EntreLeadership - #343: Everything is Figureoutable with Marie Forleo

Episode Date: October 7, 2019

Thanks to her beloved mom Miriam, entrepreneur and bestselling author Marie Forleo grew up believing anything is possible—or as she likes to say, “figureoutable.” The problem, she says, is most of us don’t understand how powerful our beliefs are, which allows all kinds of things to get in the way of what we were born to do. Tune in to hear Marie explain the three rules of her super straightforward problem-solving process and how it can become the driving force of change in your own life.   entreleadership.com/podcast Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo Marie Forleo on Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations podcast Marie Forleo’s website Marie Forleo’s B-School Critical Thinking Cheat Sheet Review this episode for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card   Want expert help with your business question? Call 844-944-1070 and leave a message or send an email to [e-mail]. You could be featured on a future podcast episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all know that leadership is about casting a compelling vision and marshalling your resources to see it become reality. But what happens when the path becomes less clear? What happens when you appear to be swimming upstream? What happens when everything that can go wrong does? This is the Entree Leadership podcast from the Ramsey Network where we help business leaders grow themselves, their teams, and their profits. I'm your host Alex Judd, and today's guest has a profound answer to that universal question. When you feel stuck, trapped, and unable to move forward with the thing you care so deeply about, entrepreneur, speaker, and writer, Marie Forleo, says that there is only one option.

Figure it out. This is a message that she deeply believes because it is one that she has lived. And it all started with a woman named Merriam. So Miriam is this tiny but mighty woman. So to paint a picture, she's about 5'3, she looks like June Cleaver, and she cusses like a truck driver. She grew up the daughter of two alcoholic parents in the projects of Nork, New Jersey, and she really learned by necessity how to stretch a dollar bill around a block like five times. And she made herself a promise as a little girl that when she was old enough,

she would find a way to create a better life. And she did. And that woman named Miriam is my mom. And one of my fondest memories of my childhood was sitting around the kitchen table with my mom and cutting out coupons. So she loved to teach me all the different ways that our family could save money. That was really important. And one of the things she taught me about was that if you saved up what were known as the proofs of purchase, like the back of, you know, a cereal box, or if you always purchase the same dishwashing detergent, that you could save up those

little proofs of purchase and the brands would send you free things. They were called premiums back in the day. So you could get maybe like some cooking utensils or a recipe book. And one of my mom's most prize possessions was this tiny little orange transistor radio. It looked like an orange and it had a red and white straw sticking out of the top. And it was from Tropicana orange juice. And she got it for free. This thing was her favorite thing on the planet. So my mom is the kind of person who's like always busy, always doing something. And as a kid, I knew the way to find my mom somewhere around the yard or somewhere around the house was listening for the tinny little sound of that tropicana orange radio. And Alex, I remember one day coming home from school and I heard the radio

off in the distance. And as I got closer, the sound was coming up from above, which was a strange orientation. And I looked up and I see my tiny mom perched precariously on the roof. of our two-story house. What on earth? Like, as a kid, you're just like, mom, I was like, what are you doing on the roof? Are you okay? Again, my mom is such a unique character. She yells down, leans over.

She's like, Rhee, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. The roof had a leak in it. I called the roofer. He said it would be at least 500 bucks. I said, screw that. I looked in the garage. There was extra asphalt.

And I said, I'll fix it. So another day, I'm coming home from school. and I go in the house and I hear the little radio coming from the back of the house. And I listened and I followed it and I pushed open the door and it was the bathroom. And there my mom was sitting in the bathroom. There was like dust particles coming down. There's pipe sticking out of the wall. It looked like there had been an explosion in there.

And I was like, mom, are you okay? What are you doing? And she said, oh, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. She said, there was some cracks in the tile and I didn't want the bathroom to get moldy. So I'm retiling the bathroom. And I'm like, just confused. And Alex, you have to get, this is the 1980s.

This is pre-internet, pre-Utube. So she wasn't watching how-to videos on how to do this stuff. That's exactly right. So, like, again, this is like in a different time and a different error. So I always knew I could find my mom by listening for the sound of that radio. And one day, it was the fall time. And I was coming home from school. The daylight savings had passed.

It was dark out. It was creepy already. But when I got up to my house, it was quiet, like pin drop quiet, which is very strange for an Italian-American household. house was dark, I go inside, I hear nothing. I feel that pit in my stomach, the one that you get when you just know something is wrong, thinking, where is my mom and where's the sound of the radio? So I'm tiptoeing through the house and I hear some clicks and clacks. It's coming from the kitchen. I walk over there and I see my mom hunched over our kitchen table. It's a little light on. It looked like an operating room. In front of her was her beloved little tropicana orange in like 15 pieces. She had a screwdriver. an electrical tape. And I was like, oh, my goodness, mom, are you okay? What's going on?

