Empty Netters Podcast - The Yzerplan Goes Up In Smoke As The Red Wings Fire Stevie Y

Episode Date: July 16, 2026

Stevie Y is OUT the future of the Red Wings does not look good. Celebrini is on the cover of NHL. The Kings are holding out for a super star. Laine could be out of the league soon. And the boys are hitting Fanatics Fest with an amazing guest interview! The Islanders are letting fans design the third jersey. We’ve got a bad ass seal on the loose. Cyclone Diarrhea is coming for all of us. And it’s Part 2 of our Nickelodeon Blind Rankings.  Chapters: 0:00 - Intro 3:00 - Steve Yzerman Steps Down 18:57 - Macklin Makes the Cover of NHL 27 24:01 - Kings Ransom Part 2 29:14 - Patrik Laine Injury Issues 34:14 - Fanatics Fest 39:14 - What's Going On In The World? 41:21 - Neil the Elephant Seal 48:41 - Watch Out for The Diarrhea Virus! 56:11 - New York Islanders Jersey Contest 1:00:45 - Netters on Hit Different Golf 1:05:27 - Fraud Watch / Top Hits 1:32:05 - Blind Ranking Live Action Nickelodeon Shows PRESENTED by BetMGM. Download the BETMGM app and use code “NETTERS” and enjoy up to $1500 in bonus bets if you lose your first wager! Thanks to our Sponsors! BetMGM: Use bonus code NETTERS when signing up to receive up to $1500 in bonus bets if your first bet loses. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER (Available in the US) 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY) 1-800-327-5050 (MA), 1-800-NEXT-STEP (AZ), 1-800-BETS-OFF (IA), 1-800-981-0023 (PR) 21+ only. Please Gamble Responsibly. See BetMGM.com for Terms. First Bet Offer for new customers only. Subject to eligibility requirements. Bonus bets are non-withdrawable. In partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel. This promotional offer is not available in New York, Nevada, Ontario, or Puerto Rico. LUCY is the only pouch that delivers long lasting, on demand flavor. Get 20% off your first order when you buy online at lucy.co/NETTERS with code NETTERS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Empty Netters podcast. Can you believe what this has become? There was a full 48 hours where I felt like I was like literally Superman. Jumbo loves playing Fortnite, so he gets on the sticks. Did TR show you the sauna cycle, or was that all year? No, no, I invented that. Almost a year now that I haven't taken a body check. That's kind of nice.

So we are back. We are horned up, and we are going deep. Finish tonight with some chicken fingers and a few guineasas and ran into you guys. That's where this pod came to life. Ice is ready and we're back with another episode of the empty-kniters podcast brought to you by BetMGM. I am one of your hosts, Dan Powers. We got Dr. Watkins back on the sticks. Hello, everybody.

And we got CP over here in a pretty crazy fit. As always. Show us your fit. I was going to wait, but dude. Oh, you can wait. That's all. I mean, do you think we were going to be able to talk on this show and act like you're not wearing something crazy? You guys talking to Mike

I'm too far away Chris has a bunch of Fanatics Fest stuff on and it's pretty sweet The jackets I like the jacket They just sent it to us It feels like a

NASCAR jacket Yeah Especially that part Look at that's a check of flag If I ever seen one It's serving old Pepsi can From the 90s That's a good service

As you drink What's on here Is this a skull Are you an idiot I just put it on. I didn't really look. Yeah. Well, what's interesting is it looks like a skeleton,

but he's also absolutely jacked. And like he's, it's a skull, but the body is like lean and mean. He's like crushing the subway. Yeah. Oh, he's also hooping. Yeah, he's hooping.

He's holding the top. It's like he's riding. He's straddling and riding a subway car. Like the sandworm. A little bit. Yeah, he is sort of. He is sort of shy eluding that. He's got the,

It's just his championship ring, maybe? He's got Tims on. He's got Timberland. Oh, those are Timberland. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you're looking at this upside down, but your inability to identify anything on this shirt is remarkable. It's like when you give a kid a picture book, and you're like, point to the owl. What's happening?

No, that's a frog. This is pretty cool, sir. The Statue of Liberty is in the W of New York, which is cool. I dig it. Oh, oh. Let's just sit down. Have a seat. But it's great.

It all looks great. All looks great. Extremely sick. Folks, we've got a fun episode for you today. Massive news, Stevie Y has stepped down. So we're going to get into the Eyser plan or what should have been. We're going to do some NHL newsprint action, checking out what's going on in the world. Then we're going to play a little bit of fraud watch and top hits.

And a blind ranking. Let's just jump right into Steve Iserman. Yep. I don't think there's anything other to, there's nothing to do other than Steve Iserman steps down as GM of the Red Wings and this is tough. Dude, I have a thought. I've always said, the only example I can come up with to give you guys right now is expressions.

I love cool idioms. Yeah. And I love thinking about the first time it was said. where somebody was like, dude, complain. I use this one all the time, but someone's like, complain, and they'll probably help you.

And they go, are you sure? And they go, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. And I was like, it's, whoa. Great idiot. You're right. This squeaky wheel does get the grease. And sometimes I think we do things

as a society, like for the first time, and then we think we're getting away with it, but then we do it so many times that it's not real anymore. So, for example, so-and-so has stepped down. The first time someone was clearly fired, and they went, dude, just say you're stepping down. It probably worked.

Because we went, whoa, he stepped down. And now I cannot fathom why we still put on this charade. When he goes, I've stepped down. I guess, well, you were fired. And literally, why did you say I stepped down when we all know you were fired? This one's especially tough because he's stepping, they go, he's stepping down. He's going to transition to being an advisor. And I'm like, that's like not even a real rule.

Of course not dead. Of course. They're protecting that ego. And why would you give him a real role after what he's done in his real role? I feel duped. I will put a hand up. I have been so defensive of Steve Eisenman over the course of this program that we host here. And even with every misstep, I was like, I believe, I believe something is going on here.

But as you know, or I would hope you would back me up over the past two years, I've been like, dude, what are you doing? Every deadline and every summer, I think the Izer plan is going to materialize and then nothing happens. And I'm like, okay, I don't know what to say anymore. I don't know how to defend you anymore. That's what we said, dude. There is no eyeser plan. Yeah. So this has just felt like a long time coming, frankly.

And I just don't get, though, what teams are doing when Dylan Larkin requests a trade. that had to have been a big piece of these wheels starting to move, right? Oh, from front office. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's right. And it's then like you let him draft.

You let him go through an entire free agency and do nothing but sign Victor Arvetson. And then you go like this, now you're fired. Yeah. And I'm like, wouldn't it have been nice if you were already thinking about this to give someone else a shot to do that drafting and to do the free agent's signings or attempts. Yeah. And I think you can't tell him. I don't think, because my fear, Dan, was going to be to, when did Dylan ask for that trade? Pretty mid-June or something? Uh, yes. No, we were, we were, yeah, no, it was early June because we were, we were in Carolina when that happened. Yes. I think we were game two. Yeah.

It was right before game two. What I was going to say was, it's a kind of a tough ask to hire someone two and a half weeks before the draft and three weeks before free agency starts and go, go, trade larkin, get ready for the draft. You know, that's just a big ask, I think. Maybe someone could do it, but that's just felt, that would have felt like a lot for me to the point that I almost wish you would tell him, you go, hey dude, you're fired, but we need you to get your shit together and help us draft and trade larkin, but that wouldn't have worked either. So I think they were just fucked and you were praying that you go, Stevie, you're here forever. We need your best draft of all time. And then you try to get your best out of him and then you

unceremoniously cut his head off right after that. Here's a take. I feel like when, and this is going to be a contradictory take because there's a great example of this not being how you should operate that happened a couple months ago. I hate the way you're sitting and looking at me. I'd like you to change everything you're doing. The way your hands are folded. and the way you're, it feels like we're in a deposition. I actually, right before you said, that felt so good. I literally was like, I'm actually so comfortable. Wow.

Sometimes I'm fidgety. This is amazing. I feel like I'm potting at my best right now. I'm sorry. Objection. Yeah. And then you said that. I hate, I'm sorry.

It's just like, it felt like we were in court. You don't, why don't you put your hands behind your head? Yeah. Now you look. you look chill. But then now you're way too far from the money. Yeah. No.

All right. It's a little bit better. I think that when someone requests a trade, you should do it immediately. You should trade them immediately? How about this take? Okay? Hear me out. The longer you wait, the more people are able to talk about it.

The more fucking journos are allowed to write their stupid little article about what you could get. The more idiot creators, like us get to make videos. It's like, here's what you could get for Dylan Larkin. Don't let a bunch of narratives start about what the value is, this, that, the other. Just start fucking slinging deals, dude. If Dylan Larkin called me and went like this, hey. Yeah, I'm sorry, man.

I just want a new start. I want a new change. I want a chance to win. I go like this. I'm absolutely bummed, dude, but I understand. Hang up that phone. I pick up another and go like this. I got Dylan Larkin on the block.

What can you give me? Yeah. I think, and you're going to have to try to remember which one this was, I believe it was either Johnny Hockey or Kachuk, Huberto. Uh-huh. But I don't, we both don't like the boys' club of GMs for the RFA shit. Like that seems stupid. What I do love and respect is, it was one of those big trades.

I forget which one. The trade got done out of fucking nowhere. And then there were all these reports where the G. GM of whichever team it was was like, yeah, they told me. I said, please don't tell anyone, because it goes to hell. I started calling GMs, here are my offers, please don't tell anyone, and no one did, because they all could have killed me with the leverage, but we respect the game, and they kept it quiet. I love that. And that's what I would have done here. As soon as Dylan called, Odegon understood, I will do everything in my power to get you somewhere

you're happy. Please have your team not leak this to the press with your three team. Tell me your three teams. I don't need the whole world hearing that you will only go, you know, just tell me, I will handle, you will get traded. That's what should have happened. Well, I mean, I don't really get what you're saying, pal. Like, you're literally just saying that you think GM should try to make trades. I'm like, yeah, I agree. I, like, I understand you're saying that you don't want people to leak stuff, but like that, I don't think that's, or that's not the point that I was trying to make. I'm trying to make a point that's like, what are you waiting for?

I would be Billy Bean on deadline day. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to say. Like start fucking getting shit going, dude. Because all these, all this drawout and then the way that you handle it where you're like, oh, you know, I'm not going to get fleeced here. I'm like, dude, you start talking about getting fleeced. That's how you get fleeced.

Just like, do your job. Like get shit working. I bet he was. I bet he made some phone calls. I doubt it, pal, because it is July 15th. I love the idea of your like, Dylan Locken tells us with that, and he's like, okay. And then just hasn't done anything. I legitimately think that that's possible.

It is what happened so far. Yeah. I mean, literally, it is what has happened. It's been a month and a half, pretty much. She did say there's no guarantee he can do it, though, right? Remember he's on a contract? I think that was kind of the arrogance of like, I'm not going to get strong-armed. And I'm like, well, your captain and first line center doesn't want to play for your team.

