Epic Real Estate Investing - 2 Tips to Getting More Sellers Accepting Your Offers | Episode 192

Episode Date: February 1, 2016

There are two traits that will significantly improve your chances of a seller accepting your offer: confidence and likeability.  Today Matt explains how to develop both of these traits, overcome insecurities, and close the deal. ------- The free course is new and improved!  To access to the two fastest and easiest strategies to a paycheck in real estate, go to FreeRealEstateInvestingCourse.com or text “FreeCourse” to 55678. What interests you most? E.ducation P.roperties I.ncome C.oaching Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Terrio Media. Podcasting from Terrio Studios in Glendale, California, it's time for Epic Real Estate Investing with Matt Terrio. Yeah, what's up? Hello. Hello, and welcome. Welcome to Epic Real Estate Investing, the place where I show people how to escape the rat race using real estate. Just shift your focus from making piles of money to making streams of money, do that one thing, one time, and you are all. on your way. Not the most exciting path, though, but it is the fastest. And once you get there,

life then becomes exciting. And it's sure been exciting around here this last week. First and foremost, thank you to the Epic Pro Academy members for your patience in the recent transition that we just made from version 2.0 to version 3.0 of the Epic Pro Academy. It's got a completely new look, completely a new functionality. But the good news is the hard part is over in It's behind us. And now over the next couple weeks, I'm going to be going through each page one by one, making sure everything is up to snuff specifically regarding, you know, the links and the resources. Those teams seem to be the things that get killed in migrations from one platform to another.

So I want to make sure that all works. And then there's also many new services and resources that I've been using since I created the Academy originally. So I want to make sure everything is updated and, you know, with all the same stuff that I'm using here in my own business. And finally, you can also count on seeing new lessons in training regularly. As soon as I make this one pass through to clean everything up, you can count on that. So thanks again. I know it was a bit painful for a few days, but it seems it's behind us. And just understand it's all in the interest of creating the ultimate training environment for real estate investors.

Second thing, we just put a new live grub and grow rich event on the calendar. That's going to be held in Los Angeles, Manhattan Beach specifically, on February, 24th. So for more information and to reserve your seat, go to grub and grow rich.com. It's a very informal event where we just talk about real estate. There'll be a small educational piece in the beginning. It's going to be then followed by Q&A and then by mingling and networking and of course grubbing. So go to grub and grow rich.com and you can meet the epic team and we can hang out, grub and grow rich.com. All righty. Let's get down to business. I want to give you a I give you two things today.

Two things to think about something to maybe modify that is going to help you get more contract signed. It's going to help you close more business. Okay, so the first one is being confidence. Confidence. The second one is being likable. So let's cover the subject of confidence first, especially in regard to when you lack confidence.

All right. So people, they are attracted to confident people. right? And you're interacting with people and you want to be attractive. So people are attracted to confident people and you want to be attractive especially to motivated sellers, right? That's what I'm talking about. I mean, you can be attractive to the opposite sex. I guess it will work in that environment as well, but we're talking about the motivated seller. And, you know, people are attracted to confident people and the reason being is everyone has insecurities, right? Whether on the surface or not, everyone has them. And it's typically something that someone doesn't like about themselves. That's

why they're insecure about it. And people are attracted to people who seem to have that specific thing figured out. And when you're speaking to a seller, their insecurity at the moment is their distress. So whether it's their personal distress or their financial distress or the property's distress, and they're looking for someone to alleviate that distress. And the person of which they're confident in, the person that exhibits confidence around their area of distress, is far and away ahead of the others that lack that confidence.

in that area. Makes sense? Now, with experience comes confidence. It comes naturally. So the more you're in the business, the more transactions you do, the more confident you will become, and that'll be who you are. And then you won't really have probably have to think about it. But what do you do when you're just not feeling it? What do you do where, you know, you're not feeling confident because you're just getting started or you only done one transaction or you feel you're too young or you're too old or you're too fat or you're too tall or whatever it may be. There's times where we need to be confident. We're just not feeling it.

And when you feel insecure about the conversation you're about to have with a seller, then, you know, it can be an uphill battle. And you might lose a deal and might not even know why. So we've all heard the phrase, fake it until you make it. And that's essentially what I'm going to recommend. But I'm not going to just leave it so vague in general. give you some specific things to do. There are some specific things you can do to exude confidence to the person that you're speaking to.

