Endless Thread - Snacktime: Llama At A Wedding
Episode Date: July 17, 2020“What are the dimensions of an adult llama?” asked a Redditor called Mrs. Sam Handwich in the "No Stupid Questions" community. "I've been hired to make a tuxedo for a llama and I don't have its me...asurements," she added. We get to the bottom of this now-famous Reddit post.
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Amory, it's been a minute since we've done a snack time.
It's true.
Although I got to say, working from home, snack time is all the time for me, baby.
At least in the literal sense.
I even made up a new word.
You did?
Yes.
So, you know, when you're bored,
and you snack just to kill time just to have something to do.
Mm-hmm.
I call it a snack-tivity.
That's pretty good.
That deserves more of a laugh from you than just...
I don't know.
Snackivity.
I'll give you a guffaw.
Do you want a guffaw?
Please.
That's more like it.
I have made the mistake of ordering a lot of,
of potato chips to my house recently?
I like basically like tore through some sour cream and onion yesterday in a way that like both
my wife, Sarah and I like looked at each other like at 10.30 last night and we're like,
we can't do this anymore.
We got to get these chips out of the house.
Get them out.
We can't be, we can't be having like four bags of chips in the house.
That's not, that's not good.
All right.
You got any salt and vinegar or barbecue?
You send them to me.
I will.
Also, by the way, the reason we are talking about snacks to any of you new listeners out there who are like, what are you guys talking about?
Welcome to snack time.
This is a chance for us to tell you some of our favorite Reddit stories that don't quite become full episodes.
We like to think of them as endless thread snacks in between the meal-sized episodes.
And today we've got a classic snack.
It only happened a few months ago.
And it really was an instant classic.
Like, I feel like my memory of this, Amory, is that.
that like I saw it and sent it to you.
And you had either seen it independently or very quickly looked at it.
And you were like, we need to talk to this person.
Oh, yeah.
There was no doubt that we were going to address this in some way.
So this was from back in February, a redditor called Mrs. Sam Handwich, which I love her already.
She posted in the no stupid questions community, which is exactly what it sounds like.
and her question was, what are the dimensions of an adult llama?
She then goes on to give a little more context.
So we called up Mrs. Sam Handwich and had her read it for us herself.
Do you have the post in front of you?
Yes, I do.
Cool.
Can we have you read that for us?
All right, the original post is, I've been hired to make a tuxedo for a llama and I don't have its measurements.
I'm also going to assume the llama is male.
The measurements needed are, the length of the leg,
from just above the hoof, the ankle, so the bottom of the torso, height from bottom of torso to the back of neck,
distance around the neck, and widths across the shoulders. Thank you.
This should be taught in journalism school for, like, writing a strong lead.
Just because I feel like, you know, it's very straightforward, but it's also very well written,
because as a reader, immediately you had me. You had me at Lama, and I was in, and I wanted to know everything.
Thank you. That's kind of what I was going for. I do. I write in my spare time, nothing like journalism, just annoying notes to my husband.
So what was the response?
Well, I learned that there is an entire different world right under our noses where people show llamas and take llama costume making classes.
And I was just blown away by the fact that llama costume classes exist.
What?
I'm also blown away by that.
Right.
The person, I had a person directly message me that, you know, hey, I know this is going to be a weird conversation,
but I've taken classes in how to dress llamas and llama tailoring because I show llamas professionally.
And I was like, what world have I stumbled across?
And the story only got better from there because a month or so later, in early March,
a redditor called DJ117x made a post in the Picks community, Pixis and Pictures and pictures,
And the headline read, five years ago, I promised my sister I bring a llama to her wedding.
And of course, there is a photo attached.
And it looks like a bride having, like, in her face, she looks like she's having a bit of a Bridezilla moment.
She is like, oh, come on.
She's not happy.
And next to her is a dude who is dressed almost identically to a llama.
I think that actually, that look is what made the post go.
so viral is you can really see the duality of a brother's sister relationship, you know, her
looking so incredibly pissed in me with the humongous smile on my face.
That is Redditor DJ117X, who is also the beaming brother of the bride slash llama handler
in the photo. His name is Mendel, which is a Hebrew name. It means strength. Do you know what
Lama is in Hebrew?
Yeah, actually, Lama is a word in Hebrew.
Funny story.
And it means why.
It means why?
Yeah.
So people have been commenting on my post, you know, with the word in Hebrew saying,
Lama.
My name is Mendel Weinstock, also known as DJ 117X on Reddit.
