Empty Netters Podcast - Luke Evangelista Is About To Dominate In New Jersey

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

The Predators trade Luke Evangelista to the Devils and we’re not sure why they did that?? Marchy is back on twitter and the chirps haven’t missed a beat. What’s The Connection is the hardest clue yet. Houston is getting an NHL team and how are we just finding out that they should name all their teams after space terms. And it’s pumpkin spice season for the Blind Ranking. Chapters: 0:00 - Intro 2:58 - Luke Evangelista Trade 21:36 - Marchand Chirps Stutzle Online 26:52 - What's the Connection? 46:33 - The New NHL Team in Houston 1:08:29 - Fraud Watch / Top Hits 1:36:41 - Blind Ranking Pumpkin Spice Items PRESENTED by BetMGM. Download the BETMGM app and use code “NETTERS” and enjoy up to $1500 in bonus bets if you lose your first wager! Thanks to our Sponsors! BetMGM: Use bonus code NETTERS when signing up to receive up to $1500 in bonus bets if your first bet loses. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER (Available in the US) 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY) 1-800-327-5050 (MA), 1-800-NEXT-STEP (AZ), 1-800-BETS-OFF (IA), 1-800-981-0023 (PR) 21+ only. Please Gamble Responsibly. See BetMGM.com for Terms. First Bet Offer for new customers only. Subject to eligibility requirements. Bonus bets are non-withdrawable. In partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel. This promotional offer is not available in New York, Nevada, Ontario, or Puerto Rico. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Empty Netters podcast. Can you believe what this has become? There was a full 48 hours where I felt like I was like literally Superman. Jumbo loves playing Fortnite, so he gets on the sticks. Did TR show you the sauna cycle or was that all year? Not I invented that. Almost a year now that I haven't taken a body check. That's kind of nice.

So we are back. We are horned up and we are going deep. Finish tonight with some chicken fingers and a few guineasas and ran into you guys. That's where this pod came to life. Ice is ready and we're back with another episode of the empty netters podcast brought to you by BetMGM. I'm your host. Dan Powers back in studio feeling fresh as lettuce. C.P.

Over there looking like a good guy. Dude, it's not like you go. And you're standing over there. And you're standing over there. I don't know which way is up. As always, I'm here. Hand still broken. Hand still broken, but looking good in Boisey, dude.

People are fired up. about it. People on Twitter are like CPs in Boise. Yeah, Idaho. No one's ever been to Idaho. That's why people get fired up. Like you hear, people hear that and they go, whoa, I've never been there. Now they go, Iowa? Yeah, dude, yes. People here I've been talking to have been saying that all weekend. They're like everyone thinks we're Iowa. Really? That's cool. Yeah, it's crazy. That's great. Dude, that's kind of a good fact for Iowa because I feel like Iowa probably feels like a looked over state too. They're flyover state. They're also looked over. But the fact that they're getting Idaho, you know, trickle down.

That's pretty cool. I thought you were saying no one's ever heard of Idaho in a negative way. And I was like, brother, you are an Idaho resident. So you got to chill. You got a chill. And hey, Dan, we're trying to keep it that way. Yep. I get it.

And then we got EvBot. We got the doctor. Hi. Over here. Chris, every time I see your cast, it feels like it's getting bigger and bigger. I agree. Like, are you, are you? It's like that scene from the new naked gun where the coffee mug just.

Keep, have you seen that? Yeah, it's hilarious. I was like, you would love that. I loved it. It was so good. I was high as a kite watching that movie. Yeah. And not something I normally do.

And someone convinced me that I was, they were like, dude, have an edible, watch naked gun. Right. What advice that was, dude. It was so fucking funny. I was dying. Every time that coffee mug got bigger. That was comedy gold. Old school comedy gold.

Folks, we've got even more on HL News. It's unbelievable. It does feel like we're back. We entered September and it's just like things are back. Things are back in action. So we're ready to rock here. We're ready to talk here. And I feel as though last episode we sprinkled some devil's magic.

I know, dude. We made some devil's magic, which is very, very intriguing. And I'll say this too. We're going to start right off the bat with this devil's talk, Luke Evangelista, friend of the program, friend of the pod, guy we've talked to a lot about getting on the show, and I've just been talking to him recently about this. Yeah. And things went a little quiet and now bang, here we go, dude. We got a new New Jersey devil and I'll tell you what. I love this move. So I love it in a vacuum in terms of

of what they sent and what they're getting. I love it. I love the player. And I immediately, when I saw it, went to, I think it's daily face-up has the lines always, you know. And I was like, want to see where they slot him in. And he's like, he's slotted in on the first line with Nico. And I, and that's exciting. And Timo, I think.

Uh-huh. But the only negative, Dan, is all the magic you got me. high and drunk on last episode. Because I now am only thinking about these other moves the devils have to make. And I'm concerned that this move took some of the pieces that might have been needed for other moves now making those other moves impossible. That's my only fear. It is slightly scary. So Luke Evangelis to traded to the New Jersey Devils by the National Predators, Preds received a conditional first round pick and a second round selection in the 2028 NHL draft.

So, like for Luke, great. I'm like, awesome trade devils. Great. I think it's fine. I think it's fine. Don't you need that for Hellie? Like they needed to send that pick to get Helibok. It's a conditional first.

I'm acting like that makes it not for it's a first round pick. But the devil's received the conditional first round pick from the flames and the deal for Nemich. So like they still have their picks. Yeah. They're fine. You just- Although that flame

That flames first round pick is juicy Yeah So like you probably No offense Calgary You probably You probably wanted that pick But

But Loekey boy Career high 56 points In 81 games For the prize Last season He's only 24 years old $3 million AAV cap hit this year

I just I absolutely love it And I also think This is a Big time move for the Devils In terms of like I think Nemit Or I think Luke is going to be

like high in this lineup. Like we're talking top six, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is very exciting. Like, I picture him probably playing on that first line with Heeshire. And I don't know how you're not fired up about this. And like the devils, man, got a lot of juice as far as depths in their forward lineup. Dude, people forget about the Connor Brown pickup a couple of years ago.

Unbelievable player. Great fit. They've got Evan Rodriguez now in their bottom six. Like that's phenomenal for them. Who can play anywhere? Absolutely. He can play first line. He's a Swiss Army knife.

He's a perfect guy for that roster. We've got Manto who's going to fix the injury bug. Like this is exciting stuff for the devils, dude. And coming off the heels of us being like, if I'm looking at the wild versus the devils, I think the wild have a better shot. I still think that's the case, but I love this type of pickup. for the depths. Like this is, this is great stuff. Same. Unfortunately, the devils have entered, they, they have 180 swung from a team that nobody believed in that I believed in and needed to,

to now a team that I refused to believe in until they prove it to me. So yes, I'm happy with all the moves, but I'm just going to need to see them put it together. And as you said, they don't have a goalie, and they need one badly, and they need Connor Hellebuck. And they needed to trade this, these picks to Winnipeg for Connor Hellebuck. And I am upset about that. Yeah. It's... They can't get him now.

Will you relax? It's over. It's all over. It's all over. I don't know that that's true. I don't know that that's true. The one thing that I will point out is the devil's currently have 1.8 mill in cap space. That's not a ton.

Hellebuck's cap hit isn't insane. No, it's an incredible bargain. It's an incredible bargain. but that is, that's money that you got to clear out. And like we've looked at with their roster, there's like no one that this team wants to lose with the exception of Dougie Hamilton. And when I say wants to lose,

I mean, Ken's stomach losing. People forget there was that very close deal with Dougie Hamilton and the sharks last year, which I still look back on and I'm like, I cannot believe that I think it was Dougie that was like, nah, I'm out on that. And I'm like, why in the world would you be out on that? but everyone on this roster when you look at it feels incredibly important as far as roster players.

So it's going to be very interesting. But I'll tell you what, I am a huge evangelista guy. I think he was just a weapon in London. He's been good for the Preds. Obviously, he had a great year last year. It's very, I think this is a, you know, people freak out about picks all the time. I am here to tell Devils fans, like, this is a phenomenal move. A phenomenal move, I think he's a perfect fit for the type of makeup that the offense has on this devil's team.

I think he's going to thrive with centers like Jack Hughes and Nico Heeshire, whoever he plays with. I think he's going to fit in great with the group. He has a good relationship with Glass. Like, this is really, really exciting. And I'm thrilled for a good dude. Oh, me too. Like I said, love the player. I want him to be a 20-tuck guy.

Do you know what he had last year? I believe he had 12 goals. And yeah, absolutely. He needs to be a 20 plus guy. You know, like, I need him to be a 20-top guy. I know he can be. I just, I do need that. And, dude, I'm just so confused by Nashville the last few years.

I know I've been the biggest, like, what I believe in them. I'm always wrong. But I just don't know what is happening in Nashville. Christopher, I am so, I wasn't sure if you were prepared. Wasn't sure if you were prepared for the episode to take this veer into. Yeah. With you, dude, with you, it always does. We're taking a veer into Flavor Town.

Yeah. Guy Fietti is sitting shotgun. We've got donkey sauce in the back and we're about to fuck it. Is that a real sauce? Yeah, dude, it's Guy Fietti's famous sauce. It is, it is a real sauce. I can confirm. Donkey sauce is real. Is it made with real donkeys? Dude, I don't. I cannot confirm nor deny if donkey is used in the- I'm going to look it up. happens like I'm on it. Let me get on it. Can we be honest? People want to make fun. People want to make fun of Guy Fietti. Guy Fietti is a multi-millionaire. He's rich in. With multiple restaurants around the country who has had multiple hit television shows on the food network, he's an absolute blast of a human being, he's entertaining as hell. And if you are going to sit there and tell me that a really rich, flavorful sauce that you can put on a burger, being called donkey sauce, isn't an awesome name. Then you're lying. You're lying to me. Manez, roasted garlic, Yellow or Dijon mustard

Worcestershire sauce Salt and Black Pepper Do you do me a favor And go ahead and say Worcestershire sauce one more time Worcestershire Worcestershire Worcestershire

Worcestershire Shires Wischestershire sauce Dude it is the most bullshit word in English It's an insane But how do they say In England is how

I think it's Worcestershire But that's the town right Wistashir That's welcome to Wusta Dala 25 pal What a sketched What a sketched What a sketched

dude, Toll Booth Willie. We are off the rights. It's great. Who are we talking about? Adam Sandler had a, it was an audio-owned. No, no, I know what that is.

