EntreLeadership - The Keys to a Productive One-on-One Meeting with Daniel Ramsey and Brendan Wovchko

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

Join us as our host, George Kamel, talks with Executive Vice President of EntreLeadership Daniel Ramsey. They role-play how to have a productive one-on-one meeting. Later, George sits down with Brendan Wovchko, the chief technology officer at Ramsey Solutions. He shares how to make your one-on-one meetings effective and the best ways to build relationships with your team members. You’ll learn: •      How to have an effective one-on-one meeting •      How to keep team members by developing this habit •      The top questions to ask in a one-on-one •      The signs that your one-on-one was worth the time Sign up for The EntreLeadership Podcast Takeaways—a weekly email where you’ll get three tangible takeaways and a tactical action step related to each episode: https://bit.ly/podcast-takeaways Support our sponsors: •      Hite Digital: https://bit.ly/HiteDigital •      NetSuite: https://bit.ly/NetSuiteEntre •      Trainual: https://bit.ly/TrainualEntre •      BELAY: https://bit.ly/351P9AE Links mentioned in this episode: •      The EntreLeadership Podcast: https://bit.ly/TheEntreLeadershipPodcast •      Download Tips for a Great One-on-One Meeting in EntreLeadership Elite: https://bit.ly/3zVMAgh •      Learn more about Weekly Reports: https://bit.ly/3x40ASS •      Give us your feedback by leaving a voicemail at 844.944.1070 or emailing [e-mail] •      Sign up for your 30-day free trial of EntreLeadership Elite: https://bit.ly/3QQ0E1l Learn more about EntreLeadership Events: •      EntreLeadership Master Series: https://bit.ly/EntreLeadershipMasterSeries •      EntreLeadership Summit: https://bit.ly/EntreLeadershipSummit   Learn more about EntreLeadership Coaching: •      Elite: https://bit.ly/3tI2fN8 •      Advisory Groups: https://bit.ly/EntreLeadershipAdvisoryGroups •      Executive Coaching: https://bit.ly/EntreLeadershipExecutiveCoaching •      Workshops: https://bit.ly/EntreLeadershipWorkshops Listen to all the Ramsey Network podcasts anytime, anywhere in our app. Download the Ramsey Network app: https://apple.co/3eN8jNq Learn more about your ad choices: https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, we dig in to one of the most underrated meeting rhythms, the one-on-one. Do they just feel like a status update or a waste of time? Well, then you're probably doing it wrong. Welcome to the Entree Leadership Podcast from the Ramsey Network, where we help you learn the proven principles for winning as a business leader. I'm your host, George Camel, and each week here on the podcast, I sit down with some of the best leadership minds out there to help you grow yourself, your team, and your profits. I want to say a quick thanks to all of you who have left us very much. voicemails with your feedback on these new segments we've been trying. Some of you are big fans. I can't wait to hear more. Keep up the great work. And some of you, not as much.

I have to say, I thought I was going to like it and I actually did not. But either way, we appreciate it. Please keep that feedback coming. All right, in our first segment in today's show, Daniel Ramsey is going to join me as we roleplay how to have a productive one-on-one meeting. Then in our second segment, Brendan Wojko will join me to dive into how to make your one-on-one meetings effective and the best ways to build relationships with your team members. All right, let's get to this first segment where we roll play with Daniel Ramsey, executive vice president of Entree leadership. Daniel, what's up?

Hey, man. Thanks for having me. Absolutely. So we're going to roll play this. I am walking into your office. It's a Wednesday at 1030. I'm a member on your team. I report to you, and it's time for our 30-minute one-on-one.

And we're going to give them a taste today, all right? Yeah, let's go for it. Okay. Door opens. Hey, what's up, Daniel? Hey, George, how's your week been, man? Good, dude. We had a fun weekend, a little sleepy still, but, you know, waking up, second cup of the day. Why's that? What did you get into?

You know, we had some house projects, and we had a friend's birthday party, and I'm an old man. And so if I'm not in bed by nine, I turn into a pumpkin, and it was a little bit of a later night. So I'm paying the price. All right. How about you guys? You and Allison and Eli get anything fun? Yeah, man, this has been a busy week. Work-wise, it's been great.

