Endless Thread - Stuck Between The Rock and Deep Space

Episode Date: January 24, 2019

News of a mysterious interstellar object flying through our solar system inspired Redditors to collaboratively pen a perfectly cheesy sci-fi action movie. And now, we bring that movie to life as an audio drama. Presenting... "Stuck Between The Rock and Deep Space."

Support for endless thread comes from MathWorks, creator of MATLAB and Simulink Software, to design and develop engineered systems, accelerating the pace of discovery in engineering and science. Learn more at Mathworks.com. Support for WBUR comes from Is Business Broken, a podcast from the Merotra Institute at Boston University that explores questions like, why is innovation in healthcare so hard? Is ESG just greenwashing? And, of course, is business broken? Listen, wherever you get your podcasts.

Produced by the I-Lap at WBUR, Boston. Hey, guys, it's Amory. And Ben, and we have some news for you. We're going to take a break from publishing full episodes for a couple of months while we work on special Endless Thread projects. We're super excited about what's in store. And don't worry, while we're working on a bunch of new episodes of Endless Thread, we will be keeping your podcast feed nice and toasty warm with some updates on our favorite episodes.

Also updates on what we're up to along with whatever Reddit stories might pop up in the meantime that we just have to talk about. But before we go into hibernation, we want to give you something. A special project we've been working on pretty much since we started making this show. It is a sweeping audio drama, but not your average audio drama. It was adapted from a movie script written by Redditors in a separate. single comment thread. That thread came from a real news story about space and a unique space rock that humanity discovered as it was passing through our solar system.

Along with this audio drama, we did talk to Harvard's astronomy department chair, who has, just like Redditors, been mildly obsessed with this space rock. So if wacky audio dramas are not your thing, we also have a nerdy conversation about space, aliens, and the big question that has faced humanity since the dawn of time. Are we alone? You'll get a sample of our conversation on real space science today, and then in a few days we'll pop a full version of the conversation into your feed. To keep it toasty, like we said we would.

But right now, let's go. In November of 2017, a story was posted to the world news community on Reddit. The story was about space. Scientists had confirmed that a mysterious empire state building sized and shaped object just discovered speeding past the sun was from another solar system. It was the first discovery of its kind. Could it be aliens? A mysterious object flying through spaces, raising some eyebrows in the science community. Here is what we're talking about. The object was on a strange trajectory. It flew into the solar system right past the sun and then swooped around Earth on its

way out of our stellar neighborhood. It was also tumbling in this weird pattern. Some of this wasn't clear at first to the scientists. The object was hard to detect, early reports said in part, because the object was incredibly dark, swallowing most of the light that hit it. By the time scientists discovered this massive, elongated, light-swallowing object, it was almost too late to effectively observe it, but they scrounged as much data as they could. One of the teams leading these efforts to observe the object and study its odd characteristics used the Southern European Observatory's VLT, or Very Large Telescope. Yes, that is its official name.

Another team was from Hawaii. They named the object O Muamua. The meaning of the Hawaiian term, messenger. More specifically, a messenger that reaches out from the distant past. But there was another translation, Scout. There are a number of peculiarities about Omuamua that captured the attention. of Avi Loeb, the chair of the astronomy department at Harvard University. For one, when it spun around over a period of eight hours,

its brightness changed by a factor of 10. And that's much more than any object born in the solar system, such as asteroids or comets, that changed by it most a factor of three or so. Also strange, no one detected any heat radiating from Omuamua's surface. And so that implies the object must be small because we can calculate the surface temperature that it acquires by coming as close as it went to the sun. Another very peculiar fact is that this object

deviated from an orbit that is just shaped by the sun's gravity. This one is important, deviated from its orbit. Imagine a comet flying through space near the sun. The path it takes would be predictable based on the sun's gravitational pull until parts of that comet start to burn up and evaporate, propelling it, pushing it in a different direction. Omuamua got pushed off its course, just like a comet burning up, except Avi couldn't detect any burning or evaporation,

so there was no obvious explanation for its unique trajectory. What motivated our paper was trying to understand where this extra push is coming from. In that paper, published in the Astrophysical Journal in November 2018, Avi posited a few different possibilities. One of those said, and I quote, O Muamua may be a fully operational probe sent intentionally to Earth's vicinity by an alien civilization.