You know what? I'm saying, who are we talking about before we got D. Guy Fietti. I got, I said, before that, oh, oh, before that we're talking about

we're going to, we're taking a veer into Flavortown to talk about the Nashville Predators. Oh, right. I am, I am, I am kindly requesting that the Nashville Predators hear my plea again to wrap your fingers around the handlebar and press down on the TNT Acme box and blow it up. Send Stammer back to Tampa or to Boston.

Oh, no, I've got a better one for you. Where? Montreal. Oh, that would be gas. I think Stammer in Montreal makes so much sense. Being coached by his former teammate. Oh, whoa, that would be a fucking sick, dude. Oh, my God.

Look at that roster. Great call. Take a look at that roster, as we always say with Stammer. It is so, you know, regardless of his age, it is so rare that you have a player of that caliber who can really effectively play both center and wing. Yeah. And I just look, if you look at their proposed lineups, you've got the first line of Nick Suzuki with Cole Cofield and Yeraislavkovsky on the wings and the second line of Jake Evans

with Alex Newhook and Ivan Demidoff on the wings. And I'm like, you're telling me that Stephen Stamcoast doesn't fit perfectly in that second line somewhere. Great. Like, they get the money too. Yeah, they sure do. They've got, I believe, let me look. I believe it's, his contract is sturdy, but it, yeah, uh, Montreal has 9.78 mil in caps. Yeah. And what does he cost? Less seven, right? He is no, isn't he eight? I can't remember, honestly. I can get it right now.

I just know he took the, like, eight faster. Eight flat. Yeah, you're right. Eight flat. Yeah. How many four years? Two million seconds.

Two years left. The autism in my brain for NHL cap numbers is really special. Get him to Montreal. Dude, you, you, I don't, and I say this with all love in my heart. I would hope every Nashville Predators fan, especially the ones that we've dealt with, knows how much I love that team. Shout out Carlson, my boy. But like, I love this team. I adore this city. We always talk about how Bridgetown is one of, if not the best arenas in the U.S. This team rocks. And I think they are in a position where they can retool. Like,

it's the bringing in Mars or so and Stammer, like it was an awesome move. I'm even going to throw, I'm even going to throw Brady Shea in there. Like that was, those were awesome moves. And we were like, we picked them

to fucking win the division along with tons of other people in the NHL world and we all had egg on our face by the end of it. And we put donkey sauce on that egg and then we ate it for breakfast. And then somebody slapped you in the head with a catfish. Yes.

And I, I'm like, dude, it was a great shot. but it didn't work. And now I'm kind of like, I look at this team, and they've got 9.6 mil in Capspace. They've got your legend career, I mean, not, you know, but like he has become what feels like a career predator in Flip Forsberg.

Yep. You've got a true legend and career predator in Roman Yossi. But like, Yose is 36, Flip is 32. you've got Stammer at 36 and Mars or so at 35. Like it's, I think it's time. I think it's time to retool. Do what Boston did and try to do a, we're not blowing up the team and doing a full rebuilds from the ground up, but do a retool.

You already have this amazing cap space. And like the beginning of the season, certainly if it gets to the trade deadline and they're out of playoffs, you have to consider massive moves. But I just think there's a world where they can. kind of figure out a retool situation here. And for me, man, trading Luke Evangelista after a career year, I'm like, you're trading the wrong guy. What's going on here? So I'm like, if you're bouncing your 24 year old, great young forward, then what are we doing here? Unless this is an all-time blow up, Dan, which I actually think they might need to do,

unfortunately. Like, I'm not quite sure, even though I'm usually the resident in Nashville believer. I'm not quite sure they can retool on the fly unfortunately so it now becomes like trade everybody you know like

trade flip because like hey got to go we got nothing for you here because like trading all the old guys trying to retool around flip I'm not sure as possible but yeah

this move doesn't make sense to me unless you are our full atom bomb it's it's really interesting I'm not I'm just not entirely sure what what the plan is with this team. Yeah. And I will, I shall not, I shall not be picking them to win the division this year.

Yeah. I promised you that. Division previews incoming Nashville in trouble. As far as key players, they've got to be the oldest team in the NHL. We can find that out. No, but I don't know if we can. Oh, I see what you mean. I see what you're like when you, when I look at their forwards.

Oldest top six, yeah. Their key, their key players are flip 32, stammer 36, Marci, 35, factor 35. I mean, well, I don't think anyone could argue that those are their top four. Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, Evangelista is gone now. Maverick Bork is obviously very exciting as, as is Drury, our boy, Ross Colton. I think Matthew Wood is a great player. But like, truly, I don't think you can argue that their most valuable forwards are those four guys. Yep. And then on D, Yos is 36, Shea is 32.

Like they're, and Soros is 31. Yeah. Oh, is he only 31. That's not that bad. I thought he was older than that. They're pretty old. They're old. Simmons is old. They're almost as old as the penguins. Yeah, right. that that is probably the other contender. I'm curious, Ev, look up just, not just key players. Like, look up average age of every NHL team. I'm curious how high. Yeah, I would love to see that too.

But this news is eventually to going to the Devils, and I think it's really exciting for the Devils. I love the move, well done by Sunny. I think the subplot here, the B story, is I'm fascinated by Nashville now. I'm fascinated by what they're going to do. who they're going to try to pick up or who is going to fill that top six slot or if this is the if this is move one of a lot of moves what hick was he Dan Luke I believe was in like mid 20s think that sounds right but let me check that I might be no I think he was second round oh okay yes 42nd overall okay wow funny I thought he was 24 I think I just flipped it um the this this

This is a, I mean, I guess most moves are like this for GMs, but man, this one you could, this one you're going to have some direct feedback on because if you swing Evangelista, and I don't think this is going to happen, but if you swing Evangelista and he peters out and this past season remains his career high, he's like a 40 point guy with 12, with 10 goals on average. And then that flames pick turns into wicked high in a stud. This is, it becomes an incredible trade by now. Yes, true. But if the evangelista becomes a 20 tuck guy, 60, 70 points, and that pick is also mean, is a mid first round pick that you turn into nothing. I'm like, why in fuck did you do that? So there'll be some, someone could lose this trade badly, is what I'm saying. According to Draft King Sports, I've got the ages if you want to discuss that. Yeah. Yeah. They're on the document. I just stuck him in there. Weirdly, Nashville is in the kind of. up in the upper middle here. They're in 28.6. Okay, not bad. Age. And Dan, the oldest, that's 31. Kings are the oldest. Yeah, that makes sense. So funny. And then the abs, Dan.

Kings Panthers' abs. Black, Clarks and Canadians are youngest. Yeah. Burnsey definitely yanks that number up. Definitely yanks that number of. Hey, Penguins not doing too bad, Ev. 29.4. Yeah. Not the worst. Younger than the devil somehow or? I, dude, I think, I'm obviously a huge believer in Luke.

I'm so excited. I don't mean to. There's no jinxes out here. But I'm so excited for a healthy Devils team. I feel like they have, I feel like they've been bit with the unlucky injury bug the last couple of years. But if we can get a healthy Jack and a healthy Nico, I look at guys like Luke who just had a career year. playing with a combination or one of those two for a full season and having an amazing year. And then also I look at a guy like Dawson Mercer who he like blew up in his first year with

42 points, second year, 27 goals, 56 points. And then had two kind of down years. But then last year, 20 tucks again, 42 points on the year. Also very quietly, Dawson Mercer, Iron Man, 82 games every season. Dude, it's so awesome. Every season. And I'm like, if he finds a little bit of flow with one of those two centers and then Luke can find some flow with one of those two centers, I'm like both of those two could have career years. The devil should be good.

The devil should be good. The devil should be very, very good. So, I mean, listen, devils, I love the move. I love the trade. Nashville, what do you have for us? What do we do? Yeah, yeah, agree. So we'll see.

Speaking of old guys in the league. Brad Marrashand is back up to his old tricks. And we've got some just vintage shithousery that we love to see. And it came in the form of a Instagram comment from Marshie. The Ottawa Senators. We got a post on Puck Empire. The Ottawa Senators are reportedly closing on a decision on who is going to replace Brady Kachuk and their big three of Thomas Shabbat, Tim Stutzel, and Jake Sanderson are believed to be the finalist.

Who should get the sea? And Brad Marshand commented and said, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Dan, raise... That is so mean. Raise your hand if you have also been personally victimized by Regina George. I just want to say, dude. that as someone who has been terrorized personally by a Brad Marshaan comment, sometimes he's,

she's bored, okay? This is what I know to be true. Sometimes he's bored and he's on his phone and he's in his bag. And you just can't take it personally, Dan, because he needs to stir the pot for his own enjoyment in that moment in time. And if he sees you later in Nashville,

he will go, sorry about that. And you will go, it's okay. And then you will dab and hug and laugh. And all will be well. And I wish everything could be rainbows and sun signs. We could all bake a cake and eat it. And then he'll lick you. Yeah, then he licks you.

And that is a, that's an act of endearment. It's like a dog. Yeah. So you just learned to accept that too. Dude, you got humiliated online by one Bradley Marchand. Yeah. And here's the thing. Dude, I think it made you better.

It did. It made me tougher. And it brought us closer together. And I believe that will happen with Brad and Tim. I think, first of all, I think this is so funny. I think it's so funny. It's so mean. But I also think, I can't tell if it's Brad being cheeky and being like, it's funny, dude.

Stutzley, you're an awesome player. Or if this is late night Brad genuinely saying how he feels. and we'll never know. Did they ever have any beef, like when they played? Definitely there was beef in, or by beef, it was, they were in the same division. They're still in the same division. Right. And I think Brad has been one of the guys who has gotten on Stutzla for diving.

Diving has been a thing in Tim Stutzler's career. Got it. And a lot, like, Gallagher called him out once. I was like, dude, if you are that good, you can't be fucking diving around on the ice. And I think Marci has kind of fallen into that. camp as well and being like, dude, you can't do that. What I think is so funny about this is Brad sometimes I believe still forgets how good he is

and what a legend he is. It's not like this is just some random guy in the league with a chirp. It's like this is a Hall of Famer. And it's just like sometimes I'm like, Brad, you don't realize the weight that you hold in this league. Exactly. It's hard to bounce. back from that.

