Empty Netters Podcast - The Maple Leafs Have The Defending Champs On The Ropes | EP.192
Episode Date: May 8, 2025The Emergency Response Maple Leafs slap Florida in the mouth again and take a 2-0 series lead. Mikko Rantanen continues his revenge tour and bags another hat trick as Dallas wins the series opener. Bu...t Hellebuyck stands tall in a great performance that makes it look like the Jets will respond immediately. The boys play a game of 67 Leafs themed 2 Real and 2 Fake. They also discuss ways to implement the traditions of the Papal Conclave into more everyday life moments NEW EPISODES EVERY TUESDAY & THURSDAY! PRESENTED by BetMGM. Download the BETMGM app and use code “NETTERS” and enjoy up to $1500 in bonus bets if you lose your first wager! SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: LABATT BLUE. It’s time for you to get on board with our favorite beer in the game. Labatt Blue and Labatt Blue Light are the perfect beverages to wet your whistle while you’re watching hockey or hanging with friends. That’s because there’s a little bit of Canadian kindness in every sip. Go to https://www.labattusa.com/product/labatt-blue/ to find some SKIMS. http://www.skims.com/netters From technically constructed briefs and ultra-soft boxers to the most comfortable tanks and tees you’ll ever wear, these foundations will keep you going 24/7. 00:00 INTRO 00:20 NOT ICE 26:31 LEAFS / CATS 52:39 STARS / JETS 1:13:31 2 REAL 2 FAKE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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There's a real fear that he's an old man, and they've played him too much.
He's tired.
The tread on the wheels is gone.
But Brovsky's got rickety knees, Dan.
I don't know how much more of this he can possibly take.
He's on summer vacation already.
It's a nightmare.
Ice is ready.
We are back with another episode of the Empty Netters podcast brought to you by BetMGM.
I am your host.
Dan Powers and alongside me, a man whose wardrobe would.
never increase, if not for our mother replenishing it every Christmas, Chris Powers.
As always, that's true. And thank goodness, dude, because I'd still be wearing the clothes I had
when I was a baby, and I wouldn't even fit in them. But she went like, dude, I turned two,
and she went, boom, new clothes. And I was like, wow, huge. Then I turned three, and she was,
I guess new clothes.
And I was like, wow, amazing.
And she's had a precedent.
Yeah, but can I tell you something?
Yeah.
That continued until you were about 17,
and you still wear those clothes.
No, no, she gets me new clothes.
Yeah, but you still wear those clothes.
Oh, I would wear every clothes.
You stop growing around that.
Yeah, I would wear the baby clothes if they fit.
They just don't fit me anymore.
I wish they did.
They were gas.
Can you imagine the retrofits I would have if I could just,
get in the baby clothes?
I don't like this.
The clinging to the baby clothes thing.
Like, why not stuff from middle school?
Because the baby shit's even more retro.
Yeah, but they're baby children.
They're their baby clothing.
Like, you don't.
Yeah, but if I could just, like, honey-eye gianted the kids.
Make your baby clothes.
Doesn't he giant the kids in the second one?
We blew up the kids, I believe, is a.
Is that right?
Crazy name.
Honey, I blew up the kid.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Honey, I blew up the kid.
That could be misconstrued very easily.
Yeah.
If you ran into the kitchen and you said,
honey, I blew up the kid.
I don't think you would think you made the child 10x bigger.
You'd think that you exploded them somehow.
Dude, it's the second installment of the Honey I Shrunk the Kids franchise.
And is the third we shrunk ourselves?
Yes, Dan.
Honey, we shrunk.
ourselves.
I think those came out.
You're really good at this.
And obviously like this would be an insane.
Honey, I shrunk the kids must have come out in 1995.
Continue.
And then honey, we blew up the kid probably 97.
And then we'll go, we'll say odds 99 for.
Okay.
Honey, we shrunk ourselves.
Number three, you said 99 was 1997.
Okay.
Honey, I blew up the kid in 1992.
Whoa.
And honey, I shrunk the kids in 1989.
Wow, that was a birth, that was a birth year for me.
Eighty-nine, dude.
Damn.
That's great.
I feel like that.
I was actually shocked by all of that.
Yeah.
I can't believe the first one's so old.
And then I can't believe it was eight years later.
That's so interesting because we, I mean, that, that movie clearly stood the test
of time because we were all watching that movie.
I thought it was six.
Yeah, I thought it was new.
There are a few scenes in that stay with me.
There's one where the ants freak me out a little bit, but then that one ant is really cool.
Yeah, he helps them out.
And then aren't they eating something that's awesome?
It's like marshmallow fluff or something or something.
Yeah, fuck, there is like, there is a thing.
They're eating something that's delicious.
No, it's like people are.
Dude, it's, um, come on.
It's one of those, uh, brown oatmeal cookies with the white cream in the middle.
It is an, oh, it's a little Debbie's oatmeal cookie.
Yeah, he's like scooping it.
Yeah, and it looks delicious.
It's, dude, I want one.
Looks fantastic.
Fantastic.
Shit.
Maybe I'll get an oatmeal cookie.
I think there's like banana.
I think one of them's having like a potassium.
No,
he's having an attack and he needs potassium so they eat bananas.
But then didn't you find out one day that there's more potassium in a Reese's peanut butter cup than there is in a banana?
That's correct.
The more you know, the movies, they'll lie to us, dude.
Yeah, they sure will.
Speaking of movies.
Come on.
I wanted to bring this up on the pod today.
We've got the conch.
clave going on right now. Live happening right now. We're waiting for that white smoke,
right? Yeah. Oh yeah. They put the white smoke up. Black smoke means Pope is dead. Is that right?
Dude, the black smoke means there's been a murder. It does. And we need to investigate,
dude, there's been a murder. There has been a murder. But I'm right, right? Black smoke.
No, dude. Black smoke billing from the Sistine Chapel chin, the indicates that the cardinals have not
elected. Like, they vote. And then if there's a two-
burn something when he's dead?
No.
It's the bell.
It's the bell of...
They burn his body.
It's the bell of...
They burn his body.
Pope is dead bell.
They cremate his bitch ass.
Bro.
I thought it's something San Marco, right?
Bells are traditionally wrong
to announce the death of the Pope, bitch.
On April 21st, 2025,
bells rank throughout St. Peter's Square.
Okay.
Yeah.
So Black smoke means no decision.
Black smoke means they voted and someone didn't get two-thirds.
Yes, so no decision.
Yeah, so they go, re-vote.
Is there like, can you vote for the same person over and over?
Or do people get eliminated from who you can vote for?
Well, have you watched Conclave?
Yeah, but I like, I barely watch it.
Movies fantastic.
The ending blows.
Take it easy, pal.
The, yeah, well, I think there, I think something bad has to happen for something to be
eliminated, but I think people are eliminated by logic.
So it's like if there are three or four cardinals who are getting the lion's share of votes,
and you're getting five, you will then go around and be like, yo, stop voting for me.
Because my votes go to this man now.
We need to put our faith behind.
He actually talks to God.
I thought I talked to God.
Turns out it's actually him.
I'm on hold.
Yeah, dude, he won't take my goals.
So we got the smoke thing.
I love the smoke thing.
Dude, I...
That's what I wanted to talk about.
Yeah, it makes me laugh that we still do that.
Like, I genuinely believe, dude, when this started,
they were like, the fastest and most convenient way to reach a ton of people
is to just shoot colored smoke in the air, like burn something.
And then a lot of people can go like this.
I can see the smoke.
I can see it from far away.
Because that was genuinely the best way we had of reaching a group of people.
people that was curious. Now we have so many better ways, dude. Like, I actually can't believe
we don't have, like, a guy. Like, why isn't there a dude, like an inside dude? Like, we need a,
we need a Pope, Adam Schaeffler. We need a Pope. Oh, wash. We need like, like, like an
Adriano, one genie. Adriano one genie. Yes, dude. And he's like, dude, he's got like five
phones, you know.
I like, I like the Cardinal, the Cardinal from, uh, I like the Cardinal from Germany.
Dude, and everybody, there's like, hearing, hearing, hearing signs from God that the Cardinal
from Germany is shooting up the draft board.
There's, there's, uh, there's like fake accounts, you know, because people buy like blue check
marks and it's like, Adiriano Wajoni and that you don't notice the spell check.
And Wojone's like, it's the German.
And everyone's like, oh, dude, did you hear?
And they're like, fake Wajoni.
That was fake Wajoni, you fucking idiot.
