Epic Real Estate Investing - Marie Forleo (Interview) - How to Get Anything You Want | 831

Episode Date: November 9, 2019

Matt Theriault is joined with Marie Forleo who will show you how to get anything you want! She’s an entrepreneur, a writer, a philanthropist, and an unshakeable optimist dedicated to helping you become the person you most want to be. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Compare Schlaugger is basically when you go on social media, you look at everyone else in what they're doing, and you have a comparison hangover. Like for the next three days, you feel like shit, you're chasing other people's games, you're why am I not doing this? I'm not further ahead by now. La, la, la, la, la. And you're not doing any of the stuff that really matters. You're not being of service to your people. You're not feeling joy in your heart. You're not even being connected to the people in your real life, like your husband, your wife, your kids, your mom, your dad, your aunts, your uncles, whomever, because you're just sucked.

this sinkhole of comparison. This is Terrio Media. Success in real estate has nothing to do with shiny objects. It has everything to do with mastering the basics. The three pillars of real estate investing. Attract, convert, exit. Matt Terrio has been helping real estate investors do just that for more than a decade now. If you want to make money in real estate, keep listening.

If you want it faster, visit r-e-i-a-a-a-a-a-ac.com. Here's Matt. Hey, Rockstar, it's Matt Ferrio here on the epic real estate investing show. I got a hot one for you, please. You know what? It's Thought Leader Thursday. I am joined by an entrepreneur, a writer, a philanthropist, and an unshakable optimist, dedicated to helping you become the person you most want to be.

Born and raised, a Jersey girl with nothing more than passion, a last, top and a dream. She's proud to have created a socially conscious digital empire that touches millions. Through her award-winning show, Marie TV, world class online training programs, a book in 16 languages, and an audience in 195 countries, she helps people like you, dream big, and back it up with meaningful action to create results. So please help me welcome to the show. Marie Orleo, Marie, welcome to the epic real estate investing show. Thank you so much for having me on, Matt. This is fantastic. You've got so much stuff about you online. Like, I didn't know what to pick. So hopefully I got all the good stuff. Oh, you got the great stuff. Thank you. Okay, good. You bet. So let me ask you,

what were you doing just before becoming the go-to person, the helping people what they want out of life and what inspired that transition? Well, you know, it started really, when I graduated from school, undergraduate, I went to Wall Street to the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. I'm always a person that's had a lot of energy. I was always very ambitious. I wanted to make a lot of money. I didn't grow up with much. So there was a thing in me that wanted to be able to not only take care of my family, but take care of other people too and just not have that be a factor of my life. But after spending about six months on the floor of the exchange, I was super grateful to have the position, so grateful to have a paycheck and health insurance

and all of those very important things. But there was something inside of me that just felt like I was dying a slow death. And this little still voice kept saying, this is not what you're supposed to do. This is not who you're meant to be. This is not the career for you. So growing up in a very blue collar family, you know, quitting your children. job without having a backup plan, that just doesn't make sense. I'm the first person in my family to go to college. So it was panic-stricken. I didn't want to disappoint my family, but busted their ass to even get me in school. So that was kind of the beginning of me searching for, hey, who am I supposed to be in this world? Even though I'm surrounded by folks who have tremendous wealth and that

have the apparent trappings of success, many of them didn't seem happy either, Matt, to tell you the truth. It was like they pined for these two weeks out of the year that they got to take vacation. And it felt like everything was centered around that. It was that kind of environment. This is like the late 90s when that was happening. And again, it's like there's really no judgment in that for me. I just knew it wasn't my path, right? So great for other people. It just didn't feel like the right fit for me. And I remember one day having a bit of a little mini panic attack on the floor. I didn't realize it. That was it at the time. I just felt really dizzy. I was like, oh God, I don't know if I could do this. And I'm a person who when I put on my game phase and I commit to something, I will work my ass off to make it happen.

So this was disconcerting. And I remember saying my boss at the time, like, hey, look, I got to run out and get a coffee. I just need five minutes. And that was a very typical thing to do on the floor in those days. They didn't have a cafeteria down there or anything. But I ran out. And I just graduated from Seton Hall University, which is a Catholic school. So I was kind of trained to ask God in any situation of crisis, like, hey, give me a sign.

