Epic Real Estate Investing - What Are You Making "It" Mean? | 779

Episode Date: September 18, 2019

This Wednesday, we are going way back into philosophy. Ever asked yourself, what is "it" to which you're adding meaning that is creating your life? By the nature of being human, you ARE doing it. The only question is are you doing it consciously or is it being done for you? You'll want to know as your answer to these questions will determine your destiny. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Terrio Media. Success in real estate has nothing to do with shiny objects. It has everything to do with mastering the basics. The three pillars of real estate investing. Attract, convert, exit. Matt Terrio has been helping real estate investors do just that for more than a decade now. If you want to make money in real estate, keep listening. If you want it faster, visit R-E-I-Aase.com.

Here's Matt. Hey, Matt here. Welcome to another episode of the Epic Real Estate Investing Show. It is way back Wednesday. This is the day where we reach back into the archives and pull out old classic episodes. And we've been reaching back into the archives of the Do-Over podcast, the podcast that started it all. And I got another great one for you today. Enjoy.

During an era where countless people, businesses, and organizations are feeling the pinch, running out of time, running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, feeling as if life is unfair, praying for another chance, and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Fortunately, in the nick of time, there is now a place where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed, save your career, save your business, save your health, save your relationships, save your relationships, Save your life. Get from where you are to where you want to be,

faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible. Say hello to your do-over. Welcome to your do-over coming to you live from downtown Los Angeles, and this is the place where I show people who want more out of life, people dissatisfied with their current situation. I show them how to start over and begin a new life, setting goals and objectives so they can create wealth and live. life to the fullest. You can jumpstart your do-over and lay a solid foundation for a better life

by downloading the three pillars of creating the ultimate do-over for free at free do-over.com. It's a 55-minute MP3 audio program that I made just for you with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over. The three pillars of creating the ultimate do-over will put the legs under your table. They will lay the foundation for you to achieve and they will act as your traveling success coach. And they are yours for free at free do-over.com. Okay, here we are at episode 30, somewhat of a milestone. I got a quick announcement from the do-over contest that we had a few months ago. There are still a few Starbucks gift cards that have gone unclaimed. So, Terry Burgess, Luis Warigas, Megan Hamill and

Chris Anderson, check your spam, bulk junker deleted email folders to see if you've got your e-gift there, your unclaimed gift there. That's probably where it went if you didn't see it. Go check that out, because I don't want you to miss out on it. that. Also, I want to say thank you for the great comments and ratings that you've been dropping from me over there at iTunes. This one comes from Love Softly. Fantastic is the headline with five stars. I discovered, or should I say God led me to this podcast by accident? Funny thing, two days before I asked God if I could do my life over. And voila, there you were. I have shared this with as many people as will listen. The first podcast I listened to was the one with Justin Yates.

Imagine my chagrin when I learned he and Chad had passed just weeks before. Matt, thank you for the tribute to Justin and Chad. Keep doing what you do. You are certainly making a difference. Infinite love and gratitude, Rodney. Well, Rodney, you're welcome and thank you. I'm glad you're here. Unbelievable, five-star rating from Beaver Ridge Gal 3. How is it that no one has commented on this podcast? I'm only three sessions deep and I already feel as though I'm ready to do better. Do right, do over. Thank you, Matt, Dana Beaveridge. Hopefully I pronounce your name correctly. And I don't understand where you were leaving your comment because we've got over 70 of them now. But I'm really glad you're here.

And thank you, Dana. Welcome. Amazing role model, five stars. I'm listening to the podcast. I grabbed the free download. I bought the book and I'm wearing the t-shirt. Okay, no t-shirt available yet, L-O-L. Well, actually, there is a t-shirt available.