But he's got fake, you got fake Adriano.
And dude, you know how like Adam Schaeffler, is it Schaefter?
Shefter.
Adam Schaefter.
You're thinking of Scotty Sheffler.
Adam Schaefter, like, isn't a football player build, you know?
Yeah.
But he's always sweet.
Like, I love that this dude is like not a cardinal look at all, but he's like in the garb, you know?
And he's just like, I was a journalist.
You want Adriano to be in a cardinal where?
Yeah, he has to, dude.
Why?
He has to.
that's the game. That's the game, dude. He's got these fucking 10 phones and he's
fucking tweeting everything. Can you imagine when that tweet went out? That would be numbies, dude.
That would be sick. Bang, new pope. So I want to give you your flowers. I like that idea.
What would you tweet, dude? It'd be like, God. It'd be like God touching. Is that God in that
painting? Yeah. No. It is. Or is it? Yeah. So dude, Adrione just
Adriano
Photoshop's the new Pope over that pick
every time
every time there's a new one he goes
boom
Got him dude
I don't agree with you
Yeah I like to smoke
I like everything you just said
But I fucking
I fucking love the smoke dude
I fuck
You know why
It's unique
It's well it's also dude
And this is the little bitch
Bilt London boy and me coming out
It's tradition
It's tradition
It's old school
I love that shit
And now you're talking about
Woe's and you're talking about
I'm going to
do it too
Sheffler talking about
Schefter I hate now
when it's during free agency
it happens in our world too
you got Elliot and fucking LeBron
always going hearing whispers
that so-and-so is signing here
eight years and it's like
I want the official
I want everyone to know
and now I get that they
that is when people know
but I want something sick dude
and I think how about this
let's start with the College of Cardinals
and let's start with the
conclave.
Okay, yeah.
I don't want this shit televised anymore.
Oh, oh.
So you got to see the smoke with your eyes.
Well, check me out.
I want people in St. Peter's Square.
Yeah.
Just like people get in fucking Maple Leafs Square, watching Leafs games.
I want people in St. Peter's Square, but I want these things to smoke up like the beacons of Amundee.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, in the distance, there's another chance.
chimney. And they see the white smoke and they go, oh, light it, light it. And that goes
across the world. The globe. From sea to shining sea. We're going to have to, we're going to figure out
how that gets to North and South America, but we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Because here's
the thing, dude, it'll go the other way, right? It'll go to Russia. Then Alaska sees it. Yeah, bang,
we get it. Then we get it. That's how. Dude, this is easy. So I want it to be like that. And I'm saying,
And I've written down some ideas here, things for you to, you know, swirl around in your mouth, that could be like this.
We could use smoke for these things, too.
Or a variation of this.
Okay.
I'm going to start.
I like this idea now.
I like this idea.
I'm going to start in popes.
Or popes?
I'm going to start in sports.
Yep.
Okay.
Number one.
Deciding where the Super Bowl is.
Okay.
Yeah.
instead of some football guy probably Schaefter going the Super Bowl what are we on 50 something is in blah blah blah we do it like this first day of the NFL season every team has their home opener you're not every team's playing home you know first week but half of them are one of those teams on their home opener is going to be one of those teams on their home opener is
going to host the Super Bowl at kickoff, fireworks explode out of the stadium.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And everyone, everyone knows, oh, Super Bowl's in Miami.
Sick.
I thought you were going to say they could run out of the smoke.
No.
Sometimes they run out of the smoke of the tunnel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I want it literally on the kickoff.
Someone is sitting there with a button because they know.
Only one guy know.
All eyes on every stadium.
And there's fireworks rigged in every stadium.
Yeah.
Some of them are duds.
One of them is real.
and everyone has to click a button.
Can you imagine if someone fucking?
Even the guy who clicks the button doesn't even know.
Oh, okay.
Sick, yeah.
Only commission.
Yeah, dude.
Okay.
How about that?
Yeah, I like that a lot.
What about,
I thought you were going to say this one.
That would make,
oh, that would make week one of the NFL season even better.
Because we go,
we got to watch every single,
Red Zone would be dialed.
Yeah, yeah.
We got to watch kickoff, dude.
Have to watch every kickoff.
And every game that went that they didn't come.
You'd be like, oh, my God,
be eliminating, be sick.
What about free agency?
Like, at,
Marner's house
starting July 1
every morning
he should send black
smoke up the chimney
because he hasn't decided
that would be
and then dude
on July 5th
dude like July 7th
you see white smoke
come out of Marner's chimney
and you're like
But it wouldn't
it might have to be
more frequently than that dude
might have to be like every few hours
Yeah every five hours dude
More black
Actually there needs to be constant smoke
coming out of his chimney
Yeah I like that
And then just when
A decision
Yeah yeah yeah
Oh shit oh my God
I also like that for when like the McRib comes back or something or like the Doritos Taco.
Brother.
Or whatever.
McRib is back.
Literally wrote it down.
Literally wrote it down.
But my idea is better than yours.
Okay.
Ready?
Yeah.
When the McRib is back, smoke billows out of every single McDonald's.
Every one.
Yeah.
With the scent of the McRib.
Oh, my God.
Dude.
Think about the entire.
Globe would smell like McRibb, dude.
Think about how many
McDonald's there are. There'd be car accidents. Billions served.
Yeah, make it trillions, pal. All of a sudden,
make it trillions. Can you imagine that day? Did you wake up and you go like this?
God, it smells like...
Look out the window. You look out the window, you see smoke everywhere.
The McRibbs back. It's got to smell like ribs.
Yeah, that's really good. That's really good. Fantastic.
I was thinking about some smaller scale ones, too.
Hold on. I've got more. Okay, yeah.
Okay, I like this one.
I kind of mentioned this to you, or you could guess where I'm going here.
You kind of tip me off on this with Groundhog Day.
Oh, yeah.
Pugs of Tony.
President of the United States.
This one's just for us.
Sorry, Canada.
Actually, sorry, everywhere.
Any day he wants gets to blow out blue smoke.
Yeah.
Red smoke.
It doesn't matter.
Red white and blue smoke.
Let's call it purple smoke.
Yeah.
From the chimney of the White House.
1600.
National holiday.
Today.
So it's like a...
Can it be any day he wants?
Can it be tomorrow is a national holiday?
So we have like...
So you complain for it?
And you just get to party that night.
Because if you wake up and it's like...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
5 p.m. Eastern time.
Purple smoke comes out of the chimney of the White House.
That means...
Tomorrow is a national holiday.
That's gas.
Yeah. That one we actually should do.
Yeah. Dude. And it can literally be...
Oh, yeah, I do. Yeah, one day.
Called Headmasters Day. Yeah, exactly.
It literally, that should have... We should institute that.
Yeah, that would be so sick.
You know, that... Think about the power you wield as the president.
That would go right up the leaderboard of the thing they like the most.
Yeah.
That would be sick. One a year.
You get one a year. And you can do it whenever you want.
Yeah.
You just wake up one day and you go, you go,
you know what, dude.
I'm feeling it tomorrow.
Throw that purple smoke in the fireplace.
Bad day, dude.
Can you have any?
That would be the drunken night of the year.
Oh, dude.
It would be so sick if you had like a huge exam in school the next day or like a big
presentation at work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're fucking so stressed.
And then, dude, purple smoke.
Yeah.
Love.
Purple smoke, dude, get fucked.
Love it.
Give the presentation.
You give the fucking presentation.
Love it.
I'll be in Cabo.
going to get back that night because I do work the next day.
But boom.
I've got two more for you.
And then we can go to smaller ones.
I'm going to stick with politics.
Yep.
Election day.
Yeah, okay.
Instead of keeping track of the polls,
we've got both candidates up on stage,
both sitting on the seat of a dunk tank.
The water beneath them is the color of the competitors' respective parts.
Okay.
When a winner is decided, the loser dunked.
And now you're, now you are colored their party's color for the rest of the night.
Fuck, dude.
You think people would be watching, oh, I'm wondering how these polls are rolling and you would be glued to the
eyes glued to that stage to see what that dunk was going to be.
I like it.
I like that a lot.
And puts them in the same room, too, in a very tense time.
Yeah.
And they got to shake hands after it.
And can you imagine if you're a Democratic winner?
You would have to shake the hand.
Like, you just lost.
Yeah.
You've now dunked, and you walk up to me.
You've got to walk up and shake that hand and go, why so blue?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's fucking, that's, that's fucking, brutal, dude.
