Empty Netters Podcast - Patrick Kane and The Blackhawks Go Together Like Lamb and Tuna Fish

Episode Date: July 28, 2026

Kaner gets a fat ticket from the Hawks to see if he can recapture the old magic. Lebron signs with the Sixers! What do we think of ring chasing in general? The boys have seen the Odyssey so it’s time to rank Nolan’s movies. Gosling joins the MCU, but is it too late for that? USA Hockey plays Family Feud. And we have an INSANE Beer League Hotline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Empty Netters podcast. Can you believe what this has become? There was a full 48 hours where I felt like I was like literally Superman. Jumbo loves playing Fortnite, so he gets on the sticks. Did TR show you the sauna cycle or was that all year? No, no, I invented that. Almost a year now that I haven't taken a body check. That's kind of nice.

So we are back. We are horned up and we are going deep. Finish tonight with some chicken fingers and a few guineasas and into you guys. That's where this pod came to life. Ice is ready and we're back with another episode of the MT Netters podcast brought to you by BetMGM. I'm your host, Dan Powers. We have known astrology hater, Sean Buffini on the sticks. I'm me too, though.

I don't want him taking all the grenades there. I never said anything bad about it. And then over here, C.P. Chris Powers. As always. How are you? I am. Have you scheduled to the haircut yet? No.

but I was trying to and then Mickey was full and then he was only Friday and obviously can't go on Friday so I was like okay I gotta why can't you obviously you obviously can't go on Friday please please

try to say something that you think makes logical sense as to why I can't go this Friday oh you mean this Friday I thought you meant on Fridays in general are you insane I was like you are an idiot fool for what time

dude there is no time you are such a pathetic helpless helpless alcoholic so it's just absolutely disgusting your fiance even knows it maybe you her dog everyone in the world oh yeah that was funny yeah um maybe maybe we'll get we're gonna get one dude it's coming in the next Chris was about to have the start of this show be about him looking at a schedule of when he could get a haircut. This is important. That's what you were about to fill airtime with. This is important news.

Well, you said maybe. You were about to fill airtime. What is this? Would you try to schedule a haircut? I forgot about that. Yeah, this is going to be tough down. You might never get one. Do we do one on the podcast?

Should we just have the barber coming in? That would be incredible. That would be so sick. You probably do that. Well, we've got a great surprise coming for this episode that you have no nothing. about. We've got some fun news to talk about other fun stuff to talk about. First and foremost, I would like to talk about a video game if that's okay. Oh my God, amazing. Sean, do you play video games ever? I dabble. Okay. I recently got, uh, 007 First Light came out recently.

Oh, sick. Yeah. Uh, I'm a, I am a sucker for story mode games. So I've talked on this show many a time, Assassin's Creed is my bag. I love those games. The most recent one kind of sucked, but I love those games because the story is so great. I've heard nothing but great things about Red Dead. I got, I downloaded Red Dead, and I got, like, one mission into Red Dead and stopped because I was like, this, I can tell how good this game is, and I don't have the bandwidth for this. Like, Danny was telling me he has spent days playing that game.

And I don't mean, accumulatively, I mean, literally he has spent a full day before just playing that game, and I'm like, you can't find him sometimes. And we're like, it's like, it's like 50 hours to finish. So I play 007 First Light and there's never been a game that is more for me. Like I'm a huge James Bond guy. It's a great story mode.

It's a combination of secret agent game where you're doing crazy missions, you know, mowing down bad guys. But then also you have to do secret agent stuff where you have to like spy and eavesdrop and like solve puzzles. And I'm playing the game and I'm playing the game.

And I'm, I'm playing it yesterday. I was like, oh, it's a nice Sunday. I'm alone. I'm gonna bid. Yeah. And it just finished. Like, I really don't think I had played it that long.

Like, you didn't get it yesterday? No, no, no, no. I got it, you know, months ago. But, like, I've only played, like, three days. And I played for, like, a couple of hours. You're just too good. No. I think it's short.

Honestly. Like, I looked it up and they, I think it said, 007 first. late. I think it said it was like 14 to 20 hours of gameplay is like the story mode. Yes, that's 20 hours here. And like that's not that much, dude. I mean, some would say that that's a lot. Is it? And also, what do you mean you played three days? And you just finished this 20 hour year. Well, it's obviously I've played more than three days. It's probably been like five days. I've probably played like five days for like two to three hours.

And I just don't think that's enough. Well, that's still wrong. It says 20 to 30 casual point out. No, no, no, no, that's wrong. But 20 is the lowest possible. Look up the gameplay of Red Dead Redemption 2. I think it's like 100 hours. Yeah, I think, I think it's about 50. 40 to 50.

That's what I... And this is 20 to 30. That can't be the average because I believe Red Dead is like the gold standard. But like I'd like 30. You're getting it. Bond is 20 to 30. No, it's not. I'm telling you.

Is there like a multiplayer mode? Mine says 14 to 20. I don't know what you're looking at. I'm looking at the fucking game. I don't think there is. Right. Put it this way. The game's incredible.

I absolutely loved it. And as is always the case with these video games, the story is a movie. It's better than most movies I have seen recently. But I just, I wanted more. I wanted way more. And it was like, 007 will return. But we all know with video games, that means probably in five years. I've heard really good things about first life.

Because that used to be a thing when I was growing up was that the 007 games were always really good. And then they just kind of like phased out. That's kind of what I thought. It was so funny when I saw this. It's like popped up on Twitter for me. It was like, double seven first light, new James Bond game. Get it.

I was like, oh, they finally made a James Bond game. That's genius. And then I had to think back and I was like, wait a minute. Golden Eye was like the greatest game of all time when I was a kid. So I might play it again. I literally might start from zero. Did you take it to full completion? I do need to, it was late.

I believe there might be like a couple of those. Because there's some sides, it looks like. Yeah, there might be a couple of those like, hey, you can do this little thingy as well, like side mission thingies. But I took my time. Like I don't rush through the game. I do all the side quests. I like try to collect all the little thingies.

The sides. It looks like the sides cure cancer. So they do the sides to do cure cancer. The game was incredible. That's all I have. He looks like Tom Cruz. The character? Yeah.

No, he does not. That guy looks like Tom Cruise. I don't know if it's a different guy in the actual. No, that's him. From the side, from afar, I'll give you, like, at a quick glance. But when you're playing it, no, he does not. He has a scar. His version of 007 has a scar on his face?

Yeah, a big scar. That seems like a bad thing for a spy. Yeah. It's very recognizable. It's incredibly recognizable. You don't really blend in. It's also, when we have, Erst Stavril Blowfeld is maybe the most famous villain in James Bond lore, having a massive scar down the side of his face.

I did also find it to be an odd decision. In fairness, I guess James Bond's thing was never like blending in, you know. Yeah, he's like, Bond, James Bond. And he has the expensive suits and the expensive cars. But anyway, it was sick. The, is there, who's the girl? Is there a smoke girl? Yeah, there's several.

Fuck. I got to get this game. But you know what's the best part about them is their brains. Yeah, of course they are. Yeah, it's James Bond. And like Money, Penny, Rocks. God, it's just a great game. The, um, I haven't seen the last James Bond film.

I heard it was really good. It's really good. Oh, wow. No time to die. Yeah. Yeah. I did see the killer, though, which is kind of James Bond-esque, but like a lot more kind like gritty and dark.

Yeah. That was good. You see it? Yes, the Fastbender movie. Yeah. The Fincher movie. Yeah. Really good score in that film

A really good score Yeah Finch and Ross Or Trent Resner and Oh oh Great Atticus Ross

Let's get into some hockey talk Sure Let's get into some news Patrick Kane's got to be the biggest news of the day Patrick Kane Showtime Showtime Is back

He sends a two-year deal to return to the Hawks at 8 million AAV. What was he making? I do need to look that up. I believe it was four. That might be wrong. With the wings.

Yeah. Okay, let's see here. Patrick Kane. The amount of airtime Chris is using searching today is... That is a normal episode. I'm going to fill out this episode. I just saying, to start, you're doing a lot of searching. Any episode that you're not searching is a horrible episode.

So what if you just know all the information? Because then, then you're surprised by nothing. That's actually coming to read the stuff you've looked up. I want to learn on the show. Okay. I like that. He was making, he signed a one year, in 2023, 24, he made 2.75 from the wings. 24, 25, he made four.

But this is not, that's not his AIV. This is like, you're looking at like the, the salary breakdown. No one gives a flying fuck about that. They only care about the AAV. I think you signing one year deals. That's what this says at least. One year deal, one year deal, one year deal. That actually is probably true.

It was his average annual value for that fucking year. People did give a flying fuck about that. Four mil, 24, 25, 3 mil, 25, 26. Yeah. And then the blackharks go like this. Try eight. I'm going to clap at you here, dude. Yep.

I think every single person in the hockey world who is trying to go like this, look at me. Oh, you stick my nose up in there. and make fun of the Blackhawks for this is literally doing it to look cool and to try to make a clickbait moment. There is zero problem with this deal, in my opinion.

There's, there's only, okay, go on. Let me Steve Carrellae. Zero. Zero. That's his name. Mark? Mark Baum. Yeah.

And then he Gosson goes, he did that. He did. See what I was dealing with? He really did that. A great movie. There is zero. Problem with this deal. I have two things to tell you.

Okay. One, this camp is that there is a slight problem with this deal, but I actually think you're right. Yeah. Like you can ignore the slight problem with this deal. But then in this camp, there is a massive problem with this deal, which I will face you. Yeah.

Here's my take. first of all, Patty Kane had 57 points and 67 games last year. Yep. So everyone is conveniently forgetting about the fact that Patrick Kane is still very good at hockey. So here you go. He is a great player. The homecoming element of this is worth its weight in gold. This is going to be electric.

It's going to sell so many more. It's the same jerseys that they have, but people are going to buy new Blackhawks jerseys. with Patrick Cain on it. Patrick Cain being a very similar build-type player to Connor Boudard, playing with Connor Badaard will be nothing but good. It's going to be great for selling out tickets. It's going to be great for media, all this, like the business side is what I'm saying. That is going to be a very big win.

He is a good player, barring any injuries who is going to perform for the Blackhawks for, I would guess, at least one year, probably the two years. Yeah. $8 million with this team that has no one signed is not a big fucking deal at all. And I think the bigger thing, and if you want to talk about this being a problem, you can, but it has nothing to do with Patrick Kane. Who else are they signing, dude? Yeah.