Yeah. When Marci says something about it. Exactly. Like if I'm Stutzel, I'm like, fucking God damn it, Marcy is like, give me a break, dude. But it is just this is the old fashioned shit talk that we need more of. It's always fantastic. I agree with that. I said when the Leo offer sheet happened on the heels of the cutter stuff, I was like, good.

I fucking love. I actually want fan bases and teams to hate each other more. it's so fun when that's happening. I don't even care if the players secretly like each other. I just want there to be some animosity. So I'm all for this, dude. These are two Atlantic,

probably hopeful playoff teams, you know, that I'm like, good. I want these guys to meet in the fucking first round, second round, and just be spewing hate with Stutzla with a letter on his sweater too while it's happening,

you know? For sure. Fucking great, bro, bring it on. I also, it's like, I think this is good for Stutzla. Like this is a great, you know, fucking go, okay.

Hell yeah. Let it fire you up. Let it give some vibes going for you. I mean, that choice simply must be Sandy, though. Dude, I mean. Or, or Chadby, honestly, Chabby is such a good pick and player as well. Agree completely. But also, every time after something like this happens,

Marci makes some comment like, God, I got to put the phone away. And I'm like, no, dude, keep the phone. Yes. Keep the phone out. Keep coming. Once you get to that age, too, you earn it. It's like an old senile man on this front porch. At some age, you just go like this.

Well, he's old. That's how he is. You can't change him. At this point, give him his phone. Do you log him back onto Twitter and Instagram. Let him go nuts. I agree. I agree completely.

I absolutely love it. And again, I just, this is, I like this. I like cheeky shit talk going on. It's fantastic. Oh, same, dude. Absolutely same. It's fantastic. Do you have a game for us, CP?

I do. Dan, we are going to play around of what's the connection. This is our favorite trivia game. For the new people here, I'm going to ask Dan and Evan 10 trivia questions. The first nine all have answers. And the 10th question is,

what's the connection between the nine previous answers? We've done serial mascots, serial box mascots. We've done superhero, secret identities. We've done famous movie and TV dogs, there's going to be something, Harry Potter characters, etc. Are you two ready for this round?

I am ready and may I say, I love this game so much and the fact that you're gracing us with this game two weeks in a row is really appreciated. Yeah, and it's not easy for everyone sitting at home with their thumbs up their butt. Whoa. You know, I'm doing a bunch of work here to try to make this, make this clever and cute. You're like this New York Times puzzle makers. Yeah, yeah. That's a full-time job.

Thankless job. It's a hard fact. We thank you, Chris. We thank you, boys. We're ready. Thank you, boys. Okay, here we go. This one's hard, but I actually think you can both get it, and especially Evan.

Oh, boy. Question number one. In the late 1930s, the Boston Bruins were one of the first NHL teams to travel to road games by air, abandoning this common mode of transportation every other team was using. Gotta be bus. Yeah, that's, we would assume bus. We feel good about bus. Feeling good about bus.

Moving on. Question number two. This city's original six team has retired the number nine twice. But actually the last player to wear number nine for this team was Pavel Burray, when one of the retired players gave him his personal blessing. So you're looking for the city. This city's original six team has retired the number nine twice. Okay, I feel as though Evan

Bray, obviously we know him as a Canuck but Bray played for the Panthers and I believe ended his career with the Rangers Now by process of elimination that's the only original 16th. Yes. So I think we're going to say Rangers.

Well, no. Well, is the answer to the city? The answer is the city. New York. So we're going to say New York for number two. Manhattan. None of that Queens or Brooklyn bullshit. None of those other borough bullshit.

Okay, we're going to go New York. The question number three, the three on two regroup, Herbys, and two on one from the corners are all examples of a popular hawk Blake. We're going to say drill. Yes, good job. Come on. Question number four.

On March 26th, 1997, this 5-foot-7 goalie earned his 300th career win in an epic game where he fought Patrick Waugh and his team got the dub against the aves, who was really their biggest rival to win a cup during the late 90s and early 2000s with their stacked Russian heavy squad. So a short goalie got his 300th career win where he beat up Patrick Waugh, beat the abs, was their biggest rival to win a cup during the late 90s, late 2000s.

Is that Chris Osgood? I feel like... Had to be, because wasn't they have a lot of Russians on the Red Wings in that era? Or am I making that up? I mean, absolutely. Like, it's definitely the Red Wings. My question is, was...

it, Osgood, because Hasick wasn't that short. Oh, I may, yeah, no, 97, it couldn't have been Osgood, right? Unless he was like, no, there's no way. Because I'm, I'm like, I'm like 10 years early. Yeah. So it can't be him. So who was playing for the, you love the Red Wings? Who was playing for the Red Wings in the 90s?

Yeah, I can get this. I can get this. 300th win, too, so it's not. 300th win. Yeah, so it's a good goalie. Yeah. Let's come back to. that, but I will get that. I feel, I know Red Wings fans are mad at me right now because I,

I claim Red Wings fandom. Yep. Um, I feel he was five foot seven. I mean, that is short, Chris. I know. I shouldn't even know he was that short. Let me make sure that's right. Because when I was looking him up, like, I'm like, Jesus Christ. They said that and I was like, wow, that's amazing that he was that small. Well, yeah, on this one listed at 5'8, but that he probably was 5. That's about the same. Can you read it to me one more time? Yeah, it's basically this guy won

that you don't like, you don't need to know anything other than, yeah, he got his 300th win in 97 and you guys have figured out that he's on the wings, which is correct. Yeah. It's got to be and the rest of the questions to say what is his last name because that's what I'm looking for. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

It's, all right, there's no way, Evan that it is, it's not, I know it's not Hasick. I am rattled that on that 97 team, Osgood was definitely on that team. Yeah, but he wasn't getting 300 wins. No. So it was Mike Vernon. All right. I don't think Mike Vernon's that short. But process of elimination. Let's just say it. We're going to say Vernon and we're going to move on. Question number five. In that In 1933, this team hosted the Red Wings in the NHL's first ever afternoon game. Sick. Sick.

The home team lost to their longtime rival, 4 to 3. It's funny because this city's MLB team was famously the last team in the league to have a night game. Who is that NHL team? I want to say Blackhawks. Yeah, it's got to be Chicago because of the MLB thing. Okay, so let's go Blackhawks. Wrigley Field, crazy for that one. Dude, I love Wrigley Field so much.

Question number six. Pristius Loki gave us that answer. Well, you guys got it so quickly. I would have to respect it. Question number six. The best number blank. So it's a number. The best number blank in NHL history has some tough competition.

A Broad Street bully legend, the best purple king of all time. But we have to give it to this man, son of an NHL legend, who has scored the fifth most goals ever. Wow. Best Purple King ever. That's a great clue. That makes me think either Luke or... Are you counting Gretzky in that or is that... No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, so then let's count Luke.

Is it Luke or is it... What was Bobby Clark's number? Who scored the fifth most goals of all time, though? I don't know. Not off the top of my head. But I feel like Son of a legend So I'm you know Hull

Oh yes So nine Nine Is that robertized Did Hullie wear nine This is really good stuff actually You guys are fucking You're doing really good work right now

Are we? Okay I mean it's definitely Hull is like The Son of a Legend Well one Yeah one But like Hully wore 16 For the Blues Son of a legend

Wait did the legend score fifth the fifth most goals of all time or the the no the sun the son the son scored the fifth the son the sun and the broad street bully and the purple king all wore the same i think it's 16 i think marcell wore 16 yeah we have to assume one of the broadsie bullies because like whole war 22 in dallas let's go 16 16 moving on all right question number seven i'd also like to jump in and say currently i have if our answers are right i have no idea what the connection is. Yeah, me neither.

Yes. Okay, question number seven. This one I had a hard time wording, but you'll get it. This Tier 3 junior team in the USPHL hails from this excellent smelling city in Pennsylvania. This city is also home to the Washington Capitals AHL team. Okay, Hershey. The HAL mascot is a brown variety of this animal. Bear.

Matching the color of the city's most famous export. and the USPHL mascot is the baby version of that animal. What is it? It's a bear. Okay, bear. Yeah. Bear. Okay.

Question number eight. That was so confused. Like there were so many different answers there. Like I was like, is the answer. Is the answer bear? Is the answer cub? But I think the answer is bear. So moving on.

Question of eight. This player's first heart trophy and last heart trophy were separated by 12 years. Holy gas. The longest gap in NHL history. That is incredible. Yager? I know.

No. No way, right? No, can't be. Wayne? It's got to be like Gordy. Oh yeah, like somebody who just played forever. Fuck. Okay, we'll come back to that one.

Okay, in question number nine, this player scored a goal after the puck ricocheted off a stanchion and no one. else knew where it went but him beating the sharks and sending his team to the stanley cup final in 2011 what is his first name it's a canuck his first name is it is a canuck because 2011 yeah beating the blackhawks and going to see who is on the defense in in that i'm wondering if it's if it's fucking bexa kevin bexa kevin right yeah okay so who's what's his first name kevin what's his first name kevin what's say Kevin. Put Kevin on there. Okay, so Chris, our answers currently are bus, New York, Drill, Vernon, Blackhawks, 16, Bear, Blank, and Kevin. Two are wrong and you have a blank. Wow. Okay, so Kevin has to be wrong. On the two that are wrong, you're extremely close and you'll get it in a second. You just... Okay. Kevin has to be wrong.

No, Kevin's right. Oh, Kevin's right. Fuck. Is Kevin BXA? Yeah, it's BXA. Two are wrong? Okay, bus is 100% right. New York, we know that Blackhawks is right.

I can tell you which ones are wrong if you want. Yeah, tell us which one's wrong. Number seven is wrong. Bear is wrong. But I just think you didn't follow it. Like, the AHL team. The HAL team is a brown variety of this animal. And I think you know the Capitol's AHL team.

Yeah. The Hershey Bears. It's the Hershey Bears. This USPHL mascot is the baby version. Okay, so it is Cub. It is Cub. Okay, so Cub. Okay.

