EntreLeadership - #119: John O'Leary—Living an Inspired Life

Episode Date: November 2, 2015

If you are ready to overcome your challenges and celebrate the joy of today and the possibility of tomorrow, you have found the right place. On this week’s podcast, John O’Leary shows you how to take life’s toughest tests and turn them into incredible growth. He’ll also share the key strategies you need to succeed in any environment. This is one of the most inspiring podcasts we’ve ever aired. If you want to lead a fuller, more significant life, this interview will start you down the right path. Don’t miss it. entreleadership.com/podcast Another great episode sponsored by our friends at Infusionsoft. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

helping business leaders grow themselves, their team, and their profits. This is the Entree Leadership podcast. Now here is your host, Ken Coleman. We're broadcasting from the Music City, and we're grateful for your download. Pretty important episode today, because we're going to talk about something that, honestly, we rarely talk about. This is a big community. As we travel around the country, and we get to meet many of you at our Entree

Leadership One Day events or our smart money events and the smart conference. It's a great privilege to meet our listeners. And yet it reminds me all the time that this is the digital space we live in. You consume this so many different ways, different times. It's an on-demand product. And our entire existence is predicated on helping you the small business, man and woman. That's what Entry leadership is about. We want to be a trusted guide.

And we talk about so many great topics on business all the time, but it occurred to me recently that you are, first and foremost, men and women, not businessmen and women. So if you're hurting today or you know someone that's hurting, this is a podcast that is a must listen. Julia Caesar once said, it is easier to find men who will volunteer to die than to find those who are willing to endure pain with pain.

I think he's right. In the midst of great pain, it's so easy to want to quit. So I think if we extrapolate from that, Julius Caesar, quote, the idea that there are more of us who are willing to quit than to persevere in the midst of pain. That's a sobering thought. So I'd say to you today, if you're in deep pain, if you're suffering, you know, suffering is not always physical. There's mental and emotional suffering. Life can really throw some tough stuff at us. And the natural reaction is to flee, to quit, which you're worth so very much. So our conversation today and our podcast today is focused on this idea of suffering and how do we endure the suffering?

How do we change our perspective in the midst of suffering? so that when we come out of suffering, because if you don't quit, you will. That we come out of suffering and come out of the tough times of life, whether it be in business or interpersonal lives, and sometimes in both of those spaces, at the same time. That when we come through it, we're stronger, we have a greater perspective, and we live to our full significance, and we affect those who know our story in a way that we never could have

without enduring the suffering. The story you're going to hear today is from John O'Leary. I will tell you plainly that I have not been impacted by a speaker or a talk in many, many years, like I have when John O'Leary came and spoke to our team here recently. I'm going to let him share his story. But John went through one of the most gruesome things that a human being can go through. And he came through it. he came through it with such a positive attitude.

Honestly, sometimes I just look at him when he's talking, and I've gotten to know him now, and I'm like, how in the world did he do it? He'll share that. He started speaking in 2007, three clients. Since then, he's partnered with over 1,200 corporations, nonprofits, every industry you can imagine, every state, multiple countries, on average 50,000 plus people at over 100 events a year. He's now speaking to his first book, On Fire,

The Seven Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life. He's coming out in March 2016. He recently was here to speak to our entire 500-plus member team and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Immediately I had to get myself together as we pulled him into the studio and this was a longer podcast but it's worth every second. So again, to those of you that, are in pain, you're suffering. This is for you. We believe in you. We know you can come through it.

Cast everything aside right now for these moments that you have committed to listen to this conversation and be inspired by John O'Leary. He has walked in the moccasins that you're in right now. John, it's January 17, 1987. How old are you at the time? Nine years old. Nine years old. And your life changes forever. What happened? Yeah, so Ken, about two weeks before that date, I saw some boys in my neighborhood playing with fire and gasoline. They were in sixth grade. I'm in fourth. I'm looking at them. They're my heroes. They have peach fuzz. I don't. And I'm thinking if they can do it, so can I. So on a Saturday morning with my dad gone at work. My mom's out with other siblings. The house is mine. I walked over to a can of gasoline, lit a piece of cardboard on fire, bent down next to it.

And the great plan was to pour a little bit of gasoline on top of that burning piece of paper. What happened? So what happened was, you know, this genius experiment starts to backfire quickly. First, the can of gasoline is five gallons. It's 42 pounds. That's too heavy for a man to pick up, let alone a nine-year-old boy. So I set the flame down on the concrete floor. I bare hugged this red container and began to very carefully tip it and pour it.

And before the fluid even comes out, Ken, the fumes. You know, in life, it's generally the invisible stuff that burns in. The fumes come out first. They grabs the flame, pulls it back in, creates this massive explosion, splits the cannon to, and launches me 20 feet against the far side of the garage. How badly were you burned? So, you know, not only was it the original explosion, then I'm covered in gasoline. I'm trapped in a garage and the entire garage.

