Empty Netters Podcast - Is Most Valuable Primate The Worst Hockey Movie Ever Made? | EP.224

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

Billy Langdon and the guys watched Most Valuable Primate for the first time and they have some thoughts. They had out their awards for MVP, LVP, best part, worst part, and biggest laugh. And they break down the ins and outs of the chaos that is this iconic hockey movie. NEW EPISODES EVERY TUESDAY & THURSDAY! PRESENTED by BetMGM. Download the BETMGM app and use code “NETTERS” and enjoy up to $1500 in bonus bets if you lose your first wager! SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: MUG. Check out https://www.mugrootbeer.com/find-mug to find out how you can get your paws on some MUG. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our first shot of how good Steve is at hockey, we see him in the middle of play, drop to his knees, and do a 360 spinorama before getting up and scoring a goal, and then getting leveled onto the ice by his own teammates. No time to Selly in Junior B, they say. Ice is ready, and we are back with another episode of the Empty Netters podcast brought to you by BEDMGM. I am your host, Dan Powers, and with me, a man who threw up once from drinking too much, then proceeded to eat so much salsa that he gave himself a chemical bowl. burn on the roof of his mouth. Chris Powers.

Oh, I thought that was you. I also thought that was me. Yeah. As always. We have so much in common. And then also joining us, he may try to remove all of his tattoos, but he can never remove the bad decisions that brought him to this very moment. Wow. Billy Langda.

Oh, man. Really personal. I hope my mom's not watching. She doesn't know yet. Yeah. That you're removing them? Yeah. Or that you have tattoos?

Have you been wearing a skin suit every time you've been with your mother since you you were age 14? Or a little earlier. Yeah. It's the same one. They're so fucking expensive. So it's just really, I can barely believe. Possible to clean too.

I'm 400 pounds. This thing just seals it all in. Yeah. You're wearing a full body spanks. Yeah. It's fantastic. And I fucking hate what Kim K did. She took my idea.

Yeah, I do. And she's a billionaire now. Yeah. And here I am. It could have been one of the two of you. It could be Kim K sitting with us right now. Yeah. But unfortunately for us, it's a you.

Yeah. And unfortunately for me, I'm here as well. That's what I could be. If I could, I could trade places with her right now. Let it be clear. No one wants to be here. No. We all want to be where Kim Kay is.

Because I just, we just spent the night watching the worst movie. Guys. Ever created. First time ever in these empty netters hockey movie reviews that we, because you hadn't seen it. No, sir. We hadn't seen it too. Usually we watch it with people who have never seen the movie.

This is the first time all three of us went in cold. That's why I picked it because he was like, I've never seen it. So I figured we might as well experience everything together. To the listeners, we are back with another movie review. We are reviewing most valuable primate MVP. And we actually wanted to do Youngblood, but apparently Youngblood is impossible to find on streaming. Thank you. We need to apologize for the end of the Tuesday episode.

Yes. Because we're like, we're next on, see you Thursday when we get into Youngblood. We did not know at the time, you cannot watch Youngblood. Unless you own it on Blu-ray and somehow still own a Blu-ray player, you can't. not watch it. And I assume that's a better movie. Insane to believe that easy to access most valuable primate, impossible to find an actually good movie. How? How? What is the point of Amazon? I don't know. The one win we have of this experience was that it was free on Amazon. Yes, Dan. If we had paid U.S. dollars for that experience, I would be enraged. Imagine the

balls on somebody to think, oh, yeah, a person out there is going to pay for this. It would have It's been really funny if it was like 99 cents. Yeah. Even that, I'd be like, oh, Christ. Anything over zero is a big ass. It's a real problem. So, again, we have viewed MVP most valuable primate. We're going to get into this movie.

I'm going to drive us through the plot. We will react and respond to everything we saw. Before we do that, let's all take a quick moment to say what we think this film was actually about. Would you like to start? I think we probably have the same takeaway. Yeah. Dan and I. Yeah, you do watch together. We watched it together. We did. And I think that's it. That was important because when you watch something that insane, to sit there alone with no one to reflect with is a form of torture, which is what you did. Chris texted us during the movie and we just ghosted them. Yeah, that's true. And we also, at the end of it, we sat there and said exactly that and we're like, I can't believe Chris just watched that alone. He just experienced that by himself insanity. Dude, not to give away my sock moment, but at one point I laughed at Sandra, who was not in the room, but she was like, she knew what I was doing, pokes her head into the living room and goes, did you just laugh at that movie? And I was like, yeah.

I laughed a couple times. I laughed a couple times. All right, Billy, what do you think that movie was about? Monkey Pine Hockey. I'm going to jump right on board. I'm going to jump in. I believe there was an attempt at some sort of allegory. about being handicapped that was completely dwarfed by the fact that the only takeaway from that film is that a chimpanzee

plays hockey. I believe that movie is, the message of that movie is getting into the spotlight is all that matters, even if it means adopting a monkey, convincing your brother to fall in love with him and talking him into saving

it so you can take his place and be the hero. Wow. I think it's about long cons. Interesting. And a mastermind plan. I think it's about a mastermind plan to get the spotlight. But because it's just the spotlight. Because to be clear, she's never going to play on that team. Ever.

Ever. Ever again. She got one sliding shot. She wasn't even on her skates. She slid on her stomach. They could have hired a seal. Yeah. They didn't need her.

No. In fact, they should have got a seal. He would have slid better. A wet, slimy seal. Gentlemen. As we begin to enter the plot of this film. Yes, Dan. it opens with a title card that says Airbud Studios or Airbud Production.

I was not appallel. I was like shocked by that. I was like, oh, wow. So I tease this before we started recording. And before we get into the plot, I am going to tell you this. Up until the year 22 of our Lord, the director of this film, a man, Robert Vince. Oh, yeah. I haven't heard this yet.

This is going to be funny. has continued to direct live action animal-based film and television projects. MVP Most Valuable Primate, which we just watched was his first directing credit of his career. The debut. He did, however, produce AirBud. Okay.

He since has directed, I'm going to do this as fast as humanly possible. MVP2, most vertical primate, AirBud, seventh inning fetch, MXP, most extreme primate, Chestnut, Hero of Central Park, Spymate, Air Buddie. snow buddies, space buddies, Santa buddies, the secret for Santa Paws, spooky buddies, treasure

buddies, Santa Paws 2, the Santa Pups, Super Buddies, Russell Madness, Monkey Up, Pup Star, Pup Star, Better Together, Pup Star World Tour, Pup Stars Christmas, Pup Academy, Russell Maniac, Scaredy Cats, Super Pups with a Z, and Phantom Pups. This man has been on a... I've a knot in my stomach. This man has been on a 22-year rain. of making live action animal base content. Dude, he must be rich as fuck too. You think so? He might be.

I bet he's rich as fuck. Why? Like, you think these movies are making him a ton of money? I think that these things probably cost $50,000 to produce. And they are probably streaming millions and millions of times to brain dead children across America. I just like, do you think he was maybe a zookeeper before all this? Like, is he qualified? Is he, like, overly. qualified to be dealing with these animals because like could you imagine directing i mean very

capable monkey but could you imagine trying to get a monkey to do things i can't work with this like if it's not something you want to do that is a director's nightmare and the only explanation is that he was literally hitler in a past life to come back and be forced to do this i it's it's genuinely remarkable stuff and i'm going to tell you i don't know if it's puppy star christmas or santa pups when did he know dad santa pause I'm not getting out. He did a few, and he was like, I'm going to get the next board. If you go to this man's, I'm trying to see what this one is.

If you go to his IMDB page, a trailer begins playing of a Santa-based dog film, brought to you by Disney, the Mouse House. And in the trailer, it goes, hold on, let me get to this part. It gives you a swooping crescendo of. from the creator of Santa Buddies to get you really fired up. To get you really fired up. And I believe this trailer is for, yeah, Santa Paz. Excuse me, the search for Santa Paz.

And I'll tell you what, brother. I think he must have just produced this one. But the CGI in this looks better than some of the most recent Marvel projects. Come on. I don't know. It's high quality. I think Chris is right. I think this guy's a multi-millionaire.

Me too. You know what? Suck it, dude. You know what good? I'm glad because like nobody else wants to do what he's doing. You're right. Dude, you're right. We're talking earlier about us selling out. You'll find another director. Paying. We were talking about earlier, us selling out this guy. This is the definition of a man selling his soul. Oh, yeah. And I don't know if I blame him. I feel like they actually at one point maybe did convince him early on like he's got the next born. And like he was trying, he's getting ideas, the studio that makes these with him, Airbud, found out he was going a different

direction and they set this whole thing up to come in a meeting and they get to casting and they go here's your options it's like six farm animals he's like which one do you want to play he's he's just born literally like a child looking at one of those talk boxes that has the various animals which movie would you like to make what are we doing this time we yeah dan and i actually were theorizing about this last night specifically with the air bud movies because he was listing off the names yeah and it's it feels like they sat down and 50 people pitched every possible, like, play on words for an animal sports film. And then once they had them all went, okay, which one do we start?

They made every, because we're making all of them. That's so funny. It's remarkable. I mean, I can't. Is that it? It's all we have. There's got to be more. I can't believe the things that he is continuing to work on.

It's remarkable. I wonder what it'll do next. We should yank it to a premiere of the next one. I would love nothing. I mean, I hope he finds this. and asks us to be his guests of honor. He should come on the pod if possible. Yeah, yeah.

