I'm going to throw some shit. there. Yes, dude. Yes, yes, yes. Because we need him, we need him gone. If you say right now that Dylan Larkin is a third line center, I'm going to kick you out of this

building. No chance. Okay, thank God. That guy's natural. I love Larson. Me too, dude. He's one of my favorite players ever. He just does things the right way. He does all the time. He's also the and he'll do anything. He's the best guy. Yeah, best. I played worlds with him a couple times, but good Michigan boy

too. But speaking of, is he talking to helly to see where maybe he lands. One billion percent. And that has to do with this. One billion percent. Like, is there, like, some, you know. One billion percent. I am going to say.

That would make sense. I'm a little disappointed that the Bruins aren't on this list. Because I think that they are such a good fit for him. But, and some USA teammates. Like, Sway, MacWan. Like, go play with them, dude. But this is, officially, this is him being like, I do not want to go to Boston for the first time. But they've only swept California once.

And that's why they didn't make the list. story history. Like they are one of the oldest teams in the league, dude. They did it one time. Oh man, I'd love to see him in Utah. Okay, but I wanted to talk about more so than anything. Dude, at what point is this getting silly? Dan, 10 days ago. Truly, I said in early September. Which one? The Larks or the Helley Park? Let's talk about both. I think they're kind of in the exact same category. Yeah. To me, dude, in early September, I was talking about this and I was like, the Detroit Red Wings and the Winnipeg Jets, I am staring you in the eyes, get this fucking trade done. It just looks so dumb and so bad every single day that goes by that you do not

trade these people. It becomes a distraction. It's such a distraction. You saw Maddie Nyes make that comment about Marchenko. He was like, it would have been miserable having a guy here all season who doesn't want to be here. And I think a lot of people were like, ooh, that's a pot shot at Marchenko. And I was like, I don't think he's. No, no, it's not true. I think he's, I think he's, I think it, You could take that statement as it would have been miserable for us, but also for him. Like he's like, that's my friend. Like, it would have sucked to see him be like, I don't want to be here. I just can't believe that these teams, and I get it.

All the fans are like this, well, we're not going to accept a shit trade. But I'm like, dude, we're 10 games into the season. This is crazy that neither of these guys have been traded. Dude, it's so, it's so dumb, Dan. And my favorite is Hellies, per Elliott Friedman. Helly's suspension is being lifted on Friday. And that one's even like, I'm almost like, you either had to just keep him suspended.

No, but they said they were like, but he's still going to stay away from the team. They're just going to pay him now. Because remember that tracker that, they're basically going, you're not suspended, you're getting paid, but you are not going to be with the team. Yeah, I'm like. It's like the lotto ticker,

but it's just all the money that he's lost. I think if I'm Larks or Heli, I go full terrorist mode. here. Like I would start sabotaging the facilities. I would start, I would start spreading rumors. And just start small, like farting in the trading room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone's like, put like a dead fish in the ceiling vent or something. And this building's cursed. Unless I get out of here. You know what? It's probably me. I'm probably the curse. You got to get me out of here. Just like start wreaking havoc around the, around the facility and the offices and just force your way out.

Dude, I have a take, Dan. Larkin keeps, per the request of, I would say, the general public, keeps bumping his trade list out. Okay, fine, these teams. Okay, fine, these teams. I actually think he needs to tighten it up. To literally one. This is decision paralysis for the wings. He needs to go like this.

Trade me to the wild. Yeah, he makes one right now. He's like a cheesecake fast. That's what I'm saying. Dude, like, right now the wings are like, god, devil's fucking ass. Do I go? This is what I'm saying. The hangar stage?

Like there's too many pages here. Like send me to one of those restaurants that literally has one thing on the back. I'm telling you, please. If he comes back and he goes like this, I'm playing for the wild by next week. Figure it the fuck out. Yeah. Okay. And then you get it done.

Man, I, the thing that is so funny is like, you know better than anyone. The Golden Knights have shown us year after year that they just make shit work with trades and stuff. But I'm genuinely looking at every single one of these teams. and with the exception of the Canes, Mammoth, and Devils, I'm kind of like none of these teams can make this work. Certainly not for both of them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They can make it work, but they just got to give up something.

But, like, so many of them don't have anything to give up. Like, I look at the Panthers. If they're trying to trade a first-round pick, which we know is the asking price for both of these players, at least one, their next first-round pick is like 20-30. Yeah. It's not that bad, but it's like a lot of these teams are, like, pretty close. Well, I think you could probably count out.

a few of those on a list. 100%. Yeah. 100%. Like to me, the Panthers, the Golden Knights, and frankly,

probably the abs and lightning. I'm like, there's just no way. And aren't those the new teams? Like, the new additions to this list are like the abs and lightning, right?

Is that what it is? I think the new teams on this list for Larks are the Canes, Capitals, mammoth, and Devils. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Caps would be kind of interesting. I just don't, like, they just made a bunch of moves, yeah. Like they went out and they got tuck.

They went out and they got Kairn. They went out and they got Kairu. Yeah, like they got Kairu. Like I don't know what they can do either. Sorry, who are the ones that were added? We think. I believe the teams added are the capitals, Cain's, mammoth,

and devils. And honestly, maybe the abs. Like I think the original list was the Panthers Wild Knights, lightning, and stars, I think. Yeah.

So piggybacking off my point would, any of those teams that he added be willing to change their goalie situation. Oh, oh, I mean, the Cains. I think the abs a hundred percent, brother. Like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say, I know abs. Yes, dude. I know Aves fans are going to want to, like, ride for their boys.

But I promise you as much as they love the woods, if they snapped their fingers and Conor Helibuck was in that in Colorado, every Aves fan would be like this. And we've won the, yeah. Fuck. And like, the abs have been leaky this year. for sure. Like we are not getting the same Wedgwood as we had last year. Shocker.

Who thought that was going to happen? Who said that in the previews? I know, yeah. I know we're making a lot of jokes, but I want to bring it back to like a player's perspective. These guys. And I think I touched on it. The thing, things change when you turn 30.

Yep. Hellebuck is 33. Larks is now 30. Yeah. I think the whole genesis of all of this is that, And I don't, you know, I don't know for sure. But like putting myself in their shoes, they catch a taste of winning, right? And they win a gold medal.

This is unbelievable. Guys get together. I think I talked about this on the pod. Yeah. Oh, dude. You did. Yeah. All of a sudden, you have this like congregation of guys that are from scattered all around

the league. Guys talk. All of a sudden it's like, you're on the road with the boys in Milan at the Olympics. and it's like you're getting together all the time and guys just start throwing around experiences, stories, blah, blah. Well, then all of a sudden they get this taste and like these guys, they

realize they're like, all right, I'm 30. Like, I want to be somewhere. I want to win a Stanley Cup. As much as the guys love winning a gold medal, I think the Cup is like obviously the holy grail. 100%. So then I think they go back and they kind of reevaluate

like, where am I at? Where is this organization at? I'm on the latter half of my career. I'm on the battle. nine, like, I want to win. Dude, and how about this? Compete for the cup. And competing.

Winning. Like, he hasn't even been in the mixer. That's the scary thing about being. Like, I look at the humans. Like, we can all make jokes. And yeah, I think, like, a lot of this has become a distraction. It's become a lot to talk about. But it's like, if you look at these guys as a player, like, they just want to win.

And if they don't see that their own backyard is being taken care of the way that they want to and put in a spot to win, well, then that's why they're doing, like, what they're doing. Yep. 100%. I don't know. We've said for a long time, I support this. Like, it sucks. I feel I'm a, and I'm not saying you guys aren't supporting it. No, no, like, I've loved the wings forever. Yes, dude. Yeah, no, we've talked about it. I've loved the wings forever. And I love that city.

I love that fan base. And this objectively sucks from there. Yeah. Like, it sucks for them. I live through it. I loved it. But I am sitting here being like this. I have zero issue with this. I respect it. I just, I think I cannot get over how insane it is that this is still going on. Like, every single day that these two aren't traded blows my fucking mind. Dude, that was like, if I were- At least Winnipeg has a GM. Yeah, Detroit doesn't even, like I guess they do now. But it was Fred, it was insane, like how long that went on.

But, dude, Larks, yes, like, he requested this trade before the Cup was even won. Yeah. And I'm like, how have you let this go on? And it's just like, dude, I honest to God, I cannot believe it. And I need it to happen. Yeah. Because it's also one of those things too where, oh, this is the other question I wanted to ask you guys. Who do you think this sucks more for, the team or the player?