Seriously, I'm asking a question. Literally no one. No one. Like, we went through all of UFA. No one was signing with Chicago. No one is asking for a trade to Chicago. though. So you need players. I would rather Badaard play with Patrick Cain than with...

Nope, I'm not going to disrespect anybody, but you know what I mean? No one. Like a random guy. Call someone up from the fucking wolves and be like the wolf pack and be like, oh, play with us. Like, no. Pass. This is a good move. The 8-milla is going to be gone like that. Yep.

The one thing I will say, I think it is insane that he is a full no move. Yeah. Because no, no. Frankly, like, dude, Patrick Kane, you are the greatest U.S. hockey player of all time. But if I'm Davidson and I give this guy 8 mil, I give him $16 million,

I'm going like this. I will say you were. In the fuck. Your bra. I am giving you a full no move. Because like if they get to a place, dude, where they are missing the playoffs and someone who is about to ring chase,

it looks at Patrick Kane and goes, I'll give you a first round pick for him. I'm Kyle Davis and I'm going like this Yes you will You dare right yet I'm going to take that You can write you on It is crazy

To me that he's also like this Let me steal all your money And also give me a full no move Dude Remind me to talk about a movie thing Later in this episode that I wanted to say right there But I can't derail this conversation I want you're right

I wonder if They go Dude I will give you a no move so that I can't just fuck you. Not going to send you to Calgary. Sorry, Calgary.

Jesus Christ. I was just thinking of a place that Patrick Kane wouldn't, we'll go. The poor people in Alberta. That was awful. If he, maybe he went, dude, I won't, I'll give you the no move so I don't have the ability to fuck you in the dark of night.

Yeah. But you need to understand that you will be waiving this if the right opportunity. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know that they had that. No, I'm, yeah, I agree. Like, you have to. That has to be a possible.

Maybe Canter was like, yeah, no problem. We'll talk. Yeah. So, dude, this camp that I was talking about that it's actually not that bad is the money. It's the people that are going $8 million. To that, I say they need to spend money. They are spending it on nobody else. It's only two years. I wish it was one for their sake, but it's only two years.

So largely who cares? Even though, even though $8 million is, I don't know how we got. to that number. Like I got to believe if they'd been like, hey, dude, here's a two-year four-a-v contract. He would have gone, sure. It was one of those, it was one of those, like, negotiation things where the guy slides you to paper, and it's like five times what you, what your paper said, and you're like, yes. Like, there's just no way he thought he was getting anywhere near 8 million AAB. Yeah. He's like, oh my God. I mean, like, all jokes aside, I think a lot of people's, like, it was just, it is so much higher than he was just on and that people

probably expected. But yeah, like there, I mean, I've seen a couple of creators being like, this is the worst contract of it. And I'm just like, no, it's not. That's the camp that's wrong. Yeah. Even though I will slightly say too, Dan, you, and so was I, but we were both last year as the wings were winging again. Yeah. We're like, you need more. Oh, yeah. I mean, he only had 16 goals. Yeah. And that, seven games, but still, yeah. But I mean, still, right. It could have got 20. Like, I think 20 is the mark for him where I'm like, good job. In 67, if he had had 20. Like if let's bump that up and let's say Patrick Kane had 61 points in 67 games and 20 goals, I'd be like this. That's exactly. That's perfect. Agree. So like he wasn't that far off. But yeah,

I'm with you. We need 20 from Patty King. And now he's another year old or another year closer to death. So, dude, that people do forget that. That objectively, he is closer to death than he was last year. He was on the wigs. Here is the camp where it's not good in my opinion. Okay. The people of Chicago got the blessing. The hockey fans of Chicago got the blessing of watching Patrick Kane. I think I'm going to disagree with this. And Johnny Taze, and it was amazing. And it was so good.

And when Taze was coming back, I remember people being like, I hope he goes to Chicago. And he just said he's going to retire. Do the one day. Retire as a Hawk, amazing. Yeah. But they were like, I hope he goes back to Chicago for that last year. And then he went to Winnipeg, which was actually a homecoming for him and cool. and then was not good.

It wasn't bad, but he was just like, you know, like, whatever. He just couldn't really play. And I am like, if I'm a Chicago fan, I'm like, I'm glad I didn't have to watch Johnny Tays kind of stink. Yeah, I hear you. I'm glad he just kind of stunk on Winnipeg, and I love him for everything.

He's one of my favorite players ever, and he gave me such three cups and such joy. I think I disagree with that. Dude, Patrice Bergeron could come out of retirement right now and play for the Bruins and come out on the ice with a walker. And I would go like this. Yes. I would cheer for him every time he's out there,

but it would make me sad if the Bruins were like floundering and missing a playoff spot because he was a dash 20. And I was like, oh my God. I think the difference though is, and I don't want Chicago fans to get mad at me here because I do think last year they were very exciting at the beginning of the year. Like the Chicago fans at the beginning of the year were like,

we're going to make playoffs. And I was like, you're probably not. But this is great momentum and Bedard looked amazing. I don't think this team's going to make playoffs. And to me, I'm like, so what? If Badaard comes back from this surgery and performs the way I believe he's going to perform, and you get him and Patty Kane connecting on the power play here and there, and they just missed playoffs, I'm like, that was a fucking win like you read about.

I mean, dude, we saw the Buffalo Sabres last year make the playoffs for the first time in, what, was 16 years? And everyone in them mother was trying to go to playoff games, and they were like, no, we need every cent of this money. Like the Blackhawks, you know, they're fine, obviously. But like they, this is going to be a good boost for them in a lot of a ways. And if they miss playoffs and Patrick Kane plays fine, I think it is a colossal win. Okay, I'm not as sold on that, but that's not even guaranteed. Like, they might miss playoffs and he stinks.

There's no, you think that's even remotely possible? I don't think there is any way that this dude, who frankly man get yo money but I don't think Patty Kane is signing a two year deal if he himself feels like his body is like dude I am close to dead agree but I just comes fast right like he had that he had that hiparder that people were like

he might never play again and he's back I know but I'm saying like one tweak and he's like oh and on an injury that's not fair because you know people get hurt all the time people die people die every day but if he's just like oh man I picked up a knock and it slowed me down and he scores 12 goals and the hawks stink. Yeah. Because when he came back on the wings

and he scored that shootout goal in Chicago, and I was like, that was the greatest return. He's like, how are you? This is me. I almost just wanted both sides, Dan.

I wanted the fans to only have their Patrick Kane memories of epic hawk's tenure. And I wanted him to only have his memories of when I was a hawk, I was a fucking golden god. And now he just goes back like, hey, what's up? I think that your take is,

you're doing it out of love. It is. It is a purely complete love. I'm telling you, I think you are, I think you're being too scared. I'm scared. Because like he's only, he's 37.

Like he's not, I can't even get out of bed in the morning. Yeah, but you are a crippling alcoholic who treats your body like a dumpster. And he doesn't. We don't know that. We don't know that.

We don't know that. We don't know that. That's actually fair. But I just, I don't think he is as close to the back of the shed as you think. The other interesting thing I thought from his P.O. And this is also set out of love for him.

Yeah. And I'm sorry, Chicago Hawks fans. He's got three cups. He's the highest scoring American of all time. Like he doesn't need more accolades, surely. And I'm actually going to get into a ring chasing conversation in the second. But I'm slightly surprised.

When he went, he went, Hawks, rags, rags, wings, right? Correct. So when he went to New York, that team was good. That team was a team that people were like, This team is trying to win. Absolutely, yeah, yeah. And remember, it was like they fleeced Chicago because he was like, I will only go to New York

and then that did not go well. Correct. And then Detroit, which is this sounds hilarious now, considering Detroit hasn't made the playoffs for seven years and Eisenman has been fired. So bad. But when he went to Detroit, I remember thinking,

talking with you on the show like, hell yes. Detroit is making a push. This is a great signing. They are going to compete. It's like 10 years, by the way. Yeah, yeah. I guess Eisenman's been seven years,

but like they haven't made it in a long time. he went to the wings to win. You know, I'm not saying he was going to the super team, but he went to the wings to win. Oh, yeah. This, this is, to me, and again, I'm sorry Chicago, feels a little concessiony of like, I'm just going to go play for the Hawks and then retire

with literally zero chance of winning a cup. And then my career's over. Oh, correct. Zero chance. 100% credit. Zero. So I'm like, oh, wow. And no knock.

If you want to go back Chicago, go back to Chicago. But I was like, if I'm Patrick Kane and I don't think I have a little gas in the tank, which we both think he does. I probably would have tried to go somewhere where I'm like, I might take a bid at winning one more time. They might not even make playoffs for two years. I hope they do, but they might not even make playoffs either of these two years,

and then he just retires. That is also very possible. But it's also weird. The ducks making playoffs last year came slightly out of nowhere. Yep. And then they beat the Oilers. And then there was a period when we were there in Anaheim, when they beat Vegas where we were like,

they might go to the Western Commonwealth finals. Yeah. So, like, it can happen quick. But again, when I look at the Ducks roster construction last year, it is so much better than the Blackhawks roster construction. So, yeah, I mean, if the Hawks make the playoffs last year, it is going to take colossal cliff dives by multiple teams. That's not a knock on Chicago. That's just like, you're in a really hard division. It happens. You're in a really hard division.

There's a lot of really good teams right now. It would be a really amazing achievement for the Bacrocks to make playoffs, let alone win the Stanley Cup. Yeah. So, yeah, it is a weird thing. I mean, I don't think it's that weird. I think he signs this deal, and he's like, yeah, cool. You gave me a shitload of money. I'm going to play.

I got $16 million more. And, dude, maybe we don't know this. It's been a minute, right? He's been a free agent for since July 1. Yeah. Maybe he wasn't getting any offers from teams that were actual contenders. So he's like, all right, fuck it. I'll go to Chicago for $8 million.

Yeah. But if he was, I'm kind of surprised that he's essentially signed. and got to never win a cup again. I do. I am, I mean, like, I love Lassick. We both love Bowen Byron. Yeah. But, like, there's stuff I like about this team, dude.

Dude, they're not. Renzel and Lev Shinov on D. I love. We love Frondel. Obviously, we think Bedard's going to have the best year of his career when he comes back from this surgery. I love Oliver Moore. I'm like, and obviously we love Nazar, but who knows?