I don't think there's enough money in the world to pay him. The guy's clearly a billionaire. Yes. It's unbelievable. And after what we are about to do to this movie, I actually don't think he'll be coming on the podcast. Okay, let's get into MVP. Movie starts, we have a chimpanzee who wakes up in a bed,

dressed in pajamas, itching his butt like a human. Can I say something about the opening? Of course. 50 seconds in, there's an incredible fathead collection. of hockey players. It's like Gretzky, Patrick Wall. I think it was a Yashin. I was like, wow, like someone just like Googled, you know, like, yeah. And I wrote in the notes, I love the high school room in movies. Like, there's always like the most insane posters and everything,

you know, all the pieces of flare. And again, I didn't know, I knew that there was a chimp in the movie. But my next note is, oh my God, it's a chip already. Like I thought this was like, here's the kid we will follow in this movie. And I can't wait to meet the chip. We're instantly introduced to the chip. That is literally what I was about to say. is verbatim, oh my God, they're actually doing this. Yeah. So we see him shower, brush his teeth. Then he sits down for breakfast and almost like a clip away from home improvement. A man like sticks his head through the window. Yeah. Starts giggling at him and then is like, hi, Jack. And we are maybe 90 seconds into this film. And we get our

first dose of what in the world is happening here. Does this man have? Does this man, have Down syndrome. Literally. It's a question. I actually would, I think more than anything, I want to know what was written on the page in his character description. Like, did he interpret it perfectly or did he take it in his own direction? One, like, I've never needed more answers to that question. This, I believe, Darren. Does he? He could, right? The guy could. Like, maybe the guy, I mean, that actor. He, like, that was his idea. Or I'm saying, like, maybe that guy. I don't think he does. His name is Russell Ferrier, and he is an actor who's like working.

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Steady working. I don't know, man. Steady working. I'm going to go ahead and say that, like, there actually is supposed to be something wrong with that character. I don't know, dude. We'll get into it. The more we see Darren, maintenance, Darren, the more we'll get into it.

I don't know. don't know. So turns out Jack's part of a display at a college. And we see students come in. Quick cutaway to a couple of kids. Can I say something about that display? Please. Because

we start with the, oh my God. It's a, it's already a monkey somehow. And you watch him go about his day. And then they pull back that curtain after like the weird morning. Because you're looking at it's like, where does this guy, where does this monkey live? Yeah. Yeah. Like it's a weird six setup. He's in his, in his like, kitchen, but it's also like an alleyway.

Yeah. And they pull the curtain back and they show you the class. And for one second, you go, oh, it's an experiment. And then you look at it for the second second and you think, hold on, we're just supposed to buy that this is the class, like watching a monkey in this experiment. Like this is a whole class. Who fed himself off care of. Like, wouldn't that have been interesting for them to see?

Like, he's not even doing it. He did the whole thing. He takes a shower, wraps a towel around. himself and brushes his teeth and that wasn't apparently impressive enough to display. That was not part of it. So I just found that really funny that they give us that and expect the audience go, oh, that's what he's doing there. Yeah. So we quickly cut away from that to see a bunch of kids skating on a pond. That's it. We even thought the move by the way. Oh, wait, hold on. Oh, yeah. Please. Quick cut away. Quick cut back. We now have a professor on stage with Jack.

And he goes, you have 10 bananas. I take six away. How many do you have? Jack holds up three fingers, laughs, holds up four. Class dismissed because our professor starts sweating. Similar to mystery Alaska. Early signs of poor health from a human here. He goes, dude, how are people supposed to know you're a genius if you joke around like that? Quick cut back to the girl from the pawn scene being in school and she has no friends. Quick cut back to the doctor on the phone with someone from Simeon, whatever this place is, wants to bring Jack home.

Guys, I can't stress this enough. All of that was a grand total of 120 seconds. Yes, dude. Billy and I got about 30 minutes into this movie, and I was like, we must be on scene 76 right now. Dude, every scene in this film is 30 seconds long. And I'm not talking cuts in the same scene. It is literally seen, speed through whatever's happening,

new scene, speed through whatever, barely any dialogue. Nothing, because half the scene's like, oh my God. Maybe we'll wait until we get to this sequence, because there's one we were talking about where he's on the train. Should we just wait? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Truly insane.

Then for us at least, we get to our first, oh my gosh, maybe there's something here in this movie. We see the girl from the pond who now has no friends in school, shows up at home, her mother asks, her name's Tara, asks her how her day was, signs to her. Boom. Tara's death. Boom.

I actually, I audibly went, oh, my God, Tara's death. Yeah. And Billy and I were like, okay, I'm seeing it. This is how we saw Jack, the chimpanzee signing. Maybe that's going to be a thread here. It's not. On that real quick when she gets, because you're talking about when she gets home, right? And she's really sad.

The birthday debacle. I was just thinking back on it because I wrote, oh, shit, she's deaf. I didn't realize. And the, I'm now pissed at the birthday girl because she's going, everyone's invited. Everyone's invited. And I'm like, you know she's, this is not Tara's first day. Yeah. You know that there's a deaf girl in the class.

That that phrase is not. You might need to go out of your way and hand her an invite dude. Like that is fucking devastating. That Chris is a great point because we actually don't know anything about the, what is their name? Like Waterhouse, West House. Yeah. The family. The, yeah, Steve and Tara.

Westover. The Westover family clearly lost through. multiple studio notes. There was backstory on the Westover family and why they're now in Western Canada. Yep. They just went, forget it. We don't, no one needs to know.

It doesn't matter. They're there. No one needs to know why they're here. Because I actually believe that was probably meant to be Tara's first day at school. Yeah. So maybe, yeah, but they don't tell us that. It doesn't matter because they're there now.

They're there now. I also want to say this. Movie came out in 2004 or like early 2000. 2000? 2000, even better. the second I saw a deaf girl in there, I go, not an actual deaf girl. Oh, dude, same. So funny you say that, bro. Don't even have to look it up. So, so funny you say that. I was like, wow, this is back when they didn't care.

When we just cast anybody in that. Just like anybody, honestly, most likely able-bodied. She does the best deaf voice I've ever heard in my life. It's remarkable. So good. So we get that scene. She's crying. Steve, good brothers, like she didn't get invited to the party. Tara's mom, legend.

She's like, everything's going to be okay. People are going to love you, I promise. 30 seconds later. Jack and maintenance Darren. They're having a quick cleanup of the entire school. As you called out, Billy, indentured servitude like you read about. He's working in the night shift. He is a...

The guy is a literal animal in a cage on display for the humor of students. He's a lab rat. Exactly. And then he cleans the entire school. He's a lab rap by day, and the second is doing sleep, they go, get to work. Dude, you literal slave animal. Go to work. Clean up the whole university.

And we're supposed to sit there and go, what a great relationship. Him and maintenance Darren have. It's like he's literally, he's not stopped working. He then plays checkers with Darren, eats his marshmallow, they go to bed. Also, Darren kisses Jack one too many times. Good night. He's a nice father figure, I actually thought. Like, when they were playing checkers and like reading story, when he started reading to him, I was like, good night gorilla.

Are you kidding? We're into goodnight gorilla. This is guy. I put, this could not possibly be in Darren's job description. Oh, no. No. He's doing huge liberties. Why the decision to not make that good night chimpanzee?

And gorilla specifically? Yeah. It was clear. It was like, good night cow. Good night. Yeah, maybe, maybe. But, I mean, fucking. Good night.

Girolla, kind of like the alliteration, maybe. The alliteration, yeah. It's a real book. Okay, fair, fair. So after the way too many kisses, good night, way too many. We see Steve going out to try out for junior B hockey and it is a fucking madhouse. I mean, this is. I did write.

Junior B, that practice is spot on. Like, these kids have flamed out of Junior A and they call it the jungle, Junior B. Oh, really? When they walked in it, it was five brawls. I was like, well, you know. Wait, is that actually what it's like? Yeah, yeah. It's not bad.

It's not that bad of hockey. Okay. I mean, these kids are, they can't even skate. It's certainly better than that, but it is a Madhouse Junior. Yeah, it's just, it's a tough league. So we meet some of the guys, including Ryan Northkin. Stevie Weeks is just in this movie. I was like, that's Stevie?

Dude, that's fucking hilarious. Incredible. You wouldn't, this is from the Mystery Alaska episode. Right. So the actor who plays Stevie Weeks, and, by you know, By the way, Mystery Alaska came out in 1999. This comes out in 2000. Like, he followed up.

Stevie Weeks. Who does he play? His name's like Scoops or something. But he's uncredited. He's all the way at the bottom of the cast list. That's insane. I'm like, that's Stevie Weeks. I wonder if he asked to be out of it.

Like, Mystery Alaska came out and he was like, do not credit me in this movie. I'm not even kidding. Yeah. I wonder if that happens. I don't doubt it. I don't doubt it. So we then see, we get a clip of Steve playing.

Yeah. And we have talked a lot, Billy, in some of these breakdowns. about how they depict hockey. Mr. Alaska, good. The hockey looks solid. Mighty Ducks, oftentimes quite bad. We, in our first, again, 30-second scene max, in our first shot of how good Steve is at hockey,

we see him in the middle of play, drop to his knees, and do a 360 spinorama before getting up and scoring a goal and then getting leveled onto the ice by his own teammates. No time to Selly in Junior B. They say, dude, the knee spin. I wrote Steve, knee, spin.

dude like you gotta be kidding me that's how you wow the team though I'll do that much I've never seen that move my whole life yeah I think like I think there's something we were talking about last night of a 360 yeah just being a universal to anybody who doesn't know the sport this guy's got a good grasp on this this this guy must be the real deal yeah no question 360 free stop in anything in any sport any activity if someone does a 360 I'm like yeah or flip that guy said if we're really going for it they did a flip happens of course yeah we're talking she's the man. Yeah.

Backspin. Don't you think I wrote this down? Every time there's a hockey movie that doesn't do hockey well, someone does the, like, duck going down the board as well. Someone hits the one hand on the stick. Like that's never happened on earth. Somebody dives over them. It's really always at some point one hand on the stick protecting the, it's

absolutely madness. Pretty sure there's a bunch of scenes in there too where similar to Mighty Ducks. At one point, Steve's playing righty. At one point, he's playing left. It's crazy. Not spoil anything. The hockey gets worse. Yeah.

