Epic Real Estate Investing - You Can Control It, or It Will Control You | 968

Episode Date: March 25, 2020

If you're having trouble getting started on your 'do over,' it's on purpose! Contrary to what you believe to be true, you are purposefully not getting started. Tune in and find out why!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Terrio Media. Success in real estate has nothing to do with shiny objects. It has everything to do with mastering the basics. The three pillars of real estate investing. Attract, convert, exit. Matt Terrio has been helping real estate investors do just that for more than a decade now. If you want to make money in real estate, keep listening. If you want it faster, visit r-e-I-Ase.com.

Here's Matt. Hey, Matt here. Welcome to another episode of the Epic Real Estate Investing Show. It is way back Wednesday. This is the day where we reach back into the archives and pull out old classic episodes. And we've been reaching back into the archives of the Do-Over podcast, the podcast that started it all. And I got another great one for you today. Enjoy.

During an era where countless people, businesses, and organizations are feeling the pinch, running out of time, running out of money, losing confidence, feeling as if life is unfair, praying for another chance, and unless something is done, life is going to pass them by. Fortunately, in the nick of time, there is now a place where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results, and making life work are revealed. Save your career, save your business, save your health, save your relationships, save your life get from where you are to where you want to be faster and with greater ease than you ever thought possible say hello to your do-over welcome this is episode 61 of the your do-over

podcast and this is matt the do-over guiterio and this is the place where i show people who want more out of life people to satisfy with their current situation people who are sick and tired of being sick and tired or even people that are cool with life, but just want more out of it. I mean, this is the place where I show them all. I show them all how to start over and begin a new life, setting goals and objectives so that they can create wealth, they can create financial freedom, they can create the lives of their dreams, then they can live that life to the fullest. And you, you can get your do-over started fast by laying a solid foundation when you download

the three pillars of creating the ultimate do-over for free at freedover.com. It's a 55-minute MP3 audio program that I made just for you with three specific steps on how to get success as you start over. And it's yours for free at free do-over.com. All righty. So, let's talk about your do-over today on the do-over show. I mean, actually, I guess we're always talking about it, but let's talk about the do-over that you have yet to begin. Or the do-over that you have yet to take on with commitment and determination.

you know, the one you're still contemplating, the one that you're investigating, the one that you're researching, the one that you're getting ready to get ready to embark on. You know, the one that you've actually begun and are wondering if you made the right decision. The one that's, I don't know, inevitable. It's coming. It's right around the corner, but you're kind of holding on until the very end before you have to do anything. You know, that do-over. You know the one I'm talking about, right? I mean, it might be in your personal life.

It might be, you know, looking to end a relationship or looking to start a new one. It might be physically, even thinking about shredding some pounds or, or you might be thinking about, you know, putting on some lean muscle mass onto your frame. Or maybe it's the do-over in your professional life. Maybe you're just, you know, you just got laid off and you're looking for what to do next, to get a new job. Should I go get a new job? should I stay in the same industry or should I start my own business?

Or maybe you have a job and it's just no longer fulfilling and you've got to make a change. Or maybe you've lost a bunch of money in an investment and you need to do over your finances. Or you've made a little bit of your money back. Maybe you've made some of that money back seemingly with some luck maybe. And you're hesitating or you're hesitating on increasing your finances or making further investments because of your past experiences. You might be a little bit scared about doing that. Or, you know, like many people that I speak to.

Maybe it's a little of all of the above, right? Can you relate? I'm sure, I mean, you're a human being in some aspect or some area of your life you can certainly relate. So what is it that has you struggling to take action? What is it that has you struggling to get started? Or what is it that has you stuck in second gear, pondering whether you should shift to third or fourth gear and when you should actually do it.

I mean, you know your situation better than I do. But this is what I do know. We are not random creatures. You are not a random creature doing random things. I mean, everything we do, everything you do is on purpose. I mean, you haven't started that do-over on purpose. Did you know that? You're doing it on purpose.

