Epic Real Estate Investing - Emotional Triggers for Maximum Results | HTH028 | 598

Episode Date: February 27, 2019

To achieve the goals in life you have to identify your emotional triggers. Therefore, today, we are tapping into your triggers and fears for the maximum results of your business. Stay tuned and learn what the emotional triggers are, what motivates us to get up and work every day, and how fear can influence your success.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Terrio Media. Don't wait for appreciation to buy real estate. Buy for cash flow and wait. In other words, Hold That House. Your host's Matt Andrews and Matt Terrio. Hey, flipping houses can make you rich, holding them will make you wealthy. This is the Hold That House show.

I am Matt Terrio, and over there is Mr. Matt Andrews. Say what? And before we begin, we've got. got a free gift for you, go to hold thathouse.com and download the four-hour work month, the 10 commandments to managing property managers. It's the key ingredient to financial independence through real estate that they are not telling you about. And you can get that for free at hold that house.com.

Absolutely. And guys, that's going to save you a lot of time and money because it cost Matt and I a lot of time and money to learn those 10 commandments. So take advantage of that, guys. Don't make the same mistakes we made early on in our business. Learn from our mistakes. Learn how to effectively manage those property managers. It doesn't matter if you have the best property in the world.

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That was a $500,000 lesson from me. Oof. It cost me a half a million dollars to be able to write that sentence from a place of experience. Wow. Yeah. All right. It's not going to happen. you guys. And it's yours for free.

That's right. Well, if it does, that's on you. That's your fault. That's right. After you have it, you can't forget it. Exactly. Now you have no excuse. That's right. All right. So today we're talking about something a little bit differently, but possibly the most important part of your business. Yeah, I think it is. Tapping into your emotional triggers for maximum results. And I'm reading a book right now that I just shared with Matt. And it's a nice, cool little book called Cash Flow Forever. So it got my attention. Author is Jeff K. Johnson. And he has a chapter in here called What is Your Emotional

Trigger? And so let me just, I'm going to read a little bit of this and then some examples and then, you know, you kind of go through an introspective research on yourself and figure out, you know, what really drives you. Yeah. Because it is, this is a very important part of your business, of any business, but real estate for sure. To achieve my goals in life, I learned early on that I needed to identify what I call my emotional triggers. What deep issues energize me to get up in the morning and work hard to achieve my goals? What are my real underlying motivations to succeed? Each of us needs to ask ourselves these questions. We need to find out what drives us. So ask yourself, what are the deep emotional triggers in my life that will keep me focused on reaching my goals

no matter how great the obstacles I encounter? Now, go on and just read this next paragraph. It's been said that that money can't buy happiness. That is definitely true. And I know this is for certain money can't buy motivation. I have seen many people try real estate investing in their desire to get rich. Each time they encounter a few challenges and their real estate investing career comes to an end. The desire just to own a lot of real estate and to be wealthy simply isn't enough. There needs to be a more powerful, more compelling reason to keep each of us on track to achieve

our goals. All righty? So true. So I can really agree with that. So here are some examples. What are some emotional triggers? And he has a list of examples. These are really good examples.

That's why I wanted to share them with you. First, maybe you are a nerd in high school and want to prove that to your classmates and the world that you are somebody, right? Or your family moved from rental home to rental home while you were growing up and you have a deep desire to have the stability that comes with owning real property. Or your mother and father never thought you would amount to anything and you're going to prove to them that you have. succeeded in life. Or you never went to college and you desperately want your children to have the benefits of a college education. Or you will do whatever it takes to retire at a young age. I can identify with that one. Yeah. Exactly. Other is that you struggled academically in high school or flunk out of your freshman year of college but told yourself you would succeed at something.

One of your longtime friends has become a successful real estate investor and you believe that if he can do it, so can you. That's a good way of thinking. A lot of people think if they can't do it, then I can't. But this is a better way to look at that. Sure. You grew up poor and have a deep desire for some of the material comforts in life. Or you admire a financially successful person and want to be like them. So those are some examples of emotional triggers of what drive us to succeed and why we probably chose real estate because we think that's going to be access to satisfying that emotional trigger. We'll be back with more right after this. If waiting for your investments to grow feels like waiting for pink to drive.