And then... Okay, so we have Chicago, Cub, drill. And then number one is actually wrong. And you'll realize it's wrong. Train. Okay, so train. Did they take trains? Yeah.

And Dan, actually, the Bruins went to air. Then World War II hit, and they all went back to trains. because they were like we need, you know, you can't be flying all over the fucking place. And then it stayed trained for like a really long time. And a lot of old players say those train rides were all time. So they actually wish, they were like, God, I should have stayed that way.

Was number four right? Number four is right. Wow. That was a hard one. Who won the Heart Trophy 12? Dude, that is crazy. Your instincts were good. And we need his first.

names. Who is this player? Who's the player? Gordy, how? Did we? Or was the instinct, Wayne? I'm trying to think of fucking

he said our instincts were right in Gordy which you know that feels like the only one that makes sense to me. Like there's just no way, right? Ev like

that would be fucking insane. Yeah. Yeah. So let's say Gordy Howe. Is that right, Chris? It is correct. Okay.

Gordy Howe. Okay. So our answers are train, New York, drill, Vernon, Blackhawks, 16, Cub, Gordy Howe and Kevin. I have no fucking train. I'm trying to, yeah, Vernon. Never was Scotland. past Dan. Burn and train.

I will get this. Gordy Howe being that, dude, well, I won't give you any hints if you don't want any yet. Okay, so Gordy Howe, how, are we just looking at the last name like How, H-O-W? Nope, that one's the full player. Gordy Howe. Okay. Does this have anything to do with Ferris Bueller's?

Ferris Bueller is what comes to mind because of Gordy Howe. Also, like, But I don't know. There's no train in that movie. Maybe it's broader than just that movie. Is it John Hughes movies? I mean, certainly it could be. Because there's a famous scene with a drill from Uncle Buck.

There is. Most of his movies take place in Chicago, and New York is where Steve Martin was coming from in planes, trains, and automobiles. There's a train in that. That would be the loosest. And like, but like, Ferris Bueller goes to a Cubs game. Does he? Yeah, he catches the foul ball.

I can't imagine that was a White Sox game. Vernon? Is that the name of like the principal or something? Principal Vernon. Is that his name? I don't know. His name's Ed. Somebody's called Vernon somewhere.

In one of these fucking movies. It can't be that. It can't be John Hughes movies though. It could be. That just seems very esoteric. Chris is. smiling like it might be. And like Kevin, Kevin,

is home alone. I think it might be John Hughes movies. Is it John Hughes movies? It sure is. Yeah. Wow. Really good job. And actually, I think it's, I think it's tighter than you think. No, no, no. Hold on. So,

Gordy Howe is obviously Cameron Fry. Kevin is home alone. That's obvious. The Blackhawks is like, Clark. Griswold wears the shirt. Is that John Hughes? Yeah, he wrote that movie. Oh, okay, okay, okay. And that's, that's obviously what that is. Yeah. The Cub, the Cub must be, they're the Cubs. You guys said Cub, but like they're the Hershey Cubs. Yeah. Right, the Cubs. Right. You guys singular in it. Yeah. But is like, but is that Ferris as well? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's fine. You're, you're basically finding like six different ways. And Vernon, Vernon is. Wasn't that the principal and breakfast club? Breakfast Club? Yes. Vernon is Breakfast Club. Okay.

The drill is Uncle Buck. New York could be lost in New York, Home Alone, too. That could be that, yeah? Train is... I would have... Planes... Planes, but yes.

Trains is planes, trains and automobiles. Wow. So let's get the 16. Oh, 16 candles. Boom. Oh, fuck, yeah. Damn, dude. John Hughes movies.

Good job, Chris. Great job, guys. Wow. We got there. Really, really good. Once I was trying to make a connection between drill, I was like, there's got to be something. It is so funny how Gordy, like, through that whole thing, Gordy How, I was like, this has got to be Cameron from.

Isn't it so funny how iconic him wearing that fucking sweater? I put that and Kevin is the last two because I was like these, when I hear Kevin, I think of one thing. Yeah. And when I hear Gordy Howe I think of one thing. It's like, you're like, Kevin. Kevin, 100%. Yeah. So.

Kevin, you're a disease. Wow. That was, that one was awesome. I will say, kudos to John Hughes. for being an NHL legend for making two iconic movie jerseys. Agree. I had the same thought. And dude,

somehow this whole time I didn't know he wrote Christmas vacation. I had no idea of that one. I'm going to be honest, that one. Dude, John Hughes is so fucking goaded. It's unbelievable. Literally every single movie he has a hand in is one of the greatest films of all time.

He, uh, not to speak, I'm not speaking of All the Dead. This is the 80s. He just would do a shitload of cocaine and write a movie in like a Yeah. That's how he was so profit.

A cocaine-fueled man would then produce the most heartfelt films of all. Oh, yeah. Like, I would think if John Hughes, if some guy was fucking dusting rails and then making a bunch of crank movies, I'd be like, yeah, sure, makes sense. Yeah. But instead, he was just like this, let me do a kilo of blow and then make a movie that will stick with you forever because of how much hard it has. They must have had way better coke back in the days. It must have been. And did you see him in the John Hughes documentary, or not the, sorry, the John Candy.

documentary was that was cool to see their friendship. Unbelievable. You know what we are desperately missing in today's film world is a new John Hughes, a guy who just pumps out movies that make you feel good. And Richard Curtis, like, where are they? Yeah. I mean, Richard Curtis is, like, Richard Curtis is listening to, he's listening to this pod right now and he's like, I'm alive.

I'm right here. Unbelievable, Chris. Let's take an ad break and jump on back in. Thursday night football just got a whole lot cooler because there is now legendary Thursdays at BetMGM. How about that? This means that every single week you can get a pro football no sweat token. And if your qualifying wager doesn't hit, you'll get bonus bucks back. God, I thought Thursdays were awesome before.

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Then you get to claim your new player offer when you sign up. It cannot get better than this. It really can't. Bet-M-G-M-M-M- Make it legendary. Welcome back, everybody. And we got a little bit of one of those pieces of news that's like, hey, this things happening in 50 fucking years from now. And you're like, oh, cool. But it appears that the NHL is about to announce that Houston is getting an NHL team. Now, they probably won't start

playing until the 2930 season, but before this year is over, this announcement is going to be made NHL on track to award its 33rd franchise to Texas. There's been a lot of speculation on this show, on many shows about cities. Looks like Houston is the winner. Dan, your thoughts. I feel like I'm going to get attacked by Houston people again. Again. Yeah, remember when we did that, it was like there was that popular internet question. One of the four biggest cities in the U.S. And when Houston came up, we were like, Houston, what the fuck?

People were like, you don't know shit about Houston. And that's true. I don't. Yeah, me neither. I don't like it. It's not the city in Texas that I would choose. But I love Texas. And Houston is the biggest city.

Houston is a monster city. But yeah, like they are massive. And you know what? When I think about it, it's we still got to get to the hangar. Stars fans, we love you. We've been saying we're going to get to the hangar and we were going to go to the hangar if the Dallas Stars had won. But they didn't. And they will eventually and we'll get there.

It's not what I would pick. But I think this is a fun discussion of what cities in the U.S. do we want to see the league expand to? And everything that comes up, it's like, Austin is obviously, I'm tiptoeing, Austin is my pick. I think Austin makes so much sense to get a professional sports. I know they love their longhorns there, but like a pro sports team that is not Austin FC belongs in Austin.

I know they have the Texas stars, but like I want to see an NHL team in Austin. And in this article, it says Austin, because obviously they're not going to end on an odd number. They're trying to get to 36, which I want to talk about in a second too. But Phoenix getting a team back, Atlanta getting a team in Austin are the other ones that are heavily in the running here, Quebec City too, I guess. And they reference Vegas when they talk about Austin going, it's a smaller city. We were scared about going to Vegas, but the small city almost helps because the fan base just becomes so rabid. And that will happen at Austin, too. And wherever that arena would go in Austin, it will be in a close proximity, which, as we know, works so well for pro teams.

I think Austin makes the most sense. I think it's a very, I think it's a very, the people who live in Austin now are people who would go to hockey games. Put it that way. I think that they really get hyped up for the way I've seen people flock to. Austin FC games. Like, that's what I'm referencing. The people who live in Austin are really big on Austin stuff. And if Austin all of a sudden had an NHL team, I think that they would flock to those games. I really, I think Atlanta needs to be pee-p-wacked for a longer time. Like, how many times are we going to go back to that well and be like, Atlanta, you got another NHL team.

It was only once, right? Or did we try? No, dude. Flames and Thrashers. Like, this will be the third time that they have an NHL team. And it's, could it work? Sure. But I'm more like you're in, you're in timeout still. Yeah. Like give a new city a first chance.

They won't be first. Yeah. And the, you know, it's, I've heard Oklahoma City. I don't really love that. I would love to see a Wisconsin. Maybe get a team. That would be, I mean, do the trouble, though, is it's not about the city or the fan base, unfortunately.

Like Seattle is an incredible city and an incredible sports fan base. Like people in Seattle love their sports teams. And the team name is sick, the logo sick, the jersey is sick, everything's sick. Players don't want to live there. So they're like, I'm not going there. And then it's completely fucked them. So if we're like, we have a team in Wisconsin. You love hockey, Wisconsin people?

The players are like, I'm not going to. And then I'm like, oh, no, this team is fucked. and that's currently what's happening in Seattle, which I don't love. You know what would probably work great where players love to live that has a ton of golf and would work really well as Arizona.

Phoenix. Put a team in Scottsdale. I bet that would go great. It should. That'll come back. Are you rattled about 36 teams, Dan? Are you like the more than merry? No, I hate it.

I really do hate it. It's a lot of teams. It's so many fucking teams. Again, dude, I think Gary is the greatest commissioner in the history of sports. I think the N.A. is utterly incredible. I think 36 teams is too many.

The biggest thing about it is that quote that's like, if you go to over 32, you start looking at expanded playoffs. And I'm like, dude, the playoffs are so good. 16 teams, like just, I can't be going to the NBA, like bubble playoff. I agree. I don't like it. I also think this, I hate saying this because it means, you know, terrible news for many people.