If you go to the website and you click on the book image, that will take you to the sales page, and you can purchase a t-shirt there if you didn't know that. This review goes on to read. I've never been addicted to a podcast until now. Matt is inspiring and motivating me to make some important, life changes and I will be forever grateful. I would highly recommend this to anyone. I'm familiar with a number of business and motivation authors and none of them feel as real as

Matt. Keep doing what you're doing. Matt, you're helping more than you know. That comes from Dan and Lex. So thank you, Dan. I'm glad that you're here and I'm glad that I'm here for you. Okay, one more review. There's a bunch of them on here and I want to read them all and hopefully eventually I

will get to them all, but I really wanted to focus on this one. It comes from Foodie Freed. The title is 15 minutes of self-promotion. total fail. Then she gave me one star. The lead music starts about all the negative things in the world. The world is ending. Thank God. Matt is here to save you. Your health, your relationships, your biz, your life. So annoying, she put in parentheses. Then finally, we have Matt who drones on about his podcast. Then he lists all his thank yous to people who sent him emails. Yeah, well, I guess guilty is charged because I'm doing that right now. And that's probably not going to change.

Then he talks about his giveaways, advertising for the company. And I don't understand. how the giveaways are advertising for the company because all the giveaways I gave, I had absolutely no association with. Those were gifts for you. Then he talks about the fact that he's going to start his own real estate podcast, of which I am. In fact, if you've been waiting for that, I just submitted the first episode on Friday to iTunes. So that should be up and running, should be approved within the next five to seven days. I know a lot of you have been inquiring about when that was going to be available. I started talking about it a long time ago. Forgive me, it was actually a lot more work than I thought it was going to be. I think you'll be

pleasantly surprised once you check it out. She then writes, he continues on for about eight minutes about how awesome it will be and how he can help you. Actually, it is pretty awesome and it will help you. Of course, only if you're interested in real estate investing, will it help you? He then promotes his ebook. Actually, I don't feel like I promote my ebook enough. It's not even an ebook. It's a paperback book. I just put it in e-version to make it accessible to more people. And I don't feel like I promoted enough because 100% of the proceeds are going to charity. That's something worthy of promotion. Then he goes on to thank everyone again and brags about his ratings are so fabulous. They are pretty fabulous and I have you to thank for that. So thank you. We've got over 70 of

them now and they're all five-star ratings except for this one that I'm reading right now. But I read them all. He talks about how you will hear and learn and take action, but mostly you will hear him blabber on about his e-book, self-promotions and marketing before he gets to the freaking podcast. I was suffocating in his marketing chatter that I finally shut it off. Why the heck would I ever want to take advice from a guy who does nothing but talk gibberish. Ugh, total, fail. That fail is written in all capital letters. It's funny that that was her impression.

It's funny that that's how this podcast occurs for her, because there's really nothing for sale. This is totally free. All you had to do is show up and you got it for free. So interesting, but you can't please everybody. And thank you actually to Katyushka 86, by the way, which came to my defense and wrote a direct response to that review. Thank you, Katjewshka.

Chushka. Now, there is a great lesson in here for your do-over, by the way. And what I mean, what would your reaction be to a review like this of your work? Particularly if you felt it was inaccurate, not just inaccurate, but almost the opposite of how you feel about your work. And the opposite of about how pretty much most everybody else feels about your work. How would you react to that type of review? Well, first, you can't please everybody. And typically, those that try to please everybody, end up pleasing nobody. And once you get that, I mean, the sting, it already starts to dissipate a little bit. It takes the sting out of that type of criticism.

And additionally, once you get that well-behaved people rarely make history, and I borrowed that from a bumper sticker, by the way, but I thought it was ingenious. I can't take credit for it. It was from a bumper sticker. And as much as I'd like to, I think the rule is you have to give credit to the author for the first three times before you can claim it as your own. So two more times, and I'm taking it. But what I mean by that idea, well-behaved people rarely make history is, if you're not

ruffling some feathers, if you're not making some waves along the way in your do-over, you're probably playing it a little too safe. Not always, but that's definitely something to look at. I mean, you could probably afford to take a few more risks or chances than you're currently taking at the very least. I mean, that's where your real progress lies, just on the other side of your fear. And it is fear that stands in between everything you currently have and everything that you want. And most people fear taking risks. And as I think I said in the last episode, those that risk

nothing, risk everything. Now that's a quote that I've used more than three times. That one is now mine. Anyway, I wouldn't consider a critical review like the one I received from Foodie Freed as making waves or taking risks. Perhaps I should be ruffling a few more feathers. But the reason I brought that up is those two distinctions I just talked about. First, you can't please everybody. Don't try to. And second, that if you are pleasing everybody, you might want to review how you're going about things. Now, there are no absolutes in there, by the way. They are just thoughts that I have that contribute to the meaning that I attach to that critical review. You see, in every experience you have, there is what happened, and there is the meaning that you attached to it. So again, what would you