Maybe we got a lot of big jumps. Well, but big jump would be. be playoffs. Like they can't win. Big jump is like, wow, they might make playoffs. Well, yeah, a little big jump. Yeah. They make playoffs this year and blow everyone's dicks off. Big jump again. And then next year, because of the big jump and playoffs, a bunch of guys are like, I'll sign in Chicago, but then they go, we can't because we have no money because of how much you paid Patrick can. And Bull and Byron. Because everyone said, it doesn't matter. Just pay. It doesn't matter. We got to hit the floor. No, listen, I think Chicago is, we were having

this conversation the other week. I think they're way closer than people think, because I do believe in the, I believe in the big jump. I believe in Connor Bardard, but I agree with you. This, I think this is just like a cool, really awesome homecoming. I think he's going to do well, and I think he will retire a Black Hawk

as they are starting to enter playoffs. Yep, which is cool. I'll give you this, a couple tidbits, a couple, a couple Eichael watch, couple Caner watch things for next year. Yes. Caner has 1,400 points on the nose, which is gas for the Hawks,

or for all those teams. and he is, I would like him to get to the 1500 mark. That'd be cool. He should, but he's been just over 50 the last couple years. And I would like him to do that. I bet he can do that. Me too. You got to stay healthy.

Yeah. And then in, I was actually shocked by this because I was like, oh, he's about to chase down some Hawks records. But he's actually kind of far behind the guys. So in Hawks history, he's third in goals all time, 446, behind Bobby Hall 604. and Stan McKita 541, those feel uncatchable, unless he plays, unless he signs another. No, no, no, those are uncatchable. Those are uncatchable.

And he's second in assists, 779 and points 125. Makita had 926 assists and 1467 points. Both feel uncatchable. Both are uncatchable. He's third all-time games, 1,161 behind McKita, 1,396, uncatchable. But Duncan Keith, 1,192. Which he will get. Which you will break this yet.

Dude, and how funny that text is going to be? Because, like, I bet Keith was like this, got you, bitch. And now Canter signs again for two years. Yeah. And he's like this. Not only did I just get 16 mil, but I'm also coming for that number two spot. You bitch. Yep.

So I want him to catch Keith in games. And even though he can't catch the guys in goals, getting, he's at 446. So he's 54 goals away from 500. Yeah, maybe we get to 1,500 points all time and we get to 500. Hocke's goals. That's my big, I really want, in the next two years, Patrick K. needs to score 54 goals. Which I think he can do. That's really fun. 500 Hock's goals. It's a lot, though. He needs two big years. He needs two ceiling years. Like what his current ceiling is. Yeah. Where I'm like, that's the best we got. I love that. Christ, dude. He hasn't scored.

Wow, that's actually crazy. What was last time he scored 30? Last time he scored 30 was 2019, 2020. He scored 33. Then he scored 15 and 56. Then he scored 26. But That's, then it was 2116, 5, 20, 21, 16. And I do need two 27 goals. He said, so. No, we need two, 20, or, yeah, yeah. So it's going to be tough, but I really want him to get 500 goals. This is the art of Connor Bardard.

That's what I'm saying. So get the keeper going, Kainer watch, 54 goals. And I'm saying yes, Dan. I'm taking the hit because he's going to be rejuvenated. And they're, they need them, they need them to score. So give me 54 goals from Patrick Kane in the next. two years, 50 mark, 500 mark, 50, 100 points, 500 Chahawks' goals, and more games than Keith. Boom.

Done. That should be pretty sick. Incredible. You want to take an ad break? Yeah, let's take an ad break. Let's talk about BetMGM for a second. You know that we love BetMGM more than anything over here in Empty Netters, and I want you to feel that love.

I want you to enjoy the love and the warmth and the joy and the happiness that I feel. You deserve that. I deserve it. You deserve it. So if you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use that bonus code Netters. It's N-E-T-T-E-R-S when you sign up, and you get up to a $1,500 new player offer on your first wager. Here's how it works. All you have to do is download the bet MGM app, and then you sign up using that bonus code netters.

And then you just deposit $10, at least $10, and place your first wager on any game. Literally anything you want, put at least $10, boom, make the wager. If that bet wins, cash, you won your bet, good job. If that bet loses, you receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets. then you get access to second chance promos, odds boost tokens, same game parlayes, so much action cooking up with BetMGM. You get all of it and you get the new player offer. All you have to do is sign up and use that code netters.

It's incredible. BetMGM, make it legendary. All right, now we're going to do some hockey on the court. Ooh. We're going to talk basketball. Dude, I'm more excited to talk about this than I am anything in today's episode. Me too. So the...

I really hope all of our listeners aren't pissed that we're talking about. talking basketball but here's the thing the court goes on on top of the ice also it's the off season and a lot of rinks our listeners have to listen to us talk about a lot of different things basketball surely the least of their concerns i was going to say sean but i'm talking about chris not getting haircuts about him not showering about him not using the same towel yeah months at a time like surely basketball is the thing that's more closely related to hockey that you are correct but i don't know this might be the straw that broke the camel's back People might be like this basketball on this hockey podcast.

Yep. No, sir. Well, the court goes on top of the ice. It sure does. A lot of rinks, at a lot of arenas. And including this one. We put the ice down. Caner.

Now we're putting the court down. Yes. We are following protocol here. Correct. This is standard procedure. And LeBron James has chosen to join the Philadelphia 76ers. That deserves to be talked about on any sports podcast. I agree.

And it's also the biggest sports story of the summer. Yes. All right, post World Cup, I guess. Yes. And we talked to all about World Cup. We're doing our job. And, Sean, you aren't a big sports ball guy, but I'm sure LeBron choosing the Sixers came across your desk.

I'm sure you heard about that. I've heard whispers. Yeah, see? Like, objectively, this is not the first moment you've heard about this. No, this is not the first moment I've heard about this. That's what I'm saying. It's a big deal. LeBron James to the Philadelphia 76ers.

I have so many things to say about this. Okay. What would you like to talk about first? I would first like to talk about Philly fans moving the goalposts. Oh, okay. So first of all, this is a moment of celebration. I don't care if you hate LeBron.

I have spent many years of my life hating LeBron until several years ago I bet than me. I was like, you are the greatest basketball player to ever live. He's not my goat, if that makes a lot. sense, but I do think he is the greatest basketball player to ever live. I don't know if that makes sense, but I will take MJ, but I think LeBron is the greatest basketball player. So I think, and I'm not trying to...

We're not, we can't get into that discussion. Okay. But I bent the knee, and I was like, this man is undeniably amazing. This is a moment of celebration. If he had signed with the Celtics, I would have been like, holy shit, that's unbelievable. Which, by the way, I actually think that would have been the coolest thing for him to do, because I believe genuinely that the only fan base in the NBA that objectively still tries to be like,

I fucking hate that loser, is Boston fans, and they would have sucked him off immediately the second he signed. It would have been the coolest heel move by LeBron to be like this, and I've got you now, too. But Dan, I actually think he fucked up because did you see during this process, his comments, where the only team in the league he wouldn't sign for is Boston? Correct.

And I was like, you're a bitch. I disagree completely. I think he could. That, it might be the only integrity he has left. is his hate for Boston. Like, it truly is like he... Yeah, like he was like... I was talking about every team

and fuck you guys, I hate you. Yeah. So, this is a moment of celebration and a Philly fans who celebrated you deserve to fucking locks running around shirtless in his apartment being like, oh my God. Yeah. Oh, and I'm like, yeah, that's how you should respond.

Yeah. However, what I am seeing a lot now is a lot of... lot of Philly fans in that moment screaming, locks included, it's championship or bust. And now, come Monday morning, a lot of people are on the bird app. They're on their shows, talking this and that. And they're going, well, I mean, it's, you know, it's, he's like 41. He's, is he, is he 42? I don't know. Let me see. They're like, he's in his 40s. He's on a vet minimum deal. Like, this isn't. LeBron, LeBron.

He's 41. And I'm like, you're not allowed to do that. You traded Paul George's Albatross, horrendous contract, and you got Jalen Brown and LeBron James from it. You, I don't care what the fucking sports book odds say, it is championship or bust for this team. And you are not allowed to go, well, no, no, no, no.

Yeah. Like, buy in, guys. Fully buy in. And it's okay if you bust. A lot of us bust. I bust all the time. You cannot. I'm always busting it.

Incredible. You can't. It's a sign of a healthy body. You cannot run around and be like, oh my God, LeBron J. Jalen Brown, Tyrese Maxie, VJ.J. H.combe, Joe L.M.B. And then go, I hope we have a good season. Yeah.

Like, it is championship or bust. That is good. Don't then try to say the, oh, well, he's old. Oh, it's a vet. No, no, no, no. Embrace it and understand that you are going to get shit-talked if you lose. That is okay, because if you win, you get to ram it down everyone's throats. But you cannot have both.

Yeah. Dude, this is also a Portnoy thing where he goes, he's like, that is, that's how this works. Like, you get to, if you win, you get to brag and grave dance for a year. Yeah. And if you lose, then you have to suck it up and take all the beatings. because there's no middle ground. I'm like, I'm just here to have fun. This is fucking nom, dude.

And correct. Like, what are you talking about? Also, I loved the resurfacing of that Embed stream when they, it's like right after the C's one. And they're talking about Tatum, kind of like compared to Embed. And they're like, Tatum's won a ring. And Embedd goes, he's got a super team. If I have an off night, we get blown out. Like, it's easy to be Jason Tatum.

And I'm like, first of all, that. Celtics team was not a super team, you fucking clown. Second of all, now here you go. You have the superest of super teams I've ever seen on earth. So same with not just Philly fans, same with Duel Mb. Either you win the title this year and you get to go, see, I just needed my super team, which first of all, you shouldn't need a super team to win, but fine. And second of all, if you lose, you now have to wear all of that forever.

Yeah. You got everybody and then lost. So I'm with you on that big time. How much of a factor do you think the fact that Caleb Love and Dean Wade are on this team played into a bronze decision? Like he saw Wade on the back of Jersey and Love on the back of Jersey and was like, I've done that before. And one. I did that in one. I'm just saying.

Yep. I think it's huge. People are posting the graphics of all the players on this team. And I don't think enough people are talking about Caleb Love and Dean Wade. I think they might be the two most important pieces on this team. I think so, too, just for morale. Just saying. Do you think he's won a ring everywhere he's gone?

Every time he goes somewhere, they win. That is an actual fact. Yep. Except for he's Cleveland first in. Doesn't matter because he came back and finished the job. Yeah, yep. So history is on their side of winning a ring here. Do you think where LeBron goes, he brings championships?

