Endless Thread - Where Are They Now (Updates!)

Episode Date: January 2, 2020

Ben and Amory get updates from a few previous guests. Then, they invite the hosts of the podcast "Food, We Need To Talk" into the studio for a final debrief on their 2019 New Year's resolutions.

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Produced by the I-Lap at WBUR, Boston. Emery, it is January. What up? What up? What is up indeed? Great question and relevant to today's episode, which is called updates. While we all dig out of the holiday hangover, email mountain, candy cane, coma, we wanted to update you on some of listeners' favorite past E.T. episodes that featured people who were going through some stuff.

Also, we're going to update you on our stuff, specifically our 2019 New Year's resolutions, which is going to be awkward. Only if we make it awkward. And we will. But first, you might remember an episode of ours from just about exactly a year ago called Cupcake. It was about a couple experimenting with non-monogamy. And we asked them how it's going. They're about a year into the experiment. And you'll hear them refer to it now as E-N-M or ethical non-monogamy.

This is Chris. And Kim. And here we are about a year later. And we are still actively, ethically non-monogamous. So far, it's been going great for us. I've got a friend, basically my cupcake, and I've been seeing her for a little bit more than a year now, and she's a divorced erotic author.

I was seeing someone for about a year and decided to take a break to focus on my work and home life. So something had to give, so I stopped. Yeah. And at the end of the last interview, Kim and I were basically testing the waters in terms of meeting up with another couple. and we did have some success, but we found the complexities of such a relationship didn't really fit what we were looking for in our adventure. I did have some friends who listened to the interview, including one who wasn't particularly enamored with the idea of ethical non-monogamy, but after listening to our time with you, they understood our choices a bit better. I feel like Kim and I's relationship has been strengthened, especially over this last year.

This lifestyle has basically had to turn our communication level up to 200. We don't allow little problems to fester. And that's worked out considerably well for our relationship above and beyond the non-monogamous side. So that's about where things stand now. We're still active. We're still very happy. We're still communicating and we're still committed to each other. And I just wanted to say thank you again for this opportunity to share our story.

I'm very honored. Thank you very much for the time. Here's another update. It is from one of the first episodes we ever made on this show. This episode is called Kicking It. And it's about a guy named Alex who was posting on Reddit about what was back then a pretty fresh escape from a a heroin addiction. Alex is from close to Rochester, New York, and when we went there to talk to him, we learned that he had used Reddit to study and start to understand how to get clean.

The big question was, could he stay clean? So we got back in touch to ask that and some other questions. I don't even know where to begin. I have over two years clean. I started working on my master's degree, and I'll be done with that in May. I actually have a 4.0, which is surreal to me, but I'm really proud of that, so I brag about it a lot. Casey and I are still together. We're doing really, really well, and both of us will be finishing school at roughly the same time, so we're kind of just starting to plan our future. As for whether it's hard for me to stay off drugs, it's really not, but life is going well for me right now, and I think the true test for me is going to come when things aren't going so well. You know, death of a loved one, illness,

injury, disability, unemployment, whatever it may be, those will be the moments when my relapse prevention plan needs to kick in. So if something like that happened, I would immediately notify my rehab and start going in for weekly drug tests again. I would let the people around me know what was going on so they could keep an eye on me. I might have someone check my bank account a couple times a week. Even though I almost never have cravings anymore, I do still have triggers. And the only way I can think to describe that is in terms of maybe like a past relationship. Maybe you hear a song that you and your ex used to like, and it makes you incredibly uncomfortable and anxious to hear it again,

even though you have no desire to be back together with that person. So, yeah, I do still have triggers in that way, mostly music and certain events or locations, but the way I deal with it is by replacing those interests with different healthier interests. So instead of listening to music, I listen to podcasts and audiobooks almost constantly. And instead of going to the bar or a party to socialize, I play video games with my friends or something like that. It works great, and I'm much happier now than I ever was before. Ever since you guys did that first episode with me, I get a lot of emails from people who are stuck in addiction.

and don't even know where to begin getting help. The best thing to do is to contact a reputable rehab facility or just talk to a doctor that you trust. They can offer medications to help you with cravings or withdrawal symptoms, and they can even help you pay for it or maybe even get you your treatment for free. But you have to start by taking that first step of asking for help from the medical community because addiction really is a disease.