Long before Avi Loeb's research was published, there was another bold quote posted on Reddit. It was about the discovery of that object. and it came from a user named three-headed monkey. He said, This is the sort of thing that appears on a TV news report in the background of the main characters establishing scenes during the start of an alien invasion movie.

Drove's of Redditors, with their deep knowledge of blockbuster action films, used a kind of action movie vernacular to write their own movie script in the comments. There were multiple endings and plot lines, characters that changed as the story spiraled out in the comment thread like a galaxy full of gaseous explosions caught in slow motion. What you're about to hear is a collection of those comments, plus a dose of our own creative interpretation, loosely organized and carefully performed. So kickback, pour yourself a big old cup of suspension of disbelief, and enjoy the ride. Long ago, before recorded history, there was a great war,

between humans and aliens. Aliens? We're just going with aliens in general? Nothing more specific? Okay? This great war lasted millennia, until finally, one day, the humans banished the aliens back

from whence they came, successfully preserving life as we know it. But before the aliens left, they hit a weapon of great magnitude beneath the Earth's surface, vowing to return one day and retrieve it. Why? Why would they do that? Cut. You have one job, damn it.

Just go to the billboard. The WBUR and Reddit podcast endless thread and a bunch of random Redditors bring you Stuck between the Rock and Deep Space. The podcast version of a movie script based off a Reddit thread, performed by a bunch of amateurs pretending to be celebrities. Secret Government Hideout. Location unknown.

Professor T. Swift, this better be good. Colonel Schwarzenegger, as I detailed in my written report, the Pan Stars Telescope at the Haleakala Observatory detected an interstellar object passing through our solar system at close to 0200 hours. Directly after that, a radio telescope detected some very unusual radio emissions. Using a multilayered neural network, I analyzed the data, and the readout suggested a systematic pattern consistent,

with our understanding of fundamental communicative processes. Okay, in English, Professor. Aliens, Colonel, aliens. We think they want something from Earth. What do they want? A weapon. What could they possibly want with our weapons? Not ours, sir, theirs.

Our team is still trying to decipher the communications, but from what we've gathered, their species stored something here on Earth thousands of years ago, after a great war, before even our most primitive attempts at recording history. They hit a weapon of great magnitude beneath the planet's surface. Colonel, I think they're coming back for it.

Well, Professor, you better get your nerds crunching those numbers double time. If aliens are coming back to get their weapon buried in our backyard, I'd like to know where the hell they plan to start digging. Our hero for this story, The Rock, picks up his children, Jess and Tommy, from a local elementary school. Hey guys, I was school. Just as The Rock gives his kids a muscular embrace, his phone begins to ring. It's a call he hasn't received in quite some time.

Professor T. Swift. Now here's a call I haven't gotten in quite some time. You know I'm retired right. Come my gold watch and everything. I told you after Beirut, that was the last one. If you think I'm coming in, you're kidding yourself. You don't have a choice, The Rock. Unless you're planning to finish your research.

retirement on another planet, this time they're coming to you. That doesn't sound good. Come already, Daddy. Just tell me what the hell is going on. Have you ever seen Armageddon? Sure, I love a good Bruce Willie flick. How about War in the World? Tom Cruise, weird guy. Good movie. What's your point?

What about Independence Day? Okay, so you didn't really call me to find out my top ten action movie list, did you? If only that were true, think of the most generic action movie, mashed up with the most generic Michael Bay alien invasion plot, and you've got what we have here. Except this? This is for real these. Jesus. I'll be there as soon as I can, Professor. Back at the Kunis Johnson abode. Go upstairs, Jessica, take Tommy with you. Me and your mommy, Milakunis, need to talk. In hushed voices, The Rock and Milakunis argue. But why the Rock? Because I have to, Mila. That's Beal. That's Be.

