Epic Real Estate Investing - How to Build Rapport with Sellers | 315

Episode Date: November 27, 2017

Join Epic Real Estate Investing and get the inside track on how to build rapport with sellers. Put yourself in position to get more contracts signed at a deeper discount when you place your focus on this one thing. Learn to master the one vital skill that will allow you to dominate your market. No more stumbling for words and feeling awkward asking for a signature. Move the conversation to a close with confidence! ______   The free course is new and improved!  To access to the two fastest and easiest strategies to a paycheck in real estate, go to FreeRealEstateInvestingCourse.com or text “FreeCourse” to 55678. What interests you most? • E.ducation • P.roperties • I.ncome • C.oaching   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Terrio Media. Broadcasting from Terrio Studios in Glendale, California. It's time for Epic Real Estate Investing with Matt Terrio. Hello and welcome to the Epic Real Estate Investing Show. Glad that you found us. Now, if you're looking to create financial freedom and independence in your life to take care of your loved ones with that financial freedom and independence, if you're looking to prove the naysayers wrong,

if you're looking to show them that you're not crazy for taking on the life of a real estate. estate entrepreneur, you're in the right place. And if you're looking for proven strategies, proven systems to accelerate your journey to a comfortable retirement, or at the very least, accelerate your journey to creating the option to retire, you're in the right place. And if you're ready and willing to roll up your sleeves, you're ready to go to work and create a reputation as a total real estate investing badass. You're in the right place. And speaking of the right place, I'm in Oregon, taking care of my mom. And the house is a little bit busy right now. So had to come outside to the car.

And so I am in the right place at the right time sharing this with you, recording inside of the car. And obviously as soon as I got in the car, it started to rain. And it looks like it's starting to rain again. Perhaps you can hear that. Anyway, let's just go on. Okay, because I got a really great episode for you today. Today we're going to revisit the makeup of the deal driver system,

as it's really the highest and best use of your time as a real estate investor, the place where you are paid the most for your time. And the better that you get at this, the more you'll make, the faster that you're going to go. So, you know, the deal driver system, it's the system that you use to take that incoming lead all the way to contract. That's how you drive your deal forward. That's where you came up with the deal driver system because you take that little seed of a deal with that lead and you drive it forward to get control of it. Because, you know, once you've got a property under contract, you're now in control and you get to call the shots. and I went through the whole deal driver system in great detail a couple months ago,

and perhaps maybe in too much detail, I don't know. And because though this particular system is so critical to your success, I mean, this is where your primary attention should be focused on honing the skills of the deal driver system because it is a skill. And like any skill, it can be learned. And like any skill to learn it, you must practice it. And it takes massive repetition to get really, really good at it. And you should really consider.

that getting really good at it. I mean, the same way that you go to the driving range to practice your golf swing or the way that you, you know, you practice playing your guitar or the piano. In the exact same way that you'd practice any skill, you want to consider doing this well, is treating this like a skill as well because it pays a whole lot more money than driving that golf ball for the most part, for most of us and playing the guitar for most of us. That's a very small portion of the population that makes millions and millions of dollars doing that but a significant portion of the population that makes millions do it with these skills. Okay, so the better you get at these skills, the less deals you'll actually have to do as well

because you're getting deeper discounts with each deal. So you need to do less. The better these skills are, the less work you'll have to do to make the same amount of money. And your profit per deal, that's going to go up, which means your cost per deal will become increasingly easier to manage because if you can buy better than your competition, if you're better at buying a deeper discounts than your competition, you can outspend your outspend. your competition in your marketing. So that's how you can beat.

The person that can pay the most for a deal is the one that's ultimately going to win. And if you're buying it a deeper discount, I mean, you can totally dominate your market with this skill. That's how important it is. So I'm going to revisit it in a more simple format, one that you can ideally act on and use right away. I mean, I just can't stress how important that this is because if you get the systems within the deal driver system wrong, I mean, you're going to be frustrated.

you're not going to know what to say and you're going to feel like you look, you feel like you look like an idiot fumbling all over your words, and you won't know how to act, and you're going to feel needy during that entire process, and you're going to feel awkward, and sellers that, they can sniff that out. They can sniff your neediness specifically. They can sniff that out a mile away. And if you get this part wrong, sellers, they're going to resist.