That's your favorite radio. And she's like, oh, Ray, don't worry about it. She's like, you know, the antenna was a little twisted and the dial was off. I'm just fixing it. And Alex, this is the first time that I ever thought to ask. I said, hey, mom, how do you know how to do so many different things that you've never done before? But nobody's showing you how to do it. And she put down her screwdriver and she cocked her head to the side.

And she looked at me and she's like, what are you talking about, Ray? This isn't that big of a deal. Nothing in life is that complicated if you just set your mind to what. You roll up your sleeves. You get in there and you do it. Everything is figure outable. Now, Alex, truth be told, I don't know if those were her words or that's what my childhood ears heard. But that's what was absorbed in me. And it was like my DNA got shifted on a different level. And ever since that moment, that little phrase, everything is figure outable has been the single most powerful. driving force in my life from, you know, helping me get out of a toxic relationship when I was very young. It was an abusive relationship. Helping me get every single job I've ever had since I was nine years old, helping me get into college, to get work studies, to help pay for school. You know, any job I've had since then, getting myself out of debt, building a company, every single thing that is valuable and meaningful in my life, this phrase has been the driving

force underneath it. More than that, anyone I've had the opportunity to share this little simple idea with has then been able to adopt it and create really powerful changes in their life. And so that's why I'm really excited to get it out into more people's hands. No kidding. You hear those stories about your mom and then you hear that phrase, everything is figure outable. And it's almost like your heart jumps a little bit because you hear that and you're like, that's what it should be. That is right. It's so inspiring. What do you think it is? about that mindset that just has the ability to light people on fire? Well, I think because it reminds them and us of something that we all know deep down, but sometimes we forget. And that's that each of us

are born creators. We were given this gift, this ability to change our thinking, to change our minds, to take ideas almost from the ether and make them reality. I mean, Alex, just the fact that right now. Everyone even listening to this show, you know, at one point in time, podcast didn't exist, right? The internet didn't exist. I'm looking around. Like, I'm sitting on a chair. I'm looking at light bulbs. I'm in a building in New York City. Someone had to imagine all of these things into being and then do the work that was necessary to change reality. So that's the power that all of us have. And I think that our educational system just doesn't do a good job teaching us at a young enough age that we all do have this power. And we can use our minds and our hearts and our desires

to not only shift our own reality, but to create meaningful change in the world. Oh, that's powerful. And it seems like the ramifications of this everything is figure outable mindset. I mean, that certainly obviously affects the entrepreneur, but I think it can affect the artist, the athlete, the person that works in a massive corporation or organization. It seems like it transcends just the entrepreneur. It absolutely does. And I mean, if we think about some of the most transformative shifts in human history, you know, from the art to the sciences, to medicine. If we go all the way back, you know, Roger Bannister breaking the four-minute mile, right, shifted sports history and created a new reality for so many people that followed after him.

If you think about John F. Kennedy saying, we're going to put a person on the moon. And all of us thought like, whoa, maybe not. And then 10 years later, that happened. If you think about women's suffrage, if you think about the civil rights movement, You can just go down the line, medical breakthroughs. It always takes someone who has the spirit of the idea that everything is figureoutable to then reach out into the future, to stake a claim and bring all of us along with them. And so to your point, you know, it doesn't matter if you're working in an organization, you're a parent, you're a community organizer, you're an entrepreneur, your teacher, your student.

We all have this innate wisdom in us. We all have this innate power and this creativity. and my job with this book is just to remind people of the gifts that they already have, just to remind them and to kind of amplify and awaken what they already have inside them. I love that you use the word awaken because it seems like, okay, once we possess that idea, like Marie, you've sold me, everything is figuratible, I'm on board with Miriam, let's do it. But then there's also something to the idea of not everything is ours to do. Yes.

And so like, okay, you're in on that. So I'm going to let you run with that. You go. So there's actually, there's two things I want to address. There's that and then there's another bit because in case anyone's skeptical and that's healthy to be skeptical. You know, I've had dear friends who have known me. I've been doing what I've been doing for 20 years and people who know me, they know my heart, they know my work. You know, they even heard the title of this book. And they're like, that's a real bold claim. Mary, what about X, Y, and Z? So let's walk through that because we can address all of it. So when I was first writing this, I was out to brunch with a friend and her 10-year-old son was with us. And he said, what's the name of your book? And I said,