Because I know, I mean, Connor Hellebuck is literally not playing hockey. Yeah. But I'm sure there's a part of Larkin that's also like he finally got in the lineup, scored and had an assist in his first game immediately. First star too. Yeah. So kind of nails. Oh, so nails.

But there's also an element where we talked about the mindset, the distraction, there's no way he's in his game as well as he can be. And that fucking blows for him because he's like, when I do get traded, I'm going to show up so rusty and not on my game. That would piss me off so much. Dude, talking to. Think about Hella buck, dude. He has not played NHL hockey.

That's what I was going to say. So you go and trade for him and you're like this. You're starting now. And he's like this. I haven't seen an NHL show. in fucking five months. Way harder on the goal. Talking to Sway.

I want to know who in Detroit's shooting on him right now. Yeah, yeah, right. Is he in Detroit right now? I mean, he's from there. I would assume he is. That is hilarious. Actually, I think, didn't Emily Kaplan say that last night that she hasn't. Yeah, I saw her on ESPN during like the frenzy.

That he's, he's taken shots in Detroit trying to stay game ready. Incredible. But she was unable to confirm who was shooting on it. And I'm like, I was dying laughing. I'm like, all right. Oh, bro, that is so funny. This is the JFK mystery. Which school's closer to the city?

Like how far... Like state or... Yeah, yeah. Might even be something else. Probably Ann Arbor. Ann Arbor. Yeah. Like some of the boys are popping down the weekends.

But like we would... It's fucking me. Yeah, that is so good, dude. We cannot confirm it. It reminds me of like back in the day. I was skating in the summer growing up in Detroit, and it was the lockout. And Manny Legacy came out.

Wow. In trash. It was awesome. And I was like, I'm shooting on Manny Legacy right now. All time. But yeah, that's Connor Hella Buck.

He's just at Open Skate. Yeah, it's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, anyone need a sub in the late game? They're like, God, we got 10 straight shutouts. He's incredible. He's on the bench app. Isn't that what it is?

Yeah, yeah. You need a fill in. Yeah. Connor Hella Buck. God, that is so good. Last hot ice, especially from last night, Miko Ranton is a pervert.

Dude, he's an absolute pervert. He is such an interesting case because rarely have we seen, God, maybe Marner, but that was kind of like the Leafs were in like blow it up mode. Rantan, I feel like it kind of got lost in the shuffle of how many moves happened with him in that run there and then he ended up in division or whatever. Miko Rannin is so good.

It's crazy. The idea that you were, the idea that the abs were like a leaf. I was like, what? Yeah. It's, he, he reminds me of Cooch so much. in ways that are like, he's called Moose for a reason. He is,

I feel like people don't think of him as much of a beast as he is, but he's fucking huge. And I think there was a play with McAvoy. I think it was Moose, where he was like barreling into the zone and McAvoy had to like reach

to poke a puck out and they both just hit so hard and McVo was huge too. And I was like, oh, like I, there was a part of me that was like, that might have just broken McAvoy's collarbone or dislocated his shoulder. Or hurt moose because it was just two cinder blocks smashing against each other.

But he's huge and then has so much skill and can completely take over a game. But it's weird with Ranton because I feel like he doesn't, he's not talked about as one of the best players in the league. It's crazy. Because like some night, I feel like he's just like this. So he plays in Dallas. Not going to do it tonight. And yeah, that is a factor too. Even Colorado.

Like anything west in the Mississippi. You just don't get, you don't hear about him as much. It's true. And he, but dude, it's like last night, Boston leading all game, they win three, two in overtime. He scores all three goals. And this overtime goal, we're watching it right now. It's like, it's just insane.

That backhander, like, just the, the, the, the, Zodorov is standing in front. He's keeping a stick in the lane. I, I don't even think Zadorov plays it poorly at all. Like, he's playing the pass. Yeah, yeah. But just like to get inside like that and in a split second. shelf that backhander over Swayman's left shoulder who played insane in that game. It's just like it's unfair.

Like I don't understand how you're supposed to defend it. Dude, he's just such a force. He is. He's so good. That OT winner too, that Zadarov, like that's such a hard spot. It's impossible. It's impossible. I hate that.

Because look, Wyatt Johnson's right behind him. Like, what are you supposed to do? He's got the stick out there. Like, he plays it well. He plays it well. And like, why it is so funny. Like, look at why it's stick. Yeah, he's just like, if this gets to my stick, it's a guy.

I will hire it into the open net. And then Ranting does that and why it's just like, Jesus Christ. Like that's hard too, because that was, what, a four on three? Yeah, yeah, yeah, another weird spot to be in. I guess maybe Zedorov would want to not drift back as much if he could do it all over again. But, like, he played it well. Like, he played it well. Like, it's hard.

God. But, yeah, I watched, there was a play. I thought you were going to bring it up. but I tuned in and he, when you were talking about taking over a game, like he protected the puck and then I think Fraser Minton ended up getting a stick on it. Yes, he did.

And he poked it out. He trolled off to the wall. Yeah, but he was like driving around. Like, I think he went around the back of the net and he was carrying around the top of the zone. But like there was just no one that was going to take the puck from him. And he's just, that's what I mean where he can, or where I agree, like he can take over a game.

And he's just such a big body. Yeah. those guys get the puck, like you just kind of have to be patient and just follow them around. Kind of like how Minton did. Like, he played it really well. I was about to say, shout out Minton.

He actually played that very one. He got the stick check. Like the initial one, he kind of got bumped off. Like Moose just like pushed him off. I was like, Jesus. Yeah. But then he stayed with it

and actually got a good stick check on him. And I was like, well done. You just have to stay patient and wait for like a chance. Yeah, bother, yeah. You're just like, I'm just going to let him do his thing. Like I'm not going to knock him over.

Agree. Yeah. And it's like, it's when you do get impatient. That's when you get beat. And he's probably like, I mean, I never had the skill like this, but he's probably waiting for that too. Yes, definitely.

It's like the good offensive guys that wait for the D man to cross over and then they go the other way. Like that club wasn't in my bag, you know? Like I'm not beating anyone one-on-one. But yeah, no, it's, he's nasty. So with Dallas, they've won three in a row now. I have said like this, I mean, this is one of my rider, this is my central rider. die team. But they're assholes. Like they do this every year. They just like lose random games that

you're like, what are you guys doing? And here they are now, though, three wins in a row. They got a plus eight gold diff. They're five, three and one. And it's, I think it's funny talking about this shit 10 games into the season. But here we are yet again. What is it going to take for this team to win a Stanley Cup? Because I look at their roster as we do every year. I look at forwards, I look at D and I look at goaltending and I'm like this, you literally have everything you need. They're so good. Dude, dead ass. First of all, they've been a little

unlucky with hell. The answer literally might be luck. Yeah. Like, as we always say, you need luck to win a Stanley Cup. And it's, I am going to lose my mind if we go through this Dallas core and this run and they just never win

because they're like this. We just got unlucky everything. Well, I'll say this. You do need luck obviously. And they've had some brutal health luck. Like guys getting hurt right before playoffs or like didn't hints like take that shot off the foot or no he got that. Bush fucking chopped down on top of his foot.

Just like those are bad breaks, literally. But I would say that the scoring has dried up a couple times when they have all this firepower and then they're like, oh my God, no one has a goal. Like Moose had that epic hatty to beat the abs in game seven and then like they never scored again, you know? and Otter hasn't been that good in the playoffs. And I love him.

And this year he's been fucking unconscious so far. So I'm like, come on. You see if three shutouts? Dude, it's insane. Like his numbers are moronic. Him and Sway have been preposterous so far this year. So it's unfortunately it's going to take your stars to be stars in the playoffs and they haven't quite done that yet.

Pun intended. Speaking of Sway too, those two breakaway saves and O T. All against why. That was nasty. Dude, he had two, those were both in OT. You're right. And then he had another one later in OT on Wyatt again. And I was like, Wyatt Johnson must be like, fuck off.

Yeah. Jesus Christ. But back to Dallas. I feel like that's why like all the talk, like they're a piece away. Yeah, yeah. You just need like something to teeter them over the house. But I don't know what it is. Is it Dylan Larkin?