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So, Matt, what is your big emotional trigger and how do you use it to get the success that you've gotten? Yeah, absolutely. You know, we talk, and you and I have talked about this a lot, you know, together, just as we're helping each other grow our businesses. And, you know, we talk about it as our why. You know, what's the why behind what we're doing? What is that emotional trigger? What's the driving force? And it can't just be, it can't just be, I want to make this much money.

Or it can't even, I mean, I guess it could be, you know, materialistic thing that gives you, some kind of, you know, it helps you achieve an end, but it's usually most effectively not something like that either. It's, it's something that drives you beyond money, beyond, uh, antiquated, what I call antiquated measures of success, like how bigger house is or what kind of car you drive. Even though, you know, we still look at those things as measures of success, freedom is really the true measure of success now, I think, you know, especially for entrepreneurs, is how much freedom do you have to live the life you want. Um, and it all ties back to your why. So for me, And this is going to sound a little bit, I don't know, I'm going to sound like Pollyanna or some kind of, you know, optimist.

I really am driven to feel like I'm helping people, doing something good in the world, right? I want to do it. Here's the thing about charity. And I'm on the board of two charities. I've helped start charities. My wife, you know, spends her life helping people. And I can tell you this with certainty. It doesn't pay the bills.

helping people and charity and any of those kinds of things don't pay the bills, but they call it a nonprofit for a reason. They call it a nonprofit. Yes, exactly, because less than a profit even is what they should call it. But it's so important and it fulfills us in a way that drives us to achieve these things in our real estate business so we can do that. So, I mean, I'll just give you a quick story. After I got out of school, I got a degree in psychology.

I loved and through college interned and was certified as a behavior training special start. I worked with autistic children. I loved it. I thought it was fantastic. Every day to me when I was in that full time right out of college and really I did it full time through college. To me it just felt like playtime. I loved it. I loved being with the kids.

I loved helping them overcome certain challenges. I loved helping them change certain behaviors. I liked working with the parents to show them those changes. and help them continue to implement it and institute it. It was fulfilling. I loved it. It was great, right? I got out of school, started really looking at how I could do this full time and realized my ceiling was going to be about 30k a year.

At least then, you know, coming out of school in 99, 2000, whatever it was. And I just realized, wow, you know, helping people, there's not a big buck in that, you know. And I can't live the kind of life I live or want to live. And I can't help that many people if I'm doing this. I've got to find another vehicle, something that will take care of the bills, take care of the finances, take care of everything I want so that I can have the freedom so that then I could do this for free and it doesn't matter if I'm getting paid or not, right? So for me, that really was the driving force as me and my wife created our business was how can we

help people that we want to help without being worried about paying, you know, being paid for it, whether that's working with autistic children or starting charities like we do. now and traveling the world. How could we do that? And to us, it was real estate. So that helped me start setting specific goals for once I reach this level in real estate, once I have this much money in the bank as a result of real estate, once I have this much passive income coming in month after month from real estate, here is what that will create for me. The freedom to do this, this and this, right? So I stayed and kept focused. Early on, it was about, I want to get this many deals done. I want to make this much money. And I realized that I quickly had to replace that

with the real why. And that was, I want to be able to travel to India with my wife and help my friend Matt with this charity. He just started where he's working with orphan children. And to be able to take two months and do that and not worry, am I going to have any money when I get home? Is my house going to be foreclosed? I want to get home, you know, that type of thing. Or am I going to have to live hand to mouth and then come back and start over every time I go somewhere for a month and do that. So it was how do I make that fit? It was that lifestyle. And as long as I kept that in my mind instead of like a number or that being the driving motivation, then the numbers and the goals came as a byproduct of that. So you know your why. You know why you want to do it. You set the