They won't want to work with you right up front, let alone let you in the door to allow you to present your offer. All righties, but if you get the deal driver system right, You'll never be at a loss for words. You'll know exactly what to say and what to do during every conversation and meeting with the seller. Sellers, they're going to accept your invitations and suggestions. In fact, they'll cooperate and they're going to assist in the process making transactions run smoothly. And ultimately, sellers, they're going to prefer to work with you.

Even if your competition is ready, willing, and able to pay more for the house, that's what this is going to do for you. So, I mean, how is that possible? I mean, why would the seller want to work with you if somebody else is willing to pay more? more and ready to do it. Well, I've got one word for you. That word is rapport. Rappore is power. You know, as evidenced by a recent Facebook post by Josh Swanson in the private Epic

Pro Academy Facebook group, when Josh he received a call almost a year later from a lady that he had met with. And she had said when she called him that I'm ready to sell now. And there's several people wanting to buy my house, but you were so nice that I'd rather work with you. This is a deal that, in fact, this just closed this past Thursday while I was up here in Oregon and it netted us $14,000 in profit.

All because Josh had built rapport. All righty so, the rain, it's coming and going. Hopefully it's not too distracting. Hopefully you can still hear me fine. I guess I'll listen back to this and maybe we have to record this again. I don't know. No. As soon as I said

that, it stopped. Maybe that's the magic word. Anyway, what's funny, or you may have noticed though, when when we're talking about building rapport, those choice of words and that operative word being built, because meaning you can build rapport. You can control the process to create it. And that's what I'm going to talk to you through today because it's just an invaluable skill. And I'm going to talk you through how to do it, how to build it.

And after I walk you through that, after I walk through that with you, I'm going to give you a very special tool at the end that if you use it, much of this rapport building, it's done automatically. But first, for it to work, you need to understand the components that cause this tool to work so beautifully and so predictably and so consistently. All righty. So report as a real estate investor, it's built when you yourself, you're likable, you're trustworthy, and you're competent. Okay? You want to be likable, trustworthy, and competent. Report is created by a feeling of commonality between two parties because people like people like themselves. and if you can create those common traits, that commonality between two parties, that's where rapport is built.

And this is really important, particularly in our business, because you're almost always dealing with somebody in some sort of distress to someone that's got a problem. Someone's got an issue. And people in distress, they want to work with people who are likable, trustworthy, and competent. And empathetic wouldn't hurt as well. So I've got five hot principles for you on this. One is attitude. Two is tempo. three is time, four is attention, and five is detachment.

So of those, attitude, tempo, time, attention, detachment, which one of these are you finding the most intriguing right now? Or which one of these do you think you need the most? Attitude, tempo, time, attention, detachment. I guess it'll probably be much easier questions. These will be easier questions for you to answer after I go through each once, so we'll do that. All right.

So let's just go start from the top, work our way down. Number one is attitude. Now, this is a lot more than just having a positive attitude, although that does go a long way and it's important, so don't ignore it. But what I'm speaking to in addition to being positive is working with the seller with an attitude of service, specifically the service of alleviating their distress, or the service of solving their problem, or the service of providing peace of mind. because if you truly go into a meeting and every subsequent encounter with that seller, you won't need a script if you have that attitude. I mean, you're not going to,

you won't stumble and struggle for the right words because if you have the right attitude, those are going to come to you naturally. I mean, think about like this. If your grandparents called you up and they need a help in selling their property fast and they want to know if you'd buy it from them, you wouldn't need a script for that, would you?

No, those words, they would come very naturally to you? And working with a stranger, it should be no different. You just have to get yourself in the right attitude. So you're there to help them, just like you want to help your grandparents. You're there to help them out of their problem situation. And you want to see to it that the seller will walk away from their experience with you, being better for having met you. All righty. So that's all the components of attitude.