everything is figure-outable. And he said, no, it's not. And I said, this is awesome. Tell me more. If you can convince a 10-year-old, you can convince anyone. That's right. And he said, well, I can't grow human working wings out of my back and fly away. And I said, well, that's accurate right now. But have you researched a thing called CRISPR? And do you know that we human beings can indeed fly. And he was like, oh yeah, I guess you're right. And that inspired me, Alex, to create a little mental container for us so that we can use this idea, to your point, to create real change in our lives and in our communities around us. So here's the three rules if everything is figureoutable. Rule number one, all problems or dreams are figure outable. Rule number two, if a problem

isn't figure outable. It's not a problem. It's a fact of life. For example, death, gravity, laws of nature. Rule number three, you may not care enough to solve this particular problem or reach this particular dream and that's okay. Find something you do care enough about and go back to rule number one. So that kind of helps us aim our energies and our efforts in our efforts. a direction that's most aligned with what we feel we are willing to commit to. And if I may, I just want to talk through the kind of second layer of people that feel a little bit of resistance to the idea. Well, what about something like these hard truths in life?

Like, what about a terminal diagnosis or a life-changing diagnosis? Or what about death or loss or grief or addiction? And I was like, great, bring those on. One of the benefits I've had from sharing this idea, especially in my Oprah talk, was that I started getting letters back from people who started to use the idea. And I want to share one story from a woman named Jen. Jen had heard that same podcast, the Oprah podcast. And she wrote to us, and she said, thank you so much. This is a lesson that my mother has been trying to teach me for my whole life, but I really got it when you said it. And in fact, we both listened to your talk together

and we thought it was lovely. But then everything changed. My beautiful mom got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Oh, my word. Suddenly, nothing seemed figureoutable. But she said, you know what? I actually took a step back and I looked more deeply at what was happening. You know, what was figure outable? I could figure out how to get nursing care to my mom who lived in a rural area.

I could figure out how to find the exact foods that she could tolerate. And I could figure out how to get medical equipment so that she could spend her last days and in fact her last five weeks in the place she most wanted to be, which was in her own home. So she told us that she could say without a shadow of a doubt, that she still feels that everything really is figureoutable. And this phrase made an enormous difference to her and her mom in a time when they really needed it most. We have dozens of stories like that from people dealing with addiction and loss and all kinds of things where they used it to find their own answers. including some of these really difficult truths that we all face in life.

Yeah, and it's a way, it seems as though it's a way of looking at the world. And certainly, if it can positively impact a situation that at the outset appears as grim as that, I mean, the ramifications for the entrepreneur or the business leader, it's like there's nothing they can't do. Like, everything is figureoutable. Can you speak to how this plays out in the business world? Yes. So, I mean, I've used it every single step of the way.

When I started my business when I was 23, I had no clue what I was doing. I was, you know, piles and piles in debt. I was extremely insecure. I didn't know my top side from my backside. It was just I was a hot mess. And every single aspect of it from gaining my first clients and customers, from understanding and learning how to market effectively and sell effectively, from growing my team, from learning to delegate, you know, now I think there's over 30 people in our company and some of the

stuff that we're able to do is just incredible. But I think that it's a mindset that not only as a business leader, as a CEO, as a founder that you need to adopt, but I think it is absolutely crucial to embed this into your culture. Because people who show up at a team, they want a problem solve. And as entrepreneurs, we're constantly doing things that we've never done before. Any time you're going to grow your business, guess what? Ninety-nine percent of what you're about to do, you've never done before. And the way that technology is shifting and changing so much now, there may not be a roadmap for what you want to create. So you need to get comfortable with the inherent groundlessness of creativity. And when you have your team who also adopts this notion that

everything is figureoutable, all of a sudden, you can work in synergy and go, you know what? Yep, this is a messy situation or you know what? This just totally got messed up. This is hard, but we can figure it out. If we work together, we can figure it out. Everyone shifts immediately into solution mode rather than blame mode. Everyone starts brainstorming and bringing the resources to the table. And Alex, I have to say, with the level of conviction, when everyone says, hey, we are going to figure this out. That is the rule.

There's nothing that you can't handle. There's a level of just strict grit and resiliency and hustle there. But at the same time, it seems like all of the examples you've used, and I know the way that you teach, there's a certain level of belief and purpose and depth that is essential to be able to run sustainably with this. So can you speak to the role that belief and also having a vision plays in being able to have this mindset over the long game? Yeah. Well, I think, you know, most of us don't understand how powerful our beliefs are in our lives, right? I talk about them like they're the train tracks that kind of direct where we go and how we get there, whether we realize it or not.