Help me out here. Give me some kind of direction. So I ran to the nearest church and I just sat on the steps and I bawled. I felt like such a loser, Matt. I was like, what is wrong with me? I should be grateful. I want to quit. What's happening?

And I got this sign and basically call my dad. And in those days, I had a flip phone. So I called my dad because he was the one I was really afraid of disappointing because of how hard he worked to put me in school. And he said, something that would change my life. He said, hey, look, you've always been a hard worker. I'm not worried about you paying your bills. You've been babysitting since you were nine.

If this job is making you sick to the point right now and you're miserable, he goes, you need to quit and find something that you're going to love. because once you find that thing, you're going to be doing it for the next 40, 50 years. So don't settle. Keep going. So if you need to quit, quit, you're going to be fine. And that gave me that psychological, emotional permission to say, okay, I'm not going to totally disappoint my family.

I don't know how the hell to find something I love, but at least if I quit, I'm going to give myself a chance to try. And without going through the whole thing, I basically went on an odyssey to figure out who the hell I am and how I could contribute to this world. The only two clues that I had was that I loved business. my dad was a small business owner. And I was also very creative. As a kid, I thought I wanted to be either like an animator for Disney or a fashion designer of one of those things. So I was trying to figure out how do I melt this creativity with this love of small business? Like nothing really made

sense. There's no roadmap for that. And so the idea that came to my mind was magazine publishing because I liked learning. I liked the information that would come in. I thought, well, there's the ad side. There's the editorial side. Maybe it's that blend. And I got myself, have a job at Gourmet magazine back in the day. Condi and asked publications, ad sale department. I was like, all right, this is cool. It's a different environment, very creative. Everyone is really cool. I love my boss. But then about six months in Matt, I started hearing those same voices again, like, Marie, this isn't it. You're not supposed to do this. And I was starting. I was like, are you kidding? Not again. Not again. Same thing.

Boyce didn't tell me what else to do, just that this wasn't it. And I tried to take a more objective look at what was happening. I said, okay, I don't want to become my boss and ad executive. I also don't want to become the publisher of magazine. So if I don't want to climb this corporate ladder, I shouldn't be wasting their time or mine. Maybe I need to really do a hard right and go more creative. My past gigs have been all about money and numbers and making those sales and all that

stuff. So I got myself a job at Mademoiselle magazine, Women's Fashion Magazine, in the editorial fashion department. I was like, okay, this has got to be it. go into fashion shows, photo shoots, design layouts, all those cool things. This is like a young woman's dream in New York City, right? Six months go by, I start hearing those same voices again. Now I'm panicking.

Now I feel broken. I feel like, is there something wrong with me cognitively? I understand intellectually that I should be so grateful. These are arguably dream jobs, dream jobs. And here I am, all I want to do is quit. So one day, Matt, I was on the internet, probably when I shouldn't have been. I stumbled across a new profession at the time called coaching. Now remember, this is the late 90s.

This is before anyone had heard of coaching. This was brand new. In the moment when I read about this new profession, it was as though the clouds parted, little angels showed up, sunbeams shot out of their eyes, and it was like, ah, like nothing ever felt so right in my life. But here's the problem.

I was 23 years old. The rational part of my mind goes, who the hell is going to hire a 23-year-old life coach? You haven't even lived life yet. You can't even keep a job. You're in debt. You're a mess. What do you have to offer everyone?

So that whole conversation was happening. Yet something deeper was like, you've got to pursue this. This is something's here. So I signed up for this three-year coaching program at the time, kept my job during the day. And then fast forward a few months. I got a call from the HR department. They had a promotion for me at Vogue, arguably at the top fashion magazine in the world. More money, more prestige, all this.

of things. That was my fork in the road. Do I stay on the corporate path, stick with the safe job, all that good stuff, or quit and do this weird life coaching thing? I have no idea how to start a business. I'm 23 years old. I don't have the money. And of course, I chose that path. So that's how it all started. But I bartended, weighted tables, did all the things for years before I was able to sustain myself for a business. But that answers your question of how it all started 20 years ago. Sure. That's, God, there's so many different points that I was, fighting not to interrupt you because I know I'm sorry I can know that's okay I mean I remember that come to Jesus moment I had in the parking lot of a of a supermarket and bang in my head against the

steering wheel asking for an answer in some direction I got those words of wisdom that sent me in the right direction and yeah tripped a couple times and finally landed where I am so yeah so you brought up something really interesting and I've actually thought about this because there are a lot of 20 something life coaches out there yes and it's all almost, it's, I don't know, it's oxymor. I don't know if that's the right word, but it sounds kind of funny. So how did you deal with that? How did you overcome that?