No one's around you. No one's around yourself. That's right, by myself. Caught on fire and then remained on fire for the next couple minutes. I remember coming through the garage, opening up a door, but it was hard to get open. Came into my mom and dad's kitchen. Nobody's there. Ran through the family room.

No one's there. Came into the front hall, stood on top of a rug, and just started screaming. Totally forgot to stop, drop and roll, just screaming for a hero. I needed somebody else. So take us through you, run into the house. Take us through that scene. What happened in the next few minutes? Yeah, so I'm on top of this rug.

it's a weird experience as a kid. You're watching, I remember, orange stuff dancing before your eyes. And I wasn't even sure what it was. I wasn't in as much pain as knowing whatever was going on was wrong. Like when you really have a bad accident, maybe you fall off a bike as a kid, you're not even sure what hurts. You just know you're in trouble. So I remember thinking, gosh, something's wrong.

I'm screaming for help. There's orange flashes in front of me. It's coming from my own body. I didn't know it at the time. My brother Jim was downstairs sleeping in the basement. He hears the explosion, comes up the steps, see, his brother on fire, runs over to me, picks up a rug, and begins beating down the flames. Now, my brother, Jim, had never done anything nice for me before this day. So I was not expecting,

praying for a hero that he would be the one. And yet here comes his moment to change and to shine. He beats down the fire, takes him two minutes to do it, wraps me in the rug, carries me outside, throws me on the ground, rubs the flames out, and then runs back into the house and calls 911. How old was Jim? Jim was just 17. 17 years old, his 9-year-old brother, on fire. Yeah. So describe to the best of your ability, you show pictures of this gruesome injury and tragedy when you speak, but to our audience who can't see those pictures, give us just a snapshot of how badly you were burned and what you were facing. Right.

So the percentages can 100% burn, 87% third degree. And the way we figure out mortality today with burn care is they take the percentage of the body burns, they add age, and they have mortality. So in 2015, there is 109% likelihood of this patient who presents dying. There's no chance of surviving. And 30 years ago, there is just no chance. So it's a terrible burn. The little boy had been on fire for a couple minutes. It's devastating.

Gasoline was burning it even hotter. The flames just crushed this little body, pulled off all my clothes, all my skin. and essentially left me for dead. Your mom and dad, best as you can recount, when they discover this, take us to that moment where they see you the first time after this has happened. What was that? What was that like? Yeah, so I'm nine years old, and I want your listeners to go back to a time in their life when they were nine,

and they did something stupid because we've all done stupid things, made big mistakes in our business and our relationships in our life. I blew up the entire house, and I caused, this so I know I'm in trouble. So as a little boy laying there, I wasn't looking at my legs, my feet, my thighs, my tummy, my chest, my hands. I was sitting there with my eyes shut thinking, oh my gosh, my dad is going to kill me. My dad is going to kill me. And so that is my lone thought, the voice of fear. And then I hear my father's voice down the hall echoing down toward me. And the voice says, where is my boy, John? So now I'm thinking, I am in trouble.

dad has found out he's coming in to finish me off this nurse brings my dad back he pulls back the curtain walks on top of me points down i'm ready for it so i'm i'm ready my dad says to me john i have never been so proud of anybody my entire life and i love you so much i love you i love you so i remember getting as a child just shutting my eyes thinking oh my gosh nobody told my dad what happened. You know, he doesn't know. And then my next thought is, I wonder if I can get away with it. You know, can I pull this thing off? And so that's where my mentality was as a child, not fully understanding the power of love and a parent's love for a little one. It changed my life that day to experience that kind of love. Yeah, I love that you say that because my next question was going to be,

and I still want you to answer this, how important in those moments? You're clinging to life at this point yet you probably don't realize it, and you're afraid of your dad grounding you. for this mistake. And yet he says, I'm proud of you. How important to your survival, your recovery, and where are you at as a man today, do you think those few words were? It's a yes and answer. So it's not just my father's love.

That was transformative. But it would not have been lived out without the next part of the story, which is my mom's. So my dad loved me, but I still thought he didn't know. It's when my mom came in and she's a little. more stern, she walks over to me. And the first thing she said is, I love you. And now I realize, dang, I'm in trouble. Not from them, but from life. I realize I'm really in trouble here. So I look up at my mom and I say, Mama, am I going to die? Like, this is serious. Am I going to die? And when I asked, I expected her to say, baby, you're fine. You know, we're going to get you

a milkshake on the way home. And instead, she looks at me, she takes my right hand in hers, pats my bald head and she says, do you want to die? Your choice, John, not mine. So my mother is either the most miserable, cold-hearted lady around, or she's extraordinary. And I think it's the second piece. She's love-based, demands accountability. I looked up at my mom, and I said, Mama, I do not want to die. And her response was, think good. Baby, look at me.

Take the hand of God, walk the journey with him, but you fight like you have never fought before. And on that morning, to your question, we determined that the fight was on. My mom, my dad, the little patient, the little boy, we were going to fight like we'd never fought before and we knew the outcome ahead of time. We didn't know the journey. We didn't know what skin grass were, amputations. What we knew, though, the fight was on. From your dad's words to your mom's words, to the realization in your head and heart that you're going to fight. Take us through in the next few minutes.