Oh my God. It's Larks. Get it Dallas. Yeah. I don't know what it is. Because it is like, I mean, the consistency of, I mean, Miko Ranton is won a Stanley Cup. Tyler Sagan has won a Stanley Cup.

Hell yes. I look at Amiro Haskinen. He's one of my favorite D-Men in the league. I think Harley is amazing. I think Lindell is amazing. Otter's obviously great. Robo is like the most consistent fucking player of all time. Wyatt is discussed.

I don't know. I don't know what they need. They have the roster to win. That's what I'm saying. This roster could win a cup. Like I don't know what it is, but like you were right, I do think they do need to make a move. But it's like, it's confusing, right? Because like, they picked up Granny that one year. It didn't work. They picked up, um, uh, Tanev that one year to

like add a little more. I got Salkarello and he broke his arm. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Like it's been, they've been unlucky and then they've just like had a couple, I thought, good pickups that just like didn't. It dried. It's up to. That's what I'm saying. They've dried up in bad times. But it's like the Dallas, the Dallas stars are so good. They have. everything. They just need something to click one time. It's unbelievable. Let's take an ad break and let's buy some stock and some teams. Holy smokes, we've got bets cooking all weekend, all season in the NHL, and you've got to get on board with us because you've got to join that BetMGM family because they got something special. It's the NHL Parlay boost token. You can make any NHL Parley

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that promo code netters. That's N-E-T-T-E-R-S. Then you get a new player offer. Then you can get dialed in on the Hattrick Jackpot. You can get dialed in on the NHL Parley Boost token. They have so much fun action. I get a bunch of futures dialed in. You can take a look at the odds. They're always changing with each win. Pick a cup winner now. You'll be happy. Pick a few. Pick a few now. And then when the playoffs start, you'll go, oh my God, I have tickets on these three teams. How about that? So much action on bad MGM because they always make it legendary. All right. Getting into the stock market, teams were buying stock. in and I want you guys to chime in whenever you want.

Yep. I add a couple, but I'm going to switch up my order because of last night. Okay. I think I'm officially buying stock in the Tampa Bay Lightning. Uh, yes. But this is a kind of funny one where you've said before, you know, shouldn't we have already had stock? Shouldn't we have already owned Lightning shares?

I don't think so. Because, and you know what's happening? And Marty, I want your take on this. You have been brainwashed again. because last year when they lost in the first round again and then we had guys like Vassie doing

great post games where he was like I am so sick of the excuses of like Coop was being like oh you know like we played great we just got unlucky you know this that and he was like dude no like if we are going to be a Stanley Cup contender every year we can't lose in the fucking first round every year and I was like I am officially

taking the lightning off of this oh we're they're so good we're we're, you know, we're not going to hold them to this high standard anymore because they've earned it because of Coop and their two cups and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I need this team to get past the fucking first round again before we keep talking about them like this. So yes, I was not buying stock, but now I am buying stock for a couple of reasons. Number one, Brandon Hagel. Yeah, dude, he's so fucking good. Brandon Hagel is a superstar.

Yep. He is a, I am putting him in that echelon of superstar. Like, he is, he has emerged as, in my opinion. more valuable to this team than Braden Point and Jake Gensel. Okay. I think I will hear that. And Point is an interesting one because two years ago and even a few before that, I was like, Braden Point is like, disgusting.

Is it disgusting and is the best player on the lightning? He's taken the throne from Stammer and Cooch and everybody. And then last year he was clearly hurt. I mean, he literally didn't, couldn't go to the Olympics after. being one of the automatics. So he was obviously hurt. That's not a project. You know, I'm not making that up.

But they do need him to be like the guy he is. And if he's not, I do have a different opinion of the lightning all of a sudden because I'm like, oh shit. Yep. He's got six points so far this year. For sure. But I just like, he should be a 110 point guy. I think the biggest fear about buying stock and the lightning to your point is the regular season almost doesn't matter anymore. where I'm like, way in a round.

Like, where's Kooch in the playoffs? I can't answer these questions until playoffs come again. So it's like, fuck. I know. But again, the reason I'm buying stock is because, in my opinion, Hegel, well, A, Vassi's performance last night.

Yeah. Was insane. That was a huge, I think, statement win going into Vegas. I thought, I don't, I mean, I might be biased, but I don't think that the score was indicative of how the game went. I think they both created really good chances. I think Veselhevsky was.

was like he was the difference maker. No question. No question. The thing that I like about them, well, I think it's going to come down to health. Like you kind of mentioned with them. It's like you need point to stay healthy. You need Sorrelli to stay healthy.

You need Vla or Vass to stay healthy. And we talk about it a lot like John Carlson, Victor Hedman, like they're older guys who are super important on the D that you need to stay healthy. But good segue into my next point. I think I think that they show. up their decor this year.

And I think that's going to be the biggest difference. Okay. People, I mean, like... Adding Carlson, I know he's older, but like...

No, dude, he was so good. He's nasty. Yep. And no, headman in playoffs last year. Like, don't forget... Moser, McDonough... And Moser...

And Moser... Dude, he's actually nasty. Yeah. Like, a lot of you were like, oh, Moser, that's a decent pickup for them when they got it. Moser's sick. Like, he's a very good hockey player.

I'd put this six up against just about anyone in the week. Dude, I said that I was looking at Dallas. sounds like this roster can win, this roster can win. I know they've lost in the first round a billion years in a row, but that exact roster with no changes can win a country. But then you have Coup too. Yep.

And you have all these guys that have done it before. Yeah. I don't know. Yep. You're right, CP. Like, you got to, you got to get to playoffs and change the narrative. Again, though, I see that performance by Vassi last night, and I'm kind of like, Vassie.

I know he won the fucking Vesna last year, but I'm like, he's still doing it. But if Hagle takes this, jump of like I am a superstar 100 point guy he's the I mean he performed so well last playoffs he is the type of guy that might be like they kind of look to him of like you

are now like the you know you're the offensive weapon leader that we're going to follow you remember that game last year that was so sick yeah remember that game yeah he was nuts that was all the time he was doing everything he looks insane it's like two fights like two goals I was like holy shit

he was angry truly man like I like I Brandon Hagle is a superstar. I don't think he is a star player. I think he's a star player. I mean, if he, if he's, last two years, 35, 36 goals, if he can give you 40 goals this year, he already has seven and 90 points his career high. I mean, like, God, if he gives you 40 goals and, like, starts pushing 100 points, then that's such an extra weapon.

Yeah, the thing, though, with him, though, he plays with jam. Oh, dude. So that's what he brings that other element. Yeah. Like, he's a, he's a motherfucker. Yeah. Like, he fights people. He gets in dirty areas.

He takes, like, nasty penalties, which I like, and I don't mean, like, dirty. but like he'll fuck someone up and be like that was probably a penalty and I'm like I like that dude he definitely has become a little swagger yes dude he has become kind of not the face of the team

but it almost feels like he's the guy the boys look to to be like get us going you know the cooch is better than him I think most people on the team would say yeah yeah he drives the way you want to put that's what I'm trying to say yeah yeah he like sets a press

yeah yeah yeah yes the one thing I think that matters with Tampa too is how Florida does dude and it's such an awesome I love it. I love it. It's such an awesome rivalry. But I think they drive each other.

And I think Tampa is fucking kick. Obviously, you never want to lose in the first round. But I think Tampa kicks themselves even harder for last year because Florida was gone. They had that pat. You know, they were like, oh, my God, Florida's out. We can run now. And you just got beat in the first round. Perfect segue.

I think the other team I'm buying stock in right now is the Florida Panthers. Dan, and I got to say, some people in the comments were pissed because we didn't talk about the four haddies last episode. I was going to say it's easy to buy stock when. But that's my point. and more revenue than SpaceX. Yeah, but like, it's fucking... I wish I was, I wanted, you want to buy Apple in the 80s, dude, me too.

They got three ones in a row. But then we always talk about when you make a trade or a big move and it works out immediately, that's fantastic. After all the shit talk of Brady's slow start, who are the two leaders of the team in points? So funny, dude. Matthew Kach and Brady Kach. That's actually fucking. Brady Kach

leading the team in goals, both of them over a point per game. And like, I think Markstrom's hurt right now. You got hitting a with a fucking pocket in a practice? Dude, like, what? What are you guys doing? I can't have that. But like, Marky looks good.

Who hit him? Who hit him? Who hit him? Heard practice is such a kick. It's just. And Marty, what if it's your, what if it was your shot? Like, what do you say to everybody? Oh, it's horrible.