So that's number one, a positive and service-minded avid attitude and a helpful attitude and a problem-solving attitude. All right. So that's number one. Number two, tempo. Now, Tempo, this is a really important element for building rapport, and it's often an ignored one. People don't typically bring this up or they're not conscious of it. And that's unfortunate. You know, with regard to tempo, what I'm speaking to is your rate of speech.

You want to speak slowly. You know, when we get on the phone with a motivated seller, particularly if we're brand new in the business, or we take a meeting with a seller, particularly if we're brand new in the business, it can be a really exciting event. You're like, oh, my God, this is working. It's game time. Let's go. and that could be one that can it can cause our heart rates to increase a little bit. It gets exciting. Our emotions rise, right?

And our speech tends to speed up under those circumstances. So be conscious of this because quick speech can sound nervous and it can sound jumpy, not confident, and it sounds incompetent, really. And crazy people, they speak quickly. Self-assured people, they speak slowly. It's kind of like, you know, noticing a beach ball in the middle of a calm pond, just kind of picture that. Not a single ripple in the water. The water's nice and smooth. The beach ball is just sitting there floating, just motionless, right in the middle of the pond.

And if you want that beach ball, what would be the best way about going after it? I mean, do you jump in the pond and swim to it as fast as you can? No, that probably wouldn't be a good strategy because the waves that you would cause by doing so, that's only going to push the beach ball away from you. But if you walk into the water nice and slowly and you take your time and you're calm and you move toward the ball, excuse me, you move toward the ball

being very, just, you know, very careful, not to make any waves and not to make any ripples. That beach ball's just going to sit there and it's just going to wait for you. It's going to be very easy for you to, um,

to, uh, grasp your rate of speech and your actions. They work very much in the same way when, when you're talking to a seller. So watch the tempo. And if in doubt, am I talking too fast? Yes, you are.

Slow it down. Okay. Don't stop. Don't, don't lose your focus. Don't, don't, don't, slow down so much that the deal stops moving, but slow down. All right? So that's number two, tempo. Number three is time. And here's what I mean by this. Sellers, they don't want to feel, they don't want to feel trapped or they don't want to feel like they're in some sort of awkward

conversation with some random stranger or some stranger they just called over the phone. They've never met, just this voice over this phone. So by inserting a time constraint within the conversation, even if it's an artificial one, rapport, it can quickly begin to be developed. And here's what I mean. Let the seller know that there is an end in sight. This isn't going to take forever, right? There's an end in sight.

It's going to happen sooner rather than later. Something like, ring, ring, hello, da, da, da, da. Hey, I'm really glad that you caught me. I was just on my way out the door. And I do have to run soon, very soon, actually. But I've got a couple minutes for you. Can you tell me about your situation? It's a really, really simple technique.

And it works every time, in every situation. Even try it outside of your business. Try it when you're networking or when you're just any situation when you're interacting with anybody. If you insert that you're walking up to a stranger you've never met before, you can walk up and just kind of insert that time element and then ask your question and you get much more attentiveness because they don't feel trapped. They know there's an end to it. It's not going to take so long.

And it's just such a natural and easy technique to incorporate in your everyday ventures. But it works splendidly with nervous motivated sellers that they tend to have their guard up, right? As they typically do when they first call you. So insert that time issue or that time element. All right. So that's number three. Time. Number four.

Attention. Okay. Attention. And this has many different dynamics to it. I mean, this could have been broken up maybe into five different subcategories, but I'll just put it all into one that attention. You've got to pay attention. You've got to pay attention to everything.

Pay attention to everything other than the little voices in your head. Okay? So you want to pay attention to the environment and what's going on outside of your body. Pay attention to the cellar's body language. Their rate of speech, their rate of breathing, their disposition. And you want to match that as best as you can. It's called matching and mirror. and you kind of want to just kind of take on their physiology.

That's the first part. You want to pay attention to what they're saying also, meaning you want to listen to their words. Don't sit there and think about what you're going to say next. You want to listen to what they're saying. Pay attention and be curious about what they're saying. Ask questions and then pay more attention. Okay?