make a critical review like that of your work mean? I mean, a review just like the one that I received. What would you make that mean if that was directed towards you? I ask because in this world, it's not what happens to you so much that will determine where you end up. It's how you respond to what's happening. And a great deal of how you respond will be in direct correlation to the meaning that you attach to what happens. Now, when your do-over, you're going to gain great power and control when you're able to separate what happened or what's so. When you're able to separate what's so in the meaning that you attach to it or the story you create around what happens. It's like this. When your health is perfect and you're feeling great, either physically or mentally or both, the weather is great, the skies are blue, birds are chirping, money isn't a concern, time isn't a concern, and everyone you meet, they like you or they seem to fall in love with you. I mean, doesn't life just feel great when that happens?

What? You've never experienced all of the planets aligning like this? You don't know what that feels like? Or even if you do, you don't get to feel it nearly as much as you'd like. You see, These feelings and experiences, they rarely come together all at the same time. And when just one of these is out of alignment, a great deal of our existence, it seems to be work. It becomes a chore. It becomes hassle or struggle. Or at the very least, it becomes a worry. And then you find yourself worrying about how much you're worrying. And the reason we do this is because of the meanings that we attach to what we experience or the meanings that we attach to what happens.

We make everything mean so much more than it actually does. if it actually has any meaning at all. And we'll get to that in just a second. When you're not feeling well physically, and it means you're eating the wrong food, right? Or it means your environment is toxic. Or it means you got screwed genetically, or it means you need to change your lifestyle,

or it means you're a victim of bad luck. It means there's a virus going around. I mean, there's a ton of meaning that you can attach to feeling bad. Now, if the weather outside isn't to your liking, it means you live in the wrong place. It means global warming is becoming more apparent. It means it's earthquake,

weather. It means prophecy of the Bible is coming to light. We can make bad weather mean just about anything too. Now here's one that many people deal with frequently. If you're struggling financially, it means you're not good enough, it means you're not doing enough, you're doing the wrong thing, you're not working hard enough, you're not lucky enough, or someone's stealing from you, or life isn't fair. It means there's too much competition, or it means all of the opportunity is gone. It means you're struggling because you never get a break. When there's a ton of things we can make financial challenges mean. Or if people in your environment begin to change their patterns of being around you, or they are ignoring you, or they don't seem as nice as they used to. I mean, there must be

something wrong with you, right? Or you make that mean there's something wrong with them. We are meaning-making machines. By the very nature of being a human being, you are a meaning-making machine. Your mind works overtime to attach meaning to every experience that you have, and the meanings you attach to what happens will dictate how your do-over unfolds, how your life unfolds. So there is what happened and there's the meaning you attach to it. They are separate. They are not the same thing. As much as they may seem like it most of the time, they are not the same thing. Here are a couple of examples. Imagine someone calls you a jerk. Okay, that's what happened. Someone called you a jerk. Now, what do you make that mean? Well, in real life, it'll have a great deal to do

with who actually called you a jerk, right? If your spouse or partner called you a jerk, you might dismiss it as you know that they actually love you and they were just upset at the moment. They didn't really mean it. Or if your best friend calls you a jerk, you know them well enough to know if they really think you're a jerk or not. But what do you make it mean?

Do you make it mean that your friend is delusional and that they're the jerk, not you? Or do you make it mean, yeah, you got me, I'm a jerk. Or do you make it mean, I know they think I'm a jerk, but they really don't mean it. Now imagine a total stranger walking down the street and they call you a jerk in passing. What do you make that mean?