And here's the cool thing. All beliefs are a choice and choices can be changed. So when you recognize that you can literally implant powerful, useful, helpful beliefs in your brain, in your soul, in your body, and have them direct you, that I think is the beginning. And you asked about having a vision. It almost comes back to those three rules. One of the things we walk people through in the book is how to get very, very specific on what is the one thing right now that you most want to. to figure out because I think especially us as entrepreneurs, I will raise my hand to this. We tend to have 50 million things that we want to figure out. Amen to that. Right. We want to maybe change our health. We want to hire five new people. We want to do this, that, and the other thing. And I've found in order to really give people a new skill set and a new discipline, we need to simplify to amplify. So in the book, I walk people through how to get crystal clear on the one thing that you want to figure out right now so that you can learn all of the underpinning skills that help this come to life. And then once you got confidence there, hey, we can lather, rinse, and repeat on other things.

So I think that for anyone listening, don't try and figure out 15 things at once. That is a surefire recipe to burn yourself out to get frustrated and to quit. You just won't have enough juice to see one thing through. But if you can just choose one, the most important thing, a dreamer problem that is the thing that you really want to focus on, I guarantee anyone listening. follow the steps. They're not complex. It doesn't matter your level of education or anyone can do this. And you will see how capable you really are. And then we can start to, again, build out and to do maybe two or three things at once. I love that phrase. And you kind of breeze past it, simplify to amplify. Oh, it's my savior, Alex. It's our company's savior because I think all of us, our eyes are bigger than what we're able to actually do. We have huge appetites for all the projects we want to bring the life, all the changes we want to make. all the growth we want to see happen, but most of us are feeling overwhelmed and overstretched

and overcommitted. And so much of that is our own doing. And so we have to consciously dial ourselves back, right? Rather than having 10 things on the to do list, can we have two or three? And then if we happen to knock those out of the park, yeah, maybe we'll add another one. But I don't think people realize the environment we're in right now, too. I mean, I'm holding my cell phone right now, you know, holding it up and Alex can see me. But I think technology, for as much as it can be a blessing, it's also really something that takes us off track. I mean, constantly being distracted, there's so much incoming data. We feel like we have to be 50 different places at once, constantly creating content, creating value,

you know, customer service. How do you, because so much of your business is based in technology, right? So I would assume there's a tremendous pressure to be always on. So how do you limit that and make sure that you're not getting too distracted from the things that matter most. So there's a couple of things. One, about five years ago, I noticed that I did feel myself feeling just this societal pull to be everywhere and do everything. And I was like, wait a minute, who's making the rules here? Society, technology, or me? And this came actually out of a carb craving. So I was creating a croissant. I wanted a croissant really bad. And I knew that

there was a little bakery around the corner that I had not visited yet. And I went to this Vagree, Alex. And it was awesome. I walked up to the door and it was closed. There was actually a white piece of paper hand drawn on the door that said closed for vacation back in two weeks. And it was this moment of like, oh yeah, you can do that. We can just close down the company and be off for vacation. And I pretty much bet nothing will happen. That's bad. So it inspired us. We actually closed down our company for two weeks in the summer and two weeks in the wintertime where everyone's dark, me included. If I'm on social media, it's because like I'm cooking a great soup and I want you to know the recipe. Do you know what I mean? Like there's no promotions

happening. It's for funsies. So we put boundaries in place in our company to ensure that no one gets burnt out because you're not good to anyone if you're burned out. You are your most important asset in life. The second thing on a more granular basis, and this is something anyone listening can practice. It's a mantra called create before you consume. Create before you consume. Create before you can So most of us are so addicted to our devices that we wake up with them. We go to the bathroom with them. We go to sleep with them. They're with us constantly. We don't even consciously recognize how much time we're spending on our devices because they've come so automatic and so addictive. So a practice that I share with people is like, hey, don't pick up your phone first

thing in the morning. I know it sounds cliched, but if you actually stop doing it, it really does work. Create the life and the business that you want before you consume the ideas, the agendas of others. Let's say that you want to write your first book or you want to develop a new marketing plan or you want to develop a new product proposal. Rather than waking up and scanning your social feeds or your email or your news feeds, spend 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes, creating that thing that you want to figure out, creating the life that you most want. And then you can consume later on. So it's a really simple hack that has profound results if you do it consistently. And that's the powerful phrase I feel like is if you do it consistently. So once we have the belief and we have the vision, I know one of the things that you are both a practitioner on, but also a teacher of is take action fast. Yes. Start before you're ready. Okay. So explain that to us. Like what does that mean to you? That phrase, start before you're ready. And why is that so crucial?

So start before you're ready is another really fun mantra to adopt for yourself. And it's a great way to leapfrog over procrastination, self-doubt, and fear. All of us battle with those things. I don't care who you are. I don't care how much motivation you listen to or what you had for breakfast. All of us get fearful. Okay. Hold on now, though.