You haven't committed to your do-over on purpose. I mean, what your purpose for doing so is, I don't know. And perhaps you don't even know yourself, and that's okay. I mean, whether your purpose is on the conscious level or the subconscious level, there is absolutely one single overriding reason behind your behavior. It governs every decision you make and every action that you take. I mean, it's every decision and every action and every category that I previously mentioned. I mean, your personal life, your professional life,

your spiritual life, your physical life, it governs and impacts all areas of your life. In fact, it's got a hold of you and impacting your very being right now, right this very second. I mean, everything that you and I do, every decision that we make and every action that we take, we do to either gain pleasure or avoid pain.

We do everything. Every decision we make, every action that we take is either to gain pleasure or avoid pain. Pleasure or pain. So if you haven't embarked on that new fitness program, it's because you associate more pain with starting it, then you do the pleasure that you'll attain from the fitness program's results. And if you haven't ended that relationship yet,

it's because you associate more pain to ending that relationship, then you do the pleasure that you'd gain from being out of it. haven't started that new job or that new business yet? Well, because whether consciously or subconsciously, you are associating more pain by starting it than you associate with the pleasure you'll receive from doing so, or the pleasure that you're currently experiencing. I mean, perhaps, you know, this is a simple concept for you to grasp,

and maybe not. Maybe you're right there with me and you get every single word I'm talking about, or this is the first time you ever heard of something like this. and you're still thinking about it. Well, regardless of where you stand within this concept, understanding this concept and using this concept is what will be needed to create improvements in your situation and for those improvements to be lasting.

I mean, disregarding this idea or underestimating the power that pleasure and pain have over your life and your future, will have you forever living a life of reacting to the external forces of the world, to your environment. To whatever crosses your path, you just kind of react and you just go with the flow.

I mean, it's kind of like, you know, bouncing around like a little steel ball in a pinball machine. Understanding and implementing the force of pleasure and pain will give you the power to navigate through the bumpers, to avoid the levers. I mean, those are my pinball metaphors. I was searching for another,

but then I started to think, I haven't seen a pinball machine in a very long time. right? Hopefully you all know what a pinball machine is. I'm going to assume that you do. I think that's a save assumption. I'm not ready to admit aging myself with that reference just yet. So for most people, the desire for pleasure or gain is typically overridden by their fear of pain or loss. For example, I mean, what would drive you more? Preventing someone from stealing the $100,000 you've worked so hard for over the last five years, or the potential of earning $100,000 in the next five years. Which would drive you more?

Which force would drive you more? You know, the truth of the matter is that most people, and I've darn near say all people, would fight more for what they already have than they would for fighting for what they want to get or what they could get. That's just the way it is. It's more painful to lose the $100,000.

that's a stronger driving force within you to protect that $100,000, then the driving force would have you to go out and earn that $100,000. That makes sense? I mean, it's just really the way it is. I mean, we are human. And human beings, that's how we function. So now knowing that, though, you can use this distinction to your favor. or this distinction will cause or excuse me,

this distinction will use you to your detriment. You can use this distinction to your favor or this distinction will use you to your detriment. You see, whether you believe it or not, what you associate pleasure with and what you associate pain with, that's going to shape your life. I mean, think back at a moment of your life

where you actually reach the point where enough is enough. I'll never do that. again. And you really didn't ever, you never did it again. I mean, I remember one of those moments for me when I was, uh, 25 years old, I think, 24, 25 years old. I was like, I remember it in my mom's house and I saw a photograph of myself. And it was a photograph that had just been taken a couple weeks previously. And I saw the picture of myself and I didn't recognize myself. It was such a surreal experience. I was like, who's that? And my mom looked at me like I was, kidding or joking.

But I really didn't recognize myself. I mean, I had reached almost, I think I was right at 240 pounds at 5 foot 11, and I had no idea how I really look. It was a very, very painful day. And my weight has fluctuated since, but I've never been close to that weight again.

And the pain was so huge to have seen a picture of myself and not recognized myself. I don't know if any of you've ever done that. I don't know if this was a unique experience, but it blew me away. I mean, I didn't have this pleasure, pain distinction then, but it didn't matter. It's still there. Whether you choose to believe it or not, it's still there.