I am a student at the University of Akron in Akron, Ohio, studying financial planning.
The beginning of Mendel's Lama Escapade started with a long car ride five years ago.
He was in the car with his sister and a couple of his sister's friends.
And even though no one was engaged at the time, weddings were clearly on the mind.
It's about a five-hour car ride.
And she was talking about planning her wedding almost as if she was going to have it the next day.
And of course, being stuck in a car for five hours listening to three teenage girls talk about their weddings was driving me crazy.
So I decided to have a little fun with it.
I said, I'm not going to come to your wedding.
And of course, you know, that got a reaction out of her.
She lost it.
She said, you have to come to my wedding.
You're my only brother.
It's very important.
So then I said the next, you know, most random thing that came to my mind, I said,
if you make me come to the wedding, I'm going to bring a llama with me.
It was totally random.
It's the first thing that popped in my head.
And of course, that freaked her out even further.
She said, you can't do that to me.
It's my special day.
You're going to ruin it.
So eventually, she gets so worked up that she says, if you go ahead, the llama is invited to the wedding.
So those were the magic words.
And ever since that day, in those words, I have promised her that I'm going to bring a llama to her wedding.
And on Sunday, I made good on that promise.
Mendel, I feel like we've all said things like this before, though.
Like, you know, I'm going to bring a llama to your wedding or I'm going to come to your wedding in assless chaps or whatever.
whatever it is.
Amory.
Have you said that before, Amory?
Did you tell someone that?
Much like the llama, that was just the first thing that came to my mind, Ben.
That was great, though.
I'll have to use that.
But when did you decide, you know, especially once your sister actually got engaged,
when did you decide that you were actually going to follow through on this?
Five years ago, I'm telling you, when she said the words,
the llama is invited to the wedding, I put it in my head.
head, it's going to happen. And when she got engaged in October of last year, shortly after, I mean,
maybe a few weeks, I called a llama place in Akron, Ohio, and I rented a llama. And I was dead serious
about this the entire time, but I was never more serious than when I actually rented the llama.
You just call your local llama place. Yeah, you know, as you do. Do we have one of those here, Ben?
I don't know, but we should find out.
Can I ask, how much did it cost to rent the llama?
Yeah, what's a, what does the llama go for?
What kind of damage is that going to do to my wallet?
$450, you know?
Woo.
Surprisingly.
Not a lot, actually.
Did you have to rent by the hour?
No, it was a flat fee.
Flat fee.
Okay, good to know.
Now that Mendel had officially set Lama Rama into motion,
he had a few other details to figure out.
which is where a co-worker of his at Papa John's Pizza came in,
a co-worker known as Mrs. Sam Handwich.
More Lama-Rama coming at you in a minute.
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My name is Natalie Whitney.
I go by Mrs. Sam Handwich on Reddit.
And I am an assistant manager.
I was recently a general manager and stepped down at Papa John's in Akron, Ohio.
How did you get roped into this?
Well, a big part of our job.
I've been standing around waiting for pizzas.
Don't tell my bosses I said we stand around, though.
And so, you know, we just sit there and we shoot the breeze with each other, and Mendel was talking about how he just rented a llama.
And I was just like, I want to be a part of this no matter, like, what I have to do?
And I was like, have I ever told you I'm an amateur seamstress?
And I can make a bridesma's dress.
And he's like, oh, the llama is going to be in a tuxedo.
I was like, I will do that too.
And he's like, all right, yeah.
He's like, awesome.
Saves me in trouble of finding a Lama seamstress.
I like your optimism.
Like, I could do that.
Lama Tuxedo, no problem.
Amateur seamstress, I got this.
I love it.
Well, it's not the most difficult project I've ever taken on.
It was just like...
A Lama Tuxedo is not the most difficult project you've ever taken on?
No, I have seven siblings, and four of them are younger than me.
And so I've made a lot of Halloween costumes in my day, and it's a lot of
harder to tailor to a person than a llama.
Is that because people have opinions and llamas?
Yes.
Okay.
People also need pants.
Yes, people also need pants.
And pants are surprisingly difficult.
What was the process like of constructing the tuxedo?
How'd you do it?
Well, I pictured it was a really, really big dog because they have more or less the same shape, I guess, a longer neck.
So I looked up a lot of dog patterns, and we ended up getting measurements for the llama.
The hardest part was realizing just how big a llama really is.
Because, I mean, you can look at the numbers on the page, but until you realize, oh, my gosh, this is the size of my entertainment stand, you're not going to get it through your head.
So I just started dressing my entertainment stand, really.
