Empty Netters Podcast - The Islanders Embrace The Lighthouse w/ Alec Martinez

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

Alec is back from summer vacation! Marty rejoins the pod and the fellas dig into players that matched some of Wayne Gretzky’s records. Which islanders jersey is the best, and a phenomenal round of Fraud Watch & Top Hits. Chapters: 0:00 - Intro 17:49 - What’s the connection game
 30:27 - Anybody but Gretzky trivia 45:31 - Islanders Third Jerseys 49:55 Tarasenko Free Agency 1:00:09 - Fraud Watch/Top hits 1:21:31 - Blind Ranking 90s school supplies PRESENTED by BetMGM. Download the BETMGM app and use code “NETTERS” and enjoy up to $1500 in bonus bets if you lose your first wager! Thanks to our Sponsors! BetMGM: Use bonus code NETTERS when signing up to receive up to $1500 in bonus bets if your first bet loses. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER (Available in the US) 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY) 1-800-327-5050 (MA), 1-800-NEXT-STEP (AZ), 1-800-BETS-OFF (IA), 1-800-981-0023 (PR) 21+ only. Please Gamble Responsibly. See BetMGM.com for Terms. First Bet Offer for new customers only. Subject to eligibility requirements. Bonus bets are non-withdrawable. In partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel. This promotional offer is not available in New York, Nevada, Ontario, or Puerto Rico. More than 6 million people have used BetterHelp globally. The consistent feedback from real users makes it easy to see why so many people continue to choose BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/netters Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Empty Netters podcast. Can you believe what this has become? There was a full 48 hours where I felt like I was like literally Superman. Jumbo loves playing Fortnite, so he gets on the sticks. Did TR show you the sauna cycle, or was that all year? No, no, I invented that. Almost a year now that I haven't taken a body check. That's kind of nice.

So we are back. We are horned up, and we are going deep. Finish tonight with some chicken fingers and a few guineasas and ran into you guys. That's where this pod came to life. Ice is ready and we are back with another episode of the Mpten artist podcast brought to you by BetMGM. I'm your host, Dan Powers. We got Dr. Watkins on the sticks. We got CP back home in Maine, but the big news of the day, Marty's back.

I'm back. This is fucking huge. Huge news. CP, don't even come home, dude. You're fine. Stay there. Yeah, this is good, dude. I'll heal up.

I'll heal up on the road. Come back, fresh as lettuce. That's a good plan, actually. Speaking of fresh lettuce, look at that cut. I know. Dude. When'd you get rid of it? I don't even, like...

Isn't it? A week ago. Yeah. A few days ago. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. Once in a blue moon, Marty.

I get really, it just gets really hot, you know, and I'm like, I gotta... Are you filming a great clips commercial or son? Is that why you're not here? Are you off-site? Vidal Sassoon or what herbal essence is? Is that what you're doing? I told Sandra, this is my last haircut before the wedding and she was not pleased. Yeah.

Holy shit. This is delicious. That's unreal. I got a I'm this is I've never had this it's cherry cola it's fantastic there's a cherry coal

yeah isn't that wild that's awesome not to get off topic CB there was a bunch of comments on the one of our recent post that was like address the haircut and I was like I have addressed it every day dude

I couldn't even look at you before you cut it it was so bad now look at you you're a new man did you tell anyone or you just show up one day maybe you knew Dan

but I didn't really tell anybody you know what my kid to work our parents were in town I forget where he I was where I don't know where I was but like he and Sandra were out to dinner with my parents or something and I just I get a picture sent to me from my mom of his haircut and I was like fucking huge you know what though Marty Dan when I got the haircut he texted me and he was like dude you look incredible this is gonna this is gonna jumpstart a run of success and like you've never seen before all is going well and then like 12 hours later I shattered my hand again and I was like you are a trick I thought you're going to say like your parents sent that. You took your phone and sent that text. No, it was me. Try to impress it.

Hey, I'm clean cut. It was me. I'm successful. I was like, look at me, mom. I was like success and money is going to swim like the salmon of the Capistrano. And then he broke his hand. I was like, I got to grow it out. Yeah.

Dude, we were talking, before we jump into all the stuff we've got to talk about, we were mentioning, this is what I said I want to wait for the pod for. We were talking about nostalgia and like a 90s Instagram page. I have recently been getting hit with, and if you haven't seen these yet, I'm going to start sending them to you. I have been getting hit with these AI videos. Oh, same, bro. Do you know what I'm about to say? Yes, I know exactly you're about to say. And it starts with, it goes, you woke up and it's 1990 during Christmas.

And it's like playing Bing Crosby Christmas songs. And it's these AI videos of like the old style kitchens that we grew up with and like the living room with the box TV. And it's, dude, it's, it's just, they're destroying me. It's, it's unreal. My wife has sent me a few of those. Okay. Oh, you've seen them.

Evan, have you seen these? I know you hate AI. I hate AI. Yeah, no, I don't. Well, yeah, of course I come across them. Well, I'm getting to the age now where my wife and I are getting fooled by A video. She's like, this is real.

And I'm like, no, it's not, babe. It's not real. You got to be skeptical. It sounds like my mother-in-law. It's like, hey, can you believe, this is so gross. This woman's wearing a rat dress. down a catwalk or like a red carpet. Like that is not real.

I don't mean to sue her. Alice gets fooled sometimes too. She'll send me a video of like puppies doing ridiculous things. Holding a handgun or something. No, it'll be like there's like a bunch of puppies like sitting in a living room and the owner will say like ask them to do something and they're doing such ridiculous human emotions. And I'm like, honey. Yeah, like start vacuuming the living room. And it's like, yeah.

It's so ridiculous too. Getting on the hind legs, you know. Oh, God. But those Christmas videos, man, they are like, they're destroying me. And I sent them to a friend the other day and he was like, it is mid-August. And I was like, buddy, we're 15 days away from the burr months. And that is when we can start. Oh, I'm so excited for Christmas.

Yeah. Summer's dead. Summer's dead. It's a brutal, brutal situation. I know it's summer when, or summer's coming to an end when I'm up at the lake and you go to Costco. You know they always have like seasonal or regional items. Yeah, dude. And it's like mid-August and they start selling pumpkin pie.

And I'm like, what are we doing, dude? That's, that is crazy. I can't let go, you know? I thought you were going to say. They start selling Christmas trees too, like in September. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

That's the display. It's the beers for me, Marty. I go to the grocery store and it's like all the pumpkin head, Dan, you know, like they get the shipyard going. here now it's like all the fall beers and I'm like dude please I'm going to the beach yeah like I don't need that that's that's that's a better one I was going to say it's the back to school shit but then again it's like kids are back in school school's crazy now already the timeline for school got whack is that real your kids are in school right now yeah that's why I was I was late dude that is that is unacceptable my kids aren't in school but my yeah yeah but like my birthday is

the 23rd and I used to hate, I still hate my birthday, but I used to hate my birthday when I was young because I was like, it means schools back in like a week, but now kids are already back in school. Can you imagine if I grew up today? I'd be in school during my birthday. That would be terrible. Outrageous, dude. I can't handle it, dude. I can't handle it. But the beers are a huge sign. Have you ever had that Shipyard Pumpkinhead? Oh yeah. Dude. Great. Gas. That beer is, and you know what's funny, I used to remember getting a 12 pack of those in college and drinking the whole thing myself.

Oh, God. And if I did that now... I can't do that. It's a little too heavy. Can you imagine the calories that that would be today? I would never recover. I would legitimately never bounce back from it.

But that's correct. Yeah. I mean, the second I see one of those here, I'm going to get the brown sugar rim. I'm going to have one. It's going to be great. Evan, have you ever had that? You would love that.

I'm unapologetically, like a rich white, lady because I love pumpkin spice shit. I think we need to I think we need to break down the stigma of like pumpkin spice being not awesome. Yeah, it's taken a lot of heat over the years. Yeah, like it's like it is kind of like the white girl. Yeah.

But I'm like, that's okay. We're wearing the boots and the jeans and the big green hats and we are so close to seeing Ugg boots and North Face jackets everywhere. In LA, which is funny because it's still going to be about 85 degrees until November 20th. Oh yeah. So we're going to insist that it's fall, though. I mean, I went to school in Miami, and that was like, they always called a J-Crew

U. Yeah. And that. That is awesome. Yeah, Jay-Crew U. And like, that is the girl's outfit. Yeah. It's like back in the day, it was like what brand was A-Pocket jeans? So I'm like that, but it was like A-Pocket jeans, ugg boots, and like a north-faced

Denali jacket. Wow. Boom, walk in a class. Maybe earmuffs. I always wondered, Marty, when they got into homes, all the girls would take off their ugg boots and hang their black North Face Denali jacket. And when you were leaving, I was like, how do you know which set is yours? Like, it's literally identical shoes and jacket. It's like recess growing up.

You got to put your initials on the name tag on the back. Dude, do you guys remember this North Face fleece? Everyone on earth had it. Yeah, that's the Denali jacket. I know the name. Yeah, this special. This, I mean, if you didn't have that, you were a fucking loser in high school. Correct.

And Chris, I don't think you did. No, I did not. You know me, dad. Yeah, I most definitely did not either. I don't think I could get a North Face until, well, maybe my parents got me one for Christmas in college, but maybe when I turned pro. You know what's funny. Yeah. Everyone's like, what'd you get with your school?

Yeah, guys, like I bought a G-whack. Marty's like, I bought a North Face. I bought a North Face. I want to fit in with all the gas. at Miami. I bought A pocket jeans. Dude, I distinctly remember we had a house party once and someone left a North Face jacket at the house and it was the greatest day of my life because I was like, oh my God, this is, this is mine now. And I wore it for months. I wore it to school just like head on a swivel being like who is going to be like, yeah, that's my jacket. And it never happened.

Nice. That's amazing. Yeah, it's beautiful. Have you ever played What's the Connection with us? I don't think so. C.P., are you excited about this? Yes, I am. Okay. And this one is, I tried to make it a little trickier than I usually do, Dan. So this will be good. Jesus Christ, you're putting Marty through the ringer right off of that.