I think relocation makes more sense than expansion right now. Yeah, yeah, I hear you. You never want to see that happen. God, I wish they were like 2018. I just think any product that becomes too readily available becomes background noise. So when you make something a little more rare, like, hey, the playoffs are only going to be four rounds and seven games or whatever, or we're only going to play an 82 game season. or less, I hope. You know what I mean?

Then it just, then people just be like, oh, well, I can come to it anytime I want. Yeah. And it's like 32, we have no league that has more than 32 teams, correct? Yes, that is correct.

It just feels like it's a good number that makes sense. So I don't know, it rattles me. I'll obviously be here for it. But I don't know. We're going to talk names? Yeah, let's talk names. Yeah, we are.

So this is what's in Houston, now. Okay. The Astros, the Rockets, the Texans, the Dynamo, that's the MLS team. And then the Houston Dash is the women's MLS team that plays in the same place as the Dynamo. You don't want to have a hockey team called the Dash. Correct. That's a bad lot. Yeah. Great fucking call. That's hilarious. Great call. Also, and if there are any Houston Dash fans listening, please educate us. if that name has like a really cool connection that I don't know about then I'm like okay sick

if that name is literally just like a dash like you're running fast then I'm I need the that women's team to have a better name like dash I do I'm not a huge friend I mean I think it literally just means speed yeah I don't love that but I bet it for us in the hockey world it means you're negative on the ice

so that's why like that's my there's just all of these cities have great culture and history. And I'm like, find a name that has connection. We can beat dash. Here's what's interesting. Here are some past teams. The Houston Comets were a former WMBA team. The Houston Oilers, of course, the NFL team.

The Houston Aeros, as an Aeros, like Aeronaut. The Houston Aeros was a hockey team, WHL all the way up to AHL. The famous Gordy Howe was WHA, WHA, WHA, I should have said, Houston Arrow from 72 to 78 and the Houston Gamblers was an XFL team. Remember the XFL? Yep. Was that Vince McMahon's thing? Yes, sir.

I sure was. It was like, it was just like hurt people. Yeah. Arena football. It was like someone, someone was playing NFL Blitz and watching players getting suplexed. And they were like, what if we did that in real life? Yeah.

So I love the fucking name the gamblers. That's a dope. The gamblers is cool. Or I would vote bandits. Kenny Rogers. He would have been the biggest fan of. all time of Houston gamblers. Oh, wow, good call, dear. I typed into chat, Chb-T for like history. And the first thing that comes up is space and NASA. And I was like,

oh, that'd be so sick. And then I realized every Houston team already does that. Yeah, like, somehow it didn't cross my mind that the rockets and the Astros and the Comets. Like, that's all Houston does. Yeah. Oh, how have I not processed that Houston only does space teammates? Oh, my God. Are you blowing Dan's mine right now? Damn. Like the Houston Astros and the Houston Rockets are there two sports teams before the Texas. This didn't occur to you until just now. Oh, my God.

That is like. Isn't that amazing? I feel like a moron. You truly knew nothing about Houston. That was when you weren't lying. How have Houston people not come for us when we've, remember, we've had this discussion on the show multiple times about what city. Or you know what? Maybe this has mostly been in the sports annex.

We talk about cities that have awesome collections of names. Like what cities do the best job? I've said multiple times, Detroit with the Pistons and the Red Wings. And that might, yeah, because the lions and tigers, I'm kind of like, whatever. But like, Pistons and Red Wings are so cool with how specific they are to the city of Detroit. Cities that have all of their teen names being very crucial.

coolly specific to said city, I think is very, very cool. Even shout out Miami. Like, heat, dolphins, very cool. I'm going to count the Panthers because, like, there are Panthers all over that Florida area. Houston is way up there. It's the home of NASA, Dan. Like, every team name should be, like, right in this. Rockets and Astros are amazing.

Amazing. They took the real estate of the good names. You know what I would say? You know that famous phrase, Houston, we have a problem? Why don't you car your team the fucking Houston problems? Oh, that's pretty cool, actually. Because now Houston, you do have a problem. Yeah, but the problem is if they suck, then it's, but if they're really good, then you're like, no, motherfucker, you've got a problem.

I mean, shout out the WNBA Comets. And the WHA, the Aeros. Like, Eros is cool, but that's more of like, arrows is a plane, right? Yeah. I mean, that's a sick name. But, like, keep it space travel. Comets is a great name. So, Dan, the ones it was spitting out, it said you could take the con.

That's what feels mean to the WMBA. I agree. That feels mean. If it was a women's hockey team, then actually I would still feel a little bit stolen valor there. But if it was a women's hockey team, I'd be like, that's a cool homage to them. But I don't think we can crisscross sports here. The Houston Voyagers, the Houston Apollos, the Houston orbit? What the fuck are the Texans doing?

Dan, like, I had the same. actual fuck now that I know this the same thing Montreal did now that my hair has been blown back to a fucking Rick flare slipback mullet what are the Texans doing they went Texans I'm like I know Houston is right there they must have been me they must have been sitting there whoever was in charge of the Houston Texans must have been me and just had no idea just an utter buffoon with no clue This has been one of the most unbelievable revelations of my life. I agree, dude. This happened to me last night. Everything that's going through your mind right now is going to be by last night.

The respect that I have for the city of Houston now has just multiplied to the nth degree because these names, the Astros and the Rockets are two of the best names in pro sports. Correct. And now I need an NHL team to be in Houston because I need them to continue this legacy and point even more to the fact the Houston Texans are the biggest buffoons except for me on Earth. So figure out a name, okay, what about the Buzz for Buzz Aldrin?

That's cool. That would be fucking. I also, they also had the Houston, the Houston launch, which I kind of think is, hate, no. Yeah, you couldn't have a,

you couldn't have a, Houston launch is, you know what that is, dude, that's a fucking chat GPT name. Yeah, true. Like, we got it, like, let's, makes me hungry.

What are a, the Houston Galaxies? Don't, don't like it because Galaxy is an MLS team and we got, We got, we can come up, dude, think about space. It is the final frontier.

The Houston Stars. Oh, wait, no. I know, I wanted that, Ev, yeah. What about Moonshot? I mean, there are obvious ones, like the asteroids. Like, we can't do that. Meteors. Meteors is pretty cool.

Kind of similar to comets. What about Martians? Oh, that's kind of. That is actually tangentially related. We've never had an alien mass. Scott. That'd be kind of sick. Yeah, and you could probe the other team.

What if they were just the aliens? The Houston aliens. The Houston aliens. The Houston Martians would be sick. No, because you can't call it aliens because then you're going to get a bunch of fucking racist. I don't know this damn immigrants. Too way too close to the border too.

Way too close to the border for that. Can't do aliens, but the Houston Martians are in play. Martians is definitely in play. Houston Martians are in play. What about astronauts, Dan? Just like, that's what they are. It's how men. It's what they are.

It's home and NASA. Houston astronauts. I just think that Astros is too close. Like, I know it's different, but, like, Astros is way too close. You can't have the Houston Astros and then the Houston astronauts. You can't do that. Let's see, the black holes. Kind of sick.

What about the Houston Interstellars? Incredible. What about the Houston planet? Oh, here's a good one. Here's a good one. What? The Houston Nebula. Oh.

Okay. I like that, dude. That's pretty sick Because a giant cloud of gas and dust and space Where new stars are born Yeah New stars are born Houston nebulous

Who's their mascot? A baby star Well it's a giant cloud of gas Yeah but that can't be the stack It could be a big cloud Houston Suns The Houston Nebula would be sick

What about the Houston Quasars? Yeah gas This is Isn't this amazing dad All of this happened to be The Houston orbit. Yep. The orbit's kind of cool, actually.

I guess it's a gun. There's some other things about Texas other than space travel. What about space cowboys? What about the, Oh. Then you get both. That would be kind of saying. What about the Houston light year?

You could have... Disney would probably have something to say about that, but... Well, no, light year is a phrase. Yeah, that was a term... What about light speed? No, well, I was going to say you could have Buzz Lightyear be like a massive... Yeah. Well, if Disney buys the...

I mean, Disney had a interest in... Disney, get back in. Clippers. So, yeah. What about? I really, I really like Nebula. And I really, I really like, what did I say before that? Martians do.

The Martians. I think the Martians would be sick. Houston Martians would be fucking. Yeah, you've already got the mascot ready. And you have your color. It's fucking. Yeah, but then green is maybe too close to the stars. The player of the game thing could be Marvin the Martian's helmet.

Yeah. Pretty sick. I like that. You could have the team come out of a spaceship. Oh, yes. I mean, absolutely. I've never been more excited about the Houston hockey team my entire life than right now. Yeah.

And Dan, don't fuck this up, by the way. Do not. They could fuck this up very easily and make them the roughnecks. The Houston Martians or the Houston Nebula, I mean, literally a giant cloud of gas in space where new stars are born. how Houston Nebula is a perfect fucking team name. You just have to go space. If they do any other theme, they have fucked it up. Yeah.

They're going to do like rattlesnakes or something. I know, I will die if they fuck this up. Like, this is the most obvious thing in the entire world, Houston. You have one job here and don't fuck this up. I looked up the most common animals in Houston. I was curious where you're going to fuck this up. And the number two most common animal in Houston is the Armadillo, which I actually thought would be Numbie. Armadillo, yeah, that's right.

Houston Armadillo. They've also got gators, fire ants. Whoa. I would like that. The Houston Dillows would be sick, but we can't mess us up. You have to do space. You have to do space. I mean, dude, you could do star constellations.

Like, you could do the Houston centars. Whoa. Oh, that, that opens up a lot more, actually. Agreed. You could do the Houston orions. You could do the Houston. Big dipper. Taurus.

Like, you know, you could do the Houston dippers. Everyone packing lips, dude. Like, that would be fucking sick. Yeah. more than they already are. I could talk about this forever. I'm in a... You're welcome, Dan.

I'm in a Wikipedia page called The Glossary of Astronomy. There are so many names. You could do the Houston Corona. Oh. Gas and beers. You could do... The Eclipse. The Houston Eclipse would be cool.