Yes, you make your own choices in this world. Not this time. This time, it's the world that's at stake. Professor T. Swift told me all about it. You promised you were leaving that life behind. You promised, Dwayne. You're doing this now. In front of the kids. Well, it's not new to them, Dwayne. Where were you at Tommy's piano recital in kindergarten graduation? At Jessica's first, third, fourth, and seventh birthdays?

Look, something came up. It's important. Can you just wait this out for a few more days? For me? For them? Again, Dwayne? Again? You're unbelievable. You can never put your family first, can you? What if I said this is putting my family first? Can you just trust me? You say that every time, The Rock. It's your new catchphrase, and it's getting tired. Hold on. I just got a voicemail. The Rock, you have one new message. Press 1 to listen. Dwayne, it's Taylor. Hurry.

I've got to go. I love you. The Rock turns on his heel, puts on a leather jacket, and walks out the front door. Hey, I know it's a bad time right now, but... Why? After all this time now, you find... A feeling when your ex-girlfriend is in your contacts right next to your ex-buddy. Stacey? Is this you? Who the fuck else would it be?

Oh, man. This is weird. I called the wrong number. For the record, I'm married, and I have two kids. Oh, you're married, huh? You're married? Mr. Afraid of Commitment isn't married. Mr. I don't want to have kids. Suddenly he has two of them. Good for you, Dwayne.

You know who still isn't married? Me, because I wasted my best years on you. Best of luck with everything. Bye. Terry Cruz is on a remote tropical island beach in a reclining chair. A straw hat sits over his face. He is surrounded by empty cocktail glasses and tiny drink umbrellas, which are strewn on the sand around him.

He wiggles his muscular toes and bats away his straw hat in annoyance as the phone continues to ring. Finally, he picks up. How the hell you get this number? Terry Cruz, my man. I need your help. Listen, we all got problems,

to rock. Like how I need another Pina Colada. Hey, Cabana boy, can I get a refill? I'll be right there, Mr. Cruz. It's a serious Terry Cruz. I just got a report from above. Way above. I'm talking level seven classified.

I can't do this alone. I'm retired, the Rock, remember? I thought you were, too. Remember what happened in Beirut? The Rock pauses. The memory of Beirut hurts. You were always... And the only smart ass I trusted on that strike team.

You remember the promise we made? Bros. for life? I need you now, Capandre. I'm cashing in my bro chips. All of them. God damn it. God damn it, where's my peanut caleta? Coming, Mr. Cruz.

This better be good, the rock. It isn't. It isn't good at all. You have one new message. From unknown caller, press one. Unidentified flying object. Time to impact. Zero days, nine hours, two minutes.

Back at the secret government hideout. Location unknown. Hey! Hey, hey, someone let me in. Well, well, well, Professor T. Swift. Never thought I'd be babysitting you again. Pretty sure I'm going to be doing the babysitting, Dwayne. The two friends bump fists.

Professor T. Swift beckons the rock further into the facility. There's no more time for pleasantries. Follow me. Oh, hell no. I am not working with him, not ever again. The rock sees Colonel Schwarzenegger for the first time since Beirut. Why do you think Professor T. Swift's something? you here. Come on the rock. They were just orders. Put Beirut behind you. This is bigger than that.

Dwayne walks into the room, his eyes shooting daggers at Colonel Schwarzenegger. You look different, Colonel. It's not a tumor. At 0200, we received the radio signal from our deep space probe. Colonel Schwarzenegger has developed a reputation for delivering long, drawn-out, military reports and breathing. So let me go through the instructions for how to protect your spacesuits from unforeseen fire accidents, which is pretty unlikely, but better safe than sorry. Once Colonel Schwarzenegger gets on a roll, he's hard to slow down.