You're like this. My bad, dude. I hit, I hit Quicky in the nuts one time in playoffs. I was like. In playoffs? Yeah, in warm ups. Oh my God. And he ended up getting off the ice.

Yeah. And I was like, I'm dead. I'm cut. Yeah. I'm gone. My career's over. That is horrendous. I've never had more anxiety other than the story that I told you guys before we were on air.

So I know it's a lot. So I know it's a lot. I confirmed a lot of anxiety. So I know it's a lot. I don't know, man. We can keep this one quick. But for me, dude, it was I kept saying with Barkov out again, Marci out, I wondered, I wondered where they would need to be in six weeks.

when those guys come back for them to feel comfortable. And if they keep playing like this, I mean, now we'll see with Marks from out a couple weeks. That's going to be five games or so. I just think if you've got the Kachuk brothers leading the charge and you've won three straight, you feel pretty fucking good. Dan, I had said, and you agreed that they could be several points out of playoffs when they get all their horses back and I wouldn't actually be worried about them.

They have the team to come back. But yeah, I think the fear of God goes into the rest of the league. if they are comfortably in playoffs and then get Marci and Barksstrom and Marksdorf or Barkoff and Markstrom back. For sure. Yeah, Bruchamp. What a tandem.

Are we doing Stanley Pop? What a day. Parkstrom. What a day. That is a great Stanley Pop. Yeah. Jacob Barkstrom. Yeah.

Go adopt the dog. Come on. Is there anyone you guys like or should we get to the chair of disappointment? That I'm buying stock in? Yeah, yeah. And again, it's like there's, as we always say, There's plenty of teams that we, everyone has stock in.

Teams that are leading their divisions who are just fucking wagons like Carolina. Yeah, yeah. You know, no one we haven't already said. Yeah. All right, I think we can kick it to the chair of disappointment. We're going to stay in California. The Hannah Hydecks. Stuff.

And dude, you, this is a, this is a big swing for you. Because even as recently as Monday, when they had lost the two straight to the fucking flames, no offense, that's your team actually. Right, or not. Tank, let's go, Whitey. Tank, tank, tank. And then the bees, when being up to nothing, you were even like, because I was kind of dogging them in our tears,

and you're like, dude, they're not, they're fine. But now you're like, I'm officially disappointed. They have lost four in a row. Yeah. And here's my take. We, with all the craziness, with the flyers off for sheet and all the crazy contracts and seeing if they can even field the team, they came out so hot.

they stuck it to Danny Breyer. It was great. Now they've lost four in a row, in my opinion, with some bad losses in there. And I know they've got some people injured and all that, but my take is you've got Leo Carlson, Cutter-Go-Tier,

and I'm going to throw our boy, Tristan Lunoz in there. And Jackson Lecombe, Minchikoff, they've recently signed big deals too. You've got all these guys who are all 25 or younger, who are rich as fuck. I think they've just been drunk this whole time.

Dude, I think that they've been partying, they've been buying fun shit, and they've just been buzzing on that. But now we're like 10 games in, and the booze has worn off. And they're coming back down to reality. And they're hung over. Yeah, they're hung over.

Yeah, they're hung over. But they're hung over in Newport Beach. Yeah. Yeah. Just sitting on the beach, dude. And they like come back and they're like, oh, for me, this is classic lottery. This is a classic place of any lottery winner.

Like, you know how you always hear like, Oh, this guy, this fucking random fuck won the powerball. And I'm like, his life's perfect now. And then immediately you're like, he's, no friends, everyone's a band, he's bankrupt. This is what's happened. The entire duck won the lottery. And now they're supernova.

Yeah, yeah. Those first six games were fucking electric, man. But like now it's just like, oh shit. We're out of control here. But I mean, can they get it back on track? For sure they can. But I do think with all that chatter, and then starting as hot as you did,

you don't need to stay that hot, but you can't fall apart. The wheels can't come off. That's why. They're ruining their New York trip. They're ruining their New York trip. And actually, I didn't even realize it was the New York trip,

and now I'm sad. That is why. They did the New York trip too early. They need to go Christmas. Dude, and they doing it at the same time as the Kings? Like, does that always happen that way? No. Like, were you guys always on the East Coast swim with the ducks?

No, but I guess like every once in a while you run into a team, like you overlap. For sure. You're in a restaurant and you're like, what the fuck? And like off the top of my head, like the one team I think I remember running into the most was Anaheim. Interesting. Maybe it does happen. We should look into this.

We had like our rookie party in Florida. Like we were and then we both ended up at the same spot. Like not the same restaurant, but after. And I like, I walk in and you're like, this is our rookie party. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, well, we like we. This is, we don't like each other. Yeah.

And nothing against him, obviously. No. I've heard he's a good dude. But like, we're just supposed to. You're our rivals. Yeah. Dude, we were somewhere once, and the caps and the Canucks were there, same exact thing that you described.

That was weird. And we were like, I have friends on both teams. I was like, oh, sick. So I was just going back and forth. Then I was like grabbing some of the caps guys being like, come, come say hi. And they were like, no. Actually, yeah. For some reason, it's like awkward.

It was. It was weird. It's like when you run into your teacher at the grocery store or something. You know what I mean? Like, like, oh, dude. Awful. This is not where I want to see. Yeah, exactly.

No. The thing with Anaheim, though, I think it's, I said it last time, it's like these young guys that are all of a sudden thrusted into the position where you are the one that has to produce every night. Like, you're getting paid the big bucks. Like you. On you now. Yeah, it's on you.

And that's, it's like a learning curve. The only one who's actually producing is Beckett Seneca and he's incredible. And he's the one who hasn't signed. And he's the one who hasn't signed. And it turns out he's the best player on the team. And that is hilarious because now they, like, literally he's like, I'm the best player on this team. And then when he is up, he's going to be like this. Well, Leo gets 18 and I'm better than him.

So I'm like, fuck, dude. Amazing. Take 25 business. Thanks. Yeah. All right. Ducks, you're in the disappointment chair. We're not mad.

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Neepfoods.com. check it out. All right, it's time to get into Fraud Watch and Top Hits. Evan, I feel like you've got an axe to grind today. Maybe you should start with it. No, I honestly don't have one today.

Well, I mean, I could, but I think we're going to, we have a guest here. I think we should save mine for next one. Okay, okay. I think when there's a guest, I'll, I will abstain. That is very gentleman. I like it. Yeah, you kind of want to hear it, though.

Do you have one or do you don't have one? I'll tell you afterwards. but I can also say it for next. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I, hey, I always. Martini for the man over there, please. I always have a fraud watch. A top hit's a little harder these days.

Yeah, yeah, right. It's like, giving someone the shopping cart in the parking lot, you're thinking that you're a good person. It's like, no, that person just doesn't want it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just saved me in a. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, Marty, do you want to start out? Are we, are we starting out with, like, a top hit or a fraud? We can do whatever you want. We usually do fraud, but maybe we switch it out. But if you're fired, if you're particularly, fired up about your top eight you can start with you uh no um i mean that sounded bad yeah yeah i don't like i'm excited i actually don't have one um Evan you go Evan you go he didn't do his however it's actually yeah

Evan has offers to get no none of us have all right we're going fraud watch okay I actually have a few but i feel like i should yeah i should uh maybe save them save save them We'll be doing this more often. All right. This might sound like a little boozy, but... Good. Good. I'll tell you what?

I'm going to love this. Whatever this is, I'm going to love it. The arrow on parking lot. Yeah, yeah. Hey, that's a good one. Find my... On your iPhone sucks. Dude, well...

Whoa. Go on. Go on. Because we had a massive rescue mission recently. We literally found Danny's phone in Dallas with Fine Mine. So it doesn't suck. It doesn't suck. Well, sometimes it does.

Okay. Maybe, all right. Continue. Like, it doesn't suck for the phone, but for anything else. I was worried about to say this. Like, if I'm trying to find, like, my headphones. Yeah. Well, I don't have any of those.

Dude, Marty's like, Barty's like, Five-by sucks. There's no friends. Like, I go to the people. He's always. Using it like a dating app. I thought find my friends was going to find me friends in the city. What the fuck? Maybe that's why I didn't meet my wife.

