Empty Netters Podcast - Giving Christmas Gifts To Every NHL Team

Episode Date: December 25, 2024

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Merry Christmas. We are unwrapping presents for all 32 teams in the NHL. And we are doing New Year's resolutions for all four divisions. Ice is ready, and we are back with another episode of the Empty Netters podcast, brought to you by BetMGM. Merry Christmas, everyone. Dan, nice crew neck. Dude, you know, it's funny.

I love that we're wearing the same crew neck. We got our same Empty Netters crew necks on. And you know what I really, really love is that it's Christmas Day. and it's kind of like back in the day where your parents would dress you and your siblings in the same shit. Oh, dude, really good. That's why I wanted it.

Like, it's Christmas Day. We've got matching outfits on. We're all cozy and we're going to watch a Christmas movie later and it's going to be fantastic. Yeah, that's actually some of the fondest memories of my entire life. So this is great. It's really phenomenal stuff.

Look, we're just, we're matching. We're having a happy Christmas. It's going to be wonderful. Speaking of, Dan, I buy every year. I like giving Christmas gifts. You know this. Yeah, you do. You love it more than I believe is probably healthy.

Like, I think you need to chill out. You know how the people are like, I like giving gifts more than getting gifts. And you're like, shut the fuck up. Yeah. I might. I think you do. That's like, I don't think it's a might. Oh, man.

And so I get one for anybody, and I get one for our dry cleaner. And that means something to me. She deserves it, man. You put me on to her. Shout out Elena. I go to her as well. Because she's not just our dry, like she's my tailor. Yeah, dude.

She's everything. She's my friend. She's my good friend. She's my dear friend. Yeah. And I, it occurred to me, because I've been getting her a gift for a while now. And what is the safest thing to get as a Christmas gift for essentially a stranger, who is your good friend? Yeah.

Because I don't know anything about her. Does this fall into, well, I think that's on you, buddy. You're talking to this person all the time. You should know more about her. I mean, I know where she spends holidays. And, like, I know who her siblings are and all that, you know. Well, where does she spend holidays? Well, they go to NorCal a bunch.

and they go to Montana. There's a ski place in Montana they go to. But she doesn't ski. She's like, I don't like seeing. I sit in the house. Yeah. Yeah, you could get her like a nice,

you know, a nice sweater for the ski weather. Yeah, but like, am I buying clothes? Yeah, that's weird. For dry cleaner? Yeah, you're not buying clothes for your dry cleaner. And I was going to say you could get her a nice, like, NorCal thing, but she's like, I'm the one who goes to Nor.

I get you NorCalc. Yeah, dude. You don't get me Norcal stuff. Because, so yeah, that's tough. All right. Safe bet. You can't get alcohol. Well, because I didn't.

That's what I thought. You don't know. I feel like everybody was going to say, you don't know. Get out. Get a bottle of wine. Get a nice, nice thing of whiskey. But then I'm like this.

Bang. Alcoholic. Bang. Relapse. You did this to them. And then now it's on me. Yeah. So you can't do that.

And also, can I say this, dude? Even if you do drink. I think alcohol is risky because I can't tell you when something good has happened in my life, when I achieved something, I can't tell you. This has never happened. So in this fucking fairy tale that you're describing. I'm talking about the future. I'm talking about the future. The amount of times someone has bought me a congratulatory bottle of whiskey or scotch.

And hand up, I'm a pussy. Yeah. I do not like those things. I am not a scotch guy. I'm not a whiskey guy. So when people get those for me, I'm like, oh, thank you so much. And they just go on my like liquor shelf that I then re-gift or they literally sit there and collect dust until a selfish friend comes over and is like, dude, I could use a nice couple of fingers of scotch. Let me open up your $300 bottle of scotch that you haven't cracked.

And I'm like, I mean, go for it. I'm not going to drink it. But that's a crazy move. Yep. And so that's what I'm saying. Like, it's, that is, it's sketchy. You're either, I know, I know, dude. You're either catapulting someone into relapse or you're getting them a liquor they don't like.

Dude, best case, you're catapulting someone into relapse. Worst case, you're getting someone whiskey that will waste. I think you've got those two mixed up, but I hear you. You're on the right track. So, dude, I went. Like, what about food? Yeah, okay. So, so this, I go chocolate.

I get a basket, a gift basket. And it varies every year. I never get the same basket. I never once have gotten the same basket. But I get a various gift basket of, and sometimes it's the standard for scump chocolate style box. You know, it's just like, hey, there's a bunch of chocolates. But I don't like that one because that one feels so basic and kind of intimate, maybe.

I don't know. Like, is that romantic? I think it's based on the shape of the container. It can be intimate or not intimate. Rectangle, friends. Yes. Circle, don't know. Circles, what are we?

What are we? Heart, I want a divorce. So the, but I get a basket, Dan, that has, you know, chocolate covered pretzels in this thing, and then some, maybe some rolloes over here. And then maybe some sticks, chocolate sticks. Crazy rollo pole by you there. That was for Edge.

That was for Edge. Whenever Edge listens to this, he'll have a little bit. appreciate that. But I've been going chocolate basket. And I felt great about it. And literally this year, the reason I'm even bringing this up was this year I handed it to her. And as I was walking out, I was like, every year does she go, oh, thanks, Chris. And then just like, give it away because she's like, this sucks. I don't like chocolate. And I mean, who doesn't like chocolate? Most people like chocolate. So it felt safe. But all of a sudden I had this weird panic attack that maybe this was a horrible gift this whole time. It's tough, man. I think, you know, fitness has never been more in. I could see some people

being like, dude, I do not need all this chocolate at my house. So it's a risky game. Yeah. I don't know what the answer is. I, you know, I think chocolates and alcohol in a day and age would have been safe. I think, I think really what we got to do here is get more information on people. Yeah, dude. More government regulations. You know what we do? You bring in a shirt with a stain on it. You go, hey, I got this shirt. I got a chocolate stain on it. Chocolate stain right here. Wine stain right here. Need it to come up. We'll do one of the time. No, no, dude, you double tap.

And I got a chocolate scene over here, a wine stand over here. You like chocolate? You like wine? Just like make conversation. You know, this must happen to you all the time. You're always eating chocolate, right? You big chocolate fans? This must happen to you.

You spill wine like me? She goes like this. It does. I love chocolate. And you go. And she goes, I used to spill wine all the time 20 years ago when I had my last drop. When I wrapped my car around a telephone pole and then changed my life of better. I can't even, I can't even be around

alcohol. If I am, it'll ruin my entire life. Pulls out her 20 year token says, how fucking dare you bring me this shirt. And then you look down and realize that you've gotten her bourbon-filled chocolates. Eat them all. I go, no! Eat them all. Hamed. Walk home.