You're telling me multi-million dollar business owner Marie Forleo that has, I mean, just like never is not putting out content, you battle procrastination? Oh my goodness, yes. This is a human thing. Now, I have worked myself through it. I get better over time, but there are absolutely times when I am just like, you know, again, mind is a tricky thing. I don't think we're ever going to outgrow it. So here's the hack, though, right? Here's the trick, the start before you're ready. I'll tell you, you know, on this book tour that we're doing, we were talking about this a little bit before we started recording, I had this idea for something really big and something we'd never seen done before in the space to do this for my book launch. And it basically, the little tagline is if a Beyonce

concert and a TED Talk had a baby and then through a party, like that's what we're creating, which you have to get, right? I've never done anything like that. And to start before we're ready, myself and my team literally started making calls, Alex, and literally started pulling the entire thing, together to now, you know, we have this incredible event that we are doing. It's at the Hammerstein ballroom. And you sold it out, right? We sold them out. Yes. And it's like, you know, some of the folks that have built sets for like, you know, Kanye, whether you like them or not, like they're kind of building our staging. And it's just, it's, it's wild. But my point is the start before you're ready. None of us ever feel ready to do the work that we were born to do. So you got to just start.

It's a little like this. I go to the ocean. I love being in the water. Really love being in the water. really love being in the water. But on the East Coast and in some parts of the world, the ocean can be pretty cold. If you kind of tiptoe around in it, you'll torture yourself, right? You're like, I don't know if I can go in and you try and go into your calves and then you're like maybe to my thighs. And that makes it worse. But if you actually just run straight for the cold within a minute or two, you're like, this is the most glorious thing ever. And I'm someone who hates cold water and I trained myself to just go, like just do it. So start before you're right. I will tell you, it sidesteps what I call procrastination disguises research.

That's essentially what a lot of us do. We spend years like Google searching about our idea and thinking about it and talking about it and never actually taking action towards it. And taking action looks like something active, making a phone call, setting an appointment, going to take a class, doing something to physically get out there and feel whether or not you want to keep going rather than just think about it in your head. So let me ask you this for a highly driven growth oriented, performance oriented individual, like so many of the people that listen to this, I'm sure like you, that wants to appear hypercompetent,

that wants to appear like they are really good at what they do. And if we're being honest, we want to appear like we're the best, right? We don't just want to be good. We want to be outstanding. But anytime you try something new, you're not going to be the best. Sometimes that keeps you from doing it. How did you scale that hurdle? Well, here's the thing.

I think that we have to just be in touch with reality. Every pro starts as an amateur. You have got to be willing to suck. I am totally willing to suck at everything at first. Okay, so even with a product you put out, though? Well, here's the thing. That's a great point. I'm going to give it my very best effort, right?

I'm not going to do shoddy work. I'm not going to not proof check. I'm not going to not do the research that's necessary to put out something that I feel. in my heart, like this is the best I can do right now, the very best. And I think anyone listening knows the difference, the distinction, the nuance between just putting something out there and throw in spaghetti at the wall because you don't care about quality versus constantly polishing and five years goes by because you're being a perfectionist. There's a difference between having

high standards and being willing to evolve and iterate as you go. So that brings us back to another mantra, which we talk about in the book, it's a whole chapter, progress not perfection. There is a really big distinction between unhealthy perfectionism, which actually can be deadly, and having high standards, but you have high standards understanding, you're always going to evolve. You're always going to iterate. For example, B-School, we've had over 55,000 entrepreneurs go through that program so far. The first B-School that ever existed in 2010 looks nothing like the B-School of the current day. it has evolved and gotten better because I have evolved and gotten better, but I couldn't have gotten to the stage where we have, you know, a community in 141 countries if I wasn't willing to just be the

best I could have been in 2010. So be the best that you can right now and recognize that that's not going to be acceptable five years from now. Yeah. And also kind of be willing to suck and stop taking yourself so seriously. Like nobody's perfect. Really. Everybody, I always think about this.

And I don't mean to bring bathroom. but like everybody poos, everybody pees, everyone parts. Nobody's perfect. And I actually think in today's day and age, if you are putting out your best effort and people genuinely see that you care and you're trying to do your best by your customer, they are so much more forgiving than if you are bringing some bravado of like, I'm the best and this is the best thing ever. And you just, it's fake. It's false. People can smell it a mile away and they're not going to want to do business with you. or if they're on your team, they're not going to want to follow you for that matter. Correct. They're going to be afraid, too, to bring up an error or to give you valuable feedback.