I want to ask, because this is what I was talking about with Kane earlier. I want to have a conversation about ring chasing. I think I've spoken about this I don't think yeah maybe you have I don't know why people get so mad I don't get it at all dude like don't you want to win I don't get it at all

I want I want to go to a terrible team like honestly because you know what I find so funny here's the deal if if you are a full on cell sword and you go to a different team every two years And you're really good.

I don't think we've ever seen anything like that. I think in the NHL, the best example of ring chasing that I can really think of is Marion Hosa. No disrespect to Marion Hosa. I love Marion Hosa. But he had that period where he was like, he would join a team. They would lose in the final. And then he would get traded to the other team. They would lose.

And then he eventually wound up in Chicago and they won. And it was like, nice job. Yep. But he is like an all-star player that had a really funny. because like wasn't he on pit and lost to Detroit and then went to Detroit and lost a pit and then he went to Chicago. And even that's like barely ring chasing because he's so sick. A team was like we want this guy.

Yes, but like that is that is ring chasing. Like Jerome McGinlow was ring chasing at the end. I don't give a fuck. Yep. I want you to get your ring, especially if you're that good of a player. I look at players who ring chase and when I, at the end of it, if they get

one, we all love the story. Yeah. I mean, Taylor Hall was not doing this at all, but how often were we talking about Taylor Hall during this Carolina run being like, I'm so happy that Taylor Hall is getting his ring. Yeah. We talk about it with Brent Burns. When Chicago or Colorado loses, we were like, fuck, Burnsy. Like, we want

him to get a ring. Everyone loves it. And when they do achieve it, it's amazing. When they don't like a Jerome McGinnla, for example, I'm not like, ah, that looks so lame. I'm like, that was electric. Yeah. It was awesome seeing Jerome McGillow playing for the abs and the Bruins and the penguins. Like, it was,

it's objectively cool when these fan bases get these legendary players and it sucks when they don't get it but I'm like at least you went for it. I look at a fucking Dame Lillard and I'm like this, you died in Portland dude. Like what are you doing? Why did you do that? Especially when they get older. Like everyone you just listed is an older player and LeBron is 41.

He's old. I think it's easier to hate on the Durant ring chase because he was in the peak of his powers going to a 73 entity. You go, okay. This is ridiculous. But when someone's 41 and they go, oh. You went to a team that's already good. I'm like, yeah, dude.

Sorry. I didn't want to go to, I don't even know the sucks to the NBA. Like, I saw someone being like, I mean, he went to like the second Jalen Brown showed up. He goes there. I was like, yeah. No shit. Because like all the people talking about Cleveland, no disrespect to Cleveland. Like I just, listen, I know they're a good team, but I was like, I don't think Cleveland's that good.

And like, he already won in Cleveland. I know it's his home and all that bullshit. But I'm like, why? What the fuck is the point of LeBron at 41? going to any team that is not a top three contender in the league. This is his best. This team was by far his best chance to it. By far.

There is no point. Like, if he didn't sign here, I would have hoped he signed in Miami or in New York. Those were the only teams that made sense to me. So I'm like, of course do this. Of course. My other two points on this are one, the dude, if and when the 76ers win a championship, not only is Brad Stevens fired. but Brad Stevens should be disbarred.

He can never have a job in basketball again. And the entire front office of the Boston Celtics should be fired. And Danny did a great job explaining, like, this is the new CBA or whatever. It's like, this is going to happen to a lot of teams where, like, you're going to get fucked and you're just going to have to eat a different, or, you know, lose a player, eat it, whatever, whatever. But it is insane that in the East, within reason, the Nick. and the Sixers are probably the two biggest rivals of the Boston Celtics. And you've lost to the Knicks when you frankly shouldn't have.

Or you lost to the Sixers when you definitely shouldn't have. You lost the Knicks two years ago, right? And you have watched the Knicks win a championship. And now you've got like this, take Jalen Brown and subsequently get LeBron James because of it. Yep. You are, this is like, the Celtics are so dead if the Sixers win. It is unbelievable. Like, Brad Stevens is fired on the spot if they win.

I, yeah, like, so much depends on what he does, because you're right, we had to get rid of Jalen Brown. But the idea that there was no other option to have him than Philly descent him is so crazy. And dude, I, this is my, this was my next point. What is your, how are you going to root for this to shake out? As a, as a like, obviously you're a Celtics fan. You're not the biggest basketball fan, neither am I. But as a Celtics fan, as a Boston fan, I love the Celtics. What goes through your masochistic, my masochistic brain, too,

about what you want to happen with now that this super team exists. I, my current situation with the Celtics is I do not see a way forward. Yeah. I don't. Like, I love fast P.P. I, you know, decent little pick. But like, Paul George is a corpse parading around in a NBA uniform. Yeah.

I think, like, the Celtics are a first round loss. And I don't know what their plan is. I don't know if they have a plan. Yeah. But like Derek White's great, Pritchard's great. Tatum is obviously a top five player in the NBA, in my opinion. they're not winning shit. So it is literally just about who do you lose to

and who winning is the least brutal thing. I loved the Knicks this year. Yeah. I actually, dude, I was talking about this the other day. I do think the Knicks winning a championship should have been this like, that is one of the most all-time moments ever and I can't wait for the city to just be a party for the rest of time.

And I actually do, I'm not trolling. I do believe that the World Cup, and now this LeBron News, has overshadowed that. Yeah, that's a fair take. I was going to say, I wonder if it was just because we're old now and things matter less. No, dude, I have a lot of New York Knicks fans out here, and I barely hear them talking about. I would be, I wouldn't stop talking about it if I were a New York Knicks fan. And, like, they've kind of been cucked by the World Cup and Argentina being cheaters. Yeah, yeah.

But it's like, that is a factor. So I don't know. Like I think I want New York to go back to back because Wemby's a villain now. Oh, you know what? I would have loved to have seen LeBron go to Minnesota. Because I love the wolves. I love Ant. And like if he had gone there and made them better and made them win, that would have been sick.

I wouldn't like that. Ant's two alpha. Ant is too like this is my team. How do you think M. Bid's going to handle it? Because like this is LeBron's team now. Wherever LeBron goes, it is his team. Well, that's what he's saying. I won't touch the ball.

that much, whatever, whatever, but it's just the fan, the frenzy around it is going to change. Okay, so I have two uh-ohs. Well, let me say how would I think about the Super 2nda? Because that's, I was asking you, I legitimately, dude, I root, so many people now.

Unless you are Philly, the narrative is I want them to lose. That's what I'm hearing. Philly fans, of course, want to win. Everyone else is like, God, they're the villains now. Ben Barrett was like, I'm going to, I'm going to enter a generational hate watch, which was very funny. I love that. I, in my twisted brain, literally become fans of them.

I'm like, I hope they win. Because it's just, it's so crazy that this has happened that I'm like, they have to win now. And I also hope the Celtics miss the playoffs because I don't want to have to get steamrolled by these guys in the first round. I'm just like, leave me alone. Yeah. Miss playoffs.

I hope Philly wins. I mean, it's a very weird, like, I love Jalen Brown so much. And I'm like, I'd love to see Jalen win again. But then I'm like, do I want to see Embed win? I think Embedd is such a clown. Bumbumbies. So, like, I don't know. But here are my two, uh-ohs.

Number one, we got windy out here reporting that LeBron is apparently going to live in New York City and commute to games via helicopter. What? Dude, you got to be. Did we learn nothing? That's your guy, dude. Did we learn nothing? That's literally your guy. Truly, truly.

Truly. That is the biggest. tempting fate I've ever heard in my life. Yeah. What are you talking about? He, because that means even for the road games, he, I presume, will fly with the team. So he has to helicopter to the Philly airport to then fly with the team. Like he won't fly alone from New York.

Are you flying to practice, brother? No, he's helicoptering to practice. They don't practice. I just said flying. Like, the helicopters fly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they do. They do.

Like, what, what are you talking about? This cannot happen. This cannot happen. It's crazy decision. It's crazy. Yep. And he just loves the city, dude. Here's my other one, dude.

No one's talking about this. I was listening to a part of my take and someone, they were talking about like this, like, bumps people down the lineup. And so I think someone said that this might be bad for Edgecombe. Like it might like stunt his development because now he's like a fifth option or whatever. And Max, on part of my take was like, he's going to learn from one of the greatest players. of all time. Have we ever talked about this, dude? LeBron, wherever LeBron goes,

he brings championships. Also, wherever LeBron goes, he destroys careers. Oh, okay. Dude, LeBron goes to Miami. Dwayne Wade's knees blow up. Chris Bosch gets blood clots, which is awful. I'm not making a joke about that. It's terrible. What happened

is the scariest shit in the world. But, like, he's forced to retire because of it. Yep. He then goes to Cleveland, wins a ring with Kyrie, and then Kyrie loses his goddamn mind. Becomes a flat earther and now like one of the biggest cancers in the NBA. Goes to

the Lakers, Anthony Davis, who was supposed to be the next one. No one even knows where he is. I don't know where he is. People are like this. Is he in Washington? We saw him. Remember we saw him in Utah. Anthony Davis was literally supposed to be the next one. He's just like

no one even knows. He's playing for the Wizards? I don't know. yet Luca Luca, Luca becomes fatter than he's ever been in his life. But then, but then he, Luca's, power shield pushed back.

Like, Lucas got so trim that LeBron had to leave L.A. Yeah. Literally, he was like, okay, I can't fat him. Dude, I like to think he was, he was mean girling him. Yeah, he was just giving him Calteen bars, dude.

I'm just saying, dude, LeBron goes places and leaves terror in his wake with what would, like, people are like, one of the greatest stars in the NBA career over, career over, career over. So it's gone dead. Well, I'm looking at like Maxie.

I'm looking at Jalen. I'm like, guys, be careful. Sell the cards. You might win a ring, but it might be, it might come at a cost. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it will. You will win a ring.

What did it cost, dude? Everything. Bronnie's NBA career. Everything. Dead. He, the Sixers should literally have two lineups. Like three of those, two or three of those guys

should just agree to not start instead of being like, we're going to start all five of you. We have a super team. I'm like, that doesn't work. So what you should do is go, we start, and it's Embede and Maxie, and whatever. And then the backup unit is LeBron, Edgecombe, and Jalen. And you'll know, you'll never lose.

I would dead ass, not, I'm being so serious. I would literally not play Joel Embed until, like, fucking February. I'd look at them and go like this. You're not playing, dude. Yeah. We don't need you at all. I'm sorry. Just like, please just be healthy.