You've ruined this person's life in Christmas. So, be careful. Hey, no you love getting gifts. Be careful. Be careful what you do, dude. You got it. You just got You got to button it up. You got to button it up. Yeah, you're right.

We have got some resolutions for divisions today. We've got some gifts for teams today. It's the holiday season. We're having a happy Christmas. We're going to make sure every team has a nice, beautiful box, a big box for Ron under the tree with a bow on top. Do you want to do presents first and then resolutions? Because that's how the calendar goes? That's how the calendar goes.

So, yes. We're going to do it. Okay. Let's start with the Atlantic. We're in the Atlantic. I'm looking at the Atlantic. I'm staring at the Atlantic Ocean. Let's start with the Atlantic and do their resolutions.

Okay, but I actually thought, Dan, we should just go. Oh, oh, you want to do resolutions. I thought we said presents. We did say presents. I don't know why I did that. That was epic, dude. Oh, my gosh. I just said, should we do the calendar?

But I think I just got so excited because presents are so fun. I almost want to wait. But we got to do presents first. This is how it goes. We're going to do presents first. And I think we take turns. I think no rhyme or reason. Just tell me a team and then let it rip.

Okay. And Dan doesn't know. We split the teams. I got 16 of them. Dan got 16 of them. I don't know what presents. Dan got his 16 teams. He doesn't know what presents I got by 16.

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All right, I'm going first, Dan. And the first team, I don't even mean to do this, but the first team I've got is the Boston Bruins. Wow. That was conscious, dude. I think that's just because I wrote it down first. Yeah. Maybe it was subconscious, but your heart.

Hart wanted to give a gift to the Bruins. Christmas morning, the Boston Bruins open a present and find out that Patrice Bergeron has come out of retirement. An official league document has been sent to Gary Bettman, and Patrice Bergeron will be suiting up to play one C for the rest of this season and the next three seasons, and he signed a four-year deal for that minimum. Wow. Can I be honest? Yeah. I don't love this gift for the Bruins. I think time has passed it by.

Last year, I would have loved this gift. Yeah. But this year, it just feels like too little too late. But for this season, but he signed a three more years on the deal. I'm interested in what his role, I don't love the one C. Like, you know what I would love? They unwrap that and there's a three-year deal for Patrice Bergeron to be the new GM. That is what I would love.

Whoa, dude. Make Patrice Bergeron re-institute. He's a player GM. He's a player GM. I don't even need him to play. Be a re-institute, re-institute the culture and take back the Boston Bruins.

Now we're talking. He can only do that. Dan, he can only do that from within the locker room. He can only do that from within. All right, maybe he's a coach GM. Sorry, Sacco. Player-G-M.

Player coach and GM. Power play coach GM. Keep Sacco in there. And player. Packages by Expedia. You were made to occasionally take the hard route to the top of the Eiffel Tower. We were made to eat.

easily bundle your trip. Expedia, made to travel. Player, coach, GM. I don't know if he's got it anymore, dude. What? He said that himself. No, he said that to convince himself that he can step away from the game, as everyone does. They go, I don't have it anymore. You're opening a Pandora's box of Puttenberg back on the ice and him being not good anymore.

And you've now, you've now ruined everything. Yeah, dude. Think about it. You're playing with fire. This is the first gift that you opened and we're playing with fire. Yeah, good. Good, dude. Gotta stay hot.

GM first, then we can talk. Player. My first gift is for the New York Rangers. The New York Rangers stumble down the stairs on Christmas morning and there's a bunch of presents under there and they open them up and it's beautiful. Canada Goose jackets for every single member of the team. Customized. That's really nice. Customized.

Canada Goose jackets because let me tell you what is getting cold in New York. It's getting cold blooded. These guys are getting kicked out the door onto the streets with nothing. Now they have a nice jacket to keep them warm when Chris Drury treats them like a redheaded stepchild and boots them out the door. Because we've got a fucking fire sale going on in New York. No one's safe. When Drury goes, death or exile. dude.

And they go like this. You think I'm walking out there and he goes, great, death. Buy exile. You're all gone. Ain't no one safe on that team. Really good. What do you think Igor Shosturkin is thinking

after signing that deal and now every person is getting shipped out the door like Michael Jackson selling off assets? Dude, I can't fathom the attitude up in that building right now. And Duchessi must be like, what the fuck? Yeah. Have you done to me? me. I could have been in Vegas. I could have been in Vegas by June. And you fucked me.

It's his own fault. Okay. Next up, I've got the Anaheim Ducks. Ah, quack, quack, quack. Quack, quack. Christmas morning, I hope they've got a huge living room because when they come down under the tree is soccer goals. Rule change, we are playing NHL hockey with soccer goals now. And the Anaheim Ducks league embarrassing 76 goals for now. Now, Sky Rockets because it's going to be way easier to shoot pucks in the net with a fucking soccer goal. That is huge for them, dude. They got, dude, the last thing that I thought would be an issue for the ducks this season was scoring goals.

And boy, they can't buy them. They can't buy them. It's insane, Dan. We need the boys to start burying the puck. They have the firepower. We know they have the firepower. I just, I need to see the net ripple a few times. You know what's really funny, man.

We posted a clip last week about, you know, from our last episode saying, is it possibly time up in Anaheim for Zegris? There are a lot of cuties, a lot of cuties in Orange County who are Ducks fans who can't process the idea of losing cute Trevor Zegris. They just love how cute he is. And they're like, like, they didn't even listen to the clip. They were like, Trevor Zegers is not going anywhere. We love him.

He is so happy. And I'm like, have you seen his body language on the ice? Like, he knows he can be better. and he's going to be better. But like all these fans acting like nothing is wrong, I was like, oh, this is cute. Like you guys just love him. Love Z.

And that's great. Okay, my next gift is going to be for the Buffalo Sabers, Chris. The Buffalo Sabres unwrapped their gift, and it is a brand new metallic for sale sign. Enough is enough. The Pugula family is got to go. Wow. This team, if they do another clear out of players, the fan base is, and the fan base needs to see more former Sabres go off and win a cup somewhere.

They might put themselves through a table permanently because we cannot watch this family and this, this ownership and these, this GM go, yep, we're just going to shake things up. We're going to trade some players. Dylan Cousins, you're out the door. You're going to Dallas. And oh, you just won a cup. That can't happen anymore. It can't happen. the sabers, they got to get back into winning ways.