All right, now here's my last one.
National holiday's good.
How about this?
Got to figure out where we're doing this one.
Because I don't think it needs to be like the White House every time.
I think maybe like, uh, what's our best square?
A square would be cool.
Time Square is pretty good.
It feels like the one.
I can't even think of another square.
Time Square is pretty good.
It could be out of like a great, you know,
it could be out of like the Statue of Liberty.
Could be cool.
Oh shit.
That's sick.
This is this one.
Okay.
Red smoke out of the torch of the Statue of Liberty.
We're going to do this one at noon.
Eastern time.
Red smoke out of the Statue of Liberty.
Actually, no.
It's going to be the same.
thing as the other it's it's the next day yeah because we need time to prepare red smoke next day
all day is happy hour across the country 24 hours 24 hour happy hour holy fuck and this one is decided by
guy fietti what happens who does he who does he succeed that too when he dies oh who gets the power
his air uh no he's got to pick one of the gruevier
Creator chefs in the game, right, at the moment.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then when he decides that, white smoke comes out of his chimney.
Red smoke.
Okay, yeah.
Oh, white smoke comes out of guy's chimney.
When he decides.
When he decides who is succeeding him for National all day, happy hour day.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I think these are absolute wins.
What about?
Here's practical for you.
It's probably ruin a restaurant, but practical.
there's odorless light black smoke coming out of my constantly at my table and then when I'm ready to order
it's like incense and when I'm ready to order incense I go white smoke and then the waiter comes over and goes hey
that I think it regardless of odor I think it'd be a really smoky restaurant yeah yeah yeah you can't see
anything how would you know who smoke is what he goes is that your table and I go no dude you
I'm eating dude you literally have the food this one is a horrible
horrible idea. No, it's a poof, Dan. It's not like constant. It goes like a puff.
Okay. Puff. Like a powder keg.
Poof. Ready to order. And then the other one is a, you are wingmanning, okay, and you go up to the girl, if you're, or whoever, you go up to the gender that your friends want to get with.
Whoever you're hitting on. Yeah. And you go up and you go, hey, what's up? I'm Chris.
you single because like that's the information I need sure for my boys and if she's not single
then I'm out of there and if she is single I'm also out of there because that's a wave in yeah so
either way I'm leaving I'm going you single and then I'm gone so we we have these little uh
are you familiar with teenage mutant ninja turtles two secret of the use or maybe one I think
one actually we have these little uh
mom's little smoke bars.
Oh, yeah.
And that happens in one.
Yeah, and I go, are you single?
Yeah, it's keynote.
I go, are you single?
And if she says yes, I go,
and it's white, and then I'm gone.
And then my friend walks up, but he knows she's single.
And if she's taken, I go,
and it's black, and I'm gone.
And my friend goes, dope, we'll look somewhere else.
These ideas are crazy.
What do you think of that one, dude?
I don't, no, I don't.
And then he's like, oh, dude.
I don't, dude, you're at the bar.
White, what?
This, your ideas are just chaotic.
Like, they're not, I don't hate them.
But they're kind of, warm in on the white.
I was thinking more like beacons.
Like, what, you got me thinking about this.
What about friend ideas?
I think what I, what I'm getting at with the conclave is, we need to get back to symbols.
You know what I mean?
Like, flares.
Just a mean something.
How about this, dude?
This is, this is one, this is one you can all use.
Yeah.
Send this to the, send this to the group chat and see how everyone feels about it.
I think when you're in a city, town, whatever it be, and you've got your group of friends, you need to get a list going of your favorite, dude, I fucking love this idea.
I fucking love this idea.
You need to get a list going of your favorite bars, right?
The watering holes that you guys frequent the most.
get on an Excel sheet
and come up with a photo
a
can yeah can be a photo
could be a I would prefer you to go find
ancient symbols yeah
and associate each bar
with that symbol
okay I'm with you so far
with a symbol each one has let's say you have six bars
find six ancient symbols
associate a symbol to a bar
you guys all share
that talk with each other as your legend, if you will.
When you go out, no speaking, if you're going out, if you're driving around, you
got a need a drink and you go to one of those bars, just post the symbol as your story
on Instagram.
Yeah.
Only the real ones now.
That's your beacon.
And if your boys are scrolling IG and they see it, now they know where you are.
And it wasn't an invite.
It was just like, dude, I'm here.
Yeah.
And your boys can be like, oh, I'm coming.
I got to go.
It would actually make me want to go more than you just texting me.
A hundred percent.
That's what I'm saying.
And can you imagine, dude, the feeling of if you've got a lot of the boys at one bar because of the symbol?
And then it could grow too.
Like if you pop it up, right?
And I see it.
And I go, sick.
And I go, as I'm walking in the door, I post it on my story as well.
And then your boys are at home.
And they go, they're scrolling IG.
They see me.
they go, oh shit, D.P's at
Jamison's.
Yeah.
And then they go to a couple stories, Pat, they're like,
fuck, should I go?
Maybe I'll go.
I don't know, I'm a little tired.
Keep scrolling IG, story, story.
Then they see it again, and they go,
did I just accidentally go?
Wait, it's CP.
CPS there, too.
Everyone's got the symbol up.
Multiple symbols up.
Now you've got to go.
Now you literally have.
I think that would be gas.
I love it, dude.
I'm in.
Let's make some symbols.
I'm going to make a legend for the boys.
Do it.
Do it.
And we'll test it out.
But this could be the move.
I'm ahead of Bobby.
This could be the move.
Fuck, yeah, dude.
End of the day, I just, I'm thinking,
we need to bring back traditions.
We need to bring back old school signaling tradition.
You want me over, dude.
I'm in.
And the conclave does it well.
I'm in.
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You know who else does it well, Chris?
I'm afraid I do.
Tell the people. The Toronto
Meppoleefs.
Let's fucking get into it, folks. Let's get
into our hot ice.
He's back.
The Leafs are back, dude.
It's real.
They're different.
Yep.
It's 67.
This team, I'm one over.
I'm one over.
I'm one over in the, I no longer think this team is going to fall apart like they usually do.
If they lose, and I made my bed, I'm with the Panthers.
I have no regrets.
Yep.
But I'm telling you right now, Leif's Nation, this team is different.
And if they lose, they will lose like an honorable man.
They will lose honorably.
and I am blown away.
I'm blown away
with this fucking team, dude.
The emergency response leads.
I was going to say,
I have never been more proud
of a
random thing
that I always just spew out of my ass.
But I was like,
I'm calling, this leeks.
I was just saying what I was seeing, dude.
That's the thing.
Calling it how you see it.
It wasn't inspiration.
Call it how you see it sometimes.
Just saying what I was seeing.
And this team, when they go,
oh shit, we blew a fucking two-go lead
to the, to the,
to the Sends and the Panthers are coming back,
they go bang, answer, bang, response.
This game, dude, every time the Panthers went up,
I was like, oh yeah, this is just what I thought was going to happen.
Panthers take one in Toronto, they're going to win at home,
and this is, the series is over.
Yeah.
Boom, immediate goal.
Immediate goal, dude.
I have never seen anything like it,
and there can be no rest when you're the other team.
Like, you score and you're like, let's go fucking sack tapping everybody on the bench
feeling good, squirting gato around, dude. Wrong. You already have one in the back of your net if you
care to look up. Dude, that's this Leafs team. Yeah. It's fucking sick. And watching it go,
cats get on the board first. And I think you, a lot of people were like, yep, and here you go.
It's Barkov, too. Yep. Not a good goal, by the way. Wall's a net from like the half wall on the
paper. Squeaks in weird. I was like, that was not a good goal. Yeah. But then it gets tied up.
And then Panthers go back up. Yeah. Marshy, too. And I was up. And I go, oh, oh, oh,
dude, of course, his first goal
of the playoffs is against this least.
Old demons coming back, dude.
You thought the trauma was gone.
All your PTSD.
You've gone to therapy.
You've done hypnosis to get rid of it.
And then knock, knock on the door,
the fucking Babaduke is there.
But a little holy water.
Yep.
Little cross, little crucifix.
Eat some garlic.
Little Bible.
A priest.
The power of Christ compels you.
I have exercise.
the demons. Goal.
Tie game. Goal.
Lead. Then the Panthers look like they're scratching back.
Goal. 17 seconds later or something? Marner. Marner.
And game.
Willie again earlier.
Dude, it's everything you've ever dreamed of as a leaf fan.