Yeah, yeah. Dude. Chris, for a second, I thought when I first saw your backdrop, before you lean forward and I saw the fireplace, I was like, is he just sitting on a bed right now? Like, is that a headboard? Oh, dude. But I'm like, that's a little too mantel. but still like yeah

I was like this guy's just just podden from his bed What makes me so happy is certainly someone watching this show thought the same thing 100% which is great Okay so what's the connection Is a trivia game Marty

CP is going to give us a bunch of trivia questions We together will come up with our answers But there's nine questions So I got to like write these down. Yeah, I'll write them down for us. There's nine questions and the tenth. I have to put my glasses on for this. Do it. Do it. People are going to love that. People are going to love that. The ladies at home are going crazy right now. The 10th one is the connection

of all the answers. So like if we get the answers correct, all of them have to do with something like one time. It's like the jumbo crossword type thing. Kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like all the So like one time Chris asked nine questions, all of the answers were had to do with like the office. And it was like, oh, huge. And it's up to us for the 10th to be like, it's the office. But the good news. Last time, Marty, it was like the answers were like tigers, rabbit, um, leprechaun. And it was all serial mascots.

So like all the mascots of them is cereal. But all the questions are hockey. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah. So. Oh, these are hockey related? Oh, well, the connection might not be. The connection won't.

But all the questions are, which is great. Which is great for our hockey audience. Why, you think that I don't have any, you think that's the limit of my scope? I don't trust you at all anymore because what you early days told me you'd only seen like four movies and now you pull out the most insane movie references that I've ever heard. So I believe you're, you have a depth of knowledge.

No, I have a depth, but I'm saying there's a select few movies that I know like the back of my hand because they're like bus movies. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Like we've seen them a hundred times over. Yeah.

That's true. You know what? I actually, honestly, Chris, I might make Marty do the speed run during this episode. Oh, because we've not done it with him. That'd be cool. I texted Chris earlier this summer. I was like, you might have had the best reference. I think I've ever heard.

Chris had it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was it? Sorry, no offense. What was it?

it was the um uh it's like it's really you peter oh yeah from keth there you are there you are peter and i was like it stopped it stopped me dead in my tracks i think i was watching the kids and listening and i was like whoa that's unreal yeah because dan no one blinked like you obviously know what that's from but you didn't stop you didn't react like i just said it and everyone the conversation kept rolling yeah and so no one no it was it went entirely unacknowledged and i'm like am i the only one that's that's you know you're in flow state when we're all just riffing and someone makes an insane reference and no one acknowledges it and you're just like is no one going to talk about that hook reference that just happened yeah it's incredible i actually saw this dude online the other

day who was like breaking down that movie and he was just saying absurd things and he was like hook is about rob and way and like he's just making all these jokes and he goes yeah at one point he goes and then the uh horror from pretty woman shows up but she's tiny And at the end he goes, 9.5, one of the best movies I've ever seen. That's like those those memes where it's like sum up a movie plot in three sentences or whatever. And it was like the one that just had me die. And it was like drug addict and like piece of shit human being takes advantage of mentally challenged man dot dot dot for a year.

Or no, it was four decades. And it was like forest gum. Yeah. And I was just dying. I was dying. I mean, that's my favorite movie. I've seen one for Willie Wonka that's like, deranged psychopath kidnaps multiple children and slowly kills them off one by one.

Yeah. Willie Wonka, five stars. Yeah, yeah. Yep. There you know. I heard an, or go ahead. No, go ahead. I heard an awesome Forrest Gump stat the other day, which I'd never heard.

And I love that movie, and I thought I'd heard everything. But Tom Hanks got the part and had already been filming some stuff in his, normal accent. Then they cast Haley Joel Osmond and he had that Minnesota drawl or whatever. And they were like, we can't teach this kid to sound like you. So Tom Hanks had to learn that accent and then redo the whole character with that accent just because of the kid they cast. Did you say Minnesota for an Alabama accent? Oh, I said that. I meant to say Mississippi. You said Minnesota. I was like, what just happened? I think I read that too. But it wasn't like little forest like later like his son it was the kid they casted like in the in the in the with the braces

the yeah yeah yeah yeah he did he from like malcolm in the middle uh i don't know but he looks probably not no it's not a lot of kids in the 90s had that same face oh that would be sick if that was him but yeah i think you're right eva i think that kid is Evan look up that actor i'm on it baby this is this is my bread and butter i love this every time i'm watching a movie of my wife she's always like okay here's another obscure actor i'm gonna tell me about It blows my mind. Do you ever watch the O.C? Yeah.

Not like religiously, but it was like a... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I fucking blow your mind real quick? All right. You know the six cents? You've seen the six cents, I imagine. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

The chick... Best plot twist of all the time. The dead girl who's like puking under the bed is Marissa. Like the main love interest in the O.C. Isn't that insane? Oh, shit, yeah. Insane. I remember what, like, I watched the OC, loved the OC.

I went. I'll watch the six of them. Yeah, she's puking in the tent. Yeah, she's like, under the bed. She's under the bed. She, like, grabs his foot. She's actually like the first one. Yes, the girl who got the soup poison.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's right. The young. Brace Forest. Is a guy named Michael Connor Humphreys, who was in a total of three, count them three movies.

Okay. Forrest Gump. And then in 2011, Pathfinders in the Company of Strangers, and in 2021, an episode of Night's End. Okay. Okay, definitely have never seen that kid a day in my life.

Flamed out. But he is from Mississippi. I bet those mailbox checks for Forrest Gump are fucking electric. He's got a speaking role in that movie, dude. Yes, sir. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's huge. Okay, we're completely off the rails in this episode, and I absolutely love it.

Yep. Let's get it. I had one more, too, but I'm going to save it for another day. It was another obscure reference. Say it. And it was like the spawning of a friendship immediately. Wow. But I played with a guy in the minor. His name was David Cole Mattis, great dude.

But we were, it was like at the beginning of the year or whatever. And I can't remember exactly what we were talking about. But someone was like, oh, that's seven. And he just hits me with a dry eight. Do you guys know what that's from? From the movie seven? No, it's the frog kid in Little Rascals. And I was like, oh, my.

Holy shit. And I was. And I couldn't believe it. Like the amount of, like the balls it took for him to follow up with that, we were like, oh, I think he's, I think he's wearing number seven. And he's like, try eight. And so then now the next time you see that, like, I almost want to pull up the clip of the kid. But he's the frog kid and little rascal.

That kid's voice is out of control. Speaking of 90s stuff. And I was like, we were immediately like best friends. It was awesome. Yeah, that's huge. Shout out to D.K. That'll get you in your good graces immediately. Yeah.

Every time. Wow. I always think about the box car racing moment in that movie. Oh, yeah. That was electric. Electric. Holy shit. I should rewatch that movie.

D. All right, CP, hit us with What's the Connection right now. Okay. Here's what's the connection, boys. This one's a little trickier. You can definitely get it. But here we go. Okay.

Question number one. If you're going to a hockey game, make sure to support your team with your favorite merch. Just don't wear your favorite blank. you might lose it if one of the forwards has a good night. Got to be hat. Yeah, it has to be hat. Okay.

All right. Are we allowed to share an answer? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. Oh, we're working together here. We're on a team. We're on a team. But I can't tell you if they're right yet. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just have to talk and feel good about stuff. Okay, ready for question two? Here we go. According to Rule 49.2, players are allowed to score a goal this way, as long as it's deemed they didn't blank the puck into the net. Kick? Yeah, I would go kick. or redirect or whatever.

Or bat, maybe. No, bat is okay. Oh, like with your hand, you can't do that? Oh, well, I, no, you can't. I'm just saying, what would you do with your hand? Actually, if it deflects off your... There just can't be a kicking... I feel good about kick.

Yeah, kicking. And we don't need to lock anything in. Let's assume kick. Okay, all right. Question number three. You're taught to make a C shape with your skates when you are learning to skate this way. Oh, backwards.

Backwards. sea cuts, baby. Sea cuts all day. I was fucking so good at those, dude. Used to carve up the ice like no one's business, you'd serving shaved ice out there. Oh, yeah. Making the Zamboni driver pissed.

Yeah, yeah, he's like, I fucking hate this guy. Question number four. In the year 2000, expansion teams, the Columbus Blue Jackets, and the Minnesota Wilde would be picking third and fourth in the draft. The Wild ended up with the third pick because they won one of these

against the Blue Jackets pre-draft to break the tie. Coin flip? I have no fucking I. Well, wasn't that pick, Marion Gabbrick? Yeah. Yeah, my boy. What a snite, Marty.

Yeah. Was the jackets pick? Nash? The Wilde ended up with the third pick because they won one of these against the blue jackets. It must be a coin flip. It must be a tiebreaker.

It wouldn't it? Like, I feel like, tiebreaker. I mean, I like coin flip tiebreaker. I mean, I like coin. flip. Let's go with coin flip. But we can come back to that. I feel like that's what the league would

resort to. Yeah. It's like, all right. Well, they're going to play fucking rock paper scissors? Yeah, yeah. All right, go on, Chris. That would be sick. That would be sick. Send up your captains, RPS to see you guys the pick. Or what if, instead of the lottery ball, all the GMs just go do a rock paper scissors tourney? That'd be unreal. Can you imagine the views that we would get if the, if you did like an American Ninja

Warrior thing of all. the GMs in the league and it's like that's how you determine the draft that would be epic dude be incredible we can get past the first obstacle it's so funny all right go on okay question number five after winning the stanley cup statistically this is the most common thing players do to forever commemorate the victory get drunk hoist it yeah maybe kiss the cup yeah kiss it or hoist it hoist it kiss it. Like is this like at the, is this like on your cup day or is this? Yeah. On the ice? Because I'm like, not on the ice. I'll give you that hint. Not on the ice. Not on the immediate after. Not in the immediate. So drink from the cup. Champagne. Yeah, probably.

Yeah. It's like, say drink from the cup. Yeah. Yeah. Because if it was like your cup day, I probably was going to like you eat cereal or breakfast or whatever. Yeah. Okay. Question number six. Alex Burroughs made this his goal celebration as a tribute. to late teammate Luke Borden. It looks a lot like Timu Solani's famous celebration, though it is slightly less deadly. Maybe. Well, Solani does.