I mean, if you're going to ignore everything from this episode today, don't ignore this one. So, you know, the majority of the report, it's being built when we're paying attention. when we're not saying anything, when we're just being curious and we're just listening. Listening, it's key.

So ask questions, lots of questions, open-ended questions specifically, like who and why, those types of questions and actually listen to the answers. Don't ask questions and then start formulating your next question without listening to that answer.

It's really easy to do. Even when we're conscious of it and the best of the best, it's really easy to figure out what you're going to say, or to get caught up thinking about what you're going to say next. But fight it

and really focus and listen to the answers, listen to what they're saying, and ask more open-ended questions based off the answers that you're receiving. And it's one thing that, I mean, it's a fun thing to actually practice. Practice it when you don't need it.

Practice it when it's not game time. Practice it in social environments as well. You're going to come out, by asking all these questions and paying attention, people are going to think like you're, wow, you're such a great conversationalist and you're hardly doing any of the talking.

Okay? It's actually very magical, but it's only magical when it's authentic, when you're actually listening and you're asking questions based off the answers that you're getting, and then asking more questions, okay, and listening. So, and then the other part of that is to really avoid, because you'll want to do this a lot,

because this is your business, you're the expert, you know more than the seller does typically about the market, what's going on and about how this is going to work. But avoid, at all costs, avoid correcting people or anything that could be interpreted as one-upmanship. Basically, just check your ego, okay? You don't have to be right about this. You want the deal.

You can be right or you can get the deal. Which one do you want? It's up to you. So really, just check your ego. And just listen. You don't need to tell your story. You don't need to tell your story. But rather encourage them to keep telling theirs.

That's the better route. That's the better path, the better road to take. You know, properly paying attention and checking your ego. It's nothing more complex than just putting the other individuals to put their wants, their needs and perceptions of reality. Put all of that ahead of your own. Okay. You come second.

what's going on with a seller that everything that's going on with them comes first. Because if you do this right and you do it well, you'll continue to encourage sellers to talk about his or her story. And what's most important to any person? It's themselves and themselves and their story. Investors who allow others to continue talking without taking their own turn are generally regarded as the best rapport builders. and they're the best at building quick and lasting rapport. Just allow others to talk without trying to butt in and take your turn in talking. This is basically what I'm saying.

And then to take this even deeper, another, I told you this could have four components to it or five subtitles to it. But another part is that you want to validate sellers. And you want to let them feel okay. Let them know it's okay to go through what they're going through. And if you're paying attention, you're going to, you're going to, recognize that they're not feeling okay. You want to make them feel okay. They're human. Hey, it happens to everybody. Happened to me one time. It happened to the last person I talked to,

but everything turned out fine. Okay, the best for you is yet to come. You want to validate in that regard and that aspect and make them feel okay. And really the simplest validation that can be given to another individual is just listen. It doesn't have to be any magic words. You don't have to be this extra consoling and empathetic person, but just listening. The action, it doesn't require any proactive effort aside from the incessant need of us that each of us have to tell our own story. You don't need a script or the perfect words to listen. Just a lot of hows and wise, those type of questions. And based off the information the seller is feeding you, just to demonstrate that you're actually listening. You don't really want to demonstrate it. You want to actually listen,

but if you listen correctly, you will demonstrate that. All right. So the difficulty most of us we have it, it's keeping from interjecting our own thoughts, our own ideas, and stories during that conversation and during all the subsequent conversations as well. This doesn't go for that first conversation on the phone. This goes for all of your conversations with the seller until that deal is closed. True validation coupled with, you know, checking your ego means that you have no story to offer, that you are there simply to hear theirs and you're there to help. All right. So pay attention. Match the seller's physiology. Be curious. Listen. Check your. Check your. your ego, put their needs above yours.

As a very wise person once said, I believe it was Zig Ziglar. If you help enough people get what they want, they'll help you get what you want. Something in that regard. And in this particular exchange that we're talking about, sellers will give you the equity that you want in exchange for the peace of mind that you're going to give them. All righty. So that's number four. Attention.