Yeah, so I was absolutely insecure and I should have been because I was brand new. However, I was a really hard worker. So some of the things that I did, I used bartending, waiting tables, side jobs to keep a roof over my head. You have to understand I was living in New York City. It's not a cheap city. Right. But I did all of that stuff so that I would not have to be desperate in terms of coaching

clients. I tried my hardest to work with as many people as possible, many of them for free, to say, hey, I'm learning. I think I can provide value to. You don't even have to pay me. I just want to help you get results totally for free. And then maybe if I'm good, you can give me a testimonial. If not, no worries. So I just busted my ass, quite frankly, for many years in order to develop the skills and the confidence I needed to eventually be able to be good at what I'm doing. I feel like we all start from zero. Sure. We all start not having confidence or skills or an ability.

Maybe there's some type of little talent or gift or innate thing that we have, but we need to develop it. And so, you know, it took me years, quite frankly, and I was insecure for a long time. One thing that I did, the Internet was very, very new. Again, this is 2000, right? Online business was basically nothing. I bartered to have someone build my first site, HTML. Mm-hmm. I, yes, I saved my money. I went and got headshots, Matt, that made me look at least 10 to 15 years older than I was. They were black and white. I had on a suit, you know, this whole thing. And I didn't lie to anyone. But I got a lot of my clients online because I was starting to really train myself and understanding this new world of digital marketing. And if people didn't ask me my age, I didn't tell them. So I just let my work speak for itself, if that makes sense.

So that was one of the other ways that I navigated around my extreme insecurities at the time, like a whole lot of hard work. Nice. So I'm doing the math. So you've been in the, been a coach for 20 years almost, right? Yeah. So today, what does business look like? Who do you help? Who's your ideal client and how do you help them?

That's a great question. You know, folks show up on my doorstep from a myriad of places. Sometimes they're aspiring entrepreneurs. Like they may have been in the corporate world for a while and they're feeling like, oh, I want to do my own thing. but I have no clue how to do that. I don't necessarily want to get an MBA, but I want to do something that I really believe in and I want to have it be in a genuine expression myself.

I have folks come to me that frankly never want to start a business, but for whatever reason, they're attracted to the way that I communicate and share ideas that can help them create a life they love. So whether that's about productivity, whether that's about managing all the stuff happening up here for all of us. And, you know, folks from real estate, Our program B school that is now in its 10th year, we have folks from 564 industries. I mean, people that have flower farms, people that sell Christmas ornaments, people that are

in real estate, a myriad of things. So I think it's more of a psychographic. It's someone that really believes in something that I believe in, which is that each of us come to this planet with a unique set of gifts and talents. And part of the journey of our time here together is to figure out what those gifts are and share them with the world so we can make not only a difference, but to feel connected to other people as well and earn a great living while we do it. So people that have that kind of bent of how they want their life to go, where it's not just about them, where it is about making a difference

to other people, those are the types of folks I tend to attract. Got it. So I noticed on your website when you click the get started thing, it's like, go here to learn how to get whatever you want, right? Get anything you want, yeah, how to get anything you want. Absolutely. That's right. It's like, wow, Anything? Anything. I say, and I kind of give it a little bit of a caveat there. I'm like, almost anything. Almost anything. I don't know if we can bring folks back from the dead or things like that, but if it's somewhat within your control, I can help you make it happen. Right. It was funny as I was reading it. My stomach was growling a little bit. It was getting close to lunch time. I was like, I wonder if she can pull off lunch.