He did the, he threw his glove and shot it. Does Burroughs maybe, slightly less dead. Bow and arrow? I think he does. I'm thinking bow and arrow. Okay, bow and arrow? Slightly less deadly winds up for that. You could maybe survive an arrow, but a gunshot rifle probably not.

Not so much, yeah. Probably not. Yeah. Okay. Question number seven Blind ranking Shotgun blast the face might be talking

Yeah F weapon Blackericking I'm gonna go rifle About bone arrow Yeah All right Okay go on

Question number seven Five of these Have made the NHL in the history of the league And after the Penguins draft this year There will soon be six Oh twins

Twins Yes nice Twins Basel Twins Twins Question number eight. This year, the Colorado Avalanche

are unveiling their brand new ECHL affiliate to go along with their AHL affiliate, the Colorado Eagles. The Goatheads will play south of Colorado giving this state their first pro hockey team since the Scorpions in 2009. Oh, wait. South of Colorado.

Mexico. Oklahoma? Well, what's south of Colorado? is New Mexico. Yeah, New Mexico's down there. But didn't they have the San Faye Roadrunners? Yeah, I thought so. But I think it's New Mexico.

I mean, New Mexico's Scorpions feels right. Yeah. But also Arizona is, well, what's directly below? It's New Mexico. It's got it. It is New Mexico. Okay, let's do New Mexico. Hold on, Evan.

Okay, question number nine. Chris Osgood famously wore this brand helmet, also worn by Rick DiPiatro. It's no Yager Jofa, but it did look just as weird, and now it's just as iconic. Cooper? Cooper, I think. Yeah. They also use his helmets in Tron. They just painted him. I always laugh like when you see like a PBR writer rocking a Bauer 5,000 and full cage. Like that to me is just so funny. You're like, that's awesome. It's awesome. It makes me feel good. You know, like, this thing, this thing does its job.

Yeah. Exactly. Okay. I know the connection. And it is absolutely incredible. And we'll get there. But Chris, I want to go through our answers first and tell us if anything is wrong. Okay.

So we have hat, kick, backwards, coin flip. I said drink from the cup. Well, like, we'll just say drink from the cup. Bow and arrow, twins. New Mexico and Cooper. You have all of them but one. And it's a great job. And drink from the cup is not right.

Okay, drink from the cup is not right. And it's the hardest worded question. I have a hint I can give you, but it will, you'll definitely get it with the hint. So, Dan, I'd rather you try to solve it via the connection. Okay, let's try to solve it via the connection. I want to see if you can get there. Let's see you right now.

Does Evan, do you know the connection? No. Okay. You could get it. Okay. So, you know what? One, I'm... Is it a movie?

No, well, close. It is a... I don't want to stay on that track. Okay, yeah. So the way I got it was Cooper. That's why I put that one last. I knew you were going to fucking do that, yeah. Like Bradley Cooper?

Nope. It's a character's name. Oh. And then bow and arrow. was a big one as well. Should I go down the movie line? Yeah, do it. So like a hat kick backwards coin flip.

Is it a Western movie? Mm-mm. It's not a movie. Oh, it's a TV series. Related to movies. This was nasty work. I mean, this is... Twins, like stunt doubles?

Like, am I down... Okay. Very, very, very close, dude. There is a movie where someone being a twin is very important. Do it. And then... Do it.

No. Because you don't realize that there's two of them. Yeah. Yes. Do you know what movie we're talking about? I'm thinking of Christian Bale and... The prestige. The prestige.

I watched that this summer on an airplane. There you go. Come on, dude. The top four movie all time for me. So that one is the prestige. Yeah. and then Oh, I know what it is.

Okay, good job. So you're, I mean, you're on it. Just like a magic trick? Nope. So Twins is the prestige. Yeah. Cooper is, again, the name of a character. But then, like, New Mexico is big for another movie.

I'm thinking like Tombstone. That would be a good. thing to think of. Yeah. Imagine that each of these names is its own separate piece and an au revoir. Oh, a coin flip. I'm thinking, no country for old men. Nope, but, but well, but you're so close. I got to get, I got to get off. Is it an actor? No, no, no. So you're so close. So the prestige is

twins. You got, like that is correct. Yeah. so like what could connect something about the prestige to a bunch of other movies yeah I was just thinking like Michael Kane but that's an actor yeah this is hard but funny enough dude funny enough Michael Kane is in a ton of these things in the one involving the coin flip

oh like like Batman yep yep so what Batman movie has like a very famous coin in it don't say Batman forever yeah is it Dark Night? Yep Because Harvey Dent flips the coin. Harvey, yes. So coin flip is that.

What connects the Dark Knight and the prestige? Not Christian Bale. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The Dark Night and the Prestige? Yeah. Bo and Arrow was... Yeah, have you seen any big movies this summer?

Yeah, one of the bigger summer movies this year. Oh, the Odyssey? Yeah. No, I haven't seen it. Okay, but that was Bow and Arrow. So that's fair. He hasn't seen that one. Okay.

But again... So now you got three threads. Yeah. I know you So we're just We just talk in like action films Nope because but think Think specifically the movies

If it's not an actor I feel so stupid right now You're not You're getting the movies You're getting the movies I feel so dumb You're in the prestige What are the other element

Like who's involved in making a movie That's not an actor Oh Christopher Nolan There you go Bam Got it So okay So that's the connection

Christopher Nolan Yeah. So hat is the prestige, because it's all the same top hat that we see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kick is Inception because of like the kick that wakes them up. Yeah. Backwards is Tenet because the whole movie goes backwards. Could also be Memento, too. Could also be Memento. Yeah. Coinflit is the dark night. A dark night. Bowenero is the Odyssey. Twins is the prestige. New Mexico is Oppenheimer. And Cooper is McConaughey's name in Interstellar. Oh, yeah. So, four. Five. So knowing it has to be a Nolan movie, after winning the Stanley Cup, statistically, this is the most common things players do to forever commemorate their victory. Do they get a tattoo? Oh, memento, tattoo. Oh, yes.

Yeah. Tattoo. Boom. Great job, Dan. I should have known that because I have one right here. I was like, I know. I was like, I was like, I was ready for it. I was like, dude, look down.

There's one on him. Oh. Fucking huge. I've just, I've, I can't wear my glasses now. I'm an idiot. Like, I've lost my right to look smart. Chris, that was well done. That was great. That was fun. That was funny. It was embarrassing, but it was fun. No, what do you mean? We got all the, we got the nine. We did it. We did it. Maybe I need more caffeine. Yeah, yeah. Get some more of that. The brain going to sharpen up the yel. Okay, and Marty, we're going to need you here now more than ever because this next game is this, and I don't know, Evan's taking us through this one. I don't know the answers. We found this unbelievable trivia. thing called Anyone But Wayno. And it's all these epic things that Gretzky's done, but a few other people have done them

too, and we have to figure out what it is. Oh, wow, huge. I think you may put your glasses back on. I think we're going to be looking at this screen. Yeah, I fixed my eyebrows too. All right, so I'm going to ask the questions here. Okay. All right.

Other than Wayne Gretzky, who has won five or more Heart Memorial trophies? And how many are there for this one? And there is only one in this category. Okay, one person ever has... Oh. Oh, good guest. Has Mario not one? I mean, I guess he was going against Wayne the whole time.

Yeah, that's... And then with the cancer stuff when he was out for a bit. Mm-hmm. I mean, we can guess as many as we want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like the rocket, though. Let's try Maurice Richard. Because that guy was a stud for so long and easily the best.

And they won 20 cups. Yeah, and they won, yeah. Wrong? Fuck. God. Is it Mario, Dan? I mean, let's try. I think it's Mario.

Wrong. Oh. Five heart trophies. Go, go. Oh, uh, Gordy how? Gordy. Correct. Uh, Gordy.

I should have. Okay. Okay, other than Wayne Griske. I feel bad for that one being a Detroit kid. Yeah. Who, other than Wayne Gretzky, has won the Hart Memorial trophy with two separate teams. And here there are two correct answers. Won the heart with two different teams.

Whoa, good guess. Would Messier, won it with Edmonton and the Rangers? Yeah, let's go Mess. That is correct. Yes, Marty, come on. We are back. We are so back. And MVP with two different teams.

It was great and moved. I was literally about to go wing. Do you want me to give you a hint? It's very unrelated. Okay, sure. She's going to say one word, shrimp. That makes me think of Jack Eichel. Me too.

It's not that. It's a very obscure hint. Yeah. Do we know this guy, Evan? Like, could we get it? Or is it someone I've never heard? No, yeah. I think you could get it.

Oh, okay. Heart with two different teams. We got mess. It's not Yager. It's not. I would say these two teams could not be further apart geographically. Okay. All right.

All right. That's good. That helps. And that makes me think like, Joe Thornton never won with Boston, right? Yes, he, well, he won like technically. Oh, he won that year. I think he won that year. Oh, that probably counts.

Joe Thornton because he won it when he got traded. Yeah, jumbo shrimp. Yeah, there we go. Oh, nice. Dude, I get the hit. Yeah. Hell yeah. And I need to nail all of these based on you guys having a walk, like handhold me to the answer to the other one.

Yeah. This is where you shine. Yeah. This is where you shot. I walk like a dog. All right, other than Wayne Greske, who has won two or more cons my's trophies, and this one has five. Five people have won two cons mites.

That's going to be, Mario has one of those. Correct? This has got to be like rocket, right? They want a million cups. Quickie's won one. Yeah. Because Justin Williams won, I thought, but Cam Ward won it when he won with Carolina. so it wouldn't be. Oh, damn, yeah.

Isn't it insane that McDavid could possibly have this and have no cups, which is unbelievable. That would be 99. I know. So, Sid? What about Crosby? Ding. There's a Crosby. So you got Mario, you're Crosby.

Three more. That's awesome. I know, baby. I'm lucky. Three more, Ed? Three more. Okay, so we got Mario, Crosby. Who won with Florida?

Was it Bob and Barrow? Markoff? Well, Connor won one of those. Oh, yeah, duh. Yeah, which is insane. And then I believe it wasn't, it wasn't Bob. It was, uh, Bennett. Oh, Sam Bennett. Yeah. Bennett. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, because he, he won the cons smite going into a contract here. And then Vegas, it was Marsha. That is nice. Yeah, huge. And then he took a fucking discount. Marcia so won. All right, think, think about guys who have multiple cups. What about like, what about like, um, uh, like, did you, Littstrom, Igerman?