Infinitely. So we then see the doctor who was with Jack. He's like reading a book, drinking a glass of milk, as one does. With a massive cookie, by the way. Yeah, I don't know if you caught that. It's like one of the biggest cookies I've ever seen. Big cookie. It's like Dr. Kendall.

I know what's killing you. He dies. And we then see a man show up at class the next day and delivers the craziest line to announce that he's dead. Did you remember what he said? No, I just said. But it was just like he is like deceased or like no, it was absolute madness. That scene, we get a sad jack immediately cuts to again 30 seconds later our first game.

No one's passing to Stephen. It goes poorly. Tar's up in the stands. Just like this team sucks. Can't hear shit. No, oh God. She's just sitting there. Yeah.

Can't hear anything. Just having a ball, honestly. She's like, I think they're cheering. Then we get to the first moment where Billy and I had a hyperventilated laughing because of how preposterous it is. We get back to the university where the Dean of Scientific Research, Dr. Peabody. Yeah, yeah. Is talking about selling Jack specifically to a facility in Tennessee. ricochet shot at Tennessee

where they are doing hepatitis testing on animals in a kids movie dude they're going to give him hepatitis they fucking kids Dr. Pity's comic relief buddy is there to deliver isn't that the facility where they give animals

hepatitis dude crazy I was like what who wrote that literally what dude do anything I get that they're trying to emphasize like this will be bad for Jack But I'm like, I don't even think the audience you're speaking to knows what that means.

No. Hepatitis is just a word to them. Crazy. I lost my fucking mind. Believe that is like what he's up against for the movie. And we said there must be a gripe with Tennessee with the creators of this film. Because there is zero reason to randomly say in Tennessee. Yeah.

Because he goes, isn't that facility in Tennessee where they give animals hepatitis? Like what did Tennessee do here? But I also guess that like this monkey is, he's an indentured slave. Correct. Yeah. Slash Labrat at their place. And the studio's going, I mean, what's worse than that? Yes.

And they go, I get hepatitis? Give him hepatitis. So, no, no, no. Someone went like this, give him AIDS. Yeah. And they went, Jesus, that's crazy. Too soon. Too soon. What about hepatitis, though?

And everybody went silent. I love it. Truly remarkable. But we're going to let you sit with that, take a quick ad, break and jump back into this plot. We got to talk about BetMGM and the unbelievable action they offer if you sign up

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U.S. promotional offers not available in New York, Nevada, Ontario, or Puerto Rico. We're back. After this moment, maintenance of Darren realizes what's going on, can't have it. And this is where we start to question, like, is this guy learning disabled or not? Yeah, yeah. Because he hatches a plane to get Jack on a train and send him home to Simian or where. What is it called fucking? Yeah, you're right.

Yeah. It's something Simian. Which is very similar to Sybian. Yeah. No, it is Simian for sure. It's, I know, I want to get the actual. name of it. But anyway, it doesn't matter. He goes

on El Simeon. El Simeon. Thank you. Good job. Oh, you were missing the L. Okay. Yeah. All right. Did you hear the stops on that train, by the way? No. No. Did they go, now boarding. San Francisco, Seattle, Vancouver, Nelson. Oh, yeah. Classic Nelson, British Columbia. Of course, that train that's hitting all the major cities up the Pacific Northwest stops in Nelson.

Yeah, it finishes off of there. And do we know where El Simeon is? No. It's in between. It's got to be like north. Well, no, it's on that train. Like, I think it's the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, it's supposed to be like north of San Francisco. That terrain.

Yeah, yeah, that train was going to El Cimeon. The stop, one of the shots. He sleeps through it. Dude, they like made the, they played like Caribbean music of him on the plane going to El. Sorry, I don't want to jump. No, no, no. It's okay. It's on that train, dude.

What the fuck. And where, where is, where was he? I don't know. We don't know where this... I assume L.A. Yeah, L.A. maybe makes sense. That's the only indication I get.

Yeah. So Jack gets on that train. He's dressed like a classic traveler. It's insane. Yeah. Cut back to hockey. Steve playing for the Nuggets, Junior B, walks a guy off the face off, gets a breakaway,

and then literally has eggs thrown off of his face. and then pummeled by the players. And the refs are like, yep, this is fine. The fans are throwing eggs. They brought them. Do you know how angry you have to be to do that? Dude, I, of all the things I expected, I was too early in the movie for Steve to do something sick.

Yeah. I was like, okay, like, this was poor of you. The fans egging him. You could have given me one trillion guesses before I would have later. What happens? Why does Steve not score a goal? on this breakaway. And I would not have said, we hear

fans start screaming, egg him. Then he literally gets egged. Egg him. Wait, yeah, the eggs come to. Suddenly, you got to warn him. Egg him. Yeah, egg him. Steve Yon gets pissed. Were you guys as shocked as I that Darren didn't get on the train? I was like blown away at that moment. Oh no, he's got

to stay to like running away. And then Darren was like, Orpois. See you later. No, he's got to stay to cover his tracks. Fair. Okay. I was shocked. I was not shocked. Now that you say it, it's like, why would he not just get? Why is he going? The monkey, we'll figure it out. Jesus, dude.

Okay, continue. Steve gets pissed, literally dives over the bench and tries to get in a brawl with the whole team. They beat the shit out of him, toss him back over. Tara's bumped. Yeah. We then get some sick stock footage of a train riding through the wilderness. Steve and Tara walking out of the game, he wants to quit. The Nuggets suck.

But Tara's like, dude, don't quit. Isn't this sequence, by the way, that I want to talk about? The game is like high energy, I mean, like about as high as the energy can get in this movie. Yeah. It's like you got something going on there is substance. Yeah. And then every 30 seconds they cut to the train where nothing is happening. Zero.

Zero. No dialogue. Nope. No forward momentum over the plot. Just monkey opens, eats a banana drops on his head. Not even like a, I noticed that guy doesn't have a ticket. Like I was ready for like the, okay, here comes jail. Having ticket trouble.

And it's like, no. No, it was just. Cut this. It was just scenes. 30-second scenes to fill a film. Unbelievable. We see Jack fall asleep on the train, and he misses his stop.

Fucking idiot. And he travels all the way to Nelson, British Columbia. I was pissed at him for that. Thank God he had, he's going to what, again, like it looks like he's going to Africa based on what we've seen of El Simeon. But thank God he had full on winter clothing in his back. Packed for the deep. He wakes up and he goes, pretty cold in here.

Throws on a sweatshirt and a jacket. remarkable. Goose down jacket. He's got a can of a goose on. Jack gets off the train at the last stop, sneaks by the conductor, sees Tara and Stephen walking home from a hockey game. Boom. Pipped out for Christmas in that town. Very beautiful.

It's like October, right? It's the start of hockey season. I'm like, what are we doing? We're in Nelson BC, dude. It is snowing. I know, but the lights. It was like insane. Oh, it was beautiful. They don't have a lot to look forward to. They don't have a lot. They don't have a lot. We then see Jack stumble upon what is seemingly

a random tree house, he breaks in, it's breaking and entering. Yeah, yeah. And what does he do immediately? Picks up a broom and starts sweeping. If this ape... If this ape, if this ape doesn't have Stockholm syndrome,

I don't know what does. Yeah, that's, he's just nervous. Well, it's nighttime. I have to clean the halls. You want to fucking kill me. Literally, what do I do before I'm allowed to go to sleep? I have to clean up this air. That is fucking gold.

That's so true. He picks up, he does what he knows, dude. Does what he knows. My big, one of my first big last, no joke was it,

right when he gets off the train, he's in, again, like, it appearing to be like Nelson town, Main Street of Nelson. Christmas lights everywhere. Dude,

there's one shot of him, like, well, he pauses at the first window he sees, and there's just bananas everywhere. And I was like, is there a bananas? It's all you see. Ten main street in Nelson is just all.

They're like, bananas. A bushels. Bush. Can you take a guess from me how many bananas so they know like how many bananas do you think we're in that shot? Dude legitimately 30 30 to 40 bananas at least like the whole window is like and I was like what store is that dude? Jack's like yes if anyone was going to actually get off anywhere. I got off at the best spot possible.

That is the beginning of what I would consider to be like an overhanded delivery of banana. Yeah, agree. Correct. In that movie. We, uh, we then see. Tara and Stephen just pawn skating again shooting around

Jack steals a banana that Tara has they lean heavily into the bananas here Tarah then sees Jack screams Stephen asked what's up Tara's like I just saw a monkey and he's like no you did not

weird tactic from Jack if he was always going to say hi to rob her like I think I would have just approached her and then like hello Maybe I can have some banana instead he's like robbed her I don't think you can risk

her not giving him the banana. Fair, fair. Yeah, he's hungry. And monkeys love bananas. They love them, dude. They love them. Before I move on, I need everyone to understand. It sounds like I'm jumping around a lot.

I promise you, this is the order of the scene. This is how great. It's 30 seconds, every scene. Go back to the university. Dr. Peabody, who's British, by the way? For no reason. Just a evil British man. It's like, it's so, makes no sense.

No. Zero sense. Inraged to find out that Jack has not arrived in hepatitis tennis. Inraged. So enraged, by the way, I want to add that he is walking down, he's barreling down the hallway, literally going out of his way to push every single student that passes. Spilling his coffee, too. He's, like, overflowing his coffee.

He's reaching across the hallway, moving, like zigzagging to hit students out of his way. Yeah. So now we know that he is aware We go to Tara Who climbs up into the treehouse Finds Jack cheap Billy and I think we missed this Does she pass out or does she bump her head and fall down?

I think she passed out I think she just passed out That was our guess Screams and passes out This is another one of my big laughs This is actually right for the tree house It cuts to Tara It cuts to Tara Tara in class

And she's doodling A massive full page monkey drawing Really good too. It's really good. And then goes like a and trams. That's the entire scene to your point. I was like, what?