That there has another meaning entirely, doesn't it? Hopefully you're starting to see the separation of the two, the separation of what happened or what so and what you make it mean, or the story that you create around what happened. What's so is someone called you a jerk. But in each scenario, you made it mean something totally different. As humans, as I mentioned, we are meaning, making machines. That's what we do. Each and every situation we experience throughout our day,

throughout our lives, every situation is perceived differently by each person. One man's garbage is another man's treasure. Each experience occurs differently for each person. In fact, the world occurs differently for each person. There is no right or wrong. There is no good or bad. Each experience you have during the day, during your life, does not have any meaning. It's you. You you that brings the meaning to the experience and in result dictates how you respond. And how you respond creates your life. Are you following me? Here are the type of situations you'll experience during the day that dictate how your day unfolds

or how your life unfolds for that matter. If your spouse leaves their socks on the floor, they left their socks on the floor. That's what happened. That's what so. There are socks on the floor that they didn't pick up. Now, what do you make that mean? Your spouse is taking you for granted? Your spouse doesn't love you, or your spouse isn't feeling well and it slipped their mind,

or your spouse is working overtime at the office and is too tired to do it. Whichever meaning you attach to, your spouse leaving their socks on the floor will impact the rest of your day. Maybe a little bit, maybe a lot. Depends on how often it happens, right? Either you'll proceed through your day feeling unloved and resentment for your spouse, and you chain a bunch of days like that together. It's likely to be a very unhappy marriage with a less than desirable ending, right? or you'll feel compassion and a need to help your spouse.

Those are two extremely different lives, and it all began when something meaningless happened. Sox were left on the floor. It's the meaning that you brought to the socks on the floor that contributed to the creation of the rest of your day, that ultimately leads to the creation of the rest of your life. I mean, okay, here's another. What if you're driving to work and someone cuts you off?

I mean, it happens on a daily basis, right? And what do you make it mean? The driver is inconsiderate, The driver is inept. The driver has it out for you. The driver is late to work. It must be a life or death situation. I hope they make it to their destination safely on time.

Again, very different meanings you can attach to what happened. Someone cut you off. That's what happened. There is no meaning to someone cutting you off until you bring the meaning to it. Life's occurrences have no meaning. What happens? What's so is empty and meaningless. In fact, life is empty and meaningless.

And it's empty and meaningless that life is empty and meaningless. It's the meaning that we each individually bring to life that creates the life that we experience. Now, I know that that might be a little heavy for you, especially if you've never heard anything of the sort. It was for me. In fact, I was rather depressed for a while thinking, wow, life is empty and meaningless. What's the use? Why do I even try? What's the use of even going on?

I mean, all types of depressing thoughts were going through my head until I realized, I'm making life is empty and meaningless mean something. I'm bringing a meaning to life is empty and meaningless, a meaning of which is depressing me. And then the second part hit me. It's empty and meaningless that it's empty and meaningless. I can make this mean whatever I want to make it mean.

It's my choice. You know what? And it's your choice too. You can make life mean whatever you want to make it mean. You are blessed with free will. That is a gift given to you by God. Not only can you make life mean what you want it to mean, you can make a critical review on iTunes mean what you want it to mean.

You are responsible for your own experiences in life. And when you really start to get that, life takes on a whole new meaning. Pun intended. I often reference the Bible as the original personal development book. What I mean by that is anything you find written by Tony Robbins or Napoleon Hill or Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Phil, whoever your favorite self-help guru may be, there are Bible references to support their teachings, teachings of which came 2,000 years prior to the guru of the day. So, is there a Bible reference for life is empty and meaningless?

As a Christian, this was a question that I had. It was a serious question at that. I mean, I can imagine many of you might be thinking the same. Well, if you have your Bible's handy, turn to Ecclesiastes 1. What does it say? It says right there in black and white, everything is meaningless. And it doesn't just say everything is meaningless. It says everything is meaningless with an exclamation point.

It goes on to read, the words of the teacher, son of David, king, and Jerusalem. Meaningless, meaningless. Both followed by exclamation points, by the way. meaningless, meaningless, says the teacher. Utterly meaningless, another exclamation point. Everything is meaningless. It says that in the Bible, and it goes on to explain how everything is meaningless. Wisdom is meaningless.

Pleasures are meaningless. Folly is meaningless. Toil is meaningless, meaning your work is meaningless. Now I ask you, if you've never heard this before, what are you making it mean right now? Pretty heavy stuff, huh? Okay, let's get practical. Let's bring it down to earth. How can you use this in your life?

How can you use this in your do-over? Let me sum this up and recap just a bit and wrap it up into three things you deserve to remember or keep at front of mind. First, the world occurs differently for everybody. And how they perform correlates accordingly. Another way to say it is, there's what happens and then there's what you make it mean. They are separate. It's never what happens that upsets us. It's how we perceive what happens and how we judge what happens that upsets us.