Yeah. So you've already been strong armed. So fucking do something, dude. It's like, I almost respect it more when people are like, it's a way different situation. But when the Rangers traded for Patrick Kane, we talked about it for so long, they got fleeced because he was like, I will only go to the Rangers. But it's like, at least you made a fucking trade, dude. And now you can move on and try to figure something out. Yeah.

That is way different here because Dylan. Larkin is massively under contract. He's 29 years old and is a star player in the league, in my opinion. The tricky thing, though, is the fans, or I think at least, fans lose their shit over a bad trade. So if you go, I just got to get Larkin out of here. And then it gets announced, like, Dylan Larkin has been traded to the wild for a bag of pucks. You go, are you fucking kidding me? Well, sure. Versus Dillon Larkin is just still on the wings, disgruntled. But you as a fan go, whatever, we still have Dylan Larkin. And then if Dylan Larkin holds out, because he's like, I said, trade me, then the fans are like,

fuck you, Dylan. You know, instead of like, fuck you, Steve for trading him for pucks. Yeah, I, I, that's a great take for self-preservation. But like, I, I just don't think that's the way to do a good job here. Again, I don't know shit. I'm just fucking, I'm talking about the movie Moneyball here and playing FIFA manager mode. But genuinely, I don't think I've ever seen it go well when people play this game. When the GM is speaking about a player, now we're talking about trades with specific people,

but when a GM is talking about a player who doesn't want to be there, it's just always messy to me. I'm like, just make a deal, dude. Yeah. And it's like, what's stopping you for, what's, Dylan goes like this. Here are my three teams. I would go, I would immediately sit down with myself or my team and go, this is what I will do this for. And listen, to your point, this is maybe exactly what he did. But I would go, okay, wild this, Florida, this, Vegas, this.

And I would call all three and go, I have Dylan Larkin, this is exactly what I want. Do not pick up the phone and talk to me again unless you can do this or unless you have a rebuttal. Goodbye. And I would go, let's see. And then it would be a, I would play a game. of this person said they can't do that. I would either accept their return or go, nope, I now

need this. And I would literally just do that nonstop until the deal was done. Truly. Yeah, yeah. I hear you, but I'm my guess and I don't know shit either, but my guess is he did exactly that. On the day one, he went again, I just said that. Like you you said maybe he has been doing that.

And I'm saying let's live in a world where he didn't. Because in my opinion, there is no fucking way that you can do this and it's been 40 days. Because personally, I don't believe that every team that he talked to was so like, we will literally only give you a third round pick. Because then it's just like, okay, this is an unrealistic human being. Is my opinion. I just, you have to get shit like this done. And it's, it's, this is unfortunately, obviously there hasn't been significant trade request out of Detroit, but it's like, I don't know, every step of the way, it's felt like, oh, they just barely didn't do enough. And then when they go get a player like Gibson or like Falk, you're like this, it kind of wasn't enough. And it's like that's been going on for fucking seven years. Do you think if Larkin had been traded by now, Aishman would have a job? I don't think so. I think, honest to God, I bet that they were hoping that he would have been.

they would have gone, now you're fired, because it would have been in the wake of your captain requesting a trade only two and a half, three years into his big deal. It just looks great for whoever makes this decision, because they're like, dude, Larkin's been traded, you're fired. And everyone would have been like, oh yeah, of course. He quiet quit. Yeah, but now it's this like weird, oh yeah, you still have this massive trade looming and we're now passing this on to a new person, I think it would have been better if he had been traded and then he gets fired. Me too. Yeah.

I think it's just as hard. To an advisory role. Yeah. I think it's just as hard for whoever they bring in now to go, hey, what's up? You're hired. You have to trade Dylan Larkin immediately. Yes. It's brutal.

And he's like, oh, okay. The Wings never made the playoffs under Stevie-I. That is insane. That's crazy. Not once. Seven years span. Also, I feel like we're all waking up from this like silent stupor of being like, Eizerman was a sales.

I was in it. I used to walk around and be like this. All the success in Tampa was actually all because of him, even though he wasn't the GM when they won those cups. And now he came here and everyone was like, the Eiser plan is happening. And we're seven years in. They never made the playoffs once.

Dylan Larkin has requested a trade and you're done. Dunions. Yeah. Like, does this man get the GM job again? probably I don't know the way the league works this shit happens all the time so probably but I do think this tenure was long enough put it this way anybody else who wasn't a wings legend would have been fired years ago yeah and then they definitely would have got another job because they would have been they would have gone oh you had three bad years but he he has a bad sample size here yeah which is not good also two more topics for you on this this one. Number one, this always makes me bashful about hiring legends. Yeah. Because then when this happens, you're like, that fucking sucked. Like, it's with the Bruins when people are like, bring Chara in, like, make Chara the GM, make Bergeron the GM. I'm like, that would be great if it goes

well. Yeah. If it doesn't go well, it fucking sucks. Like we're, you see it in LA with Blakey. Like Blakey gets fired and you're like, ooh, that's tough. And like, if Robitai gets fired, that's tough. especially if things start going really shit. Yeah. Like there's a bunch of Red Wings fans right now who are like, I fucking hate Steve Eisenman. And I'm like, that sucks, dude. Because like that is a person you should love forever no matter what.

But a bunch of young Red Wing fans are like, who is this fucking pothead? Fuck you. And I'm like, no, dude, do not think that. He's the man. That is brutal. The other thing quickly is, are the Red Wings like, fucked, fucked.

Oh, yeah. They are the pronger was talking about it this morning he was like what is their core like Raymond and cider I you know like that's it now like Larkin's gone it just it's they're in a weird weird spot dude like they just traded COSA they're I don't know what is happening same they are in they're in purgatory it's a nightmare yeah dark days for Detroit. Unless you trade Larkin for Matthews. Which I doubt happens. Same. Okay. Let's get into a

news blitz. Five minutes on the clock for each topic. I'm ready. Starting now. Macklin Celebrini's on the cover of NHL 27 and there are reports that he is willing to take a pay cut to keep the sharks good forever. Thoughts.

One, should I take a bow? I was about to say, do not try to claim this because it is what we both said from the beginning. And I interrupted you last episode and go, don't try to claim McClain is proving your point because Macklin is different. You know I said exactly that. Right, but I'm right. So, well, so am I. Okay. Well, let's both take a bow then because we are geniuses. And there was no natural born universe where he was going to take 18 mil or more.

And people thought that. Like, there were actually people who were like, this is the bar now. There are a lot of people who are going, Macklin's going to get paid 25 mil a year. And I don't think he's going to do that. I don't like that he's on the cover. I think he is different, so nothing faces him except being sick at hockey, so I'm not actually saying any coverage of shit. But I just don't need that for him yet. Yeah. Is there an NHL coverage?

Not really, but that shit happened to Zegras. I actually think that mattered. Oh, that was it? like Zegris got on the cover and then like all hell broke loose. What sport is the jinx in? Madden. Madden Curse is like a what was a significant thing. Yes.

Here's my take. I don't give a flying fuck about the cover of sports video games anymore. I think it is so fucking meaningless to me. Especially now that the games aren't physical copies anymore. Do you hear about that? So it like doesn't matter. First of all, it's really cool. It's really cool for Macklin.

That's awesome. Also, it looks sick. Like the colors, I think it's the deluxe edition. The color scheming with his jersey looks really awesome. And I'm sure there's a nice little payday for this. I don't, I don't, I mean, this NHL has not been a good video game in a long time either. Yeah, why is that? I don't know.

It's just bad. But yeah, it's cool. And I expected him to be on many covers, many, many covers. So whatever. And actually, maybe that's cool. Maybe it starts down. Maybe he's on the cover for the next 10 years. And we started a dynastic run.

And then they change it to Maclin Celebrini 3D hockey. Yeah, yeah. Dude, that was a great game. Yeah. That would be, that actually would be too much. Because then there's a lot of pressure. The pressure that comes with an NHL cover, it's something. The pressure that comes by having it called Maclin Celebrini's 3D hockey.

Well, you've got to win a couple cups before you can do that. Without, listen, this is maybe a little premature, but without question, this is, This is the, I don't want to say this solidifies it. I feel like it already did. But he, this moment is big in solidifying that like we had Sid, then we had Connor, now we have this kid. Like it is, he has answered every single question and is just superstar, superstar, superstar. When he was literally the best player on the Olympic team, that's when it was all there. I actually think it was Worlds too.

Like he went and did Worlds and like got the sea and then Crosby joined the team and he kept and was the best player there and like one player of the tournament. Like I think it's just he is, he was built on a laboratory. Yeah. It's unbelievable. And he's just doing everything. And now he's about to take a pay cut and all of a sudden the sharks are a dynasty. Yes.

Which is, oh, we don't have to do it again, but that's all someone else had to do. Well, now he's taken care of his family. Now he's, now he's saving kids. Yeah, see, Mac. And you're mad at someone for saving kids. Max's got gold state money. Max got Golden State money. You know, Leo didn't have that.

True. That's a factor. People need to consider that. It is what's funny, you never consider this. When you have a superstar like Sid who's like this, I am taking less, like Berg, I am taking less. And then that makes everyone else take less. You wonder those people who are like this, fuck you, dude. Yeah.

I could have been rich. I didn't want to be on this fucking team. I could have been rich. I don't come from Golden State money. I need money. Now you're making me take less. Trade me, dude. That is bullshit.

Yeah, taking less only works if everyone does. I also got to tell you, the cost of living in Pittsburgh is like half of what it is in California. It's so cheap. In the Bay Area. The Bay Area is the most expensive place in the world. Sid, that little snake, he's been living in the burbs outside of Pittsburgh. Smart man. He's like, smart man.

Milk is 20 cents. Gas is free. But it's special times for the sharks. We don't even need this five minutes. How much time do we have left? You have 23 seconds left. 23 seconds to say whatever you want. Okay.

Who is going to be the cover next year, if not Mac? Shafin. Predict right now. Ooh, good guess. Nice. Not guess. It is. They've already announced.

It is Matthew Shaver. Okay. Everyone on Kelsey. Oh, yeah. I would bet on bed of GM, but they don't have that. Yeah, I was going to say, careful. Prediction market. Matthew Schaefer, cover of NHL 28 confirmed.

Yep. Send me and Dan half of the money. Unbelievable. Kings Ransom Part 2. So Elliot Friedman went on a little rant the other day, talking about the king. kings and their financial flexibility, bringing up the signings that they have, like Hala, like Zuccarello, like Pears, like Lawton.

And a lot of people were like, oh, they're bringing in all these old vets. What are they doing? What are they doing? The other take is they are maintaining financial flexibility by signing all of these short-term deals with veterans who are going to keep the team solid, probably right on that last playoff spot bubble area, in hopes of landing a whale in the next year or two. And now everyone is speculating if he means the possibility of an Austin Matthews or a Connor McDavid.