I've been having a lot of fun. There's been a couple stressful things, but again, back into the groove of things. Outside of work, I'll tell you, our son Eli just started a Mother's Day Out program, which is really cool. He's getting older, and it's been really fun. So he had his first day the other day,

and he did awesome. They brought a fire truck to the school, and he was just obsessed with anything and everything trucks right now. All thing trucks. So, yeah, man. I bet Grandpa Dave loves that. He does. He does.

His grandbaby loves a truck. Yeah, and so right now he's just obsessed, and he just walked around the house. talking about trucks all day. And it's, so that's been like the highlight of I week. But, but yeah, man. Simple things.

Yeah, for sure, for sure. That's fun. Yeah. How are things workwise for you? What's kind of top of mind? Like, what's going on in your room? Let's see. Well, you know, I'm doing the copywriting on a new course inside of Montrey

elite, which has been a lot of fun. But, man, it is, it is more than I bargained for because we've, you know, we've been down a writer. And so I'm kind of taking this on all on my own. And there's just a lot of content in there. And so I'm just in the weed. right now, you know, it's been some, some, had to skip a lunch or two just to try to power through it. Okay. Tell me more about that. Like, so you're doing the marketing and the copy. We lost Alex,

who was doing copywriting for us a couple months ago. And I didn't realize that it's been affecting your day so much. Yeah, I think I kind of accidentally absorbed a lot of that work. And I probably, I could have done a better job kind of bringing that and going, hey, this is too much. But I thought, just on first blush from our meetings that I could handle it. How many hours a week do you think you're spending time doing that? Is it like one or two hours a week or is this like ending up being five or ten? Yeah, it's a lot closer to the latter. It's more like five or ten and it's hard to get all the other projects done

and keep up with just the day-to-day meetings and emails on top of all that. So it's been a lot, to be honest. I appreciate you being a team player and taking ownership over the problem and doing what needs to be done to get this course finished and keep moving forward. and at the same time, your time is more valuable doing your role, which is marketing.

And so I really do want you focus there. And so I appreciate you stepping up and doing some of that. And honestly, we probably need you to keep doing some extent of that. But five or ten hours a week, that's way too much.

I don't think that's a good use of your time or our team's time. Why don't I look for some solutions for you? Can I lean in there and help? Yeah, do that be amazing. Okay, so right now I'm thinking, hey, maybe there's another team that I could talk to

and see what their copywriting availability is if they have another team member I can pull over and maybe share the burden with you. That'd be awesome. Let me dive in a little bit more and get an understanding before I commit to a solution, but I'm thinking that and I've got a couple of the things in my back pocket that if we need to do, we can.

And so let me circle up with a few people and do you mind if I get back to you tomorrow? Yeah, that's fine. I appreciate that, man. Can you hold down the fort until then? I think so. I'll last another 24 hours. Cool. Awesome. Thanks, man. I appreciate you doing that. Absolutely. Hey, I've got one more thing on my list that I wanted to

with you. Yeah. So this is a slightly uncomfortable observation that I've had that I just want to give you some feedback on. Are you open to that? Yeah. Okay. Cool. Hey, so I've, you know, I've noticed as I walk by your desk, there seems to be a pattern where you tend to be on your phone a decent amount. And I don't know what you're doing. I can't see your phone. But I'll tell you as a leader, I assume when I see you or other people on their phone that it's not work-related. And I get it. sometimes like my wife text me or something goes on. But you can see my, do you understand my perspective of how that feels off to me?

Like, it seems like there may be, is there something going on that I need to be aware of? Tell me more about what's going on. I mean, honestly, I haven't really noticed that too much, but if anything, you know, I have been a little bit stressed, like I mentioned, and so that can lead to some distraction. And there has been some, you know,

just stuff going on at home with family, a little bit of drama, nothing serious, but stuff that's kind of just taking my focus away. a little bit and sometimes I just need a moment to just, you know, not be focused on work. So that's probably where it's coming from. Man, I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't realize there was something stressing going on there. Is there anything you need?