I want you to give us a snapshot of how long it took. And what was the recovery, the treatment process? What was that like? So it's a long journey, and it's not just in the hospital to be on that. But the treatment begins with wrapping the body, keeping it safe from infection, taking them upstairs, starting the trache because his lungs have been burned, starting IVs because the liquid is just coursing out of them, doing all these types of procedures just to keep them alive for a moment. But then at some point they got to figure out, how do we get new skin on this boy? How do we patch them back together? Normally with a burn victim, it's called a donor site.

They take skin from your backside or your chest, and they put it on the part of your body that's been burned third degree. But in my case, it's all been burned third degree, except for my face and scalp primarily. And so 13 times over the next five months, they would take skin from my scalp. They would waffle this thing out to triple it in size and then patch me back together.

So that's a long process. The bandage changes every morning. There's amputations involved. It's a difficult recovery. There's physical and occupational therapy. every day that's grueling. And then once you graduate, go home, it goes on. There's still surgeries. There's still procedures. There's still therapy. And it goes on for a couple years. It's very taxing. And there's no way in the world that I or anyone could do it by ourselves.

We need a great support system. We need great family members. We need a great team. We need a great God. And I was lucky enough to have it all working perfectly in harmony, guiding this little boy through a very difficult process. And John, that's what's so encouraging about your story is the team. And so I want you to talk about the hospital team because we've heard, you know, your parents were extraordinary through this, your brother and that whole situation. But I want you to delineate the different people that walked with you in those early days that got you to recover and eventually walk again and become the great man you are.

Talk about those team members. Yeah. So the team is so diverse. It's not just health care. That's part of it, but it's the volunteers who donated blood that day. It's the people who met up at church and said, Denny, my father, whatever you need financially, it's on us. There was a family in our community with five kids that moved out of their house into our Howard Johnson's, one bedroom, so that my mom and dad and the siblings could live together as a family while their little son recovered. So it's the entire community.

The health care team, though, was critical kin. without the doctor, without the custodian, without the supervisors, without the dietitians, without the therapist, the recovery doesn't take. And so it took an entire village doing perfectly their work to nurse and guide this little boy through a difficult time and then into full recovery. You just spoke to our team, 500 strong, and I'll try to ask the question and not get emotional, but I want you to talk about the janitor. That just touched my soul, and it just speaks so much to your greater message. So the custodian, every morning, any of your listeners, and that's everybody, anybody who has

been in the hospital know that early in the morning the doctor's round. And generally what they do is they talk about you. They may glance at your chart. They may pat your head once and then they leave. I was lucky enough, fortunate enough, and blessed enough to have this incredible doctor named Vachievajan who would tour the rooms and sit down on the bed, look into your eye, and just ask how you're really doing. and really break it down into how are you really doing?

And then he would guide the entire team through this process so that everybody understood the role that they were playing to keep this little boy alive. Other doctors, other nurses, everybody. And the man you're referring to specifically was a gentleman named Lavelle. He is our custodian. He's a janitor. He's a minimum wage employee.

He's the least among us, literally in some regards. And yet in burn care, the number one killer of burn victims is infection. But by far, that's what kills in patients in hospital, infection typically. Doctors don't control it, Ken. Nurses not so much. The most important person on the team is the janitor. They're the ones who wipe this room clean and take their job seriously, or they don't, and it makes a profound impact on the work they do and the lives they impact positively or negatively. So every morning this doctor would bring in Lavel, sit him on my bedside and say to him, Lavel, look at this little boy. So the janitor looks at me. And then the doctor would

say, Lavelle, you, you are keeping him alive. That's your work. And then he would say, thank you, thank you. And this great doctor would do it not only for other physicians, not only for janitors, but for the entire team to remind them of their work and the value of it because the doctor is not bright enough to do it by himself. And a janitor can't clean good enough to do it by himself. And a nurse isn't sharp enough to take care of the patient by herself. It takes the entire village and this great leader and made sure everybody understood their purpose, their work. That's such a wonderful illustration of your doctor leading, but then leading to the most important part of every team member, and that is they want to feel a role of significance.

And as you outlined in your powerful talk this morning, the idea that we don't know Lavelle's personal story. We know he had to probably hop on a bus and come to a minimum wage job and mop floors and clean up messes, and yet in this moment, a leader is showing him how very significant his role is. That speaks to our significance. How do leaders truly grasp this and make sure their teammates understand their significance? Right. So when I was speaking to your folks, 500 strong, my question to them was, was it money that motivated the janitor? And everyone said, well, minimum wage, probably not. Was that money that motivated the CNAs who were about minimum wage? Or money is that motivated really

at the end of the day, anybody, because once you read a certain level of success, it's not money. It's just not money anymore. What this doctor spoke into is what ultimately motivates all of us and its purpose, its mission, its passion, it's cause greater than self. There's a quote from Victor Frankel. It's my favorite quote, I think. Frankl survives the Holocaust. In his book, Mancertramening, this quote shows up.