So the swirling talk going on right now is that Holland is trying to keep the team relatively competitive but not commit any money long term to anyone other than their young budding stars like Brent Clark, Quentin Byfield, things like that, Adrian Kempi, so they can bring in one of these guys. Do you think there's any truth to that? Yes. I forget who we were talking about recently, but I think that if you are not the Ducks, well, whatever, the Ducks Sharks, these teams were building something, handing out contracts

to the core, then yes. And God, who were we talking about? I always would go so, so, so less in term. Because I want to be able to bob and weave every year. I wish, I've long said, I wish there was literally a rule that contracts could only be one year. And it was like a free-for-all at the end of every season. Yeah.

And if I was a GM and didn't have something set, the future looks so bright, you'd have to rake me over the calls to get anything long because I just want to be able to go, yep, great, plug and play and next year maybe, next year maybe, always have the chance because some years, teams have to just go, we don't have the chance. And as we're pretty well aware in most sports, hockey, funnily enough, is probably the most unique here. You know before the season starts if you can win in every sport. And if you can't win, then why in fuck would I care as a fan if I'm going, hey, we're going to be a little worse this year because I handed out some short contracts to old guys. Yeah.

We're just going to not win more obviously than we were going to not win anyway. But fans are like, what do you mean? This guy's old and stinks. And I'm like, who cares? You stink. Yeah. You're a horrible team. Stay horrible.

And then next year, now maybe we could be good. Versus if you made me do the other thing, we would never be good. Yeah. It's interesting to say when you look at this team, they only have two players who are on a full no move. That is Panarin and Kempi. And then

they only have one, two, or if it's passed, they only have one, two, three players who are signed past 2029. So there is validity in that they are very financially free.

No one is really locked up. They have every Every contract within reason is quite movable. And if you think about it that way, you could also think about a trade deadline situation where all of a sudden you have a guy and you're getting great stuff back. That is the big thing. With picks and prospects, they're a little thin. Yeah. So when you talk about one of these whales, you're like, well, what are you sending you?

But the question is, is Holland playing for a at the deadline? line, I'm going to ship out a ton of this stuff and try to bring in someone with what I get back from that. Yeah. And I don't know. I don't know if that's the case. Again, so far, Holland has been a bit of a head scratcher for me where I'm like, everyone's like, oh, here comes Holland. Like, he's, he's going to mix things up. And I'm like, I don't think he has at all. And now you are either looking at the situation that has happened and you're like, oh, there is a big plan in place here, or it's a Heiser plan situation. And in a year, two years, we go like this. oh wait, nothing happened.

And you're like, oh, that's the risk for me of playing the game of like, in two years, I'm going to pull off blank. Because then if you don't, and that was your big plan, you're a fucking idiot, you're fired, and you have destroyed this team. Yep. But I think that's okay. I mean, it would suck for the Kings and Kings fans. But I think as a GM, rather than just live, or if it was me, rather than just living in the margins

of we stink, we maybe are a bubble team, I would do this and then crash and burn or be a hero. You know, because if it doesn't work, I go, well, that was my plan and it didn't work. I'm sorry. And I will happily step down and then go on my merry way, bump it down the road. Two things, Dan. One, he could be, could be gambling that one of those guys, for example, gets to free agency. Because then you're not giving up anything. We almost never see that anymore.

But it wouldn't be the most shocking thing ever if, like, Austin Matthews went, I would like to test free agency. I'd go, wow. I would go, wow, for sure. But, you know, it could happen. And then two, sucks for guys like Drew Doughty who go, okay, so we're sinking my last two years. And I go, yes. He's one year. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Last topic. Patrick Linae. The crossroads have officially begun. Patrick Linae is currently a UFA. He does not have a team. He is newly 28 years old.

He only played five games last year. He had 44 goals in his second season in the NHL. and had 20 plus goals in three of the last five. But we are looking at a scenario where there is a world where Patrick Linae is out of the NHL. Not this year. He's obviously getting signed, but I'm saying if this year he signs a deal,

it doesn't go well, he gets hurt again. You now start asking the question, like, is he going to get another deal somewhere? I think that is insane. I read so many articles talking about the Linae situation, and every single one of them was like, this is kind of a make or break year for him. Either he is going to figure it out,

stay healthy or he is not in the national hockey league anymore. And I was like, what? This guy was a second overall pick and fucking ripped 30 plus goals and then 44 goals in his first two years. And who else went that year? Number one was someone very significant that you should be able to get. Matthews? 6016. Because I just remember going, wow. Yeah, it was Matthews. Great job, Chris. I remember going, wow, what a steal line ended up being at two. You know, miracle. He felt like he lost the Matthews lottery and then it's like, what incredible value. And now I'm like, he's currently going to be a bust now if they're like, yeah, he's out of the league.

Yeah. I am with you, dude. It is flabbergasting. I think it's just he obviously has skill. So I'm going, can you find your role? Do your job, Bill Belichick. And if he can't, then he's gone. But do you think he's a guy that would just play in the K, for example?

Legitimately, I don't know. Yeah. Like, to me, he seems like such a homie in that, like, he's big in the fashion. Like, he's funny on camera. Like, he doesn't really seem like a get the fuck away from me. I'll just go play hockey anywhere type of guy. But at the same time, I'm like, you're 28, pal. There's no way that you are good to just hang them up here.

Like you'd probably need a couple more contracts. I think it is utterly stunning the idea of a guy who scored 44 goals in the national in his second year is 28 and is having a hard time finding a contract. That's what's tough about Linae for me is it's not like he had a hard time adjusting. He is definitely one of these guys. He's like a Matthews at times. he's like a Jake DeBrusk, a Chris Kreider, where it's like, you're going to have 35 goals and only 20 assists. And I don't like that type of player.

I don't care if you're a wing. I think, as I've said multiple times on this show, I think it is insane when you are a player in the league and you're getting first line, first power play minutes, and you don't have as many assists as you do goals every year after year. And that's what he is. There's a part of me that's like, your game is not good. not ideal for a team. Like, you've got to change your ways to really even that shit out to be a valuable player. And that is a thing. He obviously has an unbelievable shot. His one-timer's

incredible. But for me, it's like he's six four. And he's getting injured over and over again. And that sucks, man. Like, you know, injuries are fucking brutal. You never want to joke around about being genuine. It's like sucks if a guy's career at 28 is like maybe this is it, dude. Like five games last year. Like he was so banged. Yeah. Fuck. So to me it's like, buddy, you've got to fucking focus on that. And hopefully he is. But it's like I would hope that this summer and all of next year, like call Tom Brady. Seriously. Yeah. Yeah. Like figure out a way to become more pliable. Figure out a way to take care of your body so you never get injured again because this, this is it. Like this year is insanely important. And he's only going to get a one year deal, right?

I would assume so. There's no planet where he gets more than one year. And again, at 28, when you scored 44 in your second year, that must feel nuts. So it's like, my advice to him, dude, is like, you got to become a fucking massive locker room guy and you've got to work on your body being the most durable thing in the world. Otherwise, this is one of the great tragedies of all time. Because he feels like such an asset. If he could get it together at all. Dude, a power play one-time weapon, who again, at one point at what, like 19 years or no,

it was probably 20 years old, scored 44 goals. there was a world after he got drafted where people were talking about is he better than Matthews. Like, let's talk about that. Yeah, right. Buddy, let's get back on track here. Call Tom. Call Tom. Call Tom, call Alex Guerrero, start working on it.

Boom. Perfect. Now it is time to take a quick second to tease something. Yes, we, as we've said, boom. we are off to Fanatics Fest this weekend. It starts tomorrow. We will be there on Saturday. Our show live taping, if you were going to be there, our show is at 5 o'clock on Saturday. I think we can say who we're interviewing. I mean, it's public that he's there. I, yep, but I don't want to do it. Okay. I don't want to say it because I want to tease it with awesome footage of it.

Okay, so we have a fucking all-timer lined up for Saturday. Absolutely banger guest. And Fanatics Fest is going crazy, dude. I actually didn't realize how much of a Numbito session it is. It's unbelievable, dude. We broke into the card game. We're doing card rips, and there's just, like, Tops is going to be there with unbelievable releases, so we're going to be dipping our toes. By every box, I can get my hands on it? Yeah, we're going to be guy.

Can I tell you some talent I'm excited about? Yeah, absolutely. Tom Brady? Yeah. He won't talk to you. David Beckham? He will talk to me. I've met him.

You haven't done shit. I fucking blow me, dude, I met him. Joker, kind of. That'd be cool. All the Knicks are there. I'm just such a Federer guy. Yeah, I don't care. It's still Joker.

The Undertaker? Unbelievable. Wait, the pro wrestler? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Big Poppy. Sick. Caca.

So sick. So sick. Dude. Oh my God. God, he's incredible. Flow. That'd be cool. like flow balligan

yep that was kind of a crazy flow drop assuming everyone that's our boy I thought it was flow from progressive I think most people thought that too that would actually be Numbies I think most people

whoa look at this Dan Roger Clements just it's going to be bottom right here for you unthinkable picture to use for no I like it like everyone else's current day

we just have like an old Clemens picture Whoa, Charlie Davies, gas. Okay, and then check this out, Dan. This is awesome. When you filter it to NHL, all the Hughes Bros will be there, as you know. Flower. Love.

Big Hank. Hell yeah. Hank Lundquist. Brock Nelson. I want to shake his hand. Time traveler. I'll shake that man's hand in time and ask him what the future is going to be like. Or also.

How do I die, Brock? Just go like this. You are an American hero. Thank you for everything you've done. So sick. All-time lineup at Fanatics Fest. We are really pumped. I'm really pumped.

The person you're interviewing, are they like top 10 in the NHL all time? Can we tease it? That's a great question. That is a great question. Just to give people a little taste? I would say most people would say, oh, I would say certainly fans of his

would go fucking absolutely. They would even say higher. So, yes. So top five. There are some people who would think that. Okay. God, Wemby's going in, like, a lot of the Knicks are going. And I would not want to be anywhere.

I'm sure he's not a contract. But I wouldn't want to be anywhere in the year. I don't know. It's tummy sticks in the NBA. Yeah, true, true, true. But either way, it's going to be an absolute ripper of a time. Can't wait. If you're there, make sure to come up, say what's up.

We're going to be doing some meet and greet stuff, some hangouts. It'll be awesome. And shout up fanatics, man. Always taking care of us. We're very excited. This is very, very cool. All right, let's take a quick ad break and jump right back in. There are two games left in the World Cup.

I know you're thinking, no, Chris, there's one game left. There's the championship on Sunday. Don't forget that the World Cup does that bronze medal game. There is a game on Saturday. And it's going to be France. And I'm recording this before the England game. So I don't know who it's going to be, but it's going to be France versus the loser of England, Argentina. And then the winner is going to be playing Spain in the World Cup final,

which means there are two games left, which means, coincidentally enough, you can get in on the BetMGM two. up early payout. It is the greatest World Cup promotion I have ever seen in my life. Literally, you just place a pregame match result. Spain's going to win the World Cup. If they go up by two, at any point in the game, you win. The bet is over.