Like, is there anything I can do for you there? I appreciate that, man. I don't think so right now. I think it's one of these things it'll blow over the end of the week, but it was just one of those weeks where I just needed a moment. And so that's my bet. Especially in meetings and things like that, I don't want to be perceived as a guy who's just distracted, disengaged on his phone. So I'll be much more aware of that going forward. Man, I appreciate that. Yeah. So, hey, in general, like, I get when things come up,

hey, if you need to step out, I think that would probably be a better solution than being at your desk. If you need to step out of the office for a second, take a call or take care of something, no problem. And, you know, we can work with you if you need to take some of your time off or something like that. We'd love to work with you. But in general, it definitely sends the wrong message. If I know other people, if they see you on their phone, they're going to assume that you're doing something that's not work related and you're goofing off and that it's okay to do that. And so obviously I want us focused.

I want us working. When we're at work, we need to work hard. We need to be all in on what we're doing. So if it is something going on at home, I just ask that you step out and deal with it in that way. Yeah. Cool. It makes total sense.

All right, man. Thanks. Thanks for being cool about it. Thanks for understanding. Yeah. Anything else today? Yeah. So, hey, let's spend the next of the one-on-one

talking about some of the projects you've been working on. I've got some specific feedback that I want to coach you on talk about how you can get better in this coursework and the marketing stuff that we're doing. So you want to dive in there? Let's do it. And that concludes our snapshot of our one-on-one. So that was fun, Daniel. I felt like that was real for a second. It got too real. I was like, oh, dang, I need to get off TikTok.

I was about to ask more personal questions, but I was like, for the sake of this podcast, I don't know if you can make up more. I don't know if I want to take you there. Well, part of that is to show that we can go from, you know, a little bit of personal live, real casual, friend to friend. We can move into work projects. We can move into some hard stuff as part of the one-on-one. And we always end on a positive note. There's no animosity. There's no tension there. And I'll say as a leader, usually like I have to balance asking about that stuff, like if there is something serious going on, I can't force you to tell me. But usually in

my experience, a team member will just come forward and say, hey, you know, we're struggling with my mother-in-law's health and we're trying to find her a place to live. Or, you know, usually it isn't so crazy they can't tell you. I think for the sake of this podcast, in our role playing, you know, we didn't want to just make up some crazy example. Yeah, that would, too dark. But yeah, I think as a leader balancing, you don't want to pry. But I will say, just from an expectation of the listener, usually people are just going to come forward and tell you what's going on. Yeah. And hopefully there's a level of trust and vulnerability that it's not going to be an overshare situation. But it's something I feel comfortable coming to my leader going,

hey, here's what's actually going on. And here's, here's the real. And so that's, that's one part the one-on-one. Is there anything else that would normally happen in a one-on-one for you and one of your team members? Yeah, let me dive into that. One more comment kind of on the phone thing. I think as a leader, I was trying to balance there. You gave a what was either true or a excuse. And as a leader, I'm kind of giving you the benefit of the doubt while still addressing it. And so you may have actually been goofing off on your ESPN app or reading, you know, reading stupid articles or something like that. And that may be true, but regardless, the message was sent by me. by addressing it and saying, hey, I've noticed, you know, going forward, here's my expectation.

And so if you'd given a different response, if you had said, hey, you're right, I have just been distracted in general, then it's another conversation of a little bit more serious of like, hey, we got work to do, man, this is why it's important, and I can't have you doing that. That's not why you're here. It's not why I'm here. I hold myself to a higher standard. I'm going to hold you to that same standard. Yeah. And so, you know, different ways you can go about that. So you pulled the family crisis card, and so I showed a lot of empathy. It's a good card to pull. And I assumed the best trust there.

And I did, you know, I do believe you in that. Thank you. Thank you for believing me. You know, as far as the rest of the one-on-one, what we would really spend our time diving into is oftentimes team members are sharing, or leader and team member are sharing catching each other up on what's going on. So it would be you catching me up on the details of, hey, here's how this project is going, here's how those and such is happening.

and then I would also be giving some feedback, hey, that's great, cool, keep going, or hey, this is something I really want to make you aware of to watch out for as you're going down this route. I want to challenge you to think this way, or here's a guardrail. I don't want you to go over this boundary when you're working on this project. And so it's often those kind of things. And then any coaching thing, I don't do it everyone on or every week, but I really try to be intentional about looking for patterns. So I may say, hey, beyond just you being on your phone,

I may do some coaching around, hey, when I was in marketing back in the day, these are some really things that I learned. And I want to teach you about that. Or, hey, George, let's talk about building trust with the people around you. You do a good job at it, but you could do a better job at it. And here's some tactical things of how you can really build trust with your team members that you're working with. Because, man, this project, to me, it looks like it's a little bit the team's not unified. So here's how, I want to challenge you, George, to make that a more unified project with the people you're working on. So those are some examples of ways I may coach you as you're going throughout your week.