At all. Unbelievable. Nice basketball talk. That was great. I hope we get, I hope we get the, we keep saying that the NHL is like 10 years behind the NBA and everything. Yeah. And I hope we head here. I hope we're on the way here.

I hope McDavid and Matthews go together to Utah. To Utah. Yeah. And then we go, holy shit. That would be sick. That would be sick. All right. Now even more nonsense.

I mean, listen, dude, it's the offseason. But this is great. Sean, we've all seen The Odyssey finally. Good. Thank God. It's great. I... Did you actually think that?

I did. I have some important... Look who's coming in. Zee-J! Zach, come sit right here. Come sit right there. Is that microphone on? It is now.

Wow. I got a text from them, and it just said, come to end. And all it said was, come in, we have a surprise. This is great because we just finished a segment on LeBron. Okay. And this is a perfect time to have a quick break. Okay.

Because I have something for the two of you. Wow. Okay. Holy shit, dude. Wow. For listeners at home, Wow. I have just given Zach and Chris a bag of prawn cocktail chips.

Crisp's to be specific. And, Sean, you like that. potato brand? Yeah. Where did these come from? Don't worry about that. We did a little chip ranking. I did a chip ranking and I said that

prawn cocktail is in my top three flavor of chips and I got absolutely sewered by these two because of that. It's like a popular one though. It's not. What? Prong cocktail is kind of popular though. Is it not? It's not here.

Okay. Well, think of this is a Dan Ash chip. Like if you were to look at a chip and you go, what describes Dan Powers? Which is very fair. But I want you two to open those right now and eat them. And I want to hear you. you admit to me that you go, wow, this is a really good chip. I just want you to hear that this says, set deep in Ulster's countryside is Tato Castle, where Tato have been making some of the

world's best-loved crisps and snacks since 1956. Correct. Using the best local ingredients, Mr. Tato selects the finest specially grown spuds, gently cooking them until crisp and golden, finally in a secret part of the Tato Castle. Our crisps are given their special flavor, ensuring you get irresistible crisps every time. The secret is in the... the flavor. How about that? It's irresistible. These, these, these christs were made in a castle. That's what I'm taking. And he went like this. What if I could make the chip taste like a shrimp cocktail? Yes. You love shrimp cocktail. I know, but I want, I want to

eat it. I don't want the chip. Oh. ASMR. There you go, guys. I also, this is like, if any chip would be made in a castle, that would be one that Dan wants. Like, that checks out so much. Right, ready? Yep. Wait, to be...

This is your first prawn cocktail crisp, yeah. That's not bad. Right? But it doesn't taste like shrimp at all. At all. Yeah. Neither do ketchup chips. It's just like a barbecue chip.

It's just a delicious crisp. Dan is eating a lie of a chip. Okay, so... Don't get into the semantics of what it tastes like or what it doesn't taste like. Just tell me if you're eating a chip right now and going, enjoy this. This is a good chip. So here's why you're right. It's a delicious chip. And 100% anyone that tries this chip would go, this chip is good. Maybe not in everyone's top five, but anyone that has this in their top five, I am now fine with now that I have tasted it.

Yes. What I am still upset about is it tastes literally nothing like what it says. And they are doing themselves a disservice because guys like ZG and I, when someone goes, try a prawn cocktail chip, I go, no, that sounds horrible. And that's why people like me are so important in this world. Because you'll eat a chip like this? Yeah, and then I get to share them with you. They don't even have, like, they have the cast on the bag, but there's not even shrunk on the bag.

Look at what Sean has pulled up right now. Tato has like literally a theme park. Dude, because it's Poteo and he's the man, dude. Yeah, it's Mr. Potato. Yeah. This is our version of Disneyland. Wait, this is a, this is a Sean chip? Are you telling me that Dan was secretly in Sean's best place. This is, well, I don't know where Dan got got these, but this, uh, Tato Park is like,

it has like the saddest zoo you've ever seen in your life. Uh, disagree, Sean. The saddest you've ever seen in your life is actually in New York Beach, Maine in our hometown. It is actually horrendous that they allow animals to live there. Yeah, I also, this is incredible to me, because I, when I heard cocktail, assumed that there was some sort of shrimp, like prawn cocktail sounds like shrimp to me. Yeah. That's exactly what it is. Which it is, but there's no shrimp on the bag. It's not a shrimp. It's just

literally shrimp colored. That's all of it is. So we used to, when I think of like Tron cocktail, there's another, is it made by Tato? It might be made by Tato.

I think of Wockers. Walkers is the Prong cocktail crisp that I'm most familiar with. But I do love Tato. These are really good. They're really good. Yeah, they all taste like this one.

Yeah. Walkers and Tato taste very similar. Wow. I mean, dude. Why can't you just let me have this? Why can't they just, why do they have to name it like all dressed

is, it tastes similar to me at these two and that's cool because I'm like this, I don't know what all dressed means, but I'm like that kind of makes sense for this mystery flavor that is good. They could have come up with a description of this mystery flavor which is good

but instead they named it a thing that is not it this at all. You know what I mean? I was like if they had called this Tato Land chips, Tato, Tato, Tato, Tito, Tato jizz. I'd be like amazing. That's awesome. Yeah, but instead they went like this.

Here's a food item that has a flavor. Sean. And then we're calling this chip that even though it tastes something like. Listen, I hear you. But like, it's delicious. It is. And it's really good chip. It's my favorite crisp.

It's unbelievable. But also of the people in this room, of the four of us in this room, if you were to be presented with a bag that said it was made in a castle. Yep. It had nothing to do with the exact item that it was. and it's much fancier than the others, but it tastes really good. Who would you go?

That describes that person. And I would go, Dan. As we all would get. As we all would. I would go, this is a Dan Ash Day and ask you. I am going to wear that with honor because it is correct. It's 100% correct.

Sean, I think we all need to go to Tadoland. I think we, Natters needs to, the company needs to pay for us. That would be so fun. Like us at Tadoland doing a video would be numb. Could you imagine the Tadoland sponsorship? Like, that would be... If we get Netters a brand deal with Tato, that would be fucking...

That actually now feels doable now that you say that. Like, we need to get Tato on the phone. Yeah. Could you imagine... I mean, we're going to make a clip of this moment. Tato vending machine and the fucking entry. We can... Surely we can get Tato.

We don't know. I mean, Tato could be... They could be big business. Take a quick ad break to say that deep inside Ulster's countryside and Tato Castle, So we've been making some of the best crisps since 1956. Boom. Use Code Grant for 10% off. Wow.

Wow. That's a big deal. That's a huge thing. Well, hey, listen, I know you've got a lot of work to do, but I want you to take that bag with you. And I want you to enjoy those. Wow. I'm glad that you guys have now had prawn cocktail crisps. We're going to find those in the trash later.

I will. I actually will eat them. Truly, that would rip my heart out of my chest. No, I wouldn't do that. Take those with you to the NX. Yes. And then take this one up to Sean so he can try some of that. Beautiful.

Yeah, I want to say, I'll try it. This is Dan proven evidence that Dan feeds the editors. We do get fed here and supported. Would laugh at all the first meal I've had in three weeks. Back to your cage, Grant. Back to your cage. Oh, my God. Been living off a potato crisp and low root beer.

Take those for a spin, Sean. You've had them, right? Yeah. Yeah. These are good. They're great. It's amazing to me that a country that went through a potato famine. is also like I'm all in on still having a potato land.

Has a dude, that's how you take ownership of the moment. Yeah. Don't let it control you, control it. So good. Put the script, huh? It's unbelievable. All right. So we saw the Odyssey.

We saw The Odyssey. And here's my biggest question. Or I guess I'll say this about myself first. I, the Trojan War is something that I legit forget is fictionalized. Yes. It just seems like a thing that I'm like, that happened. That happened in ancient Greece. Like ancient Roman history is crazy.

This is one of those moments where I think a lot of people went and saw this movie. And with all of the talk around it, I think a lot of people are embarrassingly being like, thought that happened. Yeah, right. So I'm like, oh, yeah. It's like, and that happens to me with dragons even. Like, sometimes I'm like, yeah, dragons were like dinosaurs. It was like 65 million years ago.

And they're like, Chris, there are no dragons. And I'm like, I actually saw something very recently about T-Rexes. They could breathe fire. Well, no, it was like, this person was like talking about a T-Rex and, you know, showing the rendered images of what we think T-Rexes look like and the fossils. And this person was like, do you honestly think there was this massive apex predator with teeny little arms? Those are the initial bones of wings. T-Rex were dragons. And I was like, this is a tinfoil hat theory that I will die head first.

Aren't they like chickens? Yeah, yeah. Aren't they just giant chickens? But chickens have wings. Yep. And I was like, I'm all in if you want to do this. I'm in.

I'm in. I'm in. So I kind of like forget that it's not real. But okay, it's a fictional eye. And there's by the way, because I did a deep dive last night, there are a lot of historical things that are like in modern day Turkey.

There was this massive city like gorgeous and that would be Troy. You know, so they're like there's a high probability that there was a Troy. fought over it. You know, it's the, it's the horse part of it. That's like, yeah, that was made up, we think. Uh, but there is source material, right? Like, this is a Homer's thing. It's like a poem, really, but like there's a thing. And then we're, we're adapting movies into that. So I got rattled in the audience. I know you have some information about this. I'm just saying this to you that I saw Troy, which I love all those years ago and, and benchmark things happen.

Like Menelaus gets killed. Does that? he say his name, Menelaus. Menelaus gets killed. Helen escapes with Paris. And then I watch the Odyssey and they're like, Menelaus is here, is fine. And Helen, he got Helen back. And I'm like, wait, dude, which what, how do the, how does Troy and the Odyssey have differing set of facts? And Dan was like, well, there's another rewrite of the Odyssey that Nolan, you, blah, blah, blah, but I'm just like, I'm, this infuriated me. It's not based off of Homer's, um, It's based off like Emily Wilson or something. From like 2015 or something.

Yeah, 17, I think. So it's, I mean, I'm guessing it has a lot of play. I don't remember, I remember the Iliad much more from school. I don't remember the Odyssey very well. In the Odyssey, Milaneus survives the Trojan War, reunites with Helen and lives out peacefully life as King of Sparta. That's in, in hers? That's in the Odyssey. In Homer's the House.