The quote is, when you know your why, you can endure anyhow. Okay. Pause. All right, listeners. I do this a lot. This is where you listen to John very clearly. Write this down. Tweet it. Facebook. I don't care what you do with it. This is absolutely huge. John, give us that one more time. And I want to make sure it's preface not just for business leaders and entrepreneurs, but for parents, daughters, sons. You're starting a workout plan, whatever. It doesn't matter. The quote is, when you know your why, and I always underline why.

You can endure anyhow. And frequently can, and we all know this. We focus on the how. How many calories? How am I going to quit smoking? How am I going to start saving? How am I going to be a better leader? How do I make more money? How do I get up early?

And those things need to be addressed at some point. And yet at the end of the day, none of them will be achieved if it's not led forward first by the why. The mission needs to proceed the execution, always. I want to stay here, but go back to your story because we don't have enough time to tell the entire story. But at what point in your recovery and as a young man, I mean, you're a boy at this point. Do you figure out your why? I'm still figuring it out as a little boy with gray hair sitting in front of you today. So I'm still figuring out my why.

And I'll share my current why with you later on. As a little boy, my why was to celebrate the gifts that showed up in front of me each day. I can't tell you how important it was to have a mother and father by my side, to have siblings that would come by and visit and encourage, to have a doctor who loved on me the way you heard Dr. Avajan support me. Then we'd have visitors. We had announcers for the St. Louis Cardinals. We had ball players from the Cardinals.

We had football players, hockey, the entire village of St. Louis starts to show up. Then we receive a letter from a guy named Ronald Reagan, who's busy in the White House, but never too busy to encourage a little boy. Then we receive a note from the Vatican. Pope John Paul says, hey, I just wanted to let you know we're praying for you. There are trees being planted in Israel on behalf of this little boy and his family. And when you get packages and boxes of notes saying, hey, we're thinking about you. That's inspiration.

And that allows you to take the next breath and take the next step and move forward boldly into life. So as a little boy, that was my why. What might come tomorrow? Who might show up? What might I read? It's very exciting. It's enough for a child. I think in life, though, as we grow up, we need a bigger why.

We need to stretch yourselves a little bit. My why today, if you ask me why I speak, why I write, why I parent, why I hit church on Sundays and try to live it throughout the week, why I do the stuff of life. My why is very clear because my life is hard. It's physically time-wise, but my why is clear. It allows me to run over the hard part. My why is when you know your why, you can endure any house. Why will you thrive?

I will thrive because, and here it is. God demands it, my family deserves it, and the world is starred for it. And that turns me on. Well, John, why do you try to be a great motivational speaker? Well, let me tell you, because God demands it, family deserves it the world to start for it. Why do you try to be a great daddy or four babies? Easy. God demands it, family deserves it the world to start for it.

So each day in every interaction, all day long, that is in front of me. It weighs in my heart. It pulls me forward and it launches me into engaging in life again. It strikes me that in your reason for thriving, the word I, me, doesn't show up at all. And I think we forget that sometimes when we're facing our problems, very, very personal. But then you turn it. And one other thing I want to stay on because you said something so beautiful in that answer that those different notes from Pope John Paul, from Ronald.

Reagan from a famous baseball announcer, which I want to talk about as well, showing up in your hospital room, that was enough for the little boy. And we can't forget as leaders how important the out of boys and atta girls are. Sometimes it's just enough. It's just enough. And I think oftentimes the leaders listening to this podcast may forget what a pat on the back does for a busy way down team member. And from a guy, from a gal who is already super busy for us to slow down for 30 seconds, sit down and say, what's going on at home? Or great job on that presentation. I don't know if I tell you enough how much your work matters around here. It really does encourage, lift up, and inspire people to do their best work. It takes us no time. It's the right thing and it's

transformative in their life, then in our lives and then in our business. So those are the short brushes of encouragement. The intentional brushes of encouragement are so well illustrated by the story of Jack Buck in your life. Now, if you're not a baseball, fan, you can Google Jack Buck, but a legendary baseball play-by-playman for years was the voice of the St. Louis Cardinals, his son now is Joe Buck of Fox Sports fame. How does Joe, excuse me, how does Jack Buck enter into Little John O'Leary's life? Perfect. And I want to talk about Jack, and then I'd love to Ken share how he found out, because I think the second story may be even better than the first. But Jack Buck enters into my life on the second day or so after I was burned. In that situation,

you asked about what's that recovery like well gosh here's a pretty real example you are mummified you're laying in bed you're tied down to the bed your arms and your legs you have a trache so you can't talk you can't breathe on your own you can't eat or drink you can't communicate and your eyes are swollen shut so you can't do anything but you feel it all you experience it and you can't share with anybody else what you're going through it's really a difficult dark place and then into this very tough time comes the voice of my childhood i'm a cardinal fan st louis cardinal fan i love baseball and the voice of my childhood was Jack Bach. He brought us baseball games

and night after night into our bedrooms. Great voice, great team. He's my hero. Get burned on a Saturday the following afternoon. I'm laying in bed and I hear the door open up. I can't look to see who's coming, but I hear footsteps,

a chair gets pulled across the floor, and then I hear a voice. I immediately recognize the voice of my childhood, the voice of the St. Louis Cardinals. It's not on the radio. It's on my bedroom. It's sitting right next to me, and the voice encourages me by saying, kid, kid, wake up.