Yeah. And naturally, I might come to you with a few more blockers, a few more problems that I'm trying to figure out. Then I'm just like, hey, this is really holding me back or I had an issue over here. And I love your help, maybe thinking outside the box of solutions I'm not thinking about. So that's back and forth. And a great leader will always make the team member feel heard and seen and help them move forward. Yep. Instead of just a straight up venting session, I go, okay,

Well, time for the next meeting. You got to go. And sometimes as a leader, it is a space for your team to vet. You know, you want them to come with problems and with frustrations. It's a safe space for that. And sometimes it's a, hey, George, come on, you know, get your head back in order. But oftentimes it's me listening, me asking questions, and helping them to get to the mindset they need to have their mindset on. Yeah. Well, we've never had an official one-on-one, but I now know what it would be like. And I thank you for that. Thanks for being on. Sure. Thanks, thanks, man. All right, it's time for your feedback. What did you think about that role play segment? Did you like it or not? Call us and leave us a voicemail at 844-944-1070. If you'd rather email us, we've got a link to that email address in the show notes. Well, folks, we are ramping up for Entree Leadership Summit, 2023, and if you haven't heard, we've got big news. Malcolm Gladwell has officially joined the lineup.

He's a five-time New York Times best-selling author and one of foreign policies top global thinkers. So if you want to hear from Malcolm and the rest of our incredible lineup, speakers like Dr. Jordan Peterson, Dave Ramsey, and so many more, then you've got to get your tickets now. It's all happening in Nashville, Tennessee, May 30th through June 2nd. Go to Entreeleadership.com slash summit to secure your spot. All right, coming up next, we get into how to have an effective one-on-one meeting that you actually enjoy. It's coming up. Joining me now is Brendan Wojko, our chief technology officer and operating board member here at Ramsey Solutions. And we're going to talk about how to have an effective one-on-one meeting. Brendan, thanks for being here.

Great to be here. Always good. So let's get into it. What is the importance of having a consistent one-on-one meeting with one of your team members? Right. Yeah. I mean, one-on-ones are probably one of the most important things that you do as a leader. If for no other reason, and of course we're going to talk a little while about why it's important, right? But if for no other reason is it important, it's how you keep people, right?

So we put so much energy into finding the right people, interviewing the right? people, hiring the right people once we get in, make sure they're on the right seat on the bus. We put so much energy into that, but I think where most leaders really fall off is once we get people in the right place, we stop paying attention to them. And if you really want people to stick around, you got to pay attention to them. There's a place I worked years ago, came in as the new leader. And one of the things that I heard was, I've worked here for two years. I've never had a one-on-one with my leader. I couldn't believe it. And I actually think that's a little bit more common than we think. Yeah. And it's one thing to just do it to check a box and say,

hey, we had a one-on-one. It's another thing to do it effectively to where both parties are looking forward to it. It adds value to both of their lives and their workplace. So how should these go? How often should they happen? Who's driving them? Who's it for? Give us the rundown of that. Yeah, yeah. So this is a little bit of a tricky one because, you know, who's the meeting for and who's driving it, right? Is it a trick question? No, it's not a trick question. But I think the answer is the unpopular answer, which is, it depends, right? And I think what makes it depend, it has a lot to do with, like, the maturity of the person that you're having the one-on-one with, right? If you're having a one-on-one with somebody who's, like, really early in their career,

