Epic Real Estate Investing - Dying Lessons to a Better Life | 1052

Episode Date: June 17, 2020

What are you giving up, right now, because you are concerned with what other people will think of you if you take action on what you want? Matt Theriault In today's episode, Matt discusses the top 5 regrets of the dying so that you can do something about it now as opposed to waiting until it's too late. Tune in and find out more! This episode is in honor and celebration of those that we loved, and continue to love, that are no longer with us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Terrio Media. Success in real estate has nothing to do with shiny objects. It has everything to do with mastering the basics. The three pillars of real estate investing. Attract, convert, exit. Matt Terrio has been helping real estate investors do just that for more than a decade now. If you want to make money in real estate, keep listening. If you want it faster, visit R-E-I-A's.

Here's Matt. Hey Matt here. Welcome to another episode of the epic real estate investing show. It is way back Wednesday. This is the day where we reach back into the archives and pull out old classic episodes. And we've been reaching back into the archives of the Doover podcast, the podcast that started it all. And I got another great one for you today.

Enjoy. During an era where countless people, businesses, and organizations are feeling the pinch, Running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, feeling as if life is unfair, praying for another chance, and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Fortunately, in the nick of time, there is now a place where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results, and making life work are revealed. Save your career. Save your business. Save your health. Save your relationships.

Save your life. Get from where you are to where you want to be, faster, and with greater ease than you ever thought possible. Say hello to your do-over. Welcome, this is episode 62 of the Your Do-Over podcast, and this is Matt the Do-Over Guy Terrio. And this is the place. This place right here is where I show people who want more out of life,

people dissatisfied with their current situation, people who are sick and tired of being sick and tired or even people that are okay with life. They're not too mad about how it's going right now, but they just want a little bit more out of it, and that's okay. This is the place where I show them all how to start over and begin a new life, setting goals and objectives so that they can create wealth and they can create financial freedom

and they can create the lives of their dreams, and then they can live that life to its fullest. And you can get your do-over started fast by laying a solid foundation when you download the three pillars of creating the ultimate do-over for free. I mean, you can get that for free at free-dover.com. Free do-over.com. It's a 55-minute MP3 audio program that I made just for you,

just for you listening to me right now with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over. And that is yours for free at freedover.com. Okay, hello. It's great to be back. It's been a few months. I missed you guys.

I've been working really hard on my own do-over. That's where I've been. That's what I've been doing. and if you want to get a more detailed account of what I've actually been doing, I shared that with my epic real estate investing audience. So if you're interested in how my do-over is going and what it's all about, you can head over to the Epic Real Estate Investing podcast. That's episode number 42.

It's a very real estate-related subject because most of my do-over revolves around real estate. So it just seemed to be a better fit for that podcast. I mean, I just don't see any need now to go over. the details twice and create a duplicate episode. I split this podcast up for a reason. And besides, I've got what I think is an even better show for you today. All right? You see, as I've been grinding away the last few months, really working, you know, six to seven days a week, 10 to 12 hours a day, and it's certainly paid off. I mean, it's paying off very well. The last six months have been my best, my absolute best six months since the music business.

And that was a long time ago. But just a couple of weeks ago, I was scrolling through my Twitter account. And one of the people that I follow is Tim Ferriss, author of the 4-hour Workweek. And I noticed a tweet from him. He had tweeted an article from The Guardian News. It was an article written by Susie Steiner. And this article was titled, Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

And this article essentially stopped me in my tracks. It had my undivided attention. I stopped everything I was doing. I went on to read the whole thing. and I didn't read it because I'm dying and nor is anyone that I know dying but it did strike a chord with me. You see, there was a nurse

and the subject of the article, this nurse, she recorded the most common regrets of the dying. And among the top ones is, I wish I hadn't worked so hard. And that's kind of where it sucked me in. That's where it hit me. I work really hard.