I know that sounds dramatic, but I'm dead ass, dude.
It's not traumatic.
This team, the guys that you pay to score.
the goals are scoring the goals.
And you go down and then they go, no, no, no.
We will go up. We don't go down. We go up.
And then that's exactly what they do every game.
And how do you...
Your goalie. Your goalie is out. Stoli's out.
And they go, don't care. That was our backup all year.
Anyway, you've been fooled by the best.
Here's our starter. He has beaten you now.
We have two goalies.
He was supposed to be our starter all along. Now he's back in.
How do you respond?
to adversity.
In the past,
they didn't respond at all.
They just didn't show up.
It took a sick day.
Went home.
Now they're responding before you can even celebrate.
You know what this is?
This is one of those ones where,
I know this was in Scotia Bank,
but this is one of those situations
where the home team scores
and then the other team responds
before the fucking PA guy
can even announce it to the barn.
Yep.
Brutal.
Dude, it's unbelievable.
So, dude, it's something is happening.
Something is happening.
Frankie boy, Leaves Illuminati was talking about it.
The signs are there.
Are everywhere.
The signs are there.
If you are seeing zeros and ones, the Matrix is talking to us.
This is, you can feel it.
Something is out there in the ether.
It's even with shit like Biz.
Biz doing his bullshit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Back on his bullshit.
All of his stories, all of his rants.
There's a weird confidence this year that wasn't there.
We could see the fear behind his eyes in the past.
But now the man is deranged.
He's possessed, and I believe he's possessed by the spirits.
The spirits that are flying around, the spirits of 67.
Spirits of 67 are alive.
Dan, that's great.
Is that a thing?
It's crazy.
It is crazy, dude.
Spirit is 67.
This is a sixth studio album by American rock band Paul Revere and the Raiders.
Gas.
Tell me there was a rock.
Oh, wait.
The guy's name wasn't Paul Revere.
The band was just named Paul Revere on the radio.
Yeah, yeah, but that would be sick if that was also his name.
Spirit of 67.
The Spirits of 67 are floating around the NHL world right now.
They are in Toronto, in Scotia Bank, and I fear for the cats that they're going to take a trip down south to sunrise.
Dude, yeah, correct.
I was going to say...
What if they get in that barn?
Dude, I don't know.
Like, I don't know what's going to happen.
It's going to be...
They're dead.
I wanted to say, dude, because I have decided that it is, it is 1967 all over again,
and not just in the like, oh yeah, ha ha, it's 67 again, the Leafs are going to win.
I'm telling you that we have time traveled, all back to the future, which they actually go back, you know?
Well, they go.
They go back in time.
And then they come back to the future.
I guess the climax is him needing to get back to the future, but you just think it would be called something.
I guess it's like the pun of it.
Back to the future.
It's a perfect name.
It's a perfect name.
It's a perfect title.
It's perfect movie.
It's perfect script.
Perfect movie.
Perfect everything.
The, we have gone back in a Delorean to 67 and we should act accordingly.
Okay.
And I was going to say, I didn't even realize.
Hey, how about this?
How about this?
For, if the Leafs move on, the first pod we do, we'll dress full 67.
67 vibes.
1967 vibes.
Dude, so I looked up
the Beatles,
Sergeant Pepper's album
came out that year.
And I was going to be like,
that needs to be,
relief fans,
like we gotta get that rocking.
But then I was like,
maybe we gotta do it
the spirit of 67 album
because that feels even more on point.
Yeah,
maybe both.
But definitely Sergeant Pepper's
Lonely Hearts Club band
gotta be a team song right now.
Like, no doubt, dude.
A couple other cool things that I saw.
The,
on February 15th,
1967, the longest REM sleep dream on record ever experienced was by Bill Karksadon in Chicago. It lasted
two hours and 23 minutes. That happened in 1967. They didn't have anything to do with the
Leafs. That this is the longest dream they've ever had, this playoff run. That's the truth
every year, but... Yeah, but this one's long, dude. They're having the long... Fortunately for them,
it's this year. It's happening right now. And Dan, they only won two rounds in 67 when they won the cup.
they need this to be the longest dream on record.
Okay.
They need that.
And then this, I actually love, and I think Leif's fans need to do this.
I don't know how.
But in 1967, and it was actually the last day, which is pretty sick, December 31st.
Evil Caneval.
Love?
Do you know what I'm going to say?
No.
Evil Caneval.
I bet he jumped something.
Oh, you better believe it, pal.
Evil can evil tried to jump in Vegas, Caesar's Palace.
Sorry, hold on.
How did you not have this ready to go?
It was up, but now it's gone.
Here it is.
December 31st, Evil Knievel attempts to jump 141 feet over the Caesar's Palace
Fountains on the Las Vegas Strip in the United States.
He crashes on landing on the accident and is caught on film.
We need to reenact some type of jump with an accident to fully make it in 1967 to guarantee
the Leafs Cup.
You aren't as good at this as Frank.
is. Oh, I know, but I'm trying to
help. I can help the best way I can.
Are you going to do the reenactment? I will if I
need to. But, you know, I
got to imagine there's a Leafs fan
who cares about me more than me. You think there's
a stunt man in Toronto who's a big Leafs fan?
Maybe someone is a
an animator and could create a video
of it for it. Now we're talking.
Like, just, I'm willing to get creative here. I just
want to see somebody try to
jump 141 feet over the Caesar's
palace fountains on the Las Vegas strippy in the United States.
But do it. There doesn't
to be a crash. But now I fear that they won when it crashed. So you got to trash.
We got to crash. That's what I'm saying. We got to crash. This is like sacrificing bulls.
Yeah, it's, dude, all the time, Olivia, this is the trick, Dan. This is the trick. This is what you have to do. Sacrifice. Sacrifice is need to be made. This is, like I said, it's like sacrificing bulls to, to the gods. You need to sacrifice a stunt man or an animation of a stuntman. Someone needs to crash at the Sears Palace Fountains. That's possible. If you care about this cup at all, someone needs to sacrifice. Someone needs to.
to crash at the Sears Palace Valens.
We said going into this series
that every game is going to be
must win for the Leafs.
Yep.
They have taken care of business here,
got there too.
Now, what's funny is,
I think we have our first
must win for both teams.
Yeah, because it's every game as...
As confident and as unflappable
as you are as the Panthers,
which I think they are.
Actually, there are some Panthers
fans in the DMs and in the mentions
and some dear friends who are
Panthers fans who are like,
I do not feel good.
Yep.
And...
Nor should you!
That's what you want.
Leafs fans, you're in their head now.
That's good.
But this is now, I think, must win for both teams.
You can't go down 3-0.
And then Toronto, you really don't want a situation where you just go, we got our two, they got their two.
If it's 2-2 going back to Scotia Bank, you're a little rickety.
You're a little shaky.
You're a little scared.
Agreed.
It sucks.
And I think this game also would be huge.
Huge.
Huge.
Huge.
for the Leafs.
If, even if they lose, if they keep it tight.
Play them tight.
If you make them sweat.
It's humid down there, yeah.
If you...
It's humid as hell down there.
If you respond.
If you're emergency responding.
And you make them really earn it.
I mean, obviously, win if you can.
But if you make them really earn it, then I think you go, oh, dude, we're all over.
Yep.
We are all over.
This team doesn't know how to handle us.
This is the new Leafs.
Yeah.
If the Panthers win like 5 to 1, it's a little scary.
You're nervous.
You're nervous.
So this is a huge game.
I mean, because, dude, reverse sweeps can happen in hockey.
They happen more than most other sports.
But the fear isn't that, I don't know, you're always nervous.
It's the defending champs.
But if you just go up 3-0, you essentially end the series.
and both of these teams know that.
And it's going to be a fucking bull on bath down there.
Like, I actually can't wait for that game, dude,
because everything is on the line.
Man, truly.
This game three, what have we got this on Saturday?
No, I think it's Friday.
Is it Friday?
Yeah, yeah.
I think it might check that right now.
But what this game is, you know, I declared last week,
weekend appointment TV in those game sevens game three yeah Friday dude it is Friday game three
Friday is appointment television that is going to be wild and what we're seeing from the
leaps max patcher ready dude has been unbelievable sick willie nilander i said this at the beginning
of the year you know i fucking said this willie nilander is the best of the core for oh dude you
have been saying that i don't agree because i'm an austin matthews dick
rider. Yep, you are. But Willie
is dope. Willie is a dog.
Marner has been a dog. He hasn't, though.