you're probably going to have to drive most of the conversation, right? You're going to have to walk in a little bit more prepared. You're going to have to be, like, anticipating some of the needs that they have, and you're going to have to kind of walk them through, you know, the critical thinking of, you know, what's going on in your world right now. I'm pretty lucky the vast majority of my direct reports are really, really senior folks. So it's kind of the opposite of that, which they're really driving the agenda. I'm here to serve them in the time that we've got together. So they come in and they've got a clear understanding of the things that they need to talk to me about. And usually the things that they're talking to me about are decisions that we need to make together

versus decisions that they can make on their own. So it has a lot to do, I think, with the maturity of the actual person. And then as far as how often, I know we do a lot of these weekly. Is that a, stone thing? Do you ever meet more than that? Do you ever meet less than that? Unfortunately, it's another one of those, it depends things, right? And it also has a lot to do with maturity. It also has a lot to do with the amount of collaboration that you've got to do with the person. So, for example, one of my direct reports is my assistant. I meet with her really often, multiple times a week, because she and I have to be in lockstep about things on a, you know, day by day basis. So that's a very different situation than somebody that's in the first year

of their career or the first couple years of their career. In that situation, I'd really recommend, like, yeah, you got to meet with them every week. You get to be there all the time. What I would say is I wouldn't really ever meet with anybody for less than a couple of hours a month. So, you know, when I do my one-on-one with my leader here, it's somewhere usually in the neighborhood, we'll have one meeting a month for two hours. But I'm a pretty self-navigating guy, right? So I think it has a lot to do with the maturity of the person that you're working with. So let's get into what happens during the one-on-one meeting. What kind of things should you be talking about to make it effective?

Because let's say you have a half hour and you want to make sure we cover all the bases and be effective without being a robot and just check boxes. Right, right. So, I mean, I think one of the things that's helpful is to say what it is and what it isn't when you have a one-on-one meeting. So I think what it is is that you're trying to coach the stressors that somebody is experiencing. And what I mean by that is like, you know, what are the, relationships that they've got in their world, you know, that are either going well or a challenge,

you know, what are the key decisions that they need to be making? You know, not the decisions they can make on their own, but what are the decisions that they need help with, you know, the critical thinking that they need to walk through? And I think the last piece of that, you know, the stressors is what are the key areas that they need to be growing, you know, particularly the areas where they're not aware that they need to grow, you know? So I think you've got to be actively coaching, actively covering in the one-on-ones, like the stressors that a person goes through. What it isn't, what a one-on-one isn't, in my opinion, is a status meeting. I don't think the one-on-one is the right venue or the right opportunity to sit down

with somebody and say, what are all the things that you're working on? What are the deadlines? How are you working against those deadlines? You know, those are conversations that you want to have with people, but I think a one-on-one needs to foster more relationship. It needs to go deep. Yeah, just the external, right. Again, the check in the box of, all right, we're on track, great. Right. Go back to work. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, at the end of a one-on-one, you want people to feel like they've been seen and heard and understood and that there's actually a relationship going on between you and them. Have you ever run into a situation where the person just isn't willing to go deeper? They're just kind of wanting to make it a status update? Hopefully you find those kinds of behaviors in interviews. And so those kind of, you know, people that are kind of oriented that way never make it in the door. But yeah, it happens. It absolutely happens.

Because some people just aren't as relational. There's going to be a spectrum of someone who's just like, I'm not really here to let you know how my weekend went. I just want to tell you things are going great or things I need help with this and I want to get out of there. Yeah, that's totally true. You'll see people that aren't relational. There's also a second thing I see, which is when somebody new comes into the organization and they just have a whole lot of whiplash from wherever they came from. Well, my old job, we hear that so much. Right.

And there's some trauma and baggage and they're not used to how things go here. Right. Yeah. I mean, you know, especially here at Ramsey, you know, we talk a lot about our culture. We talk about it a lot in the interview process, but we also just talk about it in general. You know, people listen into this podcast, hear about it all the time. And when people actually show up here on their first day or their first week, one of the things that we hear from them the most is, wow, I'm shocked that it actually is what I heard it was, you know, because, you know, I think people always put a little bit of a discount on things. There's there's always this factor of can I really trust. it the way that people say that I can trust it. And, you know, the one-on-one is the perfect venue to really help prove that to people, particularly when they first start. You know, we are who we say we are. Well, we have Ontario Leadership Elite, and so many of our members were asking, hey, how do I do a one-on-one? What do I do in these one-on-ones? And so we created a quick sheet inside of Ontario Elite of what to do in a one-on-one. So I want to just rifle through a few things and get your take on which do you think you

lean into the most. So establishing weekly rhythm, obviously we talked about that. Most people are going to meet weekly with caveats, maybe an assistant you might meet more frequently. Connect on things other than work. So again, not making it just a status update, but how's your personal life going? What's going on at home? How was the weekend? Just the normal day-to-day stuff. Ask about things they wrote in their weekly report.