Like, I'm always asking my team, like, hey, guys, if you notice anything that we're doing, anything that we're creating, anything that I'm doing that you want to give me feedback on so that I can serve at a higher level, I want to hear that. Even if it's uncomfortable, even if you think it might hurt my feelings, tell me, because I am committed to growth. I have no ego in this. Do you know what I mean? Like I just want to serve people and I just want to be the best I can be. But that requires that I'm constantly looking for ways to expand, for ways to get better, for ways to improve, which means that I'm not the best me that I am. Does that make sense? It totally makes sense. Yeah. So let me ask you this from a leadership perspective. I mean, you are an extremely fast-paced, high-energy individual. And you just said you have high standards. Yes. So I'm curious. How do you lead in such a way that you want to make sure you don't run over people or just run away? And they're like, there goes Marie and she's 10 miles in front of us and we're just still trying to pick up the pieces. How do you lead in such a way that invites people into moving at that pace with you? That's a great question.

I don't think that there's a cookie cutter answer, but I'll just share some of how we operate on the team. So we communicate often. You know, we pick up phones. We have Slack conversations. We have real conversations. We have in-person conversations. and we talk about our projects at every stage of it. And there are times on the team where I'm like, hey, you guys, I can just feel and see you're

so on a role. You don't need my feedback. Go for it. I trust you. Even if we have a little flop, even if something doesn't work out perfectly, like you know what you're doing, just go for it. And there are other times where, you know, we'll just say, hey, what do we all feel about this?

What do we think about this? And we can have open dialogues where we can have disagreements, but no one's demonized. It's like, hey, we want to hear everyone's opinion. Why do you feel that way? What do you think? And when it's necessary, we make collective decisions and everyone then gets behind them. So I think creating an environment as a leader where people feel safe to express their opinions, especially if they're different, where people feel safe enough to disagree.

But then we all get on board. Of course, I'm kind of making an assumption that whatever the decisions are about are full of integrity. Sometimes it's just a creative difference, right? Which way do we want to go left or right? And so that safety is really huge. And then as a leader, I think for me, it's understanding that what's most important in our company is that everyone feels great about the process. Like, I want my team feeling like they have the best job on the planet.

And part of my role as a leader is to keep touching base with them to make sure that they feel that way. And I have to tell you, our teammates oftentimes, like they send me little notes and it makes, it could bring me to tears because this is what the most important thing is to me. They're like, I can't believe I get to do this every day. Like, I have so much fun. And sometimes our team members, they see each other on vacation. Like, I don't even know about it. And then I just get a picture in my Slack channel. Like, look at who I hung out with on my two-week vacation. I'm like, what do you guys do? And you work together all the time. They're like, yeah, we just love each other. I'm like, wow. That kind of thing happens, I think, because people are trusted. You give them the opportunity to take their ideas to fruition. And then you're just honest as a leader about what works for you and what doesn't, but you actually ask for their future.

back to. When you're running on this journey, there are going to be times where the reality doesn't look like the dream. Oh, yeah. What do you tell yourself or what is the mental dialogue or are there any actions or hacks for those moments where you're feeling discouraged because where you are currently doesn't match up to what you want the future to look like. Oh, I think it's just about honesty. I mean, if as a team you take on a project and it just turns out to crash, I think it's useful to just be like, okay, that didn't work out the way we wanted. What can we learn from this? Like, you take blame aside, right? There's no finger pointing. It's just as a collective. You're like, okay, what didn't we see? Or where were the kind of places where looking back, this is a lesson for us to grow from for next time.

So I think that's one thing. And then as a leader, I also think it's important to be, again, transparent with your team. Like right now is probably one of the business times of my entire career. And I'm very just open with my team. I'm like, you guys, I'm operating on very little brain cells. So forgive me if I am not as articulate as normal or, you know, I'm just going to be a little bit more quiet. And they'll kind of come in and pour love into me, not from an ego place, but because they see that I'm a little depleted. Or if I'm having a hard time with something, I don't pretend to have it all together. I'm going to share that with my team because guess what?

In that moment, they probably have more perspective and insight than I do. and I want to use that perspective and that intelligence to help get myself back on track. So I think that there's a lot to be said for vulnerability and transparency, especially when you have that underpinning of trust with the people you work with. I know a big piece of this everything is figuratable mindset and kind of the way of looking at the world is patience. Yes. But it seems like there can be a lot that's misunderstood about patience or, I mean, a lot of times we just say, Oh, they're a millennial. They're impatient, right? So from your perspective, what is patience? And why does it matter so much? Why is it one of the secret ingredients to all this actually working out? Well, I think, first of all, anything that's worthwhile in terms of figuring it out, you know, building a company, taking a new product to market, building out a particular team, reaching a particular revenue or profit marker. Most of those things don't happen overnight. We're talking months, if not years, to reach that particular milestone.