Did you get one of these? Oh, no, Chris. Yeah, no. Oh, Iserman is, or what about Nick Lidstrom? No. Oh, Chicago. Kane? Oh, uh, no.

I think they all three. I think they split all three of those. Yeah. It's like Crawford. Yeah, Keith. Yeah. Yeah. I think Duncan did win one.

Um, what about like the Islanders dynasty? Oh, like, some one. It's not bossy. I'll give you a hint Yep Two of these guys are like pre-90s Pre-80s even Okay

Is there a hole on here There's no ball in old Oh, what about Bob Yor? Bing Bing, Bing, Baum. Oh yeah, Bob Yor's one You got two left Good one Did I need a Colorado win back then

That's what I was trying to think dude I was like... Yeah, and I was thinking Broad Street bullies Flyers Yeah, yeah right same But good call on the abs Like did Sackick

Yeah, Sackack or Foresburg. No. No. But you're close with Avs. Waugh? Oh, yeah, Patty Waugh? Oh, yeah, Patty Waugh. Maybe he won in Montreal and then in Colorado?

Yes. There you go. Wow, dude, that is sick. No. You've got one left. Didn't he win the Kahn Smyth? Or did he just win the cup as a rookie in Montreal? I think we won the cup as a rookie.

Yeah, yeah. That's right. God, that's so badass. Good for him. This one's going to be a little tricky, so I'll give you one obscure hint. You may be in trouble with this person if you don't clean up your room. What the fuck? Your mom or dad?

Your parents. Yeah. Chris is close. Parents, I said. Oh, Perrant? Yep. Oh, nice. Yes, Marty.

Just got to change the pronunciation a little bit. Perrault. Wow. That is awesome. That's awesome. Okay. Let's keep going through this. Other than Wayno, who has won the Art Ross trophy with two teams?

And this is one person only. That's Joe, again. Yeah, I think so. That's the same. Oh, oh, oh, good call, Dan. You are correct. Yeah, Joe Thorin. You are correct.

Nice. Nice. Okay. Who has won, other than Wayne Gretzky, five or more Art Ross trophies. And this has... Five is crazy. Four people. this category.

Five is... Gotta be Mario. Yeah. That is correct? Gotta be the rocket, Marty? Like, is this? I feel like he's a... I feel like Richard's...

I feel like Richard's not coming up a lot on these things. He does not. He is surprising. He has not any... Gordy Howe one of them, too? Oh, oh, good, good, yeah. Gordy? Gordy how.

Oh, Gondon. Gordy how is correct. You know what this probably is his fucking Yager. Bing. Yeah. Yager. No way. Yager is a weapon, man.

Like, Jesus Christ, that's insane. He rolled the 90s for me. I feel like you forget about a lot of that stuff because the way he bounced around at the end. Yep, 100%. So you've got Yager, Mario, Gordy, and you're missing one. You can't really go to like 80s, 90s because that was like Wayne and Marlon. Well, you can. Is it Messier?

You can and you should. It is not Messier. And I'll give you a small hint. This person has connections to Florida. Oh, you know who this is, dude? Who? Espo. Oh, great guess. It is Phil Espo.

Incredible. Incredible guest, Dan. Wow. Nice. That's crazy. Yeah. Okay. Who has scored 700 plus career goals other than Wayne Gretzky? And this has OV?

OV? I mean, yes. Well, I know that to be true, but his name is not on here. So when did this quiz come out? Is it like not active players? No, because Kraz is. Sid was on the cons might thing. Goals, though, not points.

All right, so we've gotten a lot of these already. Like, these are repeat names. Yep. So, like, Ovi, um, hull. Yep. Bing-Bong, Hull is correct. Yager. We'll be on here again.

Yager. Messier. Espo will be on here again. Esposito, yes. Was Mess on there, Evan? Messier was not on there. Really? Oh, wow.

Fuck. Is Caner? No, no, no, no. 700 fucking goals. All right. So hold on, we have Yager, Hull, Espo, Gordy. Yeah, you're missing two more. Mario?

No, not on here. Damn. 700 is so many actors. Who made this so many goals? Mike Bossy? Oh, nice. No? No.

Fuck, he must be. But there is a Mike on there. Madonna? No. I was like, there's no way. Datsook? Older. No, not that many goals.

Oh, yeah, not that many goals. Mike, there's a Mike. Who is the Mike that has a million goals? Well, 700 plus. Is he an older guy? Yeah. I think. I'm going to double check that because I don't even know.

Yeah. His career ended in 98. There's a Mike who has 700 goals who retired in 98. Oh, Mike Gardner. That is correct. Oh. Wow. And yours is only one more.

And the hint is very French sounding. Didn't we say the rocket? it? You can say it. You did not say it. Oh. And you would not be correct if you said. No way. Thank you. Thanks for, thanks for teasing me like that. We should all get this given where we are. Oh, no. No. Marcel Dionne. Yep. Oh, yeah. That is it? Yeah. Yep. Okay. We have three more categories left. Let's go through them.

Who other than Wayne Gretzky has 15 plus all-star selections. There are two players in this category. That's amazing. Think about longevity here. Yep. Sid? No, sir. That's shocking to me. Maybe he does now. Maybe he does now. Maybe he does now if it's old, you know? I bet Sid and Ovi do now. I mean, Sid and Ovi? Okay, so, Sid, like, this quiz must be outdated, because Sid and Ovi are definitely on that list.

Okay, is it, is it selected or actually went? Yeah. In 2019. Dude, that's always the thing. Oh, yeah. Evan just said this is only updated in 2019. So this quiz you've given us, Chris, is bullshit. It was an awesome quiz.

It is a good quiz, but it's bullshit. Ray Bork, I bet, is on here. That's correct. Yeah, is it? Oh, yeah. Single fucking, I'll say. Ray Bork. One after shot?

No, there's one more. Stevie Y? No, but you're close. It's crazy. Chelly. You're in the region. Chelly? Oh, we're in the region.

Oh, it's fucking. It's Gordy. Gordy played a thousand years. Gordy Howe? Yeah, he did. He played a million years. Other than Wayne Gretzky, who has scored 30 plus career hat chicks? This is one, two, three, four.

That's such a chance. Four people. 30 plus hatrix is fucking easy. Mario. Mario is in there, yes. I mean, I don't even think I ever had a Hattie in practice. Yeah, I do. I know.

God, damn, that's an insane amount of goals. That's wild. Sorry, what was that one? This is Mario for sure. We've said Mario and that's correct. Three more. Ovi? No, well.

Yeah, all right. Pre- 2019. Pre-COVID. Is that what it is? Pre-COVID list? Throw your masks in the trash. Okay, maybe ESPO though. Yeah, that is true.

Okay, nice. All right, so you got two left. I'm going to go a Marty guest from earlier. boss he's on here. Yeah. Bing, Bing, Bing. Yeah.

Huge. God, that's my goat, dude. Bossy's insane. He was so fucking good. One more. He was one who did 50 and 50, right? Didn't he?

Yeah. Yeah. Dude, Marty, he, one year, he scored 38 goals and retired. He was like, I'm humiliated, I'm quitting. And I was like, that's insane. That's wild. And then one more? Yeah.

The Rocket? How has he not done anything? Yeah. I don't think this man has existed. The Rocket and Rashard exists. Seriously. Yager? No, it is not Yager.

Good one. Surprisingly. How the fuck? Sorry, who do we have right now? We have Espo, Bossie, and Lemieux. You've got one more. How the fuck is Richard not on any of these things? Yeah, I don't get that.

I mean, Ove's got to be one, though. Yeah, I mean, Ovechkin absolutely should be on this list because he's scored 35 hat tricks. Yeah, I mean, the OV and Sid, I think, are on these lists more often than they are showing. Yeah. Brett Hall. Patrick Cain? Brett Hall is correct. Hall.

Hall. Nice, Dan. All right. You've got... And we don't have to do the last one of because it's just points. Yeah. Okay. So we can skip that one.

Yeah. So good job. Hey. Brett Hall did. A lot of fucking stats up there. Dude. And to think about, think about this. Like, we just did that list.

Wayne has done all of those. Yeah. That's the list of stuff that Wayne did. That is insane. Starting to think this Wayne Greski guy. guys pretty good at hockey. Wayne Jetsky. So stupid.

Duane Jetsky. That commercial is so stupid. Gets me every time. Good God. All right, let's take a quick ad break and then we'll discuss some Islanders jerseys. Chris, take it away.

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We're looking at them right now and we're going to give our thoughts on them. First of all, we, because you've been gone all summer. We haven't discussed this. I think this is one of the fucking coolest things I've ever seen in my life that the Islanders did this. I think it's sweet. And you know why it was so effective is because they limited options. This is like when you have like a random city is like we're going to name the like the, like, the town dog and you have like four options and then there's a vote in and then someone put

something preposterous in and that wins. If they had let this just be completely open, it would have been out of control. But like the options thing was so effective. There needs to be guard rails in this. Needs to be guard rails. That's exactly what it was. And I'm actually, you could pick between a lot of shit. Oh yeah. But they did have guards. There was like an infinite number of options. But I'm going to, I'm going to be very honest. I think both of these two finalists, are fantastic. Both these jerseys are very cool. Do you guys agree? Go to look at the picture of the four semi-finalists. Are you glad these two are in the finals? Or do you think there was an upset? No, I'm glad the, I think these are the two correct ones. Listen, I love the fisherman aisle,

but we've seen it before. Like it was, they used the fishermen last year or like the year before on the reverse retro or something. Yeah. Wow, the top right just got out edge. Just out. I kind of like that one. I like the top. I like that one, too. Well, I wish the final was the two top. Yeah, me too. So I like that one too. Wow, really. Okay, I'm going to get outvoted here.

I like that one too, but what I love about the NY one is the NY is on the shoulder of the Islanders one. So we're getting... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You're getting a little bit of both. I love the... I love the Islanders one. Like, Kevin, go back to the two finalists.

I like the one on the right. And so does... So does Matt Barzell, Dan. He did it. He did it. He released his pick. And he says he wants it to be that. Okay. Which is obviously going to influence the fans.