So this is another tool that we have inside of Entree Leadership Elite. That really helps gauge that so you don't have to wait until the one-on-one to figure out how a person is doing. And then talk about work. This is where it might be good to say, is that project on track? Do you have any blockers I can help with? Yeah, it's not to say that you can't talk about that. It's just it can't be first or second on your list, you know. So if you got extra time, certainly hit that stuff.

Yeah. And then listen to them. You mentioned this. You want them to feel seen and known and understood and valued. And it's hard to do that if you just talk at them the whole time. Right. And they go, we good? Yeah.

And you never actually got to hear from them in a real way. Yeah. And then discuss KRA if needed. Yeah. And so this is where we look back at, hey, this is what we all said winning looks like. Are we good on that? Do we need to look back at that to make sure that we haven't gotten off track as more things got added to the point? Yeah, and I'd actually expand on this one a little bit.

I think, yeah, it's the KRA, which helps define, you know, how am I using my skill to add value to the business right now, right? But there's also other things, like you have an annual review. One of the things that gets lost throughout the course of the year is, hey, or, you know, a mid-year review. You know, hey, that feedback that I gave you in the annual review or the mid-year review, where do you bring that back up? Like the one-on-one is a fantastic place to do that. You know, so I think it's the KRA. You know, I think it's feedback that you gave people from the annual review. I think you said weekly reports earlier, which is a really, really big thing.

And what I'll say, too, particularly with like the weekly reports, is have what was in their weekly report at the top of your mind when they walk in. Oh, that's good. One of the things, one of the mistakes I see a lot of leaders make is somebody will come in for one-on-one and they'll be scattered and kind of disorganized. and they'll do the whole thing where it's like, oh, yeah, tell me where we left off last time. If you want to make somebody feel insignificant and kind of rob them of their dignity, that's a fantastic way to do it. You know, one thing I tell myself is be where your feet are, right? When somebody walks into my office, the two minutes before they walk in my office, I am burning a thousand brain calories to try to bring back to my mind. What do we talk about last, you know?

So the weekly report's a great thing to pull up. And don't be, you know, trying to still fire off four emails while they're walking the door telling you how their day's going. I actually want to talk a little bit more about that. All right. We'll get there. So the last piece is on this one sheet of what to do in a 101 is coach them and then do something about it. And so leaving with some action-oriented pieces, don't just tell me, hey, well, this was great. I love to hear from my leader, hey, here's what I'm doing it.

I'm going to meet with that person. I'm going to follow back up on Tuesday. It makes me feel more heard and seen when I know the leader's fighting those battles and is going to do something about it. Yeah. If you're a leader, imagine being on the other side of a leader conversation where the leader says, like, oh well that sounds hard good luck with that you know if you don't that is it's not comforting yeah it's not comforting you know we want to really give our team members the sense of like we're in this together and what that means is you got to listen to the things that are

a big challenge to them and do something about it and then follow back up with them follow through is important yeah follow through is really important hey you mind if i if i share real quick i've got like what i consider kind of three killer questions oh uh during during a one-on-one. All right, take notes if you're listening. Okay. These are the three things that I found great conversation starters will really get people talking about the things that matter. And the wording's real important on them. So the first thing I ask is, like, what's heaviest on your mind? Because what's really important is that you're actually addressing the thing that actually has them worried or concerned or stressed. And I hear a lot of people try to take different roads to get to that, but they're oftentimes not very successful at doing it.