And in return, confidence can actually be instilled in you. See, what I mean by that is we typically act how we think other people perceive us. You know, a quick example is you act differently with your old school friends than you do with the people that you do business with. You might be wild and crazy Larry, wild and crazy Mary with your school friends, but then you're all, you know, you're straight and narrow business. doer when you're doing business. So, I mean, without getting too deep into that, the people in our environment actually give us our being. So if your being is to fake your confidence with a seller,

the seller will see you as confident, thereby returning actual confidence to you and eventually does become natural, even it can happen really, really quickly on that same meeting. And then another way to look at this is with the idea that motion creates emotion. And, you know, so if you act a certain way physically, you will emotionally start to feel that internally. And that brings me to the first tip in generating confidence when you're just not feeling it. And that is body language.

Body language, it's subtle, but it can send a very powerful message without you even realizing it. I think there's a statistic. I heard it several times. I think it's like 70% of your communication is through your body, not even the words that you're speaking. So, it's subtle, but it's significant. You know, for example, a few habits that will automatically call you out as lacking confidence, bad posture, slouching, hunched shoulders, fidgeting, crossed arms, lack of eye contact, you know, swapping those out with the right body language can immediately help you appear more confident.

You know, movements that are more open, spread out, and take up a bit more room. help exude power? You know, consider the Superman pose, for example. You know, the chest is up, the shoulders are back, the elbows are jetting out, taking up a bunch of space and the feet are spread out. You know, it's a classic power pose. And what's more, practicing these high power poses can eventually help you feel more confident.

It's hard to stand that way and not have confidence to have your chest out and your hands on your hip and elbows out and shoulders back and head up, it's hard, it's hard to feel anything but confident in that position. That's what I mean by motion creates emotion. You know, how you carry your shoulders specifically can be a big indicator of self-confidence or the lack thereof. You know, the FBI, when they're interviewing suspects, they pay really close attention to the interviewee's shoulders. They're really watching the shoulders as they they've discovered when people are unsure of what they are saying or if they lack confidence, their shoulders tend to reflect that uncertainty.

So, you know, raising your shoulders in almost a shrug, that can be a dead giveaway that you're uncertain and not confident. Instead, stand up straight and pull the shoulders back, all right? It's obvious, I know, and probably advice your mother gave you, but it makes a difference. And you can use this as a tool when you're just not feeling 100%. All right. So second tip, mastering eye contact. You know, not enough eye contact can obviously indicate a lack of confidence, but too much eye contact can make you feel like you're trying too hard and you could possibly come across as aggressive or a weirdo. You want to maintain

just the right amount. But, you know, finding that sweet spot, it's not that difficult. Okay, so don't be afraid if you're overdoing it or undoing it. As a general rule, just try to make eye contact, say, 60% of the time. time. And of course, that's going to vary on the situation, but it's less about the exact percentage, and it's more about making sure you're engaging with someone without coming across as overly intense. All right? And here's something I do when I'm not feeling it, or a little nervous about a situation. And when I meet someone that I want to come across as confident, I don't want them to know that I'm nervous. I look them in their eye, and I really

look at them to notice their eye color, and then I pair their name with their eye color, so I get a good amount of eye contact right at front, and I remember their name. And then I try to interject their name a few times in the conversation. I've seen that just really pull people's guard down and put you in a position of control. And then all of a sudden you do feel a little bit more confident. You know, Mercedes, she actually taught me this. I mean, she didn't teach it to me, but I've observed her how she does it naturally. and what she does is she uses people's names frequently when she first meets them.

And especially if they have a name badge on, oh, but she'll go right to the name badge and start calling them by their name right away. And when she does that, I've seen it. People really light up. And when people light up, you light up. That's how it comes back to you. You know, this one, I guess here could be used in creating confidence and being more likable, but it's just a good overall tip that I use.

And that leads me to our third tip, charisma. you want to learn the components of charisma. You know, confident people are often charismatic people. And those two traits, they go hand in hand. While, you know, confidence is focused more on, you know, habits and behaviors. Charisma is about how you treat and interact with others. So in short, you just want to be engaged. You want to be interested.

You know, if you want people to see you as interesting, then you have to be interested. Okay. So being charismatic, it really comes down to three things. Being present in the moment with others, exuding warmth by implying goodwill, and appearing powerful by coming across someone who's just capable of impacting the world around them. And one little thing that I do or that you can do that will satisfy all three of those, it's called the two-second rule that can really help you with the first point of just being present with others. It's really simple.

Before replying, when it's your turn to talk, just wait two seconds. For one, this shows that you're listening and processing what the other person is saying. However, it also creates a subtle moment of tension. And when you reply, that shows that you're in charge of the tone and the flow of the conversation, which creates a sense of power and confidence hitting on the third point. So that two-second rule kind of hits all three of those points. And then asking questions is also. a great, simple way to exude warmth and be present in an interaction with someone else.