That would be really cool. Yep. This is unbelievable. Houston is the best city in the world. What about the, Chris, eclipse, that now work. That's good. You could do the Houston Equinox. Oh, yeah. Get a deal with Equinox. Yeah, yeah. So maybe something with the moon, too. The, I mean, I keep coming back to Martians. That would be just so fun. Houston Eclipse. The Houston eclipse would be very cool. It's a little too vague. Yeah, the mascot is hard.

What about the Houston? It's a moon. A little different than Galaxy. What about the Houston Galactics? Okay, that's cool. That's fun. I mean, there's so much space stuff. Stay in space. There's literally so much space. What about the Houston gas giants? I'm in, dude.

I'm in. That would be sick. I mean. I think Nebula is a decent one. I think Houston Nebula would be very cool. I think that would be very, very cool. Nebula are Martians. Although when you go to, if they have ever ever a team on Mars, what are you going to call them?

What about the Houston? The Houston Ice Giants. That's another one. But then we're just doing giants. We can't do that. All right. We can, I suppose we can move on, but I don't want to. Yeah, I know.

You really want to crack this stuff. I am like, I know Dan, Dan literally wants to figure this out, call the NHL and have the team named immediately. I'm going to call Gary. Yeah, call him, Gary, we got it. Give me a 1% stake in the team for coming naming it. And it's just like we, the Salt Lake City Snipes is, is, and I'm, and I, I love it's one of the biggest. It's one of the biggest misses of all time.

But the Salt Lake City Snipes is a much better team named than the Utah Mammoth. And we are now going to defeat Houston as well. We already beat Utah and now we shall beat Houston before we rest. I mean, the Hughes, what about the Houston Milky Way? Oh, that's dope. That would be fucking money. That would be dope. I mean, you have so much.

There are just the marketing you can do with space. Why aren't the Astros and Rockets doing this more? The Texans are an all-time fumble. I've just missed it. But the Texans is the good, hey, nice, by the way. That is the biggest fumble in the history of the NFL. I mean, what are you guys doing? I mean, Artemis.

That's a good one, too. Gemini. Like, go into kind of like the Greek God vibes too here with that. That's cool. What about the Houston multiverse? Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah.

Houston Nebula and Houston Martians, I think, are my top two right now. Oh, Houston Apollos. Oh, I saw that one. That's cool. Oh, wait, is that already a thing somebody did? No, I don't think, or I don't think so. Oh, that's not already one? Okay.

Yeah, that one is sick, dude. The Houston orbit. That could be cool. Now we have a gum sponsorship. Yep. The Houston parallax. We got to move on. I'm sorry.

but I can't. Titan. No. I mean, even the planets would be sick. Houston planets would be sick, dude. I was thinking about that. Like the daily planet, the Captain Planet, like there's some sick logos that we can pull from. Houston Planet would be sick.

Houston Uranus. Yep. Now we're talking. Waw. Now. Houston Quasar would be sick. Okay. Sorry.

Wow, we are. Chris, move us on before. Dan's got an erection. I can see it from here. I'm going to spiral us down. I'm glad that brought me as much joy as it, or I'm glad it brought you guys as much joy as it brought me. I feel,

let me do, first, let me apologize to everyone in Houston and also pledge my allegiance to Houston. I was unfamiliar with your game and also let me look directly into the camera and have a Tobias Fune K moment and say this. I feel like a fucking idiot. Yeah.

Yeah. So did I. So did I. I feel like a fucking idiot. I just, it's, I just missed it. I missed it. I don't know how I missed it, but I did and I apologize and I'm going to be a better man for it. So this is special.

Yep. And that'll take us right into this week's round of fraud watch and top hits. I will start. Yeah, start, Chris. You start. You're the remote guy. You start. My fraud watch might be wrong.

Like, I might be completely wrong about this. Well, that's the point of fraud watch. Yeah. Again, people, you know, we always like to emphasize fraud watch is not a statement. It is a, we're placing you on fraud watch to be corrected or more to maybe shine a light on something that is a fraud. And Ev, I'm actually leaning on you to tell me if I'm wrong on this one. Okay. My fraud watch is stand up, the industry of stand up comedians.

Yikes. I'm listening. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I can already tell this is going to, we're going to get lit up for this one on. And I think the answer is going to be, there's no money in it. But I feel like we used to have a ton of standup comedians and it was awesome.

Oh. Like all the legends, you know, Pryor and Carlin and Eddie and Robin Williams, you know, like that was doing it. Dave Chappelle, Norm,

Chris Rock, like all these specials and it was so sick. And now I'm like, dude, even like Dane Cook, even like pop stand-up comedians, you know? And now, they're Shane Gillis for sure. And that Nate dude, who everybody likes. Nate Bargazzi is so funny. But I'm like, why, where are the stand-up comedians?

Like, why aren't, why isn't there like a whole new stable of like the next great stand-up comedians from our general? Because I love stand-up. Every time it's a new special, I am the first person to go watch it. I miss them. I wish they were, I think wish it was here still. It's an era gone by. That's how I feel the industry of stand-up comedy is on fraud watch because it's going away.

But maybe I'm wrong. I think you just named a bunch of great ones. Yeah, but he's saying that those are in the past now. No, but Nate and Shane are like, there are two. That's why I was like, maybe I'm wrong because there are two. But like, I think I have a theory as to why you feel there's a dearth. Okay. And I will address the camera.

And meaning I will address Chris. Yeah. When I look in the camera, but when I look at you, This is me looking at you. This is me looking at the camera. First of all, the most of it is online. A lot of it's online now. And it's been sullied into like little clips.

Yeah. Everyone's just a TikTok comedian. Exactly. And because you have to constantly post every day, what ends up happening is nobody can write that much material. So they post what's called crowd interaction stuff. Yeah, crowd work has been, I mean, like Matt Rife made an entire career on crowd. Right.

And yes. So what you're seeing now is a shift to everyone fighting. Like, it's the same reason why, like, we don't live in a monoculture anymore. It's because the business basically said, hey, we're going to stop investing in people and, like, giving them chances. And we're just going to let you fight it out on the internet. And if you happen to get a million and a half followers, then you get to be famous. Yeah, and then here's your special. Right.

And the reason that's hard to do is because in order to get a million and have followers, you've got to post every fucking day, maybe more than once a day. Yeah. And in order to do that, you've got to post a lot of crowdwork stuff in a minute and a half clips, which aren't exactly as memorable as like a George Carlin rant or a Bill Hicks, you know, bit, right? So, and politically it's been fractured into like people that have no ideology. that just want to say fucked up shit so they can get like people riled up

and they and then there are comics that have an ideology that like get mad at those other comics so there's a lot of infighting going on. That's from my and I used to work at the laugh factory. I know that's why I was like you're gonna know. Yeah. I think you're absolutely right. I do think TikTok and Instagram have kind of like taken over

the stand up comedy world. I also think cancel culture brutalized comedians. Like you, there was a period where you weren't allowed to joke about anything. Yeah. It certainly has made... Good point. I think it makes people gun shy at least. I do want to shout out a few in this new...

Like, I think Nate's probably my favorite going. But I think he's been doing it forever, but I think Bill Burr deserves a shout out. Oh, totally, yeah. I also think John Mullaney deserves a shout out. John Mullaney is so fucking smart. Incredible. Yeah, his show on Netflix is fucking hilarious.

Yes. And I think Ali Wong is funny as fuck and her stand-up specials have been really good. And Chris, your goat, Jezelnik is definitely, I mean, like, talk about the controversial king. Oh my God, dude. But one that makes me laugh every time I see him. There's this comedian. I think he's like under a million followers. His name's Chappelle Lacey. He is so fucking funny. If you search him on IG, that dude, he does a lot of crowd. work, but he is so funny and deserves one of these. So it's, it's, it's hanging in there. It's, it's there, Chris. It's just that we're, the culture, there's actually more standups than ever. It's just like, oh, there's just, there's just so much of it. You can't, you can't separate the wheat from the chaff.

Yeah. You know. Well said. Okay. Yeah, that was really good. Okay. I like that. And, but Chris, okay.

Because I miss it. Yeah. I want, I want the big stage and the big laughs, dude. It's incredible. Dude, I remember the days of like you would download someone's down special by the CD, listen to it on a road trip. It was unbelievable. Watching Eddie Murphy Delirious and Eddie Murphy Raw. Oh, my God.

Like in Steve Knox's basement are some of the highlights of my life. I worn out my Mitch Hedberg CD, if you remember him. Ledge. I saw him right before he died in New York. One of the kings of dry comedy. So good. Unbelievable. All right, Ev.

Fraud watch. My fraud watch? Well, you said that now that you've sort of clarified what the fraud watch is, three months in. This isn't necessarily something that's a good thing, but there's this trend of this thing called pheromone maxing.

Have you heard about this? Dude, I just saw this out. I can't believe you're saying this. Evan? Great, great fraud watch. Something that's topical, something that deserves to be put on fraud watch and inspect it.

I love it. Go on. Inspect this, motherfuckers. Wear some fucking deodorant. Take a bath. No girl's going to go out with you or fuck you. if you smell like B.O.

Or you drink your own piss. Apparently that's part of you. You're supposed to drink your own piss. I saw the drinking your own... We clearly all saw like the same clip. The drinking your own piss must be them rage baiting us, right? Like there's no way that that is something that these people are actually doing. I don't know anymore.

I'm getting old and confused. I... This is such a good fraud watch. I am so sensitive to this stuff. We've talked on this show before about my super nose. I, man, when I'm in a public space and I've been in a lot of airports and airplanes recently in the last week,

it makes me so sad when I walk by someone who just smells terrible. Yeah. Because sometimes I believe they don't know. I believe that they are completely oblivious to it. Or unable to fix it. Yeah. And I'm like, fuck, man.

I'm sorry that that's happening to you. And I wonder if we could live in a culture where we could, like, if you were with someone who smells really bad, I wonder the reaction if you went up to someone with a stick of deodorant and it was like, hey, you got a bit of a stink going on. You might, I'm sure you've been walking around all day, thought maybe you could use this. Right. Is that, that must be offensive.

Absolutely. The person would probably be embarrassed. They might be offended. Maybe there's, aren't there cultures that don't allow deodorant or something like that? I don't know if that's real. I might have just made that up, but that might be a thing. But I think it is nuts, dude. And actually, when I was in prep school, not going to name any names.