Interesting. So I'm like, what is going on? Well, it's a work of fiction. and we've decided we can change it to how we want the movies to look. Like everyone speaks with American accents. Yeah, fair. But I just think if in the Harry Potter HBO show,

the dungeon troll kills Hermione in season one and they go, sick. It's a work of fiction. I don't know why you picked that one moment, but dude, I would actually fucking, no, I would go, that is the most bold the decision anything has ever done in the history of cinema and television and like it is not far off

from what these stories are doing they're being like this yeah this is one of the most famous poems of all time i'm just going to fucking change it he's dead i'm all right no he isn't go for it because i think withering heights did that a little bit i haven't really seen many of them but i heard i saw the new one i heard it was um Greta's little women did that in a big way which i actually loved i thought the changes were it was like a really nice story moment yeah i don't think being like change to the source material is indicative of it being bad or good. It's like everything is its own thing. So like when you adopt something, it's like you need to change massive parts of it anyway just to fit the medium that you're fitting it into. So it's like how it's always been a weird

argument when people use how close an adoption is to the source material as an indication that it is good or bad. Yeah. It's like I think it's like it just let it do it. I think one of the most famous ones is no country, right? I mean, they, the Cohen brothers adapted no country for old men. And they, when they won the Oscar, they were like, we literally just transcribed the book into a screenplay. And it's many people think it is a top 10 movie all the time. Yeah.

But there are, I mean, that would actually be a fun deep dive for us three to go on of what do we think are the best adaptation book to film or TV that like really changed it. Uh, the Shutter Island change is brilliant. Uh, yes. You don't know the original. The original you just... Careful! Spoilers!

I would, that would devastate me. I know that's an old movie, but still, that would devastate me. I'll read it. I've seen the movie a lot. No, no, we can tell you. We'll talk about it after the show. Yeah. But it's a very cool change.

I didn't even know it came from a book. Oh, yeah. Um, the prestige book is quite different. Yes. And that movie is... Did you have anything else to talk about with The Odyssey? Yes. Okay.

I just wanted, didn't want us to get too off track. My biggest thing, and I think this is in the Emily adaptation, but if it is, I'm fuming mad at her. And if it isn't, I'm fuming mad at Nolan. Dude, when they go in, I'm watching The Odyssey and they go, oh, here's Agam... They're like, I'm learning how... Spoilers, by the way, if you haven't seen the Odyssey. How Agamemnon dies. Like, he's, like, they meet him in Hades and he's like, this is what happened to me.

And he's like, yeah, my wife killed me, Helen's twin sister. And I'm like, okay, so the most famous hot chick in literature history who launched, who launched 10, has a literal identical twin. What in the flying fuck? Because that's not in homers. So whoever added that, and I love Christopher Nolan, but if it was you, then fuck you. Either Emily or Chris, that is the most tapped plot point I've ever heard when they're like this. The entire premise, the inciting incident of this epic is that.

this chick is so hot we now have to go fight and she has an identical. It turns out there's another one just right over here. I was like, are you fucking high, dude? I couldn't sleep the second night when they were like, Helen had a twin. I was like, okay. Yeah, I don't love that part either. I'm very with you on that. Mind-blowing, dude.

Where do you have it, Sean, roughly? You don't have to give me in order, but in your Nolan power ranking. Ooh, I don't. Oh, I think that. it's it might be in the top five it's not my number one yeah that's for sure it's probably not my number two i say the highest that it might come to is number three okay which is i mean they're all fantastic yeah yeah agree so it's like that's no slight towards the odyssey i thought it was a fantastic film um yeah i'd say maybe maybe number three let me pull up wow all the nolan films are you because

you are you a history nolan guy like do you do you enjoy dunkerkenophenheimer or are you a mind fuck I know what, I like Duncirk. Like I like all of Nolan's films, but Dunkirk, I don't think, is in my top five. Okay. Because I'm, dude, I am in no particular order. I'm such a mind-fuck Nolan guy that, uh, inception, prestige, interstellar, uh, dark night, Batman begins even, and Memento. I was going to say Memento.

I was going to say Memento. Probably in my six in some capacity. Then I never saw the following or insomnia, so I'll take those out. but then you start getting into the history stuff. I think Darknet Rise is actually better. I was one of the people that kind of shit on Dark Night Rise is at first, but it's still sick. But then, like, Odyssey's pretty low for me is where I'm headed.

I don't have my exact number yet, but I didn't hate the movie, but I was just like, okay, I said this is Dan already, Sean, but I almost left it feeling like I left Avatar One, which was, that was so awesome, genuinely. I was like, what an awesome experience and what a spectacle and what an accomplishment. I didn't love that story, but wow, I had a great time. That's kind of I felt leaving Odyssey. I was like, okay, I won't go harp on this too long.

I don't understand why people don't like the humans and Avatar. I know that the movie tries really hard to make us not like them. Yeah. But I'm fucking one of them. It's like, what am I supposed to do? It's like, oh, well, we need this like rare material that's underneath the hugging tree so we can save humanity back home. home and it's like oh well we have a species trader

who just wants to fuck the blue cat lady so he like dooms all of humanity back on earth there probably astrology freaks over there too dude you know yeah and we're supposed to side with our species being doomed yeah I'm so with you dude I think

maybe the most insulting thing that James Cameron has ever done to me personally is name that material in the first movie unobtainium that is like You've got to be shitting me with that name. It is the least creative thing of all time. Realistically, Avatar is about a selfish dude who wants his legs back.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude. Good point. I don't blame. You know what? He was promised his legs back. The guy was like, hey, I'm going to see to it. When you get back to Earth, you're going to get your legs back.

And you remember, he literally, that's the exact line to. He goes, I'm a see to it that you get your legs back. And I'm like, nice, dude. But he's already got his legs with the avathe. Dude, I put on fire and ash the other night. Because I was like, maybe I'll watch this. Have you seen it? I've watched it for like 20 minutes.

I was like this is horrible, so I just turned it off. But I forgot that, and I've seen too, but I forgot that that mean guy. Homeboy's back. And he's got a kid. He's also a blue guy. And he's got a kid. Oh, yeah, that's his kid. Oh, man, dude, you got like the scar still.

Sean, if you want to watch Avatar that is a less, or where the internal struggle is not as easy because we're talking about blue aliens, watch Dances with Wolves or Pocahontas or The Last Samurai? Last of the Mohicans. Dude, I think, or, sorry. No, it's okay. It's okay. It was an anecdote. I'll tell you later. This is what's crazy that I've been like trying to express to people. I do think that there's been a lot of hype about the Odyssey because of the spectacle,

which it deserves. Agree. And I am like, I've seen it three times now. I've spent nine hours of my life watching The Odyssey. I tried to explain to people the first time I watched it, I was alone. I was alone two times. But I legitimately, I was getting distracted from the story by every shot. Like there were times where I was just looking at it in IMAX and I was going, how the fuck did they do this?

And I wasn't paying attention to the movie. Like that's how genuinely miraculous. And this is, we've lost that in theaters a lot with the advent of CGI and stuff. It's like, you go see, the audience knows you can do anything now with computers. So it kind of becomes a question of like, what don't you do? Yeah. And so when you go see like a Marvel movie or something and you know it was all filmed, it was all made inside a computer and it was all filmed against a green screen, it's like none of the spectacles actually wow you. And they have like, you know, planets colliding into each other and crazy things like that. And none of it is at all interesting. But with this, when they're like just, you know,

setting sail, like they're just climbing the boats and like setting sails and the mass and the storm. It's like, you know that that was all real and it creates that awe for the spectacle. Sean, there's that scene where the dolphins jump out and everyone's pointing to that because Nolan has talked about it. He's like, that just happened. And it was awesome. And obviously we put it in the movie. Yeah. And there's just a lot of really lovely articles that are like, this is why practical shots are worth it because something can happen.

Yeah. And I love that take. I bring this up as to say, I love that. movie and I genuinely think it is my ninth favorite Nolan movie. Wow. That's how good Nolan is. Yeah. Like I loved that movie. I saw it three times in a week. I'll say this because I said this to you, but I think you resonated with a little bit. I almost thought, Sean, it's, uh, especially when Nolan goes history, I find that he zooms in so aggressively on a thing, a moment in time like Dunkirk. Get them off the beach.

Yeah. Oppenheimer. Like, this trial happened. Like, yeah. And this movie is so big, or the story is so big that I'm almost like,

ah, I, you know what? Actually, here's my take. I legitimately wish Nolan made the Odyssey a trilogy and was able to be like, oh, wow. Because the third act of that movie was my favorite,

like Odysseus getting back and being in disguise, so I was like, this is actually really fun. But it went pretty quick. And then all the checkpoints of the journey home almost felt like checkpoints where it was just like, trouble, immediate solve, trouble immediate solve, trouble, like something would happen. I turned him into pigs, just kidding their back, let's go. You know, we never lived in any of those things long enough for me to feel any stakes because

I was like, okay, just get out of it and then go to the next thing, you know? Oh, here's the sirens. Okay, leave. Like, I almost wish it was like, we went harder on him because he's so good at that. Studios would love you. Yeah. Because you have three times a ticket sales. 100% for the same concept. Do you ever see that picture where it's like, it's a picture of a bookshelf and it's like Lord of the Rings, two towers, return of the king, and then it's like three movies. And then it's like The Hobbit.

Three movies. Crazy. How did that happen? But we should have done that with this. Yeah. The Odyssey trilogy. Or just have one nine-hour movie. Yeah, which I also would have seen.

I got into a, but we can move on from The Odyssey here, but my last point is I got into a big, I mean, Chris, Chris Nolan is my, I hate saying this now because I've, you know that I felt this way for decades. My last executive job in my office. office. I had, shout out my buddy Teddy, bought me these beautiful custom made prints of all eight.

At the time, he'd only had eight films, eight of his movies. And I actually reached out to that artist to have him make all the newest ones. So, like, he is a hero of mine. I absolutely love him. I think I have officially reached a point where the way I talk about Chris Nolan, I am not allowed to do that without also talking about Denny Villeneuve. Because DeNi is, like, we, we, We are witnessing, in my opinion, two of the most generational runs of directing of all time. I do, I mean, it's probably going to be unpopular. I think Denise is in a different league to Nolan. I think he's of a higher caliber.

I respect this take. Dude, like, Denny literally cannot miss. And his, every one of his movies are fucking all time. It's insane. Nolan's a professional, but it's like, Denise, like an actual artist. And I don't mean that as any sort of, like, shade towards Nolan. And I think that it's like what he does and how he's able to craft films that no one's able to craft, no one else in the same way. But what Denise's able to do with like, even how he adapted Dune, it's like just simple things.