We've seen these outrageous comebacks. It does not matter. If you have the two up early payout and your team goes up to game over, cash that ticket, you have a winner. Unbelievable stuff. So at any point, anything could happen. It goes to penalties. Who cares? You win. So it is offered, and every match, all tournament,

and there's two left, please take advantage. And if you haven't got it in on the BetMGM action yet, do it right now and use that promo code Netters. That's N-E-T-T-T-E-R-S. When you sign up, you get a $1,500 new player offer, which is incredible. You get the two-up early payout. And then we're going to get cooking into baseball, and then football's around the corner. Just get in on the fun right now. You're going to love it.

BetM-G-M-G-M-G-M-G-M-M-G-E-LegED. What's going on in the world? Would you guys say that you keep up with news or not really? I feel like I do. You do. Yeah, too much. Because causing me mental stress. Yeah, I don't at all.

Have you thought about this? Don't do that. You know, yeah, but no, because I feel like I got to be responsible for understanding the world around me. I can't be an artist in a vacuum. Yeah, but don't let it bother you. Dude, I'm not going to get into this with you guys right now, It's very difficult for me. I'm a very empathetic guy.

Hey, I was about to say it is absolutely ironic for me to say that because I'm the exact same way. But I have started doing the... You got to put some blinders on. Well, not so much that, but it's the like when I check out what's going on in the world, and here's some of the topics I have for you guys, I kind of just look up like, what's the good news in the world today? Yeah, what's going to make me feel good? And then I also don't go down the route.

Like when I see a headline that's like, here's something terrible that's going on with our I just go like this. Nope. Not for me. Not for me because it's brutal. Yeah, I don't look at the news ever. Literally, I have no clue. But I will say, Evan, to your point, lately I have felt insecure at times where we're at a

gathering or something and everyone's like, so, you know, the bombs that got dropped somewhere. And I'm like, I'm like, God, I am such a child. So I don't love that part. Just give me my mac and cheese. Yeah, yeah, literally. Well, yeah, I look, it's a superpower to have the knowledge and not let it, like, affect you. But I feel like if you don't, I feel like people that absorb it all the time.

Like, I imagine working in a newsroom, you would, like, absorb so much that you get numb to it. So you're just like, yeah, whatever. You know about it and you don't care. It's hard to be in that middle when you know about it and you care. Yes. But let's talk about fun things, right? I agree. So one of my first things that I saw today is this story about Neil, the elephant seal.

Mm-hmm. You know about Neil? No. Okay. So Neil is an elephant seal in Australia who weighs like over 2,000 pounds. And apparently this dude, he's in Tasmania. I think that's a place. Yeah, sure is.

Yeah. The devil is. Yeah. Yeah, this is the devil. The guy that goes, blab, that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Tasmanian devil. He is this seal that comes up out of the water like twice a year so he can molt, get rid of his fur and like all that.

But he is an absolute menace. So this dude has become famous in his little town and he just pops up and he'll like get, he'll go in the street, he'll block traffic. He's been known to belly flop on cars. He eats traffic cones and just, like is out of control. And people are like, oh, Neil is so funny.

It's awesome. Is molting season? Is that a thing? Does he come out at the same time every year? I think around now is when Neil is said to come out a lot. But here's the thing, dude, Neil has 1.5 million followers on TikTok. He has a TikTok? Yeah.

Damn. He's got 232,000 followers on IG. Neil the Seal. Neil the Seal. Yeah, here he is. Look at this guy. Oh, my God. Oh, he does eat traffic cones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just comes in the street, eats traffic cones, blocks traffic. So I think this is hilarious. But if he fucked my car up, I would be upset. Yeah. But that's why I was asking if there was a schedule, because if it's mid-July, you've got to know not to go. Yeah, you can't have your car anywhere, anywhere near where Neil could get to. Because then it's, then it is funny again.

If it's, if it's your car, it's hilarious to me. If it's my car, it's not funny at all. No, no, no, no, no. So... Does the insurance cover that? You got to wonder. It's a great call. I would say, I would assume no, right?

Do they say act of God? Well, yeah, act of a god. Yeah. Act of a god. Yeah. Neil being one of them. Yes. So, but I do like that he...

I think he thinks this is funny. That's what I'd like to live, the world I'd like to live in. Well, it's the question. question of is Neil funny? Or is he a piece of shit? Yeah, fuck. And then here is the bigger thing. I don't want to get too dark with it here.

Oh, shit. But are we staring down the barrel of another Harambe situation? It feels like Neil's staring down the barrel. Not we. Correct. So you're saying he's going to get pop. I'm not saying that, Chris.

I would never say that. I'm worried that there is a chance. Look at this fucking guy. Oh, he just broke the wood. broke the fence. Yeah, he just climbed over a fence. Oh,

property damage. Let me just eat this cone. Why is he doing that? He's out of his mind. Is he older? Maybe he just doesn't give a fuck anymore. I think he is probably. No,

I think he's five. Look at him. Oh. So. They'll fuck you up. Elephant sales are huge. Have you ever seen him fight each other? But I got to be,

look at him. He's just breaking. He's just breaking shit, dude. He's out of control. He's just. That actually is very interesting. He is, he's,

he's, he's, imaging that on purpose. Yes, that is like a barrier next to an ATM that he's just breaking to break it. He's like, yeah, they built this whole playground for me, right? Yep. That was more British, but yes. He's fantastic. Wait, that's more South Africa. That was South African. God damn. I got to dial in my Australian. Look at his nose. Look at him yawning. Now he's got a nose wrinkle. I mean, this guy is... So I think he might be funny now that I'm seeing all this. Do, well, what's interesting is Neil, do you think that the

Tasmanian government City Hall, rather, started this Instagram and TikTok account to get brand deals to pay for all the property damage he causes? Okay, excellent question. That'd be 40 chess on their part. I'll tell you what, that's a huge,

whoever started the account, genius, because that's a great brand deal opportunity. If Neil the seal, you could have Neil the seal endorse whatever you want if you own that account. Yeah. Do you think it was, a random Tasmanian kid. That's what I need to know.

Is it just, does the world know? Do we know who runs the Neil the Seal? I'm sure it's run by like City Hall or something. The Parks Department? Yeah, it's probably the Parks Department. But now we've got, now we're opening the door to so much corruption. Dude, this says, the social media accounts dedicated to Neil the Seal are run by Jason Howlett.

So it's a guy. It's just a guy, dude. Do you think he works for the Parks Department? Let's see. He better because otherwise this is one of the great cash grabs of all time. Because, dude, you are a genius. There's a lot of videos on here. I know.

I wonder if he's AIing any of these. Whoa, that would suck. Because, like, there's so many videos. Oh, did we just get duped? No way. That would be embarrassing. No, I mean, I'm sure it's real, but maybe they're making supplemental videos just to, like... Yeah.

kick out as many as possible. But listen, I'll be honest, I am worried that one day Neil Neil the Seal is going to do something to the wrong guy. And we might have a situation. Here's the thing about Australia. They don't have as many guns as we do. So they're less

equipped than Harambe situation. It just might be a brute force there. They're so used to big animals, though, in Australia in that region. I mean, have you guys ever been to Australia? No. I have not. It's cool. I went to Sydney. I heard it's fucking epic. Yeah, it's great. The animals are wild. Look at him. Fucking cool shit.

He's out of control. Also, I'm going to be honest, if you get whapped by an elephant seal, you're a bitch. You got to, I mean, how fast can they go? I don't think that fast. I just watched him slugging his way across the lawn. How big he is, though. I mean, he is a big boy. Elephant seals can reach a top speed of six miles per hour. That's what I'm saying. If you're getting killed by an elephant seal, you're asking for it. And there are rules. There are mandates that people can only get so close to because everyone wants to take a picture of Neil. I guess this says they can serve energy. They can reach a burst speed of 12.

Oh, that's in the water. Never mind. Yeah, six miles an hour. Like, come on. Yeah, because he's flopping around. It's the walking dead here. I mean, he's enormous. Have you interacted with, like, a seal, like on the California coast, like in Moro Bay or anything like that?

Oh, brother. Yeah, they're cool. We've had a couple of seals pop up right in our backyard in Maine. Oh, that's cool. And then I love when you go down to the marina, you see them all sunbathing on the stern. of boats. Yeah. Yeah.

And they're just chilling. They're like sunbathing. They're like sunbathing. This guy is not so cute. This guy, Jason is rich. Yeah, Jason. This is awesome. Figuring out to get Neil's Instagram account was smart.

Genius, Dan. Yeah. Genius. It's just beautiful stuff. Okay, next topic. Did you add this, Chris? Yep. After we were talking about it?

I just found out about it. Well, I don't think you found out about it. I think you have it. And that's why it popped into your head. No, Evan just said, before you got here, Evan goes, well, I said, are you ready for the next COVID outbreak, the next pandemic? You went like this. I am, it's already here. I have it.

Did you have explosive diarrhea? No. But I didn't even know that that was a symptom. How could I have said, I have it? You don't need to pretend like you haven't had diarrhea recently. You've definitely had diarrhea recently. For our listeners, he's wiping his butt. Thank you.

I've had diarrhea my whole life. You know what's funny? Every time I talk about this, this cycloneysis or whatever, this new bug that's gone around. Cycloceriasis is what it's called. Yeah. How is psoriasis in the name when that's, isn't that like a scale? Or maybe it's sporiasis. Cyclosporiasis.

Cyclospora, whatever. Cyclosporiasis. Whenever I talk to anybody who's my age, the joke is always, oh, like, how am I going to tell the difference between my regular diarrhea? So are we all just constantly? having diaries. Because of the food here. The food isn't killing us. That's no good.

That's a bad sign. I mean, we know that the food here is terrible in certain ways, but at the same time, I feel like you also travel places and you have diarrhea there too. Yeah. Yeah. I guess so I guess maybe everyone... I think it is a common joke. Like, I've seen a bunch of tweets that are like

this, bro, I think I've had the diarrhea bug for 10 years and I didn't know it to tell about it. Dude, you know, you know how that? There's that stat. That's like, diarrhea kills more people than heart attacks or whatever. Dehydration. Yeah, and you're like, what?

But now I'm realizing it's right because literally everyone on earth has chronic diarrhea. So they're like, what killed him? I don't know, probably the diarrhea every day of his life. Yeah. Like, yeah, got on them finally.

Yeah. So how come this one's so bad, Ev? I didn't know anything about it. But it's, I don't know, it's apparently on leafy greens. It's on green onions, raspberries. Those are the, yeah, main ones. It's, um.

But it's on, it's, I've seen it being, it's on broccoli, mushrooms. Fuck. It's like, if you cook your food, though, if you cook your veggies, it'll, it'll cook it out. But it's like people who are going to buy raspberries from the store and coming home, you give them like a little rinse, eat them. Guess what?

You have diaria. Do you now have cyclose bore? Yeah. Yeah. You have cyclone diarrhea. Yeah. We're going to start calling this cyclone diarrhea. And that's what you have.