We had a buddy who lived on campus, who was a very good friend and did not wear deodorant because he was from kind of like a hippie family. And they were big on the like, the aluminum's in the deodorant is killing you and blah, blah, blah, blah. And he was like an insanely good athlete. so active and we would he would play sports and just you know shower using eucalyptus root soap

sure and then not put on deodoran and an hour later he smelled awful yeah and we like a bunch of our buddies we we didn't know we I was with him every day did an intervention one of our best friends and we eventually I was like I don't know what to do here so I went to the store

and I bought I think I think it Chris I think it was Tom's of Maine deodorant because it was like a very organic deodorant. Yeah, that's a good starter. Right? And I bought 10 sticks of deodorant for this ruse and I went up to him and I was like,

yo dude, my mom just mailed me all this fucking deodorant. I couldn't go through this in a year if I tried so I'm just giving them to people. And he held that deodorant and looked at it as if it was a space rock. Something he's never seen before in his life. My God. And he was like, oh, thanks.

but I could see the skepticism And then he goes like this No, don't eat it It's not food It's not food It's not candy I could see the skepticism in his eyes And to this day

I can't I do not know if it was him going I've never thought to use this Or if it was him going Is Dan subtly telling me I smell your shit? Yeah And I do If memory serves

I believe that there were many days Where I was like He doesn't smell as bad I think he's using that He might be using it But dude But to actively be like, I'm going to meet a woman, I'm going to go on a date with a woman. Yeah.

And I'm going to suss out whether or not this is going to be a fit by making myself stink more. And then, like, trust me, they can already smell you. Like, they know. Like, your natural smell is going to come out. You don't have to drink your own piss, kid. You can, you like, it's okay. Ev, I think smell is so attractive. Yeah.

I, when I, when I, like, when I, like, when I, walk past a dude who smells lights out, I want to run up to him and go, what do you do? Yeah. What are you using? What soap, deodorant, cologne? Like a good smell is amazing. Yeah. And I cannot believe that there are people right now who are buying into this shit that are going, smell like ass.

I think it's the same people that are like, I don't want to masturbate because I'm going to lose my seat. Just jerk off. Just jerk off. Just jerk off. Don't get addicted to. Jerking off. But just jerk off. You'll feel a lot better.

Put on some deodorant and then you'll get laid. Trust me. It worked for me. It worked for centuries. And here's the reality, dude. Unless we are talking about procreating, your seed is poison. You got to get it out. It plays tricks on your mind.

And I don't know if you know this, but it comes back. It regenerates pretty quick. Ferramone maxing we're out on. It is smelling like, smelling like shit is not good. Now, Chris, I know that you famously are somebody who might skip a shower or two. Yeah. But that's sort of because you're busy. Oh, you do the pool.

I'm always in the water, F. I'm never skipping showers. When I'm skipping showers, it's because I'm in the pool. I'm in the ocean, whatever. But no matter what, the deodorant's going on. Oh, I know. And I've been around you plenty and you don't have a smell. So you're good.

The only person I know who has a bad smell that I've never been around, but the legend is that Brad Pitt stinks like B.O. Really? But he can get late because he's, you know, a fucking multi-millionaire. Wow, that is a unbelievable staple. I didn't know that. I've heard before, and I don't know if it's on certain sets in like a maybe a method vibe, but I've heard Tom Hardy has a stank too.

Yeah. Well, and again, it's like, look, these guys are working, they're sweating, they're doing, they're saying no judgment. You got to. These are just things that I've heard. You have absolutely got to not be smelling like shit. Yeah. We can't do that.

All right. enough for me. My fraud watch, I believe I've talked about this in passing on the show before, but now with the with the inception of fraud watch here, it is a good platform for it, is going to be wind. Have I ever talked to you about this, F? Wind. Wind. No. I think wind absolutely blows. I think it is the worst element. No pun intended. Yeah. Well, maybe it was. wind blows and sailors are going to get mad at me

kite flyers are going to get mad at me but wind fucking sucks all it does is ruin shit it's so true all it does is ruin she's right he's right it's truly right take sailing and kite flying out of the picture wind just sucks

and wind energy there's this wind turbines no it's one of the biggest frauds in the world I did a cave You think they don't generate enough? I know they don't. I did a massive case study on this in university because it was, it is so, the wind turbines are fucking useless. You mean college, Dan?

Is that what that word means? Yeah, sorry, college. It's ass. Wind is ass. It just ruins stuff. If you're on the beach and you're trying to have a relaxing day and wind comes by and blows sand in your face, it messes up your frisbee games, it's just trash. Messes up your hair.

Messes up your hair. If you're outside trying to take pictures at a wedding and the wind is howling and it's blowing the bride's hair in her face. It's blowing her veil off. Trash. If it's a perfect temperature day, wind comes by. Now it's too cold. Sucks. If you're golfing, wind sucks.

It's just awful. If there's a wildfire in Canada, wind blowing it down to New York. Spreading fire everywhere. Wind just fucking stinks. I hate it. It doesn't, it makes more often than not, it ruins your day. I'm done with it. I hate wind.

Fraud watch. What about, oh, sorry, go ahead, Chris. No, no, he's 100% right. That's all I was going to say. What about on Halloween when you get a cool? Like a scary spooky wind. I think Halloween is decent for spooky wind. Like, don't you want to have a fall day with a little wind blowing around?

Like, it's Halloween. It's like 50 degrees outside. I'd rather fog. You'd rather fog. Yeah, I think fog makes things spookier. I'll allow wind there, though, but I would also rather fall. How about this? On how... You can't have fog without wind.

Give me one gust. One gust. Blow up some leaves. Yeah. Give me a spooky whistle, but then go away. Don't be continuous wind. One spooky whistle is all you get. That's all we need.

All right. Wind stinks, and I need more people aware of it. Sometimes wind literally does sting when it comes out of your ass. That's very true. It's another blowing. wind terrible wind stinks hate it some scientists please comment and be like actually we need win in order to sustain life on earth shut up wind fucking sucks it's bad for turbulence on a plane too oh dude terrible think about it would you be able to fly without wind yes well yes definitely if you're

like you're creating your own you know propulsion you i think pressure we're moving air you do need moving air, but I can create my own moving air. Yeah. I think when we really think about this, there are way more cons to wind than pros. All right, scientists, get on it. Eliminate wind. Wind sucks.

My top hit of the week is going to be long weekends. Oh, wow. Topical. Topical. I'm following your lead. We've got Labor Day coming up here. And I we're about to enter

holiday season here. and we're going to get a lot of time off with the various holidays, and it's great. I just came, I just took a week's vacation in Sweden, and I, for the first time, in a long time,

I have travel a lot, but I really logged off, as I'm sure you two noticed. Like, I was very present in the moment. I logged off. I took vacation. And it is, guys,

we need breaks. It is so important for the mind to just unplug. Like, I feel so good now. Good. And I realize I felt terrible my entire life. But long weekends are so instrumental to survival. Like, we all work way too much.

And I think long weekends too often people go, oh, yeah, we got the long weekend. I'm going to use it as time to catch up on stuff that I need to do. I understand that that's necessary sometimes. I'm telling you, use it to take a break. Use the long weekend. It's a holiday for a reason. It's a bank holiday. It's a, it's time off work. And Chris, I know you believe in this. Use said long weekend accordingly. Don't forget to use that day off and treat it like a day off. Think too many second Saturday, dude. I think too many people when we have a Monday off, they go into Monday and they're like, oh yeah, it's technically a day off. But, you know, it's Monday. I'm going to, I'm going to do a lot of no, no, no. Treat it like a Sunday. Yeah. And then treat Sunday like second Saturday. Because most people, some people treat Monday like work like you're saying, but I would say most people treat long weekends like two Sundays. They go amazing. Sunday I can like rest, recover from my weekend fun. And then Monday they just do that again. And I'm like, no, dude, you get two Saturdays. You get Friday night debauchery, Saturday night debauchery, second Saturday debauchery. Then Monday is Sunday. You buffoons. Stop treating it as two Sundays. It is two Saturdays. I'm telling you, the long weekend is huge. huge, huge for our mental health. And it's something to celebrate.

We should go into it like every time it happens. Especially quite literally this one is Labor Day. Yep. So the point is to be like, oh, let's take the day off. Yes. And my final thought on it is I think we need more of them. We do. I think every three weeks.

No, let's go four weeks. So it's once a month. Every month we should have a long weekend. There should be a... I mean, there almost always is, but there's a couple dead months. Like, I can't, like April might... No, April has Easter, right? March.

But that's not a day off. That's just Sunday. Oh, that's true. Yeah, we need... Some people take good Friday off. There are some dead months, though, where you're like, there ain't nothing going on in February. Well, there's President's Day.

But a lot of people... Well, they don't... That's not really a holiday for... Exactly. We need more. Once a month, we need a long weekend for our mental health. Yeah, we need a Monday. off once a month. We need every Friday off for the whole year. And I think Friday should just be

half days for everybody. Friday should be a full day. Nobody's, the fact that we work Friday's insane. Well, I, but I'll make the concession that like Friday morning, you might be able to like wrap some things up and be like, okay, I'm ready for Monday. But like, nobody does dick after one o'clock on a Friday. Yeah. Ever. After noon. And I don't get to the office on Friday till 1145. So if you want me 1145 to noon, fine. But that is all I'm willing to concede. Yep. And yeah, we should get one Monday off every month, every Friday off for the whole year, one Thursday off every month, not on the same week that the Monday's off.

And then our minds will be, our minds will be ready to go. Yeah. All right, Ev, what's your top hit? My top hit is this new film called Coyote v. Acme, which I saw. Have you guys familiar with this story? This fucking guy is. is on an all-time heater of topical great fraud watch and top hits. Go on.

My wife and I went to see it Thursday night last week. Was it perfect? Really fucking funny. It is the closest movie I've seen to Who Frame Roger Rabbit. Wow. Because it integrates, I mean, for obvious reasons, it integrates like the live action with the animation seamlessly and tastefully. Like they don't take the original classic vision of what a Looney,

iTunes character is and then like make it a fucking CGI abomination. Yeah. They give it they give it a little bit of 2D dimension with some shadowing and some shading. But the more important thing is like the gags are funny. It's good for adults. It's kind of good for kids. Like I don't know if you brought like a five year old in there.