It's difficult to pass along, the majesty of a llama.
It is.
You really don't get it across in pictures, but that llama was terrific.
It is everything you guys are dreaming that llama is.
And it wasn't until, like, we saw the llama that I was like, okay, yeah.
This is really happening.
I mean, you can say it all you want.
You can prepare all you want, but nothing is going to prepare you for walking up and dressing a llama.
Like, did you have to do the thing where you were like, okay, step into this one.
Okay, now step into this one.
No, actually. I made the sleeves that they were just, they weren't sewn in the back, so it was just like a flap instead of a tube. And then I brought a binder clips so we could just clip him behind his legs.
If he had wanted to, could he have ripped it off like Superman?
Oh, yeah. Most definitely. That was one of the first things I asked Mendel is, you know, if this llama is uncomfortable, I'm not doing this. I'm not going to make an animal suffer for a joke.
Was there a handler with the llama? Did they just let you?
you pick it up and drop it off?
Or were you under supervision?
They're like, bring it back.
Bring it home by 11.
No, Debbie Arndes and her daughter both came.
And they stayed with us for the entire duration.
And they are actually the ones who put the costume on the llama.
They told me that this llama in particular,
his name is Shaki, was used to wearing costumes and actually goes to shows
dressed up in costumes.
One of my favorite details
was that because this was a Jewish
wedding, Shaki had a yamaka?
Alamaka, please.
It's Alamaka. Amory, come on.
Oh my God, I can't believe I missed that.
Come on.
I'm so disappointed in myself.
He had Alamaka.
My only regret with all this
is that I wish I could have been a little more patient
and a little more quiet.
So that way it would have been more surprised
because I did not shut up about it
for five years. I reminded her at least twice a week about it. She called me the day after she got
engaged and I said, okay, I'm calling a llama place. I mean, I could not shut up about it.
Well, sometimes you have to say it enough so that it comes true, right? You were willing the
llama and its tuxedo into existence. Where was the wedding? The double tree in Beechwood, Ohio.
Do they have a llama policy? They have an animal policy and it's an extra,
I don't know how much, but it's an extra cost to bring animals into the hotel.
And my sister did not feel like paying that for a joke.
What if they're dressed to the nines?
Even if they're dressed to the nines, you still got to pay.
So the llama stayed outside.
And honestly, it worked out beautifully no matter what.
I want to see that Lama with like one headphone on at the DJ station.
You know what I'm saying?
On the dance floor.
Or on the dance floor.
I want to see him on the dance floor, not DJ.
I want to see the llama saying,
I ordered the vegetarian meal.
Some people on Reddit commented that.
Did he get the chicken or the steak?
What was your sister's reaction, Mendel?
Shock.
You know, there's nothing that can really prepare you for walking outside
and seeing a real live llama wearing a tuxedo.
And she was definitely a little mad at first,
but she got over it very quickly and realized that it was a great joke.
and she had a great time.
And I definitely didn't ruin her wedding.
She definitely had a great time at the wedding overall.
Like the llama has sort of like eclipsed the wedding in a way.
You know, a lot of people on Reddit have said that I'm very selfish for taking my sister's special day and making it all about myself.
But she has told me multiple times that I didn't ruin it.
Instead, I made it more memorable.
And, you know, her wedding has gotten more publicity than she ever would have imagined.
I mean, it probably would just be a quick little article in the Cleveland News or the Cleveland Jewish news.
And now it's being talked about worldwide.
That is not an exaggeration.
The photo of Mendel, his sister, and, of course, the Lama really did go viral, big time.
Pretty soon after drawing attention on Reddit, there were Lama at a wedding stories like everywhere, CNN, the Today Show, BuzzFeed.
It was the feel-good story of the week.
And considering that the pandemic shut every day,
down in the U.S. the very next week, Mendel fulfilled his promise just in time.
Mendel, do you expect you'll ever get married?
Eventually, yes.
Because if this isn't a setup for a massive revenge, I don't know.
I don't know what is.
Yeah, you've got like an elephant coming your way or something.
You know what?
I say this a lot as my catchphrase, but this time I really, really mean it.
You can't threaten me with a good time.
Natalie, Natalie, do you do elephants?
I've already decided that no matter what his sister has planned, I want in on it.
All right, that is our snack time.
We will be back with a regular episode next week.
I'm Ben Brock Johnson, the guy with the exact same dimensions as an adult llama.
I'm Amory Sievertson, who someday is going to have an elephant just show up
at Ben's door.
Bye.