Pay attention. Number five. Detachment. Now this is a toughie for a lot of people. Detachment is a tough one. specifically what I'm talking to is detach yourself from the outcome. You know, something else that you can add to your attitude is really just kind of going with the flow, detaching yourself from the outcome.

I mean, act as if you do this every day because you do or you will and act as if it's no big deal. All right, it's a big deal. You want to be intentional about closing this deal, but it's no big deal whether you get it or not. Hey, you can't bite them all, right? Because you can't. So don't pretend that you have to. Right. Adapt the, just kind of take this and adopt this reality into your attitude,

into your character and your conversation. And so where I'm talking, where I'm going to is like, we've talked about your minimum deal standards on the show before. You have standards for your investments. And if any property doesn't particularly fit, that doesn't make a good fit, it's not a loss for you. it's actually a good thing it's not a failure

if you don't get a particular deal under a contractor you don't get that deal just because you were getting along and built rapport with the seller and it didn't turn into a deal that's not a loss it's not a failure it's it's far better to miss out

on a good deal than it is to buy a bad one you need to buy property for your business to work you've got to find deals for it to work but you don't need any one property

you don't need any one deal you know once you're afraid to walk away from the deal. Once you're in that position, like, I need this deal. Once you're in that zone, you've lost.

Okay? So go into each conversation and go into each meeting, do the best that you know to do, stick to your standards, be of service, offer your solutions, and accept what you get.

Because if you don't manage your own exceptions properly, it can lead to disappointment, it can lead to resentment, it can lead to anger and frustration. So just be cool. It's no big deal. You know, when we don't detach ourselves from the outcome,

we frequently get disappointed. We sometimes get angry and frustrated and may even hold grudges and get hurt feelings. And these emotions are not conducive to developing rapport. So the best technique to avoid these emotions is to manage your emotions by detaching yourself from the outcome.

go through the process, stick to your standards, propose the solutions, back up your solutions with market stats and market, the market conditions. And if you get it, great. If you don't, that's fine too. That's why you need your lead machine running because now you just go on to the next deal. All right. So that's all five. One, attitude, two, tempo, three time, four, attention, five detachment. Now, maybe a lot to sort of swallow or a lot to remember. But I'm going to give you a simple tool like I promised up at the front at the beginning. Because if you use this tool and you use it regularly, you can check a bunch of these little rapport building boxes. I went down these five things and a couple of them had several sub points to each one of

those major points. You can check all of these boxes if you just use this one simple tool. It's called the upfront contract. You've heard me talk about it here before. Or as my training partner calls it, a transition agreement. which I feel is probably a better name for it in our business as it's going to serve you by, if you use it more than one time,

rather than only once like up front, how the upfront contract suggests. So every time there's a transition, you can use this transition agreement. Okay, so we'll go ahead and we'll call it a transition agreement from here on out because you use it every time you make a transition. Okay, so go something like this.

This doesn't have to be word for word, but I want you to listen for all the elements. Okay, we'll listen for attitude, tempo, time, attention, and detachment. Listen for all of those elements just in one statement and one agreement. If you use this, you can check all those boxes. So it could be, Mr. Mrs. Seller, I'm hoping I'll be able to help you with your situation. I've got a few tools in my toolbox, but at the end of the day, it's going to, it'll be up

to you and the market. Now, I've got a couple other appointments after ours, so we'll have to be intentional with our time together. So here's what's going to happen. I'm going to come over. You can show me around the property. I'll take some notes. And then I'll look at the market and how it's acting and how it can help us both get what we want.

And then I'll go ahead. I'll pull all of this information. I'll compile it all together and put together a fair offer for you. Sound good so far? You let him answer? Great. So here's what you can expect for me. If at any point during our time together, I feel that this isn't going to be.

to be a good fit. I'll let you know right away. Is that okay? And let him answer. Great. Remember you're paying attention. You're listening. So you want to give them an opportunity to speak.