You know, interestingly, you're also controlling the conversation when you ask questions, which, again, shows power, shows confidence. Right. Another tip to help create confidence when you're just not feeling it. Sound like you know what you're talking about. Just sound like it. And I'm not necessarily referring to the content of what you're saying, although that helps, but in how you sound saying it.

You know, a few quick and easy ways to do that include avoiding blank words. Like, like, like, like, um, uh, you know. See, there's one. You don't want to do that. It's difficult. Don't jump at the first chance to speak either. Take a moment and think about your reply. That's kind of what the two-second rule.

Don't jump at that first chance you can speak. Don't sit there and wait for the air to create an opening for you and jump right. in, you know, sitting there waiting for the other person just to just take a breath, just take a breath so I can start talking. No, no, no, don't jump at that first chance. And then, when you do talk, talk slowly and calmly. And beyond that, you want to emphasize what you do know. You don't have to know at all to exude confidence in the way that you talk. But you do want to emphasize what you do know. I mean, if you don't have the best answer to a question, don't try to lie or cover it up with confidence. No, don't do that. But finish up your answer with,

what you do know instead. For example, I don't know. No, I don't, sorry, Mr. Seller, I don't know exactly how a short sale works, but I do have access to people that do. And I've yet to encounter a challenge. I couldn't at least offer one solution. So that's just a little silly example.

But I said that up front that I'm not sure how the short sale works, but you know what, we got a solution for it because I do know how to do that. And I haven't had a situation where I couldn't offer at least one solution. Okay, so this is a silly example, but you get the idea. You want to emphasize what you do know. And one thing most of us are guilty of is trying to prove other people wrong. Nobody likes that person that says, I told you so, or the one that, you know, that's just trying to be right all the time.

It's tempting, I know, to put people in their place because there's so many wrong people out there, right? It's tempting to do that. But it can also make you come across as lacking confidence. It means, it's one thing to clear the air about a question that you're asked, but dwelling on why you're right makes it seem like you're trying to prove yourself. You know, confidence is not about being better than everyone else. It's just about having the assurance to be able to be yourself. So it seems a little ironic to suggest pretending to be more comfortable in your skin, right? I mean, but there's something to be said for the cliche, fake it until you make it.

Oftentimes, going with the motions makes you feel them. Motion creates emotion. So practice this enough, and confidence interacting with sellers will eventually come natural to you, and you'll find yourself no longer faking it. Now, overdoing it can come across as cocky, and in most cases, this will be a disservice to you. People tend to, most people don't like someone who's a little bit overaggressive, overconfident, cocky. So you want to be confident and likable with sellers. So that's another cliche you've heard right here.

Right here, people do business with people they know like and trust. And of these three, I think likable by itself will get you more business than any of the other two by themselves. So let's cover seven secrets of being more likable now. We've covered the confidence. Now let's talk about being likable. And we'll do that right after this. You've got the knowledge. Now get the funding.

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So go get yours. Epicfastfunding.com. All right, let's get to the seven secrets of being more likable. When meeting someone for the first time, I've got my own approach to this. you know, when meeting someone for the first time and to be more likable, I've always focused on just listening more than I speak. And when I do speak, I like to talk about the person that I'm talking to. I've noticed people like to talk about themselves. And they like when people are talking about them too. I mean, people who are interested in who they are. You know, like I said earlier, if you want to be

interesting, you first have to be interested. And then avoid being negative, avoid gossip, and smile. basic stuff, right? It's served me well and it's been enough. It's served me well enough. I mean, I can certainly look back and see moments in my life where I didn't follow these simple guidelines and because of that, I wasn't so likable. So it might not be the magic potion that turns the deal on for you. But by neglecting them, it can certainly turn the possibility of you getting that deal off. So be conscious of this stuff when meeting with sellers because they're likely to do business with the person that they like the most. If they're going to do business, they're going to choose the person they like the most.

I mean, sure, price and terms absolutely talks, okay? But when all is equal, the tiebreaker will go to the more likable person. Anyway, over the holidays, I stumbled upon this article at ink.com written by Lolly Daskell. And she shared the seven secrets of being more likable. So let's hear about them in her words. I shared what I do in mine. Let's see what she says. Number one, being smart is good.

Being social is better. People like smart people. But smart people are especially susceptible to certain social mistakes, like interrupting, like discounting other people's input, or cultivating a no at all error about themselves. Don't let your intelligence hold you back socially. Be a likable person and spend more time being engaging. All right.