And it just, it ain't happening with this current setup. First sale, we're selling the team, someone take over and do right by this fan base. Wow, dude, that is, it's a sad day. It's a sad day, but sometimes it takes drastic changes. It just drastic changes to make an impact. And this might be exactly the Christmas gift they needed. It might be. Next up for me, Dan, I've got the Los Angeles.

Kings. Oh, be nice. The Los Angeles Kings, and I'm not even saying that they wished for this, but I'm saying this is what they received. They come down Christmas morning, oh my God, open their

present, and they find out that the storied Detroit Red Wings franchise with all those rivalries in the Western Conference has been sent back to the Western Conference to play their games. But, Dan, due to Newton's

laws, if something comes west, something must go to the Eastern Conference. And that would be the Edmonton Oilers. The Edmonton Oilers have been sent to the Eastern Conference to get the Detroit Red Wings back to the West. And, you know, we'll see them in the finals, maybe. We'll see him in the finals maybe. Maybe, maybe. But that's way down the road.

That's fantastic news for the Kings. That's way down the road. Get them out. Get them out of there. Get him out of there. If you can't beat them, kick them east. Kick them out. That's what they always say, dude. The kings do not lose.

playoff series, they win them. Or they kick the Edmontone Oilers out of their division because it's unfair. And again, I'm not saying they asked for this. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't ask Santa for this. They did not. I'm saying that's what they got. Wow.

It's fantastic. Okay, we're talking about the Red Wings. We're just talking about the Office, too. I'm going to bring both of those back here. And now the Red Wings are opening up their gift. The Red Wings believe in the Izer Plan. We're still believing in the Iser Plan. But it needs a little juice.

So what the Red Wings get under the tree is Michael Scott's 40. day plan. 45 days, 45 points. It's a point per day. They're going to do 45 days, 45 points, and they're going to get back in business.

And you can take that to the bank. They need a shake up. The Izer plan needs some retooling. It needs a little bit of work. Michael Scott is going to come in. He's going to do his 45 day plan and get the Izer plan back on track. And the Red Wings are going to be in the Eastern Conference

Finals like that. Michael Scott might be the perfect coach for the Red Wings. He might be. I actually think. He goes to that shareholder meeting, Chris, and he delivers that 45-day plan. Everything changes. That's what the Red Wings need. They just need Michael Scott to get them back on track.

If the Red Wings could ever do a mid-season coaching change, it should be for Steve Karell in character as Michael Scott to just pump their tires. Steve Karell was a phenomenal player. People forget them. Yeah, good point, dude. He knows the game. They bring in Michael Scarn for the All-Star game to save the world. Like, you think he can't save the world.

Red Wings, they need a 45-day plan. 45-day plan, 45-day plan, 45 points. It's a point per day. They're back on track. Okay. St. Louis Blues. Oh. St. Louis Blues, Christmas morning. Waking up a present. And rule change, the winner of the Winter Classic gets an automatic bid to the

cup. To the cup? Yes. Dear God, that is, that might be a too, too far of a jump. Maybe playoffs. Right to the cup? Bang. Wow. Western Commerce.

finals. West's the finals. Don't let them get one. That's the thing. You win that winner classic game. The juice that they'll have knowing they're going straight to the cup, they didn't have to worry about the playoffs. Dude, rule change.

It's like Survivor. There's like crazy shit happening within games. You know, these big things appear. Boom. They found a rule change. Winner classic winner goes to the cup. Unbelievable. And dude, that's risky.

They could lose. They could lose to the Hawks. I'm not saying they automatically win the winner classic. I'm just telling you that that was huge for them because now they can see the path. That is huge. We're going to kick. at old school here, we're going the Toronto Maple Leafs. Old school

Christmas traditions here under the tree for them is a priest. And this priest is here to perform an exorcism. Because here's the deal. This team is good. Oh yeah, they are. This team is good. They look different. They look confident. They look like they might have

the legs to make a run. The only thing that could get in their way, Chris, is themselves and their own demons. So we need a priest to perform an exorcism to get those demons out. Demon! That needs to happen,

so this team can just get over their own shit and get past that first and second round. Do you think that Barubi... Do you think that Barubi is a guy that believes in this type of stuff? No, and that's his biggest flaw.

That's what I was right about to say. I don't think he believes. at all. I think he needs to get on board. I don't think he believes at all. With his magic. And unfortunately, Chris, he is the guy in the horror movie that you're like, oh, buddy. Yeah.

You are an idiot. Like, you need to stop doubting the fact that this is real because it's going to bite you in the ass. I love it, dude. Yeah, I love it. All right. Next up, I got the Colorado Avalanche. Colorado Avalanche Christmas morning, they rip open the box and the tissue paper and they find new goalie equipment for Landy. realizing he can't skate anymore, he decides to take up goalie, becomes a brick wall.

His presence is felt in the locker room, and it turns out he missed his true calling this whole time. He should have been between the pipes, takes the abs, back to the cup with his new goalie equipment. Turns out he's the best Swedish goaltender of all time. Move aside, Hank. And it's always been him, Dan. And I know the hips are a problem, but I just think that it was a skating stride hip issue, not a butterfly. Not a butterfly. Hip issue.

So this solves everything. No puck's getting past him. No. This is unbelievable. This is a Goldberg situation. Yeah, exactly. Now you got a goalie skating to the red line, taking a knuckle puck from Santa Rice opportunity left and right.

When they say when we go pull the goalie, you don't even, Landy just comes up. He just pulls off the pads. He just pulls off the pads. He comes up. Unbelievable. That's huge.

That's absolutely huge. Next up for me, we're going to go, the Ottawa Senators, Chris. Ottawa Senators run down. This one's actually in their stocking. It's not even under the tree. They find a gift card to Arby's.

Because Arby's got the beef. This Senators team, I'll tell you what, man, without games in hand, they could be above Boston and be in a playoff spot already. And they've got a shot at playoffs. Okay. They're getting hot. They're playing well.

But they need some beef on that blue line. They got a lot of good, talented puck-moving defensemen. I need some beef. Give me a second pair, third pairing, shut down guy to help out Olmark, stop some of the bleeding, make sure they can hold on to some of these leads. And this team is going straight to the Stanley Cup playoffs. Just need that beef. They do. And Dan, right now, some of these Atlantic teams have kind of been doing like, oh, it's going to be the Sabres.

That's the one. And then they're gone. And oh, it's going to be Ottawa. And then they're gone. And then, oh, it's going to be Detroit. You know, and Ottawa is on a wave right now. Yeah, they're waiting. They just caught it.