They're really going to get it. But like any kid from like eight on is probably going to have a good time. Okay. I fucking thought it was hilarious. And the fact that like Warner Brothers made this. tried to shelve it and then now it's out and like people are enjoying it and saying it's one of the best like Looney Tunes animated movie that's been made is really really a lot of egg on the face of some of these executives.

Well and a lot of the movie is like very kind of anti, you know. Establishment. Yeah, like just like well, you know, business is kind of fuck people in the grand scheme. How perfect is Will Forte? He's always perfect. He's always perfect. He's always perfect. He's literally always perfect.

Yeah, he's, he's, the comedy gold standard. Yeah, he's so funny. He's also the nicest man I've ever met in my entire career. Yeah. He's, he is truly stunningly kind and incredible. I adore that person. Yeah, and he played McGruber, so he's a fucking legend. Yeah, he's a fucking legend.

So my top hit, if you have a chance to go to the movies, please go see Coyote versus Agme because it's one of those films you want to see in the theater, because you want to support the fact that it made it to the theater. Yes, dude. I am a thousand. It's an underdog story quite literally because it's a coyote. We all got to go see it. All right.

Chris, Evan, perfect fucking job this week. Absolutely perfect. Thank you, sir. Unbelievable. Chris, round us out. Give us your top hit. My top hit is I really like when, and granted it needs a little bit of space to do this, but I really like when a bathroom has the toilet in the,

its own room with a little door. You know, like when you go into the bathroom and it's like the sink and the shower is there, but then the toilet is in there too, but it has its own little little door. Little closet or whatever. Shout out the grand American hotel in Salt Lake City. Yeah. And I've seen it a million times of my life and I'm always like, oh, that's cool. And it never really occurred to me. But then as I was doing through top hits today, I was like, you don't actually, I really enjoy from a design standpoint is when that toilet's there on the side. And not because it's like, oh, now you can take a shit while everyone else is in there. Like, it's not even because of that.

It's just because it's like the toilet's in its little space. That's perfect. And then the rest of the bathroom can live free. Yeah. If we want to get too germophobia here, it really does eliminate the poo particles blasting up into the air and getting on your toothbrush and where you wash your face and do all that stuff. It is kind of odd that when it comes to hygiene, we do put a place where we do most of our, bathing and preparing ourselves right next to where we shit.

Yeah. And it's not great. This is a simple solve without making it its own room. You know, I'm not saying like put the toilet somewhere else. I'm like, yeah, it should all be in the same place, but it just has its own little door. Yeah. Little cubby. Yeah.

You're a little mini outhouse. Yeah. Well, first of all, guys, and I know you guys do this, but just a PSA. Close your lid fully before you flush that toilet. Sometimes I feel like I come off to Patrick Batemany when I say things like, this, that is one that more people need to be aware of. I know, I know it's tempting. I know you want to look at those turds go down the toilet.

I know you want to see him go. You want to say, bye-bye. You've got to close the lid. You've got to say goodbye. You should do it after you pee as well. Yep. Oh, yeah. But that's sterile.

And I don't care. Well, or you drink it and you smell better for your day. Yeah, yeah, it's actually helping me. It's helping me on my date. You've got a parallel circle here. That's a good one. I do sometimes not like it when, and this is the majority of a apartments these days.

Bathrooms that don't have windows are kind of a bummer to me. Yeah, or ventilation. Yeah. Yeah. But like even the ventilation is so mid. Like, I feel like it gets covered in dust so quickly. Yeah. And the noise of the fan is.

That's actually a good fraud watch stand. The vents in baths. Vents in bathrooms. Like, they should be fucking superpower. Yeah. You know, like. And much louder so that you can really let a rip without your significant other hearing. But it is.

It is so nice when you go into a bathroom in someone's home and there's like a really lovely window in there. You can literally crack a window if you need to for smell purposes, but it also brings in some natural light. It just, it makes you feel less claustrophobic. Yes. And there's one thing I will say, Chris, that I don't like about doors and bathrooms. I don't like this modern sliding, sliding bar. Is that they call it the barn door style? They never close.

They never close. Never close. You're telling me you've been in a bathroom that has that recently? Yes, dude. The hotel bathrooms always have these sliding doors. Oh, yeah, the hotels do it a lot. I agree. That is, that is a joke.

That is horseshit. Invest in some fucking hinges. But you know what? This is an interesting question. You both live with your significant others. Yeah. I live alone. Do you guys shit with the door open?

Yes. In my house, but not when I'm. with anyone else, including you often, Dan. Yeah. No. And even when I'm alone, even when Megan is not there, a, huh? You close it.

I close it, yes, because my dog is always around and he'll want to come check out what's going on. He wants to say bye. Yeah, yeah. He wants to wave at those turds. He wants to wave at those turds. And also, why are we going to let that smell get out the bathroom? That's my thing.

It's like I know a lot of people who either with their significant other in the house or with there alone, they shit with the door open because they're like, it's free. But I'm like, but you're letting the shit smell enter the living space. Yeah. You got to treat that door like a fucking safe. I only do that thing. Yeah. Now that I think about it. It's like everywhere else I close the door when I'm with you on the road.

It's wide open. Okay. Which, buddy, there's a lot of things you do that piss me off. Yeah, that's the one. I can't believe it. When I, if we are subject to the same hotel room occasionally, which doesn't happen anymore, which is great, or if we're in an Airbnb and it's just us and you, like, I hear you yelling at me for something. You're like, hey, what's this? And I try to find your voice and then I find the open door while you're shitting.

I'm like, who are you? We're friends, dude. What barn were you raised in? And unfortunately, it was the same barn as me. The one you were raised in. It's awful. We talk about shit way too much on this show. It's crazy.

Just guys being dudes. All right, let's wrap things up with a blind ranking. Doc, what do you got for us? All right, it's the beginning of September. You know what that means? Fuck. Pumpkin season. Yeah.

So did that happen? Shouldn't that be October? It should, but it's not. Big pumpkin getting September is a massive, massive win. Before you know, pumpkin's going to be coming in July. So true, dude. So true. So we're going to blind rank our favorite pumpkin spiced items.

Okay. I love this. And you know why I love this? Because I think we need to, um, this is going to be similar to my ketchup rant. Pumpkin spice is delicious. It's amazing. And I don't know why it became cool online to make fun of it just because a lot of white women love it. There's nothing wrong with pumpkin spice.

It's fantastic. All right. Number one, pumpkin pancakes and or waffles. Uh, low for me. very low. Man, it actually is good, but there are some things I like so much. Well, here's the thing that we need to understand going into this, Chris, okay? They're all going to be good. Yeah, right. Good point. Good point. Good point. They're all going to be good. And some of these are a little more generic, like some of them are a little more specific, but they open up the door to generic and vice versa.

So if I say something generic, you can latch on a specific thing to. Yeah. I'm going to go low here because I like the other variations of pancakes and waffles so much more. How low, five? I'd be willing to keep five open in case there's a massive dud on here. Yeah, right, because I guess he could put something crazy. Yeah. Okay, four. Four.

All right, we're going four. I feel so good about this. Okay, pumpkin spice latte drinks a lax Starbucks or pumpkin coffee like a Dunkin. This is really, really tough for us because neither of us drink coffee. But, dude, they're delicious. Pumpkin spice latte, I have tried. They're incredible. It's one of the best things I've ever taken.

They're phenomenal. I'd like a two here. Same logic on the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah, correct. There could be a banger coming. Two, no one is ever going to be mad about a pumpkin spice latte. Give me a sturdy, too. And then this is the one that's the biggest victim of the hate online.

Agreed for no reason. Yeah, like that person drinks pumpkin spice latte. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I hope they do. It's indicative of a certain kind of person. Yeah, two. An awesome person. Pumpkin spice Oreos. Whoa.

Which opens the door to like pumpkin cookies. I know, I know. And like I almost want to go one here. I did because I thought maybe you would have had them. But if you're like thinking maybe Trader Joe's pumpkin cookie. I sure have. But no, he said Oreo. He said Oreo not cookie.

So I think three is perfect. But it could be one, dude. Actually, there's something I want at one, so I'm going to save it. And I'll go three. but that is a hammer. That's a hammer three. That's a three. I am now nervous.

Pumpkin beer. One. I think shipyard. Shipyard pumpkinhead is the greatest beverage that he said deer in general. There's so many different kinds. I can't nail it down to one. But the fact that he said beer allows us to invoke shipyard pumpkinhead as our one, you get that in a 12 pack, you're drinking all 12, you go to the bar, you get it on draft,

with a brown sugar rim. That is the best pumpkin beer that has ever existed. By a mile, by the way. Anyone listening that hasn't had it? Go to Bev Mo, do what you've got to do, talk to them. Shipyard, Portland, Maine,

Shipyard Pumpkinhead. Greatest beer of all time. I'll go one with you. One. Okay. So what's left? Fuck, this is five. And now it's going to be something so good.

Be something bad. The number five is pumpkin kit cat bars. Five. I will live with that happily dead. Five. I will happily live with that. I will happily live with that. I've never had it.

Not interested. Wow, that went so well. This went incredibly well. I told you right off the rip. I felt great about this. And you know what? I actually, wow, that is interesting because I, we live in a world where like the general candies,

we see it with Reese's a lot. Shout out Rees. There are so many iterations. Remember when we did that episode we were talking about like the different iterations of stuff? Yeah, yeah, the version. And Reese's is wanting. is way up there for me where I'm like every version of Reese's is so good. Yep.

Kit Kat has a lot of different versions. I don't think I've tried any of them, with the exception of one being macha because that's big in Japan. Oh, yeah, yeah. Fucking disgusting. Yeah. Absolutely disgusting. I'll never try a variation of Kit Kat again because the Kit Kat classic is amazing. Therefore, Pumpkin Spice Kit Kat sucks.

It's a five. Perfect fucking list. Wow. Great job. Yeah. When I see white chocolate Kit Kat, I'm like, no, thank you. What are you doing, pass. I want that albino Kit Kat.

Nice. Fucking freak. Into it. You fucking freak. All right. Great list. Great episode. That's going to wrap things up.

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