Yeah. Fuck it out. Look at all the wrong place. Okay, so all the other devices. Yeah, like all the other devices. Like, I don't know. My kids like pick up my AirPods and like then I can't find them. And then I just, it just does the little, like sometimes it tells me that like the lights,

like if I get up in the middle of the night, like with the kids or whatever, they're like, oh, there's not enough brightness in the room. I'm like, what does that have to do with anything? You know? I don't know. I just like, it's one of those things where it like never works for me and then I just get so frustrated. Yeah.

And then I have to sit there and stewing my own thoughts on a run. Yeah. Or a workout. Which is a nightmare. Which is a scary person here. Yeah. Oh yeah. Dude, I hate when it's like the AirPods and the circles my whole house.

Yeah. I'm like, yeah. So it's here. Yeah. At least you know. Yeah. You know what sucks about it too is it's like we're playing a, we're playing a sound so you can find it.

And it's like the most. quiet. It's like, couldn't you? I want it to be a shotgun blast. It's the fucking iPod. How loud do you expect an iPod case to be able to make an noise? I know, I know. But it just doesn't help. Yeah, like it's the fact that even has a speaker is impressive.

No, but I feel like sometimes it's either the loudest thing ever and wakes up my entire house at 5 a.m. Yeah, fair. Or I just can't hear it. That happens. Or it just doesn't work. It just sits there with the perpetual spinning. Yeah.

Like my phone, very famously, I have zero vibration or noise. on my phone at all times. It just, I hate it. It distracts me. But if my laptop is open and someone calls me, the laptop will ring, sometimes that is loud and shit. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. Dude, I thought you were going to say this, because this is, I actually, in practice, I really like this feature. But so often it's, my phone ping, my find my ping's that's like,

your laptop has been left at this address. Yes. But I have it. And I'm like, it's in my hand, dude. Like, what are you talking? And I, in practice, so helpful.

Oh, it's helpful. If you did forget it. You can turn those off though, right? No, but I need it. The amount of times, dude, I've left this office. And I get it. It's like, you've left your laptop behind it and I left and I'm like, fuck me. And I double back to get it.

I'm like, that is so valuable. And imagine like you leave a hotel for the airport and you leave your laptop there and you get that notification and you just tell the Uber, like turn around. But I feel like it only does that incorrectly if your laptop is dead. Mm. And you are the king. I have a lot of dead devices. I have a lot of dead devices.

That's interesting. So that might be what's happening. Yeah. We keep an air tag on our dogs in the collar. Oh, nice. But the thing is, it's not, like, it only works if our dog is around other iPhones, because I guess that's how air tags work. Neither here nor there.

But when you talk about the notifications, like whenever Emily and I leave the house or like we go on vacation or we leave the dogs with my parents or her parents, we get that notification. It's like Hank has been left behind, Georgia. And it's just like, he, oh, it is just such a, awful. It's awful. And I'm like, I'm a piece of shit. Awful.

Like, why didn't I, why didn't I bring my dogs on vacation? That is awful. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's to the point where, like, M and I will screenshot it and send it, and she's like, and sometimes it's just like you drop him off at the groomer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in paradise.

Yo, dude, I'm going to be back in like two hours. This is good for you. You're going to look like a million bucks. Dude. Yeah. That is so fucking funny. But you still get that notification? It's just,

dude, have you seen the Disney animated Disney Peter Pan? Like the old movie? Oh yeah. So that was my favorite movie when I was a little kid. And I watch it all the time still. And the opening scene.

The opening scene. I'm learning a lot today. When they fly away, when they go to Neverland the first time, the youngest son sprinkle some pixie dust down on their dog because the dog's freaking out because he's been tied up.

And he's like, where are you going? he just obviously flies immediately because dogs are only thinking happy thoughts. So he gets at the thing just immediately starts flying and it just hits the leash. It's like, and they're like, bye Nana. And they just go to Neverland. And I'm like, awful. I literally have to fast forward that one part because I'm like, I can't watch this. Wait, does the dog just get strangled by the leash?

Yeah, he's like, but dude, he waves. Like to know he's okay. He's like, but I'm like, oh, dude. It just makes me so mad at the animators. I'm like this. You couldn't have just had Nana with them the whole time. Yeah, or like, just leave. I wish he hadn't been tied up.

Like put her in, I think it's a girl. Put her in the house. Like, it's ridiculous. And they're like, yeah, easy for you to say. I'm setting up these claimations and moving on like you. Oh, you think that's easy? So fucking Jesus. All right, what's your fraud watch?

Okay, my fraud watch, and I say this as not a home owner. So maybe I'm going to get chirped a little bit. But my fraud watch is circuit breakers. Oh, yeah. And listen, I get that they're doing a job. I'm not saying they don't exist for a reason. Yeah, they make it so your house doesn't burn. Yes.

But here's my issue with them in general. And maybe this one is a little boozy, but A, I can't do, this is actually probably not their fault, but I blame them. I can't do things at the same time. You know, like, the dryer's running, and I'm like, and Sandra dries her hair,

and it's like, and I'm like, and again, maybe people are going to just go, dude, don't dry, don't use the hair dryer in the dry, but I'm like, it's fucking 2026. Is that why your devices are always dead? Yeah, because I can't plug anything in. So I'm like, I can never run things at the same time,

And then, and maybe homeowners are like, we have this dialed. But when I go to it, I never know what the fuck does anything. And it always feels like it's the most insane pairing. It's like this one flick does the kitchen and that room over there. And I'm like, why? You know, like I can never figure that out. Then I can never figure out how long to turn it. I turn it off and then turn it back on.

It's like, didn't work. And I'm like, okay. And I do that over and over and over. And then finally it works. And this is the home design people. But it never is in the room that is obviously the one going to blow. Like it's, you know, it's like, there's always like the dryer room or something that blows. And then I have to go, if I'm home alone, I go outside and I'm like this, doong, doom,

wonder if that worked. Go inside. Still nothing. Go back, you know, like, why isn't it right there so I can just see in real time? Oh, it fixed. Amazing. All they do is cause me hassle. I understand that they are keeping the house from not burning down.

And I really appreciate that. I, there's a cleaner way to handle this. Love it when his fraud watches are a result of you being an idiot. All you have to do is buy labels. and then when Sandra is home, go, I'm going to go turn off all the breakers and find out which one is which. It takes you five minutes.

Okay, you solved one of my ten problems. I agree, but it's longer than five minutes. It's maybe ten, though. Like, if I go outside and, like, we can call each other. You can shout to each other. But I'm going to go like this. You flip a switch and go, what just went out?

And then she will go like this, this room. And then you write that room on the label. Yep. And then you've got that solved forever. Have you solved one of the ten problems? You know, it's funny. When you're a renter, a lot of times, if the building is old, you'll

see the label on there from decades ago. Dude, they're on my now. But it's all fucking, like, you can't read it because it's like, it's like, and they're all wrong F. Like, I go to mine, it's like kitchen, and I go like this and it's like, too, the neighbor's house goes out. Yeah, I'm like, what in the fuck? Who wrote these? It's from like 70 years ago, and one of the breakers is like color TV.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm in a really old building, or a really old apartment, like 100%. I'm like, 100%. Mine is so old, they're all wrong. I'm like, what the fuck? Dude, you go to the, you go to the circuit breaker, you see one of the labels it says servants quarters and you're like oh god yeah yeah you're like get out of here that is one thing though it is tough when you go to the breaker where it's like do electricians have the worst handwriting of all time dude they're trying to get the label maker please like i can't even what's this such a good point

they do um they do uh they just write the like initials like they'll be yeah yeah yeah okay this and it's like br i'm like which one bedroom is a bathroom like what the fuck are you doing and i think this is just something that I assumed was what happened, but it just doesn't. I always assumed you would go to the circuit breaker and one would be flipped. Like it flipped because it's like that's one. Yeah, which one doesn't look like the other? But literally they are always all still on. And you're like, okay. Begin guessing game. It is. It's funny because this obviously just recently happened to you. But it's always the fucking hair dryer, dude. Yes. Oh my god. I don't know what the fuck. Sometimes it's the microwave too. Yeah. Sure. Okay. Dude, I mean, unit.

like wall ACs and now like we tried to run two ACs. And I'm like, disaster. Oh no. This is Christ, dude. My fraud watch is first impressions.