They're going to take it. It's a right. It's a rolling right. Yeah. Take it down. Grab some water. Enjoy the ride. And then make sure you can paddle back out.

Because if you can't paddle back out, you're going to get washed ashore like the Sabres are right now. Yeah. That's how I feel about that. Yeah. Dan, I'm going to go to the Calgary Flames. They open up their present. Rule change. Come on.

Come on. We're changing the whole league here with all these rule changes. The team that finishes with the most points to not make the playoffs, like of all the teams that don't make the playoffs, the team who finishes with the most points gets the first pick. Oh, wow. You know what? I actually think that that's how it should work. I think, I legitimately think there should be a who is the best of the worst. Yeah.

You should earn the first round pick. This should be a playoff. There should be a playoff. Yeah. Give me a eight-team round-robin of the lowest, eight teams, the eight teams with the least amount of points in the league. Give me an eight-team round-robin to end the season to play for the first-round pick. That would be pretty cool.

It'd be really cool. I would love it. It's better than a lottery. So you only want the eight. You don't want all the 16. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So the Flames wouldn't get it in that version, but in my version with the rule change gift they've just received, they do get it. And I'm happy for them because they, Because they are behaving dumbly right now. Yeah, they're winning just enough games to not get rewarded for it in any way. On either side.

They are now. Unbelievable. I like that a lot. Okay, we're going to go down to Tampa. Tampa Bay Lightning. They go down to their fake tree out on the water and they find a buyback clause. Can you believe it? The whole time they had a buyback clause for Stevie Stamcoast when they let him go.

there's a buyback clause sitting right on the tree. They can save Stamcoaston from Nashville, reunite the gang, put them back with Vassie and Hetty and Cooch. They win another cup back in Tampa and pretend like, none of this ever happened. None of it ever had. We didn't tell you that you can just kick rocks,

and we offered you a eight-year deal at $3 million a season. We didn't do that. There's a buy-back clause. You bring them right on back, let Nashville do whatever the fuck they're doing. Put Stevie back with the boys. He's going to score 40. Yeah.

He's going to score 40. You put him on the team right now. He's still going to score 40. Dude, you know in the Santa Claus, when around the business card in tiny print is like what happened. Hey, listen, can I pause real quick? Yeah. I need to share this with the world.

You're going to tell me that you knew this and I know you didn't. I did, dude. But not my whole life. I found this out. I need to tell, I need to admit something that's, slightly embarrassing, but I feel like maybe we'll clip this, and then people will go, dude, same. Not just you.

The Santa Claus, I believe in 1994. Yeah. Maybe 92, but I believe 1994. Phenomenal Christmas film starring Tim Allen and Judd Nelson. Judge. My name's Judge. Judge Nelson. That movie is wonderful.

One of my favorite Christmas movies, The Santa Claus, starring Tim Allen. I love it. I watch it every year. I think it's really funny. And it's lovely. Heartfelt. That film is titled The Santa Claus. And there's an E on the end of Clause.

And my whole life, I just didn't think anything of it. I was like, whatever. That's not really how you spell Santa Claus, but maybe they're trying to do a personalized thing. There is a plot point in that film on a business card after Tim Allen scares Santa off the roof and then reads the card and thus becomes Santa. That is the Santa Claus, as in a contract. And that's why he becomes Santa. And the film is not titled after the titular character, Santa Claus, Pierre Noel, Popo Gijo. It is actually titled after the Sautilio.

titled after the Santa Claus on the card. And I don't, I don't know why it took me into my 30s. Now that you say, aren't you like, yeah, obviously? It's obvious. Why would there be a random eon? It is obvious. But I just think it's one of those things where when I was a kid watching this movie, I didn't, I was like, I didn't think about it.

I didn't, I didn't process it. So I didn't care. Yeah. I just knew that I would watch the Santa Claus. I just knew that I loved it. When I look up that movie on. a streamer and I type in the scent, it pops up. I don't need to remember the E. So it doesn't cross my mind. Yep. But I thought about it this year, came to that realization, and my mind was blown.

Well, I was going to say that if you look at the Tampa Bay trade, or excuse me, with the Nashville signing of stammer, if you take a magnifying glass around the outside, I believe you will see the buyback clause. You will see the stammer clause. Yeah, the stammer clause. The Stammer Clause is around his deal in Nashville. And it means he can go back. I'm going to stay with Nashville because you brought them up. And Dan, the National Predators, are you familiar with the game hearts, the card game?

Yes. I'm not versed in it, however. So it's a tricks game of four players, and you're trying to not get the hearts. Hearts are bad points. And the only other really bad one is the Queen of Spades, and you don't want that either. And if you get all the hearts and the Queen of Spades,

it's called Shoot the Moon, and it's actually a really good thing, and everyone else gets negative stuff to you, and you win that round. Wonderful. National Predators, wake up. Christmas morning. Say it with me, Dan.

Shoot the moon. Rule change. Oh, it's another rule. Turns out, this season is a shoot the moon season. And if you finish last, your first. So we're going to do upsie downsies. And no one knew, dude, until, and the Preds had a feeling that this rule change was coming. And everyone was like, what are you doing?

And then, bang, Christmas Day, the whole league finds out we're upsy downsies. And the jets are like, fuck. You know, like everybody's freaking out. Sabres are sitting pretty. But the Preds, dude, the Preds are going to be ready to rock once we initiate shoot the moon situations. Unbelievable. Turns out Barry Trots was ahead of everybody. He's a genius, dude.

He's a genius. Unbelievable. That's fantastic. Yeah. We're going to go over to Utah, to the Utah hockey club. Beautiful, snowy Christmas morning. And what do they find under the tree, Chris? What's that?

A name. Oh. Okay. A name. Yep. The one that we've already heard. Don't know what it is. But I think it's time.

Yeah. The whole Utah Hockey Club gimmick, I don't know if I'm alone in this. It's kind of run its course. It was cool. I know we've got, you know, our boy Durs was like, I kind of like hockey club. And if that's the name, that's the name. But there's an element of identity that's missing from this team. Yeah. It's been a great success. Sure, Delta Center has some obstructed views. Sure, maybe we found out we were going to get this beautiful new arena. And now it turns out we're not going to get this beautiful new arena. The jerseys are sick. But I need not Utah anymore. I'm over it. I need a name. I need identity. It's annoying. It's what everyone craves in life. And they need it. And they found it under the tree this year.

it's annoying when talking about them in text or to people where I'm like, oh yeah, the bolts, like we're talking to morals about the board. And I'm like, I actually think the wild can beat the jets. They didn't. And I'm like,

and I just hate having to type out the hockey club is going to roll tonight or it's just a weird thing. It's weird saying hockey club. It's like, I'm sick of saying Utah all the time. And I always go to Utah because that's cleaner. But then, yeah,

I don't like it. I love this gift for them. If we don't, if we don't give them a name, we can't give them a nickname and everyone deserves a nickname. So it's time for a name. What's the Shakespeare name quote? Name is just a name or something.