I love the lighthouse. But something about, it makes me think of like old school football, the one on the right. Like that, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a stripe in the middle. It's where on my head. It's like, what's your mascot? It's this stripe across my chest.

Like, that's it. They're like, don't you see the stripe? What? You don't have a, no, that's, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I just think, like, I think the socks will look sick with that. like the cream in the middle of the sock.

I love the lighthouse, but there's something like almost too colorful about that. I don't like how the lighthouse is crooked. I feel like it's about to tip over. It's the leaning tower of lighthouse. Yeah, it's like, get that lighthouse straight, guys. I can see how like the lighthouse might be a little cartoony.

It's a little cartoony. Not as professional, but I kind of like it too. I love it. I mean, it's a light. Also, that one's going to win. I just. You think?

You think so? I mean, if you go back to the, to the, the semifinals, like that one beat the shit out of the fishermen. Like, that's a pretty substantial. I think people like the lighthouse so much. They also like something new. Like, that's completely new.

Like, that hasn't been seen before. You also know a bunch of kids are voting on this. Yeah. Kids love a lighthouse. I would be interested, Dan, to see the lighthouse one in the other one's color scheme. Like, to get that cream in there. That would be cool. Maybe there, maybe it was, though, and it got killed on the way.

That's a good point. Like, if you dull the colors, down a little bit, does the lighthouse seem as cartoonish? Right, exactly. Do it in black and white, like the movie, the lighthouse. I mean, we get our pat. Yeah, we get our pat and Willem Defoe. If you replace the turquoise blue with cream on that one, I bet that jersey would

slap. Like, that might get gas, dude. We can't, we can't do it, though. We can't even open that door. But either way. Why not? Can we get AI to flip it? We can get cheese on the phone right now, and he'll tell, he'll take care of.

Geez, come on, man. Get this dialed in here. What are we talking about? They just have an announcement. We're restarting the entire thing. Fanatics is just losing its mind. It's like, we got to run one of these. The Boys on the Netters podcast actually said we have to do this.

So there you go. Either way, dude, huge win by the Islanders. I'm thrilled with either one, dude. You're so right. I love it. I love it. All right. Last bit of hockey news here, you wanted to bring up bad Vlad, Chris.

Dude, I just had a question. We have Marty back. Yeah, we need to discuss this. Every week, Marty, there's like nothing happening. So NHL.com's like, here are the best remaining free agents. And I'm like, yeah, I know. I've seen that article 100 times. And like, no one cares.

Yeah, exactly. But I saw on this one, because like bunting was the top name, but there was a picture of bad Vlad. And I was like, oh yeah, I forgot. He was unsigned. And I was like, he's probably 37 and had six goals last year. So I get it. And then I clicked on him. And it was like, he's 34.

And in 75 games. he had 23 tucks and 24 assists. And he had three years ago signed a one year 5 AAV for the Sends and then signed a two year four-seven-five AAV for the wings was then traded to the wild. But I was like, clearly you could get him for like four and he's going to give you 25 goals. And I was like, what is happening? Why isn't, why does no team think he is worth $4 million to give you 25 goals?

That's my question. Well, I think that probably a lull right now is because. all these GMs, like, they try to take some time off. Yeah. So I think that there's just a natural. Yeah. Yeah. They go, they go to their place back home for a bit.

Yep. And then I would say that chatter probably picks up maybe like a week ago. Yep. Now. I think we're going to start seeing some things happen. Yeah. Because look at, you're back. This is when people start coming back.

Yeah. Except I don't play. Yeah. I don't play. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But we're, it's like, You're, you, we've got the same. I mean, it's like, when we're talking to, it's like kids. All these jeans have kids. Like, the kids are going back to school. Guys are coming back home now. I do think in the next week or so here, we're going to see a lot of these guys get scooped up.

And, like, some of these, like, we, we, there was news about Cutters deal. Like, apparently he turned down four years, 13 mil, which is good. Dude. Good. Good. Has anyone had a worse summer than Pat for Beak? True. No chance.

Me? Just me. Yeah. You keep breaking your hand. Hey, but I bet you doesn't have a nice. of a haircut as you do right. That's right, dude. He's struggling.

There you go. I got you. It is, I do think we're going to start seeing some stuff happening here. But, I mean, there's so many teams I'm looking at. I bet Vlad is being also a little picky about where he signs to. Fair. Like, he's definitely at the point in his career where he's not just signing anywhere. Right?

Yeah, that's probably true. He's a contributor, dude. Like, he is not old. and it's going to score 20 goals. Like, that is extreme value for $4 million. Yeah, I mean, gosh, there's just like a lot of teams that could use him. The only problem is with that, it's like you run the risk a little bit of some of these teams. Like, money dries up.

Like, I know cap went up, but it's like a lot of these teams they have, they sign their guys. They sign who they want it. Like, their plan is set. Yep. Dude, there are three. I don't know. There's probably only a select few teams. teams that have money to allocate.

There are three teams currently with negative cap space. And then there are one, two, three more that have less than a million. And then Minnesota only has 1.15. L.A. has 1.78. And then Rangers, Blackhawks and Islanders are all under three. So like you're absolutely right. There's like a ton of teams that have, they have locked up their money. It's kind of crazy that the Blackhawks.

and sharks all have less than 3.5. Two teams that, like, were yesterday, had 30 mil. Now are like right up. The sharks, I can't even talk about, dude. It's insane. Well, it's weird, though, like, when you go through that as a player, I mean, if you're the top guy that's getting, you know, you're on, like, the tour, right?

That's a little different. But if you're, I don't even want to say, because I wouldn't consider Teresanko a bubble guy now, obviously, at 20, but, like, there's an element when you're going through it where you're like, hey, you know, all these teams, even though they're talking to you, like they have contingency plans. Yeah. You know, like, you'd be a fool to think that you're the only person that they're trying to talk to

because you can't put all your eggs in one basket, right? For sure. And so there's an element of that when you're a player where you're like, there's a little bit of urgency on your side of things. Like, you think that being a UFA is super fun. It's awful. You know who should sign him? I feel like we're talking a lot of Pittsburgh Penguins today.

But the penguins have like 10 million cap space. He'd be great there. Like, are you, they've also got sneaky, a lot of Russians on this team now. Are they getting Robertson, though? Like, is that still a thing? No, I know, because he signed. No. Yeah, I know, but like sign and trade flip.

So he signed like one year. One year. Yeah. That could happen. I mean, Nick Robertson's on the team. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. Like, that was the speculation, right?

We get your brothers so we can lure this guy. We've got. We got the twins, man. They've got Gino, they've got Chinokov, they've got Kuzmanko now, too. Did they sign Kuzmanko? Yeah. Okay. Throw flat in there.

I like it, Dan. It'd be great. Yeah, a few Russians on, yeah. But that one's definitely one to keep an eye on. I'm curious. It's going to heat up that. What's San Luis got, like, a coming home tour? Genuinely, I was thinking that, too.

That's, I think St. Louis has just under five in, yeah. Yeah, just, it's like, that's enough, dude. That'll get them. Bring him home. That'd be great. Yeah, yeah. That's actually a cool idea. Yeah.

I'd be into that too. Like give him two and a half if he'd want that. I mean like. But a lot of guys love St. Louis too. Love that have families and all that. We just had neighbors on the show and like that was a huge talking point. We were like, everyone fucking loves it. And he was like, dude, it is like the sneakiest best place in the world.

Yeah, yeah. Well, that's why their alumni association is the biggest, I think, out of anyone in the league. I think that's, who just told us that? Was that EJ? E.J. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's, I think it is like number one or two alumni association in the league, which is so nails. Yeah.

Love that. All right. Let's take another quick ad break and then get into some fraud watch, top hits, maybe a blind ranking. Come on. This episode of the Empty Netters podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp. Listen, summer is coming to an end here. Seasonal depression is a very real thing. You might have some mental health stuff going on, might be struggling with different things.

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fraud watch we like to start with fraud watch all right um this is kind of you know i thought like my about my summer okay um did a fair bit or a fair bit of traveling okay so i guess my fraud watch. I don't really know where the blame lies in this. If it's like the FAA, if it's like Chicago O'Hare. But like, okay, so like let me set the table a little bit. Like I am not a hurried traveler. Okay. Yeah. You know, like I, two hours before, like no chance, unless I'm flying with the kids and you got car seats and all that. Sure. So like I'm a very, like, if I get there any sooner than like a hour before I board. I'm like, what am I doing here?

You know? Yeah. You're not a lounge guy. I enjoy a lounge and a layover, but like I'm not getting... You don't need to get to the airport early to like sit there and then get on the plane. No. Okay. All right.

I mean, if it works out, great. Like, if you're traveling with people, you're flying out of something and, you know, oh, yeah, I'll go like a half hour, hour early to like split an Uber and I'll go sit in the lounge. Okay. But like, my whole thing is back in the day, Like a two-hour layover is no longer safe. Like what happened? Like you could potentially miss the flight.

Yeah, you could miss the flight. That happened to me too. Yes. And I'm like, and I don't know like where I live in Northern Michigan, a common spot to have to connect. Like we have a fair amount of direct flights. But if you want to go like if you want to come to L.A., you got to go through like Chicago or Detroit. Yeah, yeah. Detroit's great.

I love that airport. I mean, I'm probably biased. No, dude. that airport fucking rocks. It's awesome, right? Rocks. Yeah. Rocks.

But O'Hare, it's like sometimes the, after you touch down and then you get to the gate, like that's longer than your flight itself. Dude. There's something going on with that airport, but then it just messes everything else up because it's like, all right, you have the flight time, but then you're stuck at the gate because everyone else, like there's too much traffic. Like what's going on here? A two-hour layover is just no longer safe.

Yeah, I've had a lot of problems at O'Hare. This is a good fraud watch. I, it's the shuttles, dude. There's like too many shuttles. Like, I land and you think you're fine. And then it's like, well, you actually have to get on this shuttle to get to this terminal. And then it's a 35-minute walk in the terminal to the gate. But then you're also sitting at the gate on the plane for 20 minutes.