It still governs your life, whether you're in control of it or not. The pain was natural, and I've never been back to that weight, because it was a real pain. It was a real shocking moment, and I've never been back to that weight. I think the heaviest I've gotten since was like 225 pounds. and that sense memory of what that felt like at 240, anytime I approached like that 220 range, it just rushes into me and I go into immediate diet and fitness moaks. I remember what that was like.

And it was so painful. It's like, I don't even have to make a decision to start working out again. I don't have to make a decision to start watching what I'm eating. It just happens because that pain was so intense. And it's so vivid. The memory is so vivid. But now, I mean, my weight does still fluctuate. So it's obvious that I get to a point in my weight and my physical appearance and how I feel

where it's more painful to stay on my diet and fitness mode than it is to indulge in good food and drink and sleep in rather than waking up early to hit the gym. And now, I'll be using that distinction because I'm at a point right now. I've really made a commitment this last year about around my health and around my fitness. And I have this distinction and I'm using it right now. You see, I'm going to make a public display of my appearance. You know, I've lost 20 pounds this year, and I've been comfortably hovering right around 200 pounds

for the last, I don't know, five months or so. And I'm in one of these plateaus. But even though I feel good, I mean, most of my clothes fit again, and, you know, I'm just not where I want to be physically. So, armed with this distinction, this pleasure, pain, distinction, I've got to make it more painful for me to stay right here at 200 than my desire for pleasure at what I'm guessing is, I don't know, probably around 180 pounds. I think I got another 20 pounds to lose, and I'll really be feeling good.

I mean, that's where I think I'll be very comfortable with my parents. And I just want to get back to a 32-inch waist in my jeans. I haven't been there since I think my, I was there my senior year in high school, and then I hit it again around 35, 36 years old, somewhere there. Anyway, so I'm just, I'm making a public declaration to post my before and after pictures on my website. 60 days from today. Today is September 16th is when I'm recording this. So 60 days from today.

So check the website. November, that would be November 15th, I guess. We'll just make a nice round number. November 15th, I'm going to go ahead and post my picks. All right? You see, the reason that I'm going to do that is because that would be a very painful experience. It would be very painful for me to give my word to you and not keep it. I mean, how would I look if I don't follow three?

If I don't follow the advice that I gave, I mean, that could be the end of my podcast career. It could be the, it would ruin my credibility. That would be very painful for me. So I'm declaring it today, okay? And additionally, I mean, I'm not really excited about posting an out-of-shaped picture of myself on my website either. That would also be very painful.

So what I'm going to do with this distinction is creating a situation of where the pain of not achieving my goal outweighs the place, pleasure of achieving it. Make sense? And it's just a game. I mean, you don't have to take it all that seriously if you don't want to. It's just a game that I get to play with myself to achieve what I want to achieve my goals. And you can do it too. You can do it in any area of your life to any degree. I mean, if we link massive pain to any behavior or result, we avoid indulging in that behavior or experiencing the result at all costs. And armed with this distinction and understanding of it, we can virtually change anything in our lives.

I'm just choosing at this moment to deal with my weight. And my weight's not even that big of a deal. I just want to be in great shape. So that's where I'm using it. You get to use it wherever you want. You can do this in any area of your life. I just like to use games around this distinction. I've talked about this before in a past episode, actually probably a couple past episodes

with regard to throwing your hat over the wall or with regard to putting your butt on the line. So where can you create some games in your life using this distinction? And the types of games around pleasure and pain that will advance your due over forward. Where can you mitigate some of the pain from your most painful activities? So you actually do them. The activities, you know, those activities you just don't want to do every day that you know you should be doing. I mean, I remember when I did a lot of prospecting to distressed homeowners as a real estate investor. And even as a real estate agent, I did this actually, it started this as a real estate agent.

I just hated calling people asking them if they wanted to sell their house. I hated it. And I hated it so much, but I knew it was what I had to do to get the results that I wanted. I mean, I could sit around and wait like the other real estate agents for the business to come to them, or I could go out there and get it and really excel my career and speed up my results. So what I would do is I would go to the beach. a place I truly love to be. And I'd make my phone calls there.