You are going to live. You are going to survive. And when you get out of here, we are going to celebrate. We'll call it John O'Leary Day at the ballpark. Did you believe him at first? My first thought was, wait until my freaking friends hear about this. Of course. Yeah, Jack Buck's sitting on my bed.

The guy on the radio, man, is in my bedroom. The old guy with a white hair and that beautiful voice is talking to me. Not on the radio, but me. It made me feel priceless. And yet, I believed him right away, but to your point, I believed him even more when he showed up the following day. Hello. And I thank some of our listeners. When I speak, I always talk to myself first.

I need to follow my own advice. He shows up the following day, even though he was told the day before by the nursing staff the boy would not survive. So he gets the bad news, the kid's not going to make it. What does a busy announcer do? Well, what he does is he asks the question, what more can I do? And he comes back to the hospital and he shows up and he serves again. He walks into the room, sits down again, pulls a chair up close and says, kid, wake up, I'm back. You are going to live.

You are going to survive. And when you get out of here, we're going to celebrate. We'll call it John O'Leary at the ballpark. Keep fighting. See you soon. And those visits and that encouragement can continue for the next five. months, this man shepherding a little boy, a little nobody through a very difficult time, through the hospitalization, back to homecoming.

Would you share the story of the baseball? Over that five months gave you more motivation than just showing up. He actually challenged you. So he brings me down to John Allurey Day at the ballpark. He kept the promise in that night broadcasting the ball game together. He learns that the little boy can't get out of the wheelchair, can't really move much, can't hold his own drinks, can't do a thing. So he takes it home.

The good and the bad always plays one. All of us leaders need to remember that. The market might be down. What an awesome opportunity. Viewed through the right lens. The good and the bad play is one. Jack takes home the good and the bad. Ask the question, what more can I do?

The following day, I get a baseball in the mail signed by Ozzie Smith. Some of your followers may know Ozzie. A hall of the greatest short stops to ever play the game. Exactly. Great hero also in St. Louis. My childhood hero. Ozzie signs a ball. Below the ball is a note that says,

kid if you want a second baseball. All you have to do is send a thank you letter to the man who signed the first. I am pretty confident at this place in my life that Jack knew I could not write. And for our audience, your fingers were burned basically off. I'm looking at your hands right now, and essentially they're basically burned off. That's exactly right. Very little grasp, no ability to hold a drink, certainly no ability to write. But I wanted that pen.

And it brings us back to the quote that everybody just wrote down and everybody tweeted out, I hope. when you know your why, you can endure anyhow. My mom and dad had been begging me for a long time to write, or at least try, John. And what they would say is, baby, when you learn how to ride again, you get to go back to school. And for a nine-year-old Missouri kid, that is not motivation. It may be the opposite of motivation. Jack leads me where I am. This is really key for leaders.

He came all the way down to where a little boy's mindset might be, which was not great school and university and success. Baseball. that's my why put my why in front of me and get out of the way so he does this I write the note first time hands are pushed together mail it off and about two days later I get a second baseball with a second note kin that says

kid if you want a third baseball all you have to do is write a thank you letter and now it's on this process continues unbelievably for the five months that follow and the man would send me that summer and through the fall over 60 baseballs 60. Teaching nobody.

Again, a little nine-year-old washed-up kid in a wheelchair, how to write. Change my life. One leader can do this for another if they serve, if they meet them where they are. Another huge character in your story, who was a part of the amazing team that helped you recover, is a guy by the name of Nurse Roy. When you share the story, we just know him as Nurse Roy. Describe Nurse Roy and then his interaction with you on a day-to-day basis. So the best way to describe Nurse Roy is to have your followers think back to Rocky Boboa. Who's, who's Rocky's opponent?

Do you remember? Oh, man, Apollo Creed. Big, mean Apollo Creed, baby. The champ, baby. So the champ is Roy's twin. He's a big, tough, athletic, African-American gentleman, tall on a brick. And every morning this man, the champ, Nurse Roy would walk into my room. He would unhook me from the bed.

He would pick me up into his big, beautiful arms. and he would drag me back to where the bandage change. And on the walk back, and your listeners need to understand, my body's all burnt up. I don't have skin on my legs. I don't have muscles at that point of my legs. I can't do a thing. He knows this, and he knows it's causing great physical pain, but he also has a reason for it.