Yeah, that's the killer for me. Kill a taxi. Is the taxi to and from. And like the one time we were flying to Zach White Cloud's wedding up in, and I mean, I'm going from Northern Michigan at Colonna, BC. And like that's from one tough spot to another tough spot. You're on a sea plane. My 33 week pregnant wife at the time, we're like sprinting through the Toronto airport. Like it, I ran so hard it registered as a run on my whoop. Like, so we could make the next bird or else we were stuck overnight in Toronto. But we had a two-hour layover and it was just poof gone. We landed with 23 minutes till the next or 27 minutes. Yeah. So that's mine, that's mine, man.

Like what happened? I want to go next because mine is about planes also, but I want to piggyback on something about yours. I genuinely get upset when I'm on a plane and we're stuck on the plane for a while. And finally, the pilot goes, hey, some people on this plane have an extremely tight connection. to get through this Toronto airport to get to the next flight. And they'll even be like, please raise your hands. And like a bunch of people on the plane are like me.

And then they go, please stay seated so those people can leave. And then we pull up to the gate and they're like, ding. And literally everyone gets up. Oh, God, I hate that. Bro. Like, why are you? And it's not even for me. I don't have the connection, but I'm just like, sit down, dude.

Let them go. It drives me fucking insane. We could do an entire episode of fraud watches for air travel. It's insane. I was actually thinking about, you know what? No. Keep going, Chris. Well, I'll just do mine.

And we don't have to dwell on it because I know everyone hates it, but this just happened to me on this flight here, long flight, L.A. to Boston. And I had a during the day flight. Like usually I'm flying really late or really early, but it was like, you know, 9 a.m. So I was like, great. I'm going to crank work on this plane.

And I get on, I buy the Wi-Fi for $8, and it just like doesn't work, you know? And I'm like, dude, it's not about the $8, but I'm like, the audacity to charge everyone on this plane $8. and then just the Wi-Fi doesn't work at all. And I'm like, how are we as advanced as we are as a society? And the Wi-Fi just doesn't work on this plane, which you have promised me it does. And I won't stand for it.

Insane. Yeah, the high-speed Wi-Fi, like high-speed is such a loosely thrown-around term. Loose term. Like high-speed, like as compared to what? Dial-up? Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Yeah. Actually, shout out Starlink. I had that on a JSX flight. It's pretty sweet. It's like if I quote Rick Ross, I just saw he outfitted his PJ with it. And he's like, it's like I'm sitting at my crib. Yeah. You know?

That's what he said. That was his quote. And it's true. I watch YouTube TV. Did you really? I was late because I got so delayed long story coming back from Scotland. Yeah. And I flew in for game four of the final in Vegas.

Yeah. And I was, I was, I got so delayed that I missed the first half of the game, but I was watching it on YouTube TV on my phone. And you were like, I'm watching the game. And I'm watching the game. And there was no lag, no buffer. So Starlink, man. Yeah. I love it. I was on a Starlink flight recently and I got a call. I got a phone call. And I was like, I was up in the airplay. And I was like, what the fuck? And I like, ignored it. And I was like, what did that even happen? That's not on airplane mode. That's not on airplane mode. That's not on airplane. And the plane immediately nose dives and starts crashing. You didn't have it on airplane mode. What is going on here? Also, and you're staring down the barrel of an air marshal, you know?

Yeah, he's just like, I look over to him and he's just like, peace. Yeah. It does suck how pampered we are as a society, but I'm so with you. When the Wi-Fi doesn't work, I get so mad. And I'm like, I'm like, did I need to do stuff? I know. Louis C.

This is my excuse to fucking not have anybody bother me for two fucking hours. Honestly, we should be more like that. Yeah. It is. Louis C.K. has a good bit about it. that like how quickly you become jaded like it's true yeah the second we get offered something nice when it's not that nice again it is where we turn into it's all just fat little pigies it's terrible yeah uh Evan you're I we're running along so I'm gonna abstain okay you guys go ahead I didn't we got

plenty plenty to work through here I feel very passionate about this one my fraud watch is being indecisive mm I think it is too often people try to cloak being indecisive by going, I'm down for whatever. I'll go with the flow. And I'm like, you know what? No. You're being a piece of shit.

Dan, though, what if somebody goes like this? I'll do whatever. And then you say, well, pick. Like, what would you prefer? And then they immediately answer. Is that okay? Like, is someone allowed to be like, I have a preference, but I will go with the flow. I don't care that.

That's good because that's not being indecisive. because they have then made a decision. And I'm going to go even one further. If let's keep it, this is like the age old one is what are we going to eat? When someone goes like this, let's make a decision I'd like to go somewhere to eat. And someone lists four options. I think that person sucks because you're not helping. You like you need to submit a smaller list. I would, I'd rather you just pick one. Because if there's like five of us and you go, I would do. I would do. You, pizza, I do burgers. I'm like, why don't you just tell me what you want because then we at least know one of us wants something. And that might- I think a list is okay at first. I don't give a shit

what you think this is my fraud watch. Fair, fair. I think that you are on fraud watch because I'm like, if we if it's multiple people, we're already dealing with multiple options. So why don't you pick one option to make the list smaller? I know that you probably want one of those things. so tell me what you want. I think this, like, we have gotten to this point where people try to cloak it by saying that they're down for whatever. They'll go with the flow.

Here's, I'm going to present all these options, but really you're presenting nothing. I think people need to be more decisive. I think people need to go, this is what I would like. And if someone vetoes that, fine, but at least you made a decision. I have two comments to that. I think you're in.

Yeah, yeah. You go, Marty. No, you go. Well, all I was going to say was his, you're largely, or it is your fraud watch, but I largely agree with you. I wish people were more decisive, but I will push back on the, sometimes a list is okay to get us going. You know what, dude, you would be that because you are indecisive. No, because then if I say pick from the list, I'll pick. Did I not, just the other day, did I not text you about something where I was like,

what do you think about this? Don't give me a million fucking answers. Just tell me the one thing. And I gave you one and you gave me no time. I was thinking. And you go, answer. And I was like, I'm thinking. But the reason I did that is because I know, I know you. You're like, I, I'll ask you a simple question that has one answer. Dare I say you two need to just sign up for better help? Like, this is a family, this is a family airing of grievances.

Like, is it Thanksgiving right now? Yes. Like, what are you guys? You want to talk politics next? This happens. Good Lord, you too. This happens in the annex, too. It's like I, I just need people to just give me one answer more often.

Like you're not easy going. You're not going with the flow. You are being indecisive. And I need people to just fucking pick. What were the two things that you wanted to say? Well, one, when it comes to like picking the food thing. Yeah. I think, you know like the new age food court?

Yes. Those are dynamite. Because you just go there and everyone can just get what they want. Yeah. And it's usually good food. Like, you know what I mean? Like the ghost kitchen type model. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. I'm a big fan of that. But then the other one, it's like the hack that I saw on Instagram, like when you can't get your girlfriend or your wife to pick, you know, whatever restaurant, you just get in the car and you tell her, I'm going to surprise you. And then you make her guess, but then you just drive to wherever she, wherever she guesses. Oh, my God. This genius. Yeah.

It's like, hey. It's like, hey. It's like, and you're like, but it only works a few times and then she'll catch on and be like, she's like, you're not, this is not a surprise. Like, how do I guess it first every time? Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever gone? Like, it's like if you're sitting with M and you're like, hey, like, I'm going to order dinner. And you go, I would like blank.

And M's like, well, I would like this. That has happened to me before and I've been like this. Well, we don't have to get the same thing. I'll order from here and you order from there. And I've done that before. And Alice was like, no, I would like us to order from the same thing. And I'm like, why? I don't like the separate like take out a order thing.

Okay. Because then it comes a different time. and like that is that is fair that like the different arrival could be an issue and you're paying double the fees like your last fraud watch that's true yeah that's the killer yeah yeah yeah you know what that's that was a bad suggestion that there's too many variables there you got to mix in um her second guess you know yeah one time you go guess and she guesses and you go nope and then the thing she says next you just go to that one then then you buy yourself a few more times you know where she's like this is real yeah what what if uh what if what if your significant other

self-loathing and she guesses something she hates. That would be a tough. Oh man, you're taking me to freaking Denny's again? Yeah. She's like, let me guess we're going to fucking burr. Yeah, yeah. And you're just committed to the bits and you're like, yes. I guess we're going to Denny's the asshole.

Well, yeah. Listen, I stand by this. Being indecisive is so fucking annoying and inconsiderate. People need to just say what they want. Make decisions. Are we snake drafting this? Sure. Okay.

My top hit is color. Hell yes. How about that? Colors is my top hit. I am decorating a guest room right now and I started looking up some inspo. I was like going through a bunch

of different like videos and photos and I think that we are in an air. I know that this isn't a hot take. I think this has kind of been trending. But I think we're in an era where like minimalism is is very hot right now. Like you go see places. Everything's kind of just.

like whites, grays, creams. And I started getting all these design ideas that was like old school, like 90s nostalgia and like old London stuff. Like everything was so colorful and cool. And it's like, I'm kind of like, damn, dude.

We miss that. I miss it. And it's like we should bring it back. Bring back colors. A little bold. Yeah. Dude. Like make a choice. The mine connect here. Yeah, once you get those Amazon packages out of there, you can paint it whatever color you want. Those are gone. I got all the room in the world.

No, yeah, I think, I'm colors, man. I'm bringing back colors. I'm all in, dude. I've, I don't, some things are forced upon you to not have color just because of the way the world is. But any chance I get to get some color in my life, I do it. Like if I'm getting new golf shoes or something, I'm always looking for the ones with a splash of color on it because I'm like, you do do that. Fuck yeah. I'll get you.

I'm proud of you for that. You go bold. Hold one second. Chris, you seem to be frozen, but it feels like you're still rolling. So I don't know if it's an issue. Yeah, it doesn't matter because the river sign is still record. All right, as long as you're rolling, we're just stuck on a very nice picture of you smiling. Nice.

The one thing, though, like when you do the color thing, like how many, when you have to go through that, there's so many whites. Dude. And it's crazy. It's exhausting. It's actually nuts. You know where I've run into that is I made the poor decision in my place to, I have a very, with furniture, I have a very cream theme. trying to match that shit with different brands is insane. There are so many different whites and creams.