Ooh. I think first impressions are bullshit. And we've been taught our whole lives. It's like, you only get one first impression. Well, you do only get one, unfortunately. And I think because of that, everyone's

first impression is a lot. Oh, okay, I see where you're headed with this. Your best behavior, you're like, I got to make a good first impression. So you're, you're performing. You should be a scumbagg. Yeah. Be your worth self. And I think, only up. Under promise over whoever. I'm actually the man. Yeah. I think first impressions now more often than not is someone performing, not being their actual authentic self. So I'm putting first impressions on fraud watch because I, I'm here to tell the people most of the time when you meet a new person, that ain't who they are. You got to get a few more hangs under your belt before you really know who that person is.

Yeah. Okay. So I actually hear you on the performative. That part I agree with. But I do think first impressions do matter. Like I actually, you know, if someone stinks right away, I'm like, bye. Like I have no time for this guy. You run into someone and you're like, we will never be.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Listen, a bad first impression. That's why I didn't say a bad first impression is on fraud watch, but I'm saying first impressions on fraud watch because they are not indicative of who a person is more often than not. If you get a bad first impression, I think you can usually take that at first value. Now, that sucks because sometimes you might find someone on a bad day who might have been your best friend. I know like this year dead to me. Yeah. I've had a bunch of them. And they are dead to me. I can think of several really, really good friends of mine who I'm like, the first time I met you, I was like, you are a scumbag.

but dude those are sometimes the best friends I agree completely Is it easier to bounce back from a bad first impression or a really good one? I think like is it or the good one you mean cratering?

No but I know the question you're asking but maybe I can answer it by what I was about to say it is devastating when you meet someone you're like this, that guy rocks and then after a little while you're like wait is that person a piece of shit

that feeling sucks And I'm here to tell you, it's because they lied to you in their first impression. Yeah. They went like this. I got to put on a performance, dude. I think it is easier. You know, ah, man, I, the problem, the reason it's so hard to come back from one is I don't give you the reps to come back. Yeah.

But if you get the reps for free by accident, because like you just keep being around me. And then you'll give them chance after chance after chance after chance. You do this very badly. And I like this, do it. I do it very well. No, no, no. No, I think you give people too many chances. too nice of a guy.

Yeah, too nice guy. You've been taking advantage of your entire life and it's cost you dearly. It's cost you everything. And you haven't learned still. Yeah. But I'm trying. You're right. First impressions suck. So I'm giving them second and third and fourth impression. No, but I'm telling you a dude, it's the, you got a, you got a, it's a sample. So are you a second impression guy? Are you saying it's, it's, no, I'm a sample impression guy. I'm like, I'm going to give you four chances. Wow. Maybe five. And then it's a, if three of them are bad. That's a lot. I agree. I was. like, what are we talking about here?

He's not handing out reps. And you're the nice guy. But you want to go three? Three might be too little. That's right, man. But it's got to be. Baseball is the oldest sport in the world. But what if someone's one and two?

My point is it's got to be an odd number because then it's just like whichever went. Like if I give three impressions. Yeah. And two of them were shit. You're out. Dude, the first two even because then that's it. But what if you go one, the person's awesome?

Next one stinks. He gets another one. Okay. And then it's awesome and we're like this. We're in. Yeah. I don't think that's enough. If a person's willing to perform three straight times,

to lie to me, to pretend to be cool three straight times, and I'm like, okay, maybe they'll just pretend to be cool all the time. Three is, I mean, you go three straight. That's your best friend. Yeah. You know what it also sucks, too, is that if they give you a good first impression and then they end up being a piece of shit, then you start questioning your own, like, is my, like, I thought I was a good judge

at Carrie. Is my impressions radar bad? This guy's an asshole. Yeah. I know something. And then all of a sudden, you're like, well, I start calling people I wrote off and I'm like, hey dude, what are you doing on Saturday? You might be the fucking man.

Billy Madison. I totally draw. I'm glad I called that guy. People have become too aware. You got a list at home that you're crossing off. Yes, 100%. I'm telling you, people have become too aware of the importance of first impressions and they're acting, dude. Yeah.

So put that antenna up. I like that. I like the performative. You're always deep. Yeah, yeah. I like that. Dude, I've been thinking about it because a few times I have had interactions with some people that I was like, that person rocked. And then like, we've all been talking about it.

And I'm like, that person actually. You've been, you've been burned a few times. For you, too many, pal. All right. My top hit is adult roommates. Oh, yeah, dude. They're preaching to the fucking choir, pal. Shout out Jeff and Kelly. I was with our friends this past weekend. They recently were married. As you know this story, they recently were married, and then they moved into a beautiful home in Manhattan Beach, and it burned down a week later. They burned it down, in fact. Well, uh, because, because the circuit breaker. Yeah, yes.

A task, actually. No. Shut up. A task rabbit came in and drilled straight through an electrical pipe and burned their place down. Oh my God. They were trying to hang a TV. Oh. Tough.

Tough. Tough sledding. Yeah. But, uh, the place is being, uh, has been refurbished. Do they have electricity now, which is good? Huge. Huge. But anyway, they have been staying around Manhattan Beach with several friends and they are currently

staying with this awesome young married couple. No. kids, all of them. So we have not a dink, is it, dual income, no kids. We've got a think four incomes, no kids. Yeah, wow. And dude, every day, like I popped over there, every day they're doing something fun. It's like every night there's like a charcutory board out. They've got board games. Kind of sounds like a cult. It's, yeah. It might be. They're taking new, couple extra benefits. It might be, Marty. They're wearing weird robes and specific tennis. Yeah, yeah. It might be. But I'm telling you, it's, uh, it, it, I don't think you could do it forever, but it was a vibe.

And they were saying they're like this every night. They're drinking too much. Yeah. But every night they're like, it's something exciting is going on because it's like adult, no kid roommates. It's hard to just like, yeah, we're going to have a quiet night. It's like, no, you're just with your homeless every night. Yeah. Fun shit happens. So, the movie consumption would be so soon. Could be a move. Could be the move. Maybe we start implementing. like little staycations where it's like this, hey, next week, stay at our house for the week. Let's see how it goes. Oh, that's actually kind of cool getting on a rotation like that.

It's like going around the road with the boy. Yeah, yeah, you could. Create the New York trip. Yeah, we'd be a staycation. Yeah, we call it the New York trip. Yeah. You're like, a couple friend. You're like, come on over.

That's awesome. It could be gas. I like that a lot, Dan. Yeah. I'm all about roommates. So, like, do they rotate, like meals and stuff? Good question. Yeah.

Oh, for sure. It's like, hey, we got. Someone gets home early and they're like, this, I'm going to hit the grocery store, I'm making dinner tonight. So then, like, one of the others comes home and they're like, oh, shit, dinner's already on, dude. Yeah. This is unbelievable.

It's pretty sick. And it's, like, kind of a surprise of who's making what. The other day they came home and there was just like pre-batched martinis made. And it was like, I guess we're drinking. Yeah. It kind of sounds like COVID. Yeah. Yeah.

That's exactly what it made me think of. Oh, that's a great call. COVID. People were kind of. That's an incredible call. Was it like quarantining or in your bubble or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, my top hit is, I'm going to say it and then I'm going to extend it a little bit so you understand. My top hit is holiday movies. And what I actually mean is movies about a time of the year. Like when it's Halloween, I get to be like, oh, I'm going to throw on this Halloween movie. Yeah, hoax, Pocus. Christmas, Christmas movies. But I even mean like the sandlot. Yeah. Great fall. Yeah. Great movie. I even mean like the sandlot about summer. You know. know, like, I love all movies, but movies about a time are so awesome when you're in that time and you can watch it.

It really brings me such joy. You associate certain movies with a time. Yeah, yeah. And you get to be like, oh, bang. It's like, we always talk about the Harry Potter movies are Christmas movies. Yes. Don't need to explain it. Yep.

And the Christmas one is the obvious answer. I think everyone relates to that. But just any time there's a movie that's like, oh, we're in that current time and I'm going to watch the movie about that current time. I'm like, fucking. I think summer movies are underrated. Yeah. Movies that very much are based in summer and make you think of summer.

Yep. Those are underrated. Like it's a summer camp movie and summer starts and I'm like, it's like the same way that like an album can bring you back to a certain time period of your life. Yep. Like movies can do that too. Yep. I'm like that is gone.

That hits every time for me. Every single time. And I get excited for it. Like we start getting into spooky season and I'm like, I can't wait to watch those Halloween movies. Do you? Yeah. You don't really like horror though. I don't like horror at all, but I watch them.