So I took this really awful, painful experience that I hated to do, and I combined it with something that I really enjoyed. And what happened was the calls just weren't so bad then. Still didn't like them much, but I enjoyed the beach so much. It offset the pain quite a bit of making those calls. And I would just, I would pretend. I'd play this game where I pretended that I was some real estate mogul making business calls while I was on vacation at some tropical resort.

That's what's great about this. It's your game. You get to make the rules. You get to make the rules of your game. And that particular game, that just worked for me. And I got my results. Because I made those calls all the time because I knew I got to go to the beach in the afternoon to make those calls. Now, you don't have to go to extremes by posting your before and after pictures on the internet.

You don't have to do anything like that. but I do recommend giving something extreme a shot. Give it a try because it's that extreme pain that is really going to get you into action. It's going to get you the results that you're looking for. I just want you... I recommend you try something extreme. You don't have to because it works on every level.

But if you want awesome, awesome results, try something extreme, just to see what results you get. You know, I've said it so many times and I'm going to continue saying it as the wisdom is indisputable. You know, if you want something you don't have, you're going to have to do something you're not doing. And likely, no, almost assuredly,

you've linked some sort of pain, whether consciously or subconsciously, to whatever it is that you're not doing. Follow me? So, create a game around those painful activities. Create a game around that thing or those things that you're not doing to get what you don't have. That's the only way you're going to get it

is by doing those things. if you could have it without doing those things, you'd probably have it, right? So create a game around those painful activities. Either make them more enjoyable, a like going to the beach or your favorite place, maybe in the Midwest or you don't live close to a beach, that's fine.

Maybe it's a lake, maybe it's a stream. Maybe it's, I don't know, maybe it's the library or maybe it's the stadium where you used to play football or something like that. Just your favorite place. I mean, if you can do them mobily, go for it. Or, here's an other thing that works, buddy system, do them with a friend.

Take a buddy with you. Do it together. That always makes things more enjoyable. Or create some sort of competition with a co-worker. And place a wager on it. And don't do something small like a cup of coffee at the end of the week. Whoever wins. You know, make it something that's going to be painful if you lose.

Listen, this is actually very serious business. I mean, this is your life. I like to use a game to assist me in what I think and what I link to pleasure and what I link to pain. I just use a game and I'm sharing a game with you because it's what most people will do. Most people like to play games. They don't like to think it's life or death.

But in a sense, it could be for you. It actually, it is. I mean, there is an entire science around this subject of pleasure and pain, a science of which I'm not an expert at by any means. I do, however, understand the concept. and I understand how to use it as much as possible so that it uses me as little as possible. You got it? I understand it so I can use it as much as possible so that it uses me as little as possible.

You know, if you fail to take control, if you fail to take these proactive actions around what you associate to pleasure and pain, you're living no differently and certainly no better than animals and machines that just continually react to their environments, giving massive amounts of power to the next thing that crosses their path, to dictate what direction you're headed, of which, you know, ultimately determines the quality of the life that you lead. So you've got to take control of this.

You've got, now that you understand it, you've got to use it so it doesn't use you. Again, I mean, books have been written about this one subject, and it goes much deeper than what I've touched on today. I've just scratched the surface today. You know, if you want lasting change, I recommend reading some additional material. But I've given you enough to be conscious of

to positively impact your life right now with regard to your current decisions, your current actions. I mean, as soon as you're done listening to this episode, ask yourself, why am I doing what I'm doing right now? What pleasure am I gaining right now? Or what pleasure do I plan to gain by what I'm doing right now? Or what pain am I avoiding right now?

Probably a more powerful question there. So ask yourself these questions frequently throughout the day and you'll start to learn a whole lot about yourself. And there's nothing more powerful than knowing what makes you tick. And further, knowing how to make yourself tick to get the results that you want. And it's all founded in this pleasure and this pain principle. I mean, we're all different.