It's crazy. You can't get the same tan beige cream of anything. It's insane. It's always different. Nuts. Horrible. That is so true. Chris, top hit. My top hit is having a pair of beater sneakers.

Like, I have all my shoes and I'm trying to figure out which ones to wear, but sometimes I just got to do shit outside where I'm like, I'm not cutting my own grass. in L.A., but just, you know, if I'm here, but this shit I got to do, I got to do, oh, we're cleaning out the garage or whatever. I love having a pair of sneakers that you never wear out socially, but you can just throw on to get shit done. That's unreal. The Mowing shoes. Yep, Mowing shoes. Or the painting outfit?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I have a tank top that's got all sorts of, talking about colors. Yep. There we go. Look at this. You've got colors everywhere. Guys, yeah. When I show up to a sporting event and there's a fucking extra, extra large t-shirt on the seat that's like, go penguins or whatever. I'm like, great. There's another outfit I'm going to wear when I paint my fucking room. I have a pair of gym shorts

that is just spattered with different paints on it. Because if I'm ever painting something or doing something, that's the gym shorts that I put on. Chris, no notes. Beater sneakers are necessary. Beater everything. Yeah. Evan, Evan, easy.

Easy, easy, easy. We don't need to beat everything. Beater, everything. It's like the shirt. shitty rag too that you need. Need a shitty rag. You know, like you always need one of those. Need a shitty rag.

The shitty towel. You know, it's like, okay. And then if it's, yeah, and then if it's like too banged up, you're like, well, I'll just toss it. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. No doubt about it. Yeah.

Need the shitty towel for sure. All right. My top hits are playgrounds. Oh, go on. Go on. I, uh, it's funny the things that you don't ever appreciate and then you have kids. and you're like, I will live and die by this place. Yeah?

Like this, like whatever kills a wake window, you know, like whatever keeps my kids happy. Uh-huh. And I thought of this because I was driving around, I was up for Zach White Cloud's wedding. Yeah. It was him and Nick Hague in the car, and we were driving to, I don't know, somewhere.

And I look out the window and we're just, you know, we're just chatting, we're catching up. Yeah. And then, you know, conversation kind of lulled. And I just sort of under my breath, but some kind of loud, I'm like, wow, that's a really nice playground that we just, like, drove by. And then they just immediately bust out laughing. And they're like, a year ago, you would have never said that. The fuck are you.

Correct. And I'm like, yeah. And honestly, it's like I catch myself, like, noticing that stuff now. And I'm like, oh, like, different. Like, even just shout out frisky market in, uh, in Atwood, Michigan. I think it's in atwood. It's like in between, well, it doesn't matter.

Hold on. Is this the name of the playground? Yeah, actually, when I say it out loud, that's not great. I don't love that name for a playground, for being honest. Okay, so Frisky Market, it's like, I think that it's a family name, and it was like a state senator or whatever, and it's an orchard, but they have a market, and then they have this unreal playground for the kids. Sure. And they're always, like, doctoring it up and, like, switching out stuff. But yeah, I suppose that might be like kind of a boring one, but it's like something that you learn to appreciate.

And it's like, I mean, my wife and I, we were there three days a week. Yeah. You know? For a ski market. Yeah. They get you in there with the playground for free under three. Yeah. You end up buying a dozen donuts, you know, that kind of thing.

It's that model. The bakery's unreal. That's sharp. Yeah. So when I think about it, I suppose once you have kids, I would get pretty fired up when I, if I saw like a clean, good playground. I'd be like, fuck yeah, that's good to know. Because, dude, is there anything gnarlier than when you drive by a sketchy ass playground?

We were talking about this like a few months ago, like on the show, like the sharp-edged metal slide back? Oh, we were talking about the Boston police slide guy or whatever. And Crystal is sorry about he's lost his pinky toe. Yes, but to be fair, those are great places when you're a little older to go smoke weed, I have an apple. You need your sketchy playgrounds for like, you know, 17. That is true.

It's not necessarily a good thing, but that is true. I need a grimy set of bleachers that I can go under, you know? There you go. Make out with somebody. Yeah. Damn. When you started, I was like, I don't think I'm going to get fired up about this, but here I am fired up about it. It's a game change.

A good playground. And you can tell when one's new, dude. Like when you go by and you can tell everything's new, you're like, holy shit. When it's all like the same matching color, like the slide and all that, you're like this. Also, quality mulch. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good quality mulch in that playground.

Dude, isn't that, wow, we were talking about that the other day. Like, when we were kids, we used to just be fucking, like, tossing each other around in wood chips and shit. Oh, yeah. I feel like if I fell in wood chips today, that would kill me. Yeah. Like, you'd come back covered in shrapnel. I could not handle that. Man, we had mulch day.

Speaking of that, like, in the springtime with my dad. It was the worst fucking day of the spring. Because, you know, I'd have to go with my dad to Home Depot. and one trip is never enough, and you're slinging these heavy bags, and then just the full day you're out in the sun and mulch in the yard. Yeah.

I hated that day. Oh, brutal. But you would see it at the end. For sure. You'd smell like that mulch for days. Oh, yeah. And it's like in your fingernails. Oh, deep in your fingernails.

Like whatever dye or stain. But is there anything cooler than having lunch after a mulch day and you're like grabbing a sandwich with like dirt caked in your fingernails? You just feel like such a fucking man. Yeah. And you crack like an ice cold Coca-Cola. Yes.

And it's got like the ice stuck in like the rim where you, you know. Pulled it right out of the cooler. I did that when my uncle in a log cabin out in West Virginia when I was about 14. But they were cutting up logs. So I was helping them cut up logs. And at the end of the day, they gave me one beer. I drank the whole beer and I passed out the rest of the night. I laid down and I was asleep.

Sounds like one of the best days of all times. It was pretty great. It's incredible. All right. Ev, let's close it. I mean, we're on a school topic here. Let's close things out today with a nice blind ranking of Evans choosing. Yes, since we are back to school or coming up to back to school,

we're going to rank the top five back to school items from the 90s from our childhood. Now, do you want to do actual school items or do you want to do shit that would get you in trouble? Oh. Let's do actual school items. Okay. Because I think that'll keep us on the mindset of we are, like, If we were going back to school, because, like, there were things going back to school, back to school shopping sucked, but there were some things I'd get that I'd be like,

these are, these look pretty sick. All right. And I'd get kind of fired up. Okay, here we go. Number one, scented markers. Wow, I remember that. Holy shit. I think I'm going to go.

I care less about the markers. I'm going low here. I'm going low here. I know some people. That felt, that felt very like maybe in like elementary school, I'd be happy about that. like they always wore off quick. Yeah, they never did it for me. Yeah, I like five.

I would feel like a bitch when I would show up with like the eight piece box of crayon or colored pencil and then someone would have like the 128 box, you know? And I was like, God, that is true. Like the three tier. It's like stadium seating creola box. Yes. And remember it had the top that like flipped open like a cigarette pack. You were like, good Lord, looking this shit.

That is. You want to roll it up in your sleeve? Yeah. Dude. That, oh my God. John Travolta in Greece. A kid with Crayola crayons rolled up in his white t-shirt sleeve would be maybe the hardest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Yeah, that is something we have to put in a movie.

Yeah, let's go five there. All right, we're going five. Okay, the next one is a rubber pencil grip. Remember those things? Oh, yes, I do. Those were cool. Before they made ergonomically designed. Yep.

pens and pencils. Those things, you would literally slide them onto your pencil. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dude, do you guys hold your pen and pencil the right way, like pointer finger thumb? I do not. Yeah, I do. Me neither.

I'm a middle finger hole guy. Wait. So the grips always fucked me up. You're supposed to rest it on your middle finger, though. I know, but where you put your pointer finger, I put my middle finger, and it rests on my ring finger. And my pointer finger just floats helpless. Oh, yeah.

That's crazy. Oh, yeah, pal. Wait, you write with your thumb and middle finger? Yep. Do we have a pen? I'm going to just hold my glasses. Yeah. Somebody got a pen. Like, that is...

Oh, there's no way. It's incredible. That's crazy. So your index finger is just like floating? Just lost, getting in the way all the time. It's like pinky's up. Yeah. But it's your middle finger?

It looks like he has rigamortis. No wonder you broke your hand. I'm down to go... Wait, are we talking when you write right now? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think right now. No, no, today.

Today. Today. You have pretty good handwriting, too, so that's kind of shocking. It's your strongest finger, dude. I'm dialed in. You guys are all fucking it up. Which, your middle finger is your strongest finger? Yep.

Is that true or is it just your biggest? I don't know. I just made that up. I think you made that up. It seemed like it was strong. Well, wouldn't your thumb be the strongest? Or is the thumb of finger? Are we going down that rabbit hole?

Wow. It's like is a hot dog a sandwich? Yeah. Fuck. That was good. Hot dogs are legs. Oh, shit. Oh, my God.

Listen, I could go kind of low here, too. I'm going four with that. Yeah, like, I didn't, like, listen, those things were cool, but I also thought you were kind of soft if you used it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so funny. That sounds like you're a bitch. All right, let's go for it.

Yeah. All right, here we go. A set of yikes pencils. Remember those? I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm going to have to Google that one. I'm getting brand specific here. Hold on.

Let me look it up. Chris, look up, yikes pencils. I'm going to. never seen these a day in my life you've never seen these no you've seen these dude they were fucking radical dude everybody yeah i remember these you don't remember this lady i will give you that they are radical like upon looking at photos they they are objectively radical look at these things is there any racer about that lady the lady dude yeah i forgot about her pencils your parents won't swipe were parents stealing pencils yeah i guess all right do you want me to strike that from the

And we move on. Yeah, maybe strike. I mean, we should know more about yikes, but maybe strike that one from the record. That's six for me. Yeah. I know we're only doing five. Okay, let's go branded lunchbox with thermos. So that can be like any cartoon, anything you want.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Specific to your thing. What was your lunchbox situation? Like that plastic one. Yep. The, what I think is cool is I thought these were cooler. Like, I never even really got these. I don't remember if a few had.

any, Dan? Nope. I don't know if we ever even had these, but I felt often jealous of them in a weird way. Like, I didn't even need it, but I was like, damn, that guy's got a cool lunchbox. Yeah. The matching lunchbox and thermos was definitely a thing. I never had it. But I remember kids having it, and I was like, that's pretty sick.