Hope that raspberry was good. Hope you enjoyed it. Hope you thought you were being healthy. And honestly, it's a nice excuse to just eat fucking garland. now. I don't want vegetables. Absolutely. Yep. Like if this is the summer of eating fucking burgers and fries because you don't want to have

cyclone diarrhea, we're here. That's huge. Regular burger diarrhea. Apparently the reason why it's so bad, there's two reasons. One, it's been hotter this summer and normally this kind of happens every summer because it's... Bacteria... It gets hot, yeah, and it grows in a warmer climate.

We've been getting hotter, obviously. And then also, a... allegedly they like the government closed down the tracking thing when they did all that doge stuff. Oh nice. So like it's been harder to track and it's gone way more out of control than it would have in previous years. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah.

It's kind of a double failure. Between OZempic and Cyclone diarrhea, people are going to be fit as fuck. Yeah. Nice, Dan. Can you imagine if you are on OZempec and then you also get cyclone diarrhea, you're going to wither away. You're going to turn to dust. I've always wondered this. What happens to the.

caloric intake of a food if you eat it and then immediately just get explosive diarrhea like you're traveling and you're like I'm going to try this thing this street food and then you go goes right out of you I bet get any of that or I bet some of it but I bet it's similar to bulimia right yeah that's what bulimia is yeah it's where you refund it yeah yeah but same thing right just coming out a different hole yeah you get a little bit of it but then it doesn't absorb as much and, uh, interesting. So I bet you don't get a lot. That's like people who, when you, some people start trying to take protein or stuff, stuff like that, they'll take the protein and then just spray paint diarrhea immediately. And they're like, you didn't get a lot of that protein, just so you know.

While you're doing your macros, while you're filling out your my fitness pal, don't put in all those grams of protein because you Jackson Pollocked that out your butthole pretty quick. But your toilet got all 20, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your toilet is jacked. Toilet's macros are living large. Apparently, though, if you do want to get veggies and fruit, if you get frozen fruit or frozen veggies or canned veggies or canned fruit,

that's okay. That's okay. So it's literally just don't buy fresh. You can't get fresh stuff. Don't be afraid of a little diarrhea. It's nice. That's why I ask. Good, gone.

You have to get antibiotics to fight it. That's the crazy thing. Oh, really? Yeah. So how do we know that when you have cyclone diarrhea? That's what I should say. Because it lasts for like days or weeks. And people that are vulnerable have to go to the hospital.

Because it's like, wow, I can't be shitting for two weeks straight. Like, it's really bad. So you got to go to the doctor. And the only way they get rid of the parasite is like through an antibiotic. Okay. So it's like actually like a parasite in you that's just making you poop your brains out. I mean, this says, I'll tell you what, man. You want to do a quick cut.

There's a little bit of weight. Yeah. It says public health officials find themselves grappling with a seasonal emergency while armed with fragmented data and hard to pin down source for the outbreaks. It is often difficult to establish the source of food poisoning. Federal officials are looking at supply chains for white and green onions, cucumbers, and cilantro is a big one. You are told to manage a disease that can cause weeks of unpleasantness with advice

you probably first learned before you set foot in kindergarten. Wash your hands. That's good advice, mind you. Cyclosycardia spreads when people consume food or drink that's been contaminated with feces. So wash your fruit and veggies carefully too. So you've eaten poop and then you cyclone. Poop makes more poop. You're just pooping everywhere.

Yeah. So be careful out there, everybody. Yeah. Don't get the cyclone. Michigan is getting lit up. It's Michigan, and I'm fucking flying to Ohio. Michigan has a time of... I'm going to the center of the cyclone.

Michigan, as of the heart of it all. I'm going to the heart of it. The heart of it all. Holy shit. Is more cyclone diarrhea. That is insane. But here's the thing. You rarely am I eating vegetables in Ohio.

So it'll be fine. Fair. It'll be fine. Fair. Yeah. Yeah. What's going on? I guess maybe it's on corn. 2,640 cases already in Michigan, which is really high. Is this going to be like, remember when COVID happened every time you felt the tickle of a sore throat, you were like, oh, my God, I have COVID.

COVID. Yeah. Now this is every time you get a little bit of a leaky butt, leaky butt, and all of a sudden you go, I got the cyclone. I know, dude, it's really. Cyclone morning. Everybody out. Next thing you know, you're shitting everywhere. Oh, man. There's 177 in Ohio since June 28th. Yeah.

Oh, no, no. It'll be right. Since July 2nd. Oh, my gosh. So you'd be careful. It's only two weeks. When I went to Mexico City, I was there for three days. The first day was great.

The next two days I was shitting in the bathroom for two days. And then the next three weeks, I was, I was blowing things up back in L.A. Yeah, yeah. So I got, I got, I got, tell me, trucks. You got fucking whacked there. Dude, I did a Mexico City fucking up. All right. All right.

All right. Let's get back to a little bit of hockey. We've got some fun news going on with the New York Islanders. They're making, this has got to be one of the coolest things I've seen a team do in the NHL. And you, of all people, are going to love this. I know, I know all about it. I was tweeting all about it all weekend. I can't believe that the actual third jersey for the Islanders is going to be made by the people.

It's a very, very cool move. Cheese. He's a dog. He's always got the ideas. He's always got the ideas. Yeah. We said immediately to Islanders fans, you are going to be, you're in great hands with Kelly Cheeseman. And now this is just another example of how great this is.

We are going to be making our own, but there is a super easy to use. Maybe we can put the website up on the edit, Ev. Yeah, I can do that. There's a super easy to use website with design tool where you get to pick from so much. I thought it was going to be like, hey, which of these three bases do you want? incorrect. There are options coming out your ears. Yep. It's, it's, it's, I'm messing around with it right now. It's just a very exciting opportunity to, to get your, your fingerprints on the islanders. And it's also, I mean, someone did the math. It's like something like quintillion options.

Yeah. So it's, they've given you, you have a jersey base that you get to pick from. Then you get to pick different colors and accent colors. And then there are several logos that you get to choose. It's not totally unlimited, but it's just like, it's so fucking fun, dude. Like, it's a very, very groovy situation that we've got here. Dude, it's unreal. And then you have till July 24th to make the jerseys, okay? And then a team, a committee is going to review all the submissions, which there's going to be so many. And then narrow it down to five finalists.

And then that is put online for a public vote in August. So legitimately, five fans are going to make a jersey, gets named finalists, and then the fans are just going to vote for the coolest Islander jersey. And I'm glad there's the committee's getting into five because we avoid the, like, what would, Bodey McBoterson? You know, there's always the ridiculous submissions. Yeah.

But the fans will vote. The winning design literally becomes the official Islander's third jersey, which is epic. And that creator, whoever did it, gets a team signed third jersey. So they take your jersey that you made, make the real one and the whole team signs it, which is epic. And you get tickets to the 27, 28 game to watch its on ice debut. It's so sick. Again, I'm like, like I said, I'm dabbling with it right now. And it is just, it is as fun as it gets. I want a percentage of all the jersey sales. Dude, that's actually

a good call. I was like, give me 3%. I would actually say, dude, less, right? Keep the tickets. Yeah, yeah, keep the tickets. I don't need to see it. I'll watch it on TV, but I will take a tiny percentage of the jersey sales because I made this up. And that actually should be your right now that you're saying that out. I have seen, I mean, a bunch of people tweeted, and, and like, they were being like, hey, this is, you know, this is my, this is my design, this is my that. And there are some just all-time ones. I've actually seen a bunch of white base ones that are so sick. And I, that's usually not necessarily my vibe. But people are just doing, home whites are cool, man. People are doing a great job, man. They're, they're making,

unbelievable jerseys. It's so awesome. I'm pumped. I want to post up some sick ones. We're going to get dialed in and maybe we win it, dude. Maybe we win. That'd be awesome. That would be awesome. I don't think that we will. We'll see, dude. You're great at this stuff. I don't think I am. I have been messing around with it and I think you know what's interesting about these is I love the fisherman logo, but the fisherman logos that they've given. and have a couple accents of like that turquoise blue in the water. Yeah. And then that makes it tough.

Like, you know, here, a little bit of a teaser. I, I haven't seen many options with a black jersey. Yeah. And I was like, well, black might be. I was thinking of that too. And it's tough with the logo options. Like, it's a, you, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I've been very impressed with what people have done.

Like, they, they've made some fucking cool ass designs. I'm, I'm fired up. Yeah, me too. I'm fired up. It's sick. It's unbelievable. Okay, other bit of cool news is hit different golf. Just quick little plug.

Hick Different Golf is our new golf channel. If you guys haven't checked it out, go check out the YouTube, the Instagram. It's everywhere. Hit Different Golf is our new golf program. We were just on an awesome video that launched yesterday. It's on the YouTube. It's called Locks on the Links. We made a couple of bets playing with Gavin, playing with Bobby.

It was just so much fun. We're going to be doing more of it. Absolutely. There's two more episodes that we got to be in. because Dolan runs the account, Bobby. And then we're shooting another one today, actually, with Ezra Berg, who's a golf creator, who's in town, and challenged Dolan to a match.

Dan's going to go, I think you and Bobby, right? Yep. And then James, Ezra and James, who we've also been on a shoot with, going to go toe to toe. But yeah, it's awesome. Go check it out. We're on there. We're going to be on there more.

It's going to be really fun. It's going to be a blast. And we're going to cut to a clip right now. Oh, sick. Of the episode, a little couple-minute clip. Just to tease it just so people get a taste and check it out Before you jump in the box, let me what do we what do we got? Yeah, all right, I won't I won't need because we can't say I like no names and fairway

All right, done yeah, how much are we putting on this let's go another 200 I go another 200 again me too Block it too honed right now no names no names no names no names no names can we do fake names? Sure okay no that's that's not fair okay I don't want any any Bobbo's and it's yeah Yeah, yeah, no names. No names. Hey, big dog, you're starting. Par four? Yes, and it's 323.

So feel free to hit the driver if you want. $200, starting now. No names, no names, no names. It's hard. I can't hit driver. You just said my name, dude. Why did you snitch? Are you an idiot?

I think he did, though. Look at his name. Yeah, he did. What did you say? Why did you snitch? What did he say? Look at him, he knows. There's no snitch.

We're all mic'd up. Yeah, yeah, true. Technically, I didn't say his name, but I called him by his nickname. We just said no fake names. I've never seen anyone lose bets quicker than this group. Wow. All right, back to 400.

Hey, can we double or nothing? Yeah. Ooh, I like that. Let's go double or nothing. You don't have to say yes. I'm for it. Okay. But what are you going to do?

You'd have zero dollars. Yeah, that's fine. I'll hit the fair right right now and we'll get it back. All right. All right. Yeah. Starting. I swear.

If you just answered my question before the fucking challenge started, we would be good. Relax. Par four? Yeah. hit the ball, please. Are we back on the bet? Yes, dude.

You just sent my fucking name. Three times. This is out of control. Why is he talking to me, dude? We were supposed to be quiet. You need to stop blaming everybody. We have no money. All we're saying is people's name.