I love the question, like, what's heaviest on your mind? You'll be really surprised what people share with you, because sometimes it'll be work, sometimes it'll be home, sometimes it'll be something else. Yeah, I like the intentional vagueness of that question. And if you have got a good relationship, and when I feel comfortable sharing with Brendan about what's really going on, you can get to a depth there that creates that trust

that helps your work relationship. Right, right. So the next one I got is, is there a decision that you need my help making? Right. kind of prodding that out of them a little bit. And if we get to a point, and it's not like I'm trying to create an environment of entrapment or anything like that, but if we ever get to a point where somebody makes a decision on their own that I'm uncomfortable with, I can kind of pull them back to that moment and say, hey, we talk about this a lot. What decision can I help you make?

And I feel like you stepped into a level of delegation I wasn't prepared to give you. It's a great time to coach. Yeah. And then the last one is, how do you need supported right now? It's like the first one. It's one of those super open-ended questions, not how do I need to support you right now? It's just how do you need support it? Right? So what do you need to do your job really, really well? You know, I found those three questions to be killer questions during one-on-ones. It opens up a lot of things that you would not expect. I love that. Thanks for sharing. So let's play a little game here, a little MAD lib for you. All right. Finish this sentence. Okay. A leader knows they've had a great one-on-one meeting when? When the person feels supported. when they actually feel like you've taken some takeaways from the conversation and they actually feel supported in their journey of what they're supposed to accomplish in their job. And generally, would you feel that after a one-on-one? Is that like a, is that a perception that this went well? How do you know that happened?

I think to me it's a lot in tone and body language. You know, I pay a lot of attention when somebody walks in the room, how they're feeling, how they're acting, what their tone is, what the kind of overall positive or negativity is and the kind of language. that they're using. And you just watch out that changes. So it's a snapshot at the beginning and a snapshot at the end. It's not a perfect science. It's like a date where you're like, I think that, I feel like, yeah, that was a good date. Yeah. We had a good time. You know, hold the jokes on that way. Thank you. Thank you. What I will say is you will bump into people. Like I've got a good friend of mine.

He owns a commercial electrician company. And I went and visited his team one time. The thing that I took away from like hanging out with all of these, like, seasoned, what would you call it? These guys that are in charge of construction sites, the foreman, right, is, man, are they hard to read? Really, really hard to read. If I were doing a one-on-one with somebody like that, I would move beyond, like, my own perception, and I'd just ask them to score it. If you have somebody that's hard to read, you can just like, okay, score one to five. How supported do you feel in this one-on-one? Just ask them. They'll tell you. So you're the guy who talks about how to have uncomfortable conversation. So I've got to ask you, how does a leader bring up a problem in a one-on-one? Well, the first thing I'll start with there is how not to do it. And you have a 30-minute one-on-one with somebody. The right time to bring up the uncomfortable thing you need to bring up with them is not at minute 28.

I see like... Just throw a grenade in there at the end. Right at the last minute because the leader is afraid of doing it, and I get it. You know, it is, it's a scary thing to do. But don't protect yourself. Don't protect yourself with the clock where I'm going to bring it up at minute number 28. So in two minutes, I have an excuse to get out of here if it's going bad, right? If you really want to build a dignified environment with people, just be up front with them. So, you know, what I always say to myself is if I've got to have an uncomfortable conversation with somebody, there is going to be absolutely

no BS at the beginning. Like within the first five seconds of them sitting down in my office, I'm just going get right into it. I'm going to say, hey, we need to have a little bit of an uncomfortable conversation, right from go. That's both for me and for them. It creates a lot of clarity for them, but it also doesn't let me play any games. You know, I've got to get right into it. So how do you recover from that afterwards? Because you still have maybe, you know, a good chunk of the meeting left to do your normal one-on-one pieces. Is there a nice way to transition out of that? Or is it just kind of like, all right, I know that was tough. Let's get back to the program. Well, that's a great point because I think that's something that a lot of people are afraid of. They bring it up

last because they're like, well, what would we talk about next? Here's the advice I give, particularly to newer leaders, is it's only weird if you make it weird. Uncomfortable conversations actually, the truth is... They're kind of matching your energy. Yeah, they're going to match your energy. It's contagious. Right. So if they detect that you're moving into uncomfortable territory, they're going to move on the uncomfortable territory. And then if you intentionally move out of uncomfortable territory, they generally will too. You know, if you're doing, dealing with like a chemically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy person. They're going to take the cues and follow you, right? So I, you know, I'll just get right into it. And it doesn't