What do you mean? He's been all right.
I mean, he's got a huge goal
in game one against
Ottawa. Maybe he's not been a dog.
He does have a ton of assists, though. Marner's scoring
and he's got a ton of assists, and that's his game. Yeah, yeah.
I'd like more goals from him, but yeah. Marner's been
great. This
wall played great. I mean, you know...
No, he did, bro. He did. He did 100%.
But one thing I'll say is 20 shots.
Dude, yep.
Wait.
For the Leafs.
Oh, yeah.
Let's not, I want to get into Bob in a second, but, but Wall ended up facing how many in that game?
28.
We got 28, yeah.
And after the first one winning, I was like, uh-oh.
But then I thought he was good, dude.
I thought he was really good.
And that huge save at the end, who the fuck was that on?
That was nasty.
Yeah, that was huge.
He's like full split, dude.
Like, that was fucking dope.
But ultimately, you know, you come in and you come into close out game one and you get this
win in game two.
Like Toronto is doing everything right.
They're doing everything they want.
The Panthers, Bob, are you okay, son?
Dude, okay, Dan.
Have you played too many games?
Are you almost 40?
Go, Dan.
Go, go.
Because 20 shots, four goals, right?
Yeah, dude.
Not great.
And dude, they're not...
Not great, pal.
They're not...
It's tricky when these like seeing-eye chaos things go in.
because you want to go, that's not his fault,
but also they just can't go in.
Can't.
Those shots can't go in.
Mitch Marters cannot go in.
No.
And it just worries me, dude, that I went on such a fucking,
I said that the Panthers would be too tired to go on a repeat cup run.
Yeah.
But they're not too tired to win one series.
I fucking said that.
Yeah, you did.
And then I forgot that I said it.
And then because of the way they play.
played against Tampa.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh my God, the Panthers, they're healthy there.
They were roper dope.
They're fine.
They were built for this.
They're okay.
And then they immediately got a round two and are too tired to go on a repeat cup run
because they have been playing too long of seasons the last two years.
And whether they want to admit it or not, even it was five games, that's a super
bowly series.
You know, you put all your fucking energy and hype and defeating the lightning.
And now you're like, oh, fuck.
I got nothing left.
And if you had not been silly geese
and let Edmonton stretch out that final to seven games,
you would probably go back to the cup this year.
I'm sorry, excuse me, you would definitely go back to the cup this year.
When it, I don't know, but you would definitely go back.
But you let that get to seven.
Yeah.
And now we're in a slug fest.
Yep.
And I'm not saying this, like I said,
I'm in bed, I'm riding with my cats.
Yep.
But this is sketchy as fuck now.
Because that was what you needed.
You needed Bob.
Oh, yeah, and you don't have him.
You needed him to go, dude, I go like this in playoffs.
Bye, Bob's bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye, Bob.
Not great, Bob.
We needed him to step up in the playoffs.
He's in Cancun.
If they were going to go, but he's on vacation.
He's in Cancun.
He's got a mug.
He's on vacation.
He's like, I don't give a fuck, dude.
Yeah.
So you need a, we talked about this in the Ottawa series.
I was like, you need a lenis O-Mark shutout.
Yeah.
You need a two goals or less.
even say one.
Dude, I'll give him to, but you're right.
On Friday, you need a two goals or less, maybe one performance from Bob.
Otherwise, we are in big, big trouble.
Dude, four on 20 in tonight, and they didn't get nothing right now.
Five on, well, I think I got 30 in game one, so not horrible.
I mean, actually, still horrible.
It scored five goals with Bob.
I'm going to say for Florida.
Huge that Marshan got on the board.
Yep.
You want Marchand scoring,
and that third line is out of control.
Third line is so good.
Lundell is so good.
That third line is,
it's your best line right now.
Yes.
And here's the thing, brother.
Only round that matters is the round that we're currently in.
Okay?
Yep, fair.
In game one,
you got goals from Seth Jones,
Luster Einan,
Yep.
Balinski's,
and Sam Bennett.
Yep.
Matthew Kachachir.
Chuck, Sam Reiner, Carter Verhegey, where are you?
This is what I was right about to say.
That's what I was looking at.
Where are you, boys?
And two games is okay.
It's not good, but it's okay.
But game three, you need one or two of those guys to score.
Matthew Chuk, in my opinion, looks a little bit hurt.
We wondered, is he going to be healthy in the first series?
Are they going to get past Tampa if they're not healthy?
He looked healthy as a fucking ox.
Do you think something else happen?
because he looked fine.
I think it feels re-aggravated because I do not think he has been good in these two games,
per his standards.
And we all know, I think Matthew Kachuk is the balls.
Yep.
If I'm starting a team tomorrow, he is a top five pick off the board for me because of his grit.
Yeah.
But he hurts himself because he works so fucking hard.
And I'm worried that he's a little banged up.
I like it, dude.
Because if you look at this, if you click on game three, it says players to watch.
And it's like leader in points for both.
Points, Goals, assists.
Willie, Willie, Mitch.
1368. Panthers. Lundell, Bennett, Luster, Einen. And I'm like, that can't be what's happening.
Cannot be it. Can't be it. This is also crazy. Bob 290-876 in the playoffs so far through seven games.
Bad. Bad. Bad. Stoli looks hurt though. It's only 219-910, but he looks like he's not, certainly not playing soon.
No, I don't think so. Wall 401-875 in his two games, which is horrific. Not good.
Saving the right ones, though. Saving the right ones. Speaking of Dan, maybe we go.
Maybe it's the year of the backup.
Like,
Calvin Picard is in.
Pickard's in.
I always do that.
I was making the French.
I don't know why I do that.
Pickard's in.
Dominating.
I don't even know who to call the backup here
because Stolars was the backup
and was in dominating.
And now Wall is against the backup
and he's dominating.
Maybe we sit Bob down.
Maybe we go to V-Tech.
I think it's a terrible idea.
You don't think so?
Well,
what if he, dude,
What if he's got something?
That to me is the one where you go, if you sit him and you lose, you're fired.
Yeah, you're right.
So terrible idea.
Okay, so not V-Tech.
We're going to ride with Bob till the wheels come off.
Yeah.
They might be off, though.
They might be.
But I got to believe in these cats.
This team is, they're resilient.
They're dirty.
They're grimy.
You're going to head to Amaran.
And I just think things are definitely different down there.
before we move on from this game
and I know that there are Panthers fans listening right now
who are like are you fucking guys seriously not going to bring this up
we are heavy
on not being hypocrites
we're also heavy on not bitching about refs
yeah hate it I've been very vocal
these playoffs of fans online
you gotta shut the fuck up talking about the refs
because I've got news for you if you go online
go on Twitter, go into a bar.
Every single fan base believes that the league has it out for them.
Yeah.
I saw an Oilers fan the other day saying that Connor McDavid is the most penalized guy in the league
and he never gets any calls.
And I, just looking at it, I was like, there's just simply no way that you actually believe that.
And that's not me saying it's the other way.
I'm just saying every fan base feels this way, guys.
So everyone calm down.
with that said, I'm not going to talk about the whole game.
I'm not going to talk about both games.
Because I know that there's something to be said about that.
The embellishment call on Evan Rodriguez was one of the strangest calls I have seen in my entire life watching hockey.
I'm not kidding.
Agree.
And the fact that there are some Maple Leafs fans online saying that he dove and embellished that.
Your fandom poisons your brain.
I know.
is there a world though?
Like what I hate is that they go,
it's completely embellishment and nothing wrong happened.
Because at the minimum,
you have to go,
something wrong happened and it was embellished.
At the minimum.
I agree.
If not just a penalty.
Yeah, I mean, to me,
that was as square in the numbers
face and neck into the glass as it gets.
Yeah.
That was just a hitting from behind call.
And I just don't,
He left the ice.
Yeah.
He doped so hard.
He faked it so hard, he hurt himself.
Listen, there's no doubt that guys are diving in the NHL more than ever.
Yep.
But I just don't think guys are taking themselves off the ice in a Stanley Cup playoff game.
Yeah.
On a call he didn't even get.
Yeah, right.
He could have just, once he didn't get the call, you go, okay.
Like, what are we doing here?
Outrageous.
So, yeah.
I just think that was.
wild. That's all I'm going to say. That was wild. That was wild. And, uh, yeah, tough one for the,
the cats. I'm not going to lie. So, yeah, very, very tough. Um, if any team in this playoff,
I guess maybe the Oilers, I was going to say, if any team was down 2-0, and I was like,
you're still in this series. It's the Florida Panthers. Um, but to put yourself in a tough
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Let's kick it to the next series.