I'm like this. Respect. I can't stand. Yeah, you don't like it either. It's awful. Yeah. Like, why? Why?

Why are we doing this? Light a harvest candle, turn the lights out, and get fucking scared shitless. It's amazing. It's a great feeling. I like the more fun ones. Like hoax pocus. You know, like that, I'm like, you see. Casper?

Casper, dude. Like, bang. Perfect. Great movie. God, great movie. Christine Ritchie? Christina Ricci. And then Dylan, Devin Sawa.

Is that the dad? No, that's the fucking hot kid. Bill Pullman is the dad. Yeah. Paul. Yeah, yeah, Devin Sawa, dude, Junior Floyd. You see Little Giants?

Yeah, that's the quarterback. He's the quarterback. Yeah, the quarterback and little giants is Casper. He's still on the toilet paper in them. Can you believe that? Yeah. The annexation of 40. I think.

Yeah, he was a heart throb of a generation. God, he threw a young girl. He did. Especially the T. That's what I'm saying, dude. God damn. Fucking phenomenal. All right, Marty.

What's your top hit? The one that I don't give up about it. It's kind of like the seasonal thing. Okay, nice. This time of year, pumpkin patches, dude. What? This is hilarious.

Let me elaborate. This is so funny. This is so funny. Oh my God. But hold on. I don't know where this is going, but I'm excited. I feel like you've been fucking with me all. No.

No, dude. Legit ones though. Yep. Okay. Like, like, I've been to two with the kids. Yes. 10 days, week. when

when nothing else is available that also defends my point correct and you don't even need to justify this just keep going because I'm on your side yeah the like the parking lot ones yep trashed oh those are terrible I grew up in Michigan yeah like a Midwest

kid but like when you go to like a legit pumpkin patch like farm yeah it's awesome tell me what you can find to explain myself yeah do you know about What he said about pumpkin matches? Dude, we did a blind ranking of fall things.

Like a month ago. And Evan says, well, that would line up with me having a kid. Yeah. Yeah. So Evan said, on the list. Fall activities.

And Pumpkin Patcher said, and it was the quickest five of my life. And then I went on a ramping like, what the fuck am I doing at a pumpkin patch? My big take was I am a, I am a kidless man in my 30s. What am I doing at a fucking pumpkin patch? Yeah,

it is a little weird if you go. Explain a nice pumpkin patch. Well, if you went with like a group of people, like a group of adults, and there are beverages, like you're having pumpkin flavored beer? Like that's different. There's beer? I said, dude, in the bar. I said, I said, do they have drinks?

They have pumpkin beer. I said this. Do not like cider and donuts? Dude, this is exactly what I said. This is literally exactly what I said. Are you a terrorist? That's apple picking. They have them at the patch.

If you can show me a pumpkin patch that has this stuff, you weren't you just that one? Dude, yeah, it's called Underwood Farms. Okay, there's one in my neighbor called Tapia Brothers Farms up in the Valley, but you've have one, where's yours looking? Underwood's up in the Valley. It's like in Seamy Valley. Oh, okay, so it's further up. We went there on Saturday.

It's awesome. That's cool. If there's cider and donuts and beer, then I'm less harsh on it. Cider, donuts, like tractor rides, scarecrows, corn mazes. Did you hear somebody got stabbed in a corn maze? This feels like a harvest fest, not a popoff. Dan, so I actually wanted, I'm so glad you said this because. I meant to bring this up to you. I was at the SF wedding this past weekend and we drove.

So I was just bombing back down on Sunday. And there's a stretch of that drive where I'm like, I'm sure I don't know where the fuck I am in the middle of Central California. I can't believe this. There were gargantuan pumpkin patch carnivist. Those are harvest fest. But dude, they looked so sick. I almost took a picture of one for you because I drove by it and I was like, that, I looked at Sandra. I was like, we might need to go there. Like that is the same, we might need to stop. Yeah, like it looked so incredible. That was like, verbal meme,

it's like the two, it's like the, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, dude, there is, I knew there was going to be

all the snacks and everything and it looked so sick. And I was like, God, I should rub this and dance fucking face. Look how cool this place looks.

Dude, they're awesome, man. It's no different than like, what are you not like going to the zoo lights at Christmas? I like,

I like all these things. I'm just, I, listen, if you guys want to take me to a quality pumpkin patch where I can drink and not feel like a pedophile, I'll go.

Listen, if you go solo to a pumpkin. Like, certified, like somebody called the FBS. That is what, exactly what I said. Yeah.

But if you're with a group of people or like, especially now that I have kids, like I talked about playgrounds last time. Yeah, yeah. Like, it was awesome for my kids.

The tractor ride that they were on, they had this like, it's like a sandbox, but it's just dried corn. Oh, cool. Or dried beans. Yeah, yeah. Kids were in heaven.

Yeah. I could have left them there for an hour. Yeah. No, no, yeah, could have left them there forever. Don't leave them there

Because apparently there's pedophiles among them. Dan's lurking. There's like a petting zoo at this one. Or not petting zoo. I guess kind of like a bunch of animals. They have this thing where like they have goats. Yeah. But they built this like, I don't even know how to describe it.

Like this overhead track for goats. Like this pathway. It's like wired. It's almost like a hamster. Yeah. What do you call it? Like a ham. Yeah, like a wheel.

Not a wheel, but the tunnel, like the clear tunnel. Yeah, the clear tunnel, like a hamster tunneling thing. But it's all above you, so these goats are just like, just walking above your head. Just walking above your head. The kids are just looking up. Underwood family farms or something. Dude, I love it. Dan, you should go by yourself.

Yeah, let's see how that goes. I'll go, I'll put a blindfold on and you guys just hand me beers and donuts. Yeah, it'll be fine. Yeah. I love this, dude. That's what, like, they grew up doing that. Yep. Yates cider melon Rochester.

Yeah. Like, yeah. yeah cider donuts this is this is earth-shattering for me it brought me the cider and donuts i'm here i i will travel what a scrooge uh no dude i just did it all the only pumpkin patches i've ever seen are just fucking pumpkins and what do we what are we doing splitting hairs saying like this is a pumpkin patch versus a harness fast is that what you called it i don't know i have never seen a pumpkin patch like what is this you got the pumpkin patches that i've experienced there's a bunch of fucking pumpkins and hay and kids run around and they're like, oh, let me pick a pumpkin.

And I'm like this, I don't want to go to jail. Fun fact, my brother and sister-in-law, they met at a pumpkin patch with a group of adults. That is an incredible stat, dude. Insane. Yeah. That's like, that's like, anniversary. I'm telling you, yeah, you get, you can't knock it, dude. I'm not.

I'm opening my heart. Hold on. Humor me, though. What's the difference between a harvest fest and a pumpkin patch? All of those things you said. And apple picking. Like food, well, the big thing with Apple Pick is. was, first of all, like me picking apples then serves a purpose where I'm like, I'm going to take

these apples. I'm going to then make cider or go make a pie or something like that. And then at apple picking, there is always cider and donuts. And I'm like, that is worth it for me. Pumpkin patch, I'm like, how many fucking pumpkins do I need? I'm not going to go pick pumpkins. Like, you know, that's insane. But I was unaware that there are all these pumpkin patches with fucking goat wheels. They do. They all have it. They all have it. They're fucking beef. Yeah, the pumpkin patch industry has really upped its game. If they've upped the game, I'm in, dude. And you go, I actually think you get more value out of getting a bunch of pumpkins

and going back, if you intend to carve them, going back to carve them. Because I'm like, sweet, I went, I needed to buy five pumpkins anyway. We went to the patch. I got five pumpkins. Then when I go buy a thousand apples and then throw them all away. Well, if you're throwing them away, you're not doing it right. People get too many apples. Yeah, but that's a picking problem.

Yeah. But like, if you're going to a legit patch, you're not leaving, like, I didn't leave with any pumpkins. Yeah, yeah, right. He was just there for the rides. Yeah, I'm there for the rides you made along the way. Yeah. It's a friend. Rides, Chris. Yeah. I've been going to shit patches. Oh, yeah, I think that's it. I think that's it. Dan, you've gone like pumpkin shopping. Like, you're at Trader Joe's. And Dan's like, this pumpkin patch sucks. And I'm like, this is a Trader Joe's car. I just walk into Trader Joe's. He sees like the crate of pumpkins. It's just with a one bale of hay. And I'm like this. You guys are fucking pathetic.