Okay, here's the thing. Everyone lock in. Somehow it's always going to come back to me. No, no. But if we get a birdie on this hole, we get a hundred bucks. Exactly. If we get a birdie on this one, let's get a fucking birdie. Let's say the name.

He says the name. Hey, Gabba. If we get a birdie in this, if we get a hundred bucks back. Why are you yelling at me? I told you the holes right there. I literally cannot believe. I cannot believe you guys are just hammering each other's names.

It's the only things you said. Hey, I bet. I bet 12 words were said and six of them were names. When it comes to getting your nicotine fix, Lucy is the best option because they are creating the best pouches in the game made for true pouch connoisseurs. It's unbelievable 100% tobacco-free nicotine pouches and breaker pouches scientifically crafted, giving you that best experience. in the world. When it comes to flavors, unbelievable, the winter green and the mint hits so hard. It's

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some positivity. Who wants to start? I could start. Okay, start. Fraud Watch. I'm putting this thing on Fraud Watch today. I'm not mad at them all the time. I just find myself mad at them too much.

Okay. And I'm also confused at the way they do things. why do you do, why are you the way that you are? That's what I want to say. Okay. I'm putting on fraud watch, drains. Okay.

Because, dude, why is my drain always clogged? Dude, you did have diarrhea, didn't you? Yes. It is so obvious that this man has cyclone diarrhea. Diarrhea, don't clog. You're talking about the shower. Don't clog nothing. That's actually true.

Cleans it out. Yeah. It's like, and the sink. Yeah. And they're like, well, dude, you can't shave your face. And I'm like, okay, I don't. But I'm like, shouldn't that be exactly what you're for? Like, I'm shaving my fucking face.

Yeah, what are you supposed to do with your, with your beard trimmings then? They're like, well, not in the sink unless you want your drain clogged. And I'm like, okay, well, do I punch the mirror, take a piece of the broken glass and go outside and do it like this? And I think they go, yes. If you're a badass. That's what you do. Yeah. And then same with the shower.

And I know it's like, I live with a woman now. I have long hair. Like, I get it. But it's like, why is hair? It shouldn't shower? The number one thing when they were thinking, like, what might go down this drain? I'd be like, hair probably, because everyone's showering in here. That's how this works.

And then here's the thing. I don't know why they are the way that they are. Maybe this is a thing that is needed and a plumber will tell me, Chris, you're an idiot. They have to be like that. But every picture of every drain I've ever seen is like a crazy you back up. And they're like, it's really hard for the water to go back up. But I'm like, yeah, why do they like that? Why does it go like this?

Bang, L, off to the fucking ocean or whatever. Like, why must it be you? some reason. There's got to be some reason. You know what? I hate how, because what I wanted to just say right now was plumbers in the chat

will you tell us why U-Benz are necessary, but I hate how we can just now go, AI, tell me. And I'm going to do that right now as you continue ranting. And then also, and this is, the drain shouldn't take the heat for this probably,

but we have no good options. Like, Drane, they're like, buy Drano, and I'm like, okay, and I do. and it works immediately 100% like the next few days, but then right so quickly again, it's just clogged again.

My plumbers told me never to use drain. I know because it eats a hole through the drain. Yeah, the drain is bad. Like, what the fuck? This makes so much sense. Drain's have you bends to hold small amounts of water every time you use the sink or shower. This standing water creates an invisible plug

that blocks foul sewer gases, bad smells and harmful bugs coming up through your drain and into your home. Okay, that's interesting. Also, isn't it for like if you drop your wedding ring down there, like, there's a place to stop to. Yeah. Yes. Absolutely, yes, that is.

But it does make sense. If there was just a straight shot, then the sewer is just coming up into your house. Yeah. Yeah, straight shot, no, no good. No good. No good. So I wonder if there's a way we can revolutionize pipes that it's like, because we need to solve the spell. And we need to stop the clock.

Well, if you guys are like me, a lot of the places out here were built a while ago and the pipes are old and they're kind of thin, you know? Like newer, I think newer homes have better pipes. They just go right through. My roommate a few years ago, before he moved in with me, he had a brief lease at this one place where this woman was like, the pipes, the landlord was this crazy old woman. She was like, the pipes are really old. Yeah. So you can't flush toilet paper down the toilet.

Yeah. You've got to wipe your ass and then put that shitty toilet paper in a trash can next to your toilet. And he was like, I'm not living here. I'm so sorry. And like, I was like, Gary, you're right. That's an insane thing to ask someone. Dude, and that's in other countries too. When I was in Ecuador, we were at a gorgeous resort, and they were like, the pipes do not handle toilet paper here.

So take all the shit and then just put it right next to you in your hotel room. It's disgusting. As we all do in our homes. And I was like, no. And we were just flushing it because I was like, I mean. You're causing horrible plumbing issues. But yeah, so maybe that's it. Maybe it's like a heart artery thing with a stint where I'm like.

We need new pipes. We need new infrastructure. Like new home should be built with pipes that like here's the sink drain and then they immediately go to this wide and then they move through your house. Wait, maybe the cyclosporiasis was a fucking thing that the government put on us so that we... Clean out those pipes. So they don't need to make bigger pipes. So if we give everybody diarrhea, the shit's going to be smaller.

Yep. It's so obvious. So maybe it's more of a pipe problem than a drain problem, but I'm taking it out on drains. I do think it's, I think what should be on fraud watch is hair. Hair. We should all be shaving our body. That can maybe do that. But it's, it is, every time I have blocked, uh, uh, hair that has fallen out.

Fallen hair. Yeah. Fallen hair is on fraud watch. Because it is, I mean, I have snaked a drain before. I remember snaking a drain. It's horrible. I'm gonna puke telling the story. In our first apartment in L.A.

Because like the shower was just straight up flooding. Yeah. And I stuck, stuck one of those drain snakes down there and pulled up a. rainforest of hair. And keep in mind, I had just moved into this apartment. So, like, none of that hair was my hair. And I was like, I'm going to die in this moment, dude. And it's all black and, like, mucusy and shit.

So you, tub shroom, there's a product called the tub shroom, which is pretty great. What is it? Shrooms? It's, uh, it's basically like a, it's like this rubber drain plug that goes in there that it's kind of shaped like a T, but it's cylindrical. Yeah. Look up the tub shroom. Okay.

It'll help you. Cool. Evan, do you want to go? Yeah. Fraud watch? Yeah. My fraud is LOL. Laughing out loud.

Wait, this typing L.L. Let him finish. Literally laughing. No, not laughing. Laughing's great. We love laughter. Isn't that fun? But, no, when was the last time you fucking typed LOL to somebody and you actually

LOLed? Oh, this is a good Larry David take. Nobody's L-O-L-L-A. So I have two answers to that. One, I type, sometimes I type LOL. It is almost certainly in all caps and it is a joke. Or I am not laughing out loud at all. But I'll send something to Dan like the wings have missed playoffs for the seventh year in a row.

You know, because I'm like in age. Sarcastic laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not laughing at all. So that's one scenario where I type LOL. The other scenario, which I think you'll appreciate and a couple of my friends. friends will know this because I do it a lot. I send text to them that say true loll. Like I type out TRU. Oh, there you go. Because I've actually, like if they send me something and I go,

I will go true loll. There you go. That's good. Because I just wanted them to know I really did. Yeah. I just, it's been so overused, right? Yeah. I unfortunately do use it sarcastically only. And whenever, if I hit you with a lowercase L-O-L, I'm saying I'm embarrassed with how much of a fucking idiot you are. Yeah. Wow. True. When I go lull, it's me rolling my eyes and being like this. You're such a clown.

I can't even begin to process this. The amount of times that I want to reply to people on Twitter with lowercase L-O-A. Yeah. Is I'm just like, you're embarrassing. The thing that makes me curious about this too is like I think that because we're more isolated, you know, like we're watching things on our own. And I was listening to somebody, I forget who it was. Maybe it was like Emily Blunt talking about like why comedies and movie theaters are so great

because you're all laughing together. And it's something we're not doing as much anymore. Like when you're watching a movie at home, how many times you're just sitting there going like, ha ha ha ha ha laughing? Like you're not. Like when you're at home, you're just sort of like,

hmm, that's fun. You recognize that it's funny, but you're not actually. I think it would be a better society if we were together actually laughing out loud rather than just typing L.O.S. That's why the movie theater is the best. Yeah.

I mean, absolutely. I laugh in a movie theater way more than when I laugh at home. But I do, Evan, it is such a delightful moment when you're at the movie. movie theater and you, or excuse me, when you're at home watching a movie alone. Yeah. And you truly laugh out loud. I'm always like, damn, that was fucking hilarious. This is a great, great, great moment. Yeah. That's a good one. Uh, mine's a bummer. Uh, and it's, it has a caveat

of, it's not this thing's fault, but my fraud watch is summer. Oh, I don't like this. Uh, summer is over, dude. Yeah, oh yeah, well, summer ends on the 4th of July. We always know that. and that's why it's on fraud watch. Summer is too short. And it's just such a, it's a disaster. I was just, I was looking at something and I was looking at the calendar and being like, okay, like this is what's going on. And then next thing you know, you blink and it's August and summer's really over when

August comes around. And I was thinking to myself, okay, summer, technically, we, always used to think like summer starts in June. Yeah. And it was like, okay, we got June, July, and August. And like, then you're kind of back to school. And when you become an adult, I feel like with fucking global warming and so many different things too now, it's like June, June arrives and I'm now talking to friends and family who have kids. Kids are in school until like June 20th. Yeah, yeah. You forget that. We were like that. I don't think that that's true, dude. shut the fuck up

Chris you're a fucking idiot you don't know shit at least in college I was out by May oh yeah college you are oh yeah that you're a you're a rat pig so kids are in school till like the end of June insane also all of these bullshit fucking sports like hockey

aren't done until the end of June and then it's like okay now it's July and again this is more of an adult problem but it's like and now there's a a billion weddings and there's like people are going on summer vacations because they have no why are you going on vacation in summer enjoy summer it's summer and you blink fourth of july is there it's over and then august comes and now you're already going back to school shopping and people are like

it's again sports people are like oh it's training camp it's this it's that yeah and then that is over and then it's september football football football and then it's september and it's Labor Day weekend and actually your life is over and summer's just dead. Yeah. So it's like summer, again, it's not summer's fault. Summer's not the fraud, but summer has been made fraudulent because it's too short. And I'm like, we need to do a better job as a world of letting summer exist. And I think this is, here we go, classic Dan, we're coming around to this is a U.S.

problem. and every fucking employer in the United States needs to go the entire month of August, no one works. Oh yeah, I agree. I think July and August. And you know how I know that this would work? Yeah. We all went through COVID. August, nothing is open, dude.

Yep. No, no restaurants are open. No nothing. We are all just not working for an entire month. Go enjoy yourself. Cook at home. Don't go into an office. Everyone still gets paid.