Why? Dude. Like, give us the parents' backstory. Why are they there? Why is this in here? Yeah. Guys, this then begins a series of scenes of the craziest treatment

of an animal we've ever seen. Yep. So Tara wakes up. They begin to sign together. Also, question for you. When Tara signs, were subtitles showing up on the screen? No.

Okay, neither for us. Neither for us. One of the craziest decisions I've ever seen in my entire life watching a movie. Oh, my God. My only thought, because Steve would often repeat it. Like, she would go and go, you're right, have faith. But I'm like, is she signing wrong? Like, is that why they're like...

Chris, we deduced on a couple of times. You're going to love... She literally looks like the fish in SpongeBob, who's just going like this. And Steve responds, a full-blown sentence. there is no way this actress was doing American Sign Language. None. Have faith. No one.

And no one in the movie was doing it. They were just freestyling. Yeah. And it's just like at this point in the movie, you're going, the two protagonists of this film cannot speak. Yeah. They have dialogue, but nothing for us to read. So like, this is a silent film.

What's going to? This is a silent film with no information. Yeah. And then like characters who hear them are like saying what they just said and then they're line. I'm like, correct. You're wasting so much time. Yeah.

Dude, so true. Like, have faith subtitle. You're right. Yeah. Continue instead of... But they had to jam more 30 second scenes in this film. So there was no choice. It was such a good call by you guys.

So they sign with each other. They then hold hands. Okay, they've bonded. Yep. Yeah, for life. Get back to a Nuggets practice. Their new boot goofing in the locker room. And Steve gets up and motherfucked the whole team.

He goes, you guys are fucking losers. Yep. He says that, by the way. Yeah, and it felt like a moment where we were maybe about to get a scene because the coach, we see the coach, Coach Marlowe, he kind of like leans in and he's like, dude, take it easy. We thought it was maybe going to be a, he needs to teach, like, listen, you're the best player, but you've got to motivate the guys. Yeah.

But instead, the goalie, whose name is Magoo. It has clear concussion problems that they have are ignoring. Every practice he gets hit right in the head with a puck and passes out. This guy is going to be mashed potatoes. Oh, yeah. By the time he hits on my college. Wait till we get to his arc. Yeah.

Magugos, he's right, guys. Yeah. Crazy. Yep. Back at home. Makes no sense for that to be. Tara has taken Jack from his penthouse studio apartment. For free.

And put him in the top shelf of her closet. A prisoner. Back in his natural habitat. They, again, they tried to. Why'd you just cuff him, dude? Seriously. Put him in a literal cage. They tried to establish this beautiful relationship.

between the two them and it starts with Tara going sleep in my fucking closet I thought there's going to be such a longer keep him in the tree house clearly no one is in the tree house he has an entire room to himself like he's got art he had art up in the tree house too

he cleaned it and they'll get out of there crazy you're going in the fucking closet I would like to point out folks that this is another thing Billy and I clocked at this moment in the film we are 40 minutes into this 90 minute movie we have not seen Jack play play hockey one time dude I wrote that too

and I wrote crazy no parents. Like maybe you noted out of it, but I'm like, like they're not around? Well, but our next scene is the parents. We now get Jack walking around the house while the dad is just classic hijinks of like the dad, it's like Ferris Bueller. The dad should be seeing what's going on. He never really sees him.

Jack goes through a whole morning routine while the dad goes through a morning routine. Unbelievable. Steve then sees this chimpanzee wearing human clothing in his home. no one on planet earth in the history of movies has given less of a fuck about anything Dude, no it was I wrote Steve took this incredibly well And I also I thought it was about to turn it to a horror movie

The way they just froze on Steve And I was like, what's going to do? And then he did nothing He like kind of went upstairs and was like Steve just looks at him and he's like Dude he goes he's like hey And he's like there's a chimp in here And they get him a pair of skates

And they go skating And we're like let's go yeah let's hit the pond with this champ. This is when Sandra came out, I guess, did you just laugh at this movie? During the Ferris Bueller, Jack getting ready,

he's making cereal, and I start dying laughing because I go, oh, good thing this family also keeps their cereal in the floor level cabinet. Like, Jack, it's under the sink, dude. Wait, was it?

I didn't even realize that. And I was like, everyone knows, put your cereal under the sink with all your cleaning supplies, chemicals. He's drinking Drano for breakfast. People always talk about do you put your cereal or milk in first?

He puts dishwasher fluid first. Then. Strano and Tidepods. Under the sake of cereal. Can I also say that like this scene along with the train thing and getting into the main street, Jack has like a cloak of invisibility on. Nobody's paying attention to anything. Anything he's doing.

Nothing. It's so true. The way they walk the line of is, does anyone care that there's a chimpanzee? Are they doing this thing where they're like, no, this is cool, or are they trying to act like no one sees him? It's crazy. Yeah. The gang then goes skating. And Chris, I don't know if you noticed this.

The most insane, what we assumed was an original song for a film ever. Good call. I didn't even think about that. Key word. There were a couple of times where they kept saying silent film. They were like doing this and that, like a silent movie. And they're like, are they referencing the movie we're watching? We need to look this up.

There's no dialogue in this movie. Yeah. It was fucking crazy. They then start playing. and I think this was probably the most realistic moment of the film. Jack is getting his skating legs under him, takes a clapper, it goes straight through the net. Yeah.

And Steve is like, oh, yeah, maybe he'll hit the next next time foreshadowing. It ripped through the net. That was realistic because we hear all about chimp strength. Yeah, good point. Maybe it makes sense that he would absolutely have a halitzer. I actually looked it up on Chat, GBT. Thank God you remembered this. You'd have to hit a puck to go through.

through a net and it was basically like this is huge theoretical probabilities but like well over 500 miles an hour yeah insane dude I have two things there one why wasn't he better at skating there wasn't he sick at rollerblading he was sick at rollerblading like he was yeah he was cleaning the fucking hole I this like this movie which moves at a bullet train pace decided that we needed to have, for us to believe it, we needed to see him really learn. I thought that was going to be cool. I thought Steve was going to be like, he's going to teach a chip out of skis. He's a wonder and then Jack's like sick and he's like, but then he couldn't skate. I was like, you can skate, dude. Remarker- And then two, uh, every time they show Steve shooting puck at that pond, he's

he misses the net. Oh, all the time. Clown. Yeah. So then that was rich of Steve to be like, maybe a little practice you can hit the net, you lose her. I was like, Steve, you suck. You never have. It's crazy. Jesus Christ, dude. So we've now seen Jack playing hockey. So it's a perfect time. Quick word from our sponsors. An ad break, we'll be right back. Dan, when's the last time you had a mug group beer? I am not kidding.

I have one every single day at work. Dude, I've been drinking so much mug group beer. My arm is turning into a mug box. That's how much you've got the dog in you. Look at this, dude. You're transforming. You look like a transformer. I'm going to become a full mug group beer box.

You know what I actually did the other day? Not kidding. The fact, first of all, that mug has zero sugar. is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Also, I, on Sunday, wanted a sweet treat. I went to the store, I got some vanilla ice cream and I made a rupee beer flow. Did you really? Yeah, yeah. You had that much of a dog in you? I'm not kidding. It was incredible. That is sick. It was so good. That is sick. Because, dude, we've been activating our inner dog a lot. I said we did all weekend. It was your birthday this weekend. It was my birthday this weekend. And as many people,

know, I've also been moving. I've been in the process of moving. So I'm telling you. And you know me, I'm a crafty guy. I'm a handy guy. So I've been refurbishing a kitchen table, a butcher's block for the kitchen. I'm doing a lot of stuff. I'm assembling furniture, putting together couches, bed frames, sanding things.

I was wiped on Saturday morning. I woke up on Saturday morning. I was up until 3 a.m. doing all this stuff. I was building nightstands. And I woke up and I was just so tired and I was like, you know what? I don't want to do anything.

But then I remembered it was my birthday and then I heard the barking. Then I remembered that I'm a dog. Yeah. And I pulled it. I reached down deep to the inner dog and I pulled the dog out of me and then I had an incredible bird.

You're not careful. You're going to have a box for an arm soon, my friend. I'm going to keep barking like that. Look what happened to me. I'm going to be a box boy. Look what happened to me. The next time you or anyone Want some cold, frothy, unapologetic flavor.

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We've seen Jack playing hockey. We now need to see Dr. P-Buddy, our angry British man. giving a press conference about Jack being missing, which is like, again, did we need this scene in the film? Nope. Then we see Mrs. Westover, Babe, by the way. Yeah. Hosting a, what sounded like a neighborhood watch move.

Again. An hour early, by the way. Again. She goes, you're early. Yeah, they show up an hour early. She's got stains on her shirt. Why did we need that? So insensitive.

Unbelievable, an hour early. Some of the creativity. craziest behavior you've ever seen. And again, it's one of those things where why is that in the plot of this? Insane. I would like to argue that at this point in the movie, however far we're in, that nothing has happened. Yeah. That's like, Billy, literally, zero things have happened. There's 97 different things occurred. Nothing has happened. Not a thing. Mrs. Westover is having a full-blown panic attack during this meeting. She's like spilling coffee on herself every time she takes a drink. Jack, meanwhile, Steve and Tar have gone off to

to Steve's game and Jack tries to sneak out of the place to go play hockey. He grabs his skates. He's hanging out of a window. One of the women at this neighborhood watch meeting sees him, screams, passes out. Now we're at the Nuggets game. We see Steve's score.