goal so that you can achieve that. And then it's just reverse engineering that process. Okay, I need to do this many deals or I need to have this much passive income. Here's what it takes to do that. and then you put that in place. And all on the way, when you hit those obstacles, you hit those hard times, what are you thinking about? You're thinking about being able to go do that in India or being able to go here and do this or being able to help a family friend when they need it, you know, to be that person who can say, hey, you know what, I'll take time off or I'll pay that bill for you or whatever

it is, you know, but being able to do that. And for me, it's also about being able to show that to my daughter. I want to be able to show that to her and I don't want to be the guy who says, help people, and, you know, live life and, you know, love people and help them as you can, but I'm working all the time not really helping people. I want her to see me doing that. And so if I got it down, I guess, to the single seed right now for me, one of my driving wise is I want to show my daughter how you can really help people. And for me, entrepreneurship and real estate, it's just the car I get in to get me there, you know, or the boat or the train or whatever, you know, that takes me

to that place. And that really is my why. It wasn't, for me, it wasn't, I'm going to show that teacher that told me I was a loser or I was a nerd in high school and now I'm going to show those people. Those can be good motivations too. But for me, it was more about, look, that's the life I want to live. I kind of felt like I was sold a lie in school, you know, and got out was disenchanted with, you know, the time I'd spent and the money I'd spent to be educated for what seemed like $30,000 a year, whatever it was. And so that made me take action. So I think that's my why. You know, it's being able to show my daughter. I got it. Yeah. Love it. Yeah.

Can I ask you a question about that? Yeah, yeah. So your why is really being a good example to your daughter? I think so. Having the time to think about those things and form them. Yeah, I think it is, yeah. Did you lack a really good example in your life? I have.

I actually am very blessed to have very good parents. But I've had a lot of close friends that, you know, have, well, not a lot, but a few close friends that let me down in certain ways that I didn't want to be like that. So I was motivated by having some people close to me and some family members, not my parents, but some other family members that I felt like, wow, I know what I don't want to be like or I know what I don't want to do. And I know I want to do better than that. So yeah, I did have some motivation there.

Being a parent puts a lot of that stuff into perspective. It does. Yeah. And you know, for me, it's a relatively new thing, you know? So, you know, your son's a little bit older than my daughter. But, you know, for me, it does make you start thinking about those things. And you think about it on a whole different level because now it's like, now it's not just you. You're trying to show something to somebody.

And to me, it's made me that much more cognizant of being authentic, you know? Like you can put anything you want to on Facebook, but you're not going to fool a really smart little two-year-old that sees what you're doing and what you're not doing. And to me, that's kind of like, wow, I've got to be the thing that I want her to believe that I am. You know, and not that I thought I wasn't necessarily before, but it just makes you more. aware of that. And I think self-awareness, you know, is a big thing and probably lacking in our world in a lot of ways. Self-awareness. I feel it, dude. I feel it. It's right there. I mean, there's a big reason to why you are successful and why you're able to do what you do. I appreciate it, man. Your story is a little different than mine. I mean, I love, I love,

you're a far better guy than I am. No, no, no, no, no. It's not about that at all. But you had some things I know that you're about to tell us that really kind of said, you know, kind of said, hey, you know what? I'm going to prove this to me or this person or that person. So I'm anxious to hear what your wife. Similar. Somewhat. You know, I think my first half of my life, my real emotional trigger was music. And I was a music producer, and I did very well for myself, and money just followed it. I got very fortunate that way. Yeah. There was no goal setting. There was no, let's do the daily activities that are going to produce the result. There's nothing like that. I just produced music, and I was fortunate enough that people wanted to spend money on it.

So I did very well that way. But then the digital download came along. I always have a problem with that word. I wonder if that's more. Digital download. The Napster came out. Did you say that? Right?

When that came out, it turned the whole industry upside down and put us smaller labels out of business almost overnight. I mean, it was six-month period from, you know, rising high in May, shot down in June. However that goes. I remember. And, yeah. It changed everything. And I hit, and I was at 34 years old, and I found that, that, that, that, that, there wasn't a whole lot of demand for an out-of-work music executive.