We're just taking a fucking month off so people can remember that summer is. supposed to be for some. Our hotels open so you can travel or you have to stay home. You have to stay home. Yeah, because then you're forcing all the hotel workers and restaurants, people to work. They get double pay. They get December off. They get December off. Any, any hotel or restaurant that stays open for the month of August, everyone gets paid double. Yeah, okay. Double pay. That's a good idea. Yeah. Well, I know in Europe, I mean, they take longer vacations in Europe, don't they? Like in France, don't they have a crazy amount? Yes. And, and, and, do you? the amount of time off on a given day to day that people in other countries is like,

they're like, go home for lunch, see you in three hours. Yeah. And I'm like, what, dude? And it works perfectly. Yeah, of course it does. It's crazy. But summer is on fraud watch. It's too short.

Because it's way too short, man. Like, I can't believe it's July 15th and I'm like summer's already off. I think we should start summer in May. I think it should be like May 5th. Yeah, because that's what is in college. Yes, I completely agree. So then you get an extra month, basically. But again, sports ruins summer.

Yeah, that's the problem. It's a fucking nightmare. But it's like, we just got to, summer's gone already. Summer is over. Oh, yeah. No, dude, come on. I think you got the rest of July. You got 15 days.

No, dude. July 4th happens and the summer is dead. And I'll tell you, as someone with an August birthday, whenever August 1st would hit when I was younger, I wanted to off myself. I know, dude. Because I was like, my birthday meant, school was coming back.

And I was like so devastated. I actually remember getting to college and the amount of friends that I had in college who were like I'm so glad college is back because like I get to see all my friends and I'm like so you have a terrible life. Yes. You go home and you have no friends. Dude

I so funny, bro. Every May, the same story but so many kids in college with me would be like I'm so sad. The school year's ending. And I was like what? Dude. I him going home. Maybe they had abusive families.

Yeah. Yeah. They might have had a bad home situation. He's like, I get the belt when I go home. Yeah, exactly. Okay, well, you should maybe look into summer school. They put me in a cage. There's some extra credits floating around here for you.

Yeah, yeah. Go to summer school. Yeah. God damn. So I hear you on that big time. I, you know the expression, youth is wasted on the young. Yep. That, I think about that so often with how easy,

college must have been. Obviously, you're just a kid and you're dumb and things you think are important that aren't important. But when I think about college, I'm like, I used to wake up and I'd have like two classes in a day. And it was from like 9 a.m. to noon. And I was like, fucking man, college is crying. Yeah.

And I'm like, could you imagine having like the mindset and practices you have now and just going back to college and being like, oh, I'm a fun. This is the easiest thing in the world. It's so true. to me, high school is more like actual work life and college is like this little nugget of something else that you don't get back. Dude. But like the rest of your life is just high school again.

High school is prison. Yeah. High school is actually prison. I mean, dude, I've had this exact thought. Yeah. High school was you had to get to that motherfucker at like 7.30 in the morning. Yeah. And you would have your first class at 8 a.m.

And it would literally be like this. class class class 45 minute lunch break class class it was like you you were going from one awful situation to the next no matter what everyone was hawking you do they were giving you attention if you were a hat in the hallways like high school is actually prison and then we were freed in college and we went like this my life is so hard yeah i'm like it's the easiest it'll ever be yeah yeah correct it will never get better than this all right we'll get some top hits All right, top hits. I'll start.

Top hits for me is baldness. What? Rapper Pitbull. Okay? Yeah, I'm familiar. Brought together 22,101 fans wearing bald caps at London's BST Hyde Park Festival. Officially breaking the world record for the largest gathering of its kind. Of bald cap record?

Yes. Because if they just stole a bald person, record, then I will not stand for it. It said of its kind. Most bald caps in one place. But rapper Pitbull making it cool to be bald. And I think I have seen a lot of people recently, shout out sincere's dad on Love Island, who got to just go bald. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Going bald can be a vibe. Oh, yeah. My brother does it. You need the right head shape. Yeah. You do need the right head shape. but to me and I know that this is a money thing

so apologies but with the technology we have in Turkey and with the hair transplant stuff you don't even need to go Turkey go to Dr. Leonard in Massachusetts yeah he's great go to John Cena's guy yeah yeah I don't know

I remember Rob Ninkovich on the New England Patriots did commercials for him and I was like oh cool Dr. Leonard you got to go one or the other go if you were balding and you were doing the George Costanza, go get a hair transplant, or do whatever Landon Donovan did, or just

Bickett. Yeah. And be Pitbull. And be pit bull. And I think stuff like this is pit bull raising awareness. That's great. And I think that's great. Okay, you turned that around for me. Yeah. I got to say, I don't love the bald cap aspect. I would be more, because it feels like stolen valor. I feel, I feel like they should have gotten actual balls. Me too, did. Well, I'm sure that they tried. I'm sure there were a ton of bald people there, but to me, it's more support. Like, if, like, if, you're not, they're not getting anything for wearing that ball cap.

I suppose they got a Guinness World record, but. Yeah, do you remember when Dave Coleyer got, had cancer and he had to shave his head? And then John Stamos, like, came out and was like, in support. He, like, took a picture of him with a bald cap, and he was like, I'm going to support my friend and wear a ball cap.

I was like, just shave your head, John. But he was like, John Sammis is like, this, you want me to shave his head. Yeah, Stamos is like, no, no, I don't, no, I don't, no, I'm not doing that. I can respect it. I'll put a bald cap on, though. Then don't do the photo.

Yeah, yeah, then don't do it. No one has you to do this. So if there are any of the fellas listening right now who you're starting to go bald and you don't want to do the transplant, you're wondering, this is me saying pit bull has your back. And so do I. Oh, this is me saying unless you want to get into comedy, in which case, absolutely keep the horseshoe because it's way funnier. Yes. Like, you look too fucking cool and badass if you shave your head. Yeah.

But if you have like the Larry David, the horseshoe, like, it's comedy goal. So keep that if you want to be funny. True. That's actually so true. Make sure to put on sunscreen, though. Yes. Oh, yeah. You get torched up there. Yeah.

I'm going top hits. I'm going to get made fun of for this, but I will stand my ground. Okay. I think I'm a mad. I've always been a magic guy. I think I'm sad that the world of the prestige left us. Like, I wish we still did that. Yeah. Now, I don't like at all magic shows now that are like,

there's such a big production. There's always like the one big one at the end of the Magic Castle night that's, in my opinion, the worst one by far because I'm like, okay, this is all bullshit. But you like the up-close card guys. That's amazing. And I think a cool, and I definitely am not also saying like there's the Wonderwall guy playing acoustic

the whole party and there's the dude doing card tricks in the corner the whole party. I'm not condoning that either. Right. But I'm saying the, having a cool, seeing a cool, Seeing a cool card trick is awesome. And I had liked a video where some guy was walking around a World Cup Stadium and did a card trick for these Dutch fans or something. And they went apeshit.

So my reels has been feeding me more of stuff like that. And now I'm in a loop because I keep liking them because they're sick. But I just think a cool card trick is awesome. And if you are someone who someone came up to you and showed you a cool card trick and you went, I guess that's stupid. I'm like, what, bro? Your mind was just blown out of its skull, and you're going to sit here and tell me that's lame and stupid. You're lame and stupid.

Card tricks are sick. Yeah, go ahead. No, I go, please. I was going to say, do you have a desire to learn, like, how it works, or do you just want to be mystified? Oh, receiving it, I just want to be mystified. You don't want to know the secrets of how they did it. I like card tricks.

I don't know that many. I used to know more. I like card tricks, and if you were to, I'm not opposed to someone teaching me one and me learning it, You know, I'm not like, oh, the secrets do you say. I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, I'll learn it. But when someone's doing car trick to me, I'm never, not only do I not want to know, but also I'm not looking.

I'm not like, you know, I'm trying to figure it out. Yeah, like this will be sick and I'll be so pumped. Just take me on the ride. Exactly. Yeah, I feel that. I have never understood the car tricks are lame people. It's a dope. It's a cool trick. Yeah.

I think car tricks are lame is a big propaganda by someone who got tricked by a car trick. I agree. And they were embarrassed. And they were like this, you're a nerd. Yeah. And it's like, what?

Okay. I also, what I think is funny is every time you see a person doing card tricks who's also funny. Yeah. And people go like this, oh, that's cool. He's kind of like a comedy magician. And I'm like this,

every magician is a comedy magician. I feel like we have been tricked by the David Blaine's of the world in being like this. Magicians take themselves so seriously. They're all. All comedians. You go to the Magic Castle, every one of them is a comedy show

that also has magic. The only two non-comedy magicians are David Blaine and Joe Bluth. And they, either it goes really well or really poorly. I suppose Chris Angel is also and David Copperfield,

was he also? He's definitely a comedian, for sure. Was he funny? Penn and Teller are hilarious. It is a whole thing. Chris Angel and Blaine obviously did, well, Blaine was just doing shit the human physical limitations.

Yeah, did you see him on the Netflix show or whatever he did? I think so. He was like burning himself. Oh, yeah. He's done it all. Chris Angel is what I'm talking about where he's like, I'm walking on this water. I'm gonna hang myself by my nipples.

Oh, you're not, dude. Like, there's a fucking thing under the, like, this is so stupid. Where David Blaine's doing car tricks that almost made Harrison Ford K. There's a guy. Yeah. There's a guy on Instagram. I think his name's like Brother K. Magic or something.

And he's like he wears a GoPro or like meta glasses and then does car tricks. and he goes into very dangerous social scenarios. Like he goes to a line outside of a bar with a bunch of drunk girls where he could get ridiculed. Yeah. But he tries to win them over with his magic tricks. And then he gives them his Snapchat average. Yeah.

Oh, dude, I saw that. Yeah. Good job. There's the guy that's, I think it's called Magic by Jason or something. But it's just him at his like poker table essentially. He just does a trick. But he does tricks that fans submit. They're like, do this.

And he just does it. And dude, this guy's seen a lot of his reals now. he's so good that it feels like AI. Like, because he just literally he does whatever you want. Like, and then the thing is right every time. To the point that I'm like, what are you doing? Is this stage? Yeah, like, holy fuck, bro.

All right, car tricks. I like it. Ev, close us out. Top hit. I guess I'll be more generic about this, but just fucking live music, you know, not in bars specifically, but I know Dan hates live music and bars. But on Friday, my wife, wife and I got cheap tickets to the

Wes Anderson music night at the Hollywood Bowl because they were doing like three nights. And is it all scores from West movies? Yeah, it's like scores. Beck was there playing music. His original composer, Mark Mothersbaugh was there and his band played and

Bill Murray hosted it. And tickets were so cheap. They had all this criterion stuff there. They had like all the Wes Anderson shit. And it was just like you could bring your own wine. You could bring your own, like, food. Always the vibe there.

It's great. And, like, yeah. I mean, some concerts, they don't let you do that. Like, if it's a least concert for, like, a major act at the Hollywood Bowl, they kind of, like, make you buy the fucking expensive drinks. But, like, the Hollywood Bowl specifically is just, I was telling my wife, I was like, if we move away from L.A., I will, this will be, like, the one of the places I miss the most. Dude, I wish I had gone to that.