A rose is just a rose. I mean, I think that's completely different. A rose by any other name. Still smells us sweet. That is the Shakespeare line. Yeah, okay. The Utah Hockey Club, the Utah Hockey Club by any other name. Still skates us hard.

Yeah, would skate even harder. Shakespeare was wrong. Shakespeare was wrong this whole time. It would skate even harder. Wow. All right, Dan, my next team is the Vancouver Canucks, and I'm sorry to tell you that I actually don't know what they got, but I do have a copy of their list. So I'm going to read something off their Christmas list. Okay.

And I don't know if they're going to get it or not, but this is, I did find this on good authority. That's a federal crime, sir. I know. You stole their mail. No, I didn't steal it. I found it. Feels like you stole it. It says.

It feels like you're going to jail now. Dear Santa For Christmas this year We want one thing That we could all get along Like we used to back in middle school That we could make a cake filled with rainbows and smiles And everyone would eat it and be happy

Was that a mean girls reference? Dude, I fuck We are so ass bro I have a mean girls reference in this later as well We are so fucking lame It's like it's just I don't know why anyone listens to this show Like we just are out here

Quoting Mean Girls in the office left and right get a grip but hey wouldn't that be great for them i mean PD and j t they went in front of the media yesterday and they mother fucked everyone said this is bullshit so that's huge that's huge and that means that

this this wish is probably going to come true so that's fucking great i'm happy i'm thrilled that's great uh all right oilers chris the oilers go here we go the oilers the new the new eastern conference oilers they come down Christmas morning and what's under the tree

but it's John Gibson John Gibson of the Anaheim Ducks is now an Edmonton Oiler. Look at Lucas Dostell is the goalie in Anaheim now. It's time for Gibber to move on and there is no team in the NHL that makes more sense. Now, you would ask yourself,

is a Pacific Division trade going to happen like that? No, but it's good because they're in the Eastern Conference now so no one cares. Yeah, it's fine. John Gibson is only 31 years old. He's got plenty of great hockey left. And listen, we are seeing some sketchy, sketchy games from the Oilers and some sketchy, sketchy goals given up.

I think we just got to call it what it is. This team is a goalie away from the Stanley Cup. And John Gibson's waiting under the tree. And he's a goalie, Dan. And he's currently a good way. So go get him here. Take him from away. Put him here.

He is officially the backup in Anaheim. Make a trade, folks. Yeah. Make a trade. That's wild. Let's move to Chicago, Dan. Chicago Blackhawk. and Dan, they wake up Christmas morning

and for the last time, I promise. Say it with me. Rule change! There is no more offside for Conradard only. For Conradard only. So he can float. So, dude, he wasn't coming back playing D anyway. So just sit on the far blue

and then take it step beyond the far blue. And the defensemen are so trained to be like, well, I don't need to, I don't need to pay attention to him because he's offside. Whoops, he's not on. Offside. Whoops. J-shot. Whoops. 60 goals. And now he's a dash 10 instead of a dash 70. So, boom. Unbelievable. Rule change, Badaard, no longer offside.

Unbelievable. That changes everything, honestly, yeah. He's going to win the rocket now. That changes everything. Oh, that's big. What do you think would actually happen if he could not be offside? I think he would win the rocket. You think so? I think he would get five breakaways a game. But you could just cover him. You'd just be like he's, like the league knows. They're like he's, he can float. But it's like, it would just, it would open so many things.

I think it would genuinely change the game for them. What am I talking? I think. Absolutely would. I would love to see what would happen. It would be cool to see a game of it. Yeah, just once. Maybe Winter Classic.

No Offside Winter Classic. That'd be gas. Now we're talking. Like Winter Classic's full pawn talking, no offside. Now we're talking. Pacific Northwest Christmas, the Seattle Cracken, Under the Tree, for every single player, they find a year subscription to Hymns.

They need their spunk back. Yeah, they do. They need some lead in the pencil. They need their mojo. I don't know what's going on in Seattle, but they just, they're limp. They're soft. Yep. And we need to stiffen them up a little bit.

We need to get the blood pumping back up in Seattle. We need to get the spunk juices flowing in this cracking team. Seattle Spunk needs to come back. And that yearly subscription to Hems is going to get it going. Bring on the priaprisum, dude. I need it. Call the doctor. It's been four months.

We need it. Yeah. We need it. I'm there for that. That's a great gift. Absolutely. Okay. Take me to Pittsburgh, the Pittsburgh Penguins.

I'm barely kidding about this one, Dan. They wake up Chris this morning, and it's their boy, Mark Andre Fleury, the flower. He's been traded back. Let's completely reunite the band. And he's playing great, and he's on a team that could win a cup. But I'm just telling you, Dan, if he comes back to the boys and he gets a starting role again, He ends it where he started, and they get to make one more ride back into the playoffs and make a legitimate run with some really good goaltending. Wow.

How electric would that be, dude? That would be special. It's the prank Sinatra. I couldn't hate that for one. You know, that would be remarkable. I think it would make Sid happy, and that's what all I want is a happy sit on Christmas. That's all we've ever wanted. All the times we talk about the penguins, it's all derived from us just wanting Sid to be happy.

And bringing his buddy back, maybe throwing some pranks out there. That makes him happy. He would absolutely love that. Let's go to the San Jose Shire. Sharks, they got a big one, Chris. Under the tree is a brand new Jumbotron for SAP Center. Because clearly, these boys have no idea when the third period starts or ends, because they just keep blowing third period leads like nothing I've ever seen.

They're getting up on big teams, the Oilers, the Jets, and then the third period happens, and it all falls apart. The guys just don't know when the game's over. Yeah, correct. They think it's a shorter game. Clearly, they've got an issue with the Jumbotron with the scoreboard. We're going to get them a new one. We're going to make sure those lights are nice and bright,

that we can see them from the ice level. Boys won't be confused anymore. Yep. It's going to be great. Dan, that's next level. Yeah. That's next level. Got to take care of the boys.

I'm going to New Jersey. They wake up for Christmas morning. Unwrap a huge, really, actually not that huge present. Oh. It's Quinn Hughes. I know there's a log jam of Young D there, but it just makes sense, Dan. We need all the Hughes. It's going to be easy on their parents.