Yeah, great stuff. Jack shows up, sneaks in through a window, jumps in. We then get Steve scoring a spinorama backhand goal. Another spin around. This is where we see Magoo, the goaltender. And Steve clocks

this. This guy legitimately cannot see. Like he's actually blind. He's looking at the wrong corner. And no one has noticed this, apparently. Now we see Jack put on some hockey gear. The get dressed montage. The get dressed montage. Get dressed montage. There's

a poster in the locker room of what appears to be a directional catalog of how to wear hockey equipment. Which is in every. Every locker room. Yes, it is. Every locker room. And thank God it was in there. And keep in mind, this is a chimp who had 12 fatheads on his dorm room wall of people dressed in hockey gear. And you'd think he would know. Speaking of

thank God, the player, the best player on the team, who is the captain, who is out with an injury. This is where we learn his last name is Rib Chimpsky. Did they say that at the beginning? No. Nope. I don't think so. Wait, what do you mean at the beginning? Like, no. They introduce him the first. They introduce him the first. first tryout practice and they're like, here's our best player. He's injured. He's out.

Yeah, okay. I don't think. I don't think they do either. And I go, did they not layer in that there's a rib chipsky jersey? Incredible. It's. Guys, at 55 minutes, again, a 93 minute film. Yeah. We finally see Jack playing hockey. Wow.

He gets on the ice, hops over the boards, like only a chimpanzee could do. Get the glass. Yeah, the glass. And there is apparently confusion as to who he is. Everyone's going, I saw this new guy's tiny. He scores immediately. Fuck you. Scores immediately.

But then everyone's like, what? That's a chimp. Which, thank God, by the way. I legitimately thought they might be like, yeah, we don't know who the new guy is. I was ready for like, we don't know it's a chimp. I would have turned it off. I actually would have turned it off. Thank God.

They make a couple jabs at the nuggets. And Coach Marlow, they're so desperate for talent they're bringing in a chimp. notoriously good at hockey. And they say, goal doesn't count, ineligible player, the nuggets lose, and Jack is devastated.

Yeah. Like so bummed out. He starts sauntering down the hallway, just like bummed. Tara comes up and is like, dude, you did great. Yeah, we love it. Don't worry about it.

She then decides to bring Jack to the family, to meet the family. We then have a full-on board meeting about Jack being eligible to play hockey. and one of the board members throws the most insensitive ricochet shot at his sister Mavis I've ever heard.

Basically says she's a chimpanzee. Stray. Yeah. Crazy stray. Dead. They go, okay, you're making it. He's on the team. Do you remember what they say?

For money. All those in favor say A. Say A. Because they're in Canada. Oh, my God. Beautiful. Beautiful. Oh, dude.

Now we get our first game, and it's an absolute clinic. They're buzzing around the ice. They keep showing shots of what Billy and I assumed were some front shots of actually this chimp in hockey gear. And then back shots of him. Sorry. That is clearly a human being. Skating, right? And they're just like that.

It's the chimp. Is he like a chimp costume? I don't know. I think it's just a little hunched over person. Yeah, I think so. a he's buzzing. So is Steve. We get classic chimp antics going through people's legs, sneaking around. Hiding. Yeah. Hiding. A very classic hockey tactic. They are, they're scoring goals. And they win. Yep. Tara then brings Jack to class. I would also like to see to emphasize that

the way you just said they win. However, you felt when Dan said they, win, that's how it feels watching it. That's how big the win felt. I was like, yep, okay. I was happy for that old guy, you know, their old fan, who was like, I need one of these. Looked like blue from old school. I was like, is that blue? I had that thought.

Yeah, there was zero emotion. Like, they win and I wasn't like, hell yeah. They finally got it was just like, okay, next 30 second scene, please. What next? Yeah. And it turns out he's being brought in for show and tell. Yeah. Tara is literally bringing this chimpanzee around as a prop as she does.

The kids love them. They love Tara. She's finally banging in. This is great. Do they? Or do they just like the chamber? I think they're just laughing at you. I don't think they ever acknowledge her.

I think you're right. We then get a full, a practice scene of just Steve and goalie Magoo in full uniform. Yeah. Keep in mind, we've seen multiple scenes where they're wearing practice gear. But for some reason, they went, we need a lights off dramatic fresh sheet of ice no bucket on steve at center ice coming down to do a fake shot on magoo just to show magoo that he is actually in fact blind and cannot see a buck

remarkable what the fuck now our first montage of the film we it's christmas time we see jack climbing the christmas tree and what i assume is nelson city square putting the star on top of the tree. It felt full on Edward Cisorhands moment here. He's like ingratiating himself into the community. Yeah. They love him. Everyone like Jack. We see Magoo get some glasses. He's playing. And the whole crowd.

Yep. Everyone in the crowd. They're all wearing glasses now. Yeah. We have a family Christmas together. And we also have a moment where Jack teaches Tara and the class sign language. Oh, yeah. Again, I don't think it's actual sign language. No, it's not. The team's playing now.

We get several scenes where Jack has a C on his jersey and several scenes where he doesn't. Yep. Really confusing stuff. Now they need one win against the Tigers. Yeah, the rival Tigers. Need one win to get to the final game. The, again, just hyper speed pace of this film that all of a sudden we're like, wait, we're in the final already. Dude, and they also went like, they win a bunch and they're like, this win streak is crazy considering the nuggets are coming off a 40 game losing streak.

That's what the news says. I was like 40 so this is like multiple seasons yeah fuck is going on what were you going to say the we are at like we need this this is to get to the finals we need to win this game jack has played a half a game of hockey yeah so far and we're about to be in the finals we did it yeah remarkable it's insane uh with a second swindling jack jumps on the ice rips a clapper goes through the net the red light goes on credit to that guy by yep sharp sharp eye mm-reff says no goal. The entire arena goes silent, but it's tied, by the

way. They're acting like they lost. Tara comes down, tells Steve to tell the ref to check the net. He does. Finds the whole goal. Can I ask a question about that, ref? Yes. And I give him credit because he awarded the goal. But that is the very same ref who was such a hometown ref

at the first Tigers game that he wouldn't even call a clear penalty against the Tigers. Steve was like, sir, that's a penalty. And he's like, not in my rank. It's not. And he's like, sir, that's a goal that would end your team's season. And the rough's like this, agree. I was like, dude, don't you think this guy has set the precedent to go like this? No goal.

No goal, I don't care. And everyone on your team is to spend. What an arc he had. That's great. Yeah. I mean, again, just all credit to the writers there for just like A to C, who gives a fuck what happened at B. Guys. Fuck you for asking about B.

Yeah, truly. So the nuggets are on to the Harvest Cup. Angry British hepatitis advocate, Dr. PPD sees Jack on. the news. Oh, yeah. Fuck. And he's like, holy shit. Here we go. There's a chimp. He's winning the junior B title. Which would make the news. That would be global. 100%. Now, folks, we see a completely random scene well over an hour into this film of Rip Chimpsky, our captain, practicing alone on the ice. Someone involved with this film clearly watched D2 Mighty Ducks and saw that Adam Banks comes back into the last game and throws a whole wrench into the roster and was like,

we need this as well. And as you do, in this montage of him practicing, he drops to his knees and does a 360. Just to make sure everyone knows. Because we've set the bar of Steve being sick, you know, like, that's sick. So if he can't knee spin, then he can't be good. Then he can't play. Boom. He's not MVP.

You got a knee spin. So the boys are then on the team bus and they go to the big city of Calgary. Of all places, they chose. Calgary. Which I didn't know was like... General Motorplace. Calgary, very much a farm. Yeah. And these kids are going, we are not in Kansas anymore. They look out the window and brutally sexualized this blonde woman, like the one woman walking down the street. Yeah, that was crazy. I like that. I was like, okay. Marlow... Now we get a iconic shot of walking out the tunnel onto the ice. Marlow drops the line. I love the smell of Zamboony fumes in the morning. Yeah, fantastic stuff.

Yeah, the Hoosiers moment, right? You've got, all right, keep going. Game starts, gets off to what they are making it seem like a rough start. By the way, they're playing a junior A team, which crazy that this is the Harvest Cup. It's the fucking FAA Cup, apparently. Yeah. They get scored on and end of first period. They're only down one.

Pibody comes to the locker room to steal Jack and Marlowe tells him to get fucked. He's like, all these boys are going to beat the shit out of you. And they will. We'll watch them. We've seen them. They've seen moose? You want a piece of moose? But folks, you will not believe that if that feels like a great moment of like,

we won't let you get Jack, things go very poorly off screen in just a moment. Second period, Jack scores off a sick pass from Stephen, period. This period ends 1-1. We now hear Peabody's plan is to kidnap him at the end of the game. He goes, before he gets off the ice. Yeah, great plan, Peabody. You're going to jump onto the ice and get him. No one will see you doing it there.

Tara shows Steve the back of a picture she found in Jack's bag, which is at El Simeon. Now they're like, this is where he's from. We got to get him home. We cut to the locker room and apparently, clearly a scene was cut. Peabody has a court order to get Jack. And Marla, like everyone's saying goodbye to Jack and we're all like,

why is Jack leaving? When did that happen? It was so, so confusing. We almost rewind the movie. Yeah. Because we blamed. We truly, we were like, what is going on? It's literally second period.

Nothing has been said other than Peabody being pigeon tossed from the locker. But now apparently he's leaving, and Marlowe's just dialogue going. They have a court order. I don't know what to, I don't know what you want me to do. This is, there's two, in this same moment, there are two of my biggest what movie moments from the whole movie. And the first one is, I wrote Stosh, which I think is Stevie Weeks character. I think that's correct.

Stosh gives Jack a hat he's been knitting. That's not done. Yeah. He goes, it's not done. Yep. And I'm like, Jack gets it immediately puts the knitting needle in his mouth too. The needle. Yeah, he puts the knitting, the knitting needle.

It's two knitting needles and the full ball of yarn still attached to the top of his hat. Dude, like, what is the point of that seat? Like, just give him the hat. Like, I'd be like, Jack, I knit you a hat. Chris, I'm telling you. Why not finish? As we've, like, all of these crazy plot, the director's cut of this movie must be six hours long. Yeah, truly.