And I enjoy what I do. So I'm not complaining. And I just work really. hard and I've been working really hard on my do-over, especially these last six months. So I'm going to basically just loosely read from this article that was written by Susie Steiner, published in the Guardian News. I want to make sure that I give credit to where credit is due. And as I'm reading through this, I want you to think about your own life and your own do-over

and see what applies. I mean, maybe some of it, maybe all of it, or maybe none of it. And that's okay. But if there's something here to get, something to learn from those that have, been there before us, it will all be worth it. Okay? I mean, one of my all-time, uh, favorite quotes. And I've referenced it several times here on the show. It's just, it's one of the building blocks of the show, actually. It's, uh, learned from other people's mistakes as you won't be here long enough to make them all by yourself. That comes from Mr. Mark Twain. And I love that quote,

because we're not going to be here to, to learn all the mistakes on our own. And, and why would we want to, especially if there's a shortcut, especially if we can learn from other people's mistakes. So let's see what we can learn today from other people's regrets. By the way, in this article, there was no mention of more sex or more bungee jumping. All right? And the nurse, her focus or her specialty is on relieving and preventing the suffering of patients in their last days. And in her patients' last days, they commonly reveal to her their biggest regrets, their last words of wisdom. So here's the context for today.

If this were your last day of life, what would be your biggest regret? Okay. If this were your last day of life, what would be your biggest regret? So let's go through this article together and see if what you think would be your biggest regret. See if that matches up with the dying.

One thing that the nurse had noticed is that, you know, in your dying days, you get this amazing sense of clarity, a level of clarity that might not exist for you until you are actually experiencing the end. So, I just want to, I'm bringing that up because the context is, if this were your last day of life,

what would be your biggest regret? So let's see if what your clarity is right now matches up with the extreme clarity of the dying, okay? and I want to create, this is not really about death. It's more of an honor to those. And thank you to Brani Ware. She's the nurse, her name. And just thank you for bringing this to our attention and sharing this information with us.

She's an Australian nurse who recorded these dying epiphanies, and she published them in a book, and it's titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Now, I haven't read it, but if you like what you hear today and you want to read more, that's the title of Bronny's book, the top five. regrets of the dying. Okay, so here we go. Here are the top five regrets of the dying as witnessed by Nurse Brony Ware. Number one, I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others

expected of me. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. And this was actually the most common regret of all. I mean, when people realize that their life is almost over and they look back really clearly on it. I mean, it's just, it's easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. I mean, most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices that they had made or not made. I mean, health brings a freedom, very few realize, until they no longer have it.

You know, and as you all, as you all know, I've shared with you, I'm a recent father, My son Mateo is just a month shy of one and a half. That's that 17 months. And for those of you that are parents out there, I don't have to tell you. You already know this, but this is a brand new experience for me. You know,

and as I'm watching Mateo grow up, I'm noticing when babies come into this world, they really have no concept of what other people think about them. They just do what they do because they want to do it. And it hasn't happened yet, but at some point, I know this is going to happen at some point, Mattel's going to experience a moment where he'll be concerned about what someone else thinks of him. And it will actually alter his action.

I mean, it'll be altered in a way that he won't do what he wants to do because he's concerned what someone else will think of him. And as adults, we all know, it only gets worse from here, right? It only gets worse. So here's the question that came to mind when I read this dying regret. and you'll want to address this for yourself as we all we all have an answer even if we don't think we have one we all do so be honest with yourself all right be honest with yourself you don't have to share this with anybody it's just you and me here so just answer to yourself because you do have an

answer what are you giving up right now because you are concerned with what other people will think if you were to take it on you were to take action on that on what you want what are you giving up. And this question, it really got me down to the root of this one quote that you see. You see it all over the place. It's all over the place, and you'll know what it is just second. I mean, I believe it's actually an old Irish proverb, but there are many people who have switched it up a bit, made it their own, and they take credit for it, but it doesn't really

matter. Here's the gist. Work like you don't need the money. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live life every day as if it were your last. We've all heard a version of that somewhere in our life. And that really ties into this first dying regret, doesn't it?