But you know what? These were always the things. Like, I felt this way with the scented markers thing. I was always so afraid of, like, looking. like a little kid in school. And I felt like the branded lunchbox. I was like, listen, that's cool for a bit. And then you hit an age where people are like, nice Ninja Turtles lunchbox,

you fucking tool. And I was always terrified of that. But then it comes back around where like, if you walked in with a Ninja Turtle's lunchbox, I'd be like, dude, that's... That's sick. Agree. You're absolutely right. Like, eventually once it becomes retro, it's cool.

But there is that window where it's dangerous. Well, I never went lunchbox. Like, in Michigan growing up, I think I'd always just... do the lunch at school. I was a hot lunch guy too. Hot lunch guy. I was a hot lunch guy. And then if I didn't, I just had a brown bag.

Yeah. Brown bag in it. I think we go three here. Yeah, I think so three. Yeah. Okay. Ti-89 graphing calculator. Oh my God, dude.

Texas Instruments. Texas Instruments. That, you are giving us a big delta here. Yeah, yeah. Those first few things are like elementary school. This is like, this, we're in high school now. I'm adjusting on the fly. Yeah.

motherfuckers didn't know what yikes pencils were i do i feel bad i feel like evan picked a bunch of things that he loved and were like shitting on all right trust me i hated school i fucking hated we got to do honorable mentions after yeah we absolutely do um i could go high here guys because i was a i was a i was a i had a friend download like all the games on my t i 83 so i was like in class just playing like tetris and snake and shit on that thing so good student. I could go one here. I mean, that thing was a weapon. I also used to, I used to bring cheat sheets and tape it into the back of the cover. Oh, yeah, that was, yeah, yeah, that was a huge thing. Like, that was that, that was our Swiss Army knife in school. Then the teacher would make you take out that

little card that slipped in the back. Oh, yeah, to make sure. But then you could also write notes on your TIA 3rd. That's what I was going to say, Dan. And you could put all your cheat sheet there. Yeah. I loved my calculator and I want to go one. But there's some. there's such cool shit possibly coming that I think we have to save it. I don't know. That's what I'm thinking. Okay. I would go one, but I think I, I'm hoping he says something.

Yeah. I, I, I, I, I, I, listen, I'll be outvoted here. We'll go to. I worry that Evan is reeling here for options. But the Ti-83 was so nasty. It was so nasty. Dude, the thing was a spaceship. Like, we got given that thing and it was, you could, the capabilities were endless.

Yeah. It actually was. It was crazy. Yeah. You kind of couldn't use regular calculators after that. Yeah. Because you'd be like, how do you do anything? No, the thing was that insane.

All right, let's go two and let's hope for a banger. Evan. All right, your number one is the trapper keeper with the Velcro strap. Yes. This is what I was waiting for. It's so good, dude. Yes. So good.

Except I didn't do Velcro. Well, sometimes Velcro, but then the zipper one? Oh, the five star. Yeah. You can say either. Yeah, Velcro zipper. Trapper keeper in general. You can say trapper keeper binder.

Pretty legit. I made you feel like you had like a briefcase as a kid. Like you felt very official and adult with that thing. That was cool. That was very cool. Remember jamming three ring binders into your backpack? Like you would break the three ring brinders. You'd be trying to put too much shit in there.

Chris, you had a backpack that was bursting at the seams, you fucking nerd. Dude, I gave me scoliosis. I believe my spine is crooked to this day based on what I did to that backpack. Were you the kid that just had this like giant Jansport? Like the three zippered one? No, Marty, you know what it was? And it hung so low. You know what it was?

L.L. Bean, because we're from Maine. Because that was in Maine. L.O. Bean was like, dude, you would have your monogrammed initials on the front. But it was like there was like a two-section backpack. Chris looked like he had three feet sticking off of his back with that back. I looked like a camper. You ever see people walking all camping? And they have like, it's taller than them.

That was me. I never used my locker once, dude. I literally would not use my locker once. I would just like, I needed all my stuff on me at all. I used to, I remember. I used to keep my, like when I would have classes on one day and then classes on another day, I would keep my shit in my locker like overnight. And he would think it was the craziest.

He was like, what if you need that binder? And I was like, I'm not thinking about that class if I don't have the class. And he was, he couldn't process it. I got one that just came to mine. I can't believe I didn't say this. But remember those spandex reusable book covers? Oh, yeah, brother. They were like tie-dye or different designs.

Okay. So I was going to bring that up as, honorable mention, but I wouldn't do that. We would take paper bags from the supermarket. And then you can doodle on them, right? Or you can write the subject that you just covered up. Dude, remember how cool it was, like, kids who were good at art and they would design the shit out of their book covers? And I was like, damn. That was not me. I, you know what's funny? That was the whole thing. We would get our textbooks and we would have to cover them. And I remember at the time being like, this is so fucking stupid and annoying. Why do we have to do this? It's genius. Like that process probably made all those textbooks last years longer than they have otherwise. Absolutely. I mean, as an adult, you can look back on that and really appreciate it.

Chris, a question, though, so with this big backpack, is a big, were you a single strapper or a double strapper? Oh, dude. So at our school, I don't know about Michigan, but in Maine, or in the era that we were, you know, you and I at the same age, in the era that I was in school. I hit the window of double strap was death. Like if you double strapped, you were dead. You were a fucking nerd. Oh my God. You were an absolute muggle if you double strapped.

It was tough. Yeah. Double strap is all the way back now. And I remember, like, I remember this, a girl in high school who was like a really smart and great athlete. Everyone liked her so much. She double strapped one day. And it was like Regina George. Like everybody was like, wait, are we all double strapped?

strapping down. Like I distinctly remember that moment, but going through middle school and early high school when I had the big backpack, one strap and dude, it was always, I was always a left shoulder, which I know is weird. Like all my righty friends are all right shoulder, but I was always left shoulder single strap. But I thought you were going to say it. Wait, what? Ruin her. But no, she actually established the trend. She was, she was that powerful. Yeah, she was that powerful. Who wasn't? She came and took over the school. Abby Boone. This fucking kid and Abby Boone, dude. It's unbelievable. The one that got away or what? Oh, yeah.

Like, he's just like, anything Abby Boone did. He was like, the coolest thing in the world. I will say Abby Boone was so sick at soccer, and that was very cool. And so smart, dude. She was like, she was like a head in, she was younger than me. She was like in my advanced Cal classes, a grade below me and was like triple varsity letter and everything. Abby Boone, if you're listening, come on the podcast.

We want to know what you're up to. Yeah, we want to. I mean, her sister, Emily, is a dear friend. She's great. Also sick at soccer. I've got a lock one. honorable mention for me. Okay.

This I, dude, I got this thing through college. It was the, I want to get the brand. Let me see if I can come up, find the brand. Oh, yeah, I got it. It was the five-star notebook. Yeah. Five-star was the brand. It was that big, fat notebook, spiral notebook.

And it had different sections. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. And I would use each section for like different class. Because there was also folder slots in each of the section dividers. That thing, you would buy that. thing and it was about this thick. By the end of the year for me it was like this thick. Burst enough. It was just packed with stuff, notes. The five star three spiral notebook was my fucking fastball. That is such a good one. I love that thing. Do you guys, do you guys remember the

plastic, um, like pen holder, I guess you would call it? It was just like a plastic rectangle box that would open, but people would put their pens and stuff in it. It was like, yeah, pens and pencils. It was like clear at the bottom, but then a color on the top. And it was like, they were a little like bumps or ridges on it? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it looked like. I think it was called like a placemaker. Oh, okay, yeah, that might be right.

Yeah, yeah. Everyone had that, dude. Like, that was like, oh my God. And I would just be like firing loose pens in my backpack. People were like, you're a savage. Kids would keep like, remember, remember V darts, dude? You'd like roll up paper, turn it into a V and then sling it with a, uh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kids would, like, keep their V darts in there. Like, if you were a bad kid. Oh, it was called Space Maker. Space maker. Space maker. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's right here. That thing was huge.

Loved that thing. That thing was sick. Everybody had that. Speaking of that five-star notebook, you cram it. And by the end of the year, like, you're having to re-spiral the metal because the little hook that keep it would just burst. Yeah. Absolutely.

Yes. And that's when you knew you were in the thick of it. You were like, we are fucking battling right now. Yeah. Yeah. I still, to this day. when I go into a staples, I get smacked with a flashback of going back to you.

I doubt it. Like you smell the inside of a staples. Oh, yeah. The rubber and the paper. You're like, I am headed back to school. Yeah. You got the list that like your teacher gave. Like, this is all the things that you got to have.

Yes. God damn. Man, what a time. School sucked. Yeah. I didn't like it either. School was, I mean, it was so great for so many reasons. But then there was just like,

also just the anxiety of gearing up to go. Homework and all that shit. Good luck, kids. I think we do school wrong. You should be doing the work at school. We're there all day for a reason. But instead, they just make it do us at home. It's insane.

Homework. It is insane. I would have stayed longer just to be done. Yeah. All right. Good list. I feel like I could talk about this forever. I agree, dude.

I'm so happy you're back. Like, where this is like, there's been so much, this is a Seinfeld episode. There's so much nothing in this episode. and it's the most fun I've ever had. So, beautiful stuff. Hope you guys enjoyed. As always, subscribe. Five-star reviews, Spotify, Apple, if you can.

We love you guys. Marty, it's so good to have you back. It's good to be back. And Chris, Marty and I are going to have a great weekend celebrating my birthday. You are a scumbag. And I will see you. I'm actually devastated to miss the, when Dan told us, because Dan has a Sweden trip coming up,

and I thought he was going to be gone for his birthday, and then he wasn't gone. And then I had, and I was like, I don't even have to tell him that I was going to be gone. And then I had to finally admit that I was missing his birthday. And it's devastating. Correct. But the fomo is,

the fombo is pulsing through my veins. We could zoom you in, I guess. Yeah, yeah, I'll take that. I'll take a FaceTime. Yeah, yeah. Let the birthday boy decide. Yeah, we'll see.

We'll see. But in the meantime, Chris, tell everyone what they should do over the weekend. Skate hard.