It's nothing, as Billy said, Nothing has happened. We're almost an hour and a half in this. Nothing has still happened and nothing makes sense. Nothing. So now, again, plot point no one needed. No one knows why it's happening. Pete Rip Chimski goes up to Coach Marlowe and goes,

Coach, as you know, I've been healthy enough to play for a while. And Coach, again, we go, okay, you're the captain. Why haven't you said anything? Why haven't you been playing? And what we think maybe in this moment We'll get an explanation Coach Marlao goes, you're a big man to admit that.

Dude, that's my, I go, what? I don't even remember that moment. What are you talking about? He goes, I've been okay the whole time. Coach goes, I think he goes, yeah, it takes a real man to admit that. And I'm like,

it doesn't. Like when he was skating, when Steve saw him skating, I thought for a second, and I was like, he's about to be the villain, like an hour and 10 minutes and they supposed to be like,

this is the bad guy. He hates chimps. But then he was like, what's up, dude? I'm good. And I was like, who are you? What are you doing? Dude, what if the director's cut of this movie was incredible? Yeah.

And they just hacked it. They fucked it. The studio. Airbud studio. Fucking hacked it, dude. It was better than Airbud. I won't have this. So straight out of the D2 playbook, Pete Rip Chimpsky is back in the lineup and Steve takes one for the team and he goes, I'm out.

I know what I have to do. Yeah. So we see the team start. playing. Jack's on the ice. Rip Chimpsky's on the ice. And Steve is like in a cab going, God knows fucking where. Ask the cab driver to put the game on the radio,

by the way. Games on the radio, of course. Pete takes a shot. Puck bibles up, lands on the goal line. Pete then gets clotheslined so hard. He'll clearly never play off again. He goes down and he's so injured. Jack dives through someone's legs again. pool cues the puck over the goal line as time expires,

just like every game in this movie. They win, twist, it's Tara. Yep. Yet another moment in this film where a woman is compared to a chimpanzee and no one would know the difference. Remarkable. Incredible. And do not forget that in this film,

Jack came on the ice, scored a goal, and they went, ineligible player, no goal. But now, in the Harvest Cup, it's fine. Yeah, correct. I had the same comment. Totally fun. Because that's the explanation. That's what we need.

That's what we need. It was absolutely insane. Peabody jumps onto the ice. No one says shit or does anything. As the team celebrating. He goes over to the scrum, the celebration scrum in front of the net. After Tara, by the way, has taken off her helmet.

She is like they're celebrating. It's clearly a young girl. And he's going, get me to this chimp, dude. Get me to this monkey. Get me to this ape. It's a young disabled girl. And Dr. Peabody couldn't possibly tell the difference. Yep.

So it's Tara. We then see Steve at the airport and he is giving Jack a plane ticket to send him home to El Simeon, which for all we know. It's a train right away, bro. It's a train right away, but it might be in Africa. How did Steve afford this plane ticket? How did he get the plane ticket? How did he order cranberry juice on the plane? Does that flight attendant speak American slash chimpanzee sign language?

I guess she has to. She has to. All attendants do. I will say I was a little upset with Jack in that scene. After seeing this ape do so many unbelievably impressive human-like things, his inability to drink from a glass was amazing. He just kept like fingering. Yeah.

Like, come on, dude. He's like, Jack, what the fuck we do it? Jack's on the plane. Guys, we cut back to the locker room and get two of the craziest throw. lines in the history of film. We are told that Magoo, who is legally blind,

just got signed with paperwork, I might add. Just got signed by the farm team for the Mighty Ducks. A HL contract just like that. Junior B, this guy literally had a save percentage

of 0.156 before this. Has this one good game, makes a couple good gloves, saves, boom. signed by the Ducks HL team. Makes sense to me. Me too. I'm not confused.

What's the other throwaway line? Steve then also gets an offer to join the WHL team from Vancouver just like that. Steve accepts as well. Makes sense to me. Yep. Guys, this movie is already so fucking mental. At our final scene, we see Jack roll up in a car to El Simeon. And he gets out.

and who do we see at El Simeon working at the reserve, but maintenance, Darren. Dude. And he turns and goes, Jack, what took you so long, buddy? Dude. Do you think there are people who've watched this film? And in that moment went, oh, of course. Of course.

Of course. he was going to be there all along. Dude. Take him with you. Dude, get on the train. If this was the plan, why did you ever leave him? Dude, I could not believe my eyes. I'm dead serious, dude.

Like, I literally- We died. It was a very surprising moment. Yeah, yeah. Believe my eyes. Dude, one of the most staggering ends of a movie I've ever seen in my life. I, we, that moment happened. We then see Jack, like, wrestling with two other chimps also wearing human clothes, I think.

Yeah, no, they were. And it just, the screen goes black and it just says the end. The end. And we were like, Jesus fucking Christ. The only response from Jack in that scenario, when you see that maintenance guy there is, hey, man, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. You were coming here.

And now I'm a junior B legend, like the things I've done. Do you have any idea what I'm about to? I just won the Harvest Cup, pal. By the way, dude, I couldn't believe Marlowe was down to let, in the third period, in a tie championship game, was down to let Steve and Jack, his two best players, by a country miles, leave. Like, that was the only way you guys could think to save Jack. Getting a cab.

And we were like, oh, God, we do need to save Jack, so this is all we can come up with. Utterly insane, guys. I mean, this movie was truly one of the, before we even hit play, I'm talking to Billy about what this movie is. And Billy goes, whoever made this film should be fucking shot. In the head. That was the first note I have in here before it started. Before we even started. First note in my notes, shoot the person that made this in the head.

Yes. And then Chimp is brushing his hair. And we watched this movie. And I, I kid you not. I think this is up there on the worst films I have ever watched start to finish. Dude, I need to tell you this. My, the biggest shock I've had from the moment I hit play till right now is when you said that this movie came out in 2000.

I thought this, I just assumed this was like a 1991. Yeah, like that old. And I was like, and not only did this film come out, Chris, it then led to multiple sequels. and generational wealth. Generational wealth. More than we could ever fathom. We talk about movie jail a lot, films that get people into movie jail.

Robert Vince is literally living in Buckingham Palace, I assume, because of the success and wealth that has spawned from this film. Mind-blowing that this is a 2000, this is a turn-of-the-century movie. Yeah, he's in the sewers of Hollywood right now and they're paying a top dollar for it because no one else will get in there. This man has produced and directed a film every single year since 2000 based on the back of Most Valuable Prime.

He's the steadiest working person in Hollywood. I'm telling you this man must be obscenely wealthy. He's the only star left. He's the only star left in Hollywood. We're out here talking about people like Chris Nolan and Denisville. And this guy exists. Robert Vince. Unbelievable.

Let's hand out some awards. Yeah. CP, walk us through the old. awards. Okay. I haven't even thought about this because I've just been so blown away. Okay, so as everyone knows, we hand out awards. We do the heart trophy, the MVP, the Healthy Scratch, the LVP, the Chills moment, our favorite

moment of the movie, the scent to the Minesies moment, the worst moment of the movie, and the Sank Keith Yandel funny as part of the movie. Let's start with, actually, I want to start with LVP because I actually, normally in movies that I love, there are a lot of LVPs because I'm like, oh, this person, you know, this person reacted to that poorly or whatever, or whatever. Sure. In this one, and I'm excited to share what you guys have, because I have the obvious. I was having a hard

time finding an LVP. Everyone is like, they're ridiculous, but I was like, yeah, but I was like, no one's like, normally it's like the dad sucks, the mom's the world. I was like, everyone was kind of nice, actually. Everyone's nice, but also nothing. Nothing, yes. So, in the boringest answer of any movie

I've ever done, the LVP is the dean of science for me, who like shoved children out of the way Dr. Peabody. Dr. Peabody. I was like, Dr. Hepatitis. Yes. This guy is just so pat, to make a quick buck. Like, look at his suits. By the way, there's a weird bit throughout the whole movie where he's wearing white linen suits and everything gets spilled on. Yeah, yeah.

He is clearly doing fine. How much money are you possibly getting from a hackneyed research facility in Tennessee that's giving animals hep. Not to mention the, it sounded like the alumni all pulled their donation if Jack wasn't there. Yeah.

So I'm like, just bring him at all? Yeah, like you're now losing money selling him to hepatitis. Because like, brutal guy. Honestly, to your point,

if they're like the hep bee testing area, this is like if you're, if you're gonna make it like hamburger meat or sell it like we'll buy it for the price of hamburger meat.

Yeah. Not like anything more. Yeah. So Dr. Hepatite Nightmare. Get him out of here, dude. That's my, that's my healthy scratch. That's clear. What do you go? Yours are the same? I mean like, yeah, I said school administration for creating the first hybrid slave slash lab rats. That's a fucking

fantastic. Which might be Peabody as well. But that's very good. The bigger picture of what created that scenario for. He is the head of the snake that is that university. But not enough people are talking about what a terrible university this is. Agree. We didn't that was. If it's L.A. Like, USC. Yeah. Definitely that's U.S.C. Sorry, Jules. Holy fuck. Piece of shit. I think that's the answer.

I won't lie. There were times where I would have maybe given this to Tara because I don't think she's in this for the right reason. She was clearly using Jack to get popular. Yeah. She also doesn't make, there's no progress. Zero growth. Zero growth.

Yeah, right. But I think it's got to be people. I had, yeah, I had like the captain or I had a few early candidates. Yeah. I was like, I don't trust this captain. The ref. The ref was, if he had, I thought he was. going to disallow that goal and they were going to win an overtime.

Yeah. And I was like, this ref is all time. That ref has more character growth than Tara does. Yeah. We don't know how we got it, but we know it happened. Yeah. Unbelievable. Okay.