No two of us are alike. But what we all do have in common is that every moment of the day, we are striving for pleasure or we are avoiding pain. And typically what I've noticed is that short-term pain leads to long-term pleasure. and short-term pleasure leads to long-term pain. So as you start to recognize the short-term or current pains that you're avoiding right now in exchange for some short-term pleasure, that exchange is leading you to long-term pain.

For example, you're avoiding going to the gym, and in its place, you are experiencing some short-term pleasure by sleeping in, or sitting on the couch or kicking your feet back and and cracking open a cold one and drinking a beer. See, you're avoiding the pain of going to the gym. That is a short-term pleasure of which leads to long-term pain. Make sense? And conversely, when you take on those short-term pains, like actually going to the gym, I mean, you stare them in the face, you suck it up, and you get to work,

that leads to long-term happiness, long-term pleasure, long-term comfort. I mean, I suppose this was the foundation of one of my all-time favorite quotes, a quote that I've embraced over the years. I embraced it right at the beginning of my do-over, and it's forever changed my life. And it's a concept that's still very instrumental in my results today. And that quote is, I don't even know where I heard this first, the first time and it's got some different variations to it.

But if you do for the next few years what most people won't do, those painful things, you'll be able to do for the rest of your life what most people can't do, those pleasurable things. Get it? If you do for the next few years what most people won't do, you'll be able to do for the rest of your life what most people can't do. And I have just embraced that and used that to my advantage.

and I got to tell you, sometimes it doesn't take two years. Sometimes it's three years. Sometimes it's four years. Sometimes it's a year and a half. You know, these last six months have probably been the best six months of my entire do-over.

I've accomplished more in the last six months than I did probably in the previous three years. So, but just know that the short-term pleasure, the short-term avoiding of pain in exchange for that short-term pleasure leads to long-term. pain. Taking that short-term pleasure leads to long-term pain. And taking on and staring that that short-term pain in the face leads to long-term pleasure. So if you do for the next few years

what most people won't do, you'll be able to do for the rest of your life what most people can't do. All righty. So that's it for today. If you want to dig deeper into this subject for yourself, I kind of mention some additional reading. I highly recommend that you do dig deeper into this. It's just your do-over. It's just your life. that we're talking about here. Grab yourself a copy of Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. Say what you want about it. You might have a preconceived notion about him and his infomercials and what he's about.

It doesn't matter. The guy hits the nail right on the head when you actually dig into his content and you listen to what he's saying. So grab yourself a copy of Awakening the Giant Within. I read this book at least once a year. And I've been doing that for 10 years, I believe. No, no. It's been out for about 10, 11 years. I picked the book up maybe five or six years ago.

So once a year, actually a couple of those years, I read it twice a year. And it's just as valid today as it was when it was released. You don't even need his new programs. This book will do it all for you. So grab that book and read chapter three. Chapter three. To date, it's probably the best content I've read on the subject matter. And as Tony so eloquently puts it in this chapter,

if you don't have a plan for your life, someone else does. or something else does. You got to be proactive about it. You've got to create your plan. And you know how to do that and stick to your plan by using this concept of pain and pleasure. Okay? Because if you don't have a plan for your life,

someone else does. I mean, you can control this pleasure pain force or it will control you. And that's good news, by the way. Not depressing. That's really good news. You see, you have a choice. You have a choice to control your life.

you're not sentenced to a life of pain because this force exists. You can actually create a life of pleasure because this force exists. It's good news. You have a choice. You have a choice to control your life and your results in your life. Or not. And that's not complicated either. Don't be daunted by this concept.

Be excited about it. You just have to make the choice and do it. All righty. God loves you and so do I. I am Matt the do-over guy and I will see you on the next episode of your do-over. Thank you for tuning in to your do-over where the ignored, underestimated, and unknown steps to producing results and making life work are revealed. And remember, knowledge is potential power. Take action on what you learn today.

This is not your learnover. It's your do-over. To view the resources referenced in today's show and to retrieve a complete show transcript, visit www. Thedoverguy.com. Stay connected with Matt the do-over guy Terrio on Twitter at the doover guy and on Facebook at www.com slash doover guru. This podcast is a part of the C-Suite Radio Network.

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