It's not a moral failure, and you shouldn't be ashamed or afraid to seek help like I was. Even though getting clean might be the hardest thing you ever do, it is genuinely very worth it. Anything is possible. Coming up, some updates of our own with the help of some special guests. Back in a minute. At Radio Lab, we love nothing more than

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to get you the answers. And hopefully make you see the world anew. Radio Lab, Adventures on the Edge of what we think we know. Wherever you get your podcast. There is something powerful about the, sound of the human voice. Beautifully produced audio has the unique power to connect and inspire. Tell your organization's story with a custom podcast from City Space Productions, the Creative Studio from WBUR's business partnerships team. Become a thought leader. Recruit new talent, reach new audiences,

whatever your goal, we can help. Discover how the magic is made at WBUR.org slash creative studio. So with us in the studio today, we have two extra people. Right on. Knock right in. Why don't you guys introduce yourselves, Yuna, Eddie? Tell us about yourselves. So my name is Yuna Jada, I'm 24. And I graduated college two years ago.

Congrats. And I am here with Dr. Eddie Phillips. You want to introduce yourself? Sure. So I'm Eddie Phillips. I'm a by training a physi. a diatrist, a rehab physician. Okay.

And this is an amazing opportunity to do what I do with patients, which has helped them change their lives. Rather than working one-on-one, what a chance to talk to thousands of people all at once to help guide them towards healthier living. Eddie, they don't know what you're talking about. So we are the co-host of a new podcast from WBR called Food, We Need to Talk. And that's why we're here today. What is the show about?

What are you guys doing? So basically, this is a show that came about from a very frustrating experience that I feel like I've had for the past, I don't know, maybe 10 years of my life, but probably a lot of people have had, which is that you go on a diet to try to get your body to look the way you want it to look. And for some reason, it doesn't work. And every year, when the New York comes, you're like, I'm going to get serious this year and I'm really going to do it. And you really try hard. And it always ends up backfiring. And I was like, what's the deal? Why do diets not work? What do people actually need to do? And that's where Eddie comes in.

So I'm supposed to be the wise guide. Make sure you get the duh on that. Who helps you to sort of unpack and apply the science. And when questions come up like, what do you eat? Should I take supplements? What's a food addiction? What's the stress doing to me? We call in all sorts of experts.

If you guys need a donut expert, I'll give you my number. We can call Ben. We're going to do that episode. Good. We will let you know. We were looking for one of those, actually. How is this show going to be different from other sort of dieting, self-improvement, food podcasts out there? I feel like I'm the expert on dieting materials, I should say.

I just thought there must be a way to crack this. Like, in school, if you work harder, you get a better grade. So I thought in dieting, if you diet harder, you do better. And it just didn't end up working that way. And so the way this show is supposed to be different is that I wanted it to really get to the root of the problem, which isn't that people don't have the right information, although sometimes they don't. But it's also that when we do have the right information, why is it so hard to apply? Like, why is change so difficult to make?

And it's kind of trying to crack the psychological part of how can we make the changes we want to make. Eddie, what do you think the biggest mistake that people make is? So people think that when I lose the weight, I'm going to be happier. But it turns out the science shows and clinical experience. That's true. If you are happier first, then the weight will come off. And maybe let's just skip talking about the weight and talk about our relationship with food. And just get to a healthier place with that.

That would make us much more satisfied. Emery, I think it's time for us to give a little quick update about our journey over the last year and maybe get some reaction from Una and Eddie. Sounds good. Okay. So you're just waking up and doing the backstroke for two hours every morning now, right? For anyone who needs a refresher, I said 2019 was going to be the year that I learned how to swim. Because I have the kind of mindset that if there is something that I can't do, I want to figure it out.

I want to conquer it. And swimming was the thing that I could not do. And I'm sorry to inform you that it is. How many times have you been in the pool? Oh my goodness. In 2019, I went in the pool once. Oh, my God. I was expecting like seven or something.