The next one, the heart trophy. MVP. Your MVP of the movie. God, because I have a couple honorable mentions. Did you want to go first? Do you have one? I think, again, there are potentially obvious ones here. I think my answer is Mark and Susie Westover.

the parents. At every turn, they do what supportive parents should be doing. They are just, actually, besides. Besides, in the beginning, they were not coming to Steve's games. Oh, true, that was weird.

But maybe they just moved and they were tied up at work. We don't know. There's a lot of stuff that was cut that we don't know about their love. But they're great parents to Tara encouraging her. They've clearly raised two good kids,

including two great athletes. And the way they welcome, Jack. They have no issue with Jack, dude. And dude, you know what moment I really liked was when Jack made coffee. And then the kid, they all leave and the dad comes down and he picks up the goes, thanks, kids. Did you remember that? And hey, Jack is one of his kids now. So that's true. He wasn't that mad about the glasses, you know. I do think that maintenance Darren could have had a bid at MVP, but he totally botched this plan. Yeah, he created the entire problem. Yep. So parents were my short list maintenance Darren was on my short list and early was my heavy favorite yeah I thought

he had incredible odds and I ended and if you pick him I won't even be mad because I thought I still love Darren um I'm going to go with coach Marlow only because he really won me over early I was like oh yeah he's just checked out he doesn't care whatever yeah thought he would kind of help Steve be better leader he didn't but then he had a few like cool I love the spell of Zamboni in the more he had a few cool zingers here and there, got really excited for the boys, and then chirped fucking peabody. You know, before he had the court order, he was like, fucking take a walk, pal. Yeah, you know, and he fought for Jack. Maybe he wanted to win.

But like, Marlow, I was like, you know what, Marlow? Fighting for the right call. Yes, dude. Marlow can coach me any day. Yeah. Put it that way, dude. Marl can fire you up. Yeah, yeah, right.

So I'm giving an MVP to him. Fair enough. I took some liberties on MVP here. Good. And I just, it's fake sign language for me. it's not a person it's not a character it's just fake sign language that's great that's great that's so good the whole movie i'm entertained by like jack did zip did uh have faith yeah i was like what are you doing that is amazing i need someone that speaks american sign language to weigh in on this to watch

the movie and be like here's what was said right because they probably hit some thing they must hit a few there was one thing she said a whole sentence and for the people who are watching this on youtube just The mom did this. It's unbelievable. She did this and it was a whole sentence. Unbelievable. Oh my God. Okay.

The chills moment. Your favorite part of the movie. Oh. Legitimately, if I may, go first. Please. I think I have to say the moment we found out Tara was deaf. Oh, good answer. Because again, I looked at you, Billy, and I went, oh, Tara's death.

Like, it actually, it affected me. Yep. It actually emotionally gave me. a moment and I was ready to invest. They did nothing with it. But in that brief moment, the two seconds of that 30 second scene, I

was invested. Well, because obviously he, Jacks, speak sign language. Again, they actually ended up not even making him speak the same sign language, which is insane. But in that moment, I was like, oh, genius. Because if you're going to have a chimp, you need a sign. And it was honestly like the quiet place girl. Like in that movie when they were like, she's deaf, I was like, oh,

so good, of course. Like, now we have someone who can talk. And then they were like, she will never speak to Jack. He speaks a different sign language. There are no subtitles. Nothing. I was like, oh, what the fuck?

I don't understand like what the point of it was at the end of the day. But in that moment, great, chills. I think that that is the right. That's pretty much the right answer. I'm curious what yours is. Is that yours too? I think there's another one that's great. Okay.

Go ahead. The credits. I think that's amazing. I think that right there, which happens five to eight minutes in and then the credits. Yeah. The feeling of relief when that screen went black and said the end was astounding. It was astounding. Okay, here are my two.

Jacks. Two. Two chills moments. That's crazy. Jacks, I love you on the Jet Bridge. Back to Steve. Completely unearned. Completely unearned.

I'm like, are they boys? I guess they just won a shitload of games together. We saw it. They had Christmas together. They had Christmas together. I guess he got, he's getting him home. But I was like, okay. Like, I'm kind of feeling sad right now.

when he's like, I love you too. He's also an animal. Yeah. He's also complete Stockholm City. Yeah, he's sweeping the jet bridge on the way down. He's so scared, dude. He's always nervous. The flight attendants start walking up down the aisle with the trash bag.

He jumps up, takes it from them. Please, allow me. Also, Jack's, like, last thing he does. Do you remember? No. Oh, my God, Philly. Actually, I'm saving that because that is my song. Okay.

That was fucking, and that was actually the hardest we laughed. Okay. So then my other. one. This is my actual answer. And we just talked about it, but I'm telling you the, the true shock I felt when Darren was at the reserve. Like, I'm not kidding you, dude. I literally, like, it was my chills moment because I think I actually got chills because I was like, I mean, I was, I was overcome with like, confusion. Oh, we was one of them, but I was overcome with emotion. Yeah. I was like, we reacted. We reacted. It does really make you feel something in that moment.

That's so fair. 100% that was my chills. Not for good reason. Oh my God. No, no. Stunned. It was absolutely stunning. Shock of the movie.

Okay, so now let's do we did, okay, no, no, now we're doing sent to the Minesies. You're the worst part of the movie. It can be like a thing. Like it could have been like sign language as a joke. Like anything that it was just terrible. I like got so upset that they like just goalie being blind. The glasses thing, like the team that has a bad goalie and the glass, fuck you. And you're, he's blind.

It made me so mad that they did that. I had to see that again. Yeah. Come on. Yeah, it's so lazy. When you pointed that out, it was they, this movie just ripped so many things from other children's sports movies. Yeah.

Like, truly, the Adam Banks coming back into the lineup. Best Player League. Charlie leaves. Not a single original thought. No, not one. Not one. Not one. Okay.

So I have a couple of medals matches, but I'll do them after. you go, here's my number one, clear as day. This is the worst part of the movie for me. Because I had my eye on this guy, all movie. I just thought he might be like a bigger role. I thought I was going to get more out of him. And the guy I'm talking about is named

Willie Drucker. He is the play-by-play guy. Oh, the Nuggets. I thought he'd be like a little bit funnier. He's a guy, too. He's in, um, he's in fucking um, um, let me find him because he's, he's an actor. Like, he's in stuff. He's done other. real? And they were, I think that's what the implication here. Dan will find out. And they were trying.

Like the, the, um, Oregon guy gets hit by puck. Like, you know, they were trying to make Willie and the organ guy a thing. I was expecting more from them. But I was like, Willie Drucker knows his stuff. You know, he's good at his job. And dude, when Jack has been signed by the Golden Nuggets and there's like a board meeting. And then they're like, Jack's on the team. And he gets his own jersey made and all this shit. And then they come out for warmups in that first game and Willie Drucker spits his coffee out that he's at jack's on the team and i'm like you don't know you haven't heard that they signed that there was a league-wide meeting jack has been signed on your team a jersey's been made and the play my play announcer goes you know nothing it's like willie drucker doesn't

know jack's on the team dude you are a fucking clown dude they're shutting him out of the league if that's true. Oh, dude, I could not believe the lack of preparation in Willie Drucker's game for the record. He didn't know that. That is Dave Thomas. The creator and star of the Dave Thomas comedy show, also in Arrested Development, he's Trevor, who is Mr. F, dude. I've never seen Arrested Development.

I know, but I just know the show. That's insane that he went from there. Wow, that is fucking hilarious. The worst part of the film for me, as I have, alluded to many, many times is the editing of this film. Yeah, good, good answer. I cannot stress enough, as I've done many times already in this review. This movie gave me epilepsy.

I've never seen anything like the way they were just jumping from scene to scene. I would bet if we went back and watched it, which you would have to, you would have to put me through the mental torture that Jack has clearly been through to become an indentured, servant at this university to watch this film again. But I bet if we did it and timed it, there would not be a single scene over 45 seconds. I would bet I was crazy. I would take my life for sure. I would stake my life on it. It was absolutely crazy. And again, not cuts in the same, literally one scene is never more than 45 seconds. It's the craziest thing I mentioned. It was so weren't done. No. It was so clear we weren't done. No. You know, they'd be like leave and I was like, well, let me go back. And I was like, or stay. It was nothing. Nothing.

happened because of that? It was mental. Like you could not establish any sort of care or emotional stakes into anyone or anything because it was just, it was you called it. It's the original TikTok movie. Yeah. It was fucking

craziness. My honorable mentions were you said one earlier, but Jack switching from lefty to righty several times. Several times. That's like, come on. That one right over my head. And then Pee, you couldn't be bothered to care to notice that.

No. Dude, it was like when he did the Michigan, he was all of a sudden, righty. And then Pete, the captain, being healthy the whole time. I was just like, well, it takes a man to admit that. Yeah. Let's not forget it takes a man to admit that.

Very true. Maybe they were too afraid of the Adam Banks cop, but I'm like, make him hurt or whatever. Just it literally was not logical. Like, fine. You want to bring him back. Say he was traveling. Say he was injured.

Him just being like, I'm fine. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. I did it. Fucking. Fucking nuts. Okay. And then our sock moment, the funniest moment of the movie.

For me, the two that I thought were funny that I already mentioned you guys was the serial under the same. That's good. Yeah, I need to go. Oh, I want you to go last because there's... I'm worried that maybe we have the same. You definitely don't have it. Okay, all right, fine. And then all those in favor say, A, I thought was funny.

That was good. So, Sandra's TV is on subtitles. She likes to watch with subtitles Okay Right That I'll First of all

That is your TV Well it's her team But I love because like You are not owning that You're like fucking I don't do that Yeah that's not your thing There are two TVs in the living Yeah

And I watch the thing So Two separate couches Two TVs And a fucking curtain between There's a massive piece Of duct tape Across the living room

So There are subtitles on Which was made Even funnier When Atara was signing Because it would be like Nothing No

They could be like Something but nothing would actually come up and I was like, what do you mean? But, so, but you know how when you're,

because I'm sure you guys have watched a movie with subtitles on before, you'll, there are lines of dialogue that you're like, oh, I've never heard that. Yeah.