It's the conversations we have with ourselves about what that means. Another example. You're sitting in a room with a group of people and someone stands up, leaves the room, and slams the door. Your instinct would be to think, or your reflex would be to think they were angry. But what happened? They left the room. The door slammed. What did you make it mean?

They were angry. But see, you could be wrong. And that's where communication or miscommunication, rather, can create a mess. It can create a real mess. That type of miscommunication can cause irreparable damage in some scenarios. Unless you know how to manage it. Unless you're aware that the world occurs differently for everybody and that each person attaches their own individual meaning to each individual occurrence.

That's number one. Know that the world occurs differently for everybody. There is no right or wrong. There is no good or bad. There is just varying degrees and varying experiences of how the world occurs for everybody, and it occurs differently for everybody. Two, the second thing, how a situation occurs for someone arises in language. When something happens, a thought is created, and that thought leads to an emotion,

and then that emotion will lead to words. And at this point, it's typically when you get your first clue as to how the situation is occurring for someone. And rather than reacting to someone's words, particularly when those words evoke heightening, the emotions in you, rather than reacting, try a different approach. Try getting curious. Get curious. Inspect what is there. You know, as the fifth habit of highly effective people by Stephen Covey is to first seek to understand and then be understood. That's number two. Get curious as to how the world is occurring for those that you encounter. Now three, the third thing, use future-based language. Future-based language will transform how situations occur to people. I mean, you've heard me

reference it many times before. Stop focusing on what's happening and focus on what you want to have happen. As what happened might not be an issue to deal with at all. It could be something that just happened and you likely attached a disempowering meaning to it and by focusing on what you want to have happen more times than not, the yucky stuff, the uncomfortable stuff, the stuff that causes you to worry, it disappears. That's how I deal with what ails me internally. I focus on the future. I focus on what I want to have happen, not what's happening. Now, when someone else is involved, whether an individual or a small group, or maybe your church congregation or your sales department at work, use future-based language to

positively impact the situation and move forward towards resolution and progress. The way that logic affects you internally, by the use of future-based language, you can impact your environment externally. That same logic that works on you internally will work on your external world as well. Use future-based language. And that's pretty heavy and nerdy personal development stuff. But if you're still listening to this podcast, meaning if you've listened to episodes in the past and you haven't unsubscribed, you're ready for it. You can handle it. And just like anything else that have discussed with you, there's nothing right or wrong here. There's nothing good or bad about any of this. None of it's true, by the way. There's nothing to believe here either. These are just tools that I should.

share with you. This is just another way of countless ways to approach life, to deal with it, to manage it, to make it work for you. So take what you like and ditch what you don't. It's like trying on a brand new pair of sunglasses. You take them off the rack, you try them on, you look in the mirror, and you either like what you see or you don't. You then decide to buy or not. All of this is just like that, a pair of sunglasses. So if you got nothing from today's episode, or if you feel completely overwhelmed and confused, I'm just going to request that you take one thing away from this, because it's pretty universal.

Be conscious of what you make things mean. Be conscious of the type of life that your habitual reflexes of making things mean. Be conscious of what type of life that's creating for you. Or if you don't, you end up being a slave to those reflexes. You lose control of your life. And who knows where you'll end up? In conclusion, one way or the other, You will always add meaning to what happens.

There's no getting around that. By the nature of being human, you will do that. Where you want to draw your focuses. Are you choosing your meanings consciously, or are your instincts and reflexes choosing for you? They create two entirely different lives. The meaning you attach to what happens is that powerful. So, to my new friend, Foodie Freed,

my harshest critic to date, I thank you for sharing your observations with me. God loves you, and so do I. I am Matt, the do-over guy, and I will see you on the next episode of your do-over. Thank you for tuning in to your do-over, where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. And remember, knowledge is potential power. Take action on what you learn today. This is not your learn-over.

It's your do-over. To view the resources referenced in today's show and to retrieve a complete show transcript, visit www. www.the-doover guy.com. Stay connected with Matt the do-over guy terrio on Twitter at the doover guy and on Facebook at www. facebook.com slash doover guru. This podcast is a part of the C-suite Radio Network. For more top business podcasts, visit c-sweetradio.com.