What he would say to me on that walk is, boy, you are going to walk again, and I'll walk with you. Move those legs because today you walk, today you walk. and the first time Roy came into my room, Ken, unhooked me from the bed, dragged me to that bandage change and said those words, I hated them because I knew I was never,

ever, ever going to walk again. I've seen my legs. They burned terribly. I'll never walk, Roy. And the following day, I'm laying in bed, and the door opens up, and it's Nurse Roy, Apollo Creed, the champ, comes back over to me,

unhooks me one more time, gets me back on my feet, and then he says these words. Boy, you are going to walk again, and I'll walk. with you, move those legs. And this goes on for the five months I'm in hospital. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them for months. I hate this man.

And then maybe three, four months in, something triggers one day. He's walking me back and I realize, dang, he's right. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow. Maybe weeks or months. But someday I will regain strength. I will recover. I will walk. Today, as you know, I stand. I walk. I dance. I run. I love life. And I credit that great man, that great leadership, that great vision on providing me the vision for what's possible in my own life. I think clearly Nurse Roy knew his why. It allowed him to do things so much bigger than himself. Fast forward many, many years. You are speaking on behalf of the Alabama storm victims. It was 2011 that tornadoes came in and literally destroyed large swaths of the state.

That's right. And so you're out there encouraging people who've lost everything. And I want you to take us to this moment, a little ceremony, if you will, with the Alabama Power Executive. Take us to that. So the storm cell was in 2011, as you mentioned. It dropped 1,000 miles of F4 damage through the state. Just blew it down. And businesses, lives, families, destroyed forever. And it was my great opportunity and gift to kind of come around sponsored by the Alabama Power Company and encourage these folks who had lost everything. And on the final day, it's almost a month long. one of the leaders from Alabama Power Company comes to the microphone, pulls me back up on stage, looks at me and says, fella,

all summer long, you have been shining light into our darkness. And we wanted to reflect a little bit of light back your way. I said, okay? He said, fellow, you had a nurse

who did great work for you. And I said, man, I had a lot of great nurses. A lot of them. They were all good. And he said, yeah, that's true, but you had one in particular.

a large African-American man. And then he asked, what was his name? And I said, his name was Nurse Roy. And in front of all these big, tough linemen in the community, he says, what was it that that big man used to say to you? And my response was, he used to say, boy, you're going to walk again. I'll walk with you. And this line, man, this big leader, he says to me,

that is not what he would say. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. I bet you what he would say would sound more like this. And there's silence for a while. Then I hear a microphone pop on above me. And the microphone burst out this voice. Boy, boy, you are walking again.

And I am proud to walk with you. And then Ken, they pull back this curtain and outsteps Apollo Creed the champ in his new name, Nurse Roy, have not seen this man in 27 years. Not seen him in 27 years. Never went back to visit him. when you leave a hospital like a burned little boy, it's like leaving a prison. You don't go back to thank the warden.

You don't go back, man. I never went back. I get to see this man who had such a profound impact on my life and a guy who I get to celebrate all around the country, all around the world today, the impact of his life, the impact of one life on one other person. And we all have that opportunity. They brought us back together.

We had dinner together that night, Ken. They paid a private investigator to find him. It took the guy three weeks. Wow. Dog the Bonnie Hunter, as you know, would have had him in 20, four minutes and sold some Chevys while he's at it. That's right. It takes this guy three weeks to find him. They find him in St. Louis. They fly

him down. They bring us back together. And Royce shares with me a couple of things that just blew me away. The first was, John, it shocks me that you did something with your life. And at first, I'm not sure. Is that a compliment kin or is it an insult? Man, what's really going on here? But I think with anybody who's been through a real fire in life, whatever that fire in bankruptcy. It's a good example. Divorce. A loss of a dear one.

Whatever the fires might be. It's easy to give up on life and easy to give up on our goals and easy to say, I got to settle for second best now. It's rare, I think, to see someone thrive through it. That's right. So Roy was proud. And I said, man, thank you. That means a lot. And then he says, what surprises me more is how beautiful your wife is, which I'm still not sure was a compliment, but I said, thank you, Roy.

And then he said, but what surprises me the most? And I said, man, I don't want to hear what surprises you the most. You've done enough damage. But he said, I'm going to tell you anyway, John. He said, what surprises me the most is to learn after 27 years that my work mattered. And I think whether we are doing podcasts, whether we are speaking, whether we are sweeping floors, changing bandages, switching our flat tires, I don't care our work on this podcast. It is an awesome reminder that our work, our relationships, our quick passes of folks in the hallway matter, and they matter profoundly, and they matter forever. It's a really big deal.

And what we get to choose, like Nurse Roy, is to choose to drop positive ripples into the water, to choose the impact that we'll have through the way we show up and through the way we impact. When you shared that story this morning, I immediately thought, I don't know who I'm happier for in this story. Am I happier for John who gets to meet this hero after all these years who literally helped save his life? Or am I happier for Nurse Roy, who finally realizes that he mattered? It's kind of half sad, half happy. And that's an important distinction. Talk about the fact that we need to pursue what we do with excellence, but also with a great attitude. Nurse Roy did the best he could do professionally for you, but it is what he did for you personally that may have been equally as important.