And that is why I had Professor T. Swift call you in. Understood. Understood, Colonel. What the hell is going on? My teen's been preparing for this moment for years. I think it's time we show you what we've been working on. Gentlemen, what you're looking at is the latest in Earth-saving technology. We're calling it the Mega Ultra Rocket Defender of Earth Rocket,

or murder, for short. The machine is partly shrouded in clouds of steam as workers insert fuel and run diagnostics. It looks like the combination of a spaceship and a warhead. It's a nice little toy you made, but why do you need me? Well, there are seats. Wait, what? You've got it, Sherlock.

We need you to control the murder rocket from inside the rocket. Correct me if I'm wrong, Colonel Schwarzenegger, but that sounds like a death sentence. I won't be part of your suicide squad. I'm out. The rock takes the leather jacket slung over his shoulder and slides it back on over his massive bulging biceps. He begins to walk away. Oh, boo-hoo, what's the matter? Are you afraid of E.T. kicking your ass?

I'm trying to keep my ass from dying for no reason. Dwayne, I know we're asking a lot of you. But we need to intercept the aliens before they reach the Earth's atmosphere. You're the only one who can pull this off. Why? Why should I throw my life away? I have a family. There's no time. The alien probe will be past the point of no return, mere minutes from now in the podcast.

If you don't commit to murder right now, your children will be caught in New York. when they tear out apart to find a big shiny toy. Oh, well, damn. Do I at least get a last meal? I could murder a Taco Bell right now. The Rock turns and winks at the screen. Transgressions and fear, orphans.

We will devour your kind, and you have not but your rock to thank. Wait, is it the Rock or just Rock? Not but the Rock to thank. About time. About time for what? The rock slips on a pair of aviators and unholsters a 50-caliber action

Express Desert Eagle from his pants. About time, they smelled what I was cooking. Get a grip, tough guy. You can't defeat an alien race with one little gun. Oh, right. Why do you think I've spent literally years building the murder rocket? My bad. I guess I thought

I was in a different movie. The Rock figures out what movie he's in when we come back. At Radio Lab, we love nothing more than nerding out about science, neuroscience, chemistry. But, but we do also like to get into other kinds of stories, stories about policing, or politics, country music, hockey, sex, of bugs. Regardless of whether we're looking at science or not science, we bring a rigorous curiosity to get you the answers. hopefully make you see the world anew. Radio Lab, adventures on the edge of what we think we know. Wherever you get your podcasts.

There is something powerful about the sound of the human voice. Beautifully produced audio has the unique power to connect and inspire. Tell your organization's story with a custom podcast from City Space Productions, the creative studio from WBUR's business partnerships team. Become a thought leader. Recruit new talent. Reach new audiences. Whatever your goal, we can help.

Discover how the magic is made at WBUR.org slash creative studio. A group of hip millennial software developers are talking in a posh converted warehouse office space in Manhattan near the Hudson River. They discuss a flowchart on a huge smart board that is filled with jargon. Mark Sparkle Barf, a software developer, scribbles something on the board. And that is why we can't push this code to production yet. It's too unstable. Think fast. Mark looks up quickly to catch a Nerf football before throwing it back to Lena, another software developer. Whoa, good one, Lena.

Mark, I just don't understand. You're acting like if we push this code into production, it's going to be the end of the world or something. No, Lena. The end of the world is the end of the world. And it looks like this is just about the end of my day. Let's pick this up tomorrow. See you, Lena. See you, Mark.

Hey, Mark, wait up. Sorry, who are you? You're Mark Sparkle Barf, right? Software developer WonderKKKin. newly minted billionaire, number 29 on Time Magazine's 30 under 30? Uh, yeah. So glad I found you. Follow me.

But again, who are you? You look so familiar. Me? I'm Terry Cruz. Your country needs you. We're going to interrupt our usual programming right now to take you to the White House, where President Tom Selleck has called a press conference to address the nation regarding a government report on the presence of extraterrestrial life in our solar system.

Let's go now to the Rose Garden. My fellow Americans, this morning I received word that we intercepted a radio signal from an interstellar object moving through our solar system. We're faced now with the answer to a question that we've never been able to answer in the whole history of mankind. We are not alone. Teams in our national security apparatus have decoded the signal. Meanwhile, back in the Coonis Johnson living room, It is a message, and the message is not, as we might have hoped. It is not a message of peace.