We got Game 1, Stars Jets, up at the wall.
Elite vibes.
Oh.
How much do you love these fucking two teams?
I'm going to die.
I'm going to die in this series.
I'm going to die in this series.
I said that I was most excited to watch Panthers Leaves,
second most excited to watch Vegas.
Oilers, third, most excited to watch Stars Jets, my Rocket Man series, and then I was fourth,
most excited to watch Cain's Caps.
This, it's everything, was such a sick hockey game.
What a hockey game.
Dude, for the, for the soccer fans out there that are listening, which maybe isn't
a big van diagram, but the soccer fans are-hmm, I bet we got some footy fans in here.
The soccer fans that are listening, there was an awesome Champions League game on Tuesday.
Oh, my God.
between Enter and Barsa and after the game,
or I think maybe even going into extra time,
but something,
the panel was talking about the game,
and Tieri-on-Reed just said,
I'm sure you saw this,
but he goes,
he goes, doing this job, no joke,
I have at times felt bored watching these games,
and I just want to say thank you.
He said bored with football for the last year or two.
And he's like, I just want to say thank you to enter and Varsa.
Are you telling the world right now
that hockey's been boring you for the last year or two?
No, but I, when he goes,
because they were like,
what do you mean?
And he was like, this is just, this is what I picture when I'm like, I want to watch Champions
League semifinal games.
That hockey game, and obviously the fucking Dallas.
Yeah, no, you're not saying that there haven't been great games.
But just that, that was such an awesome hockey game.
I was having the time of my life.
That's second period.
That's tremendous action.
Second period.
I think these two teams might be the most likable teams, likable cities and fans.
base is going.
Yeah.
There's nothing I don't love about everything about both of these teams.
I'm so with you on that.
The only thing I don't like is that one of them has to kill each other.
Yeah, they have to play right now.
It sucks.
It sucks.
But we went into it knowing I really, I really knew this was going to be so tough to watch
because I was going to love both.
And I love both.
And also, buddy, your voodoo doll is intact.
Dude, I was thinking that the stars, the way I made it sound was that the stars have built a voodoo doll
because their injuries are then reflected on the Jets.
That's how Voodoo dolls work, right?
Yeah.
And I was like, what would their voodoo doll the Jets look like?
Is it like just a little scarecrow with a Jets jersey?
No, they'd be more creative than that.
I would think.
But I don't know, do there's scarecrows in, where are scarecrows?
Who has a scarecrow?
In crop fields?
You put them with the...
So like in farms?
Like in Dallas?
Are there scarecrows?
Or that's not...
There's definitely cornfields in Dallas, probably?
Yeah.
What do I mean?
Probably.
There's definitely cornfields in Dallas.
Yeah, so they would have...
They would have a better voodoo dog.
I don't know what it looks like yet, but I do believe that the stars...
I don't think you need it to be in corn either.
It can be in any vegetable patch.
You just want the crows to not eat your crops.
Your crops, yeah.
Well, I think they could come up with a cooler looking voodoo doll anyway.
I don't know what exactly it would look like,
but it would be more creative than...
and just like a humanoid sack with a jetsters.
But whatever they're doing was working.
And I thought it was the Jets being honorable and going,
okay, they don't even have a voodoo doll,
but we'll just sit our second best goal score
and our best defense, because that's what the stars are doing.
But now I'm like, I think there is some voodoo going on.
Yeah.
Because everybody said, Miro's going to play round one.
Certainly.
No chance he misses into round two.
and then Robo, who knows, week to week, they're saying.
And then Shifley could be long gone.
He's big time hurt.
Morrissey's already out on the ice.
Like Shifley took a little while to come on that.
Maurice is already skating.
He's fine.
Miro will play, you know, Robo never.
Then we show up game one.
Robo playing.
Shifley playing.
Morrisie out.
Miro out.
Something's going on.
I think they have a voodoo roster.
And when someone writes a name in,
The name is appearing on the other one.
Here's the thing.
A voodoo doll can be anything.
I guess you're right.
It just needs to be, I was going to say the word blessed,
but I think cursed by a witch.
A witch doctor.
A priestess.
Maybe it's just the team photo, right?
And Dallas goes, okay, we're playing Winnipeg.
Because they played first.
Dallas moved on.
And they're watching that game.
And there, they go, just put a needle in Shifley.
Robo's out.
Let's just, what's his comp?
Shifley.
Yeah.
Fair is fair.
Then they go, we need a D.
Morrissey, of course.
Yep.
Put a needle in him.
And then as this game started, Rebo goes, I'm good to go.
And they went, fair is fair.
What?
Yeah.
Pulled the needle out of Shifley.
Yeah.
Dude, I like that noise.
That was so good.
And then Shife goes, dude.
I feel fine. Actually, dude, you're 100% right.
Because more...
Fair is fair. I feel like I'm going to be good, but then
Miro wasn't ready to go, so they just didn't take
the needle out. Dude, we need to get into
the Dallas trainer's office.
Or if you're the Jets fan. How about... If you're a fellow
Rocket Man, we need to get into the Dallas
trainer's office. We go down to Dallas, right?
And we're getting a tour, and they go, and this is our head
trainer's office, and we go in, and it's just a full-on
witch doctor's office.
It's like... Tiki hot. They're shrunken heads
in jars.
Dude, Nate,
McKinnon's head.
McKinnon's head is in a fucking jar
and
and we go like this
Cale, Cail's hand.
Someone, there's a fucking,
there's a knife into,
there's a voice,
there's a wax statue of kale
with a knife.
The hands cut off.
He goes like this,
would you like to look around?
And we go, no, no.
Dude, I go, is that the trainer?
Is the trainer down there?
I've actually, my hammies actually been a little sore.
They walk me down there.
I walk inside the Tiki hut.
Don't, don't need to look around.
I've seen enough
I've seen enough.
We turn around
grabs a bit of hair out of her hands
We're like, no, no
Fuck
Dallas is running a fucking voodoo
Witch doctor situation?
I think so
We gotta
We gotta,
Betman's gotta do something about this
No, because they're being fair
They are being fair though
Because they're like, our guys are hurt, dude
Eye for an eye
That's all they're doing
They're even in it up dude
I actually think they hurt
They hurt kale
For the same reason
Niro.
And Kale's so strong that he played through it, but he was hurt.
That's what I'm saying.
But Dibor is looking at the witch doctor.
And Dan, you know who the abs?
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Dabor's looking at the witch doctor going, what are we doing?
Kail's out there.
And he goes, he cannot be killed.
He cannot be killed.
He's too strong.
He's too strong.
But he did limit him.
Dan, who do you think is the Colorado Avalanche, now that they've lost meek
grandin, is the Colorado Avalanche's second best goal score?
Nathan McKinnon?
Nope.
After Cale?
Cale's not their best goal score.
Well, I mean, the odds said he was.
Probably Val.
Pure, pure goal score.
Great dude.
Landy.
Nope.
Great dude.
Friend of ours.
Ross Colton.
Couldn't play.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, they went like this.
We need second best goal score are gone, and we need best D gone.
They take out Ross, they take out Kail, who cannot be taken out because he is too strong.
And they play them and then win.
And then the Jets go, we're completely healthy.
And they go, psych, second best goal score defense men.
Gone, gone, gone.
I forgot that Ross became the best goal score on the team this year.
He had 20 fucking goals.
I knew he was about, he was the most pure goal scorer.
I mean, look at the percentages.
Look at the percentages, dude.
Kid was shooting 70%.
And they're not doing, dude, all they can do is the percentages.
They don't go off gut.
Voodoo, well, I guess kind of voodoo maybe does go off gut.
But I'm telling you he was rocking with the percentages.
Fair is fair.
Yeah.
Fair is fair.
So now Robo's back, Shifley back.
There's a voodoo.
When Morrissey comes back, or sorry, when Miro comes back, Morrissey will be back.
There are witch doctors.
There are witch doctors in Dallas.
Dude, this is very interesting.
Shifley with a tuck, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
Immediate.
Jamie Ben played a horrible game.
And Jamie Ben has really impressed me with the way he...
Wound back the clock in a big way.
Speaking of the guys who wound...
Tyler Sagan was fantastic in this game.
He has been...
Both of them, man.
He looks like a face-off specialist.
He's snapping them back.
Unbelievable.