I think the attitude matters and I think trusting that it matters profoundly for our work, for our team. for our lives, that's a big deal, but maybe most importantly for others. And I'm a big fan of Zig Ziglar. There is no doubt that the more we invest in others, the more success, whatever that word means for all of your followers today means, it will come back into your life. There's just no doubt about it. The great Zigler quote you're referring to is if you help other people get what they want in life, you'll get what you want.

Exactly right. And maybe you ought to say that one again because that's a tweetable moment. This is worth repeating and living. Yeah. If you help other people get what they want, you get what you want. And I just think of the leadership example here of Nurse Roy and you reuniting. And what did it mean to you? Because we glossed over that moment where he walks out on the stage.

We went right to dinner. But for you, 27 years later, this man walks out. What overcame you at that point? What were the emotions? I have a fairly sharp memory. I remember the fire. I remember Jack Buck's visit. I remember the first time I saw my wife.

I remember holding my baby for the first time. I remember things, some things very vividly. And that is one of those moments that lives and will never be forgotten by me. When first and your listeners don't know this, my dad has Parkinson's disease. He can't walk. He doesn't travel well. The first thing this company does is they fly my mom and dad down. And I look at them, I see ghosts.

I mean, what are they doing? And you fall out, Alabama. Go back home, Mom and Daddy. I mean, this is hard. How are you doing this? How'd you get down here? So I have all these thoughts going through my mind. and the leader from Alabama power hands me flowers and he says,

give these to your mama. So I'm speechless already. I handed to my mom. I cry a little bit with my mom and dad. I was not expecting that. And then he says, you know, you ask a question, John,

what more can you do? And it's something you've got to be careful when you ask a Southern fellow, what more can we do? Because we can do a lot down here in Alabama. He said, you had that man and he goes through the story of Nurse Rowan, I'm already overwhelmed because my mom and dad are at my side. When they went through that story,

and I sense near the end where they were, going and then they pull back that curtain and I see a man who has not aged in 27 year Apollo Creed the champ has not aged he walks out he's still a brick he's got tears in his eyes he gives me this big fat bear hug and just lifts me up there aren't words for it but I'll never forget it and I'll always be grateful for it boy you will walk again powerful statement from Nurse Roy but to me it's the five other words that he added, and I'll walk with you. That's right. How do leaders take that and lead better? I think it's important to remember both lines. Cast the vision. That's important. The vision's

almost worthless without walking with folks that are going to help you achieve it. I think very frequently we leaders know our goals financially. We know our goals for the bottom line. We know our goals for employee headcount. We know what we're trying to achieve. And yet frequently, we don't know what the goals are, the men and women, the children in our lives, our aging parents, what their goals are that most allow us to achieve our goals. And so I would encourage folks to take the time not only to identify their goals and their strategies to achieve it, but then spend the painful, necessary time to uncover what the goals and the dreams are the men and women that we get to serve with. I'll walk with you. They're not on their own. These are powerful words for a burn nurse,

absolutely. And they are extremely important for all of us in leadership as we got our kids for it, or aging parents for it, and everybody in our teams forward. We'll walk with them. What a gift to be able secretly to serve and walk with people in their life. I think a challenge for all of us today, and so I'll ask you to ask yourself this question, who do you need to walk up to today and say, I'll walk with you? I think we need to be looking for those opportunities. John, I want you to share the three questions that you share to our audience today. Powerful questions for those who life is hitting them right now and they just feel like they're getting crushed. And it's normal to ask these questions with the wrong perspective.

And you showed us how to ask them with the right perspective. That's right. Will you reveal those three questions and then I want to walk through each of them? Absolutely. You know, I think when we're having bad days at work or the traffic built up on us this morning or we get a call that we need to pick up our kids from school, they're sick, whatever the challenge is, there are generally three questions we ask ourselves. There's more, but it starts with these three. The first, and listeners, yell it out in your cars right now. What's our first victim's question? Why me?

Oh, man, dang the luck. Me again. Here we go. Me again. Why me? The second question is we kind of go through the day and our hearts get a little colder. Well, you know what? Who cares?

We just kind of become a little bit more different to our nagging spouse, our pain in the neck kids, our aging parents, our financial woes, the struggle's going on at work. Just hold clam up, man. Cross your arms tight. Ask the question, who cares? And the third question is we go toward the end of the day is, well, geez, what's the point? And that's a really dangerous question. What's the point?

Because this can lead to a very bad decision. What's the point? So what I'd like your followers to do, Ken, is to ask three completely different questions. I think these are life-taking the three I'd like to put forward our life-giving. Different questions. So they may want to write these down. The first one, and I think this is the way to kick off every morning. Why me?

man why do I get to work why do I get to see light why do I get to hear sound what do I get to smell many of your followers why do I get to live in one of the freest countries in the history of mankind how frequently do we race into our day unfocus on the gifts that have allowed us to come to this place in our life so I encourage folks to begin the day prayerfully reflectfully with a journal why me man dang I'm lucky then there's another question as we uncross our arms open up our hearts who cares? Who cares if it's hard? Who cares if there's traffic? Who cares if there's change? Who cares if she's sometimes tougher? He's sometimes difficult. Who cares if life is challenging. It's worth it and it's worth fighting for. So who cares? It's a great question actually. Ask from the right lens.