I mean, I wish I had had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. So ask yourself, and write your answer down. Write it down so first you don't forget. And second, so that you can do something of it. about it. What are you giving up right now because you are concerned with what other people will think if you were to take it on?

Okay, dying wish number two. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. And I mentioned this one in the beginning, and it's the very regret that caused me to read even further, as this really does apply to my life at the very moment, at this very moment. And this regret, it came from every male patient that Bronny nursed. Men, they really just, they missed their children's youth, and they missed their partner's companionship. And they, they wish they

hadn't worked so hard. And women, they also spoke of this regret, but as most were an older generation, many of the female patients, they had not been the breadwinners of the family. All of the men that she nursed deeply, though, deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill. of a work existence. And I actually just took action on this one last night. You know, all this information doesn't need no good unless you actually do something with it, right? So I took this information, I took action on it last night, and, you know, I'm getting ready to head to Vegas for a convention for the next week.

And I'm heading out tonight, actually, and I'm getting on a plane, actually, in just a few hours. And I had a ton of stuff to do last night to prepare for my trip. And I still have a little bit to do, but I had a ton last night. but my family was invited last night by another family, some good friends of ours, to go to the beach, Manhattan Beach, and watch a Christmas fireworks show. And with this particular article at the top of mind, I just instinctively said yes. I've got a ton to do, but yes, I'm going. Work can wait.

So, I went, had an awesome time, got home about 11 o'clock, I put my son to bed, and then I stayed up for a few more hours. and got all of my work done. I mean, it was a small little event. There was just a little firework demonstration of the Christmas celebration down at the beach. But we had a blast, and that's really what it was all about. And this morning, it just felt so good that I told my work,

hey, work, you can wait. So that felt really good. And I'm going to take this on. I'm going to do it as often as I can. So the question is, are you working to the detriment of time with your loved ones, the people you care about most in this world? are you working to the detriment of the people that you care most about in this world? If you are, what are you going to do about it?

What can you do right now? This is the question. What can you do right now to show that person or people how much you care about them? Oh, and words don't count, by the way. They don't count all by themselves. It must be words accompanied by action. And if this dying regret, I wish I hadn't worked so hard applies to you.

That's your homework assignment, okay? what can you do right now to show that person or people how much you care about them? You got to take action on it. Right, that's your assignment if this one applies. Dying wish number three. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. I wish I had had the courage to express my feelings. Now, I'm getting much better at this one, the older that I get,

because it seems to be the older I get. The less I do actually care what other people think about. And I've been much better at expressing my feelings. feelings over this last decade. But I can really see in my past where I frequently bit my tongue where I had opened my mouth and expressed my feelings. In hindsight, I can see where it would have served me and served others positively. I mean, I avoided that short-term pain. I chose that short-term comfort by suppressing my feelings. But that results in long-term pain. When you choose that short-term comfort, it results in the long-term pain. And

That's why a lot of us will suppress our feelings. I mean, many people on their deathbeds, they recognized how they suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. And as a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of being. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment that they carried as a result.

So the question here is, and I've referred to this in the past as an integrity check, what in your life right now has been left unsaid? What is left unsaid? Where are you suppressing your feelings? How is it affecting you? How is it affecting others? How can you get back into integrity

and express your feelings in a way so that everyone is better for it in the long run? That's an important part of this question that you want to answer, so that everyone is better for it in the long run. I mean, most of the time we suppress our feelings because we are looking to avoid that short-term pain. We're choosing that short-term comfort. But by avoiding that short-term pain, it turns into

long-term pain, doesn't it? You can all look back in and see examples of that in our lives. So I invite you to take on that short-term pain right now. I invite you to do it and to experience that long-term comfort. That's what we really want, is the long-term comfort for all of those that are impacted. Okay? That's one of the conditions. It has to positively impact everybody for the long-term. Now, maybe there's something there for you or maybe not. However, I would be willing to bet that there is. I'd be willing to place money on that. You know why I would do that?