It's just like in the background. It actually trips me out. You watch a movie that you've seen multiple times. Yeah, you'll, it's mostly background. It's like a scene with a lot of people. Someone will be off in the side

saying something and their subtitles pop up and you're like, oh shit, I've never noticed that line. Sometimes it's very important. Yes, dude. It's bizarre. It's wild that they would make it so hard to see. It was one of these moments in this movie where I was like, wow, that was fucking

hilarious that I guarantee you guys didn't hear because it was like I couldn't hear. I just read it. So early in the movie, when Steve first gets to practice, Magoo gets knocked out. Magoo gets his first of five concussions in this movie. And someone goes, Marlow goes, get the smell in salt. And like the trainer, who we only see once is like, we're out of salts. And then dumps water on Magoo's head. And then later in the practice, Steve gets knocked out because they're pissed at him or something and cuts to Marlowe again.

He goes, out of salts. Because it's just they're out of smelly salts, you know? Yeah. So then, dude, cut to like an hour later, we're in the middle of the movie at the fucking parent neighborhood watch thing. Jack swings out from the window. Oh, no way. And the chick has a fucking heart attack. Screams.

And they go, I think you hear someone go, she's had a heart attack. And then in the subtitles in the background, one of the women goes, get the smell and salts. and dude that ain't that ain't BC baby and people in Nelson Canada reviving heart attack victims with smelling salts

I was like that is such a good joke and they've layered in the salts you know it's like that's the best joke in the movie and it's in a subtitled background thing that you couldn't even hear I remember yeah like hearing the salts involved in the first scenario I'm so weird that this is like a part of their world

get the spelling salts dude get the salts baby I loved it dude okay what's yours hepatitis. Yeah. It was remarkable. Hepatitis.

And then I had two like extension thoughts based on something I saw. First, when I saw him behind the glass in the classroom, I was like, God, this should just become the scene from Nope. Of like the monkey beating the shit and killing everybody. This should just become the scene of note and that made me laugh.

And then I had another like projection forward into the future when she brought the monkey to school. And I was like, the kids were like watching them and he was teaching people and they're all clapping. They love them. And then like she loses control Tara and the monkey gets indoctrating in the cool kids group and then start shutting her out. And then the monkey and the kids start bullying Tara more.

Doing the monkey. Because he went real dark. Conquering the school. Prom king knocks up the prom queen. Loses his hockey scholarship and has to stay in BC in this town and raise the kid. Dude, he doesn't invite Tara to his birthday. You know? Yeah.

She's like, you're at my house. It's like, yeah, go to get a hotel. Somewhere else, you can't be here. Fuck, dude, I need that. I wish that should have been MVP too. Yeah. That could have been the whole mood. I didn't need him to start skateboarding, dude.

No. I needed that. My song moment. Okay, what do you got, dude? I can't wait to hear this. I legitimately felt drunk. We were laughing so hard. In the end of this film, the big farewell,

Jack is walking down the jet bridge to get onto the plane. saying goodbye after the I love you. Yeah, yeah. The sign I love you to Steve. Jack's big look back moment literally goes like this. I'm getting up to do this. We are, we see from Steve's POV

this like meant to be emotional moment. Jack goes like this. Adobe Acrobat Studio, your new foundation. Use PDF spaces to generate a presentation. Grab your docs, your permits, your moves. AI levels of your Which gets it in a groove. Choose a template with your timeless cool.

Flex those two. Drive design, deliver, make it sing. AI builds the deck so you can build that thing. Do that, do that, do that with acrobat. Learn more at adobe.com slash do that with acrobat. He literally got a shot of Jack bending over at the waist and with that big dopey chimpanzee smile waving between his legs over his asshole back to Steve.

And I looked at Billy in Taptime and I go, that's the good pie. That's it. That's never seen again. That is it. That's literally our farewell with Jack. You got to cut to Jack off camera, like cross-legged in a chair at a brush accent. You know, when I read the script, I thought, this is a good part, but it's more of a

see you later in what would Jack do in that scenario. My fucking head hurts. I could not believe my eyes. Like, after what we went through watching him. that film that moment happened. I couldn't, could not fathom. Outrageous. So out of control.

Outrageous that they just didn't see. Like, that was it. That's it with him and the Westovers. You know what? Incredible with Darren now. No heart. No heart to it. No heart.

You say I love you. Yeah. There's no reason to believe that he does. Damn right. Remarkable stuff, guys. This, as we close out here, we have to say, we do the IMDB scale, one to ten with decimals.

What is your rating of this film? MVP, most valuable primate. Dude, point three. Yeah. No, fucking point three. Dude, it's crazy because I wanted to be like, well, these parts are cool and whatever. And I was trying to be like, what if you were little?

Like, what would it feel like? But I just think it's most movies. Well, I don't think we were recording yet, but Dunstan checks in is the other one I showed you. Yeah. Which I bet is Jack. It's probably the same. Yeah.

You know what? I'll click on its credits right now. I think his name... He's got credits? Oh, he sure does. His name's Louis. Cool. So, Louie. Yeah.

Okay. Liars. He's known for... Nope. He's known for MVP, MVP 2, and Spymate. Damn, you could come of MVP 3? Yeah. That's brutal.

Dude, how do they do that, by the way? Like, he was doing stuff. I think he's like talented Is that actually a chimp? Yeah, I think he's a trained like extremely well trained.

There was a scene where he's learning and a skate and they had him like falling down on ice and I'm like this is actually kind of fucked up. It was fucked up.

There's a lot of moments where I mean when he jumps into the laundry bin into the locker I was like that hurt him? Yeah, they're like we didn't care about animals back then.

So anyway, but in those little kid movies that I did like I swear to God and maybe it's because I was young and dumb but I swear to God they at least track.

You know, I'm kind of like oh yeah. Like I know. You said it with Airbud. Airbud at least has a story. Yeah. So for that reason, I just, I cannot.

So I'll give it a 2.0. Okay. A flat 2. I think I was going, I can't believe I'm giving this the highest. I think I was going to reasonably, I see where you, where your heads at. But I think, no, because I think a point three is legitimately a torture point. Because it's an actual film that I'm ranked. A point three is something that I'm like, this is,

what was this? But like, continue. You should finish it and then I'll. I think I was minus 2.3. Okay. I mean, it's a movie. I know, that's how I was trying to get to. But like, I think it's, that's all fair.

I think in the twos is fair as well. But if I'm really thinking about like how this was structured, if it makes any sense, the attempt to build tension, like, everything that happens in the movie, it's like, nothing has happened, nothing will happen. And these things that do happen don't make me feel anything. Except for the, there were two moments. There was the, she is deaf that they made no effort to pay off. And then there is the twist at the end that he's there where I'm like, well, that is stupid.

So both of them were for nothing. That is dumb. So I just think like as far as structuring a movie, it is as pretty much as bad of a job as you can do. There's fine children's movie acting in it. So that gave it the point. Yeah. Dude, there was so much like, I mean, you bring it up with the editing, but there kept being like, a ton of my notes that I just skipped over. I was like, how is it night already? Or is it, it's Christmas? Or like, that girl's birthday must have happened by now. Like, how has this not been resolved?

Right. Where she's like, oh, sorry, you're deaf. There's an invite for you on the ground, you know? Yeah. There was just nothing like, everything I was just happening. And I was like, what day is it? Like, how are we moving through time? Yeah, yeah, exactly. It, there's really a lack of, and, anything in this movie. It's just so bad. I might never recover from Darren being at that reserve dude. Like that is actually one of the most bat-shit insane things that has ever happened to be watching a movie. It's so stupid. Dude, I lost my mind. Yeah. Because the way they shoot it with the music, I got so sick of that stupid song. They play over and over and over and all the time. It was insane.

It was every single scene. Just like, look at this cute little moment with a little monkey. But like, you showed Darren at the end and they swell the music or, Maybe it was the same track. I don't even care. No. But they show him like, oh, look who's here! And it's just like, excuse me? And I'm like, wasn't the whole point that Jack's going to his family? Like, Nancy, his mom is there.

Yeah. Yeah. He's like, I'm here too. What are you doing? It's crazy. Clinger. Clinger. Freak. Needless to say, one of the worst movies we have all ever seen,

certainly the worst movie this show has ever reviewed. Yeah. I pray to God, whatever we do next, is much better than this. And Billy, I'm so sorry. that this is the one we ended up having to pick. I'm so glad that I got to experience this because rarely do you in your free time sit through some things? I would have never clicked on that.

Nope. Yeah, we would have never seen this otherwise. Yeah, now I have. And I'm glad we have. Me too. Me too. Well, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having.

On the show for going through that horrendous journey. But it was lovely to have you. Yeah, tell everyone. And yeah, where can people find you? Where are you hanging out on the socials these days? I'm hanging out at Almost Friday TV and at the Entrepreneur channel it's spelled wrong and you're going to have to figure out how it spelled. Do you, do you, did you say that because you don't know how it spelled? No, I do know how it spelled.

Say right now. Hold on. It's actually the only way I know how to spell entrepreneur because I've read this word so many times. E-N-T-R-A-P-R-A-N-U-R-E. They really went for a crazy. Yeah, he did it, dude. God damn it. Good job.

Good job. You got it the first time. I was trying to do the right word. Oh, yeah. can't, which is like a lot harder. Yeah, it is. Phenetically, we've got the right one. Go find Billy on all those channels.

You've seen his work before. He's a beauty. He's phenomenal. He's hilarious and he's one of our dear friends. We can't thank you enough for coming on. And listen, if you went through the pain and anguish of watching that film to enjoy this episode with us, we love you so much. We do. We will see you next week for some more of our classic antics.

We can't wait to do it. And until we see you then. Billy, can you give everyone to skate hard? Skate hard. Thank you.