need to be like a long talk. I tell people this all the time. Like, I'm by nature kind of a coaching personality. So I can spend, it's easy for me to try to like give people all the advice and all the tips and all of my experiences and the thing that they're struggling with. And there might be a time in place for that. But when you're first addressing something with somebody, just like get to the point. Be like, hey, this is the observed behavior that I'm seeing. I feel like it's a blinking red light, something we got to deal with right now. And there's also a difference between like bringing up a warning sign and actually having a formal uncomfortable conversation. I think what I'm kind of talking about here is a warning sign. If I had to have like a formal, you're probably

going to do it outside of a one-on-one. I'm probably not doing it in a one-on-one. And the reason for that is because I don't want people to form an association with the one-on-one that, hey, every 20 times I walk in here I get punched in the face. Here's everything I'm doing wrong. Right. Once a week. Yeah. Yeah.

You don't want that. Any other surprises that the leader should be prepared for during a one-on-one that might pop up? Yeah. So, you know, one thing that I'm always really fascinated by is, you know, I've been doing one-on-ones with people for, you know, 20 years. And there are still things that, like, people bring up that, like, take me off guard. And the truth is, really not much should come up in a one-on-one that takes you off guard.

So the reason why I like to share this info is because if you kind of keep it high in your mind, it helps you understand your level of preparedness that you need to be at during a one-on-one. So I think there's like three things that people will bring up that cause leaders to freeze. Like, I don't know how to deal with this. Yeah. People say like, hey, I don't feel like I'm getting enough feedback. Like, what are my weak spots? They want you to be direct with them.

They're asking because they want direct feedback. And the number of times that I hear leaders, like, they're unprepared for that. So they waffle and be like, you know, things are going really great right now. I mean, we could always be a little better. That's like, don't do that. You know, like have a thing in your mind that you're actively talking about. You know, somebody's asking you that you are not coaching them along their growth journey. So if they ask you, as a leader, you better have an answer, right?

I think the second thing that people will ask is what specific areas do I need to grow in? Those two things are kind of similar to each other. And then the third one is, what's holding me back from more responsibility? They won't usually ask it that way. They'll ask it in some other way. But what they're trying to ask is, why am I not getting more responsibility? Why am I not getting paid more? Why am I, like, go down the list of things that are attached to why am I not having more forward progress.

Yeah, more opportunities. So all those three, those three things are similar to each other. There's some nuance there. But the reality is, is like, you've, got to constantly keep that in your pocket as a leader. You could be saying that to somebody already, be in a pattern where you're talking about it, but it's not really clicked yet. Someday they might ask you, and you definitely need to be ready in that moment. So as we wrap here, what advice would you give leaders who maybe are doing one-on-ones for

the first time or they're doing a reset going, I haven't been doing these right? Right. I want to refresh. What advice would you give them as they start this? Yeah. I mean, I think number one, absolutely, bar none. Number one, do not be distracted during a one-on-one. It is the most disrespectful thing you can do to somebody. Like, as a leader, during your one-on-one, you know, they spend 39 and a half hours a week, not with you, just trying to carry out what it is that you want them to do.

Give them the 30 minutes. Give them your attention. You know, if you got to finish an email, say, hey, are you going to be okay if I spend 90 seconds finish in this email? you know, at least acknowledge anything that you've got to do that's inconsiderate. I literally, I stick my phone under my right leg while I'm in a one-on-one. I don't even look at it. I don't have a computer nearby. They get that 30 minutes. You know, I think that's really important. You have to tell them verbally and non-verbally, I value this time together. I think that's the number one thing that's most important.

Be present and let them know you value their time. Yeah. Yeah. Strong. Well, Brendan, always love having you on the podcast. Always love the wisdom you bring our leaders. Thanks for being here. Always love to be here. Thanks, George. All right, if you enjoyed today's episode of the show, be sure to follow, subscribe, and leave us a five-star review wherever you're listening. And share this episode with your friends, with your team, or on social media, so that we can impact more leaders like you. As always, you can follow us on social at Entree Leadership.

Until next time, keep learning and keep leading.