Even last year we said, you can't count on that from Ben and Sagan again.
And then not only did you count on it, but also Sagan missed fucking half the year and came back and was like, I'm fine still.
Crazy.
Fine.
So this game, C.P.
Three two stars, obviously, and all the action in the second.
Jets got the first, which I loved.
I loved for the barn.
Oh, yeah.
Scenes were crazy.
Neither Rider gets on the board.
But then we got three straight Dallas goals.
From who?
Three straight Miko Randingles.
This fucking man, dude, what is this stat?
He's deranged, Dan.
He's sick in the head.
I think he has a point.
I believe this is correct.
I think he has a point in the last 12 straight Dallas points.
I think that might be right.
Let me look that up while you begin to speak.
Dude, and there's also a crazy stat that he has, yeah, this is it, dude.
He has 11.
points. Listen to me, dude, while you're looking, because I know you're not paying attention.
I'm not paying it. Yeah. Hold on. Okay. Hold on. Seven in a row. And then goal, assist, assist. So that's
11 in a row. I mean. Okay, listen to this, dude, because it's those 11. I guess it could be
assist. Yeah, it is 12. And then by the way, he has, there was a marchment goal, but then he has an assist on the
Johnston and then a goal before that.
So he has like 14 of their last 15 points.
He has a point in.
Yeah.
Are you fucking my dad?
Dude, so 12 straight goals for the Dallas stars.
Miko Ranton has played a part.
Dude, he, he's doing, first of all, everybody knows this part, but he's, every, all
these outbursts have happened in a period.
Like he did four points in a period in game six, four points in a period in game seven,
three points in a period in game one which means dude he has 11 points in the last seven periods at one point
like literally dude in the last seven periods he played he has 11 points i was like what the fuck would
you say you're doing crazy town then as you said shyly gets one gets one back horrible turnover by javvy
and we had a stalemate third period yep 31 shots for the jets good shots too
Yeah.
And I think this is a game where Otter gets to go, got one for you guys.
You're welcome.
Ranting gets to say that too.
Yeah.
But this was a huge game from Otter.
And I think especially, we are so fucking cold on empty nets, by the way.
That first round just blessed us too much.
And now they're making us pay for it a little bit.
I don't think we hit one in a second round.
We haven't.
But that's neither here nor there.
There were some sick plays.
There was a sick shifely tip between the legs.
The Otter just saw.
Otter saw the shot the whole way, saw a Shifley stick moving between his own legs, saw the tip and he just fought like it was one of those weird glove saves where he had it inside and just followed the bounce outside and just snagged it and was like, yep.
Oh, dude, that was gross.
All over it. He was just so all over it. And that game, like we said, tough for someone who loves both teams.
But you just had good signs from both. Hellebuck.
three goals but none of them were bad he was awesome he was awesome especially early the shots the jets ended
up i think having the shot advantage in that game yeah yeah i think it was 24 to and actually they
ended up having the shot advantage in the first 31 to 24 and they ended up having the shot advantage
in the first 1312 but there was a stretch in the first where it was like six nothing dallas and i was like
oh dude like this is not good barn silent winnipeg not what they wanted dallas whole new animal you're
dead but hellebuck dude right where he left off found something in overtime just like we thought
he did thought he found something found that little tree hooch in o t got drunk drunk helly you can't
score on drunk helly dude that's the thing about him so he needs to just keep that buzz on stay buzz
the rest of the way because if you're the jets and you lost this game at home you go it doesn't
matter because that's our secret weapon and he's back he's back and that was big dude i think that
fans were chanting you're the backup at otter at one point in that game too.
Oh yeah, that's what they do to him.
That was sick.
Which is a sick, sure.
Yeah, it's fucking awesome.
I got to say, I think this is going seven like we predicted, and I think this is just
going to be so exciting to watch.
Big game one win for Dallas.
Dallas loves losing game one.
They always lose game one.
I'm actually worried for them now.
I'm not going to chirp myself too, or chirp myself.
I'm not going to stroke myself off too much, but on our live today, I did say we're going to
You got a Toronto win and a Dallas.
Yeah, dude.
I was actually thinking that when the Jets and Panthers went up,
and I was like, I was right.
Idiot, Dan.
And then it was like this, get fucked, get fucked.
And I was like, okay.
Dan, something occurred to me that I wanted to point out to you.
Watching this Miko Ranin performance, I understand what's going on now.
You're seeing it.
Yeah, see it.
I see it now.
I can see everything.
Okay.
Miko Rantan, dude.
is Anakin Skywalker.
How'd you know I was going to say that?
I'm seeing it now, too.
Because there are not many Jedi's in the world,
because that's a hard thing.
You're going to have the Medi-Clorian count off the charts.
Miko Rantan's ability, 1.81 points per game in the playoffs, I think.
He is a Jedi.
Those numbers are off the charts.
And he was being trained by one of the most talented
Jedi's we've ever seen, but one of the most hard-ass and by the book and boring
Jedi's ever seen.
I don't know like boring.
Well, you know, he's not that exciting, dude.
He wants it this way, done this way.
These are the rules.
A.k.a. Nathan McKinnon.
And, dude, they got up to some adventures.
Who is Quigon in this scenario for you?
Landy?
Landy.
Ah, Sid.
Because he trained Nate.
Okay.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I'm working on that.
Yeah.
But Ben Kenobi, Obi-Wan, Nathan McKinnon.
He, him and Anakin got out to some adventures.
Great times.
Had a great time.
You are my brother, Miko.
Dude, and they were brothers, just like Miko said.
And then, what do they call Denver, Dan?
What's the nickname of Denver?
Mile high?
He has the high ground.
Nate had the high ground.
Nate had the high ground in Mile High City.
And then they tried, he tried.
he tried to say, give me more money, dude.
Give me more money than you.
And whatever the negotiation went,
he tried to flip over him,
and he was cut down and cast aside,
cast aside,
into a burning pile of lava, dude.
And that was Caroline, and I'm sorry.
Well, dude, think about this.
What color lightsabors do Sith lords use?
Red.
What color are the hurricanes?
Red.
And then he crawled out of that.
and was put back together and ended up on Dallas
where he became more powerful than he had ever been before.
So what I'm trying to bore you here, dude,
is that Miko Ratanid has just begun his absolute reign of fucking terror
where he's going to blow up planets as he just looks at,
if they look at him funny, okay?
But Dallas fans should prepare because this ends poorly,
way down the road, way down the road, this ends poorly.
but right now, congratulations, because you have Darth fucking Vader on your team.
Who's on a revenge tour.
And he is on a revenge door.
He doesn't remember his sister.
He doesn't remember shit.
Dude, all he can see is the dark side.
And for some reason, Dallas just kind of feels like empirey to me.
I have no idea why I feel that way.
But I just think about Dallas.
And I'm like, you know what?
There it is, dude.
There's the death star.
Star.
It was right in front of my fucking face.
It was right.
front of my fucking face. It's right
front of my fucking face.
They're the death stars, dude. They're the
death stars, and they have a young Anakin
who has just become Darth Vader. And he cannot
be stopped right now. He'll fucking choke you out from across
the rink. Miko is on
a revenge tour like I've never seen.
Started with killing,
started with killing Colorado. He's
Darth Vader. If the Stanley
Cup is Dallas, Carolina,
dude, he's darn fucking Vader. He's going to blow up everybody.
I wouldn't even know what to do. The revenge tour
rages on.
But this series, two great performances from these teams.
I don't think anyone's rattled.
Game two will obviously be scenes on Saturday, back up at the wall.
But yeah, my heart continues to be torn into while also enjoying the game so much.
It's crazy because I'm a new Rocket Man and I was, and someone, someone messaged us.
But you had said too that I was like, technically I can be a Rocket Man.
Star is a Rocket E, too.
I said that.
Yeah, that's what I mean, but then someone message too.
gave me a good name. If you're listening, DM again, they said
some guy, he was a, I think he was a pegger. He was like, we are,
we should be something else. It was something with like, uh,
like skymen or something like flying because, because they're jets,
they're pilots. Oh, okay. Um, yeah, if you, if you remember,
wingman, but for now I'm a rocket man and, uh, I'm a wingman. I'm a wingman.
I'm a wingman. Yeah, that's interesting. Uh, and unfortunately, for,
fans of both teams. I am at this point in this series rooting for just seven awesome games.
I literally am like, just give me all these games.