Like, you know, he could have made when, when, you know, Paul Atreides uses the voice to control people, he could have made that like, oh, the person turns into a zombie like they did in the original. Yeah, yeah. But his use of editing on like how he was able to convey that this person is doing things against their will without it looking cheesy. is like he's problem solving things at like a minute level and the level of detail that's there. Whereas I think Nolan's a little bit more big picture. So it's a little bit less about the craft of the individual things. That's more about like, how do I get to the place I want to go to sell this scene? And so like when you watch Inception, the first 20 minutes of that film feels like you're watching it on fast forward.

Because it's just like we've got to explain this high concept idea, which is going to be a vehicle for these action scenes, which is going to be a vehicle for like the emotional. punch at the end, which is kind of the formula that a lot of Nolan films follow. It's a really good take. Whereas Deney, every single film is its own beast with its own problems and every single, like every shot, every detail has been meticulously thought out. Nolan started that way when he did Momento and when he even down to his shorts, like, I think doodlebug, it was like very much, you know, the camera is a character, the camera stays in the room, you know, you got to treat it with, it has a physical space inside the set.

And then by the time he's making interstellar, he's like, we're going to treat these IMAX camera is like gopros. We're just going to tack them on everywhere. We're going to figure it out because we just need to get to this place where we can have this effect so we can have this big bombastic scene. That's awesome. That's great. No one else is able to do that.

No one else can. There's very few directors left alive right now who people will go see it because it's that director. There's Nolan, Tarantino. Denise is probably not even one of them. I know. It's crazy. Oh, you don't think so?

I don't think people will go see a film because it's Denise. I think... Actually, I completely agree with you that especially here in the U.S., Denise name is not like I think a lot of people hear Denny like for example I was at lunch with two of our best friends yesterday and I was talking about The Odyssey and I was like well I think I made this point

and they're like who is that? And I was like oh yeah yeah he's not as but his is like Blade Runner everyone will know Dune everyone will know yeah like his films are famous more than he is whereas Nolan might be as famous as his films I agree our last point our buddy Ben yesterday said and I think you, this will resonate with you very much, he was like, I would give anything to see Chris Nolan direct a film that he did not write.

And I thought that was a brilliant point. Yeah. Because like I think one of Denise's great strengths is he finds great scripts to work with, whereas Nolan does both. And I can get Harry. That's cool. That's how Momento is such an interesting one. Because I think his brother wrote the novel at the same time as he made the film.

Yeah. I think Jonah wrote with him for a long time. Yeah. And then he kind of went off, did a wrong one. Westworld and and then his other brother's a hitman. True story. Really? Yeah. That's so sick.

Yeah. You wear that? I know. That's crazy. Chris and Jonah Nolan's other brother is like literally a like MI6 like hitman. Like he's like a, it's insane. Is it like 10? It's like it makes so much sense. Like, oh, I get that movie now. You want to talk a little Gosling?

Yeah, just real quick I saw, because I was really interested about you think about this, Dan, but Gosling, joins finally Ryan Gossing joins the MCU as ghost rider and I was like dude like even when bail what fucking movie was that Thor Love and Thunder even when bail joined

he was the only good part of that movie I was kind of like dude the MCU train has left the station and that was then dude and bail was great in it and whatever and I don't begrudge anyone getting that fat MCU dollar But I was like, do we need Ryan Gosling as a ghost rider in the ashes of the MCU right now? Okay. I'm going to make this quick.

Ryan Gosling can do no wrong. He is my goat. But so much of this for me hinges on Doomsday. Yeah. We know brand new day is going to be good. Spider-Man is its own thing. Like, even it's kind of funny because like Spider-Man still has the whole like Amy Pascal, Sony craziness. Spider-Man is like it's in the MCU, but it lives in its own world.

They have done such a good job. I think Tom is such a good Spider-Man and that movie's going to be fantastic. Doomsday is going to be, for me, impossibly indicative of have you righted the ship? Are we back on track? Or are you about to shove all of these characters? that frankly over the last seven years they had movies that we don't give a shit about. Are you going to try to shove them down our throats

with the Trojan horse of Thor is still in it and Steve Rogers is back but is it actually Steve Rogers? And like Robert Downey Jr.'s back but he's not Iron Man. If that movie sucks, I will be absolutely terrified about this ghost right. The one thing I'm very excited

about it is I think Ryan Gosling for a long period as he became a movie star did a bunch of things like First Man and like Place Beyond the Pines

and what the fuck was the second movie he did with after the drive guy he did that movie A neon demon? Is it? No. Only God forgives.

Only God forgives. Like these are really dramatic roles and I think Ryan is so good but I don't think that's where he is at his best. He is best when he is being charmingly funny, not in a full-on comedy. Like, the nice guy's incredible. Fall guy, incredible. But like Project Hail Mary, where legitimately I hope he wins an Oscar.

He is the perfect combination of charming, funny, and heartfelt. I think Ghost Rider, the best versions of the comics, are quite funny. It's interesting that he's escaped being like a face of a franchise for so long. It's unusual that at this point in his career, he's like superhero movies. Yeah. It feels like that's the opposite of what most people are trying to do. I know. Where they get the role, like Tom Holland, become Spider-Man.

And now it's like, I really want to be in The Odyssey, but everybody looks at me and still sees a 17-year-old who was Spider-Man. I was like, someone brought up in an interview with him recently, he was like, when he did the first Spider-Man, he was like, if I'm still Spider-Man at 10 years from now, something has gone terribly wrong. And it's been 10 years. Yeah. And he was like, well, I mean, I obviously don't feel that way now. but it's like, I, to me, if they make this funny, I mean, Ghost Rider is a fucking demon skeleton riding a motorcycle engulfed in flames. That's funny.

I have high hopes for what Gosselin could do with it. I don't. A Marvel needs to earn back my trust. Yeah, that's what scares me. I said, I'm going to make this quick, that was a quick. What are you doing? And also, I want to say that the, that 23 movie run of the MCU was one of the great achievements in, in studio work literally ever.

That was so fun to go on that ride. Unbelievable. But I, in comic book movies, because I do think we have a reboot problem in the world where they're like, oh, just make the same fucking movies over and over again. Comic book movies, I don't care. In fact, I encourage because it's like Bond movies to me

where I'm like, yeah, just, I want like three to five max with Craig did five, right? Three to five movies max with my bond and then literally just pick a new James Bond and do it again. And I'm like, sweet. You know, every James Bond movie, it's not James Bond becoming James Bond again. And the problem that we had for a long time with different actors playing, it was like, okay, so we have Toby McGuire, Spider-Man.

We have to see him how he became Spider-Man. Then we have to see that again. But by the time they got to Tom Holland, they're like, we don't need to do this. He is Spider-Man. We just start from there, which I agree with you that we can just do the same thing. I just think that, like, I haven't cared since end game. and I think that it's the problem is you can't hype up an audience about this being the the biggest the end game the end game it's the biggest cinematic event of the entire 20 odd

years of building up to this and then expect people still care when it's finished no I mean listen I so many great points remain there I think the big thing for me is when they connected all the worlds with Avengers when I mean when they first did it in the end of the incredible Hulk with Ed Norton when Robert Downey Jr. shows up I remember as a comic geek being like oh my God, they're going to do it. And then I remember so vividly the first time Joss Whedon's trailer for Avengers came out, I was like, there's no way this is going to work, and it worked

stupendously. I do not envy them for where they are. Because now literally every movie and fucking TV show, they all have, all these directors and writers have to consult with each. A good friend Michael is the writer of this movie. It's like, he has to talk to 50 fucking people before he writes one page. It's too hard. And it's like, it's almost why I look at Pattinson and Reeves is the Batman. And it's like, good.

Like you should just do your own thing, dude. Like we need to get back to Tim Burton's Batman where it's like, yeah, to just make Batman movies. Do them again. They could do a new fucking Iron Man. I think it was a massive mistake by not a massive mistake because I understand. But I think it was a mistake by the MCU after end game that they didn't, to use sports terms, blow it out. Yeah. Like start over.

If you want all these new movies, like start from the ground up and then get to this place. But like the fact that we're like feels like what, you know, several years later, we're like, Doomsday. And I'm like, what, dude? I don't even know who these fucking people are. So, yeah. It's crazy. All right.

Let's take a quick ad break and then wrap things up. This episode of the Empty Natives podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp. Mental health is so important in this life. It's super important at hockey as it is. in every aspect of life. And we are encouraging you to get the help you need whenever you need it. There is a stigma around mental health and talking about it. And we've got to break that stigma because it is the most important thing that anyone can do

to be open, to seek help when you need it, and to feel empowered to talk about it when you need to. Better Helps 2026 state of stigma report surveyed 2,000 Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise. Yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. We've got to break that down and BetterHelp is doing an amazing job of helping with that situation. Because when you need help, you should seek it. And sometimes it's not always easy. You can't go out, find a therapist, meet someone.

You don't have time to go to someone's office. That's why online therapy, like BetterHelp, is such an amazing option. They have over 30,000 therapists. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. served over six million people globally and it works they've got an average four point nine stars out of five with over one point seven million client reviews you have all of these certified professionals who you can go through the matching process with and find who is right for you whatever you're going through whatever your issues are that you need help with you can

fill out the survey and find the perfect person to help you with whatever is going on in your life better help is fantastic and it is a perfect way for you to get the the mental health help that you need and to break down this stigma that we're trying to knock down every single day. So do not let the stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp and sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash netters. That's BetterHELP.com slash netters. We are back and the Team USA men's and women went on Family Feud. There's been a celebrity family feud run and it's been really cool and some of the boys

were on it. Halebuck was there. I think Hellebuck smashed, right? So, dude, the boy, there was actually, so it was, it was, Hely and Larks from the men's team, and then some guys from the Sled team, the Paralympic team, which is sick. And Larkin had a really funny moment, actually, where he was like, they were like, what, it was a regular round, not the fast money round, and they were like, what

are something people hang from their rearview mirror? And Larkin was like, like a, like a spiritual, like, a rib, thing or like what's that ribbon it's like a spiritual thing it's like a ribbon thing and like steve harvey's just steve harveying him you know and then it's obviously wrong and then it goes to the girls and they're like a cross and he's like yes and larkin was like ah yeah yes what's that thing a t yeah cross from that lower case that's the tea stand for whose name is that he's like larks well what are you what are we do what are we doing here i want you're going to play this fast money round that hellabuck did and i'm going to see if you do better than him okay and the guys dan you know

have tried to get to 200. The guys got to 308 and crushed. Yeah. So they did really well. Just give it to me. Are you ready? Yeah, we're not going to watch that. Are you ready?