That sounds amazing. Yeah, it was a great night. But just, like, you know, go see live music. If you have a chance, spend a little money. I mean, this was cheap. I probably wouldn't have gone if it was a really expensive ticket, but it was a fucking great night. So if you have a chance to go to an orchestra, go do it because it was a blast. Dude, I like when they do the movies there.

We saw Harry Potter once where the live orchestra is there playing the score. Yeah. And this is similar to the card magic by Jason guy. They're so good that you almost forget. Yeah, you're just watching the movie. It's so precise. Yeah, because I'm like, oh, yeah, they're actually playing. I once did mushrooms and went there for John, John Williams, like.

Oh, the John Williams night? Yeah. And he just, they just played all the music from all of his different movies. And also, they were playing, like, snippets from the movies. Yeah. And the, I'll tell you what, dude. Did you get emotional? Oh, yeah, but the roller coaster of, like, the Jurassic Park theme is happening, and you're like, this is incredible.

And then it goes to saving Private Ryan, and you're like, what the fuck? I know. Dude, we were, because you know how everybody brings lightsabers because he do Star Wars, you know? So my wife and I went, me and Megan, and we had smoked a little grass. So we were a little stoned. And we do the Star Wars. Yeah, yeah, everybody's got the lightsabers, everybody had fun. And then John Williams goes, and now a piece from Schindler's list. Yes, dude. And I leaned over to Megan, I said, get your lightsabers out. And we both cracked up the entire time. And I was so embarrassed. I was like, oh, I feel like an asshole because I'm literally like trying to stifle my laughs during this really emotional

thing from a really fucking important movie and I'm ruining it. I'm gonna be selfish and tweak Evans' top hits to scores and composition. Yeah, that's good. And now I'm fired up. Dude, movies without the scores fucking suck. Suck, dude, except for No Country for Old Man,

one of the strangest achievements of all time. There's no music in that movie and it's fucking insane. It's unbelievable. That fires me up. Cool. Okay, let's do a blind ranking. Great idea by have. We did blind ranking last week.

Best Nickelodeon shows. Today we're doing blind ranking Nickelodeon live action Nickelodeon shows from the 90s. A little part two. Yeah. We only did cartoons last time. So now we're doing live action. And it was really awesome seeing the split between the Ren and Stimpy Rockos of the world. And the weirdos?

The comments too. The gross kids? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was awesome. It was a war. The amount of gross kids that emerged in my, in my, in my, like, text from friends and the comments and DMs, I was just like this year old gross kid.

Shout a Shmoopy. Shmoopy, gross kid. Yeah. She was like, it's not gross if it's funny. And I was like, it's still gross. It's disgusting. It's still disgusting. So we're doing blind ranking live action Nickelodeon shows from the 90s.

All that. That is a fucking heavy hither. Interesting one to come out with because that, I didn't like that show as much as everyone else. You are an idiot. it is all that is SNL, right? The SNL for kids.

Lori Beth Denberg. Lori Beth Denberg. It made a feature in workaholics. Really? Yeah, yeah. She did. That's the only part.

She's always there. Dude, we got Keenan and Kel from that, Amanda Binds from that. All that was, there's some gas coming, though. I can only think of one that I think is better. Again, your act, dude,

all that was incredible. I don't like to. This is not good. Well, I just can't do. three. I knew this one was going to cause a problem. Oh man, dude. All that, you S&L bitches.

Dude, all that was so good. All that was must watch TV. No, I think it was bad. I was watching SNL at the age of five, so I didn't like all that. Can I ask you a question? Do you always have to suck? They weren't the show. Do you always have to just be a dumb piece of shit?

Because this is what I need, I need you to do. if you are this dumb and contrarian and shitty either lean into it and become like a total weird guy or stop this fraudulent act where people think that you are a normal functioning member of society when we all know that you're not i don't know if everyone i'm excited to see what the comment section thinks of all that but we'll go too but if if people come to my defense here then you are going to have some splating to do i and i listen if everyone in the comments is like all that sucked, I will be like, shit, okay, I'm way wrong. But I don't think I am. It didn't suck. You're right about that. All right, let's go too. Are you afraid of the dark? Oh, what? Scared the brakes off me. But that is because it was good. Too scary. Couldn't watch it.

Dude, I'm being dead ass with you right now. There was times where I was watching Nickelodeon as a kid and whatever like Doug would end at 430, 430 to 5. and then at five o'clock, are you afraid of the dark? Come on. And that theme song would turn on, and I had to turn the TV off so fast before this theme song even finished. Otherwise, I would piss my pants from fear.

Literally, I'd be like, oh my God. I kind of had the same feeling. Evan, dead ass. Listen to this, dude. This happened, and Chris was like, actually get out of, get me out of the house. Like, I would piss my pants from fear if that theme song was actually like,

it was, I remember, remember that. I remember being young, younger than you. And like that would come on and you would like, quick, quick. He would either run out of the room if you couldn't get to the remote fast enough or turn it off. If you get to the shot of the fucking clown in the attic, you're dead. It's all over. Yeah, you got to get off before that clown shot. Because then I had my name there's that night. You did not like that show. That is a hard five. It is kind of crazy that Nickelodeon had just a straight up horror show. Why did they do that? Because it was good. There was To be fucking cool.

There were some great episodes, dude. Great episodes. All right, so what are we ranking it? I like four. I can't believe you want to put it at five just because it scared you. Yeah, it scared the shit out of me. It should be one, I guess, for that reason. Okay.

Let's go... I mean, no, let's go four. Four. It's not a five. Actually, man, were there any bad... Yeah, there were some bad ones. Nope. Four.

Four. Salute your shorts. Tremendous. I really liked this show. Tremendous. Do you know the song? Camp on Wana. We hold you in our hearts. Then when we think about you,

it makes us want to fart. And then they're like, I hope we never part. Now play it right or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I can't remember what else. Salute Your Shorts was awesome. It was just a show about a camp. It was a summer camp. I wonder if we watch

Salute Your Shorts now if it would be just like mate absolutely yeah i i have bad news for you i tried to rewatch is it terrible it's pretty bad it's pretty budget dude it's really look at oh it's definitely budget definitely budget but it was it had good characters so that's what we like i like that the like uh like the idiot with the bucket hat on uh well remember zeke the plumber that was scary to zeke the plumber dude oh yeah god i i i i listen i could go five here i oh no oh i want to go three sure but because we can't go one we have to go five.

Yeah, we have to. What do you mean? Dude, I'm telling you, if we put Salute your shorts at three and then like a couple, I can think of four right off the top of my head that are so good. So are you afraid of the dark

should have been fucking five? No, are you just because it scared you because you're a little bitch? I want to make sure you guys know there are no game shows on here. That's a whole separate category. Okay.

That is. This is live action narrative shows. Okay, then I'll go three. That was a huge. That's a great thing. Okay, I wanted to save you. Next week we're doing game shows. Next we're going to do game shows because there's more than five of those.

I've been waiting for game shows. Yeah, sorry, dude. Live action narrative. Okay, then I will... I think we go three, I think. Okay, three. Sillard your shirts. I mean, I like to salute your shirts.

Yeah, yeah, three. All right. Adventures of Pete and Pete and Pete. I could go five. I didn't like the show. Because there's one coming so big, or there's, I think there's a few coming so big. I'm going to go five. Listen, Pete and Pete and Pete was cool, but I did not like Pete and Pete.

Not your favorite show, Evan? No, no, no. It's not. I'm really curious to know what you guys think is a great Nickelodeon live action show. What was it good? It was called all that. What was the premise of Pete and Pete? Pete and Pete is a delightfully quirky show that looks at the lives and adventures of two redheaded brothers with the same day. Do you remember it? Remember that one younger brother had a, he had a tattoo of like a hot lady on his arm called Patoon. You know what? I'm going to be honest. I think we're wrong. I think Pete and Pete might have been incredible. But I think it was just, I didn't get it. It was very surreal and, like, quirky.

I was love and salute your shorts. Danny Tambourini, Tamborelli, I think. Yeah. He was in Mighty Ducks, too. Oh, okay. He's, uh, his sister's the sick figure skater. He was a figure skater as well. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was a Nickelodeon ledge. He was also in Good Burger. I think five, dude. Okay, five. We just have one left. Yep. Okay.

Yeah, your number one's Clarissa explains it all. I actually love that show. Me too. I actually loved that show. I actually loved that show. And it wasn't what I thought was going to be one, but that is a tremendous one. And I like that way more than all that. I mean, it was Melissa Joan Hart.

What's her name again? Clarissa explains it all was fucking sick. Oh, no, yeah. Yeah, she's incredible because she was Sabrina too, right? Wasn't she the teenage witch? Yes. Yes. Was she?

I thought so. Yeah. And she's like TGI Friday. Dude, Clarissa was gas. Wasn't there some dude that used to like come into her window with a ladder? Dude,

that's just trying to remember. She was kind of, uh, Dude, Clarissa explains it all was like an OG Break the Fourth Wall show. Yeah, dude. It was like that show's awesome.

Yeah, I liked that show. I think Pete and Pete was way better though. Well, not for me. Like, it probably was. And if we rewatch, I'm like Pete and Pete's good. I mean,

I mean, yeah. Clarissa explains it all had like aliens in it. It was awesome. What about, what was that? What was the show that you were expecting.

I actually am not even positive now that I'm saying it. This was a Nickelodeon show. And I remember quite literally nothing about it except loving it. Hey dude. Oh yeah. Hey dude. Yeah, it was a dude ranch.

Yeah. I was gonna put Hey Dude on, but I thought Hey Dude and Sliut Your Shorts were like too similar. They were. They were very, very similar. It was like Black Sheep and Tommy Boy. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Remember Alex Mack? The one where she could turn into fucking liquid and silver. She was like T-1000. I forgot about that. That show was great. I think we probably butchered this. I think Pete and Pete should have... No, I think all that should have been one.

No. Colerissa, I'm thrilled with one. I'll be honest if... Dude, your distaste for all that is like very strange. Very strange. And I will say this, if I had known game shows weren't in it, I would have lobbied heavy for all that to be won. I just don't think I like to sketch show.

I wanted more narrative. Yeah, but you're dumb, dude. Like, we got the Amanda show because of all that. Yeah, yeah. We got Good Berker because of all that. So the reason why Keenan is like the longest tenured SNL cast memory. He's like I was raised on all of it. Yeah, dude, he's been doing it his whole life.

God, Lori Beth got screwed. All right, not our best, but that was a good walkdown memory lane. All right, that's going to do it for this episode. Amazing stuff. We all love, we love you guys. You're the best. Go check out the new merch, Emptynetters.com, unbelievable hoodies on there. Subscribe to the YouTube.

Follow on all the socials. Send us around to all your friends. Have an amazing weekend. We'll see you at Fanatics Fest if you are there. And if you're not, don't worry. You're going to see all the content coming out. Until we see you next time. Skate hard.