And so I think that we live in a time where technology has somewhat trained us to want instant gratification, or we see other companies or other people and have often a mistaken notion of their overnight success, which nine times out of 10 is not the truth. So I think just having some sense of balance and integration between the on-demand instant gratification of technology that we live in right now with the real world time. timelines of mastery and of growth. Like I'm doing what I've been doing for 20 years. That is not an insignificant amount of time. And most people who create anything know when you really want to create something excellent, it takes more time, it takes more money, and it takes more sweat than even you have initially planned for.

So I think that that reality check is important. But as it relates to projects, you know, there's something that I talk about in the book called the power of positive quitting. There are going to be times. It's like that old saying, right? You know, quitters never win. I don't think that's quite true. I think sometimes quitters do win because if you're moving toward a project and you're

working on it really hard and in those moments, you really think it's the right thing, but you hit a certain point where either new information comes about, the landscape has changed, or certain things in your circumstance or situation have moved so that now it's not the right thing to do anymore, right? Like, the game has changed. You've put a lot into it. Yes, there's some sunk cost. But perhaps the wisest thing to do is to say, we need to pivot or we need to move on or we need to make a new goal because this, the thing that we thought was going to be it isn't actually it. And some people are so married to this fact that, but we said we were going to do it and they keep pushing in the wrong direction, even though everything in their heart and their soul says,

you know, it's time to actually move on. And I think there's a really important distinction between giving up and moving on. Important distinction between giving up and moving on. That's that's a powerful concept because that ties directly into what you said about Simplify to Amplify. It's like I'm going to say no to these things so that I can double down on the things that actually matter. Yeah. And you know, giving up is almost like, it's too hard. I can't do it. Like it's almost like a little bit of a tantrum that we do. It's like, no, it's not worth it. We're We don't have what it takes.

We don't want to get up and try again. That to me is giving up. That's like a version of quitting that I would say nine times out of ten is not healthy. We're moving on is you've gone as far as you can go. You assess the situation and you're like, you know what? We learned a ton from this and we want to take a slightly different direction. We're not giving up because we can't hack it. We see something better that is a more valuable use of our time and energy.

I'll give you a quick example from my own business. About eight years ago, I wanted to do this coaching program. Oh, actually has to be more than eight years ago. Oh, my God, time is working. This is probably like 12 or 13 years ago right now. I wanted to launch this new membership program. And this is at a time when we didn't really have a lot of technology around that, right?

And so I hired this programmer to build something custom for me. And I probably invested, I don't know, five, six, seven thousand dollars, which at the time, and I honestly don't know how many years ago it was, but it was a lot of money. at that time. That was more money than I had seen. First of all, it's still a lot of money right now. Let's just say that. But it was a scary amount of money then. And I was so excited for this new program. I had sold hundreds of people into it. And then it was time to start loading them into this new custom membership site. Guess what happened, Alex? That crashed. Totally crashed. And I am a person who from a business perspective, customer experience is everything to me. It is everything. It is the

Hill I will die on. So to have hundreds of people who just paid good money to load into this private, cool membership thing that was like a total S show. And it was just crashing and burning. I was mortified. But here's the deal. I took a step back, realized what happened, communicated with everyone, got them onto a hosted platform. So I took care of people. That was fine. And guess what? I didn't step back in and say, let's rebuild this thing from the ground up. I learned the lesson that until I had the proper tech team in place, which I didn't have at that time, I was not going to make an investment in that direction. That was an expensive but important lesson for me to learn.

So I didn't quote unquote quit on my membership site. I pivoted to where my gifts and my talents were going to actually make the most difference. And I taught myself to not go into a place where I didn't have the tech support to really execute on what my vision was. Wow. That's a powerful example. And it's like, man, if you can do it in that scenario, we can do it in any, scenario, I feel like. Yeah, and it's not that that wasn't figure outable. It just after I hit that point, that wasn't worth it for me to figure out anymore. There was another thing that was way more

worth it to me to figure out. Yeah. Was there ever a time over the course of the 20 years of building this business where you didn't know if you could go anymore? I think I've hit points where I felt like I needed a break, right, where I didn't have enough bumpers in place in terms of downtime. more vacation time or just time away to refill my well. So I've made places where like I could hear the conversation of my head going like, oh, wow, wouldn't it be nice to just, you know, maybe I'm going to retire. Like, you know, I could hear those voice and I was like, oh, that's the voice of exhaustion. That's the voice that I have not given myself enough playtime. That is the voice of being so depleted that you have lost touch with your joy, which is a natural part of who I am.