Yeah. And not a rare thing either. Right. But there are a few of you out there floating around at that time. I'm sure. Especially in L.A. For sure. So after bagging groceries there for six months,

realizing, wow, this is my plan B. Like, this is really where it is. And so now that I've been able to recreate my life through real estate, And I will say that I did do it for the money. I chose real estate because I wanted my lifestyle back that music had given me. And based off a lot of the statistics and the logic and reasoning and the different concepts and stuff we've shared here on the show, I saw all that stuff. And it presented, wow, if I'm going to get my life back, this is where I got the best shot. Plus, I'm halfway through my life.

I need to do it rather quickly. Yeah. Because I don't have the whole life to build it all up again. Right. So there's urgency there too. Absolutely. So really what drives me is fear that, wow, that's my alternative. That's my plan B. Yeah.

It's like, what if I, if I don't succeed at this, that's where I end up. Yeah. If I don't get up today and go work, that's where I'm headed. Yeah. And that is, I'm not talking necessarily my why. We're talking about an emotional trigger. Yeah. That's something that sparks deep emotion in me.

Sure. And now that I am a father, I'm like, I'm like, I'm not. be damned if I want to be bad in groceries and being a father. Like, that's just, you know, and God bless those that are able to do that and make that work. It just would not work for me. Yeah. It scares me to death. And you weren't afraid to roll up your sleeves and do it, but then you also weren't afraid to move beyond that.

Right. And, you know, because you had suffered a huge setback. Your entire industry got turned upside down. Now, you told me this story before, and I know, I know your history. So tell them what it was that that kind of got you out of that. I mean, somebody came to you that you were working with, right? Your manager, like, tell me, tell them that because that's pretty cool. Sure.

You know, there was a day where I was, they were short on staff on checkers, and I was bagging groceries, and they had asked me to go ahead and check the groceries. And this nice-looking lady came through, well, she's 30-something. Kind of your typical soccer mom would probably fit in a yuppie category. She looked very affluent, and she had on her little exercise outfit, it was perfectly matching, and her gold earrings and her makeup was perfect, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. She was on the cell phone.

and a kid was in the stroller and then she had another kid in the basket. And after all of her groceries came through and her total came up, I said, here's your total, whatever it was. She's hardly even listening to me. She just kind of, while she's talking on the phone, she opens up her wallet to give me her ATM card and out of her wallet fell her ATM receipt. And I couldn't help but sneak a glance at the balance. That's just, I was like, how much she got?

And there was, the balance was $256,000. And I don't know what account that was, but I just knew that had been about six months since I had seen that in my account. Right. And I just kind of hit me. The reality was, gosh, if I continue to do what I'm doing, I will never see that again. Yeah. I'll never see it. And so I felt physically nauseous, physically sick.

I had to excuse myself from my job. I went out to the car. I cried. I prayed. And I just kind of like, there's got to be a better way. God, please reveal this to me because I don't, I can't do it. I don't know which way to go. And I walked in and the grocery store manager of all people in the whole world,

he noticed that I was a little bit more emotionally distraught than normal. I was rather bitter time during my life. Sure. But he had noticed that something was up and, you know, we had a talk. He asked me up to his office and we talked and I told him. And he laid out this whole plan of this is what he's going to do. I've been here. I'm just a few years away from retiring with a 20-year retirement.

And along the way, I've been able to acquire this half a dozen apartment buildings. And so this is going to subsidize that. And I'm going to live a much better life in retirement at the age of, I don't know, 38 or something is when he was going to retire than I did while I was working. And then he said these final words to me. He says, Matt, real estate is the final frontier where the average person has a legitimate shot of creating real wealth. And I was just like, I've heard you say that many times. I'm a believer. Yeah.

You know, and I've repeated that over and over and over again. I wish I could find him to tell him what those one word, that one statement did. Yeah. It changed the course of my life. Yeah. You should try to find him, have them on the show. I know. That would be great.