Because you're a human. We all do it. Nobody is exempt. And I understand, this can be a scary one. This is a scary proposition, I know. But the long-term benefits are typically always worth taking on that short-term pain or that short-term risk. A lot of times you're going to take on that short-term pain. You're going to find out it wasn't that painful.

back more times than not. But hey, you know your situation better than I do. So take that on. If you want to try that on, take it on. There's miracles waiting for you on the other side of that one. Dying regret number four. Dying regret number four. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. I mean, often the dying would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until, you know, they're dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their lives that they had let golden friendships just slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and the effort that they had deserved.

I mean, everyone misses their friends when they're dying. And, oh, man, this is a huge one for me. I am so guilty of this. I've been absolutely terrible at staying in touch with my friends. And I acknowledge that every time that I do see them. And I say I'm going to get better. And I'm going to stay in touch with this person. I really enjoy this person's company.

I always have fun with this person. And I just, this is my friend. This is what friends should do. They should stay in touch with each other. And I even acknowledge that when I do see them, and I still fail at this one. So this is a new practice that I'm really taking on for the new year. It's going to be definitely one of my resolutions.

I'm taking this on for the new year and beyond. This is going to become a habit. I'm committed to this. So, who can you call today to just say hello? Who can you call today to just say hello for the sake of saying hello? I bet we can all come up with a person. I bet we can all come up with a significant list, actually. So if this applies, make a list.

And, hey, this is the holiday season. It's the perfect time of the year to do it. too. But if you're listening to this somewhere in the future, like in July in the summer, that's a perfect time as well. All right. Dying wish number five. Um, I wish that I had let myself be happier. Interesting, isn't it? I wish that I had let myself be happier. And to the nurse, this was surprisingly a common regret. I mean, many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stuck in old patterns and habits.

The so-called comfort of familiarity that overflowed into their emotions as well as their physical lives. You know, fear of change had them pretending to others and to themselves. They were just content when deep within, they long to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. And I don't really have a comment on this one. I mean, Nurse Brony Ware, she covered that one completely, in my opinion. And, you know, I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Happiness, it's indeed a choice. So, your homework on this one? Very simple. Happiness is indeed a choice, and your homework is to choose. Okay. That's it for today. And I want to thank Ms. Brony Ware for her work and sharing her work with us. there's some real golden nuggets in there.

And I want to thank Susie Steiner for her article in the Guardian News and bringing this work to our attention, bringing Nurse Bronyware to our attention. There's something really life-changing here. There's some life-changing stuff in today's episode. So stop caring what other people think. Stop working so much to where it leads to the detriment of your loved ones. Stop suppressing your feelings.

Get back in touch with your old friends into regular communication with your friends and choose to be happy. Choose to be happy. And lastly, I'm going to leave you with this. Another one of my all-time favorite quotes. Stop taking life so seriously. None of us are getting out alive. Live your time here on earth to the fullest. And now finally, I know I said lastly, but now this is the final.

I'm going to hold up a mug of my fine Irish logger and cheers to you with this. Irish proverb. Work like you don't need the money. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live life every day as if it were your last. God loves you and so do I. I am Matt the do-over guy and I will see you on the next episode of your do-over. Thank you for tuning in to your do-over where the ignored, underestimated and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. And remember, knowledge is potential power. Take action on what you learned today. This is not your learnover. It's your do-over. To view the resources referenced in today's show and to retrieve a complete show transcript,

visit www. www.the-doover guy.com. Stay connected with Matt the do-over guy Terrio on Twitter at the doover guy and on Facebook at www.com.com. slash doover guru. This podcast is a part of the C-suite Radio Network. For more top business podcasts, visit c-sweetradio.com.