So that's number one. Number two, have fun. seriously. Being fun is a trait people generally appreciate in others. But situational awareness is the key to knowing how to play and when to play. Be sensitive to what's going on around you. There will be times your playful side can have free reign, but at others it will be necessary to hold back. The trick will be in knowing when to have fun and when to be serious.

Number three, draw people out. This one is a, be curious about other people. and make a point of finding out what is fascinating and unique about them. Don't hog the conversation but truly listen. Make it your mission to discover what makes those around you interesting. And because people love talking about themselves, you'll gain a reputation as a great conversationalist and extremely personable. So this is the, I think this one right here, this one, you focus on this one,

you've got 90% of it licked. You're going to be a likable person if you're just curious about other people. and you make it a point of finding out more about the person and being interested in them and all of a sudden you become interesting. Okay. So that's drawing people out, being curious. Number four, keep communication collaborative. Don't make your conversations a monologue, but a dialogue.

Make it a partnership in which both parties contribute. Find a topic, ideally not too controversial or divisive about which everyone has something to say. Then listen as the ideas begin to weave around one another. Number five, an attitude of positivity and praise goes a long way. Definitely. Don't be afraid to be positive and encouraging. If someone looks nice or is well dressed or played the piano incredibly well, tell them. If you think someone is funny or interesting, let them know.

People are drawn to positivity. Number six, pay attention to nonverbal communication, not just your own, but to others. Pay attention not just to the words you're saying, but also your pace, your tone of voice and your body language. I mean, posture, gesture. eye contact or gestures and eye contact and facial expressions, they all send messages. If you're avoiding eye contact, standing far away, or crossing your arms, you're likely telling others that you don't want to interact. And that goes both ways.

If you're sitting there talking and you see someone kind of dozing off or they cross their arms or they start to back up, maybe it's time to disengage or maybe it's time to put the ball back in their lap and let them have their space or have their time. So if you adopt a confident stance, smile, make eye contact, stand up right, and uncross your arms, you are more likely to make a good impression. Number seven, present the best parts of who you are. The person who is most liked is one whose actions match his or her words, who presents an authentic self in every situation.

We are judged by four things. What we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it. Our social skills and deeper relationships are happiest when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind. I think that's really important one, being authentic, being who you are. The secret to being more likable is to make your social skills a priority in your life. Start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can. All righty, so although this article seems to be, I guess, targeted more towards social environments,

I would have to say practicing these would go over handsomely with sellers. There was two of them in there that I teach inside the academy. We've talked about it here on the show, and I even said it, before I even read her article. Practicing is that they're going to go over really well with sellers, especially sellers with personal distress. You know, much may be common sense to you here. You might not have learned anything.

Or maybe you've got one little thing, but maybe there's just all common sense. But when big checks are on the line, it makes sense to check in with these every now and then. And then make sure you're not regularly violating any of these guidelines. It could be costing you money. So be conscious of them. In fact, maybe listen to this episode on your way to your next meeting with a seller and see if

it makes a difference. I mean, just by inserting one of these that you normally wouldn't do, I bet it will make a difference. Try it. Real estate has produced more millionaires and billionaires than anything else. That's common knowledge. But why haven't you started? Why is real estate still an uncommon investment?

Not enough time? Don't know how? Too much work? Regardless of your reason for not investing in real estate or not investing in real estate is much as you'd like, cash flow savvy has a solution. Take the first step and go to cashflowsavvy.com. Download our free investor package and get on track to becoming real estate's next millionaire. Cashflow savvy.com. That's it for today. I'm Matt Terrio. Living the dream. Baby, baby. You've been listening to Epic Real Estate Investing, the world's foremost authority

on separating the facts from the BS in real estate investing education. If you enjoyed the show, please take a minute to visit iTunes and share your thoughts. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time here at Epic Real Estate Investing with Matt Terrio. If opening up your financial statement each month is about as exciting as watching paint dry, the Epic Wealth Fund may be the next investment opportunity for you. The Epic Wealth Fund invests in distressed real estate and shares the profits with its shareholders. If you're an accredited investor who has already enjoyed success elsewhere in their business or investing life, and you're seeking a broader exposure to real estate in your portfolio on a passive basis, the Epic Wealth Fund's executive summary is available

for your review. Go to EpicWealthfund.com to review the funds executive summary. Epicwealthfund.com Real estate investments involve a high degree of risk. Residential income and returns may vary, and are not guaranteed. Past performance is no indication of future performance. Nothing herein shall be construed as investment, tax, legal, or accounting advice. This podcast is a part of the C-suite Radio Network. For more top business podcasts, visit c-sweetradio.com.