And then great. So here's all that I ask in return. If at any point you feel that this isn't going to be a good fit for you, I ask that you let me know. Can you do that? Let him answer. Great. And I like to finish this way.

Does anybody else need to be there? for this decision or can you tell me no on your own if it's not a good fit? Perfect. All righty. So you'll use this agreement or a version of it every time that you make a transition in the deal driver system. For example, when you're making the transition from initial conversation to the next, like you might have been on the phone and then you're going to set an appointment for the next phone call. Or when you're making the transition from touring the property.

to presenting your offer. You can use it then as well. You can use it in a multitude of times. And as long as you have each of those elements there, then you'll know you'll be able to hit on each one of those elements. And every time you use it, rapport inadvertently gets built. Okay? Because you're going to notice the wording addressed the proper attitude.

I was solution-minded. It had the right tempo. It was nice and slow. It had a time restraint inserted in there. And then I paused occasionally. to ask a question to demonstrate I'm paying attention and listening to them. And I just detached myself from the outcome, giving them the ability to say no. You know that that last portion actually works twofold.

Yeah, I mean, yes, it indeed demonstrates that I'm detached from the outcome, right? Because I guess that you can tell me no. And that's going to be okay with me. But it's also an embedded, what we call release statement, giving the seller the freedom to say no. making it easy for them to say no, giving them the ability to say no. If you give someone the freedom and the ability to say no, when you get a yes, you'll know that it's a true yes. So that's what's important about that part, is you give them the, it shows that you're detached

from the outcome because you're saying it's okay to say no. I'm totally cool with that. But also when you give them that freedom to say no, you know when you get a yes, it's going to be a true yes. Right. So that's how you build rapport. And I'm good at it. But I had to practice and probably had to practice at it more than most as this particular attitude and mindset. That doesn't really come naturally to me. I suppose I can be a selfish bastard at times. And Mercedes has shared that with me more than once in the past. But the point being here is you don't have to be a natural rapport builder to make good money doing what we do. All right. those five hot principles we just went over and a little bit of practice, anyone can become good enough to make a great living as a real estate investing entrepreneur. But of course, I want you to be great at this. Good is good. Great is better. And that's why I've asked Jeff Garner again to

join us at the next Epic Intensive because he is great at this, at building rapport and at buying a super, at a super deep discounts. And he's great at helping other people become great at as well. And so he'll be there live at the next intensive. It's on the calendar, January 25th through the 27th. And I believe there are a handful of the free seats still available. And if they didn't get all snatched up over the Thanksgiving break, there might still be some there. But even a full price, the Epic Intensive, it's a steal.

So if you'd like to join us in January, go to Epicintensive.com. And then we'll work together side by side in a live format. And this intensive has an entirely new theme. It's all about different cash flowing strategies. calling it the cash flow conclave. And what that is, it's just a secret meeting where we're going to reveal the secrets. And I got some very special guests. And I'll be having them on the show here in the future to share with you what they're going to be talking about.

But they're going to be students, epic students, sharing the type of cash flow strategies and techniques that they've pulled from the academy and adopted them and made them their own and what's really working for them out in the real market. And I'm going to give them some stage time to teach you their secrets as well. All right, so that's January 25th to the 27th. The Epicintensive is go to Epicintensive.com and grab your seat. The more, the closer we get to capacity, the more that those prices go up. And you can thank the hotels for that. That's not my idea. That's not my strategy of selling a ticket.

It's just how the hotel dynamics work. The closer we get to it, the more our money goes hard. And the more difficult is first to cancel or make new arrangements with occupancy. All righty. So Epicintensive.com. I hope you can make it. I'd love to see you there. And that's it for today.

God bless and to your success. I'm Matt Terrio, living the dream. You've been listening to Epic Real Estate Investing, the world's foremost authority on separating the facts from the BS in real estate investing education. If you enjoyed this show, please take a minute to visit iTunes and share your thoughts. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next time here at Epic Real Estate Investing with Matt Terrio. This podcast is a part of the C-suite radio.

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