And here we are today. Yeah. But he saw that in you and I remember you even said, he kind of asked, you know, like, so what are you doing right now? You know, because he saw more in you and certainly not disparaging anybody that banks groceries. Nothing wrong with that. That's honest work, right? But he saw something to you that was kind of like, is this guy working towards something? Is he trying something?

Because he, you know, he knew you were. beyond, he knew you were being underutilized bag and groceries, right? And so that, you know, he did you a favor there and opened your eyes. I think that's an awesome story. So that's my emotional trigger. I never want to go back there. I'm scared of death of going back there. Sure.

Because now it's, you know, 10 years, let's see, 12 years, 13 years later. And I can't afford to do over again. Nope. Right? Nope. And I certainly don't want to. And you got, you know, you got little man dependent on you. And I mean, yeah, it's not a, yeah, it's not an option.

Is it? No. Yeah. So that fear when you use the right way and channeled the right way, well, I should say this. Fear when not use the right way will immobilize you and make you freeze up and make you stay right there bagging those groceries, metaphorically speaking, right? Fear when you use the right way and channel the right way, well, guys, then you do what Matt's done. You know, you create a big company. You become a successful real estate investor who's working in 10 different markets. And that's how you can use fear the right way, you know. But channel the wrong way. What does it do? Completely immobilized you. It makes you stay right where you are and you never grow again. And if you never grow or if you're not growing, you're atrophying.

You're shrinking. Well, there's two ways that fear you. Fear can cause you to curl up on the corner and scream surrender. Yep. Or it can cause you to stand up and fight for it. So we all react different ways. Absolutely. That's how fear has served me.

Yeah. Very well. I saw something really interesting. It was an interview with Will Smith. He was being interviewed by Oprah. And he had said to this day, after he's made millions and millions and millions of dollars, he still wakes up in cold sweats, fearing having to go back to the streets of Philadelphia to poverty. And look at how it's driven him, you know?

And that's the Fresh Prince of Bel Air talking. I suppose that's a good company. I do like Will Smith. And I've heard that story. And yeah. And I've heard that same variation in that story from a lot of successful people. So, I mean, that's not, it's not rare for someone to have that fear of, hey, this is what life can be. And it's not going to be my life.

Right. And that's strong. And I think, you know, everybody in some way can relate to that, whether that was you're a nerd in high school and you don't want to go back to being a nerd, like kind of that one example you read in the book, or whether that is I lived on the streets and I'm not going back to that or I lived in fear and worry about not being able to support my family. I'm not going back to that. That is a huge motivator. That's awesome. So I'm glad you channeled it the right way so you could help all the rest of us.

Amen, brother. Yeah, man. We need to give each other a big hug after this. I know, right? This could be like a bro thing after that. All right, so we'll leave you with this. We're talking about today about tapping into your emotional triggers

for maximum results. So the two questions asked by our author, Jeff Johnson, at the beginning of this chapter, is chapter four of Cashflow Forever. Go out and get that. I got mine on Kindle. And the two questions. I'll leave you with for this, are what deep issues energize me to get up in the morning and work hard to

achieve my goals? What are those deep issues that energize you to get up? And what are your real underlying motivations to succeed? Each and every one of us should have answers to those two questions. And on those days where you don't feel like getting up and going to work, tap into those questions or the answers to those questions. And, you know, get the let out. There it is. Right? Awesome. I'll end with this. I think it was Jerry West, the basketball player, said, if working enough on the days we felt like it was all it took to be successful, we'd all be successful. There you go. It's getting up and going to work on the days we don't feel like it is where the difference is made. And sometimes the level of discomfort you're willing to go through is going to be exactly in proportion with how much success you have, right?

Boom. End up and doing it. Love it. That's it for today. Flipping houses can make you rich. Holding them will make you wealthy. We'll be back next week. Until then, remember, don't wait to buy real estate. buy real estate and wait. Hold that house! Contrary to popular belief, a lack of funding is not the biggest barrier to starting a business. It's excuses.

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