It's the holidays. They can't be traveling in their tensions spread all over the place. Bring Quinn there. Put all the Hughes Bros together. Can you even imagine that team, Dan, with Quinn? Tea. What? I'm calling it T.

Is there any legitimacy in this? Hold on. Let's talk about this. That's what I'm saying, dude. Is there a world? where maybe we look at the Siddins and just see how lovely that was. And maybe we just call up Vancouver

and we say, hey, here's Dougie Hamilton, here's Simone Nemek. Here's Shaberg, Casey. Here's Shabas. You think you would need that much? Maybe. Quinn's insane. Give us Quinn.

Let us reunite the boys. You got two or three. For the price of one. There you go. It could happen. I'm just saying. I'm saying it's not impossible. The devils have some extra D to throw around.

Yeah. With a talented, talented Dede. Not nothing chips. Like, hey, here's some real players. Just give him Dougie. Give him Nemek. Give him a first. Bob's your uncle.

Let the boys play together. Let the boys play. Like they always did. Like they grew up doing. This, I'm just saying, it's not that crazy. Best Christmas ever, dude. It's not that crazy. Christmas ever.

They'd be incredible. That might be my favorite gift. I like it. Okay. Montreal. Oh, no. A Quebec Roque, Christmas. Under the tree.

It's an extension for Patrick Line. Yeah, good. He's the best goal score to ever live, and he fits with Montreal better than lamb and tuna fish, Chris. This man, I believe, has nine goals in eight games. Something like that. It's just all working so great. He and Cole love.

each other. The rebirth of Patrick Line in Montreal has been amazing. He's got this year and next year still under contract, but just extend him now. Get it done. Do you make sure the people know he is a part of this future. He's a part of the program and just wrap it up. Put a bow on it. I can't believe. I'm so devastated even more now that he got hurt at the beginning of the season considering how many goals he's pumping in and how sick that would have been for the habs right away. I mean, he would have scored 50. He's unbelievable. He still might. He still might. Nuts.

Unbelievable. You love to see it. In Philly, Dan, they open up their present Christmas morning and there is a coupon good for one free Mitchcoff, Michigan. And hear me out. You know the scene. Free of repercussion from torts? Free to go in and of repercussion.

Wow. A two for one. Because you know that scene? in Hitch when the dickhead dude is like he's talking to Hitch about the girl and he goes he's like you know I just. Vance Munson is a pig. Vance Munson dude. Nice. When he goes, I can't, I can't be able to get that girl out of my head until I get in there. And Hitch is like, you're disgusting.

Leave. I think Mitch Koff can't get the Michigan out of his head until he sees one get in there. And it's like it's obsessing his brain every time he's got the puck behind the net now. So I want to give him a coupon for one good one, and then he can use it right away, get it in there, and then it'll open up his whole game. I'll never think about it again, dude. It's done with it.

Yeah, I like that element of it. Like, let him get one, and then he's like, okay, check, box checked. I don't need to do it anymore. Dan, can I tangent you for one thing here? Because this just blew my mind. Of course. You let me go on a Santa Claus tangent. You can have one as well, my friend.

It's Christmas. I almost said, I almost gave them this for Christmas, because I'm looking at the goalies, okay? And the flyers, here's the goal tending from the flyers this year. From Sammy, from Alexi, and from the Fed. 8-8-1, say percentage 309 goals against. 878, say percentage 3-34 goals against. 8-7-7-safe percentage 348 goals against.

It's horrible. Horrible. Not good. The HL stuff. So I was going to say, for Christmas, they opened their present, and it's a young Ron Hextall. He's back. he's back to man the pipes for the flyers.

Oh my gosh, that would be huge. But Dan, the reason I didn't give it to him, listen to this, dude. Ron Hextall played from the Flyers from 86 to 92. All right. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today.

And may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease, cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan, live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. That's before we were really consciously watching hockey. But my memory of Ron Heschall is like he was one of the greats. Listen to his stats these years, Dan. I'll just give it year by year. Same percentage goals against. 9.02, 301, 886. 351, 891, 323, 868415, 892, 8983-3-4-0. That's Ron Hextall's career as a flyer goalie.

What? Not great. Did he stink? I literally thought he was like the great. What was his record? I thought he was one of the great flyers goalies of all time, Dan. What was his record? Let me pull up.

You know, we don't need to pull more stats, but those aren't great numbers. That blew my mind. like wins you know he's he's like 30 and 28 yeah 13 and 16 16 and 21 like I'm like wait you were bad I mean I don't know if he was bad I think flies from to be like he's not bad but those numbers aren't good I wasn't there I wasn't watching but that's actually blew my mind so they did not get her young line Xoll they do get a free Mitchcoff Michigan yeah that's big that's huge next one I'm going to capies Chris okay Washington capitals also a big one You got to go out to the driveway for this one because it's a whole fleet of parade floats.

And make sure they're stock full of beer because this team is getting back Ovi. They're possibly getting back Osi. And they're adding Ryan Leonard. Get the parade boats ready, folks, because this is over. 2018 and all over again, this team is going cup hunting in a big way. Make sure you've got these parade floats filled with. gas and filled with beer. Dude, that was bold.

That's a bold Christmas gift. I'm just saying. And I love it. I love it for the caps. I love it for you, but that is bold. I don't know if Santa has that power. Imagine this team,

playing how they are, adding Ovi, Oce, and Ryan Leonard. Yeah, that's crazy. Insane. I'm going to Winnipeg for the Winnipeg Jets. I can hear me out on this one, but for Christmas, they have struck oil.

I don't like this. Here's what I mean. I don't like this. There's now oil in Winnipeg, which means all the citizens of Winnipeg are now rich because there's oil, which means they can afford tickets, which means the barn is even more packed. And not only is it sold out every night, Dan, but it's sold out with newly rich psychos from Winnipeg. Try to win a playoff game. Try to win a road playoff game there when you've got oil Winnipeg people. You got oil money there now.

There's oil money up in Winnipeg now. You don't want to meet a rich. A new rich Jet's fan. You don't want to meet that guy. He's going to heckle you till your fucking wheels fall off. That's unbelievable.

Boom. Oil strikes in Winnipeg. Boom. Stanley Cup. Wow. Not the oil you thought, but the oil they need. That is big.

How about that? Big, big, big. All right. In Carolina, Chris, the hurricanes, they come down and under the tree is an ebug. It's an ebug.