I want them to go back and forth win-win for six straight games. I want them to be one goal
games and then game seven we can figure it out. Yeah. God, what a hockey game. And when,
in your right, Dan, Winnipeg, losing game one at home with the way that went completely fine.
Yeah. You played great. Hellie was there. You punched back. You're going to be okay.
They almost scored at the end. I can't believe that one scramble didn't go in.
What a series this is going to be.
What's up, babes?
This is not an ad read.
This is just a shout out because it means a lot to us, and we want it to mean something to you.
We dropped a ton of new merch.
You've been seeing it.
We've been posting it on our Instagram.
We've been wearing it on the show.
I'm wearing one of them right now, this unbelievable crew neck.
We've got great shirts.
We've got T's, long sleeves.
We've got these crew necks.
We got our fantastic war road collab.
We got the hats and the hoodies.
Everything you could want.
We designed the rink rat shirt.
We've got the Netters Bear, which.
Listen, I love all bears.
There's space for every single bear in my heart,
but it blows the polo bear out of the water.
We've got our F1, Ices Ready T-shirt.
All of the stuff is phenomenal.
My maybe personal favorite recently has become the pizza myth.
They all count.
Also an Ice's Ready shirt.
So we've got our slogans on there.
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It looks awesome.
I put a lot of time into designing these.
CP has approved every single one of them,
rocks every single one of them,
loves every single one of them.
It's all such awesome stuff.
And we want you to have it because we love this Netters community
and we wanted to give you some cool merch to rock.
Have it all summer.
These teas are perfect for summer.
All of the stuff.
The crew necks are great for sleeping,
for cozying up on the couch late at night.
But this stuff is fantastic.
We want you to enjoy it.
It's on our store right now.
So go to Shop Friday beers.
Let me make sure I get that site for you.
Yeah.
Almost Friday.
Dot shop.
That's where we're going to go to.
You're going to find all this stuff.
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Make sure to scoop some today.
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So scoop yourself some right now.
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All right, CP, close me out with the game.
Let's play Game DP.
This game for the new listeners.
It's called Two Real, Two Fake.
I give Dan four former NHL players.
Two of them are real.
Two of them are fake, and he tries to guess which ones they are.
Sometimes it's themed out, sometimes it isn't.
In this case, Dan, all four of these people, if you were to believe me,
all four of these people won the 1967 Stanley Cup with the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Oh, my God.
Because it's 1967 all over again.
What a theme.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
Terry Roquefort.
Okay.
This Sasky right winger was 27 when he won his cup with the Leafs.
Terry ended up playing for eight different teams during his 15-year NHL career,
which was hard to do back then.
Terry finished third in Calder voting his rookie year,
made four NHL All-Star games,
and won a second cup with the arch-rival Canadians in 1971.
Okay. Okay.
Dick Ballin.
This left winger was 30 when he won the first.
the Cup with the Leafs and ended up playing over 1,000 games in his NHL career.
Okay, Dick. With 283 goals and 222 assists. A four-time All-Star, he also won the 62 and 63
Cup with the Leafs. After the 67 season, he would finish his career playing a year for the North
Stars, four for the Rangers, where he'd been previously, and then in 1971, he joined the
newly formed Vancouver Canucks, where he played two more seasons. Dick, this is a, that's a career.
of a career, Dan.
Ready?
Yeah.
Jim McKinney.
The defenseman was 20 years old when the Leifes won the cup during his sophomore season.
He only played six regular season games that year and didn't get in a playoff game.
He would go on to play 13 years on the Leafs Blue Line, playing 594 games and recording
327 points.
He finished his career with one year as a Minnesota North Star, where he only played
10 games, and he did it as a right wing, recording one goal and one assist.
Fuck you.
All right.
Last one.
Alan Stanley.
Alan was 40 years old when the Leafs won the cup.
This defenseman was runner-up in the Calder race in 1948 when he played for the Rangers.
He played for the rags for seven years before being shipped to Chicago for two, then Boston for two, and then his 10-year stint with the Leafs.
He won four cups, 62, 63, 64, and 67 all for Toronto.
In 1969, he finally left Toronto, finishing.
his career with a team only two years old, the Philadelphia Flyers, where he had four goals
and 13 assists in 64 games.
Dear God Almighty.
The 67 Leaps.
The 67 Leaves wagon.
Trick, all of them are real.
Okay.
Alan Stanley's real, because I want him to be real.
I just love that guy.
I love that guy playing that long and getting that cup with Toronto.
Multiple.
That's the last one you mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I think
The Jim McKinney
Little The Winger nod at the end
Makes me feel like it's the classic
That's bullshit
But it's not bullshit because it's real
But it is bullshit because you think I'm going to think it's real
Right
But I'm saying Alan's real
And give me
Give me Terry Rokefort being real
Because I'm not sure about that name
So I'm gonna go Terry Rokefort real
How did you spell Rokefort when I said it?
I went, I wrote it down, but how I think it's spelled is R-O-Q-U-E-F-O-R-T.
Yeah, maybe it's Rockford.
R-O-C-H-E-F-O-R-T.
No, I bet it's R-O-C-H-E-F-R-R-T.
I bet it's Rokeford or maybe Rochefort.
Roche.
Yeah, I don't know.
Terry Rochefort, Dick Ballin, Jim McKinney, Alan Stanley.
You're going Terry.
Real.
Rochefort, real.
Yeah.
And you're going Alan Stanley, real.
Yeah, I think.
Fuck it.
Okay.
Terry DeSaski right winger, third and caller voting.
Won the second cup with the Canadians in 71.
Terry Rochefort is fake.
Not a real person, Dan.
That's a made up guy.
Good name.
Dick Ballin.
And dude.
I'm putting an asterisk on here because you didn't even, you don't even know the name.
You made up a name you don't even know how to say it or spell it.
I looked up other last names, like from the era.
Yeah, fuck you.
Dick Ballin, I was so positive that you were going to go real here because Dick is such that everybody was named Dick back.
There were like 10 dicks on the roster.
Dick Ballin, the left wing are thousand games.
Rangers, Canucks, finished the year with his Canucks.
is fake.
Oh,
good job.
Dude,
the fact that you kept reading his stats,
like as if anyone cares,
it's not a real person.
Okay, so Dick's fake.
Yep.
Come on.
I need this.
Jim McKinney.
Yeah.
Wait.
Defenseman?
We had fake fake.
Yeah.
Oh, so I'm...
So you're happy, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're happy.
Because the next two,
Jim McKinney.
Defenseman 20 years old
when they won the cup,
played six regular season games, didn't get in the playoffs,
ended up playing 594 games, 13 years to the Leaf,
finished his career on the Minnesota North Stars as a right wing.
Real.
And that means Alan is real.
Which means Alan Stanley, 40 years old when he won the Cup of the Leafs,
won four cups with the Leafs, played for the Philadelphia Flyers.
When he finally left, also played for the Rangers, the Hawks, and the Bees.
I feel like guys back then, they suitcases heavy.
Alan Stanley 40 fucking years old when they won that cup.
What a ledge.
Four cups with the Leafs, Stan.
I'm going to need Toronto listeners.
If any of you have an old school Leafs Allen Stanley jersey,
let me see it.
Yeah, they're going to ask for the fucking jersey.
No.
Just a pick.
Just a pick.
That would be nasty.
Someone's dad has an Allen Stanley jersey.
Hey, that was a great round.
Great stuff by UCP.
I think good stuff by me as well.
Great job.
One and one.
That's my favorite.
I prefer the one and one.
I prefer the one in ones.
All right.
Well, we got unbelievable series going on right now.
Tomorrow night, tonight when you're listening.
Yep.
What do we got?
Let's see.
It's got to be Cains Cains, right?
And that'll be Thursday.
Yeah, Caps, Cains.
And Vegas, Vegas Oilers.
All right.
Bang, bang.
We got a great Thursday night ahead of us.
Unbelievable episode here.
Make sure to subscribe to the YouTube.
Check out the merch.
Snag some merch.
Search. Follow us on the socials.
Tune in Friday morning for the live show.
Beautiful stuff, guys.
Thank you so much for following along.
These playoffs, just keep on cooking.
And until we see you next time on your screens.
Skate hard.
Martha listens to her favorite band all the time.
In the car?
Jim.
Even sleeping.
So when they finally went on tour,
Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live.
She saved.
So much she got her seat close enough to actually see and hear them.
Sort of.
You were made to scream from the front row.
We were made to quietly save you more.
Expedia, made to travel.
Savings vary and subject to availability.