And the third is what's the point? And this leads us to our mission. This leads us back to our why. And this leads to a cause always greater than self. There's a book called Change or Die. I'll give you the cliff notes right now. Change is hard. Who knew? Yeah, change is hard. And Diet finances work. Change is hard. Three things allow us to make change. Change must be radical. Radical.

Not easy, in other words. It's radical. It's a completely different diet program than you're on. It's living life like no one else. It's different. It's hard. First, it must be radical. Second, we can't do it by ourselves.

You're not alone. Well, maybe we ought to stop acting like it. We need others. We need to encourage. We need to be encouraged. And the third is it's got to be mission-centered. We can't make any great change in life for us, not for our pocketbook,

not for our waistline if it ends there. We can make massive change, though, if it's about a cause, if it's about others, if it's about mission. And I think these three questions allow us to first start off on ourselves, but then allow us to spend the rest of the day thinking and working diligently for others. So there it is. Why me? Who cares?

What's the point? And final word from you, I want to tee you up. Because when you revealed those questions to us, you made a distinction. You said, when we asked those questions, why me, who cares, what's the point? You said we need to ask those not as victims, but as victors. Wow. Encourage leaders on that thought. I think it's really important to understand that every challenge is an opportunity.

We talked very briefly about market conditions today. As of today, markets are down everywhere. One way to view that is, oh, my gosh, why am I? There it goes. Why me? The alternative is to say, why me? What does this mean? What are the gifts of my life?

How fortunate am I that I was able to save in the first place? Geez, what a gift. It allows us to take a completely different lens into our work. That's awesome. Into our relationships. That's huge. Into our life. That allows us to see the same life that everybody else sees from a different perspective,

which allows us to embrace a different lesson and take a different step forward. It's every challenge, every tragedy, every fire presents within it also the gift of opportunity. Always. Not sometimes. Not just for positive people. Always in every interaction. And as victors, as leaders, and that's all your followers. We get to choose stop showing up as victims and start showing up as a victor.

To most people, little John O'Leary was a victim of a horrific tragedy. To far fewer people, you were a victor and you just had to stay the course. Buddy, you touch us. We love you so much, man. What you're doing is so encouraging. Real quick, tell our audience how they can follow you and stay in touch with what you're doing. Got a book coming out next year. We'll have you back to talk about that.

But real quick, how can we stay in touch with you? So the best way is just my website. And from there, we can do email, Facebook, social media of any type. My website is Rising Above.com. And what I try to do with my followers is be very interactive. And I remind the folks today, 500 strong and your followers, thousands. If you ever need a thing, reach out. Go to rising above.com.

Rising Above.com. Email, Facebook, tweet me. Let me know what I can do and it's yours. I'm all in. I feel blessed every day to wake up and do what I do. and I love to serve other folks. He is John O'Leary, and he will encourage your heart all the time. Stay in touch with you.

John, thanks for being with us today, man. We're better for it, and we appreciate it. And thank you for your work and your heart. So what's your problem? Hard to make an excuse after hearing that. I have to listen to that over and over sometimes when I get so bent out of shape or I start feeling down in the mouth about something that didn't go my way. It's just ridiculous.

Some of our problems are bigger than others. I got to believe the John O'Leary's problems at the time. And honestly, he's moved through it, but the guy still has tremendous challenges. You ought to watch this guy eat with hardly any fingers. It's unbelievable. So what's your problem? Now, some of you who are listening to my voice right now have some really, really big problems. I am not in any way minimizing those.

But what I'm saying is you can power through this. We believe in you. And here's the big thing. This world needs you. don't you quit. Don't you be like the men that Julius Caesar is referring to. Don't quit. If you die in your business,

if you walk away from the field of battle, you're affecting more than just yourself. Stay in the game. You know, we want to hear your stories. By the way, you know, stories of overcoming great things. We want to hear those. We are asking for your stories. Here's why.

We simply believe that if we start sharing more of your stories, a victory, of failure, how you'll walk through failure, great pain, to succeed and to keep winning, we believe if we share your stories, the listener, with our huge audience,

a community of entre leaders, that your stories will inspire each other. So we want to hear them. Podcast at entreleadership.com. Podcast at entreleadership.com. That's where we want you to mail, excuse me to email us your stories. We want to share those. Beyond John O'Leary and thanking him for his story, I want to thank InfusionSoft, who helps us bring this podcast to you to tremendous partners in this

very worthy work. On behalf of our producer, Eric Anthony, and the entire Entree leadership team, we want to thank you for listening. We'll talk with you again very soon.