Mommy, when's daddy getting here? Soon, Jessica, I hope. But where is he? I, I don't know. I will say this. America has never faced a challenge like this one. But I think our great nation is up to the task. It has to be.

That is what our Constitution and our highest ideals require. We must stand up for our freedoms. Thank you. God bless you. And may God continue to bless the United States of America. Colonel Schwarzenegger and the Rock stand before a wall of television monitors in the secret government facility. Across the polished concrete floor of the massive hangar, Professor T. Swift taps her fingers

along a tablet that wirelessly adjust settings and monitors instruments on the murder. the murder rocket. System error. I run the program a thousand times and this damn thing won't function correctly. If only we had a few more days for testing. Launch now and once it hits the mesosphere, it's anyone's guess what will happen. Fill her up and let's roll, Professor. Move it. You can't be serious. If you want me to make it official and tell you it's in order, I will. Hey, you can't go in there. That's restricted. All of a sudden, Terry Cruz bursts into the room, dragging Mark's Sparklebar by the collar of his shirt. This sure looks like a party. Terry Cruz, what in God's green earth are you doing here? I asked him to come. Of course you did. Haven't seen you in a while, Colonel Schwarzenegger,

and you're still just as warm and fuzzy as you were back in Beirut. My man. The Rock grins at his old pal. They aggressively grasp each other's hands as if they're starting to arm wrestle. Their biceps bulge ridiculously. So, you decided to leave Paradise after all? There's only so many peanut colladas one man could drink. Yadda boy. Wait, so who is that? Professor T. Swift points at Mark Sparkle Barf, who flinches and pushes his glasses back onto his nose.

This is the guy who's going to save your rocket. Meet Mark Sparkle Barth. Professor T. Swift's eyes light up. The Mark Sparkle Barth? Number 29 from Time Magazine's 30 under 30? Uh, the one and only. Mark, fix this damn rocket. Yes, sir.

If this were a real movie, this is when you'd see a montage of Mark Sparkle Bar fixing the murder rocket as our other heroes watch in awe and motivational music plays underneath. But since this is just a podcast, let's skip ahead. Finished. Impossible. We would have needed to program the control unit for at least three more weeks. Sometimes a nerd needs another nerd to complete the nerd quest. And sometimes you need a muscle-bound dude to put those nerds together. You're welcome, nerds. Status. All systems Properly configured? Launch sequences prepped? We're ready for departure. All right, meatbags. It's time to throw you into space.

The Rock and Terry Cruz both grab a helmet and spacesuit from a nearby rack. Terry Cruz, what do you think you're doing? There's two seats on this damn thing, isn't there? Colonel Schwarzenegger looks at the murder rocket and notices a second seat for the first time. Okay. I guess you can proceed, gentlemen. Let's blow up those candy-ass aliens. Aye, aye, Captain. Back at the Kunis Johnson House, Milakunus hears a knock at the door.

Coming! One second! Ben Affleck! My brother! Come here, sis. Give your bro a hug. I came as soon as I saw the president speaking. Where's your man shop? The rock. He got called in. Of course. Of course. Of course. Look, I just spoke to Mom and Dad. We're going to head down to their cabin.

in the countryside until this all dies down. But what about the Rock? Leaving my note, telling them where we're going. There's no time to wait. Okay, I just need a few minutes to pack up. I'll wait in the car. Protocol engaged. The Rock and Terry Cruz ready the ship,

as only this crew of the world's best special ops warrior maverick experimental rocket pilots can by stripping out unnecessary parts and pieces and tossing them away, you know, to make it more lightweight, powerful and generally badass. The Rock pops a cassette into the tape player. You dirty dog, you never travel without this mixtape, do you?