I have never in my entire life seen a hockey team like the Carolina Hurricanes when it comes to golly health. They are the most unlucky team in the world. They need a miracle. Thank God it's Christmas because Santa Claus has provided them with an e-bug just in case, just in case they keep running into these goalie issues. They've got a little bit of insurance. They've got goalie insurance.

They've got frog protection, goalie protection, because they need it. Can I pile on here real quick, Dan? Always. The e-bug is Jim Craig. because I heard you say they need a miracle. They need an emergency goalie, and it needs to be a miracle. And who better than the goalie who completed the miracle, Jim Craig. Talk about dust and off the pads.

Literally probably in this case. Cup. Unbelievable. Dan, take me to Columbus, the Columbus Blue Jackets. They wake up Christmas morning and they find out that Ryan Day, coach of Ohio State football team, has taken the head coaching job of the Columbus Blue Jackets. He stays in Columbus.

He walks over to coach the hockey team. where he stays true to form and beats every team in the league except for Michigan. So if my math is correct, next year, the Blue Jackets go 79 and three in the regular season, losing only three times to the Red Wings, and then they get swept in the Eastern Conference finals by the Red Wings, but still that's a hell of a season. Well, the Red Wings would have to make playoffs for that to happen, so hopefully. Oh, nice. Don't even think about that.

Michael Scott's 45-day plan hasn't totally kicked in yet. So Ryan Day comes over to Columbus, stays in Columbus. Coach Blue Jackets goes 79 and 3 in the regular season and then wins 16 straight playoff games on the way to a cup, and the Red Wings missed the playoffs. For the last time ever. For the last time ever, because then, and then Ryan Day will eventually lose like 10 straight Eastern Conference finals for nothing. And begrudgingly, he will get fired.

You cannot beat the Red Wings, you fucking idiots. And he's like, I don't know what to tell you. But hell, dude, the Blue Jackets would love to have that success. I want that for them. And 79 wins is an NHL record, so that's pretty sick. I love it. Going back to another snowy Christmas up in Minnesota, the wide. Christmas Day for the wild.

It is an early exit for the Denver pioneers in the Frozen Four tournament so they can get Ziav Boyem and his ass straight to St. Paul, ASAP, and get on this team and help get the wild back on track. They need Boyum. He should have been in the league this year. He went back because he wanted to win another Natty or I don't know if he wanted. I think he did win a Natty. He wants to win another Natty. Zev, sorry, you can't have another one. You're out early.

You're on this wild team because you're making their Christmas dreams come true. Bad Christmas for Denver, good Christmas for Minnesota. And that's fine because they deserve those things. Yes. You had enough Minnesota. You're taking care of your future employee. It's what you got to do. Yeah, yeah.

That's the way the world works. That's the way the world works. Business, business, business. It's just business. Okay, Dan, now I'm going to go to the New York. I'm going to go on Long Island to the New York Islanders. Wow. For Christmas morning, Dan, they wake up, they rip the paper everywhere,

and they find a bopet. Okay. Dad, because the Islanders need to have some fun. And not only do they need to have some fun, but the fans need to have some fun, the people viewing them need to have some fun. Everything about the Islanders just hasn't been fun for a while, and they need a toy to make them feel like a kid again. So I went to a toy, an iconic toy from our childhood, and Dan, for a hundred bucks, can you tell me the five things that you do on a Boppet? Well, first of all, sir, that's a Boppet extreme that you're talking about. No, dude, no.

Yes, it is. The original bopit, Chris, the original bopit is just a bop it. It's a twist it and it's a pullet. The bop it extreme added a flicket and a spin it. So, nice try. How the fuck. Nice try. Okay, I owe you $100.

And hey, if you want me to tell you the colors of those things, I can do that too. No, you can't, dude. I sure can't. I dare you. The bopet is purple. The twisted is yellow. The pullet is blue. The spin it is red and the flicket is green.

That is fucking bad shit insane. Have you ever wondered which one of us was more autistic? Have you been boppeting? I have been sneaking away for the last 30 years of my life to just play bop it in a closet whenever I feel too anxious or too worked up about something. It brings me back down, dude. It brings me back down. The islanders need it, Dan, and we're going to get them a bopet extreme.

And have some fun. Be a kid. Be a kid out there. Be a kid again, dude. Have a good time. Just have some fun. I could probably show you the ropes. Next up, Chris, we're going down to South Florida again to the Florida Panthers.

And under the tree, unfortunately, this one's not for everyone, but it's going to help everyone because it's a box acalteen bars for Bob. This guy has played 23 games of 35 this season. And even though they're in first place, he's been a little leaky. You've been calling him out. He has been a little leaky. His save percentage is under 900. And listen, we found out in these games, all these games, he's playing some of these OT ones. He's losing 16 pounds of game.

This guy's going to disappear. We got to put some meat on those bones again, maybe fill up that net a little bit. Stop letting some of these goals go in. We're going to beef him up. We're going to give him some calteen bars so we can put on weight. I love that, Dan.

Imagine if he just kept his weight, if he kept his fighting weight the whole time. He might never give up a goal. Never get scored on again. It's unbelievable. My last one, I'm going to Vegas, and Vegas at Christmas gets a Frankenstein monster version of Mark Stone,

so that whenever Markstone hurts something, they can take out that ligament or bone or muscle or organ of the Frankenstein Markstone and put it in the real Markstone and he can play. And it'll be fine. And then now they are a force who will never lose their captain. And now look out, cookout for the rest of the NHL. CP, you should have just said a cadaver. That's like realistic.

They should just get a cadaver on retainer for every time Markstone gets an injury. They just go, got them open, dude. Got him open and put a new one in. Like he needs to be our dad. Like our dad for the listeners has gone full bunker dad. And the garage is just filled with rations of stuff everywhere. We need rations of ligaments for Mark Stone over in Vegas. Just start collecting bodies.

ACL, MCL, left, left or right? Like right, right, right. PCL, right, PCL, boom. Get it in there. New meniscus, got it. Here we go. That's beautiful. He'll be just fine.

He'll be just fine. All right, my last gift, Chris, is going to be for the Dallas stars. And it's a big box again. And it's filled, chock a buck, full of power play goals. Oh, nice. Has slipped to fourth in the central. And a big part of that is because they are 25th in the national in powerplay goals. How in the fuck do you have this much talent on your roster and you are 25th in the league in powerplay?

That is not acceptable, sir. and I'll tell you what, that type of stat is the thing that's going to get you booted from the playoffs again. So get your shit together, figure out your power play. I love this team. I'm on their bandwagon. I'm on like seven bandwagon. Yeah, yeah, per usual. But I'm on the Dallas bandwagon.