I know. Just the one. Just the one time. But I have to say, the woman, she was actually a reddeter. I found her on Reddit. The woman Leah, who gave me the swim lesson, was fantastic. I came away from that really feeling like, this is great. I don't have to get in the pool and, you know, swim laps and do the first.

front stroke, backstroke, butterfly, all of that. I can get in the pool with a kickboard. Like once a year and I'll be fine. Once a year. No, what I really, I really did actually feel empowered to get in the pool and practice. And then I just didn't. And I've been trying to really, I'm a doer. So I've been trying to really wrap my head around why I didn't do it.

And I think it's just because there are a lot of other forms of exercise that I love. And so it's not that I did zero exercise. because I wasn't swimming. I was running. I do bar. I finally got to teach, started teaching bar this year. And that's something that I'm really proud of. Just not in the pool. I did not. I didn't get in the pool. So I've, I've kind of made my peace with my failure right now. I'm not in, I'm not ready to like beat myself up for not swimming when I did other things that I love that also made me happy. But the most important part, especially when it comes to exercise and stuff, is that you enjoy it because like I know I went to the gym for years and I would just. run on the treadmill because that's what I thought I had to do to burn calories. And it was like a punishment and it was miserable and I would never go consistently because I hated it. So I think if you really love other forms of exercise, there's no issue with not swimming.

You know what I mean? I want to hear about Operation Dad Bod to Radbaud. That's why I came here today. She's like enough with the swimming. Yes. Well, let's get down to why we're all here. As you can probably tell, I'm always. on the journey, still.

So I feel like I did much better than I did the year before, which is to say I go to the gym, I would say minimum of twice a week. Still with your dad? Still with my dad. I am doing, I think, a more intense workout regimen than I was doing before. So I'm doing more lifting. and I think on the eating end of things, I pretty much fell down

and didn't maintain the sort of stringent rules that I had originally wanted to keep to, but there are certain pieces of the regimen that I had designed for myself that I have stuck to and I feel good about that. So like I'm basically completely off white flour, white rice. I am also pretty, good about not eating after 10 p.m. That was one of the other things that I really wanted to stick to.

Drinking more water I think I've done better on in general. The other thing I'll say that I think I'm doing pretty well on is just a general awareness of what my last meal was. And that's always been big for me. So I'm much more conscious than I used to be about the context around the meal than I'm eating. And I think that that has helped me a lot. I haven't shed that much weight, but I have shed some weight, and I've moved some weight around. So I think I'm actually stronger physically. Your body composition is probably shifting. Yeah. Even if you have, so like if you've lost a little bit of weight, you also don't know how much muscle you've gained if you've been lifting more. So you might have lost way more fat and gained some muscle. And then maybe it doesn't look that different on the scale,

but it does look very different visually because muscle takes up a lot less space than fat. It doesn't look that much different visually. Ben? I don't want to hear this negativity. No, no, I know, I know. But I think, I do think I'm like my upper body is a lot stronger than it was. So I feel good about that. I've got patients that come in and they start off like you have.

And they say after a while, like, I haven't lost any weight. I'm losing my pants, though. And they show me that they've lost two, three, four inches around their waist. I have gone down a pants size. Okay, see? That's what we're talking about. Huge. I was 36 and now I'm 34. Well, you need to lead with that.

When we talk about Operation Dadbot to Radbaud, you say, oh, I've lost a pants size. All right. That's how you start. Yeah, all right. I will start with that. Listening to you, if they tweak your goals a little bit, this next year may be even more fulfilling. Maybe I'll hit Radbod. Or we'll keep on the journey at least.

Yeah. Guys, thanks a lot for coming by. Thank you so much. Thank you for having us. We had a great time. Okay, so I may not be Katie Ledecki yet. Yet. Here's the question, though. What is your new, new resolution? I'm going to go to yoga once a week.

I like it. What about you? My New Year's resolution is to make secret synthesizer music that's good enough that my wife won't just tell me it sounds like video game music. That's my goal. Okay, good luck. You'll play some for us someday, I hope. Yep. It'll be released in a video game.

Okay, that's it for us. Good luck. Happy January. Talk soon. Bye.