But anyway, so what is your approach? What makes your coaching unique and how do you get your clients, their special results? You know, it's a great question. I don't know if I'm going to have a perfect answer, but here's what I can tell you, is that I consider myself more of a guide on the side, not a sage from the stage. I don't have all my shit together. I am constantly figuring it out, but I'm also, you know, as a born and raised jersey girl, when I find something that works, something that's really good that has value, I cannot help but share it. And I feel as though my audience and the folks I work with really can feel that I believe in what I'm sharing. It's not just

based on theory. It's based on things that I've tested over the years so that they know if I'm recommending it, I'm not just talking out my ass. And so that's probably one aspect. I think the second aspect is there's a lot of humor and corkiness in what we do. Like I think life should be filled with joy and fun. There's a lot of tough stuff that all of us have to face. But if you can balance that out with a little bit of a good time, all of a sudden, everything gets easier. And again, we're not on the planet that long, so we might as well have a good time while we do it. I think that makes me unique. And then, I don't know, I like to dance. I think a lot of people like to dance. They're like closet dance lovers. And the fact that I kind of bust that out and the brand

is a little quirky and weird. It gives people permission to let their own freak flag fly. And when they do that, their creativity explodes. Business takes off to a whole other level. I can see that. It's funny. It's one of my favorite quotes is that. I don't even know who said it, but don't take life too seriously because none of us are getting out of it alive. That's right. That's exactly. I love it. I'm with you.

That's a great one. We all know what the train is headed, right? Exactly. We might as well party as much as we can. Amen. So we're here 20 years now, so obviously that little voice is quieted down, right? What do you like most about what you do now? You know, I love my team like to death.

The folks that I get a chance to work with every single day and the way that we're able to essentially go, hey, wouldn't it be cool if? And then we just throw out some idea that we all think is awesome. And then we actually bring it to life. I'll give you a concrete example. Last year, or actually two years ago, we were in the middle of delivering our B-School program. So we've got thousands of incredible aspiring and established entrepreneurs. We're supporting them.

We're supporting them through this program, helping them get growth. And we're in our own Slack channel. And we've got B-School mentor coaches. we've got our team and we're all kind of coordinated like this beehive trying to support everyone. And someone said, you know, this would be even more amazing because it's a virtual company. Everyone's distributed and spread out. This would be more amazing if we could even support people while having margaritas and guacamole. And I was like, will we can make that happen?

And someone was like, wait, what? I was like, yeah. You know what? I want to take everyone on vacation, literally on a business vacation together. We're not going to do any brainstorming meetings. we're not going to touch a stitch of business, and we're just going to hang out for a few days and literally have some margaritas, eat some guacamole, and dance in the sand. And within three months, we had flown, I think, almost 30 people out to Mexico just to have

a group vacation. Nice. That sounds fun. Yeah. Like three of my favorite things right there. Yes. Yes. Yes.

So I think our audience, too. I really love our audience. Our audience is amazing. They're loving, sweet, kind, curious, ambitious people. getting a chance to interact with them digitally. And as the year goes on, I have a book coming out in the fall. So getting to see people in person, that's the other favorite part of what I do. Nice.

What do you wish you could talk about more, something you don't get the opportunity to talk about? Oh, that's a great question. I honestly, there's nothing that I don't talk about that I wish I could. I don't have that much of a filter as a human being. So if something is important to my heart or there's something that I feel, would deliver value to people, I'll talk about it. I think in terms of our audience, the place I don't really go, which some of my audience, because a large portion of them are female,

it's about a 70, 30 split, I think they'd want me to talk about beauty tips and stuff and like hair things and skin things, and I don't really talk about that. Not that I want to, but sometimes it could be fun, but, you know, it's a little frivolous. What commonly held truth do you disagree with? Commonly held truth that social media is the B.O.

all and all. Explain. I agree, but I want to hear your reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, first of all, I love the Internet. I love technology. It is the thing that has allowed me to do everything I'm able to do today. So social media has many, many good positive aspects that I don't want to throw away.

However, I think that the downside absolutely overwhelms the upside. I think that every social platform is built and designed to make people addicted to their screens, it is designed to fracture their attention. They are designed to get people to prioritize significance over service. So social media, for a very large degree of it, it's a comparison machine. People just go on there and compare themselves to others and always wind up walking away, feeling like shit. I call it doing shots of compare Schlager.