Just a scrooge. Oh, I've said, I'm open. I'm open. I'm all. I'm re- We'll go. We'll go. We'll go. We'll go. We're going to do a blind ranking best Halloween trick or treat candy. Here we go. All right. Number one, well, it's not number one, but the first thing I'm going to say is mini Snickers bars. I love the Snickers. I really do. Is this a crazy take that I have Snickers? Sometimes at Halloween, I want the candy to be things I don't have often. So I have, if I'm ever grabbing a candy bar, it's usually a Snickers. So sometimes when I get it, at Halloween, I'm like, this is old hat. Is that insane? It is hilarious to me that you're talking about this as if you still trick-or-treat. Well, here's the thing. As an adult, I do. In what world

is there anything that you're like this? I don't have this. Like, just go get it if you like it. But if you're trying to get yourself in the head of when you were a kid and you were like, I rarely get this thing, I'll hear you. And I get the candy to give to trick-or-treaters to come to my house and then I eat it. I mean this in the most love. lovingly way possible. But if I were to pick a grown-ass man that I know that would still go trick-or-treating, it'd probably be... I'm taking this as the confidence.

And that I believe it is. It is very much a comment. I hate that about you, but it's true. I mean, I think a Snickers bar rocks. Me too. But I'd also hear that on Halloween, we kind of get like variation stuff. There's like... I almost get more excited for these rogue candy bars.

That's what I'm saying. is pretty standard. Yeah. Do you like a Snickers? You made a face. I'll be honest. I'm not a huge Snickers guy. Then I'm willing to go pretty low here.

I don't think we can go lower than four. I'm going four only because I'm saving something for five. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys, everyone knows it. Dude, I hope. God, I really hope this comes up. But I just don't. Dude, I'm okay.

And I love it. Justice for Snickers. I think a Snickers bar is great, but I'm okay to go four here because of the excitement of Halloween. Snickers bar four. Okay. But have you had that? ice cream Snickers bars.

Oh, dude. That's another level. That's like, yeah, I can't. Those are on that. That's incredible. There's a different product. Yeah, yeah.

That's a different product. It's a different product. Okay. Things that bring you back to different periods of your life. Tootsie rolls, specifically the ones that are multi-flavored. Like the fruit tutsi rolls. Yeah, like the ones that are like white vanilla.

I don't even want to put them on the list. Dude, so here's the problem. This is it, this is five, but now I'm terrified that the thing I think we're both thinking of is coming and it's now going to be fucking. has gone full terrorist here and he's doing, I thought we were going to do five goats.

Yep. No, this is good. No, no, no. Okay, you know what, here. No, no, no. Let's, let's make it regular Tootsie Roll. No, no. Would that change it?

It's your, I actually like fruit titsy rolls. Oh, okay. I think they're delicious. I do too. The lemon fruit tutsi roll is out of this world. Tutsi roll is sneaky. But I can't justifiably put it over a Snickers bar. Okay, so then I think we have to go five.

Wow. And when we're doing like trick or treating and you get fruit tutsy rolls, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I'm, Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Like if they're at the bottom of the pillowcase, I'm like, oh, cool. Yeah.

It is always seems to be the end of the drawer. You know, when you're in mid-November, and you're like, how many can be left? It's all. It's hard as a rock. Yeah. It's a jolly rancher, basically, at that point. Those were bought by your grandmother. Yeah.

Oh, you got to stick it in your pocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. In the armpit. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So five.

Five. This is fucking dangerous, though. God. It's the only thing we can do? Okay, five. Okay, the Reese's peanut butter pumpkins. Incredible. Oh, I don't know.

Easy one. Easy one. Easy one. Yes. The Reese's pumpkin. Yep. Is there's something different about it? Yeah.

It's, I think it might be as simple as there's just more peanut butter. Yeah. And you get, the Reese's pumpkin, the first bite into that pumpkin is genuinely like losing your virginity. And I think this is my theory, but I think in order to keep the mold, the chop. chocolate's a tiny bit thicker than the regular one, you know, because they needed to keep its shape. And it's just the little added snap, little added crunch. Incredible.

It's the Reese's, I mean, Reese's in general. He's insane. Okay, I feel good about this. It is, like, no problem whatsoever to bury a sixer. Oh, dude. Yeah. Like, they come in six packs. Before you fucking boink.

Yeah. I'm like, oh, shit, that gone. Well, then they do it again, though. Yeah. The Christmas tree. Yeah. It doesn't quite slap as hard, but it's pretty special. Maybe because what if the Christmas tree came before?

Oh, interesting. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's a little too deep. No way, though, right? Because, like, candy is synonymous with Halloween. It had to be the pumpkin first. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's true. Races pumpkin number one. Yeah, one, easy. All right, uh, mini box of nerds. Okay, I'm a nerds guy. Yeah, this is interesting. I'm a nerds guy. And I, first of all, I like them,

but second of all, I might be willing to go to here out of fear of the bad, a bad thing that is coming. But I also think there is gas available. So if you guys wanted to roll the knives that way and go three in hopes, in hopes for gas, I would accept that too. I, when I was younger, nerds fired me up. I love nerds. I think there was something, nerds were like cool when they were young. It's probably something about all that fucking, like the red dye number five, all the different colors and all that shit. Now, the idea now of emptying one of those mini boxes into my mouth, I'm coming. like that's a lot.

Oh, not for me. It feels crazy in your mouth. It's, so I don't know. God. The dentist is handing. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Remember the old nerd, the bigger ones that had the split flavor?

Oh my God. And didn't they look at tabs like slayed? So you get to go, and how much pressure though was it to pop that tab properly or else? It's like missing your capricin on. If you put the capricent right through the back, it's the worst day. It's like that in a long time. I feel like we'd have to go to a proper candy show to see that.

I'm happy with three, save two for something. Do you want to roll the dice for gas, or do you want to roll the dice for ass? I don't feel great about nerds box as a two. Unless this thing comes, which I would be devastated. I'm really curious to know what this thing is. I think I know exactly what they're from me.

But maybe with him saying that, it doesn't have it on the list. Then we roll the dice for gas. Yeah, we roll the dice for gas. We're going three. The second best Halloween candy is? Okay. Woppers.

Dude, okay, so I would rather nerds above a Wopper, but I actually like the, what is that called? Malted, Malted Maltin. Yeah, with like that, it's like the wafer inside or whatever, you know, like that airy. I hate it.

I actually like a Wopper, but I think I'm in the minority here and I wish Ners was too. Thank God we went Reese's once. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We should have swapped. I think a proper malted milkball is like insanely delicious.

Yeah, but Wopper's the master's produced are not great. They lost their fans. But if you go to and get, I mean, you'll go to a pick and mix place and you'll see like malted milk balls. Those things are way better than Whoppers. So justice for malted milk balls, but almost perfect list, but still pretty good. Still pretty well, Snickers, I feel like should have been fucking two. Yeah, probably should have. I like it at four still. Really? Speaking of the malted milk, go ahead. I'm happy with nerds above Snickers. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The malted milk balls, though, there's a place back home, or actually in Grand Rapids on the

other side of the state in Michigan. It's called Sweetland. Shout out Sweetlands. They have unreal. Maltin milk balls. And that's like one of the family candies that we order. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the candies that you guys all get. Yeah, just at, keep it at the house. Dude, I agree. I will just send me a box. I agree. I think they're delicious. Oh, dude, and I think leaving the wopper. And they're like, there's a ton of chocolate. Yeah, yeah, dude. Like it's not. It's a great bite. Yeah. Yeah. God. It's amazing. All right, great list. Great Yep, folks, make sure to tune in to Sci-Fi section on Wednesdays. Tune in to the best bets that comes out every Friday. Get your picks in. We're all going to be on the road coming up here. We're going to be in Vegas. You're going to be in where next? Oh, actually, what day are you in Vegas? Tuesday and Friday. Saturday and Friday, right? Yeah. Well, there. Oh. We're flying Saturday morning. Are you going on the game? Maybe. Maybe. Do you want to go to the game?

Yeah. Yes. This is great radio. God. Wait, no, you can't. Why? You'd have to be in Columbus. Oh, yeah, exactly. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I thought I checked.

Yeah, I was like, didn't we look? So you don't want to go to me? Again, this is great. Definitely not, actually. We're all going to be on the road, but we're going to be dialing in everything on all the socials. Make sure you tune into everything. Guys, again, we love you. Subscribe to everything.

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