Mila gave it to me on our first anniversary. Never been without it since. The Rock and Terry Cruz hum along to the Eagle song, Take It to the Limit, in a manly, slightly, okay, definitely off-key way. So put me on a highway and show me a sign. And take it to you. Back at the Kunis Johnson abode, Mila Kunis readies her family to flee town. She catches a glimpse of her children, playing in the other room, and she pauses.

A tear wells up in her eye and drips down her cheek. Overcome by love, worry, and fear of the impending doom hurtling toward the entire planet, but more troublingly towards her brave husband, she decides to go upstairs, slowly undress and take a long, steamy shower. Really? Come on. Who wrote this? This is terrible.

That's not what you do in the apocalypse. You're coming back for more. To put me on a highway. And show me a sign. And take it to the limit one more time. Can't believe we're back together again. It's one last mission before we're done. What are you going to do when this is all over?

Back to the beach? Yeah, maybe. Then again, I think if I saw a pineapple right now, I might get sick. Really? It's lonely on the beach. I thought I'd live out a long life from that reclining chair, but I think I'm ready. Ready for what? The end.

This is my last rodeo. Why would you say that? After Beirut, I came back to nothing. I'm just another vet whose only legacy is fighting in the war nobody cares about. At least you have Mela and the kid. Tune out, actually. Hey, man, that's great. Is Colonel Schwarzenegger.

Men, it's time. Hit the A1 button. Roger that, Colonel. Whoa, whoa. A1 changes the direction of the journey. Do, as I told you. That's not the plan. Where are we going?

We are going with the plan. Trust me. Turn on remote controlling. Yes, sir. You can't take over our rocket's controls. The rock comes to a realization. That voice. Not but the rock to thank.

That was you. Is there even a real alien threat? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I guess you're not as dumb as you look. Remember Beirut? No loose ends. That includes you, the rock. I admit, my plan to get rid of you by faking the existence of aliens in a global crisis may feel elaborate, but this is an action movie.

The only thing that's simple is how you die in a massive explosion. But what about me? You didn't even know I'd be here. Ha, ha, Terry, Terry, Terry, Coole's, I was going to end you differently. The old poisoned Pena Collada move, I learned from the best, Jimmy Buffett. But your cavalier had to do blade right into my hands. Two birds, one stone, one big rocket goes boom in near space. It's all good to me.

This is your final happy hour, Terry, and I'm paying the tab. But... Professor T-Swift, did she know this whole time? Ha-ha, don't worry about Professor T-Swift. I've taken care of her. T-Swift! Self-destruct initiated in... 60, 59, 58.

Colonel Schwartzhender wants us to die up here. No aliens after all. That bastard. Look, an escape-five. God bless Professor T. Swift. 1.50. 49. 48. There's only wound for one person. She didn't know I was coming.

I guess this is the part in the movie where the only black person dies, and I'm ready. Take it. No, Colonel Schwarzenegger wanted you, not me. You're the only real threat after what we saw in Beirut. You need to live. Take the pod.

I will not let you die on this rocket. We've been through hell, and I expect to go through heaven with you too. You've got Mela and two kids. I've got nothing. Get in the par, Duane. No! When you get back on Earth, disconnect your phones,

your laptops, move houses, everything. Disappear, you heard me? You disappear! Don't let them know you're alive. Make the colonel believe you died on this ship. Make the rest of the world believe we died as heroes saving the world from aliens. It's the only way.

No! Never talk about any of this until the time is right and you're far, far out of the reach of Colonel Schwarzenegger's murderous pawn. It's okay. The rock looks at his best friend one last time before he jumps into the escape pod. Then he's gone, hurtling through the night and plummeting back to Earth. Meanwhile, back on Earth, Mila and her family have finally decided to evacuate.

Jessica, Tommy, we're leaving. Where's Daddy? Daddy isn't coming. Why? He's busy. We should wait for him. We don't know when he'll be back, so we're going to Grandma's house. He'll meet us there.

Mila and the kids pile into Ben Affleck's car. Just as they're about to leave, there's a loud crash. Mila peers outside the car, at the wreckage. Kids, stay in the car. Mommy! I'll be right back. But I... Stay in the car.