So do you remember back in the day there was this liqueur called Goldschlager? Of course. Okay. I know. me too, right? So in college, I remember just horribly doing too many shots of gold schlager, like that cinnamon flavored lique with the gold flakes in it. Of course, puking in the bushes because it's disgusting. Didn't take much. Right here, lightweight, right? Compare schlager is basically when you go on social media, you look at everyone else in what they're doing, and you have a comparison

hangover. Like for the next three days, you feel like shit, you're chasing other people's games, you're, why am I not doing this? I'm not further ahead by now. La, la, la, la. And you're not doing any of the stuff that really matters. You're not being of service to your people. You're not feeling joy in your heart. You're not even being connected to the people in your real life, like your husband, your wife, your kids, your mom, your dad, your aunts, your uncles, whomever because you're just sucked down this sinkhole of comparison. So for many, many reasons, I think it's bullshit. I also think on a business level, you don't own the connection with your fans or your customers. Look at the biggest bait and switch in history that ever happened with Facebook. So we go back several years.

Facebook wanted everyone to build these fan pages, right? Businesses invested millions of dollars to get all of these fans and you could communicate with them for free, except not. They pulled out the fucking rug. And then they said, now you're going to have to pay for the privilege to reach the people who have already raised their hands that you've paid to attract. That's some bullshit. And Instagram is owned by Facebook. All the social platforms, they own the connection with your clients, not you. So at any moment, they can change that algorithm. Right now on Instagram, people are like, oh, my organic reach is down in the toilet.

I have X amount of people that follow me and 4% are seeing my post. That's a shitty business proposition. That is so shitty, right? So anyone who's a thinking entrepreneur who doesn't really get the game that's being played on them, you got to wake up. Yeah, that's all the talk right now. Instagram is about to pull the rug out from under all the influencers, right? Right.

Totally. Well, with that said, you know, what you just said right there is it's becoming more and more complex. I think a lot of people are starting to recognize that. But is it going to change? Is this going anywhere? Is this part of our life now? And is it permanent? Is it here to stay?

I think more people are starting to wake up. if we're looking at this through pure business lines, you know, I've been preaching about building your own opt-in email list for nearly 20 years and I'm still not getting off it. I don't care about some of the studies. You know what? It ain't dead. It's still one of the highest ROI pieces of our business. You just have to know how to do it right. You can't be lazy about it. You've got to write good subject lines. You have to put out great content. You have to actually care about your people and you have to not be asleep at the wheel. But if you're going to put energy into something,

put energy into the vehicles that you own that connection. Don't give it away to someone else. But to answer your question, if I think it's going away, I don't know. I think as technology continues to advance, there's probably going to be another platform, right? Whatever's going to be the Instagram of the next five to seven years. Maybe it hasn't been created yet.

But I think that if you want to not only be successful, Matt, but be happy, you have to retain control of your tech, your attention, your ability to focus, and not just give it away to companies that do not have your best interest at mind. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's something to be concerned about. I see all the people building their businesses on Amazon. Like, that's kind of, that's a little unstable, right? Yes. Got no control. Yes. All right, so let's play a game. Yes. Let's pretend. You're a real estate investor.

Okay. And you're looking for distressed properties. Okay. Okay. So it could be the property is distressed or the owner is distressed in some shape, form or fashion. With your copywriting and marketing superpowers, what's the first thing that comes to mind with regard to how you would use those powers to find those properties or people? To find those properties or people. So distressed properties, hmm.

I might, well, first of all, here's how I would enter kind of any new business that I wasn't familiar with. And real estate, while I love real estate to own it, I'm not necessarily a real estate investor flipping or doing things like that. I would probably look to find someone local that I could develop a relationship with who had the inside scoop in that particular geographical location. And then I would ask them, what do we need to do? Do we need to write letters to folks and say, hey, maybe opening.

up with a question, are things really challenging for you right now? We would love to have a sit down conversation about where you are and how we might be able to help if I was trying to get the attention of, let's say, the owner in distress. So I would probably approach it with developing a relationship with someone local who had the inside scoop that I didn't. And then using my copywriting skills to connect from the heart to whoever it was that I was trying to reach. And if I did that through a letter, if I did that through going up and knocking on the door, that's, that. that's kind of the general sketch of what I would do first. Got it.