And after I kind of made some rearrangements in my work day, my bumpers in terms of vacations, the joy came back. So I don't think I've had a real point like that. But when I have those voices, usually it's because I'm tired and I've overworked myself. I mean, there's enough people that listen to this podcast that you're talking to a lot of people that are really tired right now. And some of them either feel like they need a break. Some of them are considering maybe they need a break forever, right?

and maybe it's not even positive quitting, maybe they're just about to say I quit. You are one of the most inspirational people on the planet right now, Marie. So we get to have a conversation with you right now where you get to talk to those people. What would you tell the people that are in that position? Absolutely. I give this advice often because when I'm coaching people, I can usually hear and feel in their heart that same level of exhaustion and fear and just wanting to quit that I've had that we just described. So I would say this, if you can find a way to carve out, even if it's just three days, you know, you don't have to necessarily take a trip if that's not in your financial reality.

If it's possible for you to go somewhere where you can get a change of scenery, that would be great. But go someplace and do things that are joyful to you. Do things with your body, like any kind of physical movement. It could be swimming. It could be walking. It could be cross-country skiing. It could be riding a horse. For me, it's dancing.

But to get back into your body and to get back in touch with things that bring you simple joys like cooking or baking or painting or whatever. And I find that when people just have a little bit of a break and they can take a real good sleep and to eat fresh food and good water, there is a reset that happens. There's a recharge that happens. You know, computers are meant to run 24-7, but humans aren't. And they think there's far too many of us pushing ourselves far too hard. these days. And it is, there's diminishing returns. So for anyone listening, if you're at that place, I would just invite you, take a break, a day, three days. If you can afford to even take five or a week, please do it. And I can almost guarantee that when you come back, you're going to

have such a fresh perspective to either make some significant changes in your business or you're going to see an opportunity that you just can't see when you're this exhausted. Tell everyone that's listening today how they can keep up with you. you and keep up with this Beyonce-style TED talk and everything that's going on. Yes. So, well, I will tell anyone, you know, if you're excited by anything you've heard in this conversation, get your hands on the book. Everything is figure-outable.

It is a handbook for becoming the creative force in your own life. And I can speak to that. It has helped me immensely where I am at in my career right now. And the title says everything you need to know about this book, man, it will give you the sense of purpose and passion and resiliency and grit. But also, Marie, you have this incredible ability to take really great ideas and give people actionable steps for moving forward. So I'm so stoked that people are going to get this book because I honestly think it's going to change people's careers. I think it's going to change their life. Thank you so much. That's our hope.

That's our intention. So go ahead and pick up the book. And if you want to say hi to me on the internet, you know, you can find me at MarieForleo.com or I'm most active. on Instagram at Marie Forleo. Well, we're super grateful to you for your time, for your energy, and for your message. You're doing huge things, and we're thankful to be connected to you. Oh, Alex, thank you so much for having me on. And thank you, everyone, for listening. Wow.

You want to talk about someone that is absolutely on fire right now. And I think Marie's story, but also her message, is so inspiring because it really just exemplifies ruthless, relentless, persistent. If you do want to read that book, we're going to put the link to everything is figureoutable in the show notes. I would highly encourage you to take advantage of that. I also want to let you know about a new resource that our team created for you and your team. It's the critical thinking cheat sheet. One of the things that I've seen coaching business leaders around the country is that so often our ability to get to where we need to go is a product of our ability to evaluate where we currently are.

And so often, great leaders are the ones that ask great questions. That's what the critical thinking cheat sheet is. It's a list of questions that you should be asking yourself about your business, your team, your organization, your leadership, to look in the mirror and say, where are we today so we can get where we need to be tomorrow? So if you want to take advantage of this free resource, text critical to 3344. Again, that's critical to 33444. or just click the link that's in the show notes. I hope you enjoyed this episode at the Entree Leadership podcast. If you did, please give us a five-star review

and tell your friends to subscribe. For a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card, you can review this episode by clicking the link that's in the show notes. And be sure to follow us on social media at Entree Leadership. This episode was produced by Tim Hull, and it was edited and mixed by Will Rudder. I'm Alex Judd, and on behalf of the entire Entree Leadership team,

thanks for listening. We'll talk with you again very soon. Hey, if you enjoy this podcast, you should check out our other great podcast from the Ramsey Network, like Business Boutique. Hey, I'm Christy Wright, and I help women all over the country take their ideas and passions and hobbies and turn them into profitable businesses. If you have an idea in your head or a dream in your heart and you've ever wondered if you could make money doing it, I'm here to help. Join us on the Business Boutique podcast where we are equipping women to make money doing what they love. To hear full episodes, just search Business Boutique wherever you listen to Pondique. or go to business boutique.com.