And I'll tell you what, this team is frustrating as fuck to watch because they're just losing games. They have no business losing. Tyler Shaghan going out has been deadly. And the power play is brutal. So fortunately, for Christmas, we've got a bunch of those powerplay goals. Use them whatever you want. Whatever you want. I would suggest you use them when you're on the power play.

That's actually the only time you can use them, but save them for whatever power play you want. Beautiful stuff. All right. That is our Christmas gifts. Am I right? Yeah, it is. That is our 32 Christmas gifts for every team in the league. Merry Christmas to every single one of you.

I hope it's everything that you wanted. And that sentence usually finishes with and a happy new. year. So let's take you right into the New Year's resolutions for the four divisions. Let's start in the Atlantic because as you said at the beginning of this episode when you were making a fool of yourself. We are looking at the Atlantic Ocean. So let's start there. Dan, what is the resolution? For the Atlantic Division, our resolution is going to be to share more. Listen, you guys have been hog in playoff spots for like eight years now. It's unbelievable. You've had your time. It's time to snap it around and spread the wealth.

Ottawa's knocking on the door. Look at them. They're above 500. They're winning games. They could be in a playoff spot right now. It's time we step aside, share, give someone else a turn. Let's someone pop into the playoffs. Been those big four for a minute, Dan, and it would be cool to see some of these fan bases

get a bit at it. I'm in for that. In the Met, the resolution for the Metro Division is in 2025. We promise we won't say a single word about the canes being dangerous until they reach the Stanley Cup finals. And in fact, I will say, Dan, I don't even think, and you just gave the Washington Capitol's parades for Christmas, but I'm not even sure I'm willing to allow the MET to say a word about any of their teams.

Sir, I gave them parade floats. It's up to them if they want to use them or not. Fair, fair, fair, fair. But I want them. I think, Dan, the MET is the least likely division to win the cup. What do you think? I think I would go, because it's any team. I'm not saying what...

I'm saying central. Actually, I... I would go central Atlantic Pacific Met is my order of likely to win the cup. I'm not entirely sure that I will agree with that yet. I really love Washington and the Devils. Sorry, Carolina. Give me your order. I'm sorry, Carolina fans.

I'm sorry, you're going to yell at me. They're not allowed to say anything. They're not allowed to say anything. I'm not prepared to give you my order of who I think is going to win the cup right now. I want it. Give it to me. I can't. I can't do it.

Most likely is the Central. There's so many teams there that could win it. No. I think most likely is the Atlantic because of one team. The Leifes. The Senators. Absolute ricketing. I still think Florida's the team to beat.

I still think the Florida is the team to beat. The Mets the least likely. I hear what you're. saying. But don't you think it's actually the Pacific? Because other than Edmonton, like, I know you're being like, I think Edmonton is likely, but I just think, like, I wouldn't be shocked if the caps or the devils went to the cup. I wouldn't be shocked if the, I wouldn't be shocked if the Wild Jets or Dallas went to the cup. Yeah, Central's the first me. And I wouldn't be shocked if the Panthers bolts, that, sorry, Leaves, I'm going to stop there. I wouldn't be shocked if the Panthers or Bolts went

to the cup. Really? No Leafs? I would be shocked if the Maple Leafs went to the cup, dude. I think that they're amazing, but even Leafs fans would be shocked. Yeah, fair.

I do, I think the only team in the Pacific that I wouldn't be shocked if they made it is the Oilers. If the Oilers go to the Cup, I'll be like, yep, if the Kings made this cup, I'd be like, holy shit, I'd be the happiest man on Earth. But I'd be like, holy shit, if the Canucks

made, I'd be like, wow, I did not see that coming. Really, the Pacific only has one team that Vegas. Oh, yeah, what am I talking about? Vegas. So I'm like, I'd be a little surprised with Vegas. Like, they're sick, but, like, I would be like, wow, I wasn't really banking on Vegas. I still think, I think Edmonton is the only team in the Pacific that I'm like, yep.

Vegas is very close, though. But I get what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm going to do the Central. The Central's resolution in 2025. Hold on. Sorry, like, after I'm saying it, like, I expect Vegas to be in the Cup more than the Devils. The Devils, right, yeah.

we're going to say the Met is the least likely. Matt's the least likely. And it's not a bad thing. I'm just telling you they're the least likely to win the cup. Yeah. Okay. My Central Division or the Central Division, New Year's resolution that we've come up with is in 2020, in 2025, the Central Division promises no matter what the two three matchup in the first round is.

They won't say, oh my God, this should have been the Western Conference finals. We know there's three sick teams in the Central. Two are going to play in the first round. It sucks. We all hate it. It blows every time. Stop. I don't care that that should be the Western Conference Finals.

It isn't. It's the first round to play. And we are telling you, we all agree. It sucks, yeah. We all agree. We just don't need to say it anymore. The New Year's resolution is just give it a rest. We don't need to say it.

We all know it. We're going to get past it. Yep. And then for the Pacific, the last resolution of the divisions, the Pacific New Year's resolution is to start games a little bit earlier. It'd probably be beneficial for everybody. We can't have any of the, These teams getting more traction around the fan bases in the league.

You know what? Someone on the East Coast saying, you know what? I'm going to start watching some sharks games. Celebrini, Will Smith. These guys are fun. Tophers, burying goals left and right. I want to watch this team. You see a great matchup between the Oilers and the Vegas Golden Knights.

That is a heavyweight matchup. I want to watch that game. It doesn't end until one fucking a.m. Yeah. You want to watch that game? I hope you work the night shift in the lobby of a hotel, sir. Because otherwise you will not be watching that game. You are the last toll booth worker alive.

And I hope you have a little TV in there. Because that's the only chance you're going to get to watch it. Maybe we just start playing games a little bit earlier. And I'm not saying anything crazy. An hour. Puck drop at six. Yeah. Buck drop at six, it's going to make a lot more sense.

It's going to be great. Listen, we've got Christmas gifts, we've got New Year's resolutions. This was a holiday cheermeister type of episode. It is Christmas Day, folks. I hope that you're listening on Christmas Day. And if you're listening on Boxing Day, or maybe those dolder days between Christmas and New Year's either way. We are so happy to be joining you right now. We wish you the happiest Christmas. Hopefully your day and your break and your weeks are filled

with cheer, happiness, family time with friends, family, and other loved ones. And we hope it's been magnificent. We love you. Happy Christmas. And until we see you next time, find a frozen pond, find your ODR, and skate hard. Thank you.