Yes. I'm going to give you, do you want 20 or 25 seconds? Give me 25. Okay. 25 seconds on the clock when I finished reading the first answer. Okay, go. Teenagers don't ask for each other's phone numbers nowadays.

Instead, they ask for each other's what? Snapchat. Fill in the blank. Back to blank. Back to back. Name an occupation where you better know CPR. Nurse. Name a game show that has a celebrity version.

Family feud. How many eggs do you use to make scrambled eggs? Three. Great job, Dan. Really good, Dan. I feel like those are pretty easy questions, though. That's good. Okay, so Hellebuck said Twitter.

Oh, no, I think mine's better than that. And what did you say? Snapchat? Yeah. The next guy, Griffin, who's on the slide team, said, at least pause for a moment just to, has anyone ever been like, oh, give me your Twitter?

No. No. Yeah, I was like, it only got terrible. And I was like, helly. Twitter? And you could tell,

he goes like, he paused, he was like, Twitter? Yeah. I was like, oh, no. I could see IG,

but I feel like kids do Snapchat now. Griffin said, Griffin said IG and that was the number one answer. I don't know what Snapchat is because no one said it. But Griffin, Griffin got the number one answer. Instagram. Fill in the blank,

back to, you said back to back to back. Yeah. Hellibuck also said back. back number two answer. Griffin said back to black. Steve Harvey loved that. Steve Harvey's the man.

And I don't know what number one answers. What do you think? Back to basics. Oh, that's good. Back to basics. Back to the future. Back to front. Back to the future.

Name an occupation where you better know CPR. You said nurse. Hellibuck also said nurse. That was number two answer. It was great. Griffin said paramedic, number one answer. That's the number one answer, yeah. But both were really high.

I bet life cards up there. Oh, good one. Yeah. Name a game show that has a celebrity version. You said Family Feud. Hellabuck also said Family Feud, number one answer. Fuck yeah. And Jeopardy was number two.

That's what Griffin said. And how many eggs do you use to make scrambled eggs? You said three. Hellabuck also said three. Number two answer. The boys said two, pussies. You have two scrambled eggs. You're a bitch.

So I hope you played along with Dan, and you did really good. Okay. Because you got three number two answer, Family Feud, number one answer, nurse number two answer, back-to-back number two answer, and then Snapchat, which I have to believe is number two. It's got to be number two. Yeah.

Tremendous work, Dan. Thank you. Thank you. You are smashing that. Nice. Really good. Really good. Okay, let's close it out with a Beer League hotline.

And this one's a long read, Sean, so I'm sorry. I'm sorry for more for Grant to try to make this a clip, but it's an important read. And, yep, for the people at home, this. That guy doesn't count. He can't even weed. This is going to take Sean 20 takes to get through this. All right. Is it funny or because it's so long?

Both. Because I can't read. He can't read, Dan. I'm just like been guessing what the words mean. To be fair, it's his second language. It is my second language. We picked up a free agent and he's by far the best player in the league. Puts up three plus goals a game and feeds the boys tons of sick apples.

Most of us love him, but our goalie can't stand him. He always rips the first shot of warm-ups off our goalie's dome. Our goalie chirps him back hard, calling him Bacon Boy. Last week, we had the early game, and our stud bails to pick up an overtime shift. He's a cop. After the game, the boys have a few beers and head home. At 3 a.m., the group chat explodes because our stud arrested our goalie for a DUI, a mile from the rink. Now our goalie won't play unless we kick the stud off the team.

None of us want to play against the stud or get pinched ourselves if he holds a grudge. Plus now our goalie has no license for 90 days or going to have to drive him to all the games. The boys are split right now. Please be the tie-breaking vote. There is no fucking way. This is real. No chance this is made up. This is fucking insane.

There is no way this is real. Pinched him. He got pinched. And he was parked outside the rink. I know, no. He was parked outside the rink. I need to truly, guys on this team, DM us. I need to know if this is real.

This is maybe one of the, this is an all-time Beerley-Cottline predicament. This is an all-time beerly-collarine predicament. this is fucking brutal. The feud between the goalie and this guy must be deeper than what we know. He's just this free agent. How could it be? Because why are you dome-pieceing your goaltender every warm-up?

They're saying it's like every warm-up. Because immediately when they were like, the goalie hates him, I was like, why does he? There's no reason to hate this guy. But if he puts a fucking, cruise missile between his eyes and ward-ups every game, then that is a problem. I don't wake you up. Also, the fact that this guy is a cop is insane.

What are we doing? Is this mystery Alaska, dude? Is this John Beebe? Like, what's happening? Sheriff. And cops play beer league. But I'm just, I'm no offense. I'm just surprised that this stud, best player on the team is a cop.

Maybe it's not that high of a level. Why are you doing this to the goalie? He doesn't like him. That's crazy. it is crazy maybe he's just shoots high and warrants like

maybe he's not intentionally dome piecing him he's just like I'm ripping it sounds like if it's this significant

I mean if it happened one time and the goal he's being a bitch about it then you're being a bitch about it but it's

they're making it sound like he does it often so I'm like why are you liberty belling your goal

every day and then arresting him well Dan we don't condone DUI's we sure do not so I'm like

first of all guys do not fucking drink too many beers after the game and then drive home we talk about that all the time just get a fucking Uber I don't care how far away you are but you can't be given him a DUI

if you pull him over hang on that would be corruption if he doesn't just because he knows him and he's not going to conviction that's the whole point of knowing people that is this you were talking about fucking unobtainium earlier and how the world works this is how the world works you get away with shit by the

people you know. You get special treatment because of the people you know. Pull, buddy, pull him over. See that it's your goalie and go, you fucking idiot. Pull him out of his car, put him in your cruiser and drive him home and go, we'll come get your car tomorrow.

Done and dusted. You're arresting him. Do we. You idiot? Dan, he swore an oath. He's probably got a body cam, too. He swore an oath to serve and protect. His body cams on. You know, and maybe, I don't know even know what you do. You have to blow into the fucking breath lazz of yourself and go, oh, that was him.

Here's the facts of the matter, dude. This is absolutely terrible. I mean, this is brutal. I don't, I, I can't even speak how crazy this whole situation is, but I'll tell you what, dude, the goalie's in the wrong. The goalie's in the wrong and he's going, but the goal he's now going, I won't play with him. Is that in the wrong? Yes. Are you sure? You just said knowing people, He should have helped you out. He could have helped you. That would have been great. But at the end of the day, you drove drunk, pal.

Yep. Sorry. You drove drunk and you got fucking pulled over. He's accepting his punishment for that, though. He's saying, okay, my license is spending it. I get what I deserve. You're not accepting your punishment if you're going to be a bitch about it and go, kick him off the team. Wrong, dude.

Would you play with that guy? Would you sit in the locker with that dude who domed you up every game and doied you? I think I'd be like, bro, I quit. I would be so... But hurt all the time. I know. But the shame of getting a DUI would, I would be like this. What am I mad about it?

Yeah. I was an idiot and I drove drunk. And this guy fucking scores four goals again. Yeah, so we need them. And you know what? I'll tell you what, dude, you would, you would be in a, you talk about a dark place. Not having your license for 90 days.

You got a dooey. You feel like an idiot? Dude, if you let this guy, no. If you let this guy go to another team and now he's fucking don't pieceing you and scoring four on you, every night, that will be the worst moment of your life. That's what best goalie doesn't realize. You're 100% correct. He does not

realize that kicking him off the team and put Mainty plays against him. Right now he only has to deal with him in warmups. If he is lighting him up like a fucking Christmas tree, every game, that is, you don't recover from that ever. Because he starts chirping you then, dude. He goes,

he pumps you high glove for the third time that night. And he goes, feeling a little, glove hand a little slow tonight, have a few pops for the game. You a little drunk? And you're like, shut the fuck up, dude. This is going to end in a homicide. Yeah, exactly. We already have a DUI. We're going to add a homicide to the list.

If you let this guy go to another team and he starts lighting you up like a Christmas tree. And the boys, the guy who sent this in, I give a lot of credit to because the boys have a vision. Because not only will he be pumping you in beer league, but you cannot afford to have this man who would not help out his teammate. You cannot afford to have him as an enemy. Correct. You cannot. He is on the force. This is what you do.

The cop picks up. the goalie and brings him to the game. Ooh. Every, every game. I don't think the goalie can ride with him. This is how you fix the relationship. You need to heal this relationship. Whatever these two are dealing with,

they need to heal it together, and this is how you will do it. So the vote is, our tie-breaking vote is you keep him on the team. Yes. He drives the goalie to the games. Yes. Fix the relationship. And if the goalie refuses to play, then... You find a new goalie.

You find a new goalie. Because you can't get rid of this guy. I cannot be getting pitched. But also, dude. Stop arresting your teammates. I think. I got it. First and foremost, stop driving drunk, you fucking idiots, dude.

We talk about this all the time on the show. There are a billion fucking ways to get home without driving drunk. Stop driving drunk. But also, maybe don't arrest your teammates. Don't arrest the boys. I don't know. I don't want to, you know, I don't condone anything, but maybe don't arrest your teammates. Oh, dude.

Nightmare. Okay, crazy. All right. That's going to do it for this episode. Big stuff coming this week. We've got unbelievable interviews, including the grade eight, Alexander Ovechkin. Possibly most exciting for us this Wednesday. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, yeah. You're listening to this on Tuesday. Tomorrow, our first episode of sci-fi section covering Red Rising is dropping. It's the most fun I've ever had in my entire life recording any show. If you're... No offense to empty netters, but like that was the most fun I've ever had. If you're a fan of sci-fi, come check it out. If you aren't, but you have a friend who's a fan of sci-fi,

who's not a hockey fan that doesn't listen to Empty Netters, go, hey, dude, I got just the pod for you. It's amazing. If you haven't read Red Rising, the first episode covers chapters 1 through 6, part one. And if you have, so have we. That's the most exciting part. We're just deep dive into one of our favorite books and series of all time. It's going to be a blast.

Make sure to check it out. Make sure to go snag some merch at Emptenters.shop. Make sure please to hammer that subscribe button. send the show around to your friends follow us on all the socials we love you guys and until tomorrow for red rising and then later in the week for more netters skate hard