Milakunis jumps out of the car, grabs a golf club that's sitting in the garage, and slowly walks over to the crash site. The rock stumbles out of the escape pod and shakily stands before Milakunis, his muscular chest heaving. His face is dirty, but not that dirty. Can I get a beer? Mila rushes over to the rock, throwing her arms around him. I thought you were dead.

Don't you ever do that to me again. You know, I saved the world from aliens. I'm an okay father, but I'm a horrible husband. Oh, the rock. Baby. I'm home. They hug, they kiss, they honestly get a little inappropriate right in front of their kids waiting in the car and her brother. Can we come out now?

Yes, yes, come on, kids. Jessica and Tommy run outside. Yay! My kids! The rock turns to Milakunis, grinning, his dimples bulging. My rock. Wait, so what happened to the aliens? I mean, not that I want this story to continue.

Well, you just got to stay tuned for the sequel. Stuck Between the Rock and Much Deeper Space. Oh, boy. Stuck between the Rock and Deep Space was adapted for endless thread by producer Josh Swartz and intern emeritus Candice Lim. Special thanks to all the Redditors with deep familiarity of action movie tropes who contributed to the original Reddit thread, including Three-Headed Monkey, Loner Stoner Romer, Triumph 807, King of Fish,

Cutty 2K, Rockstar Nail Bombs, Logger, Logger, Logger, Go 1016, Psycho Alpaca, Panic, Scottish Buzzard, Dory Lucie, Son of Noah, The Unforgotten, That username is a spy, Eke, Gambitler, Six-Sevens, Letster Spielman, Matt 3986, and EWVGL. And starring Jack Leppiars as Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Marquise Neal as Terry Cruz, Ben Brock Johnson as Colonel Schwarzenegger. Get through the chopper! Me, Amory Sebertson as Professor T. Swift. Candice Springer as Milakunis.

Matt Reed as Ben Affleck. Martin Kessler as Mark Sparklebarf. Paris Alston as Lena. Sarah Rose Brenner as Stacey. Lisa Mullins as the radio announcer. WBUR General Manager Charlie Kravitz as President Tom Selleck. Nicholas Silber as Jessica. Theo Silber as Tommy.

John Parati as disgruntled movie director. Josh Swartz as Security Guard and Henschman. And Rose Eveleth as Narrow. She's the creator and host of the podcast Flash Forward. It's a show about possible and not so possible future scenarios. You should definitely check it out. It's a great show. Thank you, Rose.

And thanks to all of our colleagues who lent their time and talents to this wacky episode. Endless Thread is a production of WBUR, Boston's NPR station, in partnership with Reddit. Our show is a dream realized by Jessica Alpert, who read the first page of our screenplay and said, Are you seeing this shit? Iris Adler is our executive producer and thinks that she and Colonel Schwarzenegger should get into a... Boss pipe. Mix and sound designed by John Parati and Paul Vicus, who brought us 16 different explosion sound effects and said... Listen to this.

Listen to this. Listen to this. Listen to this. Listen to this. Our web producer is Megan Kelly, who thinks this alien invasion movie parody is filled with... Dad jokes. Michael Pope is our advisor at Reddit and wonders if the person who wrote this movie was... Drunk or a kid. Josh Swartz and...

is our producer who hopes this episode will generate some dank memes. Big thanks to Redditor, Your Post as a Movie, for the extremely legit and hilarious movie poster he made for us. You can find more of his fake movie posters at Your Post as a Movie.com. Don't forget, yes, we are taking a hiatus for a couple months to work on special projects. But hey, we got lots of episodes in our feed. You can go, check them out. Please do, be a completist.

and don't worry, we'll be keeping the feed warm with some bits and bobs for you to listen to. My co-host and producer is Amory Siebertson. I'm senior producer and host Ben Brock Johnson. I'll let myself out. I'll be back. Seriously, I will. I'm definitely going to return. I will return to here. If by that, I mean, I will be back.

I'll be back. I'll be back.