So when you're using your copywriting skills and you want to connect with somebody, what are you focused on and making that connection through the written word? I am focused on what their emotional experience must be. So looking at what are their pain or frustration points right now and getting into a place of real empathy where I can imagine myself feeling and thinking what they must be experiencing right now? to the very best of my ability. So that's using a bit of imagination,

but it's also remembering that we have so much shared humanity. And so let's say if it is a divorce situation, I don't know who listening to this conversation right now hasn't found themselves in a relationship challenge in their life where they could imagine how absolutely painful that is on an emotional level and then to have the financial kind of pressure stacking up. So I would tap into those experiences for me and try and reach through that place.

If it was around the loss of a loved one, the unexpected loss that created this, oh my goodness moment, I can't afford to keep this all going. I need to get out as soon as possible. I would tap into that place in my heart and right from there. I would try and connect from a place of understanding, from a place of compassion and really writing with heart so that people knew that during their time of need,

that I wasn't just some kind of hawk circling around trying to get. I would ask myself, what can I give to this person right now? And what can I say to let them know that I really am on their side? Because I think to your point, there's win-win in there, right? When someone is in over their head and they need to get out because they need relief and you have that emotional pressure over top, you want someone who's really going to come in with an open heart and say, let me listen to you. Let me hear what's happening for you. And then let's decide together what we could possibly do to relieve some of this pain. Awesome. You know, I get some of my biggest breakthroughs in my business from asking those types of

questions to people that are not in my industry. So that was really helpful. So I got relationships. I got with experts, people that know better than us. I got compassion and really just kind of being interested in people and focusing on what's going on in their world and giving before you ask for anything in return. Yes. I think a good rule for all of us, no matter what business we're in, always asking, you know, what can I give versus what can I get? Always making it about that. Being of service. Get you everywhere.

Love it. So I was going to ask you what's in your future that you're most excited about. You might have already mentioned it. Yes. So is this thing coming out in the fall? Yeah. So Beesful right now. This is our 10th year anniversary.

We've had 44,000 people go through the program, which blows my freaking mind. I'm like, oh, my goodness, is like more than a small town. So we have that coming up immediately. But in the fall, I am writing my next book, which I've taken a break from writing books for a long time. It's called Everything is Figure Outable. And the subtitle is How One Simple Belief Can Help You Change Your Life and the World. And it's really a book for people that reject the idea that this is as good as it gets, right? That this is as good as my life gets.

This is as good as my career gets. This is good of my relationships get. And it's really about this little small belief that can open up. up every door of your consciousness to anything that you want to aspire to, achieve, learn, change. The book doesn't propose to have all the answers, nor do I. But I know how to help people unlock what's happening within them so that they can tap into their own inborn wisdom.

So that's what I'm really excited about. It comes out September 10th. Nice. Great month. So if someone wanted to learn more about your B-school or the book or just more about you, I know there are people in my audience right now totally resonating with you. you, where would be the best place for them to go? Go to Marie Forleo.com, M-A-R-I-E-F-R-L-E-O-O-O-com.

That's where everything is. It's like our digital home. There's hundreds and hundreds of free episodes and podcasts. They're both tactical. And if you've appreciated any of this conversation, it's just more of that. And in terms of B-School, which is our online business building program, for people who really kind of shy away from online marketing, they think it's slimy, or they're just not sure how to do it, and it's scary, and it's overwhelming.

We have a lot of free training right now. It's 100% free. Even if you don't want to engage in any of our training programs, the free stuff is awesome and it will get your results. You can check that out at join vSchool.com. Fantastic. Well, Marie, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much.

Let's do it again, maybe. Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me on. And thank you for what you're helping people do in the world. Like I said, even though I'm not a real estate investor per se, I love real estate. I like owning it. I like that people learn how to own it and do this. So thank you for the work that you do.

You bet. It's a pleasure. All right, be good. All righty. So God bless to your success. I'm Matt Terrio, living the dream. Yeah, yeah, we got the cash flow. Yeah, yeah, we got the cash flow.

Yeah, yeah, we got the cash flow. You didn't know home world, we got the cash flow. This podcast is a part of the C-Sweet Radio Network. For more top business podcasts, visit c-sweetradio.com.